When Life Breaks You: How to Rebuild | Jon McLernon

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1:02Nothing is watered down and nothing is PC. All righty. Well, hey folks, this is Joe. Ruse. It is great to be with you once again, transmitting a live, of course, from the asylum and doing the very best we can to bring you the best quality talk radio we can muster without all the bluster. Folks, welcome to the show today. Folks, we got a great guest lined up. I'm really looking forward to getting into a conversation when we had a great conversation before the show started and I have a feeling it's not going to be one of those things that, you know, it's, you didn't get the moment at the time, but we can carry it over. So I'm hoping that we got that. And I think we do it because he's a great guy, great conversation. So my question for you today, folks, is what is the biggest obstacle standing between you and the life that you wanted wasn't and isn't a lack of discipline? What the way your brain has been conditioned by trauma, fear and habit. Tonight we're going to be joined by Jonathan McLernan, a board certified health coach,

2:02podcast host and creator of the neuro quit method after surviving incredible personal hardships, including PTSD losing more than 100 pounds. Jonathan now helps people break free from emotional eating, addiction and self sabotage by combining neuroscience, psychology and faith. This isn't just a conversation about weight loss folks. It's a conversation about identity. It's about healing. It's about lasting transformation. And we're going to get into that here momentarily, but let's take care of some of the usual housekeeping first as we get through this. All right, folks, so please, if you would head over to our website, this jurus.com, that's jurus.com. And when you get over there, please take a look at the context section. It's hidden in that little pancake there in the upper right corner. Open that thing up, fire us off a message, let us know whatever's on your heart, whatever's on your mind, any questions, comments, cares or concerns that you might have. Maybe you have a complaint you really shouldn't at this point, but you might. You could send that over to us. Maybe you have a suggestion for a guest or a suggestion for a topic you'd like us to try to cover on the show. Let us know and we'd be happy to look into that for you.

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4:04Also if you want to check out the live audio, you can do that as well by heading over to our website at joruz.com. And you can check us out wherever you get your podcasts available everywhere. So make sure you check it out. There's plenty of places to find this. So please do that. Also, very, very, very important algorithm. Don't forget like, subscribe and share the show with your friends, your family and your followers. That way you'll help us to spread the joy, the love, the amusement of this show with everybody. All right. So please take a look and do that. I forgot to turn the phone off. We got to do that really quick. Otherwise, people going to drive me crazy as if they don't know that we're doing a show at the same time every blessed day. So make sure you check it out. Make sure you like, subscribe and share the show with your friends, your family and your followers. All right. Tonight's connection is brought to you by PodMatch, the Tinder for podcasters. Great platform to be a part of. Really, really happy to be there. Mostly because in reality, most podcasts, guests and hosts spend hours doing research,

5:07coordinating interviews, working on administrative tasks, where they're really only spending about 10% of their time on what really matters. And that's bringing you the audience impactful podcasts. What podcasters, what podmatch does is it enables podcasters to end host, guest end host, to reclaim their time through automations and streamline processes so they can focus on creating content that really, really serves their listeners. Now, if you want more information about that, just head over to podmatch.com slash member, slash show. That's our profile for this show. And when you get over there, take a look around. You might like it if you sign up. That would be great. And you never know. You might end up being a guest on our show, which would be a lot of fun. So check it out at podmatch.com slash member slash Joe. That's podmatch.com slash member slash Joe. All right. I see him fidgeting in the background there. So let's bring him on up. Tonight's guest is Jonathan McLean and Jonathan is a national board certified health and wellness coach and creator of the neuroquit method.

6:08He's surviving a brutal assault in South Africa, battling PTSD, emotional eating and losing over 100 pounds. He rebuilt his life by combining neuroscience, psychology, metabolic health and faith. Very important. He's also the host of between the before and after podcast where he explores stories of transformation and resilience. Now tonight, we're going to be talking about addiction, self-sabotage identity and what it really takes to create lasting change. Jonathan, welcome to the show. Absolutely pleasure to be here. And I'm glad you mentioned podmatch because I'm a big fan of podmatch and Alex Enfilippo. I think he's one of the co-founders of podmatch. Just a great human being and what he wants to do the podcasting space. So I think he's using AI for benevolent purposes here. So I think that's a great way to do it and make things efficient. So yeah, shout out to Alex and podmatch on my side too. For the noble cause. To bring great podcasts to the world. That's great. Now it's a great platform. Not for almost two years, I think. And just great people.

7:08I love going to and we're attending the little webinars that they do and they're really encouraging. And just one of the things I love, just to sidetrack for a second. One of the things I love about dealing with Alex is, I shot him an email not too long ago and just offering us a suggestion for a topic to cover on one of the seminars and the webinars that they do. And man, I was not expecting an email back with so many encouraging points and comments and suggestions and direction that he gave me to answer my question. Also while saying at some point down the road, they're going to do something like that for my particular question. And it was great. I mean, the personal interaction you get with podmatch is fantastic. And I think that's just a fantastic organization and he struck gold with this. Absolutely. Totally agree. Jonathan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coming at you from Red Deer, Alberta, Canada. So we're north of the, north of the 49th parallel just above Montana east of the Rocky

8:12Mountains. But you know what? It's not such a bad place to be. Canada gets a bad rap sometimes and there's a lot of things happening here that don't love. But I do. At the end of the day, I still love being born in Canada. I know I'm pretty lucky. I've traveled around the world and so I'm still pretty lucky. You got Canada home, even though doing some things I totally disagree with. So that's a great point. You know, just think, you know, the Lord could have put you anywhere. Yeah. And he puts you there. And I say the same thing for myself here. I'm not thrilled with the direction the country goes. But you know what? I'm blessed in the fact that I was born here in this country that God put me here. Give me, give me great parents. Not going to say godly parents because they really weren't until much, much, much later in life. But you know, I could have been born in Pakistan. You know, absolutely. Yeah. You know, and that's exactly it. My parents did the best they could with what they knew. And I say, I won lottery, right? In one sense, because we have access to like technology that, you know, kings and they

9:13could have only dreamed of. I mean, let alone have our own, we all have, our most of us have our own palace, our own like sort of air conditioner, climate control of some sort. We have markets that we can go to and buy and absorb it in a amount of food. I'm just picturing like buckies and taxes, which I've never visited before. But at some point in time, I want to literally go to Texas just to go to a buckies. I'm, that is, that is the quintessential American dream is that we turn a gas station into a major tourist destination, I think, like how, how American is that, right? I know. It's the first, the first time I ever saw a buckies, I was like, heaven. Unlimited beef jerky. What? Right. Risket. And, and all the little kitschy things that you want to get, like the cowboy hats and little figurines and the signs and the post and all that. Oh, great stuff. It's awesome. Yeah, yeah. It is absolutely it is. So, so John, before, before coaching people, you had careers that, you know, most people wouldn't really connect together. So, so, so kind of walk us through that. Yeah.

10:13Well, I grew up in, in small town in British Columbia. So that's the westernmost province. It's above Washington, Washington state for, for your American listeners. And it is a bit more west coast and granola, munching tree hug and hippies, not exclusively. But there's, there's a fair bit of that there. But I went, I thought I was, I grew up in small town, thought I was going to be a chemistry teacher. I picked chemistry because I thought, well, physics is a little bit hard and biology is kind of too easy. So chemistry is a sweet spot. That'll give me a job, you know. I grew up with like just very basic dial up internet kind of idea. And so I thought that direction. So I moved to Vancouver Island, went to University of Victoria where I became a chemistry major. And I say there was more hot girls at this university than there were people in the town I grew up in. And I was kind of a little bit blown by this. So I was like, what, what about, what have I found here? You know, and so I became a nanotech researcher. I was a part of one of the original projects. It was, it was trying to make blue light emitting nanoparticles and sounds way cooler than actually isn't practice. But it was, it was developing the technology that would eventually become blue ray. So we were one group.

11:14Everyone was trying to make a blue light emitting laser back then. It was a cool concept. So, but I got, eventually got bored of being a lab all the time. And so on a whim, not really a whim. But kind of I decided to join the Navy and took up marine engineering. And so I spent six years being a Navy marine engineer. But then I decided that, well, I didn't really like the politics of the military. So I, there's things about the military that are good, but they own you, the own your time. And so it just, it just wasn't really for me. I'm probably too much of a free thinker. And so I now had a wife and, you know, she's from Australia. And it was like not great to really go on like 280 days a year with a young wife. So I was like, no, I need to do something different. So we decided to pack up all our stuff in the storage and just take off and start traveling the world on some adventure that we didn't know where it was going to take us. And I didn't know how life altering it was going to be. But it put me on the present trajectory that I'm on now. So. Wow. That's some story. So Australia, how did you guys meet?

12:15Well, she met some friends of mine in Vancouver way back in 2003. So again, this is a pre social media kids. There is a world without it. So, you know, I am a great beard. I've been around a while. And so she met some friends of mine that are like, hey, let's take you to Victoria. It is a beautiful city. You know, it's on on the coast of Macroo, Ireland. Like, let's take you there. And they called me up and were like, hey, we got this cute Aussie chick. You know, she was 19. I was 21 and she's there. Like, do you want to show her around? Because we're busy today. Yes. Of course I do. So I ditched my, ditched my university classes. Nice. I spent two days showing her around Victoria. And we really hit it off. But like it was clear, we had kind of a kind of instant kind of chemistry. But nothing really happened at that point in time. And, you know, she left and she went, took the ferry back to Vancouver. And she was going to carry on with her travel. Her sister was living in Mexico at the time. And so I thought I was never going to see her again. But she'd given me this note, said a gumtree note from Michelle and had her hot mail address on it kind of thing. And I remember saying to my friends, man, if I ever saw this girl again, there'd be magic.

13:16I said that without thinking I would ever see her again. Because I couldn't really conceive of this world that this actually happens. You know, but we started emailing back and forth. And we started using MSN messenger, you know, to chat with her. Oh, wow. And so while I was last in the past, oh, yeah. I was doing my nanotech research in between batches of nanoparticles. Because it sounds funny, but you like make batches of nanoparticles and test them to see if you've got the compounds you were looking for kind of thing. So in between that, I'd be on my computer in the lab. And messa Newer using this platform called ICQ. I don't even if it still exists or anything. But you know, that was where you can combine. No, sorry, I was using MSN, but we're using one called Trillian, which combined like ICQ. Yeah, I used to use that. Yeah, MSN. Oh, yeah. So we were, you know, and eventually we started talking on the phone and using like 7-11 phone cards, you know, like you have a connection for your no connection fees. You got to tell us how many minutes are we going to talk here? Because we're both like on a budget. And you know, her mom made this observation. She's like, you talked to her current boyfriend at the time. We talked to this guy for like 15 minutes.

14:16You end up in tears and then you talk to this guy in Canada for like three hours. And I just hear you laughing this whole time. Like, what are you doing with your life? Like get on a plane and go and see this guy. Because and so and she was stuck in a terrible relationship. He was like this, this emotionally abusive kind of guy. Like it was, it was not a good scene and and whatnot. So she flew back. So two and a half years after we met, she flew back to Canada. Well, remember kids, there was no social media. I hadn't seen a photo of this girl. And so she'd sent me like mailed me a high school like wallet size photo at one point in time. That was the only thing I was like. So I said to her, hey, you're flying into Vancouver airport in July. Like the one of the busiest airports in North America in July, which is like the busiest month for that airport. There's going to be thousands of people there. How am I going to even spot you? I don't even know. Like she's like, oh, where a colorful hat. You know, that helps. Yeah, I'm like, okay, sure. And I get there and the airport's abs, the course is absolutely packed.

15:19It's nuts. And you know, you come out of security and there's usually like this, this sort of barricade or barrier and you have to like walk down this barricade and then eventually find like whoever it is that you're looking for, right? And so the door is open and out comes this girl wearing a full on Tigger costume. Like head to tail, like full, full Tigger costume. You're kidding. Nope straight up. And of course, I knew instantly that it was her, but I didn't have the, I didn't think to wear something myself. Like, oh, I should have worn something that makes me stand out. No. So she's like, this guy better be here. I just flew like halfway around the world. I'm like a 20 hour flight to get to where a Tigger costume. Yeah. Yeah. Well, as you put that on after security, actually. So just after you clear customs, where you're supposed to like exit out of there, she's like, just give me a minute. You know, she's sitting there trying to get into this costume and whatever. And they're like, you get to do that in here. As she's like opening up her suitcase and all this, you know, because it was only like two years after, a couple of years after 9-11 kind of thing. And anyways, so she's like, no, just give me a minute. I just kind of, you know, and anyways. So she's thinking this guy better be here. And then at some point, I'm trying to wave through the crowd to get to her.

16:20And she's thinking, like, I hope he showed up. Because, you know, this was in Vancouver. I lived in another city, like a ferry ride away kind of thing. And some people stopped her, be like, hey, where are you wearing a Tigger costume? And I think. And so I managed to get to her. She turned around and then I was there. Arm's open. She jumped in my arms. Oh. Everybody started cheering. It was like a kisser and it was like this movie moment. Like people literally started cheering, they're clapping and cheering. Like, oh, Tigger, you know, found her man. Whatever. And it very much was this movie moment. And Tigger found her poop. Yeah. Well, fun thing. So she made this claim. She said, I was just coming back to Canada to find out if like there was something. I was, we were just going to be friends and I was just going to come and visit. Maybe do a travel on Canada, see you. That kind of thing. I tell that was just her own, like, made up story to like, maybe to make her feel these about flying half around the world to see this guy that she hadn't seen for two and a half years kind of thing. But underneath her Tigger costume, she was wearing a T-shirt with Winnie the Pooh on it that said, be my honey. So, you know, yeah, the way the HUN and Y, the way that that poo spells honey, right? So I was like, come on, you were just kidding yourself to, because and I get it, you're

17:24at that point, like a 20 year old girl flying half around the world. Again, pre-social media, you know, dating websites weren't really a thing. Like, you know, is this guy who he says he is and all this kind of stuff and so she was in her mind, sort of trying to make it. But, of course, you know, now here we are 20 years later, a couple kids. And yeah, it was still hopelessly in love. Ah, still in love. She's even like, she's the reason why I do what I do today. You know, she gets a lot of credit for it and we'll kind of lean into that story a little bit, I'll kind of explain what I mean by that later. But she really is the reason, you know, God obviously blessed us and brought us together for some reason. Like, it was very, the chances of us actually meeting are very random, you know, kind of thing. So, but it wasn't really random, I don't think. Well, you know, that's a, it, it, it's a great story and it just goes to show you that, like you said, she had, she was in a relationship with somebody else at that particular point. She was struggling on that relationship. She wasn't, it wasn't the right one for her. God already had you in place for her and the, and the obvious connection was there that

18:25was seen by a third party. I mean, that's, that's a beautiful story that really is. Well, I joke that like her, her ex boyfriend, like really like set me up to look amazing because all I had to be was like not an A-hole, right? Right. There you go. Like, that was the standard, like just, just actually be nice to her. And I looked like, I looked at like this incredible guy. I was like, you know, I kind of, in one sense, oh, not really, but like, oh, but dead a gratitude for being such a jerk that, that I didn't have to be incredible. I just had to be a nice, normal guy who, who like cared about her. Have to be you. Wow. Yeah, yeah. So, and, and just to, just to add a bit of color to the story. So prior to that, like I, I was, you know, raised Christian, but then I moved to the big city and I was trying to find my own self and identity and whatever. And previously, I had been dating this, this girl and family enough. So she'd had this boyfriend. I had had this girlfriend and we didn't tell each other about this. Neither of us told, told each other that we'd been in this relationship. And this girl that I was dating was Catholic and I'm not Catholic and that wouldn't have been well received in my faith. There's a whole other story there too at some point in time. But, um, so it was kind of this elicit relationship.

19:27But, uh, Catholic just meant she didn't believe in birth control. Um, and so it was not, it was not a godly relationship. I'll just put it that way. Yeah. And, but I remember at some point in time, I was at a house party. Um, this, this girl was from Mexico. Uh, we met in the Spanish language program because I was learning Spanish and, and I jokingly said, you know, I'd like to be paired with a hot girl and they actually took it seriously and paired me with this like hot girl from Mexico. And I was like, again, you know, um, you shouldn't do things like this people. Um, no, no, no. This is not an endorsement. This is not an endorsement. But so I remember I was like sitting here with this, this gorgeous girl, a man who would basically do anything I want in the bedroom. And, uh, I looked around this room, I, I'm 21 years old and the music's playing and we're drinking. There's a beautiful girl here. And I just said, this is it. This is the best it's ever going to get. And I still feel empty. Like, and at that point in time, I realized I had to do something different. Like, I went, I went down that road and I was like, why do I still feel empty? And so it took a couple of tries. I kind of broke up there a couple of times before I finally like putting that relationship

20:29away for good. And I said to God, I'm not like, I'm not dating again until the right one comes along. And it was the woman that's now my wife. So that's amazing. That is amazing. Yeah. And I was actually going to ask you about your testimonies because one of the things, whenever I have a guest who is a professing Christian on the show, I always like to ask testimonies. So, uh, so you want to take a couple of minutes here and give us your testimony? Yeah. I'll try to keep it in a nutshell because it's, it's, uh, so I was raised in a very small, um, I'll call it exclusivist or fundamentalist Christian group. Some people call us the two by two's. Um, I still remain, but maintain some degree of loose connection to it for a couple of different reasons, but, uh, typically family ties as well. Um, it was started back in like 1897 in Scotland. A Presbyterian minister decided he wanted to sort of go away from religious legalism and he thought he'd just go in this bike and start preaching the gospel in like little tent missions and things. And to be fair, there was another organization called Faith Mission already doing this. And he sort of branched out from it. And that was sort of the beginnings. What we now know is that this is sort of a two by two. Uh, the hallmark of it as the ministers are homeless, itinerant, they travel in pairs and

21:30they stay in the home of congregants. And like they established fields as a call it and they established like gospel missions and, uh, Sunday worship takes place in, in a home. And they're really trying to model what they did after like the New Testament Church and act, which I respect, right? I think that they did a pretty good job of that. Um, but like anything, when it becomes institutionalized, you always open the door to eventual corruption and drift. Of course. I mean, you look at the Old Testament, you see this happen with the children, Rizor Elm, their kings and things like that, like every, like, and, and so, uh, that, that's what I was raised in. And it's, uh, it's an exclusiveist organization, which in a sense, and maybe it's softening now. Um, but basically it was like, if you're not a part of us, you're going to hell kind of thing. That's what you mean by exclusiveist. Like, you could be a good Christian, but you're not saved or something like that. And, uh, but it, it, it, it sort of raises you with now I got to follow the rules because if one of the ministers like X communicates me for not following the rules, even though there are no rules because it's a totally spirit led organization. There's no rules written down or anything like that, but there are rules apparently. Um, and if you don't follow them, they could kick you out and if they kick you out, you could be going to hell because you're not a part of the one true way. And that, that's kind of how it, it functions.

22:33Now some people will call the cult. I don't really call it that. I would say it is probably like a high control, like religious organization, but some of like cults is not one charismatic leader. I think that's where I distinguish it. There are like overseers that's group like each region has like an overseer or senior minister and then there's, and then there's different ministers that go about and stuff like that. But it doesn't really, but I guess, and then we function society. We're not like the omniscient or something like that. Uh, I say we, I'm, I'm sort of loosely affiliated still. Um, but, uh, so, so that's that's your organization I was raised in. And that's kind of important because it, it's sort of also laid a bit of the foundation for me, um, for, for kind of what came later. Uh, but this idea that like salvation always felt a little bit, uh, would never felt secure because it was, it was always sort of hinging on. Well, it's, it's, you're saved by grace through Jesus, but if you drift out of the one tree way, you're not saved anymore. So, and it sounds like you're saved by what you do. Mm-hmm. And that's not true. That's really saved, or exactly. By grace.

23:34Now, it doesn't mean that obedience doesn't matter. Paul wrote, hey, uh, you know, we're saved by grace. Does this mean we should sin more? You know, God forbid, you know, kind of thing, right? But because true, true love and being born again produces obedience, but it's not, we don't, we don't, our faith isn't defined by obedience. So, obedience is byproduct of our faith. Exactly. Well put. Really well put. Yeah. So, um, but when I was, uh, when I was, uh, 29 and my wife and I were now traveling on the world, we ended up living in South Africa. And I'll keep the story a bit short just for the sake of time. Um, but we can, you know, maybe come back another episode if you want to talk more about it. Um, I was attacked by four guys and they tried to beat me to death. And these guys had murdered a guy the night before. Um, and we were working on our nature reserve in South Africa, working with underprivileged youth for non-government organization, helping them to be sort of prepared for employment in the real world because their public education system is atrocious and totally failing them all together. And so we love their work. But one day I was going back to instructors, Kevin, who was kind of tucked away in the bushes. And there was these, these four guys that were in there at ransacking the place.

24:35And I'm glad it was me that got what that walked back to cabinet, not my wife, because they, who knows what they would have done to her kind of thing. Because it was far enough away from the main building where everybody else was eating dinner and, you know, chatting and being noisy and all that kind of stuff. Nobody heard me screaming for help when these guys were trying to beat me to death, right? And it was really only by the power of God that I was saved, you know, in this situation. And it's one of those, you know, anyone who's ever faced like a very, like, you're faced to face with your mortality in that very moment. Uh, yeah, your life, like my life kind of does flash before my eyes. Like, yeah, time, time seems to slow down. I remember thinking like, I don't care about anything of ever accomplished in life. Like, I just want to see my wife again. I want to see my mom, my dad, my brother again. Like anything else that I thought mattered, it didn't matter. But the other part was I was like, if I die tonight, I think I might end up in hell. And that was this. So here I am at night alone in the dark screaming for help. Nobody's coming to save me and these guys are trying to beat me to death. And, you know, obviously, God somehow gave me the strength. I mean, it was concussed. I was bloody. They'd smashed me over the head with rocks and things like that. Like, it was just, it was, it was a brutal assault.

25:37And somehow he gave me the strength to sort of get my way back to my feet. Like, I'm a pretty big guy. I'm a pretty strong guy. And these guys are like, sort of, I'll just say skinny cracked out criminals. And I managed to sort of just at least physically like fight my way free from what they were doing. And, and, and stumbled my way back to this other building where everybody else was. And for some reason, they didn't follow me. They had knives. They hadn't managed to stab me yet. Like, there's all kinds of things that could have went wrong in that situation a lot worse than, than was, you know. I had a cut right underneath my eye, like in my eyelid here, which they, if, like, they're not close to blinding me in my eye. And I remember saying, like, I'd been attacked and like, never was freaking out because it's dark in South Africa. There's, there's packs of gangs that could be like 15 or 20 people out there. They're often carrying machetes and hack people to death. Like, you don't read about this in the news, but South Africa, gorgeous country, beautiful country with many, many good people. I always put that out there because I want people to know this isn't just, you know, people get hacked to death in machetes. There's beautiful people there. It's a beautiful country. It is absolutely ridden with violent crime, though.

26:39And it's an absolute tragedy. It's not just white people that suffer. I was attacked for being white. I don't hold it against people, but that, that was part of the case. And so, anyway, so we were, we were trapped in this building for about 45 minutes before the police showed up. And thankfully they did, but they didn't really care. They're just like, oh, no one died. No one got raped. Okay, cool. See, like, my wife was like, like, hell, you're leaving. And like, my husband asked me to get to a hospital. You guys have guns. We don't know how many are out there. They might still be out there. This is a nature reserve. Who knows where they are? They just disappeared like a few minutes because they saw the flashing lights. Like you don't leave until every one of us is off this property. Right. And we're all going back into the town kind of thing. And so I'll kind of put that story aside, just in the perspective of, you know, it was, it was brutal. The follow from that was like PTSD, binge eating, food addiction. I actually found it easier to forgive the guys who tried to kill me than to really kind of forgive myself for, for what I became after that. And that was one of the hardest parts of it was, you know, the whole process of forgiving them. I never saw them again, but it was about a year after it was just exhausted mentally, just tired of being angry all the time tired of just wanting to kill people.

27:47I never, I've never, never did. Not me. But, but, this is not the time and place for a confession, brother. Yeah. You know, when you've been violently traumatized, it's crazy. And I was in the military, but, you know, anyway, it's when you've been violently traumatized. It is crazy. The kinds of stuff that come into your head that, like, you know, and I realized like this isn't me. And yet I'm having these thoughts of wanting to do these things. And, and so that was, so because we stayed in South Africa for another four months. And when I was like, you know, plotting to set traps for the people who kept breaking into our house. So I could capture somebody and torture them. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we have to get out of here. Yeah. And, and I was like, so I was like on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Like you just, you just can't relax there. It's like living in prison all the time. You know, six foot walls with razor wire bars in the doors. And when, like, it's just, it sucks. And so, and everyone there is armed, but I didn't have a gun. And anyways, so we went back to Australia. Then going back to Turkey, where my brother lives, and then wound away kind of back to Canada.

28:47And now I had to kind of deal with a follow from myself. So that, that was a big part of that's how I ended up getting like obese and whatnot. And sort of going down the struggle of what happened to me. How do I lose this weight, all this kind of stuff? How did I lose myself and really like hating myself? So, wow, that's a, I was going to end up, I was going to follow up with that. And I was going to ask you, how did that change you? Oh, yeah. It's very dramatically. And on the surface, remember, I'm still a part of this, this religious group. And so I'm still trying to maintain like, you know, whatever I'm trying to serve God. I know that I'm saved some part of this group and blah, blah, blah. But on the inside, like I'm just tortured by anxiety, PTSD, depression, like just all over the place mentally, but still trying to maintain a brave face to whatever, you know, adopted the Jolly Fat Guy persona because I was trying to shield myself from the disc, you know, I was so ashamed of how I'd become obese and things like that. And I just, I imagine that people just must sneer at me and like think like, what a fat loser this guy is and stuff like, I was so cruel in my own head. And about 2017, I went to get some life insurance and

29:51they weighed me and they took my blood pressure and all this kind of stuff. And they were like, you end up, you have to pay more for insurance because you're more likely to die because of your state of health. And I was like, insurance is brutal, man. It is. I know I've been down the road myself. But you just run the numbers. And they're like, yeah, you're statistically more likely to die sooner because of your condition. And so you know, it was just devastating, right? And so and at that time, I was in business running nutrition and supplement store. It's not that I wasn't already good at what I do in terms of coaching. I got a very good brain for this. God gave it to me though. So I don't get the credit, right? But I do have a good brain for this. But I would, I, these just intense personal struggles and that just, that juxtaposition made things worse. Here I am actually a successful coach and health coach. The people came to for advice. You read the Google reviews. People came to see me. And yet here I am like, I'm like, why can't I sort my own mess out basically? So I ended up hiring this coach and I wanted to lose weight. Shout out to coach Scott. I don't know if you'll ever hear this, but anyways, he will if you send it to him.

30:51That's true. That's a good point. So he, you know, I was, I think I was trying to convince him that he would never succeed working with me because I was such a lost cause and a hopeless failure. I just, I just had to prove one more time that like there was no hope for me basically. And he was just, he modeled compassion in a way that I've never seen before. And I don't even know if the man's a Christian. I don't, I actually don't think he is. He's a very good man. Not the word save of being good men. But anyways, he modeled for me compassion like I'd never really seen before. And I needed to come from a man. If I'd come from a woman, I couldn't have received it. And ladies, that's not a knock on you. It's just where I was at in terms of how I feel about masculinity and manhood and things like that. And he made it safe for me to be vulnerable to have emotions, have feelings. Like it didn't diminish me in his eyes as a man. And that was really important. You know, men really do thrive on respect. I don't care what people say, we thrive on respect. It is essential. Because when men feel respected, we thrive and we do great things. You know?

31:52And so his compassion helped me to learn self compassion and start to understand that I'm not this horrible waste of skin that's that God is disgusted by because of my struggles. And so it's funny that he came into my life and modeled this for me. I don't even know if we have any conversations about faith, but he modeled one of the core tenets of the way that God works with us, the way that Jesus came. And that is his compassion. It doesn't mean it's enabling for our sin and our mistakes, but it was like I understand the struggle. Let me help you instead of your hopeless. I'm just here to mock you for your struggles kind of thing. And so that was so crucial for me because people say, well, how do you lose 100 pounds? I'm like, first off with great difficulty. Let's be clear. It's not easy to come back from being obese. But secondly, because there's a lot of mental baggage to it, it's not just about eat less move more. Do you wish? Wouldn't that be like, if that was the quick fix for me, I saw everything. Right. Yeah, the math and the math on paper looks really good. Now try to apply it to a real messy human, right? Exactly. And so that really transformed how I work with people as well.

32:54So instead of being like, you know, fitness macro supplements, I still use these tools, depending on the individual. But it was like, no, I have to see the human under it because I could create the greatest sounding plan in the world. I got a great scientific engineering brain kind of thing. But if I don't see the human underneath it, like the greatest plan in the world is worth nothing. It's less than worth. You know, it's, and so because it actually harms somebody in terms of their efforts to change because they just don't get discouraged and leaving. So that, that changed that for me and, and put me on the path to like what I'm doing now. And then my business failed. And my business partner was a brother in Christ, who is a so sue path and pathological liar, who, yeah, it cost me everything, cost me life savings, like everything I invest in the business and things like that. That was a, you know, and it's funny how these things play out. So what happened to me in South Africa, I was coasting on my intellect.

33:55And the message was, you're a smart guy, but you're a cerebral Christian. You haven't really yielded your heart to me. So you can talk good. You can quote script. You can sound like you know what you talk about, but you're hollow in the inside. You know, and so it's just funny. It's the same thing. Like back when I was 21, it was like, I feel hollow on the inside. And now it was, it was really revealed to me. And then this now, you put your faith in your intellect and your ability to run a business and to make money and do all of this. And now you've lost everything. You just have a mountain of debt, no job, no business, nothing. Now you have to go home to your wife and explain all this and like, how are you going to get through? I'd put my faith in again, my intellect, my ability to earn money, my ability to run a business, that kind of thing. And all of that was taken away. Now what are you going to do? And we survived. We got through. I saved off bankruptcy and things like that. But it helped me to remember like, where is my faith actually supposed to be? And that was a 2018 couple years for the pandemic, which would have crushed your business anyways.

34:56But I think it was necessary for it to happen with it was. And I also had to learn, how do I forgive someone who doesn't even have a conscience about what happened to me? Well, never even acknowledge wrongdoing. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I tried to convince, I will never see that money. I will never get any kind of restitution. And I don't need it at this point of time. But like, you know, so I had to learn forgiveness again. Like, what does it actually mean? It doesn't mean I want to be friends with them. It doesn't mean I want to go into business with them. It doesn't mean I meet the fellowship with them. It just means I've left it all to God and said, you know, you deal with that. And whatever the outcome is, you know it's hard. I don't. And so I don't even, I can't even judge right justly. I only have my opinion based on how I was hurt. And so you have all the facts. So I'm going to leave it to you, the righteous judge kind of thing. Wow, that's an amazing story, brother. And yes, you are going to have to come back on again. We'll talk more about this for sure, absolutely. But I can relate to a lot of the things that you said, because I went through a period just a few years ago where I pretty much lost everything.

35:56I mean, I lost the whole top of my family. I lost my wife. I had to rebuild from the ground up. And when I say I lost my wife, I don't mean she passed. I mean, we ended up getting divorced. And it was a very, very hard period to get through. And I'll be the first to admit it. I did not handle it the way I should have. I got very self-destructive and I started just, I just let my emotions take over everything. And I went through weight loss, but it wasn't good weight loss. Yeah, yeah. It went through stress. So I lost almost 80 something pounds because of all that. And so, yeah, brother, I get you. I understand exactly where you're coming from. It's tough. And you deal with, and what are also triggered for me, it brought back the PTSD. Because I had been diagnosed with PTSD since 2001.

37:01And I felt like I had it under control. Like I wasn't having episodes, I wasn't having issues. But when this happened, man, it just started downward spiral. And it was tough to get out of. Well, you know, when it comes to trauma, it's recorded in a timeless part of our brain. And I didn't have language for this. Like I didn't have language for trauma. What trauma? Like we didn't talk about this feelings and emotions and stuff like that. Like I love my parents. They're very dear to my heart. And they're aging and they're dealing with health issues. And I have to mentally prepare myself for the reality. They're in their late 70s with health issues. I don't get to have them for at least on this side of the grave forever. And so I do try to appreciate them as best I can. And they did the best I could of what they knew as well. But I just wasn't equipped with it either. Because I tend to remember not to put like a 21st century lens on people who were raised in like the mid 20th century kind of thing. It's not fair to do that. Of course not. Yeah. And so there's people who get very culturally arrogant.

38:04I just have like not a lot of time for that. Because I'm like, if you were raised in that era, you can't say you'd be smarter. Right? Because anyways, that's that's sidetracked there. So 2020 pandemic comes around. And that like stops us from meeting and fellowship and things like that. I know some people tried to buck the order, but it really shifted things. That actually helped me to understand something. And I think that's the else that like the institution of our faith isn't really central to salvation. And I say that we, you know, our organization had made two idols. They've made the idol of the actual, we meet in homes. We have this whole structure. And then we have this ministry who is two by two, itinerant, all these kinds of things. And those two things, we put that between us and God. So then we made them idols because anything that is between us and God becomes an idol. Like I must participate in this institution and be under the authority of this ministry in order to be saved. And I've made two idols. And so that the pandemic revealed the first part of it, which was the institution itself. And then three years later in 2023, there was what we call a now called brewery gate.

39:04There was a minister called Dean Brewer who was found dead in a hotel room at 64, died of a heart attack. His funeral, he was praised the gates of having kind of thing like a wonderful man who gave his life to God, preaching the gospel of a blah, blah, blah. Turns out he was a notorious serial sexual predator, probably to use that very hotel room for abusing victims and things like that. And it was, it was covered up and they tried to cover it up. The floodgates opened and just thousands and thousands of victims came forward. The magnitude of abuse on a per capita basis was worse than the Catholic church. Like it's shocking. And so that revealed the ministry to be very, very corrupt because when you're exclusive as the thing is when something bad happens like abuse, you have to protect the institution. And that's not what Christ would do. Christ went for the wounded in the ditch, like the parable of the good Samaritan, as we call it. And these people were not doing that. They were circling the wagons. They're protecting themselves, protecting the institution. And I think they believed so deeply in the exclusivity. They think they're actually doing the right thing. And that's wild to me. Like I wrote public letters. I wrote on my sub-stock.

40:05I wrote all kinds of things about this to try to see if, and the institution just would not change. So then it started me on kind of my own faith journey where I had to go hang on a sec. What do I actually believe? I need to really check myself. And it wasn't that I just checked out of being Christian. But I was like, I have inherited most of what I believe. And this is now time for me to sit down and start figuring out what do I actually believe. And so I did. I went on this whole journey of like figuring out what I believe. I wrote something called, I called it my personal faith constitution. I started writing a sub-stock. I discarded all inherited doctrine. Just went back to scripture and said, what does scripture show me? What do I read plainly and literally in scripture? And this is kind of what produced my present faith and kind of the journey that I'm on right now. I don't really belong to a particular church or denomination right now. I kind of, we have Bible studies as family. Like I said, I maintain a loose connection to the church because, let's say if I go back to Australia, my way is family goes, like I'm comfortable attending. I don't mind participating. I think there's many, many good sincere Christians who are probably saved.

41:07You've got to be themselves lacking confidence in it. I'm like, you know, that's the funny thing. But I had to feel like, like, what does it mean to be born again? You know, what does it mean to be saved? Why can't I say it? What does it mean to be saved by grace? You know, these kinds of things and really, and really figure this out for myself. So when I look back at the arc here, I think, and of course, I'm not unique. I mean, unique in one sense, but my story is not unique in many respects, right? This is why we share a testimony story because other people find parallels in their story and they find encouragement, right? Exactly. And so we're born, every one of us God gives us gifts. You know, I had, I had the, like we talk, I went to lottery. I was born in Canada. I was born to two parents who were still married to this day. So my family is together in a sense. And I was born into a Christian home. I was, and I was given a really good brain. I'm a smart guy. Again, so you get given these gifts to begin with. And then in the beginning, I didn't know I was a really smart kid relative to others. Like I was like, why does everybody get straight? Isn't it easy? Just like, take this and that's the test and it just comes out of my brain. Like isn't that normal? And it turns out it's not normal. But I didn't know that.

42:08So I was unaware in the beginning. But then you start to become aware of your gifts. It starts to be different. I kept winning like awards and medals and things like that. And I was like, okay, so then you start to get a little bit lifted up in terms of the gifts that you have. Or maybe I did anyway, you know, kind of thing. And then life humbles you. Right to the, I was just humbled right to the dirt. Basically, everything you think you had means nothing. Now, now what do you have kind of thing? And I was humbled multiple times. And so, and one thing I didn't mention was three years ago, I had a, a freak cycling accident that has left me with, I don't believe his permit. I still have a crippled hip three years later. I still walk with a limp. I still, I'm still going through athletic therapy. And, and I didn't realize it was going to be a three year journey of recovery. And so it is really, it's really, this itself has been humbling yet again. Because I built my story, being the guy who, like lost 120 pounds fit, active, all kinds of things like that. And then it all said bam, this freak accident happens to me. And now I'm crippling that walk with a limp and, and things like that. And so now I have to, but it's like everything that's happened to me has been a, of refining the very gifts that I've been given,

43:10while being put in the position to work with and mentor and guide and coach other people. It's like, you don't, your knowledge doesn't come from a textbook. And you know, the funny thing is in the age of AI, I didn't realize this is even more important. This human stuff. Because AI is disembodied intelligence. I think we should call it DI, disembodied intelligence, right? It, because it had, it doesn't know what the smell of flour is. It doesn't know what the color blue is. You know, yeah, I can read numbers on a screen, but it has no idea. It doesn't know what a hug feels like. That's right. It doesn't, it doesn't know what a tear on your cheek feels like. And so if we try to compete with AI on information, we lose. You're, you're trying to go up against a billion computers. Good luck. You can't win. But it can't, it will never be sentient. It will never be human. It is, it is a counterfeit. You know, it is a tool and can be used as a tool. But everything that's happened to me in my life. And I say this because I want to encourage other people too, who are also daunted by this. The things that make us uniquely human, the scars, the experiences, the live stuff. If you put it in the hands of God, you now have something that's worth more than money

44:14can ever buy. And so everything that I've been through, and again, I'm not unique in terms of going through hardship, but each hardship that I've been through, I just listed the kind of of the core experiences, right? The big, the big heavy hitters. But they all have equipped me. I now can enter in to the experience of other people. I know what it's like to lose everything. I know what it's like to nearly die. I know what it's like to be crippled by an injury. You know, I understand these different things. So now when someone comes to me for help, I'm not just being like, hey, eat this, donate that and exercise like this. Those just become tools. I say, I guess I'm called a health coach. Some people call me a life coach. I say I'm a human coach because at the end of, aren't we just, we're humans and we're struggling. And I'm not perfect. I always say, look, you'll hear me say as many times, I'm a guide by your side. I'm not a sage on the stage. I'm a struggling, flawed human who's been given a gifted brain and a whole bunch of hard experiences and then told me a steward of these gifts. One of the hardest things is I ran away from this for most of my life until, like, basically the failure of my business forced my hand and I had nothing else to do but to start doing

45:15this. And it was like it literally God was like, I am going to collapse everything around you until you finally do the thing that I have called you to do. And that's great because as you were talking about, you mentioned that, and a second Corinthians chapter one pops in my head, you know, God puts us in situations that we learn from those things so we can help other people. And I think that's exactly what it is for you. Absolutely. And so, and again, I say this to be an encouragement to others, it may not be that you're calling us to be a coach, a counselor, a therapist, these kinds of things. But we as human beings, we need human connection more than ever. I agree. Right? You know, some people can't afford a counselor, but if they have a good friend who's like, I can sit with you in this. I can be present. I can hear. I can witness. I can't lift your pain. But you know, someone told me a great story. And I'm going to get it wrong. But it's like, okay, a guy fell into a big hole that was taller than he was that he couldn't get out of. And, you know, maybe as a scientist walked by and he said, hey, here's the calculations you need to get out of the hole or whatever, but he didn't understand the science.

46:17And then a priest walked by and he's like, father, can you help me? And he's like, yeah, I'll say a prayer for you. And then walks away. And then his friend came along and jumped in the hole with me. He says, what are you doing? Now there's two of us stuck in the hole. And he's like, yeah, but I know the way out. That's the power. That's the power. That's the power of the good Samaritan just retold. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. That's exactly it, right? And he told it much more eloquently. But people are smart. They can kind of put two and two together. We are, we are, my they say, we're blessed with experiences that we would not think of as a blessing. Yeah. But I mean, my pursuit of, we didn't even get them psychology neuroscience. And that's totally okay. We don't need to today. We can, that can always be another topic too. My whole pursuit of these topics was trying to understand myself. It's like again, but you've been given, I have gifted you with this brain. What are you doing with it? I know I've gifted you with these hard experiences that have shaped you. They have shaped. And so now go and be a steward of what I have given you. But you've, I've been humbled so many times that that's why I tell people on the guide by your side. Like, I don't think I'm above a single person on this planet, you know, because we're all

47:21well, stand before Christ is equals. Right. And so it's a beautiful and liberating thing. And then I think like, I'm not independently wealthy, you know, I do, I do okay. I'm doing all right, you know, I don't have debts, which is really nice thing to say, because I've had a mountain of debt, you know, crushing me before. And so, but, but, you know, in the age where everything feels uncertain, and I don't even think my own career is necessarily certain, it's hard to say, right? We don't know what the future holds. But what I know is the one who guides my life. And isn't that what we need? Like, I would get so wrapped up in politics and this is happening, and this is happening and angry at this thing here. And I'm like, yeah, but I could no matter how much I showed about it, it's going to happen regardless. But the thing is we've been gifted with the word of God and we've been gifted with, we already know the ending. We already know who wins. And so the hardest thing for us is to come to terms with our own mortality that one day we're going to die at this natural life will come to an end. That is the only power these things have over us as we could kill you. And what did Jesus say? Don't be afraid of the people who can kill the body, but the one who can cast your body

48:22and soul into hell. Understand that. And so if we serve that, and it's not that God wants to, God is not willing to any would perish. God wants every one of us to be saved. He so loved the world of his senses only be God and son, right? Let's not forget that. This is the very God that holds for like the entire universe in our hand. He's not bound by this. And we are invited into relationship with him. You know, he sent his son so that we could have a relationship with him. It's available to all. Like, there's nothing that stops anybody from coming to a relationship with God other than what's like up in our own head. And so in this age, we have no reason, I say we have no reason to really be afraid because look, look at the God that we serve and look what he has done for us. And so why not why not go forward in faith and be a steward of the gifts he been given? And that's really what I feel like I've been called to do. And you're doing a great job at it. I mean, we haven't even get into into the neuroscience. We didn't get into into into neuro quit. We didn't get into any of that stuff. We only have like, we only have like 10 less than 10 minutes to go. Those are tools in the toolkit. That's the one thing I'll tell people.

49:22Like, they're tools in the toolkit. I love what I do. I've created these really kind of cool frameworks. But there are tools in the toolkit. You know, at the end of the day, like someone comes to me and I go, tell me your story, right? Tell me what's going on for you. Let me understand. And then let me tell you that I'm going to meet you with unconditional pause regard. Okay, this doesn't mean I'm going to say, hey, all the mistakes you're making are good for you, but it means I'm not here. So let's look at the woman caught in adultery. I love this example because under Jewish law, she was worthy of being stoned to death. And the people were ready to stoner, right? But what Jesus did, he went to her and he didn't say, hey, keep, keep sinning, but he basically, I'm paraphrasing, of course, so I want to choose my words carefully. But what I imagine, probably in some context took place was like, I know why you're doing this. You were trying to meet a need that you can't meet in a way that you'll never be able to. And that's why you're here right now. I didn't come to condemn you. I'm coming to save you. So he did say go and sin no more, but I imagine he also did something along as I will help you.

50:23And so even even an addiction, I can be the smartest guy with the smartest method and all these kinds of tools. The reality is we live in a world that puts a like pornography, video games, social media, junk food, alcohol, designer drugs, emotional, emotional anesthetics, like things that, hey, something is wrong if you feel anxious or fearful or whatever. It's like, no, it's not. It means you're a human being. Life involves these things. Now this isn't saying don't get professional help, but it's like, understand, we live in a world where there's powers against us. They're greater than us as individuals that can make us terrified if we stare those things. That's right. But remember, there is a power available to us. And I'm not into the prosperity gospel because I think, you know what, Jesus walked as a penniless minister. I'm not saying we have to be penniless and just wear rags and earn like that. But I just mean almost like wealth is impartial. Some people are blessed with it. Some people are not that it's not a magnitude of your favor with God. It doesn't measure of your favor with God. Amen. You bloom where you're planted. You know, I think about like, you know, Nigeria right now is undergoing tremendous persecution. I forget the numbers. I don't know if more than 70,000 Christians have been murdered for their faith.

51:24Like, I mean, there's this minister saying like, I'm not leaving because he's been offered asylum. And it's like, I've literally been called by God to preach the gospel here. What could I do but be here? And if they kill me, they kill me because he knows where his faith resides. That's right. You know, and yeah. Yeah. And that's a great testimony. It's a, it's, it's, it's exact. Like, I know somebody who was, who was called to be a missionary to, to Alaska. And, and one of the, one of the things that, that he always says, he goes, he said to me, I'm, I'm going to mess it up. I know it, but he said that when he was, when he was praying about where, and where in the world that the Lord wanted him to go and serve, God told him over and over and over again, I want you to go to Alaska. And since he's, and, and he said to me recently, he goes, and since I've been here, I haven't heard from him since. So, so, so this is, so in other words, in other words, you're where, you're where I want you to be, just do the job where, where I have you.

52:24And that's the same thing that what you talk about that, that, that this pastor on Nigeria is, that's where God called him to be. And no matter what you might humanly think, that's where you're supposed to be. And you can't, you won't, if you tried to walk away from something like that, I was like, I'll, I'll use myself as an example on this one. I served as an associate pastor of a church for, for a, for a, about a, almost about a year and a half or so. Um, yeah. No, I teach the Bible. I preach. I, I've, I've gone street preaching. Not my favorite thing to do, but I've done it. Um, uh, you know, uh, you know, I, I've served the Lord and, you know, when I went through, I got a little bit bitter. Yeah. You know, and, and, and of course, you know, then I started rattling off, well, you know, look, look, I did this, I did this, I did this, I did this, why are you doing this to me? I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not teaching anymore. I am not preaching anymore. I am not mentioning anything. I'll go to church. I'll sit in the back pew. I'm not going to get involved. I love you. Thank you for saving me.

53:24I appreciate that. But I will never, ever, ever, ever tell anyone about you. Yeah. And you know, with the Lord, you know, with the Lord did kind of patting me in the back of the head and said, that's nice, Joe. Here's what I want you to teach in your next week's Bible study and give, and gives me an outline. Now, now folks, please, please understand. I'm not saying I got actually physically spoke to me like that. Okay. Of course. But that's the, that's the impression that he put on you. You look, okay, that's, look, look at Elijah who did, who did great things. And he's like, I'm the only one with any faith. Like, just let me go and die. Yeah. Jeremiah. Yeah. Here's some food. You're hungry. Yeah. I know I'm oversimplifying something spiritual, right? No, of course. He gave him tremendous strength to go and do things and he did that, you know, great work. And, you know, it's, and, and, you know, I want to imagine one thing because I was, I was chatting with someone who is kind of a Christian, maybe a little bit of a universalist sort of not quite sure where they totally land. And I'm not a universalist. Like, you know, Christianity itself is exclusive.

54:26It is inclusive yet exclusive, right? Because if you don't, if we are saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, it's not that hard in one sense. But a lot of people like Jesus is my life coach. They don't like Jesus as my Lord. Right. And, and so it's fantastic. I, it's funny. I made a, I made a song using Suno. I think that I'm like, it's kind of a funny way to use, yeah, and some people might call it sacrilege. But anyways, I use this AI tool called Suno to make music, right? Yeah, I'm from the world. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I make silly little songs like, you know, I have a two-year-old who, who like poops on the bathroom floor without telling us, tried to clean it up, stepped in it, wiped, smeared toilet paper, like, and it is. So I made a little brown footprint. And it, you know, like that to me feels like an appropriate use of an AI tool because no country music artist is ever going to make that song, right? And so, and I'm not skilled enough to do that. So I made this funny little song called Little Brown Footprint and that the key line is like his older brother coming up and announcing he touched the poo, you know? And it's like life with kids. Right?

55:27You know, we get all serious. We get all existential and then my kid comes on the poops on the bathroom floor and smears it and then walks to the house and we have no idea where his dirty little hands and feet have been. His older brother announcing that he touched the poo and I was just like, you know, like God, God bless us with kids and gay and it's a man's career. That's a hysterical. Oh, man. Yeah, the stuff, the stuff that kids, like, oh, kids are such a blessing. And I often say like, like, if I didn't know him, how much I would love my kids and how much I would love having kids. I would, I would have tried to have at least a half a dozen more. And you know, and I think as a father, I get the blessing of understanding just in a small measure, God, the father is a father. That's right. He loves his kids. It's like when my kid screws up, I don't slap him and tell him to get outside the house. I go, let's figure this out. You know, I understand when my kid freaks out as a meltdown. It doesn't mean I love it. Like, I've had to have some stern words when he tried to choke out his brother. I'm like, you can't do that, you know? Right. At the same time, I'm not going to kick him out of the house.

56:27I'm going to say, let's, hey, like, you were frustrated. I get it. That wasn't the right thing to do. Let's figure out another way. Like, yes, your brother was frustrating and you finally couldn't contain it anymore. And that was your first one. Yeah. You know, I do the same. I do something similar with my son. My son is, he's, my son is 26. And, you know, he'll call me from time to time and he'll say, Dad, I don't know what to do about this. What do I do? What do I do? And, you know, I know that I would love to be able to solve every problem for him. You know, I would love to be able to do that, but I know I can't. So what I, my approach with it is, is I tell him and, uh, and I know he's listening. So, um, I tell him that very simple. So this is the trick. All right, Matt. So I'm not going to solve the, I'm not going to, I'm not going to solve the problem for you. But I'll point you in the best direction and help you along the way with it. Yeah. You know, and it so far, it's so far so good. It's been working, you know, and I think that's how the Lord deals with it too. Yeah.

57:27The Lord can fix every problem for us like that. Nothing. Not even, not even a, not even a little beat of sweat on the brow. He can take care of every problem, but you're not going to learn from it. And he wants us to learn. It's the difference between like buying an Olympic gold medal at a pawn shop and going through the years of training to finally stand on the podium. Very good. Right. And, and what, what do we cherish more? Right. And so the point I'm mentioning soon was I also made a song and it was really just for me, but it's called a man under Christ. And I'm a sub-starch. I'll be writing a six part series on Godly authority because I think after going through like seeing a but abusive authority in church institutions and things like that, everyone wants to chuck the baby out of the bathwater and be like authority bad. No, I as a man as a husband, as a father, as a son. I am given a place of authority. And people misunderstand that. I'm like, no, you don't get it. If somebody kicks down the door, who's the guy going to the door? Who's the person laying down their life for his wife and kids? It's me. Right. All of a sudden, like, and I love my wife. My wife loves me. We got a great working partnership.

58:29But I tell you, that's what's happening. And she's not a feminist anyways. You know, but it's like, feminism is right right on the door when the door gets kicked down. And I really hope to God. It never happens, of course, because. I'm a bit too. But, but you know, like that's the reality of it. So there's a, but in order for me to not abuse my authority, I too must be submitted to Christ. Like, so we are, we are called as men to do two key things. One is to submit our lives to Christ, right? We bow down before Christ. We make him our Lord. That is the only way that we can righteously yield the authority and responsibility we have been given. Because I've watched people grab the title of like pastor, whatever, and be like, I'm the man of the house or I'm the father, I'm the pastor. What? Okay. But is your life yielded to God, right? So you need to be a man under Christ. First of all, you can righteously yield the authority and responsibility that you've been given. It's absolutely crucial that we recognize that. I agree with you. Well, John, we got to start wrapping this thing up, man. Absolutely. And I'm going to, I'm going to get you booked really quick. We're going to get into the actual reason for the show tonight.

59:31But last, last two questions for you. Who is somebody that you respect and what are they doing or what have they done that inspires you? Hmm. That's a good question. Well, I'm going to say coach Scott, coach Scott quick. And I respect him. G. Because he, he changed the trajectory of my life just by how he worked with me. He is responsible for the work that I'm doing today, even if, you know, obviously God had a hand in everything as well, but like God had a hand in putting him in my path. And so it is the way that he can document himself when I was in like the deepest of despair. And it's just a testament to who he is as a human being. And so I'm just, I'm deeply grateful for him or to him for that. Amen. Outstanding. Yeah. Outstanding. All right, John. So where can folks go to find out more about you and about your works, sir? Well, substack is where I write my, my Christian stuff called wrestling with truth. And you can find my, my professional work on freedom nutrition coach.com. I mentioned the neuro quit method. The website isn't live yet at the time of recording.

1:00:32But it will be. So you remember the domain and you'll be able to find information about that as well. Outstanding. All right, John, we're going to put you backstage. I'm going to wrap this thing up and I'll touch base with you there in a second. Folks, make sure you head over to his website, check out the substack. John McLean and thank you so much for bringing him brother. God bless you. I really appreciate the time we spent. Thank you. All right, I'll see you backstage in a second. All right. Well, folks up against the clock here. So we're going to go right into our shout outs. Shout outs, of course, to our producing team. Executive producers Wayne Rankin, Rosanna Rankin, Carolina Himinesse, Angel Libetuski, and John Seely. Thank you guys so much for all that you do and supporting this show. We really couldn't do a lot of the stuff that we do without your help and your support. So really appreciate that. And folks just so you know, these, these folks that I just mentioned donate their time, their talent, their treasure. We call it the three T's, time, talent and treasure. And we work off what we call the value for value model. So what that simply means is that if you are receiving anything of value from the content that we're putting out, all we're asking is that you return that value in the form of

1:01:34a donation. And again, the three T's your time, your talent, your treasure. That's what these folks do. Some of them donate their treasure, some of them donate their time and their talent. And it's greatly appreciated. And that's how we get these things done. So if you're interested in finding out more about how you can help out the show, just head over to the website joe ruse.com slash support. You will see all of the different ways to do it from one time donations and any amount, recurring donations, any amount, or if you want to sign up as a producer of the show, you have our associate producer level is 1776 a month. Our producer level is 1836 a month. And our executive producer level is $25 a month. All the producers get the shout out on every show, get included in all of our show notes. And you get to have an IMDB credit listed for your name, which is an official credit, you can actually put on your resume if you want to, or if you're not afraid to or ashamed to say that you're supporting a show like this. So you can, that's something that we provide to you guys for as a thank you for your support. We really do appreciate it.

1:02:36Also executive producers, now this is, this is the real challenge. Executive producers get to come on the show and spend an hour with us. So far out of all the executive producers, only one has the guts to do it. And that's Wayne. That's why it's our Wednesdays with Wayne segment where we talk about prepping, home setting, and all of that great stuff. So check it out. Maybe you like to help us out and we'd love to have you on board. So plenty of ways to do it. So ruse.com slash support. That's joe ruse.com slash support. All right. Well, I think that should just about do it for us for tonight. So folks, please don't forget, head over to the website joe ruse.com. Joe ruse.com. Check out the context section. Send us a message. Email us at info at joe ruse.com. Really looked forward to seeing you. And again, thanks to John and thanks to you guys for being here with us tonight. All right. That's it. I'm done. I'm tired. Folks, make Texas independent again. Go podcasting.

1:03:37Keep a steady stride. More importantly, keep talking. We will see you next time. Good night, folks.