Wear the Scary Thing

0:00Welcome to Ferra Fireside, where feminine leadership gets rewritten. I'm your host, Dr. Cory Blake, nervous system educator experienced business strategist and founder of the Ferra Collective, helping women lead from pleasure instead of pressure. Every week we gather here by the fire for a quick potent hit of truth, strategy and primal wisdom. If you're ready to lead without burning out, to trust your body as deeply as your brain, and build a life and business that feel like freedom, you're in the right place. Here at the Ferra Collective, we blend grounded science with primal wisdom, feminine energetics with strategic leadership and rebellious self-care practices that actually move the needle in your business, your body and your life. This is the feminine leadership revolution. Let's dive in. Hey there love, so welcome. Today we

1:02are going to be diving into becoming a version of you that's a little bit scary. It's funny how how safe we get in what is our like day-to-day experience and stepping outside of that, especially with anything that we actually really want, how unsafe and terrifying that can actually feel. It's exceedingly, it's really scary to think about I live in my life in this way, right? Like I exist in my household this way. I exist in my business or my place of work in a certain way. I have certain behaviors, I show up in certain clothes, I respond in typical ways, right? And anytime that we think about

2:05varying from that, it's really normal for us to experience some fear, right? Because anytime we step outside the confines of what has become our normal, there's always this space around, but I've created safety in some way in the world that I live in right now. And me taking a moment to step outside that and to stretch and expand means I'm entering into a different energetic that I don't really know what's going to happen there, right? Am I going to be more visible? Are people going to react to me in a different way in a negative way? Are they going to react to me in a positive way? I don't know. And the potential for the negative reaction is a thing that can make us just get smaller and smaller and smaller. And that typically is what happens as we go through our teenage years,

3:05our twenties is starting to learn like, okay, in order to experience this, this is how I need to behave. And in the truth is that that's it's really quite bullshit, right? And it's totally understandable how we get there. I got there. It's very, very common. And so the question is, how okay are you with mediocre as in, if you are in a space where you have noticed that you are smaller, that you are not as loud as you might have been, or where things just feel a little bit flat, how do you decide when it's worth the risk, right? And so the key is really, do you have a desire for more? Do you have a desire for things to be a little bit

4:08more exciting or to feel more connected to what lights you up to feel more alive? And if you have a desire to feel more alive, to feel more excitement, then it's becoming, it's really stepping into, okay, how do I start to explore that? How do I tune into what is my authenticity versus where I'm performing or behaving a certain way? How do I start to notice the somatic signs, the signs in my body, where my body gets actually excited, where my body feels expansive? How do I notice those moments where there's a hint of, oh, okay, there's some spark of energy within me that my body physically is called towards a particular action, a particular object, right? Like I see flowers and I'm in a flower shop

5:14and there's a sea of them in front of me and I hone in on this one particular flower because my body sees the color and reacts, my energy shifts around that, okay, versus if I came in said I want to have something pink and I'm focused just on the pink, I'm in my mind trying to decide which one's the least expensive or the most expensive or whatever my thing is, right? And I'm not present in the moment to what I physically responds to, that's actually a skill, okay? And so being able to start to kind of stretch into that and to notice, when we walk by a shop window and there's an outfit that just like screams like, oh my god, that's crazy, I would be terrified to wear that at the same time, like that would be so fun.

6:15How do you get to that place of finding that edge, okay? And so I want to be really, really clear in that everyone has a different edge, everyone has a different thing that feels scary, that feels like it's being too big or too bold or like it's going to focus too much attention on you. And so the question is really for you, what is that thing? For me, the first thing that really gave me that pause is putting, like this was year to go, but putting like feather hair extensions in my hair, okay? I saw these incredible hair extensions, I was in New York City doing a class and I met this woman who had these incredible hair extensions from Bali and I just adored them and I talked to her about it,

7:22found the website, ordered them, and then they sat on my dresser for like three months while I looked at them. And finally, I decided, okay, I'm going to do this, I'm going to put them in my hair and I put them in my hair and I distinctly remember the feeling of being about to walk out the front door and noticing how hard my heart was pounding and like I had this lump in my throat. And there's a mirror like right next to my front door, right? So I'm like standing there wondering is this like ridiculous like what do I do here? And so I went out into the world and I did the thing and what's really interesting is I was terrified and that day I got the most compliments I had gotten that I could have have remembered. There was something about me being able to lean into

8:27my my truth, the thing that lit me up, even though I was scared in that moment, but simply representing that part of myself that was channeling my life force, my soul energy, whatever you want to call it, that authenticity of who I am, I was able to connect with people, I would never have connected with because I was in my truth and I was taking that chance in being a little vulnerable. So inviting you in this moment to allow yourself to channel that version of you, that depth in your soul, that whatever it is that actually brings you closer to your own life force, given you the invitation and the permission to lean into that, because you get to do that, you deserve it.

9:34All right, my friends, I'll see you next week. Thank you for joining me at the fire today. If this conversation sparked something in you, make sure you're subscribed so you never miss an episode. And if you want to take this work deeper, join us inside the Ferric Collective, where we turn these insides into embodied leadership, real strategy and lives that feel like freedom. So you can lead from ground to power, not from burnout. Until next week, take exquisite care of your energy and keep leaning like the badass you are.