Vlad the Impaler

This medieval bad boy earned his nickname by impaling his opps, often bootyhole first. In addition to all the impaling, he boiled his detractors alive, set beggars on fire, and nailed turbans to the heads of those who refused to remove them in his company. Also, just want to add this because I forgot to mention it during the podcast, but Vlad dined amongst the impaled. Bummed I forgot this because eating mozzarella sticks surrounded by enemies with poles up their butts has always been a dream of mine.

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Aug. 21: Dallas

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