VICTORY! Build confidence to live your purpose with Philip Brittain

0:00Hey Mark. Hey Katie. Hey you want to do a podcast? Yeah. Sweet okay. Welcome to the Unforget Yourself Show where we use the power of blue and the proof of science to help you identify your blind spots and get over your own bullshit so that you can do the fucking thing you actually want to do. Absolutely. I'm Mark. And I'm Katie. And we're the founders of Unforget Yourself and the creators of the Unforget Yourself system. Look, being a business owner is tough with vulnerability and with humour, we'll be sharing with you the real stories behind the success of those brave and crazy enough to start their own business and to show you that you're not alone. Not from the accidental entrepreneur to the laser-focused CEO. We have honest conversations about how they get to where they are today. We talk about the challenges that they faced and what they're currently dealing with in real time on the roller coaster. Along the way, we want to show you that it's you. You are the most important asset in your business. Yeah you are. So let's cut the bullshit and

1:02start the show. Enjoy. Okay, hello everyone and welcome to the show. Now, just a quick interruption to a normally scheduled episode. If you wish, more people knew you, trusted you, and actually reached out wanting to work with you. This is for you. Most experts and coaches try to post more, shout louder or chase attention. But the truth is, clients don't come from content. Clients come from real connections. And that's why we built the profitable podcast system. We'll help you create your own simple relationship-driven podcast that brings the right people into your world, builds trust fast, and turns amazing conversations into clients, content, and opportunities. And all, without you becoming a marketer or an influencer. So you don't need a big audience. You just need the right people hearing your voice, feeling your energy, and thinking, okay, I get you. I trust you. I want to work with you. So if you want a proven way that actually grows your business,

2:05not just your to-do list, head over to profitablepodcast.com and we'll show you how this will work for you. And now, onto your scheduled podcast episode. So today we have this, Philip Written, a speaker and mentor who helps Christian business leaders build unshakable confidence so they can step fully into their purpose. Through his victory framework, Philip teaches, trains, and encourages entrepreneurs to do the deep, heart-level work that creates lasting real confidence in their calling. Now, Philip's journey of leaning into faith-driven leadership demonstrates how inner transformation can shape a business-owness impact far beyond strategy alone, and who are pouring into his mastermind community and drawing strength from the support of his family and mentors. He continues to champion leaders who want to honor their purpose with clarity and courage. Philip, welcome to the show. Thanks, Mark. Glad to be here. Pleasure to have you here. Thank you so, so much. So to kick

3:10us off, can you expand the touch more on where you are today with your business and tell about those people that you'd love to work with? Yeah, I love working with Christian entrepreneurs, business owners, leaders, CEOs, upper management. Anybody who's just struggling in business, you already have a faith background and you're trying to figure out why you can't seem to do the things you know. You know what to do. You know how to do it, but you can't seem to figure out how to get to that next step. What's holding you back? And a lot of times that's rooted somewhere in a lack of confidence. And so that's what I help discover, help identify, remove things like confidence killers. So that is, that's my purpose. I want to help you step into your calling. Well, that, that place you describe, that can be such a crazy, scary place to be. You know exactly what to do and how to do it. You just can't do it. So tell me about the,

4:16what are those trigger moments, those, the events, the situations that are the reason why they reach out to you and say, Philip, can you help me? Well, I can start with my own, my own personal struggle in that because I struggled for years and years and years with confidence. I had an idea of who I was and what I was supposed to do, but like so many other Christian entrepreneurs, I had this idea. I had this thing. I want to go here. I want to go do this. I knew what to do. And I kind of had an idea of why to do it. I just couldn't get my butt up off the couch to do the work to get the success that I knew I needed. I couldn't figure out why I was stuck for so long and finally came to a moment where clarity came and confidence arrived through a lot of trial and pain and out of 15, 20 plus years

5:20of trial and struggle and building confidence in different areas. The victory framework was born. And now, although I've been helping a lot of people over the years in various pieces, it's like, you know, okay, this piece over here and this piece over here and this piece over here and help this person over here, but to bring it all together into one piece, now there's real clarity and focus and I'm able to help a lot better, quicker, more intentional, more specific, able to identify specific areas and how they're interrelated. Okay, so you needed the clarity to pull these together so that you could serve at a higher level to help your people gain that clarity, gain that confidence. So it's almost like you had to go first, you had to experience this with all its blessings and dramas and so much happening.

6:22Which is every entrepreneur. So we all have to go through that crucible, right? Yeah. What are your clients looking for? I mean, we can say confidence and clarity. Now, those can be just buzzwords. It means something different to a lot of different people. So just to sort of unpack that, what they're struggling, they can't do it. How do you help them find that clarity? What's been missing that's made this mysterious for them? It's different for everybody and yet the core is the inner work. It's the heart level stuff and being able to connect what you think up here and what you feel down here. And when you make that connection, Orrin Woodward calls it aligning the ant and the elephant. Based out of Vince Pacenny's book, The Ant and the Elephant, there was a study that was done

7:24by a university. I think it was back in the 60s. I forget the date, but they studied neurons. In a second of conscious thought, your brain fires 2000 neurons. But in that same second of subconscious thought, you're firing 4 billion neurons. The difference between an ant and an elephant. And if you're subconscious, inner talk and all the trial and trauma and stuff of your past, your inner dialogue, your subconscious is charging in one direction as an elephant. But your conscious ant is saying, no, I want to go over here. I want to go do this. I really want to go do that, right? What's that? There's only one winner and that one. Exactly. So if the ant is walking one way on the elephant's back, but the elephant is charging in the wrong direction, the elephant wins every time. So how do you go in then and fix the subconscious,

8:26which starts at the heart? It all starts at the heart level. Inner victories before outer victories. You always have to fix the inside before you see results on the outside. Philip, you're on the unforgettable self show. Unforget yourself. Remember you oftentimes entrepreneurs, we forget about ourselves. We look for the external because that'll fix the problem. It doesn't quite do that. So I love that we're talking about the inner journey. Yes, there are other things. You'll come up a back on episode where we spoke about the holistic. You still need good nutrition. You still need to move your body. You still need to connect with people. But past this is, it is about the inner game. So I love that we're going to focus on this specifically with you. So a bit of story from myself. When I first started Unforget yourself with Katie, I didn't just want to regurgitate tools, tactics, principles that every other mindset coach was going down. For me, it was important to have our own method. We

9:28created the Unforget yourself system. Three cycles and nine steps that every human being goes through. We mapped out the whole human experience. It's bulletproof. It's beautiful. But that for me was maybe I needed that to have confidence to say this is different. It's not just regurgitating. You as well, from your experience, bringing all the tools, tactics, life experiences, situations together, you produce your own framework. So tell me more about your framework and actually how this how this works. The victory framework is really a lifetime of lessons. And most of them learned the hard way through struggle and trial and failure after failure after failure on my own part, right? But I began my leadership journey about 15 years ago back in 2011. And I started to learn why and how all these lessons were actually affecting me

10:31and the failures that I went through. And so the victory framework in order to build true, unshakable, foundational confidence, it starts with vision. You're not going to do anything until you know where you're going. If you don't have a target to aim at, you're going to hit it with amazing accuracy. If you don't know where you're going, you're already there. You have to know what it is you want. Where are you going? What does it look like? What does it feel like? What does it smell like? Get all your senses involved. Learn how to, you know, write out your perfect day and dream about it. Think about it. Determine what it is that you want that pie in the sky dream to look like. Where it is you want to go? What is the type of person 20 years from now that 20 years from now you're going to look back and say, I wish I'd had done this today. What does that look like? Who is that person? What are their habits? What are they think about? What are they dream about? What are you? What does that person do that you're not

11:36doing today? You have to start with a vision. Begin with the end in mind. Put the big rocks first. Start with why? There's been a ton of books written on it. World class athletes, they practice this vision closing your eyes and thinking about every turn on the slopes or every hit, every basket, every shot. Vision is so fundamental. If you don't have a vision, if you don't know where you're going, the Bible says, without a vision, my people perish. You have to start with that because that produces hope. If you don't have hope, you're dying. You have to start with that vision. You have to figure out where you're going. Then, identity. I is the identity. You have to know who you are. You have to figure out who it is you want to be. If you're not that person, who do you want

12:38to be? Again, it's going back to that 20 years from now, 30 years, 50 years from now. Who is it that you want to be? There's an idea of what the dash. You're born on this date. There's a dash and you die on this date. That's what's on your tombstone. What's in between? What's the dash? What do you want your life to be like? Who are you supposed to be? Who are you supposed to influence? Who are you supposed to help to guide, to bring up, to rise up, to encourage? What kind of person are you going to be? Who has God called you to be? What's the gap between who you are then and who you are now? V is vision, I as identity, C is character. Because those two things are only the first foundation. You have to then build character because real confidence comes from character. If you don't have good character, if you're going around lying, cheating, stealing,

13:44you're not going to walk into anything with solid confidence. These are your values, what you live up to. They're your guiding light for who you are. It allows you to make decisions so much easier because this is the blueprint. When you know your purpose, when you know your identity, all other decisions are easy because you have your core, you have your foundation and everything else just builds on that. Having good character is just that next step and along with character, building trust. First off, building trust in yourself. That's paramounts. Most people have no confidence because they don't trust themselves because they don't have an identity because they don't have a vision. Each step builds on the next. Building trust with yourself, learning how

14:46to trust yourself, putting together small wins, for instance, with regard to character and trust and how they intersect. If I say, I'm going to get up at seven o'clock in the morning, I set my alarm for seven o'clock in the morning. It goes off. I have two choices. I'm going to either hit snooze, one, two, three, four times, or I'm going to turn off the alarm. I'm going to get up and I'm going to start my day. If I choose to hit snooze, my trust and my character take a hit right there. The rest of the day is shot because my character took a downfall right there. But you flip that around. I get up. I turn the alarm off. Now my character, my trust level with myself, my subconscious now says, oh, okay, I can trust you. Hey, me in the mirror, I can now trust you. Let's go put another win on the table. Let's build on that trust. Let's improve your character. Let's work on this. So that's the first part of trust. The second part is learning and building

15:50trust with others. Learning how to trust others, especially if you've been hurt in the past. Someone has broken your trust. It's hard to learn how to trust others again. So that is a major piece as well. But then the primary, number one, learning how to trust God. It's so paramount, so foundational to having real confidence. Because even if I can't trust myself yet, but I know I can trust God, I'm going to work like it depends on me. And I'm going to pray like it depends on God, because both are required. Close add to that, because that's the easiest and the hardest thing to do. It is the easiest thing to let go and trust that your higher power has your back. Everything is happening for your greater good to trust that's it's the easiest thing to do, but also it is the hardest

16:53sometimes. So there is a very real contradiction. It's so hard in the moment. When you're just trying to keep your head above water and it feels like the flood is coming and you're done for, that is the hardest moment to trust God. But when you know he's come through before, or you know that he's come through before for somebody else, even if you haven't experienced that, or we've all experienced it, whether we know it or not. Realizing that it happens is a big first step for a lot of people. Understanding that there are things that happen, that have protected you, that have kept you from harm, that you don't even know God's hand of protection on you, or has given you the skills, the experience, the understanding

17:56that you've needed to be able to help you. We have some horrible things happen to us. Absolutely. You make a decision. I mean, you will finish this framework, but then for you yourself, you've been through this. You've needed the kick up the bum. You've needed the experience, which is, again, it's up to us to reframe things. And I think reframes is without being all like polyanacindram and everything's amazing. No, no, things can be horrendous, but there can be gifts in there. There can be lessons. Absolutely. Thanks for letting me explain on that. I think that's a nice contradiction. Thank you. Yeah, learning how to reframe is a big piece of this throughout the process. So we've gone through the V is vision, I is identity, C is character, T is trust, trust yourself, trust others, trust God, right? Then you come to the O, and this is the hardest, longest process of them all, because it's operate. As in open heart surgery, you have to rip that

19:00open and deal with the heart issues that are causing your heart not to pump properly. It's it's shutting things down because you haven't learned how to forgive. You haven't learned how to deal with the trauma and the pain of the past. You haven't dealt with things. And instead, you let them fester and they attack and they erode your confidence at a subconscious level and you don't even realize it. Pete Scazero in one of his books, emotionally healthy leadership. I don't remember if it was that one or another one. I read a couple of his books, but there there was a quote in one of those books that hit me so hard several years back when I was going through stuff. You said the inability to grieve well is the beginning of all addiction. The inability to grieve well is the beginning of all addiction. You think about that for

20:07a second and I go back to my own life and I think, man, so, so right on, we have to learn how to grieve. We have to learn how to deal with the loss, the pain, the trauma, the unfair things that happened to us, the, the garbage in our lives. Yeah, stuffing it down and avoiding it doesn't help. Imagine that. What? Drinking away the pain doesn't help. Yeah, but one thing, again, to caveat on what you said that I've said this a number of times recently, but with Michael Singer, I'm reading his untested soul. And one thing he says is with with these, if it's stuff down with pain, if it's entered your body with pain, it's going to be released with pain. So the pain that you felt when you stuffed it down, you're going to experience that. So when you release this, be prepared, it will come out with this, but we have to let this go. So that, I think, was a, for me, a nice clarifier, these things I've stuffed down. It's not just, oh,

21:09release it. It's fine. You're going to feel that, but it needs it to come out. That's something Oh, absolutely. I think, especially as men, right? We have a hard time. You know, men don't cry. We're tough, you know, no one able to you mean, right? All that is a bunch of garbage. No, we're human beings. Pain hurts. And sometimes the pain that we feel as men, and we carry it around with us almost, we almost have this this arrogant, prideful, I've got pain. You know, it's like we're proud of our pain somehow, but it's, it's destroying our confidence. It's eroding our ability to function and be present with our family, with our kids. It hurts. It is painful. It takes its toll. But instead, we want to go and numb it with things that are bad for us. All kinds of addictions and self-medication, right?

22:12You've mentioned both sides of it. You are either avoid it and numb it or you're a martyr and really magnify it. There's there's the polarity. We need to find that place in the middle where we don't magnify it. We don't exaggerate it. Don't treat like a badge of honor, but also we don't avoid it. I love these two parallels. We have to, especially as men, we have to learn how to go and ugly cry ourselves to sleep sometimes, right? I mean, we have to go cry in the pillow. We have to go yell and scream and shake our fist at God and say, why? We have to learn how to feel all of that pain so that we can heal from it. But we can't do that if we're numbing it with alcohol and other addictions. It's not healthy and it's destroying our confidence. It's one of the three big, what I call

23:13the confidence killers. Dealing with the, oh, the operate, dealing with the hard stuff, there's three big things that you have to take care of. One is addiction. You have to get that under control. Sometimes that takes some professional help and we, especially as men, need to be willing to say, hey, I need help and seek it out. Sometimes it's just finding another guy saying, hey, dude, I'm struggling. I need help. Can you just be another man in my life to support me? Sometimes that's all it takes. But sometimes it's deeper than that and you need to go seek professional help and there's a place for that and it's okay and it's not a bad thing. Sometimes we need that. That the other is unrepentant sin. As a Bible believe in Christian, if you haven't been able to tell already, my faith is a massive piece of who I am. Christ is my savior and unrepentant sin

24:21destroys your confidence, period. It is the number one in my book that you have to deal with. And then of course, self-talk because we're all our own worst critic. We have to get the self-talk under control. We have to quit listening to ourselves and we have to start talking to ourselves. If that makes sense, quit listening to the negative and start speaking the positive. Turn down the volume on the negative. Turn up the volume on the positive. You have to combat that in your own mind if you're going to have any kind of confidence. And this is where some of the neuro-linguistic programming comes in and look yourself in the mirror and say your affirmations with feeling and motion and there's a place for that. But if you don't get the core vision, identity,

25:25character, trust, operating on all the past, if you don't get those core things fixed, all of that NLP and Band-Aid mindset hacks are only going to last for a short time. They're great for a short time and they're good, but they don't last if you don't have the core. Because you don't believe it. You're saying something you true to your core don't believe. Exactly. Exactly. So the O-operate, the confidence killers, R is relationships. You have to learn how to build solid relationships and that's where that the character and the trust come in, right? Building solid relationships, getting around a better association. It's common knowledge now that the research has proven. You are the average of the five people you hang around with.

26:25Pick a category, finances, marriage, parenting skills, attitude, whatever it is, you are that average. So you need to find better association in your life. But you also have to learn how to build and foster those good relationships. Get people around you that are going to encourage you and uplift you and support you and champion your cause. And you have to learn how to distance yourself from the negative people in your life. The people that are telling you, you can't, you're no good. You'll never succeed at that. It's too big a problem. You're, you know, all the negative stuff that people say for your protection, oftentimes family, because they love you so much and they care. They don't want you to don't get hurt. Be careful of that. Well, are you sure you want to spend that much on that thing? Aren't you scared? And yet they have no problem when you go do a whole bunch of

27:26other things that aren't going to feed your purpose. So learning how to build and foster good relationships, how to distance yourself from the negative relationships is huge. That does so much for your confidence. And this is a piece I had to learn the hard way growing up because in school, all of my association was negative. I was the kid in school that everybody hated. To tell you a quick story, my second or third day of second grade, this is going to get super personal, but I showed up to school. My parents were working 16 hour days. They were gone before we got up and they didn't come home until five or six o'clock at night. I was the oldest of four kids. It was my responsibility to help the other kids. My parents didn't know to tell us a lot of things. There's a lot of things I had to learn the hard way. One of those things was learning what

28:28to do after I went the bed at night. I knew that I had to change my clothes, but I didn't understand that I needed to bathe. So I went to school with clean clothes, but my body reaked of urine. And I remember walking in, sitting down at my desk, and I had just happened to be at the middle desk in the classroom. And it felt like Moses parting the red seat. They just kind of spread. And they had to call my dad who came and picked me up, took me home, got me a bath, took me back to school. And from that day on, I was known as stanky. I was the kid running for my life every day after school. My confidence at that point was shot. I didn't know who I was. I had no identity. I had no vision for the future. I'd forget character, forget trust. I didn't trust anybody. The only thing I could trust that was I was going to get beat up. So all through high school, and it, God began to show up in some different moments

29:34to help build my trust, to help build my confidence, to give me an identity, to help me trust in him, to help change some things and the way people viewed me. And he gave me all these different things. I could probably go on for two or three different podcasts, telling you so many different stories. But the way God showed up in so many of those moments helped me build each of these pieces from being eight years old and having no confidence in anyone, not knowing who I was, running for my life, scared little kid, to now today, having a massive influence in people's lives. It's humbling. And you know, this is where you really feel the pain of the past and all the

30:35things that have transpired to bring you to a moment. And all you can do is say, thank God, because he's good. And I'm not. I'm not all that. I'm just another guy who's learned a bunch of stuff and I can help a bunch of people because I've learned a bunch of stuff. But I'm just like anybody else. I've gone through a lot of hurt. I've gone through a lot of pain. I figured some stuff out. So that's the R. Moving on to the Y. Just say yes. Say yes to opportunity. We'll build your confidence. Once you have all of these other things in place, learning how to say yes to opportunities that feed your passion, that send you toward your purpose, saying yes to every opportunity isn't necessarily a good thing because you can get lost in the weeds really quick and never serve your purpose and never actually influence or help people in the

31:38process. Learning how to say yes and building on that one win at a time. One win at a time. Say yes, another win, another win, just like building character and trust. One win at a time. It tells you're subconscious. I can do this. I'm getting better. You have to be willing to be bad long enough to get good. We're always going to be bad to stop it. That's the first time you do anything. You're terrible. That's just life, right? So you have to be willing to step out and be bad so that you can get good and start stacking win after win after win. But when you say yes to opportunity, you have to do the work. You have to be prepared so that you're competent in that yes. So that you can make sure that when you say yes, you can fulfill that yes and be successful in

32:38that yes. But then also you have to learn when to say no. And that saying no is actually required. You have to learn how to say no. It's a good thing, especially learning how to say no to things that don't feed your purpose. Go ahead. That's what I like about this framework. So this really everything builds on each other. So say yes to opportunities that feed your passion, how's your passion? Well, you know your character, you know your vision. So this is a proven process to go through, which is what I would like about this. You can't just build relationships. You need the previous steps. So I mean, for those people who you've laid out beautifully, it makes complete sense. For those people that want some maybe help and support to walk through this with you to have that guidance, the accountability, the vision for themselves or for those people who want to have you share with their community to speak on their stage to guide people through this to help more people. Philip, how can people get in touch to you? How can they reach out? You can find me

33:44at PhilipBritain.com if you want to hire me to come speak at your event. I want victory.com is where you can find workshops and the community aspect and some of the courses that I offer. And then of course, I'm on social media all over the place, the PhilipBritain or PhilipBritain and a lot of them are linked. So those are all ways you can find me. Well, fantastic. Well, we've done very deep on this framework and I think it was fantastic. There was some amazing principles, some great advice. We might have to do a part two sometimes to dig into behind the scenes of you as a business owner, but I think this was just full of value. So, Philip, thank you so so much for showing up, for sharing from the hearts. It's been an awful lot of fun. Thank you. Yeah, thank you, Mark. I would love to do a part two. There's so much. It really gets so deep. I mean, this is like a 12 month course and cramming it into a half an hour

34:46or whatever. It's a lot. It's really, really deep because it is deep. It's not just something that happens overnight. It takes work. It takes time. It takes effort. Beautiful. If you're looking for that, reach out and start the conversation. Say, Mark, send you and have fun doing it. But again, Philip, thank you so, so much. It's been a pleasure. Really, thank you. Thank you, Mark. Appreciate it. You're welcome. Hey, Katie. Yeah, Mark. Want to do an outro? I sure do. Sweet. Hey, thank you so, so much for listening and making it to the end. Yay, you. So, what happens next? We ask them the things that podcast we're supposed to ask at the end of an episode. Can you please rate, review, download? Subscribe. Yeah. But why is it important? Because that's how our podcast gets noticed. Some people find us. It is. And we want all their earballs. All the earballs, all over place. We do. Nice. Yeah. So please do all those things.

35:51We'll be ever so grateful. And then more people here. You're a beautiful voice. Or yours. Oh, yeah. See you next time. Bye.