Vault: Is She Making A Mistake By Proposing To Her Boyfriend?

0:00Hi Kimberly. Hi. Hi. How are you today? I am doing great. You are ready to get engaged. Yes I am. Congratulations. She's taking matters into her own hands. Well I go ahead but I have friends that did a similar thing and are still married and very successful. That's great. I mean you know it's interesting because he had said before that he wasn't the marrying type and you know the whole like oh you know a piece of paper just a piece of paper you know if you're together you're together but I really feel I mean with 100% certainty that he's going to say yes. I mean he's the love of my life and he's terrific and I'm really excited. Now how long have you been going out? Probably almost a year and four months. I'm still pretty early. Yeah. Well you know I think it really depends because I know like my parents were... They knew each other for two months before they got married and they've been together for 26 years.

1:01Okay. So you know I mean I think that you know it really depends on the couple. Definitely. And one of the biggest factors that really made me think that this was not just a fantasy but could actually happen was he moved... he's originally from Connecticut and he moved out here like I said a little over a year ago and we started to date and after about nine months his job called him back. To move back and I thought you know I've been in long distance relationship before like when I was in college and didn't work out well. And I told myself I was like you know what if things are going really strong still after six months this is something I said to myself I didn't say it to him. I said you know what if after six months of being long distance in a part and it's still going strong I'm going to ask him and it's been great. And you're that sure he's going to say yes you're that sure he's going to be as excited as you are. I am positive. Well it's big excitement like I don't know if he's like a scream and jump up and down like a girl would.

2:07I think he's definitely going to say yes. I mean if this is going to be in front of his whole family too. Now that is the part that I'm nervous about. There's a lot of parts I'm nervous about. I mean I'm not I'm not you know I'm not such a traditionalist obviously that I don't agree with you proposing to him. However doing it in front of his family that my understanding is you've never met. No we've I've talked to his mom many many times and like his sister on the telephone but we've never actually met in person. So he's been out here to see me a few times but he invited me this year to go to his family's house. So and why wouldn't you just wait for him to ask you? Well like I said I mean he'd always said that it was just a piece of paper that it didn't matter to him. But I think what my my thinking is and I'm I feel you know like I said really really strongly that he's going to say yes. Is that he'll realize that it's important to me and to my family.

3:07Like I just don't want to I don't want to just move in with him and I I really love this guy. I'm willing to like move halfway you know across the country you know to be with this guy. And if I'm going to do that I don't want it to be just because he's my boyfriend you know I want definitely more of a commitment. And it's when you were talking about like meeting his family on Christmas Eve I'm actually going to talk to his dad and ask his permission. If you know how he feels about it. So you're going like traditional roles just flip-flopped. Yeah yeah a little flip-flop. So are you going to propose with a ring? Actually yeah you know it's funny because when I was shopping I hadn't ever heard this term before but they called it a mangagement. Mangagement. That's really funny it's a funny term but it's it's a really beautiful like titanium band so it doesn't. It could just be like a regular decorative ring too like I don't know if you'd want that for his wedding ring.

4:07But I definitely wanted to get him something that was you know masculine and strong and represented what I felt was the strength of our relationship. Hold on one second here. Good morning Melissa you're on Q100. Hey guys I love your show. Thank you. I wanted to tell the caller that it's really not too early. I had a lot of my friends tell me those too early but it wasn't. We met April 2008 and we were married June 13th this year. Wow that was real fast. See here it's not the timing of it that scares me a little bit. It's the statement that and I would have to see it or hear it for myself. His take on marriage sounds very different than yours. His take is it's just a piece of paper. I don't need that to be with you for the rest of my life. Now I don't know how strongly he believes in that or not. There are guys that will absolutely under no circumstance around the world Susie was dating a guy for a long time. That absolutely this was part of his world. That if you want to be with me I can love you forever.

5:10We can have children but as far as marriage goes that's just not for me. And it sounds to me like he's telling you like it's just a piece of paper. That's it doesn't mean anything to me. Well that's why like I said I mean he every step of our relationship he's been really supportive. He's like he's not one of those guys who's like afraid to talk about his feelings. You know and I know he loves me and I'm really really thinking that when he realizes that how important it is to me. But if it is just a piece of paper it won't be that big a deal. I mean I don't care about prenups or any of that you know like I come from a really good family. So I don't need you know like money or any of that stuff that has nothing to do with it. So I think that's why most men are afraid of getting married is they're so worried. There's just enough gray area here to make me think you certainly shouldn't be a public proposal and it shouldn't be in front of this family. Well it should never be a public proposal in front of the family that you meet for the first time man or woman.

6:13But I think that to me though it's like a more creative ultimatum because I mean my only other suggestion is that if you don't feel comfortable moving and living with him as a girlfriend. Then the other option is you're going to have to give him the ultimatum either I am married to you or I don't go. Well I mean that sounds pretty harsh but I guess it's true because I don't want to do that. I mean he moved out here for work we met here so this is you know this is my life and it's when he's here with me it's fine because I have my family I have my friends I have you know my career I have all of that. But if I move you know back east where I don't know anybody he's I'm sure he's going to understand you know because we've talked about this you know about me moving. I'm a pharmaceutical rep so I can pretty much like work anywhere. But he works I won't say what company he works for but he works for a very big company and he has a you know a lifetime career ahead of him with this company.

7:18I can move around from company to company it's not that big a deal. But I don't want to give up my friends life now like the whole life that I've had you know just to go be some girlfriend. But not that you know I enjoy my relationship with them but I definitely want to take it another step. Kimberly let me put you on hold for a second because a whole bunch of people want to give you their opinion on it. It's not a problem. It's about split right now about half people saying no way it's just the wrong place wrong times just not right and the other saying just absolutely go for it why not. Seriously 50-50? Is that what our audience is? 50 if it's a homie's 50 if it's a shocker.