Transforming Limiting Beliefs: The 5 Primary Drivers - James Swanwick

0:00What we believe affects our thoughts and our thoughts affect our feelings and our feelings affect our behaviors and our behaviors affect our outcomes and results. I am James Swanek, welcome to the show. I am walking through the streets on the way to the gym and I thought I would just record a podcast so you'll hear some traffic in the background, some birds possibly. Join me on this gentle stroll as we talk about beliefs and thoughts and feelings and actions and outcomes. But it all starts with beliefs, all starts with our belief and if we have a limiting belief that will drive a limiting thought which will drive a limiting feeling which will drive limiting actions which will drive limiting results. But if we believe and we have an empowering belief I should say an empowering and positive belief than that affects or drives I should say positive thoughts which drives positive feelings which drives positive actions

1:04which drive positive results. The five primary drivers I was talking about this on a Legends group coaching call just yesterday. Legends is the name of one of our programs here at Alcohol Free Lifestyle. These are for folks who started through our community more than a year ago. So most folks who join us here join our community go through our group coaching exercise using neuroscience in a program called Project 90 which is 90 days to rewire your mindset around alcohol. We use neuroscience-based coaching for now certified coaches on a group call. And then people will then once they get to 90 days will move on to beyond 90 where they'll learn more about personal development and conscious communication and help the coaches in nutrition and then ultimately move on to Legends where you qualify if you are indeed one year alcohol free at that

2:08point. And so I was on a group coaching call yesterday. We had about 23, 24 members or a year alcohol free all learning growth mindset and we were talking about these five primary drivers the principle of the five primary drivers and the five primary drivers state simply the following what we believe determines what we think and what we think determines our feelings and how we feel determines our actions and our actions over time become our habits and our habits determine the quality and ultimate outcome of our life and our destiny. Friend of mine David Bayer actually talks about these five primary drivers and has come in and spoken to our community at times and he says that we often run around talking about free will and how we have choices in our lives and he says that this simply isn't true. He says that you, me and everyone else all act according to an operating system that works in a very

3:12consistent and predictable way. We all operate according to these five primary drivers and most of our beliefs are simply conclusion excuse me most of our beliefs are simply conclusions we came to based on experiences we had early on in life. Perhaps we witnessed our parents struggling to earn income and we came to the conclusion that money was hard to come by. Perhaps our parents were critical of us and we concluded we needed to be perfect to be loved. Perhaps children at school who were themselves insecure picked on us and we therefore concluded that we weren't good enough. Too young to know that we believed that what we believed would determine the lens through which we looked at life and so many of us adopted beliefs that were not only untrue but incredibly disempowering. Now as we've become more self aware especially through removing

4:15alcohol releasing alcohol from our lives and giving that clarity and focus to be able to take a good look at our cells and we've been able to gain tremendous insight through that process and certainly our members have gone through that process here at Alcohol Free Lifestyle through our Project 90 beyond 90 and Legends programs. Many of our limiting beliefs have become clearer for us. However many others are still present and they create undesired feelings and outcomes in our life. So here's the thing here's the bumper sticker change your belief change your feelings change your action change your life. The answer is very straightforward wherever you are feeling stuck you have a limiting belief where I feel stuck I have a limiting belief in fact I have had limiting beliefs circulating in my mind these past couple of weeks been going through a challenge and I've been shocked at how quickly that limiting belief has

5:22infiltrated my mind and circulated and had me therefore feel let's say disempowering thoughts and feelings and ultimately taken not great actions and therefore not gotten great outcomes. So my challenge has been to replace those limiting beliefs with an empowering belief instead of saying I can't do this changing it to how can I do this instead of saying this is too hard I say I get to do this how do I make this as simple as possible and so if we're saying this is too hard that is a limiting belief right it starts with the belief that this is hard there might be work it might be a conversation and see how we're starting that process with the limiting belief this is going to be hard this is going to be awkward this is going to be challenging and then that affects our

6:25thoughts so we have these negative thoughts like I don't know this is not going to go well I wonder what this person is going to say I wonder how this person is going to react and then that creates negative feelings which is oh I don't feel good I feel anxious I feel stressed I feel nervous and then the actions might be we procrastinate on having that conversation or we're timid when we actually have the conversation or take the action and then there are consequences of that the outcome then presents itself which is less than desirable however if we in this example change it from this is going to be hard to this is part of the process this is not hard this is just part of the process or wow the outcome of this could be amazing I let go of it doesn't have to be perfect you just have to be done just keep moving forward let's go and we have a belief like you know what whatever happens it's all working out of

7:27my favor and we start with that belief or some version of that belief and our thoughts become okay I'm okay I'm safe let's move forward with this conversation let's move forward with this action okay I can do that I'm feeling a little bit better even though I'm a little shaky like at least compared to when I was saying oh this is going to be hard now I've got a feeling of like okay I can do this all right then that drives our behavior which is we maybe don't procrastinate or we have the conversation sooner or we show up less timid and with more authority and more conviction and then the outcome I would submit would be very different more be more favorable see how it starts with the belief starts with the belief and the only way to destroy a limiting belief is to see the limiting belief is untrue I say it again the way to

8:35destroy a limiting belief is to see the belief is untrue or another way to say this to see that belief is a lie so just think for a moment what are your limiting beliefs oh my I'm not gonna be able to get out of this everything has to be perfect I'm never gonna get through this challenging now just as an exercise challenge that belief challenge it it's not true okay it's a lie that is a lie all right so if it's a lie what would be the new belief the new belief would be okay there's nothing bad happening there's nothing hard happening there's just stuff happening okay this is part of the process get through this work through this is beauty on the other side awesome I'm gonna feel so good when I do this I'm gonna feel so much better when I accomplish

9:37this let's just keep moving forward okay great now we've got different thoughts we have different feelings and now that drives different behaviors and then ultimately we'll give us better outcomes this is a lot of what we talk about in project 90 which is that program I was telling you about that we have you to alcohol free lifestyle which supports people to finally release alcohol after years of trying and not being able to and by the way if at any stage you'd like to talk to someone on my team about that just have a private conversation you can always text Kai on my team I'll give you his number if you get your phone out or a pen and you can text him and just say interested or text him your name or just whatever you want you can just say I just heard James talking on the beliefs podcast episode and he'll text you back and give you a call at a convenient time and just walk you through our programs and community and support and how we might be able to support you so Kai's number is 361 321

10:397764 so if you're struggling with alcohol or you worry about a friend or family member who is we do have programs and expert coaches who can help and yeah Kai will be able to help you out there that number one more time is 361 3217764 so yeah a lot of people who come through and join us they jump on a call with Kai or they they fill out a form on our website and we ultimately have a conversation with them a lot of folks who are coming to us with alcohol challenges have limiting beliefs and it's our job as professionals to be able to rework those limiting beliefs for you so you're empowered to take action and finally release alcohol even though you've tried many many times without being able to or feeling stuck and you may have previously tried for example a a rehab or an app and you've done dry January maybe you're waiting for

11:43January to come so you can try it so you can do that again say oh I'll deal with that later and you're still feeling stuck you're still feeling stuck well a lot of that is because I would submit you likely have limiting beliefs around your alcohol it's like I'm no good I'm addicted or I tried this before nothing works but they're limiting beliefs and so if you can now replace that limiting belief with an empowering belief or first of all you can see that limiting belief is untrue as a lie then and then replace it with an empowering belief it's like you know with support with the right support and following a system and a process and a plan and with accountability and community and expert coaches I can do this well now that gives you a different thought it gives you

12:45a different feeling and now you may ultimately take action and get the support that you've been craving if you're a daily drinker in your 40s or 50s or 60s and you're still functioning and you've already tried AA you may have tried therapy or other approaches without lasting success if you're not physically dependent you know you're not physically dependent on alcohol and your career and your life is still largely intact career and life is still largely intact but your marriage is under strain you're increasingly aware that your children or even now grandchildren are watching and if you're frightened that your marriage could end and quietly you may even worry that your drinking might

13:46even kill you or at least have you experienced many health challenges and consequences and you desire to save time because you're a busy business owner entrepreneur and executive and you want to sort this out now before you lose something or someone important and you need the reassurance that everything is going to be okay then I would submit that you have had or you've been experiencing limiting beliefs it's okay we've all we all experienced them I was referencing some limiting beliefs that infiltrated my mind in this past couple of weeks and if that person I just described is you and you're like that's me that's me that's me you're the person that we can help we can help you by shattering your limiting beliefs replacing them with empowering beliefs and then holding you accountable with structure and a system and a like-minded community of other

14:49people just like you here's the thing you have probably already proven that you could stop drinking the problem is staying stopped so you have a belief that I can quit and I can fit on my own this is another version of limiting belief I should say it may be you know I've already stopped so I can stop I don't need support but the reality is you haven't stayed stopped and so maybe you have a limiting belief that you'll always be stopped stop stop stop and if you've done the meetings at an AA meeting you know that is not for you and you've tried the apps and you've completed dry January or promised your wife or your husband at this time will be different you probably don't need more willpower you don't need more willpower simply need a method that holds when the willpower runs out you need a method that holds when the willpower runs out I reference project

15:5690 it's 90 days without alcohol with a coach or with coaches who have done it and it's designed for people who's drinking has not cost them everything yet not yet not yet we've helped thousands of folks just like you to rewire their limiting beliefs to release alcohol change their mindset around alcohol from my need alcohol alcohol helps me which is a limiting belief to I have power over alcohol I help myself without it I have the most fun without alcohol have the most joy the most peace the most calm peace peace calm calm clarity clarity despite the irony of me walking next to possibly the busiest road that I could walk next to as I'm recording this episode for you so our work here is to help you reframe your limiting beliefs or destroy your limiting beliefs or help you see your limiting beliefs as alive now there are

16:58three primary triggers that prompts most people to come and join us here and either text sky or go to alcoholfreelife.com and schedule speak with this and the three primary triggers are these one a specific event forces action now it could be an incident that you've had in your life a bad weekend an argument an embarrassing moment or some other wake up call that makes you realize that something needs to change okay so that's the first primary trigger a specific event something happens second one is you're searching for a solution you're out there searching at a moment of crisis you're not just casually browsing then you're out there like you've had an incident this is like I've got to do something I have to do I must take action the third thing is a partner pushes our clients or issues and our ultimatum to them so where a partner has pushed someone to

18:04a call with us people really take action because most of this work is in service of relationships the most important relationships in your life it's not mostly I just got to stop drinking it's mostly I've got to stop drinking all my wife's gonna leave me and my husband gonna leave me I'm being a bad part of you know I'm gonna I'm not being a great role model but the dominant trigger is crisis and you may have already tried the free and obvious options maybe you're you're a veteran of conventional solutions like you tried AA therapy apps try January moderation or simply promising yourself and your family that you're gonna stop so it's not why becoming alcohol free is worth trying it's why this is different from what you've already tried and if you're listening to me now and you're still on this call then or on this

19:12episode I should say then you've probably arrived here after the obvious solutions you tried the obvious solutions the app and the right January etc. and it's failed to produce lasting change but your partner a husband your wife a son a daughter whoever it is is playing a significant role in creating urgency for you right now two thirds of the folks who engage our services and our healthy lifestyle raise their marriage we get I'm sorry when we speak with prospective members on calls two thirds raise their marriage unprompted and about 15% were explicitly sent via spouse and let me describe the drinking profile of most people who join us about 60% of folks who join us drinking every day about

20:14a quarter maybe 22 23% are hiding their drinking or drinking secretly and about 20% have been warned by a doctor that their alcohol use is causing major health problems so to be clear most folks who come to us are not people in physical dependence and you're probably listening to me now you found yourself here you're not in physical dependence but you're probably a daily drinker and your life still works maybe you've got your job intact your marriage you're straining though and your children are watching maybe there's no medical major medical crisis yet but you're increasing worried about where this is heading half the people who come to us have tried or tell us at least they've tried AA or 12th their approach maybe 40% of tried therapy 25% of tried inpatient rehab

21:1720% of tried moderation and again folks who come to us and this may be you you might be about to come to us you're not looking for information you're arriving here you're listening to me or having already tried and failed with the traditional obvious options and so one of the reasons why I'm talking about the leaps and thoughts and feelings and actions and outcomes is because this is a very different approach than what you've already tried so rather than me going on and on and on saying here's why you should stop drinking I'd rather give you a process give you a glimpse into the process here of how we've been supporting people since 2015 thousands of people now and the strongest emotional concerns the prospects

22:19at alcohol philosophy love cell volunteer are their marriage you know it's such a huge issue feel marriage is under strain this is a non-traditional way that will support you in saving your marriage improving your marriage nearly half of our clients raise concerns involving their children and about 25% raise the possibility of dying early so if you are someone who needs to sort this out before you lose something or someone who you love and you've already demonstrated that you can stop temporarily but the problem is staying stocked and you don't necessarily need convincing that alcohol is a problem you just need to believe that this is different from what you've already tried and that this can actually work for someone like you and you don't want to wait until your life falls apart and you desire to protect your marriage and your relationship

23:21and your health and your future and that everything can still be okay if you deal with this now then I invite you to reach out to us and we can support we can support you to rewire and rethink your limiting beliefs so just a reminder if you'd like to text Kai that might be the quickest way for you to reach us now he can get you on a quick call 15-20 minutes but i'll be nothing to sell you on that call it's just an introductory conversation just to see where you're at and give you a little bit of information you can ask a few questions and then if it feels like we might be able to support you i'm sorry that was a very lazy support you that was a very Aussie slang lazy Aussie crafts way of saying support you then we can get you onto a conversation with one of our top coaches and we can walk you through the process okay so if that's you text text Kai again that number is 361 321 7764 and just to go over

24:24what we talked about here again the five primary drivers remember what we believe the term is what we think and what we think the term is our feelings and how we feel determines our actions and our actions become our habits and our habits determine the quality and ultimate outcome of our life for another way to say that is limiting or empowering belief affects whether we have a limiting or empowering thought which affects whether we have a limiting or empowering feeling which affects whether we have a limiting or empowering action which affects whether we have a limiting or empowering outcome see limiting belief as a lie change it around create an empowering the leaf which will turn into an empowering thought which will turn into empowering Feeling which will turn into empowering Action, which will turn into an empowering outcome a little bit of music there as we finish here Thank you so much for listening. I am James Swanick. I will catch you on the next one