The Idea That Ends Most Arguments Before They Start (Whole-O-Graphic Vision) - E201

0:00We're experiencing a carefully curated version of reality that's been approved for our existing beliefs. That's typically what we're doing. And that's not holographic vision, that's what we call tunnel vision. Have you noticed that the world that we live in has been doing most of the thinking for you? That your beliefs, perceptions, reactions, fears and doubts have been shaped by unsolicited outside noise? How easy it's been for you to slip into that default sleep walking mode and label it as life and reality. Yeah, that ends here. Welcome to the Make Sense with Dr. J.C. Podcast. This is your opportunity to start thinking for yourself, reclaim control and step back into that role as the shot caller and dominant force of your own reality. It's when you change the way that you look at things that the things that you look at begin to change. So let's wake up, let's rise up and let's make sense of why and how shift happens.

1:01Make sense. So this is holographic vision. Let's get into it. It starts like this. Somebody doesn't text you back. And that's it. That's all that actually happened. Somebody didn't text you back. You sent a text and I don't know, like maybe like six hours later, there's no response. But isn't it amazing what can happen inside the human mind during those six hours that you were waiting? Maybe they're mad at me, think. Maybe I said something wrong. Maybe they're avoiding me. Maybe they don't respect me. You know, we go through and we build this whole story. And before that person that you sent that text to, even had an opportunity, because remember, they have a life as well, even had an opportunity to pick up their phone to see that you've written a text to them. You went ahead in those six hours and written, produced, directed, and starred in an entire psychological Netflix thriller series. You've made up a whole story. And here's the crazy part.

2:02We can become emotionally affected by something that hasn't actually even happened. And what happens is, is your mood changes, you get anxious, maybe even angry, and you start preparing what you're going to do. Even though they're not responding, you're starting to prepare, you're saying, well, what am I going to say if they finally respond after all of this? And this is just an example of a text. And then what comes? I'm so sorry, my phone died, just saw this. And you say, Hmm, great morning humans, great morning world. Welcome to another edition of the Make Sense with Dr. JC Dornick podcast. Welcome to the uprising of the sleepwalking masses. We're going to be talking about a tool that I created in my Make Sense book. That's Make Sense, how to rewire your mind and transform your life. And I call this tool, the strategy, holographic vision. So that's whole, like the whole, oh, graphic vision, made it up completely.

3:04And I made it up because I believe one of the greatest sources of unnecessary suffering, conflict, broken relationships, and bad decisions is not what actually happens to us. And you can see that I'm taking this same approach with my cancer. The unnecessary suffering has very, very little to do with what's actually happening to me, or happening to us. And it is the speed with which we decide what is that is happening and what the happening means, the meaning that we give it. We see one piece of something, we see just one slice of something, and we make that piece the entire whole of the story. We base our story just on one piece of what we see. And today we're going to disrupt that habit because there's an extraordinary power in the learning of saying this. I haven't made up my mind yet. We're going to learn how to really explore what happens when you don't make up your mind so fast based on that one slice of what you're seeing.

4:09So let's talk a little bit about the story making machine. So the human brain is an incredible pattern recognition machine. Think about what pattern recognition means. It's like, oh, I recognize that. It's constantly trying to make sense of incomplete information. That's useful. The brain categorizes, predicts, and creates shortcuts so you don't have to relearn the world every morning. This is what pattern recognition is for in a useful way. We have it, and we should be grateful for it because imagine if we had to wake up and figure out the entire world every single morning. But the problem is when we confuse the efficiency of those shortcuts with their accuracy. So think about that efficiency versus accuracy because your brain doesn't just complete patterns with refrigerators and stop signs, meaning like, oh, that's a refrigerator. That's a stop sign. We don't just do it with that. Those are good things. You know, like if you see a stop sign, you should stop. If you want something cold to drink, it's in the refrigerator. But it does this with people. It does this with everything. In fact, your employee is quiet in the meeting. Here's an example.

5:17You automatically recognize that pattern and say he's disengaged. Your spouse's tone changes in their voice. Anybody have this to happen at home? She's pissed at me. Or there's something wrong. Your friend doesn't invite you somewhere. You know, your all your friends go out and you don't get invited somewhere. I guess I know where I stand. Or someone disagrees with you. God forbid somebody ever disagrees with us. And you automatically recognize that pattern and say they don't understand. Maybe, but maybe not. We learn to say maybe not. Those might be three of the most useful words you'll ever learn. Maybe, maybe not. Do you have the ability to say maybe or maybe not because you probably weren't taught to do this. So here's where this fits into the interface response system, which is the kind of the flagship program that we have in our inner book. So if you've read my book, make sense how to rewire your mind and transform your life. Or if you've listened to this show, by the way, if you want to learn the interface response system, just go into the podcast, which is free.

6:26I mean, read the book. I think you should read the book to get the full essence. It builds up it. But if you watch the first 10 episodes or listen to the first 10 episodes of the make sense with Dr. JC podcast, you'll get the whole interface response system. So if you've read the book, you've listened to the show. You've most likely heard me talk about the interface response system. And those are the four steps to helping you reclaim control of your response system. We always say that if we change the way we look at things, the things that we look at change, that's something that we got from Wayne dire. So there's four steps to that process interface response system helps you actually execute on that. And that's perceive pause process and proceed. Holographic vision, which is what we're talking about today lives in step three, which is my favorite step. And that is process where we allow ourselves after we kind of pause and we say, wait, wait, what's going on, which is a very healthy thing to do. And we say, in that space, we have the ability all of a sudden and a little bit of freedom. And the right.

7:27Because we've given ourselves that permission to have that right to take a look at things to change the way we look at things. So remember that saying if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, how do we execute on that. We have to pause our program, our automatic response system that's been programmed into us. We have to pause it and step into this space where we allow ourselves to change the way we look at things. So that's the secret. That's how we do it. Holographic vision lives in step three process after the pause in that space. You can effectively process things if you haven't learned to perceive and pause. So the interface response system is not something where you can forget about those two things. In fact, the most important step before pausing is just to recognize how crazy it is that our brains do what they do. And if you've been programmed and practiced with consistency and you're consuming the same things every day, which makes you assume that same things every day, you're always going to see things the way that you typically see things.

8:34So if you don't understand that your brain is like this automatic meaning making machine, you'll never validate the idea of challenging yourself, challenging your thoughts, your automatic response to things, your indeed your reflex. So perceive is the most important thing just to walk away from this conversation today more awakened, more aware of things, how your brain works, how life works, how we really only see a slice of things. That's what validates the ability to say, well, hold on a second. Hmm. Haven't made up my mind yet. That little hmm. And that doesn't mean when you pause on things, it doesn't mean that you don't care and it doesn't mean that you don't have an opinion. It doesn't mean that you're leaving your initial opinion. It just means I haven't made up my mind yet. That's what appauses. A pause is not indefinite. So if you know that it's kind of silly to just believe everything that you think knowing that you got it from someone and somewhere else, it doesn't mean that it's no longer relevant.

9:37You can always come back to it, but you're going to pause and step into this place where holographic vision can actually take place because I can teach you holographic vision right now. And it's not H O L E right. It's W H O L E like the whole. It comes from holograms. You know, when you look at a hologram and you walk by it, you see all sorts of different things come alive. But in the holographic universe, you realize the universe is kind of made that way. But if you take a teeny little piece of a hologram, like let's say a hologram that you see in the airport or something like that shatters. If you just take one little shard and piece of that hologram, what's interesting is it contains the entire image in it. I like that word and I made up holographic vision because what you see is what you get, but it's not necessarily what is because there's alternative vantage points. What's important is that we understand the way that the brain works, validating the pausing of it and stepping into this space where you can actually say, I'm going to take a look around.

10:39I'm going to take a look around at things before I make my mind on this show. We're always talking about making small changes that create big results. But one thing we don't talk enough about is sleep. And that's why I genuinely love cozy earth. The first night I slept in their sheets, the biggest surprise to me wasn't how incredibly soft they were. It was actually that they stayed cool. If you've ever tossed and turned at night because your sheets got too warm, you'll appreciate the difference immediately. I also really appreciate that cozy earth backs everything with a 10 year warranty and 100 nights of hassle-free returns. So trying them is completely risk-free. They're made from viscoes from bamboo, breathable, soft, and built for summer. Head on over to cozyearth.com and use my code, drag-in for an exclusive 20% off. And if you see a post-purchase survey, mention that you heard about cozy earth right here. I only recommend products that I truly believe add value into your life. Better sleep simply makes for a better life. And to me, that just makes sense.

11:44Now I want to go back to one of my favorite characters that I built in Make Sense. This comes from the Make Sense Bolt. This is part of this same process. And that's the bouncer, the character of the bouncer. So just kind of to remind this and bring this back to surface. I've done episodes on this before. Picture your mind. Your mind is the nightclub. You know, this dance club or this bar. And standing outside, you know, with a velvet rope and, you know, a big line, is this giant dude. That's you with a clipboard. That dude's job is to decide who gets in and who doesn't. What gets in and what doesn't to the nightclub. Now we all have a bouncer, right? It's just that a lot of our bouncer's have been kind of like really lazy and not doing their job. So that clipboard in their hands is actually a guest list. So come with me on this analogy. Because if you can have a talk with your bouncer and get your bouncer to do its friggin job, what you're going to do is you're going to clean up the nightclub.

12:46You're going to stop letting unwanted trouble making guests and things into your nightclub. So in their hands is a guest list. And only the people and things on the guest list get in. So somebody walks up to the front door and they try to cut the line and they say, Hey, my name is JC Dornick. Bouncer says, not on the list. Get to the end of the line. Maybe never get in. So what I want you to think about with that analogy of the guest list is who and what. Are on your guest list right now? Are you even aware that you have a guest list or does everybody get into your nightclub? And what I mean by that is if somebody comes up to you and unsolicitedly gives you criticism or says something nasty to you and it affects your nightclub, what that means is your bouncer's just letting everybody in. But if you had a guest list and said, Oh, I'm sorry, you're not on the list. Your nightclub would stay clean and healthy. Isn't that an interesting kind of way of looking at things? So who and what are on your guest list? And what I want you to look at is your current guest list are the things that you already believe to be true to a big extent.

13:52The things that you already believe to be true, the things that you consider to sit inside the realm of the known are on your guest list. Now when new information walks up, what happens is is your bouncer might say, does this agree with JC? And if your bouncer is lazy, the answer to almost every one of those things is, yep, come on in. We'll process it in the club rather than outside at the front door. Are you processing things that are happening in your life outside? Or are you processing them once they get into the club? Because then you have to kick them out of the club and sometimes they stay in the club for a long time. So is your bouncer just saying, yeah, come on in. Is that what it says on a shirt rather than like staff? It says, come on in. Sometimes it lets things in all the time. So it feels like it's in control and it can handle things. But then something else approaches. So think about your bouncer. Think about being at that front door. Something else approaches and it challenges your belief system.

14:54All of a sudden your bouncer is going to rear up, get on its toes. And what it suggests is that the person that you dislike might have a point. If somebody challenges your belief system, you typically don't like that person in that moment. And in that moment, it means that the person that you dislike might have a point. And it suggests that the person that you admire might be wrong. We don't like to be wrong about things. Remember, what we're talking about, what's holding us back from holographic vision. The reason why we don't look around at things, because our ego is involved. So if somebody comes up and makes a point and it challenges your belief system, that's something that you're, whether it's right or wrong, you're probably going to withhold them from coming into your nightclub. Now remember what we said before. We have the ability to believe something to be true. That is not true. We also have the ability to believe something has happened that hasn't happened yet.

15:56Once again, if you go back to step one of the interface response system, perceive our brains are doing that all the time. My brain has the ability to believe in something that is not true. My brain has the ability to believe something has happened that hasn't happened yet. So that validates me pausing. That's part of perceived where God forbid somebody says something that says something that says something that says something that's not true. That says something that suggests that you might be wrong. That's when the bouncer checks the guest list, the clipboard and says, sorry, you're not on the list. So an unhealthy bouncer is not somebody that's just letting everybody in. An unhealthy bouncer is actually blocking people and things that should be in the club out. And the things that the unhealthy bouncer is doing is blocking things out that challenge your belief system. Even if it's a good idea and if it's true. The reason why I want to share that with you is this idea that I'm going to share called holographic vision.

16:57It's genius and it's and it's so effective if you do it. And the reason why most people don't do it is because of their belief system and that the fact that they're locked into that. Eventually, we aren't experiencing reality as it is. This is the problem is most people are walking around and not experiencing reality the way it is. They're experiencing it as they believe it. Now, let's sit there for a second and try to just think for yourself up in the prefrontal cortex. That's the value of this podcast. Get in the part of your brain right now where you get curious and think about the difference between experiencing reality as it is. And experiencing it the way that you see it and the way that you believe it to be. Now, you might jump right now and say, well, what you know, seeing is believing. What we see is what we get. I understand that.

17:57That's experiencing reality through your belief system. But could something else be true about reality? Of course, of course. So I'm going to invite you today to just allow yourself. Give yourself permission to acknowledge that reality might not be the way that you see and believe it. We're experiencing a carefully curated version of reality that's been approved for our existing beliefs. That's typically what we're doing. And that's not holographic vision. That's what we call tunnel vision. Holographic vision is the opposite of tunnel vision. Nobody's going to go around and say and proudly acknowledge that they have tunnel vision. But today we're allowing ourselves to look at things differently and entertain things. And tunnel vision would be when you have locked into believing something based on your beliefs.

19:01And you no longer allow anything else to come in. I like to look at that as having the right protect switch on, you know, like on an SD card, which means you can put an SD card in something. And if the right protect switch is on, it means no new information can come on it. It's locked. If you want to record to it and put new information like we're doing in our system right now, you have to have the right protect switch off. Meaning it's open for new. Most people have their right protect switch on and we understand why because the refrigerator in the stop sign, right. There's a lot of value in, you know, certainty and all of that stuff, but it also gets us in trouble, doesn't it? So what is holographic vision now that we're in this space where we realize that the only way that we can even entertain looking at things differently or looking at things from different perspectives is we have to allow ourselves to. And the reason why we wouldn't allow ourselves to is because we're locked into believing that what we see is what we get.

20:03So this is a very, very big challenge to allow yourself to entertain disputing or even contemplating alternative perspectives in life. I invite you to have some fun and look at this. So holographic vision is the intentional practice of recognizing that your current perspective is only one angle of a much larger reality. That's the way it begins. It's the intentional practice of recognizing that your current perspective, what you think, what you see is only one slice, one angle, one perspective of a much larger reality that could be. And once you're there, then you realize that your current guest list that you're holding is not final. There's room for negotiation on your guest list and there's also no need to rush. It would kind of be like somebody walking up to the front of the bar and you look at your guest list and they're not on the guest list and you say, well, you're not on the guest list.

21:08But who are you? Tell me a little bit about it. Maybe you're a good fit for the club. Maybe you're a good fit for the night club. Maybe not. I haven't made up my mind yet. So you get the point. So imagine an object sitting in the middle of a room, any object. You're standing on one side of that object and you see that object as a circle. That's you. So you're looking at an object in the middle of a room and you're standing on one side of it looking at it and you say, that's a circle because that's what you see. It's a circle. But I'm standing on the opposite side of that object on the other side of the room. So I have a totally different vantage point of that object and I see a rectangle. And I say, that's a rectangle. So you say, JC, it's obviously a circle. But from where I stand, I say, what are you talking about? It's clearly a rectangle. Now this is the way we go through life. We see circles and rectangles, right? And we're sure of it. Now imagine our identities become attached to those perspectives.

22:16You think it's a circle? I think it's a rectangle. And our identities are latched onto it. What we'll end up doing, and this is what the brain does, is we'll start gathering evidence to prove that it's a circle or a rectangle. I'll gather evidence to prove that it's a rectangle and I'll share that with you. And you'll gather evidence that it's a circle and not a rectangle and you'll share it with me. So that's where confirmation bias and all of that stuff comes in. You'll actually go as far as joining a Facebook group or something like that called people who aren't idiots and can clearly see that this is a circle. And then you'll support that idea that it's a circle. So let's start a podcast called rectangles are real. And then it'll get to the point where you'll unfollow me. I'll block you and we'll welcome to humanity. It's so silly. And the only reason that all that stuff happens is because people don't want to allow themselves the space to recognize that they don't know everything.

23:16So I think that's my book. I think it's chapter seven. One of the biggest breakthroughs I ever made was what a mentor of mine asked me, what's more important to you to be right or kind. That's a great, great chapter. And I thought I was being kind, but I realized I always wanted to be right. If I was kind to people, I would listen to what they had to say rather than just wait for them to shut up so I could tell them they're wrong. And I'm right. So that's kind of where we're at and listening is a way of caring and also a way of allowing yourself to say, well, let's listen to what they have to say. But what happens if one of us singly all of a sudden in this interaction circles and rectangles, what happens if one of us simply gets curious and something would have to prompt that gets curious and walks around the object not only to the other side, but to all the sides and started to practice holographic vision. What have you got open and curious and just say, well, let me take a look around. Let me look at it from different vantage points. Here's what you would say. Oh, in fact, it's not a circle or a rectangle.

24:25It's a cylinder. You weren't wrong. I wasn't wrong. We were just both incomplete. See, it's not about being right versus wrong. Sometimes what we're looking at is just incomplete. Does that make sense? Is it possible that you have something that you're looking at today in interaction with family? Maybe you're going through some tough times or maybe you have the delusion to think that everything's all right and you're not taking responsibility and looking at things all things. Is it possible that the way you're looking at things might be incomplete, meaning maybe there's more to it? That's holographic vision. It's the willingness to move around and investigate. Imagine if an investigator was trying to crack a case, and this is the whole concept of the crazy wall, right? You're putting all the pieces of the story up there and looking at everything to help you make that decision.

25:25Imagine if they just looked at someone, I think that's the criminal, and they just didn't look at the whole case. Everybody would be wrongfully prisoned, right? And that happens. It's the willingness to move around and investigate, not necessarily by the way to abandon your perspective, but to recognize that who you are, where you're from, and who you were raised by, and also where you're standing at that given time, has determined what you're capable of seeing. That's why you can recognize that it's incomplete. If I'm looking at something from who I am today, I'm going to see it the way that I was trained to see it. If I allow myself to go look around from other perspectives, I'm going to see something completely different. So here's a question that I want you to steal for the day, and this could save lives and also save you a lot of time and help you follow through. The next time somebody does something that you don't understand or don't like, instead of asking, why would they do that?

26:27We throw our hands up, we go, why would somebody do that? We're looking for approval. So instead of that, ask this, what would have to be true for this to make sense from where they are standing? Now what are you doing? That's stepping into their shoes and grabbing their perspective. Now that's not to say that they're right and you're wrong. But imagine if you did that. You know, when somebody approaches you and gives you some shit, what we're supposed to do is say, that's not my problem, that's theirs. So how do you come to that conclusion? Well, you'd have to realize that that person might be just having a bad day. Who knows what's going on in their life? Who knows what would have to be true for somebody to say such a stupid thing? Because I mean, if you can grab onto that, what did you just save yourself? You saved yourself a whole day of dwelling on something. I hate when people blame me for doing something that I don't think I did. But why would they do that? Why would somebody blame me for doing something that I didn't do?

27:28So what would have to be true for this to make sense from where they're standing? That is huge. That's a huge breakthrough. So those questions sound similar, right? Why did they do that? And then the other one? But they're worlds apart. Why would they do that? Is often an accusation disguised as curiosity? Like we pretend we're curious. Like, well, why would they do that? Why would they do that? You're looking for validation in that. But when you say something like, what would have to be true for this to make sense from where they're standing? Now what you've done is you've moved to a new location. This is holographic vision. You've moved to a new location from where you were standing before. Why would they do that? Is where you're standing and you're not looking at it? But if you start moving around, you get curious. And you'd be able to ask a question, what would have to be true for this to make sense from where they're standing? When you find out what's going on there, it's unbelievable. On this show, we're always talking about making small changes that create big results.

28:33But one thing we don't talk enough about is sleep. And that's why I genuinely love cozy Earth. The first night I slept in their sheets, the biggest surprise to me wasn't how incredibly soft they were. It was actually that they stayed cool. If you've ever tossed and turned at night because your sheets got too warm, you'll appreciate the difference immediately. I also really appreciate that cozy Earth backs everything with a 10-year warranty and 100 nights of hassle-free returns. So trying them is completely risk-free. They're made from visco's from bamboo, breathable, soft, and built for summer. Head on over to cozyearth.com and use my code, drag-in for an exclusive 20% off. And if you see a post-purchase survey, mention that you heard about cozy Earth right here. I only recommend products that I truly believe add value into your life. Better sleep simply makes for a better life. And to me, that just makes sense. A lot of people ask me why I have such a good perspective. I had somebody call me yesterday that recently found out they had kidney cancer.

29:35So like all of a sudden, I'm some sort of expert on kidney cancer. I'm just two months ahead of this guy. And I was just telling him everybody's going to try to tell you that they're protocol and what they did or what, you know, everybody's going to try to fix you and stuff like that. I said all that matters is that what it is that you decide to do like me. I've got a protocol. I've decided to do it. And that's it. Say thank you so much for sharing. So everybody kind of starts coming at you from their vantage points. And holographic vision does not mean that you entertain everything. There is a time where you've done your work, you've done your holographic vision, you've looked at all your options. And in this case for cancer treatment. But you've selected the one that you align with the most. At that point, you don't have to keep on entertaining. So I said to this guy, I said, be careful of that because that'll drive you crazy. And I said, so don't be insulted. If you tell me what you're going to do and recommend it to me.

30:44And I say thanks, but no thanks. I've already got my initiative. I've got my team built and I'm going in this direction. And he goes, oh man, that's great, great advice. And what was funny is is right after we got off that call, he sent me a text going, hey, I think I'm going to go in this direction. If you want, I can ask them if I can get you in. You know, it's just a funny automatic thing. So a lot of this holographic vision is recognizing the humor in our automatic response, our knee jerk reflex. We forget things very, very fast. I could tell you, hey, I'm not looking for help and you'll still try to help. So there's a lot of that stuff going on. So you have to be able to answer that question, you know, of like what would need to be true for that person till like right after I told them that I don't want to know something, say it. It's kind of like we forgive them for they know not what they do. And also they're just trying to help and not absorb it as like what the fuck I just told them not to do it, right. So this is all about your response system. Remember, this is part of the interface response system. So maybe the employee that you thought didn't care is overwhelmed at home.

31:52Remember the text before maybe the friend who hasn't called you thinks that you pulled away. How about that one, do you ever stop to think if somebody ghosts you or stops talking to you. I just heard this the other day. Somebody was talking about how their boyfriend hasn't texted them in a whole day. And that's not normal, right. He usually texts all the time. And I said, well, maybe he's sitting there wondering why you didn't text for a day, right. So just grabbing alternative perspectives very, very healthy. Maybe your spouse, my wife, maybe is not angry. Maybe they're just scared or they don't feel safe right now. Or maybe they got triggered by something else unconsciously. Maybe the person disagreeing with you is not in fact stupid like you're thinking. Maybe they're seeing a side of the cylinder that you can't see. So when we say, hmm, we stop the automatic place that were from perspective. If it's important, we'll just walk around. There's also that place where you go, I don't fucking care about this conversation.

32:54You know, I find myself saying that. I don't know if you guys do ever do this, but sometimes people want to engage in a conversation with me or I see somebody trying to be right about something. And I really don't care. In no way, shape or form serves any of my goals and dreams. It's not under the category of what matters most. I don't even need to be in that conversation. So in my mind, I'm thinking, I just don't fucking care about this. So what do you do in that situation? Well, I can tell you don't get into a conversation with those people. You can just say, hmm, like that. So that's okay too. Here's an important distinction to make of all this stuff. Understanding another perspective does not require surrendering to your own. That's the fear. It's not a weakness. You're not getting rid of your perspective. Holographic vision is not about becoming so open-minded that your brain falls out of the equation. Here's what it's about. It's about being curious enough to recognize the limitations of your own vantage point.

34:00This is the power move to become curious enough to recognize that the limitations of your perspective and your vantage point exist. Can you look at your vantage point, including how you were raised and programmed and what you consume every day? We're all brainwashed to a certain extent. Look at religion. I mean, religion's such a fascinating thing. How you have all these different groups that have these different beliefs, but they all think that what they believe is. Can you see that there's limitations to our vantage point? If you can see that, what you'll do is you'll become open and curious and you'll start looking at other things. That is where your breakthrough will come. You can always go back to your thing, but you're going to find some things that are pretty cool. I love to talk about the simulation hypothesis. This is not real. This is just a video game. None of this is real. We're creating AI without acknowledging that we might even be AI.

35:00It's just a fun concept. A lot of people say, oh, that's ridiculous. Then all of a sudden, I'll bring up, I'll be like, well, can you prove that this is all real? And they'll realize, no, I can't, but it doesn't matter. They'll still say it's real. So there's so many different examples of this. But we make up our minds really fast. We don't even know that it's because of our program. Here's why certainty feels so good. We're very bent on being certain. Human beings love certainty. Even false certainty can feel better than uncertainty. Sometimes we make up our mind because not making up our mind is too uncomfortable. Because uncertainty requires us to say three uncomfortable words. And those are, I don't know. I'm going to tell you right now that my favorite three words to say are, I don't know. They used to be what I feared. We'd often rather have a bad answer or give a bad answer or a bad reply than have no answer.

36:00Why didn't they text their mad, which is not necessarily true. You just made it up. Why didn't I get promoted at work? My boss doesn't appreciate me. See, we just jump on things without even thinking and we lock into them. Why did my partners say that to me? They don't respect me. And suddenly the uncertainty disappears. I have learned to revel in uncertainty. There is so much power in not making your mind up, but we live in a world that's taught us that we have to make it up fast. And that certainty has to be a rapid response. That's why we make all this shit up. Now you have an explanation. That's what it is. The problem. What's wrong with being uncertain, my friends? So here's the thing. Certainty and accuracy are not the same thing. You can be incredibly certain about something. And at the same time, completely wrong. Am I right? Maybe. Can you be a hundred percent certain about something, but at the same time be wrong. Of course, we've all done that.

37:05But the worst decisions that we make aren't because we didn't know enough. They're because we stopped looking once we thought that we knew. I don't know yet. See, this says, haven't made up my mind yet. I might make up my mind, but I haven't yet. I don't know yet. Just saying, hmm, that's what it's saying. I'm going to think about it. Is that okay? And for a lot of people it's not okay. When I ask you a question, I don't want just your answer or your opinion. I want you to agree with me. I don't know that I'm doing that. So if you have nothing to say, that's threatening to me. Because that's the same thing is saying, I don't know if you're right. Do you mind if I think about it? Isn't it silly that we live in a world like this? I don't know yet. So this is why I chose this word, hmm, as my pause cue in the interface response system step two pause. It stands for I haven't made up my mind yet. It's not a weakness. It's a possibility. It carries uncertainty with potential. I love potential on my friends.

38:19So then there's social media. Let's not forget about that, right? Take this human tendency that we've been talking about and add the algorithm. You clicked on something, you watched something, you agree with something and you're showing more things likely. How dangerous is that? Right? If you just hint in the algorithm, something that you believe or that you like, you're going to see more and more of it. And it's going to condition and it's going to get locked in even if it's ridiculous, even if it's a waste of time. So eventually you start thinking, well, everybody knows this. See, there's the validation. Social media does the validation for you. It's not true though. All you're seeing is that everyone that you're being shown knows this. But there's a completely different algorithm for people that think completely different than you. Is there any value in looking at that as well? This is the danger with what kids are looking at. So they're totally different. So our digital environments can become another form of the bouncer constantly handing us information that's already on the guest list. If you look at the algorithm and social media, it's building your guest list for you.

39:27Mark Deschard from sub-sexes, it ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ate so. And that's a quote by Mark Twain. So our digital environments can become another form of the bouncer constantly telling us who's on the guest list. And what this means is that holographic vision isn't just another relationship tool anymore. It's a survival kit. It's a survival kit for modern thinking. And it's wild. And it's wise because if you're not consciously and curiously widening your lens, somebody else is going to narrow it for you. And this changes everything. It changes even how we lead in life. Think about this in business sense. And employee misses a deadline. The manager immediately thinks they're unreliable. Maybe they're unreliable or are they unreliable. holographic vision doesn't mean everyone gets a free pass either. It just means investigate before you sentence.

40:27What don't I know yet? Ask the question. What don't I know yet? What could be gather information, look from another angle and then decide. That's a better way of making a decision. Strong leadership can tolerate ambiguity long enough to gather better information. And this applies to marriage, parenting, friendship, coaching, and especially conflict. Imagine what happens during your next disagreement. If instead of asking, how do I prove that I'm right, you asked this instead. What am I not seeing? What else might be true? That doesn't make you smaller by the way. It makes your field of vision bigger. And that brings up the real work. This is why the magic of holographic vision isn't really the technique. The technique is simple. I'm just saying look around. Look at things from alternative vantage points. It's not about the technique. Look again, ask questions, change angles. The difficult part is this. It comes before the technique. You have to become the kind of person that is willing to discover that your original interpretation may be incomplete.

41:45You have to become the kind of person that entertains the potential incompleteness of your initial interpretation and perception. You cannot practice holographic vision with a closed circuit, right, with your right protect switch on, like I said before. You first have to reach this place where you haven't made up your mind. And that's why we pause. The pause allows you to enter that space. holographic vision lives in curiosity, possibility, uncertainty, and the unknown. We're afraid of the unknown. I love the unknown. I don't know. It requires the humility to say this. There may be something here that I currently can't see. That's not indecisiveness, my friends. That's intelligence. So that's why I have the makes sense glasses. And for those of you that don't know, there's no lenses in them. People that come on our show and whenever I go out and do a talk, I always hand out makes sense glasses, but they don't have any lenses on them. People don't recognize that for a while.

42:46This is what I mean when I talk about putting on your makes sense glasses is you're not borrowing my glasses. They're yours, right. You're not borrowing your parents glasses or lenses. You're not borrowing your trauma's lenses. Wearing makes sense glasses, which is just an idea. You don't actually have to have glasses, although I love my glasses, same makes sense on the side. I'm not borrowing them, reminds you, and that's what it does for me. It's a cue. It reminds you that you're not looking through anyone else's lenses, but yours. People ask me, why do you wear glasses without lenses? It's because I made a decision, and I want to remind myself that I'm going to allow myself to look at things the way I can see them from all perspectives. I'm going to be influenced by anyone else's lenses, so I took the lenses out. It means that I'm willing to look again, and that's why I removed the lenses. Because we didn't consciously choose every lens through which we see the world. Did we? That's a big distinction.

43:46You think they're your lenses that you've developed them. No, there was a lot of influence outside influence. Some were programmed into us, some protected us once, some belonged to our parents, and paid forward to us, our culture, our teachers' preachers, right, and painful experiences, have formed our lenses. But we don't think like that. We just go, that's the way I see it. Polographic vision says this. Before I decide what this means, let me make sure I'm actually looking at what is here, all of it. So try this for one week. For the next seven days, catch yourself whenever you become certain about someone else's intentions. Catch yourself. Catch yourself becoming certain about somebody else's intentions. I love when people tell me what I'm thinking, or what I meant. All they're doing is telling me their perspective of what they think I thought, and what I meant. So for the next seven days, catch yourself becoming certain about someone else's intentions. The moment that you catch your brain saying, I know exactly what they did, or I know exactly why they did that. Stop.

44:53Just say, huh, that's what it sounds like. Then ask three questions. What do I actually know about it? Actually, what story have I added to what I know? And also my favorite, what else might be true? What else might be true in your life today? That's it. You don't have to abandon your first interpretation. It actually might be correct. Your first interpretation. Don't abandon it. It's just an option. But you're going to look at options. But now that initial perspective or interpretation, when you allow yourself to do this, it now has to compete with other possibilities. And when it has to compete, it has to be really, really good. If there's others, this is why I found my way to Buddhism. I couldn't select one religion. I liked something about them all. I wrote about that in my book. I went on a religion tour, and I couldn't find a religion that I hated everything about. I liked something about all. So I wanted to be all. So I chose a philosophy instead of a religion. And my wife and I became Buddhist. And this little space that we're creating here, you know, might save you an argument, a relationship, a business decision, a sleepless night, or simply six hours of being pissed off at somebody who maybe had a phone that died.

46:11So here's the good shift. Maybe wisdom isn't knowing more answers. Maybe wisdom is becoming more comfortable without an answer. That's it for today. To support the Make Sense with Dr. JC podcast, be sure to subscribe, like and share, as well as follow the Make Sense substack for free daily quotes, live streams, and blogs. And remember, learning without action is just another form of distraction. If something hit home and you learn something today, give it away. That's the only way it's going to stay. See you next time.