The Episode of Unfathomable Healing *TEASER*

0:00I come into your room, there's stuff everywhere, there's clothes everywhere, I come in, there's stuff everywhere, you're in the bathroom, I just hear, I don't know how to talk to you, it's like playing so loud, I'm a speaker, suddenly we're rolling around on the floor, like the best way to describe it. Because you caught me, I felt like that I need, a song hadn't been calling to me until that moment and I felt I needed to listen to that song. And then like what proceeded after was, I can only describe it as like a tantrum, like we were on the floor. A tantrum. We were on the floor, like rolling. We were rolling around, we were screaming. It was good though, like I don't want it to sound, like it was bad, like anyway, we were in the living room, we fell to the ground and we were rolling around and I was like, I need to listen to, too good, I need to listen to, too good by Drake. And I was trying to play, I was like, is it Drake generally, is it other Drake songs? It was kind of just specifically that song,

1:00but then we were listening to it and it was like, we were delving into his teachings. Last night I got high as the expectations and I was like, whoa, Nick, we really do get high as the expectations, I guess it's high as your expectations, but like that really moved me in that moment. I was like, whoa, like sometimes we get as high as our expectations. We expect so much. We expect so much, so that's how high we have to get. I was really needing to work something out and I was like, I cannot believe like my songs in previous Shrooms Trip, I'm not even a Drake fan, you guys. Like I don't even like Drake like that. Like my previous songs I'd listen to air, the air soundtrack from the Virgin Suicides, I'd listen to American Teenager, I'd listen to Kelly Uchis, like I've listened to like me flying all the way to California to take it to a place of Toronto. The Shrooms were demanding that I go mentally to a place of Toronto. They were trapping you in Toronto. They were trapping me in Toronto. But then we were listening to lyrics and I was like, I don't know that like I even relate to these lyrics that much. I feel like I am processing Drake's pain right now.

2:01Like I feel like I was just realizing that Drake was in a lot of pain and I was carrying like a lot of his pain and like then we started playing American Teenager which we wept and we cried and I saw that I had a battle in the mirror. Oh, we think no other like my face. I was like my face is wet and I didn't realize that I was crying and then I was crying, I was weeping, we were laughing. But as I was working out all this stuff in myself, I do also feel I was working something through for Drake. I thought about DMing him afterwards. I thought about saying Drake. We were saying like we as a society like carries so much of Drake's pain. We carry so much of Drake's pain and like I don't think that we realize how much of Drake's pain we carry on it on a day-to-day basis and like he's in a lot of pain. It was a major theme of our trip you guys. It was like a roommate like working it out. Like we are going to get those demons out. Oh yeah, that was the other thing as well. We were in the tantrum room and I was freaking out. I was like I have a lot of demons inside of me and you were like we're going to get them out. We're going to get them out. I was doula.

3:02You were douling. I just felt like things were like coming from me. I was processing. I was screaming. I was crying. I genuinely felt like I was giving birth and Nick was my doula. And then Nick was giving birth and I was his doula. We were both working through something, but we were also working through something for Drake. Like I feel like a major spiritual shift for Drake occurred last night. And I don't know if he knows what work we did for him. I think his melancholy is so relatable. Like it really touched us. It really touched us. There was something like he called out to us in our altered state. And also we said, Drake, if you wake up tomorrow and you're feeling a few pounds lighter, you're welcome. I know I was like, I'm going to DM him like Drake, you might notice you will begin to cough in four days. Things have changed for you in ways you cannot understand. A swarm of locusts. I just feel like I do, I feel like Drake should maybe compensate me for the healing I did for him because I did a healing for myself too. But I wasn't expecting to be called to Drake. We were rolling on the floor of the living room like,

4:02oh, oh, Drake, Drake, like, we were like straight. Because what was happening is I was trying to understand if the lyrics applied to me, but then I was like, he's just in a lot of pain. It's just, it's just, it's not my pain. No, my pain is Drake's pain and like you said, how much of us have been unknowingly carrying Drake's pain for years. That was more of a like, it was a different pain than Ethel's pain. It was a, well Ethel was the conduit for our pain. Like Ethel actually was transforming me. Was my pain. Yeah. That was all Drake's pain. That was like, I don't think any of it. You guys, if you want to understand like a fraction of what was going on, like play American teenager. On a loop 10 times and just imagine the things that would come up for you. Picture like you're literally laying in the dirt, like, spread out, watching the sunset over a hillside that's in front of like, sobbing. Oh my God. At the sobbing felt so good. I feel like I learned so much.

5:04I felt so connected with my grandfather who passed several years ago. I felt like I felt him so much like around me. I felt so much love. I felt so much peace. I felt so much acceptance. I felt so much beauty and joy alongside the things I was feeling for Drake. But for myself, it was just like,