S17 Ep886: Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

0:00This week on the program we're talking about a film that Roddreebert called quote an utterly meaningless waste of time That's right, it's Resident Evil Apocalypse! I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Siddak. Eric Sisco Apocalypse. Resident Cabin. And we hate movies. We all go a little match sometimes. You know, Salah Wien. I guess everyone's a tad of a good scare. Sometimes, that is better. The zombies are getting through the building. You're right the door. They're coming in. It is time to keep your appointment with them to come out. They're coming to get you, Barbara. They sick, fox-y-syn-wanty-many-movey. Nah, Sidd, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos for a creator!

1:00What the fuck are you all doing in the back? That's an excellent day for an exorcism. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into the fine pod, as always. That's right. We're getting the horror juices going early. The spooktacchia is not here just yet. The horrible juices. This is the horrible juices. It's more like a yes. Resident Evil Apocalypse from 2004, directed by Alexander Witt. Like your dad cookin' a turkey, the horrible juices. But sometimes that's good. Sometimes dad doin' the turkey's not bad, but this is always bad. The horrible juices. The horrible juices. No, I'm actually what you say. I did not have a chef dad, I'm sorry. Oh yeah, I'm sorry. Coming up after the game, it's chef dad. John Favreau back at it again, but for television, he finally failed enough. No one else from the movie showing up on Chef Dad the show. By the way, Andrew, you started the show with an e-Birt quote. Yeah. You didn't even have to resurrect him from the dad, like that boomer bill simons.

2:00Dude, that is sacra-ligious. Oh yeah, I can't even make my sacra. That's what it can do. Just finding new and inventive ways to make me like AI less. Somehow, somehow he did it. Congratulations. You work hard at that. Holy shit. Because I was like, yeah. What would Roddrybred have thought about one battle after another? I don't give a fuck. You've been dead for fucking 15 years. Because hot wars start now. No, they do not find your camp. I just think that that's a real fucking grave robbing thing. Oh, God. It's just very weird. It's really disgusting. Because he would have probably a completely different opinion on everything. Because it's not real fucking AI. It's bullshit. It's just you coming to the internet. If you want to fucking talk to him, hear what he thinks about new movies. Go to heaven. I'm not telling you how to do that, but go to heaven. Let's get Pauline Kalebine here to review American wedding. How about that, Pauline? What do you think about the shit eating? Or do a fucking full on say outs? That's what that's the way to do it. I get it. Get it get it get it. Get it. Get it.

3:01Get it. A circle around, you know, a cult is due for a major comeback. Yeah. So you open the gates of the afterlife and summit me for my eternal resting piece to ask me what I thought of resident evil. What was the last one in 2016? I can't believe there's six of these fucking movies. I don't know. I don't believe it. We're in the scorpion king. That's the crossover event of the direct to streaming here. Oh my god. Oh my god. The theaters. These, I mean, these sort of kind of all made money. This one I looked at up 125 million dollars at the end of the day. Not bad. Mm-hmm. Around the world. Speak of the money. Get ready to make none when I hit play real quick. Oh yeah. Coming soon to the trailer. Yeah. It's the BHS trailer game. Wait, is it gentlemen? America's favorite game about absolute materials. It is a game that I'll be with the legend Brewster and once said. It's a game that four Simpletons can play at one time. That is right. And we are those four Simpletons. And we're going to do our best to make it through this game without any incidents.

4:01Even though at Melrose Place Legend Thomas Colabra once said probably have gas issues. Yeah, we probably do have gas. Yeah, the magical outweigh on the day. It's a farty trivia game. Okay. Yeah, we like to eat. This is staying away from beans now, Thomas. Season 17's premiere of the VHS trailer game. Everyone's back to zero. Two in last week to see Andrew covered in glory as we covered Halloween three as a redux. I think I was just covered in glory, by the way. And any fun, a cameo by Thomas Colabra also Andrew's choice. That's kind of the stakes here that they're incredibly low. Oh yeah. The real. So rare the stakes. Yeah, the stakes are rare. Okay. Let's just say I want enough money from the VHS trailer game to get a really cheap cameo. There you go. How do you think? So what you're looking for? Oh, as you always do FYI, this was the last resident evil movie released on VHS. Oh, there you go. That's sad. What a set. Yeah, we wept that. So round one.

5:01Oh, yeah. Game masters collute. A romcom about a man they call the date doctor. A mega-star team of the T.I. Oh, God, everyone did it the same time. I'm going to be honest and say it was Eric. I think I say Eric. Hitch. It is. Hitch. Of course it is. Yeah, I mean, that was people that only you saw this. This was like you've been going to have a horse crosses a line. You got to take the photo and we should have the camera going at this one. We should. I mean, just for everybody wanted to say Hitch as quickly as possible. It's good. That's never seen Hitch. Obviously, it's they tuned. Oh my God. It would be a fun movie to talk about. It's it's not awful. It's a watchable hotel TV movie. It's the nut in the end. I think so. Yeah. He's not it before. I mean, it's not a 40-year-old version of it. Does he have like a fall, fall blart daughter or something? I don't believe so. I don't think he's got kids. But it's going after he's not it before. Yeah. He's going after Ava Mendez in the movies. That was no. That's who Hitch is going after. Oh, that's right. I think he's victim. Some people. Yes, a blonde tall lady.

6:02She looks like Elizabeth DeBecky before Elizabeth DeBecky. No, that poor woman. Uh, B-E-D before Elizabeth DeBecky. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Round two. All right. B-E-E. I forgot what we were doing. And I was almost like, oh, looking up on IMDb. No, I won't. All right. Right. Get your show with it. Huh? Get your buzzers ready. Okay. Okay. We're to find out who the blonde lady was in Hitch another time someday. Game Master's Clue. Another J Horror remake. This one brought an American TV star of a spooky show to Japan to show just how spooky it gets over there. Another J Horror remake. This one brought an American TV star of an interjupant. The Grudge. It is the Grudge for very good. I couldn't think of it. I'm a sell. I'm, yeah, I knew Sarah Michelle and sitting there. I'm like, tough. Five to six. If I saw that, it was so long ago. I don't remember it. It's sort of weird to, I think like obviously the ring, you know, they move it all to the Pacific Northwest. It's like the American remake. It's sort of weird to just bring it American over to Japan. And like, ew, this is weird.

7:04Yeah, you gotta do that. You know, bring the story here. Don't bring the character there. Because that's what they did. Similarly with that Jennifer Connolly J Horror remake. Dark water at this. It's called. She's living on Roosevelt Island. The most wanted place in New York City. That's where I got a little confused. Cause Joshua Jackson, I believe, is the lead of shutter. Yes. Yes. I remember the last shot of that movie. Very well. It fucking eaked me out. It's a sneaky movie. Okay. You're around three. Three. Okay. Game Master's clue. Roger Ebert has a pro quote. The shot is just a real quote. It is. It's a real quote. All right. Roger Ebert has a pro quote in the trailer. Calling this sequel the best superhero movie ever made. And yes, Chris Gaben. Spider-Man too. It is Spider-Man. It has to be Spider-Man too. Look at that. You can quote him without making shit up. We're going to go through a quick bonus round. Okay. Sci-fi sequel. So this movie is a sci-fi sequel. Sure. Spider-Man is a sci-fi sequel.

8:06So I'm going to give you the year. And you have to, it's going to be no one's buzzing. And I'm going to go and Andrew. Chris and Aaron. Weird. One at a time. Okay. And I will give you the year and know it's a sci-fi sequel. It's the number two. It's always the number two. So it's the two that's good to know. The year and you can either ask for the tagline or the fifth bill action. So we were you're saying that this VHS tape had three sci-fi sequels on it? No, no. The bonus game. The bonus game. Oh, it's a bonus. And the rules are changing. The changes have turned. These bonuses were literally happening in the last season. I wasn't paying it. That's why you lost. So here we go. I'm a gas problem. I'm probably a gas. If you get it right off the first one, you get three points. And if you need, if you need the second piece afterwards, you can get it for one point. And then if you get nothing. All right. So I have to pick one or the other. Yes. Three or two tagline or the fifth bill actor. Okay. And then you'll get three points.

9:06If you get it off the first thing, if not, I'll give you the other one. Give me one or one point. There we go. And you're first. So Andrew Juppen, round one for you. 1997. Do you want the first, the fifth bill actor or the tagline of the film? Christ. Sci-fi sequel number two, 1997. A dose that dropped in 97. I think I might already know what it is. Let's go with the tagline. Something has survived. It's a lost world dress part. It is. Excellent. Okay. 2013. Same question. Tagline, fifth bill actor. Number two, sci-fi sequel. Well, this is me again. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go all through all the all the rangers and then all the crazy. Okay. Well, this is a big. The big and hard. I'm ready. 2013 sci-fi sequel. So it was a dose in 2013. Oh my god. This one's probably going to be a little harder. Let's go with the tagline again. Beyond darkness lies greatness. Oh,

10:07we 2013. Beyond darkness lies greatness. This, uh, oh, I don't know. Attack of the Titans. It's not attack of the cut. Titans, you're out. All right. That's it. If you if you wanted the fifth bill actor, you would have found out it was Carl Urban because it is Star Trek into dark. Star Trek into darkness. That's a terrible tagline. Yeah, I forgot. The other. I totally forgot that I could have done that one. Too well to get bad. Yeah, I'm sorry. I haven't learned. 1992. Okay, 1992. Oh, oh, I can't wait to whiff it every single one. Let's go to let's try the fifth bill this time. Big mistake. Earl Bowen. We fucking 92 sci-fi sequels. I'm just gonna say what? Yeah, number two. Oh, you don't have to guess. You can also get the tagline if you want the tagline. Oh, okay. Yeah, so let's do that. Uh, tagline is this time he's back for good. 1992. Earl Bowen. This time. I won't get Earl Bowen.

11:08He's back for good. Is it Batman Return? It is true. It's two judgements days. Who's Earl Bowen in that movie? He is the the doctor and the psychiatrist there. Oh, okay. Sure. Now I know his name. Chris Cabin. Okay, I'm not sorry. 2002. Tagline fifth billed actor. I'll give me a tagline. Time to put on the last suit you'll ever wear again. Oh, easy. Is it? Yeah, I don't know. I'm gonna get another. Oh, really? Oh, damn. You know, you know, you know, you know, the actor is not giving me one second. Earl Bowen. Is he Earl Bowen? Oh, Earl Bowen. Okay. 2002. What was going on? Oh, man. Give me the fifth. Uh, it is Rosario Dawson. It's the fifth billed actor. Oh, he gets Rosario. I can fucking Earl Bowen. I'm trying to put on the last suit. You'll ever wear again. Previous episode. But it's a sequel. It's a sequel to number two. Because I'm thinking of a different movie. Yeah, I'm thinking of the same one.

12:08No, I'm not that. I mean, like, I am really. All right. We're going to call it. Yeah, no, uh, men in black too. Yeah. Oh, shit. I was just a fucking dare. Oh, she's the young. Okay, yes. She do double. She's in the daredevil TV show. She's not the, yeah, yeah. Fucking too much. Fuck. 2018. Okay, 2018. Tagline fifth billed actor. 20. Damn. Let's go with fifth billed actor. Charlie day. Charlie day. Charlie day. It's five. Sequel 2018. 2018. Oh, I'm going to guess this. Go for it. Pacific Rim uprising. It is Pacific Rim uprising. Big mistake. Come to the harder we fight. I think that's the only one I got so far. Good job, Eric. I think it happens on your turn. Last one for Chris. Nothing. Sure. 1986 tagline. Six. Shit. Fifth billed actor. Oh, dosen 86 side by sequels. Come on, big daddy. Give me the tagline. This time there's more.

13:09Next time there's more, which could be the sequel for any move that I'm going to say. All right, so we got the tagline for the sequel, right? It's this time there's less. Some there's more. Do you want the fifth billed actor as well? I'm not sure if that's going to help. It might. Rosario Dawson. Lance Henrickson. 1986. This time there's more. Lance and Lance Henrickson. You got this. No, I do not. Also, period of the episode. Not the one I was thinking. Thinking brown one. Recently played Manhattan on 70 millimeter. God, there's more now. There's more. From once. Now there's more. All right, no, I know. Aliens. I knew that one. There's more. Okay, so Eric Zeska. 2003. Yes. tagline fifth billed actor. Tagline. You are not here to make a choice, but you're here to understand why you've made it.

14:11That sucks. I know this previous episode. You well, they're all previous. Really. 2003. And what was it? What was the tagline? You are not here to make a choice, but you're here to understand why you've made it. Do you want the fifth billed actor? Yes, I do. Jada Pinkett Smith. Jada Pinkett's. Oh, okay. Wow, there are four of these. There are four of these with movie star Jada. She's in some not all. Some of them, not all of them. Earl Bowen. I don't have it. It's Matrix. We're loaded. Oh, right. Okay. Here we go. 2009. Tagline or fifth billed actor. Oh, it's me again. 2009. Let's do tagline. Only one team will transform your summer. This sucks. This is a terrible game.

15:13Who's going to transform your summer? The fifth billed actor. It is John Tatturo. Who will not? And a sci-fi sequel from 2009. Yeah. And they're transforming my summer. They're going to transform your whole f**k. Tug-tug time machine. I don't transform it. I venture the f**k out. God, dude. F**k that. No, I don't think you're going to get it. Does that think you're going to get it? 1990. Tagline or. Tagline. Invisible? Invisible. The ultimate hunter. This time, Los Angeles, 1997. The third or two. The third or two. The fifth billed actor. The fifth billed. Paxton. With a bun and gravy. Hey, come on. Hell yeah. That's fun. I like that. I like that. Okay. I like that. So this is a sequel that we got. We start with a previously on the resident evil. A good two and a half minute or two. They're making sure you got every dumb detail of that first movie, fam. And I have to say I was like considering trying to rewatch the first one. Oh, thank God. Didn't have it. You know, didn't have the time. I put this on. I'd never seen it before. I put it on.

16:13I was like, oh, good. A refresh. I would argue. It doesn't really matter. No, it's like I don't think it weighs in on what's going on here at all. I could I say that I think this movie is much better than the first movie? I agree with you actually. I think it kind of fun with it. It's not good by any stretch of the imagination. Yeah. The action is kind of migraine inducing because of the cutting and it's really bad. It's really bad. But it's dumb. And you know why? Because it doesn't think it's a horror movie at all. It's like it's a here's a dumb stupid side by action. I mean, you're exploring outdoors versus hallways and the outdoors are cheap as shit. Don't get me wrong. But I mean, the thing is is like a this is just the way I am and I know people flip on this. I am more forgiving of a stupid action movie than I am of a stupid horror movie. I don't know what it is with me. I like the fighting. Maybe it's just the fighting guy because because that I essentially don't I think these are equally bad in my head. But I enjoyed watching this more than the first one.

17:14I agree too. Yeah. I honestly don't remember and the funny thing is whenever we did that first movie for whatever reason I never logged the rewatch on letterbox. I know I don't like it. I know I saw it in theaters the one time. It wasn't crazy about it. This was just so stagnant. This was like looking at water in a bucket. Like there's no energy to any of this movie. The action is fucking DOA in my opinion. I'm sitting there dude. She's fist fighting this big dumb ass thing at the end of the movie. If I was with all the people in the room maybe in my dog know you said it all. I think we can just conclude this episode here. I gotta say I give it a half extra star because then this looks dumb as shit. And he's so much fun to look at. I don't know man. I don't mind his that is Matt. Excuse me. My favorite thing about that guy is when he cool-aid man's a wall. What are we going to do? I threw a wall. He's kind of like BDSM Robocop a little bit. You know what I mean? He's wearing like a fucking apron.

18:15Like he kind of looks like a fucking garage sale center bite. For sure. And this apron like it should be a thing. I couldn't help but thinking about onslaught. I was like this guy should be called like the butcher. I'm like one of those names. Like because we're kind of they don't because we're saying Nemesis program. Yes. But they are hesitant to call him Nemesis which the video game series does actually do. That what I need is more of these guys. I need you to get me. I don't care if it is just a Senate bite ripoff. Do that. I don't care. I need a couple of these fellows. The whole skinnering guys around the church. I'm like give those guys like a minute to be looked at and like make some some make up to make it so like when can stand up and look at them for a minute. Because they're not all I need. They're not confident in the CGI of those things. That's why they're shitting the dark ceiling of a church the whole time. Cool. But yeah so this whole thing we see like this. I like the one thing that's kind of neat is like the suburb of raccoon city. What's really neat is raccoon seven the local news channels.

19:18I just thought that was nice to see that they have their locals. And my god I'm Terry Morales. By the way 625 AM. Living and breathing Roger Ebert when he wrote that review talked about how stupid the name raccoon city is. Yes. And he's so fucking right. It's hard to say raccoon city with a straight face isn't it? How would that be the name of a city? It's cute when it's a video again like there are certain things in a video game that you can get away with when an actor has to look at you but we have to get out of raccoon city. Well that's how you knew that last one was really going to fucking bottom out immediately. It's calling you you movie resident evil welcome to raccoon city. I forgot I was like a bandage ship. We're going to show like the new Craig or movie I guess is not very excited for not using like the video game lore so people are. I think because that's what they do. But like why would like Liz if I was hired to direct this I would believe in raccoon city on the day. Oh dude I think I got you. I think that the raccoon city is in the movie. I think that he's using parts of the lore but they're like why aren't you using this character or that character. Because you have one should be at and yes because he has his own ideas.

20:21Yeah just fucking leave it alone. He's going to make a good movie. Leave it alone. You've had six bad ones. Yes. You've got all the raccoons city you've got hours of this piece of shit franchise. Yes. Do you kidding me? At for I know. I know. I know. For all I know that new one is terrible and you were right. Welcome to raccoon city's wonderful. Hey folks. Today's episode on resident evil apocalypse is brought to you by him. So whether you want to be in better shape to outrun a zombie hoarder just feel healthier during these last gasp of summer weather weeks. Weight loss by him's can help you hit that goal. Weight loss by him's now offers access to the FDA approved. We gov pill and we gov pen. We gov is designed to help you lose weight and keep it off so you can show up this summer or get ready to outrun a legion of the undead while feeling like yourself. Through him's everything happens online so you'll connect with a license provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed your medication is delivered right to your door no insurance necessary.

21:21And with a range of affordable GLP1 options, him's makes it simple to find a weight loss approach that fits into your world and your wallet if eligible. Visit hymns.com. It's very disclosure day the news report. You get this like weather lady. I just kept that good old disclosure day. Yeah. Oh right. She's talking about like the heat wave that records. And it's in degrees out today. I think about like a bird that has like no feathers that is like sick that flies in and talks talks to her. That could be like disclosure though.

22:23Mets resident evil. Right. Did anybody read on the trivia like why they have that heat wave line? No. Because like I guess somewhere along the way somebody was like in that first movie they ate sexy enough. What? So then they're in like I guess one character is video game accurate and the other one's just not but still scantily clad against. Jill Valentine is a seal new Gilroy's character is in whatever that the one that's just like Laura Croft that I'm party. Max some cover come to life. It's ridiculous. Why aren't they in their panties? I don't understand it. It took me like 15 minutes to realize that's a different character than Alice. That's a different actress. Yeah. They look very similar. Yeah. They do. Sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off. What was I saying about oh, welcome to our city because the reason why this woman says the thing about the heat wave is because Mule Joe they were like why are they scantily clad blah blah. And she was like well if it was hot out they'd have to be wearing that stuff. So there's a fucking heat wave line put in. According to IMDB I don't know if someone ripped that from a commentary or what?

23:26I think I spy'd a man in a jacket in this room. He has quite a few men with long pants on the not all word shorts. Yeah. Well then they filmed this in Toronto and it was called this fuck show. They all got screwed over. But I do like the whole thing like it's this nice suburb of Reckons City and then we like go underground. I like that shot of going under and the entrance to the hive is right there. We have a lot like the voice was like underground the hive. We got a lot of like disclaimers already called the the what about it? Ketter this is where you are like just like a car. Mark Chris catches and then you get like the sochi and such Ravens Gate Bridge. I'm like that doesn't I don't need to know it's Ravens Gate Bridge. Well no I need to know that because in Resident Evil gives a shit there was one level that they've said exactly you got to go to the Ravens Gate Bridge and now it's there in a elbow in my buddy in the theater and the dents you read it. It's the only way and you're out of racon city. But that's a mess that they make for themselves because it's not with the car like the umbrella corporation like does that. They're like yeah everything it's just the bridge now so they all got to go to the bridge or whatever.

24:28You know how about calling it like oh we're down in the RC. You know like oh yeah I see the Kansas City. Oh yeah. No let's allow me to spend three hours expanding to you how important it is. Well HR raccoon founded raccoon city both he was a man who had a raccoon wife as well. It was a very disgusting mayoral run. We never liked seeing them at public events. Right they left Springfield to marry their raccoons. It's disgusting. But you mentioned the raccoon city news or whatever. When they they was like raccoons would be news like you hear before you see it and I was like please let it just be a little guy reading the news. Because that's not all I hear raccoon city news. I'm like oh what's up with raccoons city news. This week dumpsters being rated all over the city. I was something if that was the change cragger was defending all the time that I'm really making happy. Talking animals dude. I absolutely get Bradley Cooper back boys sort of fucking raccoon. Why not? But there's still the umbrella corporation.

25:31I need to know what their books are like. So like yeah we need to keep fucking around with this T virus and there's like they go down there and some guys like I think there's only one zombie. Oh no it's overrun by jambi. There's the one guy like they open the door whatever that zombies yet though he gets fucking got by like a monster. I think it's like red because you see like a brolly get the teeth and whatever. Yeah those guys are liquors FYI. So of course why are they making liquors again I know liquor would be great to me. Because like there's these guys you're waging war on some place right. You get a couple of liquors in like a plane. We're something great. Fly over dump them liquors down. What is the world of Resident Evil are we at war? Are we making this for any fucking. Any time that doesn't matter. It's all right. If it wasn't in the game don't think about it. No matter. Super science is always like it's for military reasons. Don't worry about it. It's like we have their faces. Look the idea that Nemesis himself is like this super soldier is very funny to be like is he going to do espionage?

26:32Like that he can only really use this guy for so much which is like dropping them onto the battlefield. Exactly. And he just like merks dudes. But yeah he can't be like romancing a sexy lady at a fucking evil guy's evil guys fundraiser or something he can go in. It's just Nemesis. A pig guts ground not splattered please. Yes, that's me. Matt Nemesis. Yeah. Oh my god. Does somebody clean you? The smell that is coming off your back side. I run a local oil concern. I'm not with the umbrella corporation. They really should have just done like take two with this dude because when he mutates and like his head clearly has split open and they've just lazily stapled it back together. No. Come on man. No thank you. This poor guy. I'm sorry. So you're going to have to leave the bacharot table because you have staples in your face. Very good. Me. And then the bathtub woman from the shining could be a Nemesis girl.

27:33This is my girlfriend. Rotten vagina. Yes, yes, perfect name for her. Table for children. Someone's killed rotten vagina. And I'm going to find out who you have an uncooked steak in your garbage. Please bring that out for my lovely lady. Instead of money, Penny, it's like rusty coins. So we have the idyllic suburb that we started with has a bunch of fucking RVs racing through it. We see these umbrella guys pick up some scientist lady who means nothing to no one. She's in this scene and then the last scene of the movie literally. I just hear there's been an incident three times in a row. I guess we're just showing what Jared Harris should have done, which is just leave with these dudes and he would have been all right. Just leave with these dudes and they didn't have to be biting major cane as a zombie. But we have to save his eerie, bitish daughter who I guess was the computer program in the first movie.

28:33I assume that the red sound is designed after the daughter of the creator of the TVIres. So yes, you got to remember there are many thrilling sequences of him searching things on the internet and through the world's databases with the world's tiniest glasses. I mean, they're barely covering his eye sockets. I thought half the lenses broke. They wouldn't see this on Amazon. Oh yes. Yes. So the description of an Amazon was like Jared hair. No, HBO's Chernobyl's. Jared has to be the rock. I'll go team through. They're like saying it's like Jared Harris move on. No, that's fucking. I'm kind of excited for a second. Of course you would be. It's Jared Harris leading a movie even if it's this. Let's go. But there's barely any Jared Harris. No, I wasn't on shutter and they rightful. We're like here's a piece of shit. You ready to watch it? I got this on shutter. The shutter. I'm a bitch fucking paid to rent it on Apple for nothing. I know it's just watch. Yeah, just watch. Fuck to me. Fuck me. They always find. You have to look. Yeah, I mean, you got to open the thing sometimes, right?

29:34Yeah, no, I do. I don't trust the letterbox listing anymore. Oh, you don't. Okay. I always use letterbox. No, letterbox maybe has a check. That's what I've been using. Yeah. Oh, yes. An MS is three Jared Harris. You're cute. This toilet paper that you use is exploding. Where's my garbage truck? See it's first. You see you might just think it's a normal roll of toilet paper. But you can unscrew it. There's a grenade inside. I need you to infiltrate trauma, Phil. You see? I first of all, I don't use toilet paper. Second of all, and I hate to do it again. Where's my garbage truck? An Eston Martin garbage truck. I have a license to nauseate. I need you to infiltrate trauma, Phil. I need you to infiltrate trauma, Phil. You see? First of all, I don't use toilet paper. Second of all, and I hate to do it again. I was like, oh, it smells like shit. These are the ideas that Amazon MGM is throwing around

30:34for a bit of a big one. White tuxedo. A dinner cut that's not stained. It's permeating sweat. It was white when I know it's a white body. It was white when I started wearing it. Oh, my juice is junk through. And unsurprisingly, the pits were the first to go. Double O, you didn't wear your tactical diapers. I'm gonna see the brown stain on the back of your trousers. So yeah, one lady scientist down, Jared Harris, hey, there's been an incident we gotta go. He's like, I'm not going anywhere without my daughter. Yes. And then they're like, don't worry, that's been handled. Dude, show up at this girl's school. Get the girl. Take her in the car instantly, T-bone by a cement truck. Let's see if it kicks cement truck in the car. I don't know what this is. What's their story? I have no idea. It's not even like there's a, nobody even knows that the city's under siege it. So it's not like, oh, in a mad panic. You're gonna get down there and freak that fucking shot. Fuck, I told you last week. Oh, I'm gonna get fucking fired. Oh my God, did I just T-bone in SUV? It doesn't matter. Keep it fired.

31:34Keep going, keep going. It just, it sets up the movie, but you need to set that up a little bit, right? You gotta have something like what? Because you are, I guess if you think about it, like it is that, it's the freak out. But like we haven't seen the freak out yet. And like it's just that and then no more freak out for a little while. So it doesn't feel like the madness has truly started yet. Because I think what we're putting together here, it's a not well edited movie. No. Because also with this part, when the T-bone, because it's like a, you just see this line of the black SUVs, right? And then it just cuts and one of them gets T-boneed. But it's so badly edited, you can't tell right away that it's the car carrying the girl. I will say it was surprising. So it was sort of effective just because it was loud. Yes, sure. Anything to wake you up. Yes. And it's only like seven minutes into the movie. Speaking of waking up, here comes Milo Jovich naked on an examining table. I think this is a deleted scene. Every movie with Milo Jovich starts with her naked in a medical facility.

32:35It's all Lilo Dallas multi pass. I think there's a deleted scene and days did confuse with that character. We said they could be in a medical center. It was Led Zeppelin is playing in the background. Can't forget though that in between Alice being revived here and the T-boneing is the, it's just we're doing a lot of this in this movie. 13 hours later. Hey fantastic. Sure. Who could care with the numbers? And this is the introduction. Unlucky number. That's also true. This is the introduction of Jill Valentine. Who is this? We, there's all these like news, clippings of in her own house where it's like disgrace. She got duped. What something, something I read in the internet that it's possible what those news clippings are referring to. She's a character from the first game. Correct. So it's possibly setting up that, oh, the first, the real good movie happened in between this movie and not. No, I think it's before the first movie. I see the mansion incident. Oh, yeah. A famed journalist duped. I would like to see it. I would like to read that. And so she like sees what's going on on the television

33:35and she goes down to this police station. And there's, these, this is where we first see like real zombie action happening. And she just starts shooting these zombies in the head and all these cops are like, hey, who's firing a gun? And she's like, I told you they were infected. Well, what is, so many of them. What is any of this? Why I was like, Oh, look, it's Alice. And she's got a new look. Why does she know to shoot the zombie? Because whatever happened, the mansion incident, which we haven't seen again in a cross cut for four point four seconds. See, if you couldn't, if you didn't pause it to read all those newspaper clippings, you don't know what she knows. I also love, we've talked about the outfit. It's ridiculous. But she knows she's going into a zombie apocalypse. She dresses herself right here. Exactly. It wasn't like John McLean had his shoes off and then all the shit went down like, you were at home watching TV. You could have put sweats on. And I would say leather. I would wear leather pants leather jacket. I'm going out like a biker because the zombie shit bites through the road. I probably, that's when contrast. Yeah, I got a pair of pants. I don't know about that. Yeah, it's a hot day.

34:36I'm sweating already. You see the weather? Oh, do you see Ratcoons City news weather? Can I? You know how to talk? Try keeping underwear in place with something like that. It's just not possible. Yes, and Mrs. here's your trademark leather apron for you to wear. Burnt down, Donald Brown. I got you. Get me in the back first. You see, number says, this is family in Texas. We need you to check out. I have a pen, I have a pen arch for the chain song on it. On it. But this is your like introduction to this story to video game character, Joe Valentine. Might I suggest? Hmm. Just a quick extra take on this line of, I told you they were infected. Oh, yes. Yep. Oh, we take with this actress also. I'm sorry. I know it's in the video game and I played the video game and I actually remember this character from the video game. Sure. Stupid name. Jill Valentine, yeah. Valentine. Yeah, it's not the best of all. And Ratcoons City.

35:36Oh, dude, yeah, Jill Valentine moving the big old Ratcoons City baby. Yeah, that's a sitcom I wouldn't watch. Me Jill Valentine, she's immediately fucking dead. Oh, you want to get to know her too fucking bad? By the way, if we take two on everything, see how she says, we might be here all night. Yeah, that's not gonna be a bad thing. Sometimes you gotta call printing though you're not thrilled with the take. I'm sure she's a very nice person. I was speaking to people who it's surprising was not dead immediately. Mike Epps says LJ right there. This dude being harassed by like zombie sex worker while he's handcuffed to a bench. And she like, she pulls the gun and he's like, oh no, this woman's gonna shoot me and then she shoots the handcuffs off. Which your cop take the fucking handcuffs off, but what are you doing blowing this guy's ears out? She's like, everybody has to get out of here right now. Goodbye, everybody. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Now we got Mike Epps in the movie. Thanks for nothing. Well, Mike Epps is like desperately trying to be in this movie and like he keeps getting lost along the way.

36:40It's a comic relief to a fault somehow. It's just like a little too much that you were just there for the audience, which I guess something has to be for the first 45 minutes. He's driving alongside the movie and then he's part of the team. It's a boy. But aside from his wardrobe, he doesn't have a super power. He's not a police person. He's not Alice with the T virus thing that she's gonna know. He's got his custom gold-plated hands on. I guess that is it, but we barely get to see him. I don't think he even really gets to use it all. His power is his comedic reaction. They apparently wrote this for Snoop Dogg and then he dropped out or something. You know, probably better without him. Yeah, I like the distraction. Like Snoop Dogg's good and certain things like, what was it training day? He's a bone soul. He's a very watchful soul plane. Yeah, I mean, he's a good presence when he actually likes the material. But Mike Epps can just blend into a movie. Yeah, it might be in the movie. If Snoop Dogg is there, Snoop Dogg is the movie. I had the least problem with Mike Epps. Oh, so I want a more Mike Epps.

37:40It is hilarious him at the end of the movie in the suit too. But yeah, so Alice wakes up screams immediately. She is totally naked in this empty hospital. And there's a lot of, I believe this was a lot of the advertising for this movie. There's Miele Jovevich like wandering these empty Toronto streets and everything. I like anybody catch the day of the dead reference with the newspaper. Is it dead? Dead wall. I know her walking out of this hospital was a clear 28 days later. Yes. Oh, God, yeah, it's gotta be. But yeah, the dead walk is the same headline at the beginning of day, the dead, which is pretty cool. And there's all these screens because we're living in a screen age now. Boy, I heard bad things about that screen age. But like all this stuff is reminding me of better movies. Don't remind me of better movies. Exactly. We get this. So we see there's some cutting back and forth to that famed, recoon city bridge. This dude came and all these guys are closing it down. You're seeing the people like getting angrier and angrier. They're trying to like get out of the city one by one.

38:41Evil German Thomas Kajchenman. Yeah, dude. Here he is. I'm playing another Nazi scientist. I like this guy. He pops up and said, you know, he's just like a serviceable German character. Come on. Just call him aid off with a PNN. Just do it. Have some fun with it. Stop with this nonsense. You couldn't resist the evil German. You couldn't resist the plucky Soviet officer. Later what he is. I didn't notice that those two dudes were rushing until like way after the one guy from the Titus sit-com had been talking for a long time. Yeah. He doesn't have a lot of dialogue. And then like in the middle when he gets a full set and so he's Russian. Okay. Yeah, that's an interesting. And he was the middle Titus, right? There's an older and a younger. Stacey Keach and then Titus. Stacey Keach would be Titus Prime. Oh, he's the youngest Titus. The youngest. Stacey Keach was the father, you see? I thought there was a young girl after him. What is the youngest one? Middle Titus up to today. Christopher Titus. He had a special recently. I follow him on Instagram. He's a good follow. He's a genuinely good person.

39:43Being reasonable is not going to get you much attention. Exactly. We do have this sequence that I think is kind of interesting. And it almost feels like it's like a proof of concept for another movie or something like that. It's like the woman running up the stairs in the office. She's being chased by all the zombies, which is pretty cool. She's trying to get this like code for the roof door to open. And there's a nice bit of tension here. She's like fighting off the zombies. They bite her and then she gets the code, which is unfortunate, because now all the zombies are out on this roof, which is nice. Well, this episode's brought to you in part by Rocket Money. It's getting towards that time of year again. The stress, my God, the stress. I don't know by you, but I'm trying to have a nice weekend. And I'm constantly thinking about all these subscriptions that I have in canceled. What's hitting my bank account next? Your finances can be overwhelming. I remember back in the day, my grandfather, you know, huddled in the corner with a giant old adding machine, putting in the numbers, really making a show of it. And it took all day. Now you don't have to, you have help.

40:44Help is on the way, dearie, with Rocket Money. Rocket Money contracts subscriptions and it has the ability to cancel your unwanted ones within the app with the few tabs, giving users an easy way to stop paying for things they don't use. What's also great about it is you can set financial goals and budgets, get personalized insights and regular reports, and receive real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds and low balances. So instead of me twiddling my thumbs all weekend, getting worried all about the bank, you know, Rocket Money will let me know if I should be. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. That Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join it rocket money dot com slash W H M. That's rocket money dot com slash W H M. Rocket money dot com slash W H M, which stands for We Hate Movies. Now back to Resident Evil.

41:46But here comes Odin Fair doing like super mission impossible. I don't need a motherfucker jumping off of a helicopter shooting zombies in slow motion. I mean, it's just this weird horror action. Yeah. It also doesn't make sense. Like you're part of this organization. You understand your own mission. I'm not saying follow your orders. I'm saying like, why would you jump off of a helicopter with a bungee cord to save one lone office worker when you know there's bigger fish. It was probably bit anyway. But you fit down there and then she is bit already. She's a waste of time. She immediately kills herself. Yes. Like what the fuck? What was the point of this? Do your little matrix move with your guns. She goes down there and Nikolai tightest junior. She's down there as well. And then like they're now a wall essentially from this unit and she just immediately says, I've seen what happens when people get bitten by these things. There's no way out. She jumps off the roof. Great call. And then the cool concept, one of the worst reaction shots to watching someone jump

42:47off a roof. And then you see just like the little mark of her down there. And we got to do something more. I mean, throw it dummy off of bridge. We would do it for fuckers. It's for 40 years at this point. How about fuck with the sound design? Maybe a big thud. Maybe a squishy thud. Something would be nice. And there's money here. There's not a ton of money. But I'll you know, you can tell there's a little bit of money here. Multiple real life helicopters in the movie. And real deal helicopter rental fees. Yes. The zombies that were chasing her seem to have a similar action. I am. Why should do that? What the fuck? Oh, I should try to eat you instead. So Jill gets to the bridge and she's got a little team here. That's a, there's this other felon. I guess at least to the Wikipedia summary, he's our ex partner. Sure. Cool. Cool. He gets bit like immediately, but keeps fighting the good fights. So you can not like, that's like, that's my problem with watching so much like zombie stuff is like just all the telegraph. Yes. Like, you just, okay. So there's going to be a scene where eventually we're fighting over whether or not she's

43:48going to fucking kill this guy and she'll say something to the effect of when the time comes, I'll do it. And wouldn't you know it? That's what happens. A little bit fair is also a bit. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, you don't know, there might be a cure out there. And you might be right before, you know, something that, no, no, he's that sorry. Crachman is like, listen, everybody, return to your homes because this is it. We're you're locked in here. There's no way off. You might as well go inside your house where it's safer because there are zombies out here. I'm a little confused about, I mean, a lot of things, but is the umbrella corporation like, oh, shit, it's a spill. And then they're like, we can now test the nemesis or was this all a, a, a, a, a, a, a, whoo test an ember. These are questions. These are questions. I think it's like, let's use this cock up to our advantage. I think it's the idea of what AI Ebert would say. No, but like it's, there's, it's, I mean, real life, Ebert, positive, the question in his review of like, how, and how exactly do they make money off of getting everyone

44:48killed with this virus? It's a great question. And the answer is the Vax. Oh, right. Shit. Netflix special. Win. Give it to me. I said it. You know, who's not vaccinated nemesis? Yeah. No, I'm not going to die. Shudderly. That guy's got the TVI as fucking raging through his veins, dude. He's, he's like 90% TVI. Yes. Sure. I am just TVI. It's 100% anywhere you prick. So Jared Harris refuses to leave in like some tent or something. And by the way, Jared Harris is disabled and in a wheelchair, this movie, why? Because I believe he did not want to stand up in this film. Yes, I'll be there. But perhaps I am wheelchair bound. You see, hold on fellas. Maybe there was a guy in the video game. It's very violent. No idea. Well, if he's using the computer soft, wouldn't it make sense for him to be sitting always? That's just how those people are. What if I never stood? What if we did this all on Sunday? I would be done on Monday.

45:49I'm a good actor. I could, I've seen the trip. I did the script. I could do this today. What's this here of a scene with my daughter? Can they be on the phone? I have a phone here at my house, you see? I could just use that one. You know when my father Richard Harris, you might know him as Dumbledore. Wheeeee. The OG, not that piece of shit who took over for him. That's scab. Look, I've mocked up the shots here. We could start at 10. We could be done by six. And then I'm clear. I've done most of your work. And that's when my father Richard Harris would say, is done by six, we're all rich. I know it doesn't rhyme. It's close enough. But it's a good one, all the same. So he's like, look, I refuse to leave without my daughter, the Terrence Zillow story. And Cain, Thomas Kroichman's character is like, okay, fine. Then we're just going to fuck off and leave you here. I'll get my helicopter and have a good day, sir. The people that are around Cain and like these like underlings are not the,

46:53there's full military guard guys. But these, these guys are in like these red, these black suits with the red shirts of the red ties. Yes. They look like waiters in a very expensive restaurant that isn't very good. Like, you know, there's a very expensive shower. Exactly. Sometimes very expensive restaurants don't get me very good. Thank you so much about the wardrobe, not enough but the food. Exactly. I got you. Yeah, you are concerned about the service presentation. Not so much about the food presentation, you see. These chicken nuggets are terrible. So he realizes that his umbrella credentials have been cancelled or whatever. So he uses his daughter's credentials that she has for some reason. I mean, like, is that because she's the avatar possibly? Yeah, it's kind of like how Dave Thomas has adopted daughter Wendy could eat at any of those restaurants. This girl gets login credentials for fucking that would be great. Is the umbrella with Allison? Was there a fake in the Angela's face on it? Yeah, exactly. Make it less scary, not red, queen ship.

47:54Just make it just this little girl. Hi, Rick. Or umbrella, go for it. Seth, could you fill an entire bag with just chicken nuggets? Wendy's here. She just likes a bag of nuggets. Sacful a nugs, please. Yeah. Let's just take those outside and under selling us. You understand? Just sell those nugs for cheap. She's eating it over the garbage. Yeah, and it's really quite disgusting. Oh, she could be an emphasis girl. Oh, yeah. That's a good look at that lady eating over the garbage. She's not even getting all the nuggets in her mouth. Oh, my god, she's sexy. I would like to dumps you, Devon. Yeah. Somebody put on some de-angelo. I fear that I can make it. And yes, I do call it making love. Oh, you've met my number two, Nymus. Yes, trash nuggets. I'm great at playing crap, so the casino that means taking a shit.

48:57No, Nymus, as we keep telling you, it's the dice game. Trash, no, it's, could I take you to the dump one of these nights? The dicey shit. No, Nymus, there's a rive of slime in New York City. I need your attention. Oh, I love to swim. I'm going to make this that your liberty dance. Oh. There's the dock backwards also going on. That's what no one knows about. Quite a lot is happening at the event. Like, what are gross things that you're going to try? Trash, absolutely. The stuff. Homeless people being turned to liquid form. You see street trash. You have to go look into it. You know what? Taste pretty good. This, this, this, you have to down homeless people, which kind of taste you. Nymus, this, you're in most of Larry Cohen's films. You know what I'm saying? He's, you know what? He's a real genius if you get to know him. OK, Nymus. Criminal mastermind belalls. Try and take them a little, man. Slap houses, you see. You have to go investigate them.

49:57Each one. Blendraining. Oh, I love that. You're playing a ball like three card Monti. You are quite a basket case. They keep accusing ball of cheating. Is that keep your hands out of the basket? You're looking at your sense in the cards. I know you can speak English. Just say something. Stop screaming like that. You can agent Nymus. I'm sorry about this for this. One monster yelling to another monster. I know you speak English. Really? Oh, whatever. They start, they say everybody has to leave in five seconds. They really mean it because they said, I think we could stop pulling some punches. I want to see the fire, they fire into the crowd. We don't really see it. I need to see people getting hit. A couple of heads popping here and there. Like, you know, the Romero movie, the, uh, the land of the dead. You start popping people. Yeah, that's exactly.

50:58Yeah. This, this movie could have used the spine of that movie. I would try to do any of that, but, uh, you know, that doesn't happen. We go back to Alice. She finds a gun and clothes store really quickly here. I do like the shot of her with the, the shotgun or whatever, which is kind of cool. But this is where we see she starts. Come on down to Mandy's gun and panty store. That's better than what it is. It's a, uh, a Fremlin surplus. I'm like, are you making a front of Gremlins? I'm going to get into game. I know. I know. This is where we see she starts having flashback. You see the, uh, procedure that was done in her by a mysterious man that will meet for two seconds at the end of the movie. I wish it's just like this guy's in like seven minutes and each, it's a stinger scene that takes about 15 minutes of the film. Is that the Game of Thrones? It's a Game of Thrones. Yeah. Oh, golly see. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Jora, Jora Mont, no, no, Jora Mormon. Yes. Yes. Shadow Mormon Hotel played by Ian Glenn.

51:59Oh, yes. I think. Yeah. That sounds right. I, well, they go. I, I think it's Ian, whatever. Yeah. No, it's Ian. He was saying I, starting another sentence. I think you see, I, because I, I've never seen this movie before. I watched the first movie and I was like, no, thank you. And never watched it. But like, I caught some of this on sci fi. And if you asked me last week, oh, what's Resident Evil Apocalypse? Look, oh, that's the church one. I thought this whole movie took place in this church. Oh, really? When they get to the church, it sort of makes sense to be like, and now we have to defend the church. Because church is generally and stuff. A lot of the like the last stand or the evil dies here. Because I saw like four seconds of this in a church and I'm like, oh, it's got, it's the church. I see. I was about to say, I'm very happy. I'd watch this today because it is a movie that is expressed on the way out of your brain as soon as it is fucking watched. It's going to be a day of affair. If you're talking about it, it really does. You can't touch it. No, isn't there? There's one that takes place in sand or something to the god west after my fine. The next in the next one, they're trying to get to like Vegas.

53:02Yeah, I don't remember any of these details. I thought Apocalypse was like, well, look at that. The whole world says. Yes. No. So I thought this was like a leader. They think eventually it gets to like the world ends. But they mean like zombie apocalypse. Yes. We have to get from raccoon city to Badger County. Just have a, a frontier land. Oh, trouble. Good city. Trouble down in raccoon city. Well, up here in Badgerton, we never had any trouble. I'm going to go to Dingo Lake. Yeah. Badger County. We mind our own business up here. We don't go messing around with no weapon, uh, deviruses down there. No, but my wife was eaten by his own. Well, you know, I'm not originally from Badgerton. Thanks for asking me. From Wolverineville. Uh-huh. Nah. Welcome to Wolverineville. It's not what you think. Population me in my family, which is plentiful. And yes, I'm married to most of them.

54:03We run the post office and the grocery store and the mechanics. I'm also your mayor and senator. Soon I'll be your living God. And it's a call. I'm buying the gas station next week. Um, so this is, uh, yeah, Jill and, and co get to the church. Yes, Sergeant Wells. This dude, Raza don't be playing this guy. He was in like doom and black Hawk down. Uh-huh. Doom's specifically not this guy's first rodeo with video game. I mean, very doom with nemesis and all this goblin. Big time. And there's like nervous guy there that we got to care about. Nervous guy who's like, he's like, uh, Alan Tudyk stunt double. Yeah. I don't even think you get a name on this guy's dead in seconds. Cause he's like, oh, you know, find your own church or whatever. Like, oh, that's kind of fun. And then like, I get like, because the editing is so poor. Like Jill, like leaves and like a real is missing. And then she goes into this room where like this priest has his own sister tied up. I'm like, what movie am I watching right now?

55:05This is, this is the part where I'm like, uh, like I picked up a little bit. Cause it's like, it's a cool idea. Yeah. The priest his sister has turned into his zombie helper. And this motherfucker is feeding her. Yes. Which is great. I mean, that's the thing is you, if you centered around human mo, human emotions like that of people trying to have, I don't know, like Jared Harris wants to save his daughter, but that's not enough. No, no one actually care about another human being. And this character, this priest that's a throwaway is the only one I've seen really do it. Well, it's an idea. It's a creative idea. But again, this, this movie, I think unlike Kregger is does want to be more like what the game is. So it's like, let's go back to those things. That's not spent too much time on something like this, whereas something like 28 days later would take time to play with the ideas and have fun with it and get to some of the emotions underneath. Cause like 80 seconds, this whole sequence where she's like, you're feeding your sister that sick and then just shoot her dead. Oh, good. Because it's the guys like, please don't knock on me. I know it's fucking weird. And then like the sister gets up from the chair somehow and just bites this dude immediately.

56:06Yeah. And that's, you know, that's the end of that. See Jill like take that dude out. He had a fucking shoot that priest in the end. Who are they going to bark to the umbrella corporation who are going to look at this and be like, pretty cool. You've been feeding people to your sister. That's pretty cool. Somehow we have royalties. Every time somebody is bitten by his son, we make 18 cents. Don't ask why. Don't ask why. I want that priest who got his daughter to eat people. I want him in charge of one of my units. We should say also at this point, we've also gotten into the group, the sundry and halt who plays Terry Morales who I think is another video game character. This woman was in the shrouds among other things. Yeah. Oh, that's it. She is. Yeah, she's the rich lady in the red. The journalist that's carrying the video camera. The little handy guy. And she's filming stuff and it's like, what's that? Well, if we make it out of here, it's my Emmy. Well, I mean, and she's also a character, you know what I mean? And she dies very unceremoniously. This is not gonna be a get it. But like, if I have to choose between Jill Valentine, Alice and this journalist character,

57:09I want to watch more of the journalist character, age, the best actress of the bunch. And B she like has motivations and thoughts and feelings. There's a goal there, yeah, as opposed to being bad at a certain end. We've trashed found footage a lot on this show. We kind of praise those elements and back rooms on our commentary track and our Patreon. That's available soon. But like, that's available now. That's available now. Yeah, but I would like, I wouldn't mind seeing more of this like in that mode of like, here's her footage of what's going on. It can be done well. There are times when that stuff is done well. The record movies, the first two at least, I think are really good versions of found footage as full movies as compared to just these one little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was trying to think, oh, the way that the news footage work and there's kind of an interesting thing. But of course it is just like shoehorned at the end of the movie where you realize like they get her tape out and it's yes, it's part of like her filming and everything. And then also like this vlog that Milo Joe, if it's records at one point, they send it

58:13to the news. And I like that idea of like the news reports on and they're like, holy fuck, look what, you know, the umbrella corporation did. And then as it plays, you see the news media switched the story to, oh, the people at the big bad company told us that was a hoax. And we of course believe the big bad company. What's this? But Terry, what's this? Oh, yeah, I was also, I was in New York for the Cloverfield thing. I got a little bit faster through the Cloverfield stuff. It's fine. Yes, that's right. Namacist. There's a big guy. I love it. I came down from a comet, don't you see? I do. I do have the ending with it because we'll just talk about it now. And when she does the, when they're talking, the news is like, oh, and ex anchor woman, Terry, such and such. I'm like, she died. She didn't get fired. Like, you can't call her ass. Like, is she like a former? Yeah, exactly. It's just, it's odd to be like, do you want to depart it? You wouldn't call like, what do you call it there? Edward Arboro and ex news, man. Look at him. He died. You know what I mean? She picked apart like ribs by a bunch of fucking children. It's the only thing that's happening here.

59:16That's a little. I mean, there's a thing, this movie is 86 minutes before the credits. Yeah. That's the whole movie. Yeah. And so anyway, in this church, they fucking kill this come out. Yeah. They look like shit. They look terrible. Fake Alan Tudor gets it like immediately. We start trying to shoot at these things. And then man, I, there is a limit to how bad ass something can look before it is just embarrassing and hilarious. I'm sorry. Her coming through the stained glass window on this motorcycle as well as the stupidest things I've ever seen in my life. It's holy fuck is it done? It's very poochie ass. Yeah. Look how fucking cool this character is. It's very video game cutscene. Yeah. I know, you know, they kind of made her character. I guess she's sort of like Ripley from Alien Resurrection. Yeah, because she's got the TV. I think she's all manipulating. They didn't give Ripley four different entrance scenes. Like she's a rip. She's a rip. She's a rip. You're so kind of dealers are honored to help the community. Our program started the first deaf and hard of hearing football team of its kind in our

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1:01:23room room off a ramp or something and hit this liquor and then she shoots the gas tank of the motorcycle and blows all these things up all in this church by the way take that Jesus. Well, one of these liquor's there's cross is crushed by the cross. Yes. Yeah. Saying something there. Saying a little something. Oh. It's just these big old CGI tongues. Yeah. And did I catch a predator laugh in there like one of them makes a noise and it sounds like the. I wish that I wish that loveable. Oh, showed up in this. And Jill Valentine with one of the worst line deliveries of who the fuck are you? Oh, isn't that bad? It's like a slow smell. Fuck. I'm Alice. All right. And the one guy left it and I said yeah. Alice through the stained glass. Oh, and like all these games, I thought this was actually kind of funny. I do like the they fire widely and all the things were never before she does the motorcycle

1:02:25move. And they're like, Oh, no, we're out of bullets. We got to get more ammo and it's like just like that frustrating fucking game. You better not save your game if you're low on ammo. You know what? I mean, all the you guys want these movies to be accurate to the game. Or why why are why am I not moving a file cabinet for like an hour? Totally. I got to inspect a bookshelf. See which one opens the secret passage. I played Resident Evil 1 and 2 and I am done. Are you spending 20 minutes looking for a key? I gotta say if not, did you play the remake? I did. No, no, it's a Requiem. It's a new game for on Switch 2. It was fun as fuck. You really went through fast. I did. You really liked it. It's really cool. Okay. Speaking of other video games, Mike Epps driving over some zombies right here. He also GTA motherfucker. 10 points. And he sees those topless zombies and like they're the heir to the Oh Henry Bar can before he crashes. Dude, he is considering an evening with these zombie prostitutes a little longer than he

1:03:25showed us. That's taste. You just did some dead titties and you go crazy. Come on now. They're women. They're nemesis girls. That's just a nemesis on a cover with two dead zombies on one arm. How to get the babes back in your life. I mean, we need disgusting bond like super nasty. And we're not going to do it with a mon star. You need like a fat pig. Wait, wasn't that what they tried to do with that Larry the cable guy spy movie? Yeah, kind of sort of. Wait, what's that movie? Dude, I think it's him and Jenny McCarthy. There's a wait list protection and no, he's not a spy. No, there's another. Is it the movie where Larry the cable guy's like a secret agent? Yeah, do we make this? No, no, it's real thing. Is it real thing? What's the second one? We did two. We did two Larry the cable guy. We're done with all the Larry's, I believe, but there was one where he isn't witness. That's one, but then there's another one where he's a spy because there's he's he's stupid and they crash in Mexico and think it's the middle.

1:04:26That's the far. That's Delta far. Uh, jingle all the way to which this is not fucking spy. There's health inspector, wait list protection. Oh, health inspector. He's kind of the spy. Yes. Oh, no, he's not. He's not. He gets a disfired venture into a spy. Yes, that's that's one thing because there's always a the poster like him with a gun. Yeah, the bad. And that's all Jenny McCarthy in it, I think. But nemesis. Yes, manish. Right. Not fresh. Oh, here you are, Mr. Nemesis. Hey, cool. Someone's ordered my dish. This is my wish kit. How cool are you going to get microwave co-slot to? Oh, man, I tried to wear nemesis this outfit. It didn't fit me. It's a little small. Did you get a little bit more mold on this bread? I don't like the fresh stuff. I don't want to complain, but I can't eat not moldy bread. By the way, guys, here's your Wikipedia plot summary for your spy. Larry, the kid will get a movie. Sure. Larry, a municipal restaurant health inspector is assigned a new rookie partner after recklessly closing restaurants for code violations.

1:05:29And together, Larry and Amy work to solve a series of food poisoning at four star restaurants. Oh, that's your spine. A little bit of a mystery there. That's something for nemesis, I think. This buffet is in clear violation of all the health codes. Not nearly enough. Not to your buffet. They leave the church pretty quickly and unceremoniously. They're just on the road in a graveyard. They go to a cemetery eventually. And the thing that you're reminded of right here is one of the reasons I don't like. I don't like when there's no real reason for everyone in the movie not to meet each other at the movie. Yes, for sure. And this is like because you got a Odede Faire's team and then you got our team with Alice and everybody. And it's just two movies. And the thing is they know that the story engine is with Alice and Cole. Sure. So you got Odede Faire and the two Russian guys. And I think there's a larger team at the start. But like they're just walking through the streets, killings, zombies.

1:06:32Every time you cut back to them, it's just that in like a different Toronto with intersection. Some sub mud vein new metal going on in the back. Oh, you don't have it. And those guys are not even recruited until Jared Harris sees them on like a closer cut television. Yeah. And calls a cell phone nearby. Yep. To get them in on the scheme. Much like Joey Pants and Men Night Run. He's getting two teams. He doesn't want to. That's right. Just to Alice. He's got to get another one in there. He does want to make sure the job is done. That's true. But you know, dead Faire and crew, they do request like a chopper evac, which we see later. They get ignored, which is kind of funny. But yeah, we are walking through a cemetery with Alice and everybody. She's given her back story here. And I'm like, the movie started with the back story. I don't need more of it. I just, I truly don't need to hear it again, but we go through the whole thing or whatever. And then this is, this is the conversation. Oh, Peyton, you were bit. You got to kill him now. I'm not going to kill it. If that zombie scene happens, then all the zombies raise from the grave, which seems not like a T virus thing.

1:07:36More like you're in the wrong movie, folks. I was like, what are we doing now? The T virus rained down on the ice. I think the funny thing is, dude, if the trivia is to be believed, it's the, you know, it would be believed it's the reverse of that. And like under that cemetery was supposed to be part of the lab and the gas. That's cool. That's something. Can I see there? Yeah, as opposed to like just someone guessing on fucking I.M.D.B. about it. Like, yeah, show that happening. Have a little effect shot of the gas, like leaving the ceiling. Maybe like, you know, like zombie, you know, fucking umbrella co like technicians down there in the tunnels. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. But I think that's what I think the thing is, I think that's what I think is like the thing is that the gas rises above the gas. Instead, this is just when Barton Lisa raised the dead. Yeah. Did you crash the car? No. Did you raise the dead? Yes. But the car is okay. The action just sort of like, and again, I don't like this movie, but I had more fun with it than maybe others.

1:08:41The action's bad. The only thing in this cemetery fight that's worth anything is Alice does this back kick move and kicks this zombie in the chin like she's a fucking horse. I don't know how Miele got her leg up that far backwards like it is an incredible stunt. The, I mean, this movie is directed by a dude who is a second unit director who never really was more than that. He didn't direct the movie again until 2013 or some shit. It's not, it's not super competent. You didn't pull it. Don't you say what you want? Yes. It'd be better than this. He's competent. The man is competent. Yep. Um, after that horse kick, we go back to Major Cain and would you know it? It's time to activate Nemesis. Oh shit. Dense, dense, dense. Nice. There we go. I, I, I, I, Nemesis doesn't make a ton of sense because he's just, why does he need to be so hulking and gross if he's just going to use guns all the time? Because I think the thing was he, it was an accidental mutation. I never, because like he and Alice got the same thing.

1:09:42She became a superhero and that happened to Matt. That's got to be, that's got to annoy you. Like, so you look like me, Ligzo, Rich. And I look like where are your face tables? My, my favorite thing about that scene when they activate your own negative and she's a positive. That's just how it works. Oh, you're Nemesis. That's your brand. What I like most about that scene is it comes in and it's like boss. The T viruses at critical levels here. The infection levels is critical. Cut to the screen. Infection critical. Come on. Yeah. That's because that's how you know that dude wasn't lying to him. And immediately. Yes. Like the activation Nemesis. And Nemesis, they can kind of control him at this juncture. And he's like, again, RoboCop asked, you know, how many people? Because Mike F. finds his way into a police station or a stars station. Yeah. It's a, it's an abandoned movie theater filled with those agent dudes.

1:10:44Stars. We keep saying star. Yeah. What are those again? Oh, I think I wrote down the acronym. Did I, special tactics and rescue squad, I believe they say? Are these guys? GDS assholes. This is the only thing. There's no am there. Well, this is the only star in this movie. I'll tell you that. So these are the motorcycle. How am I guys? Are we get those later? Those are motorcycle, how am I guys later? These guys are more just like looking like regular cop. Okay. Yes. Shoot this. I'll be in the roof and whatever. But I mean the motorcycle, how much never makes sense in science fiction. No, right. It's kids. Shit. It's like it's nighttime. Not on a motorcycle. Also, may I remind you you're not on that motorcycle? Equilibrium was full of those. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. Because the sword can't go through them. Maybe. Or there was gun. There was both of them movie guns. That's both. Yes. Inventive. So here that he's got he's walking around with a bazooka, but he takes out a gallon gun, shoots all these cops, takes out everything. And like the predator, my caps is viewed as a minimal threat and he drops his gun.

1:11:47Yeah. So he just walks away. Yeah, we should say much like it's a predator terminator combination. Yes. So he's like heat wavey kind of looking like predator vision, but there's also data being given to him. And yeah, it is a like Mike Epps low threat drops the guns, no threat at all. Because the order by this general cane or whatever was to kill the stars guys. Yeah. And so he's not one of those dudes. So he doesn't quite like interesting here. Testing them. He's like, oh, stars stars is so great. Let's see how they do against them. Yeah, yeah, if they're the best guys, let's see how they do against our guy. So this is it's later that cowboy sniper comes in. No, this is cowboy. This is right here. Who I was like, well, who the fuck is this guy? Like what the fuck? He seems like a character that should be in the movie. It's a day. Introduce this guy is if he's going to have somewhere between 15 and 20 lines of dialogue in this movie. There's about four and most of them are what? I also love it. Oh, let's see how he would do against them. No, he's just kind of chain gun. No one's going to win against a chain.

1:12:47It's got nothing to do with the guy. First of all, he's got a rocket launcher and then the chain gun. The guy on the roof gets rocket launcher to death. And then he pulls out this big Marfucker thing and just starts going at this movie theater lobby. To Demisys, that's his Walter P.P.K. It's a small love. Yeah. Around here, Jared Harris tells the crew that like, you, there's a way out of the city for all four of you. There's going to be a helicopter. A five kiloton nuke. That's the funniest line of the movie because he's like, it's Allison Jill. Yeah, they're going to nuke the city and Jill's like, what with what with what caliber is it? Five kiloton. Fuck me. And I'm like, what answer would have been okay? They're going to nuke the city. It's a new. It's just one kiloton I could have handled. One kiloton I could have gotten out of here in time. Five isn't that a bit much. One kiloton. I have a lot of sunscreen. It would have been okay. Right. And then you mentioned like, oh, they're, they're covering story. There's a meltdown at the power plants because the cycle killer got in there or whatever. Oh, yeah.

1:13:47I want to rewatch that movie. I feel my leg and more than I did. What movie? Psycho killer. Sort of a nuke angle. Oh, God. It is directed by the guy who wrote seven. Oh, that movie has a hit it. Okay. We hated it. But now after watching Resident Evil Paco, it's a fucking master. It is. Exactly. But that was fat. That was fun. Yes. I had fun watching that bad movie. I did not have fun watching this. I find this would be fun. I do wonder if when Jared Harris took the Chernobyl assignment, he was like, this is quite like a Resident Evil apocalypse, isn't it? For he's not like this ever again. I don't. It's one of the, it's either I don't remember or it's the Michael came. I bought my mother a house and I know what that looks like. You know, that story, that kind of deal paid for my dad's funeral. Oh, pain for the fucking barbill. It's a lot of money. But it's crazy because this, so this is it. This is now finally, we have the protagonist and her protagonist gang.

1:14:50Sure. Not just wandering the streets, 40 minutes into this movie, we have a story engine, finally. And Mike has still out with that, by the way, Mike has still writing on alongside of the movie. Yep. Because we haven't even crossed paths with Odeod Fair and those, so it's like, we got three strands of characters and nobody's talking to each other. But yeah, so 40 minutes, you know, we had it all this versus Nemesis briefly. Nemesis is happening on cop cars and things like that. Oh, right. When she does a, she does a, there's like a matrix jump. Yes. He's chasing her over the fence or whatever. Yep. Am I fingy? Why does she get to be a sexy lady? I have to live every day like this. I mean, we have all the same moves. I can do the same cool jump over the fence that she did. But I look like moving, talking shit. Isn't because my name is Matt. Is it just a different arena mat and an Alice that burns me into this plus filled monster? It's because my name is shared with one of the apostles.

1:15:54Is it? This is the sequencer, a cool aid man's through a wall. Yes. But you know, obviously nothing ends with a resolution here. They both, it's like a stalemate. I mean, look, he shoots one of his rocket launchers. She goes down like a garbage shoot and like hides in a dumpster and that's okay for the bazooka. I don't know if that works. Yeah, it's like a plastic thing. You'd like push laundry in. God, I wish that was me. I'm in the comfort of my garbage so much. Should say he's not a zombie yet, even though he's been bitten and we've had the conversation, but Nemesis shoots the shit out of that Peyton guy. Oh, yes. That's fucking chain gun death. It's pretty awesome. But first, like when he's turning, like there's a little conflict with Jill Valentine, 90 pound Jill Valentine throws this giant dude off of his horse. But yeah, she does the like the Super Mario jumps over the fence or whatever. There's a lot of right here specifically. I think they were like this thing looks stupid when it runs.

1:16:54Yeah. Because anytime Nemesis has to do any kind of like motion that's more than like taking a step anywhere, doing bad music video slow mo like stutter frame kind of shit. Right. God damn it. Like that. And then you're hearing like new metal sometimes while that's happening, dude, what the hell? I will say because it doesn't look very good. It's a junkie costume, but it's so much better than if it was CDI. Like, oh, yeah, pair Nemesis to the liqueurs. At least like I'm like, I could look at Nemesis. I make jokes about Nemesis. I don't even want to talk about the liqueurs. No, no, no, you're totally right. It's a real suit. And you know, it's dumb looking, but it's very detailed. It took a lot of work like making it. And I guess again, apagrable maybe the people who designed it like after the shoot loved it so much, they like cleaned it up and like fixed it from the shoot. And it's just like in their office now that now we're talking walking in for like a job interview. It is Nemesis is fucking looking at it. It's our beautiful Matt. Yeah, Alice goes down the garbage.

1:17:54And then you see this like again, little Nemesis vision. It's like disengage. Yeah. And he just kind of like takes the rocket launcher out of the garbage. Shoot walks away. I'm going to leave this act of the movie. I'll see you in the next act. It's been a lot of fun. See in 20 to 25 minutes. Nemesis needs to sit down. Hersh fixing the finger though. Yes, the broken finger. Yeah. That that was the easiest part of the movie for me. All this other stuff, whatever. That fucking finger resetting. Oh, very relatable pain. And end of world zombie stuff haven't been through that one yet. Fingy hurt. Yes, I've been through that one. So Olivera and Nikolai and the other dude who's pretty much near death. Yeah. Realize at this point like the chopper flew over dumped a couple of cases into the hospital and then drove off without them. And so dead fair has the kind of cool line. We're expendable assets. And we've just been expendable. And then you find out that Nikolai was rushing the whole time. Oh, wow. That's so nick. Yeah. But yes, this is when Jared Harris tells them also about the school.

1:18:56We kind of all meet up at the school and various the biggest, the single biggest junior high school I've ever seen in my life. Holy shit. This is like Charles Xavier's mansion looks like the woman from the faculty a little bit. Oh, I can see that. Yeah. And I love it. It's it's Jill, a super soldier, Alice, a near God-like being. And Terry, who's like, I don't know how to fire a gun. Like, all right, Terry, you go on the top floor. Jill will take the set, the, the, the middle floor and just shoot any bad guys. You'll be fine. Right, Terry? And I think they met up with apps now. Yeah, somewhere around here, Jill and Terry running to my apps. Yeah. And so now part of the movie has bonded to the other part of the movie. Now we just got a third thing we got to figure out. Terry, I'm like, I'm going with the fucking godly. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know what? I heard something skittering and whispering. Why don't you go and find out what that is? That's really important. We need you to do that. I like, so they all split up. Your mic apps goes into like the science lab and gets scared by a scaling tan in the closet. Oh, that's a pretty, and then there's a zombie right behind him though, which is really great.

1:19:59But oh, dead fair. Now these guys get to the school. Oh, dead fair shoots the zombie saves mic apps. Oh, yeah, you got hired by Jared Harris too. I guess we're partners now. Life was so much easier. Well, it was just hunting fucking mummies. Fucking nonsense with zombies. Quickly mentioned, is it Rayleigh actor playing a guy named Carlos? Yeah. Carlos Olivera, yeah. People were quite okay with that at the time. I think we're going to get less out of these. I like how dead fair is an actor quite a bit. But you know what? There were folks out there who can play this. Of course, yeah. And because this is apparently a video game character, so you can't change the name if you wanted to be the character. So just make it look like a few Latino actors. I've looked. Oh, yeah. You're fair? Yeah. You guys are here. You guys are here. I hear her here about. Yeah. So Terry goes into this room and she sees a little girl and she's like, oh, yeah. Here she come on. We got you. Your dad's going to get us out of here. Mom and ear. We bit this child. Uh oh. This little girl is actually a zombie.

1:21:00And then all of these little kids zombies were like hiding in this classroom. There is like 20 kids that come out of nowhere. Oh, I mean, if someone just break a twig. Hello, weapons. It's incredible. They just fucking take this lady down. And there's a great shot. She drops the handicap. Of course, on the floor, you're just seeing this lady be eaten. Oh, it's kind of cool. Oh, man. But yes, so Jill. Fine. Jill finds the actual girl. And yeah, she's like, you can't help your friend now. I've seen what they can do. This girl's clearly traumatized. They eat. They eat reporters mostly. Oh, those things are in here. This is a kind of a great moment. Those things are in here. And she's like, no, they're not. They're outside. No, not them. Them. And dude, we got zombie dogs right here. The last movie again, dogs based in it. Marinara sauce that are just hilarious. The look at I will. I will take it over CGI dogs, man. Exactly. Where these dogs property of the school.

1:22:00That's a great. Or I guess we come from security. They smell kid meat. They were just roving. Oh, the smell kid meat totally makes sense. Roasted kid meat is very for dogs, especially. But we get this big fight sequence with the dogs here. You know, Nikolai starts holding his own. It starts being a braggart a little bit. And he gets got over that kind of a Jurassic Park thing. It's a Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park Raptors in the kitchen. Yeah, he's got. He fucking thinks this dog is dead and he goes, stay. And then like another one gets his ass. And this dude is just eaten by zombie dogs with dog. And then like when he introduces himself to, was it Jill? Yeah, I believe it's Jill. Yes. It's like, like, aren't you service this then? Yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. He gets eaten by dogs. So if the girl, I've got this bitch, she says. Yes. But what I love here to hide in the kitchen and one thing Jurassic Park did not have was a zombie lunch lady hiding in a cabinet. Oh, man, this fucking thing crawls out behind Jill. It's pretty awesome.

1:23:00Good neck, neck break here. There's a couple of good full on head twists in this movie that weren't too shabby. She hits one of the dogs with a walk, which is very funny. And there's gasoline. She turns the gas on the stove. She's running out. The match doesn't work. Which is, by the way, the stupid ass moved to throw a match. Yeah, it's going to go out. Yeah. Well, you got to, you got to make sure that whole matchbook is lit, which she does not do. It's the one match. And she throws the whole book. I feel like with that much gas in the air, the second you strike the match, you're all exploded. Sure. Because I mean, what what Eric said exactly happens, like it goes out with the match, it goes out when it throws it. But then we get the, let me see here, the sixth entrance by Miller, Joe. Right. Right. This is another way to introduce a character. She throws a cigarette and it explodes. It puts a burn blanket over at the same time. Can I hear Michael and Sini once more? Oh, yeah. Let me queue that up for you, Eric. Probably have gas issues.

1:24:02There you go. So that this was in this kitchen has and that's why it explodes. You know, Pakaloobs has some gas issues. They try to turn me into a nemesis camp. We get a little fucking backstory here about Angie and it's, oh, Angie now is both infected and it turns out this whole thing. Angie was like a sickly kid. And so Jared Harris tried to develop a cure to help her wash. She was on crutches or whatever. And that's what the T virus turned into. I can't bear to watch my daughter uncrutches. Let me destroy the entire world. If she needs to use crutches, the world must die. She's my great shame that she wear crutches. I cannot live with it. And she gets, has to get like multiple injections a day. That never becomes part of the movie of like, yeah, she's almost low on injections or whatever. Just fine. Dr. Then he's out there. He's someone out there. We got to find him. I'm a bit and they're like, ah, here you go.

1:25:04He's a great Mike. There is a great Mike. I should have told me you were bit motherfucker, which is great. So Jared Harris calls again and he's like, okay, I have a way out. Now that you have my daughter 47 minutes, this helicopter is taken off from city hall. It is lightly guarded. So you'll have to deal with whatever is there. But that is the last helicopter at a raccoon city. Saigon. I mean, raccoon city. But yeah, so Major Cain, this is the fucking stupid Major Cain is behind Jared Harris while he's like giving all the information and he's like, computer's so unreliable. Just like people when Jared Harris is giving them the information, you see shadows moving around. I literally just thought, oh, they just forgot to take that out. So we got the NBA moving the donuts from one show. I literally thought like, oh, it's a big movie mistake. Oh, no, they did it right. Okay. So they do they inject Oh, dead fair with this. I don't hear. Yeah, it's never a problem. He's good to go on the way on the way that we get we see Alice film in the beginning of

1:26:08the movie. Yes. You know, this is protecting me from mummies as well. Zombies and mummies because I would really help. Oh, the mumby vaccine. Yeah, zombies and mummies. You are covered. They live in vampires though. They don't get any of that juice in there. Nemesis has been a mumby out there. I guess I'm going to Egypt. I guess Safari had a. Well, see that's the thing. Nemesis goes to Egypt and just like any, you know, tried and true James Bond film, he will get the Egypt and it will be cultural and sensitivity. As he comes off the airplane, walk like an Egyptian starts. Don't invite Nemesis to any more office karaoke. Can't carry a tune in a bucket. Do you want another sugar cube for your team Nemesis? No garbage, please. More garbage. Spaghetti if you would.

1:27:09Too big common. Two loves of you. I'll tell you when it's enough cigarette ash sprinkled on top. So we're going to go lay siege to these dudes or whatever. There is a guy who's got Olivera in the crosshairs on some roof. Milo Jovets sneaks up behind this dude. I don't understand why we are running down this building like it's Batman. Oh my god. To just get the drop on three dudes. It's like this bungee cord, but she's running down the side of the building. Yes. Batman 66. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's one of those like I get it. You're trying to make like an action horror spectacle, whatever. But this is like why would what the fuck are you talking about? And it's cooler in tenant. Like, just come on. Yeah. I think we're doing yes in vertical running. Yeah. Yeah. But she does beat these dudes with a baton, which is cool. But I feel like she could have just snuck up and I don't understand why she's on that

1:28:09roof to do this stunt. Other than they just wanted another stunt. I think that's cool. Yeah, it looks. But yes, so she's about to get killed by this dude and then Odell fair fucking throws a knife right at that guy's throat and kills him, which is a great shot because to Eric's point, this is one of the guys with the motorcycle helmets on. Yeah. And so like great shot from Odell's character, Olivera just get him a knife right under that also because they only cut once. They don't cut four four or five times. That's exactly what that happens. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. But he's got. Olivera's got the great line missed one, which was pretty funny. This is when Kane reveals like, ah, you fell in, because they go in the helicopter. Like, yes, let's take off. And it's like, no, you fell into my trap. Yeah, exactly. And so fucking nemesis is running out. And this isn't fucking hilarious, Mike F. Sliner. He's like, they're trying to get the chopper to go and you see nemesis and he's like, Oh, no, we stole his ride. Yeah. Cause then I just started picturing this big hulking monster trying to fly a little helicopter. I can probably can't even fit inside it.

1:29:10Remember your lessons nemesis. Remember your lessons. Keep it together now. I've logged 80 hours of simulator training. Sing a song. JfK junior couldn't do it, but you can pull out of this spiral. You can do it, nemesis. Oh, yes, land. No. You would for trash, Patty or whatever. You know what my fucking day is. Oh, man, but yes, a cane starts talking about, oh, wouldn't you know it, Alice and nemesis were part of the same research thing. What does he say here? Parallel strains of research brother and sister. And so now we just have to have this street fight like it's the end of rocky fire. It's the dumbest thing in the world. Cause he's like, now you must fight the nemesis. Just I won't do it. What makes you think I even can't have to know who is superior. And then we're going to shoot Jared Harris for no reason.

1:30:11Yeah, you better shoot the best actor in the movie. And it's like, I'll kill them all unless you fight nemesis. So he shoots Jared Harris. And he was important to the company. So that shows you. And it's all those things where like I feel like Angie would never trust Alice ever again. Like you got my dad killed. Yeah. But you knew you were going to fight that guy. Why? You pouted now my dad is dead. They even share a look. And I expected the little girl to be like the fuck? Cause then yeah, you're totally right. Steve, she just is like, all right. And then we just have this fight. Wait a second, there's a cure. We couldn't nemesis your father. No, he's good. That's I mean, I want you to get to look from the daughter. I do wish you got an Alice. Yeah, that's going to cost me. I don't know. We get to like swashbuckling nemesis. Oh, cheers. Kind of. Yeah, this is all something I didn't expect to see him. Is really just with this piece of metal. Now I got a weapon. Nemesis Perry thrust.

1:31:12No slappers only. No slappers only were using knives and up. Okay. Toshay. This jacked up Santa bite. Look at mother fucker just exchanging fist fight blows with this woman. Okay. She wants to be kicking him and he gets a pale. And this is dude. My God, the telegraphing of this shit is so frustrated. Like when he pulls the thing off, he breaks the piece of metal like bends it and breaks it. And there's the parts sticking out. The camera does a fucking office-esque zoom in on the thing. Like is everybody paying attention? Remember that I movie remember. Right. And then we go through go. Oh my God, it's the environmentalist Matt from the first movie. He used to be honky. You can ask my core spiky hand. Evolution house. It's dead ends. And like, yeah, kill him. Do you look litter please kill? Are you really needed to be a favorite? You got him right there, dude. It's gotta be like, yeah, like put me out of my misery, please.

1:32:15It has to happen. He only said, what is the one word he says? Oh, I forget. He, I don't know, maybe he even just says his own name like. That was fatty. He says like one thing in the movie and it was like grumbling like. Predator kind of talking sound. So yeah, why, oh, Cain, why haven't we taken off yet? Mike Epps because I normally drive a Cadillac. One too many. Thank you. I mean, good God. They wind up kicking Thomas Crutchman off the helicopter here and like, he's stuck with like a gun that will work. And Jared Harris was shot. Is now a zombie? Yeah. Because he died and came back. I guess so. It's one of those classic zombie movies where zombie movie trips where it's like some people like dead fair or other guys won't transform at all or take a long time throughout the movie to do it or two seconds like this guy. What's he treated with the T virus as well? Oh, the daughter is. Maybe that's I feel like he was getting that regenerative T virus.

1:33:16He's not sitting in that wheelchair. Hold on. I'll tell you guys once I find this key in this atrium. Hold on. No, there's three fucking keys. One's red. He's a dead key. Now I need the silver one. Stephen, am I spending all day in that new game looking for keys? No, no, no. It's kind of it's it's like there's two. There's two different characters. One character is looking for keys. And then Leon Kennedy is like just shooting everybody up. Leon Kennedy. Leon Kennedy. Err. I said Leon Kennedy. Killin's ambies. He was a cop in the second game. Yeah, he's back and he's got like cool hair and stuff. I don't I know I played the first and second game. I remember my brother and I renting them and maybe eventually own them. Yeah. I honestly, aside from looking through a library and some killing you know zombies, I don't remember a ton and then I never played anything. I never played anything other than Rekwein. Rekwein was really fun. I would recommend that to us. I like that. I do like the cane. He shoots a bunch of zombies and then it's like, yeah, fuck it. And he tries to kill himself and doesn't have any more bullets, which is pretty sweet.

1:34:19The missile is incoming now, by the way. Thank God. We do see Rekwein in the city getting nuked right here. The shockwave rattles the chopper. The helicopter's flying away. They got the cargo door open with a nuke. I'm closing the car. Yeah. Can we get that up? Let's go to the windows. I'm trying to get Nemesis over here. Exactly. I will turn the air conditioner on. Close all the windows on this chopper. There's fucking atomic whatever coming our way. I mean, it's better than what I mean, Kreichmann is about to feel the apocalypse while watching a zombie chew on his nuts for their last meal. So I don't know. Maybe it's okay to be in the helicopter. Just poor Nemesis, uh, perishing the blast I assume. I mean, maybe he comes back in another cool sequel. I don't know. You are led to believe that he's dead. At least right here anyway. Helltrack, Patty, I love her. Nemesis will return in Thunderdumsters. Right. I'm ready. I'm ready. Yeah. It was a cover story. I thought I died of that, Duke, but I just got more gross.

1:35:22Living let pew. I will return in Golden Greece. The battle is Nemesis blow chunks. Blow chunks. Yeah. Blow chunks. You're quite masked. Tomorrow never smells. You know, we're not too different, you and I. You only fight twice. Unless you're never says in which case it's kind of constantly. Oh my God. So yeah, they get the hit with the shockwave or whatever. Chopper gets rattled. Oh, dead fairs got a good. We're going down. A pipe goes flying towards little Angie. Alice just takes the hit on this. But it's just me and Joe Vitch with a pipe in her chest. Pretty cool. Chopper crashes here in the arc lay mountains. What? Yeah. Straight for those. Yeah. I would.

1:36:23And now I'm not a world class screenwriter. Sure. But yet, I've yet, but I feel like if a nuclear weapon goes off towards the end of your movie, you've got four more minutes maximum. That is it. That is it. You look, this little news report and then the credits. Yes. We have this like return of the king asked. We have to go through all this fucking shit. Just tell me what happened to Nemesis and then get out of here. What do you mean the credits have to stay in the green room? What the fuck's going on out there? But man, yes. So the arc lay mountains. Here's some more umbrella douchebags getting the crash site. Oh, only one body was found. It's dead, Alice. Right. England holds her out and it's like doing this whole spiel about umbrella. This umbrella that. And this is where we get also the news montage of like, oh, yeah, Terry's tape is blown the lit off this. Uh oh, Terry's tape was a hoax and you see the whole nuclear reactor story starting to hit here. Jill, media has Darryl. Yeah. Jill and Carlos and are wanted by the authorities.

1:37:25I thought that would be like a cool cliffhanging ending as well. Yeah. So three weeks later, nope, we get to see them in this movie. We don't have a more. Would you like more? We got more. We got Alice in a back to tank right here. Yes. Full on titties over here, by the way. Yes. Weird, very unsexual reveal of her breasts. And I mean, I would shape a water her still. I would feed her some eggs, I guess. Sure. Looking better than Darth Vader in a back to tank. Come on. Uh, but yes. So she's, you know, begin the purging process. So they start waking her up. Is England now being like full on evale? Yeah. We get we over here things like oh, her powers are developing at a fast rate physical and mental powers. I think she doesn't remember anything so we could start over with this new Alice or whatever. Yeah. By now, so we could turn her into a stupid braimeteous. Yes. It is like they do think that she's like caveman at the beginning of this. He's like, this is a pen.

1:38:26I said, yes, what you do with a pen. And she's glitching out my name, my name, my name is Alice. And I remember everything. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Stabs this dude in the eye with the pen. And that's all fine. I mean, it's again, I'm tapped by watch because again, a nuclear weapon went off seven minutes ago. Yeah. But the psionic abilities where she's making this. I look, that's too much. Oh, looking to the other loans, a security guard looking at her in the camera and she just like stares at him to his head. Because brain boy. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I guess probably more of that in the sequels. Possibly. You got any psychic powers in that new game, Steve? No psychic power. Oh, damn. You got to put it better. So she's walking outside. There's all these agents that are about to get her. But then uh-oh, SUV pulls up. Here's a dead fair mic. She's the right. And Jill Valentine and they've, they're all in these suits and we've got level six clearance. And this, that, another thing we're going to take her now and just my God. How much more movie is happening?

1:39:27What is even any of that? Like I was like, oh, shit, there's going to be like a prison break or something. It's just like, where did you get all the clearance? What is all this? And then then Ian Glan appears to know that it's bullshit, right? Because he's just like let them go. Because he's going to activate program Alice and you pan up to a satellite. An umbrella co satellite. And then I guess it's going to tracker or change her or make her betray them or whatever. And I mean, like this is all a sequel set up, which I didn't need because obviously, once I know that Alice has been taken by umbrella, I'm like, ooh, what's going to happen in the next movie. And then I'll find out next time. Exactly. Like I just, I don't need to see the first 10 minutes of the next movie at the end of this. But where you so sad that they were all gone, you know, I don't care about a single fucking person in the school. You really have confidence in this franchise that people are dumb and people will keep watching. And just do that empire strikes back ending of she's in the back to tank and ruined and taken by this company. Yep. Carlos and Jill are wanted. That's cool. And that's the end.

1:40:27And she should have ended back at the confidence. They never had a confidence. It is no confidence whatsoever. I think you should have ended when the SUV with the little girl gets hit by some men. That'd be great. Great ending. That'd be fantastic. Cool short film about a car accident. But yeah, umbrella company satellite is the last shot we see. Q the kill switch engage and expect that to happen. Can't just give me a last one last image of Nemesis. Just like that. Nemesis will return in splatter ball. Yes. And you are a view to some trash. That's the view to some trash. I feel you to enjoy it. Oh, man. What's the good moon raker? Well, let's just get it really quick. What's your turn raker? Turn raker. I was doing it. I was doing it. Perfect. I figured Nemesis would dabble and shit play. Absolutely. Don't work too hard on it. Just go with what your mind says. Yes, Nemesis. This is a satellite that I don't know looks at turns for some reason. Only you can infiltrate it.

1:41:29Casino Boyle. Like a boy. Yes, totally. The broken office lights. You've got to stink another day. I'm sorry Nemesis. You can't leave this casino. You smell like shit. Hit me. Man, but yeah, that is the end of this movie. My old mini stinger with this like raccoon city commercial that happens. Oh, I missed it. Or an umbrella corporation commercial rather. It's for some like medication, a lessting, you hear some side effects. May it occur? Oh, that's something. Farma. Yeah. We'll go around the horn here for some final thoughts. Eric, was Roger Ebert wrong? Roger Ebert was correct about this film. I did not enjoy it. I do think it's better than the first one. And I think the action is a little bit better than the first one. You're sort of outside. You got stuff to do. Sure. It's still just very bad. It's just very bare bones. I feel like if they develop characters, maybe just let some of the lore drop by the wayside

1:42:30to propel this phone. This is this ain't it. Chris Kahneman. Yeah, I mean, that's the problem. There's no character in like you don't care about anything. Like I said, you give fucking me the Josephish seven entrance scenes for watch. I'll never get over that motorcycle. I just won't. It's fucking crazy. Yeah, it's a little bit better than the last one, but just a little bit. It's not that much. If you're into these movies, I think at least they get more visually interesting as they go along. The back ones are much better. These ones are really, it's honestly, it's like Harry Potter. The first two are really bad. And then there's some assemblissa of something coming with the third one. Paul W.S. Anderson comes back for like the final two or something. You got a Mulkei in the next one. The Russ Mulkei, that's the big one. It's okay to like a movie understand that some people do enjoy these movies. They do. I'm not a fan of them, but these two especially I do not like. There you go. Steve Sadeck.

1:43:30I did not like the first one. I like this one a little bit. It's like a 17 year old boy joy delivery system in terms of all the explosion. Jerk off and structure. Yes. I mean, literally. Oh, the other joy. A lot of joy. A lot of joy. Got it. Not J.O.I. And you know, in that way, it's okay. It's very poorly directed. It's quick. It's quick on its feet. Again, it's an 80 something minute movie. I'm not watching those credits. So it's like, yeah, it's not the end of the world to watch it. It is. I wonder if I've never seen any of the other ones. So maybe they're, they get much better. And this looks shitty by comparison. But by, by comparison, this makes, this looks better because the first one is so bad. Yes. In my humble opinion. Sure. Sure. I didn't, I really don't recall that first movie. But the folks at home, let me ask you this. Anyone who's a fan of these franchise, I've talked about this before. But every like Halloween season, which we're kind of approaching right now, I, I get the bug to like do a new franchise and try to go through it. So now I've seen two of these. Do it.

1:44:30Do it. Do we get better here, folks? I do that. I should think a different franchise. Also, I did want to close out because also I wouldn't recommend this to anybody. But ebert quote from the review of this movie. This movie is an utterly meaningless waste of time. There was no reason to produce it except to make money and there is no reason to see it except to spend money. It is a dead zone of film without interest, wit, imagination or even entertaining violence and special effects. Parents, if you encounter teenagers who say they liked this movie, do not let them date your children. I don't appreciate you dragging dead zone into this. It's a perfectly good movie. I don't know what you're talking about. But my guy, look at that. That's actual writing for a human fucking beer. Good guy. Use four liters of water to get it. Exactly right. But that is going to do it for this episode of Resident Evil Apocalypse. As always, if you want more We Hate movies, including shows like this one, absolutely commercial free though, head on over to patreon.com slash We Hate movies where we are releasing these very same WHM episodes every Tuesday.

1:45:33Commercial free along with a total cavalcade of other bonus shows such as earlier this month, we did kick things off with our We Love Movies program all about much better movie with people getting killed by big beastly guys. The guest, one big beastly guy. A big guy. A little handsomer than nemesis. I'm not sure about the beastly, but yeah, he's a big guy. I mean, that's a beast in soul. Yeah, I mean, oh man, wouldn't dance. He was a made a great James Bond. He would have wouldn't nemesis made a great James Bond. He would have. He would have. Yeah, there he goes. But right out. We also, of course, last week released our Q3 commentary, the back rooms, men Terry, which was a lot of fun. Oh, yeah. One of the greatest production designs of the year in a movie and we had a lot of fun talking over it. You can get that now as well as this month's Melro 210. Indeed. In 90210, we continue to deal with the fact that Andrea is not a virgin anymore. The show is just really trying to grapple with it the best they can. Really trying to end David is now suddenly, we're not here much, but he's okay with the late night shift.

1:46:33I wonder what it's changed. Like, as a girl, I wonder what is that. Oh, and then also, yeah, the drugs. The drugs. The drugs drugs. And in Melro's place, of course, the Amanda Michael scenario situation is continuing at a thrilling and horrifying pace. It's really getting down a dirty and we had a lot of fun talking about it. Now, if you were getting this on the day, it comes out, which is Tuesday, the 22nd of September, just this Thursday, we're getting a pretty cool animation damnation. That's right. We're talking about the Street Fighter cartoon from the mid 90s. I guess we talked about this 300 years ago. We're now talking about the series from here. We'll see how the gang gets together. That's right. And then this Friday, Eric, we got some gleepe action happening. We are talking about Prince Gisur. We're getting to one of the big guys from the old EU. This is from Shadows the Empire. Okay. So, yeah, so it's a side show we talk about tertiary Star Wars characters. It's very chaotic.

1:47:34Big villain, this guy, right? Big villain. Yeah, that's a very interesting. Big green guy. Big green guy. I like that. He's a big green guy. That's going to be a lot of fun. Namassist should fight him. And then next week, we will close out with, we will close out the month, I should say, with our Star Trek recap show, the Nexus, which we're coming back next Wednesday as a matter of fact, programming update there. But Steve, to go along with the animation damnation, tie in it all in our synergistic programming, such as it can be sometimes, what is the episode happening next Tuesday? We're staying in video game adaptation world because we were talking about Street Fighter, the legend of Chun Lee. A movie I've never seen. Yeah, I just, no, I'm just curious. I know. But we have to do it. Yeah, I've heard enough. I'm really curious. I'll be rewatching the Dessousa joint to get into the mood. I think you'll be fine if you don't because I think they're totally different. I know. Is this like a prequel? I think it's just a different. It's a really kind of a thing. I see. This is Chris Klein, right?

1:48:34Yeah, Chris Klein is Charlie, I believe. Oh, that's a new character. Charlie. You've selected Charlie. He's the fifth one from America, America, America. So until next week with Charlie and Street Fighter, Colin, the legend of Chun Lee, I've been Andrew Jupin. You can say that. Eric Siska. Chris Kavan. Take it easy. You're so kind to deal with our honor to help the community.

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