Rose's Big Adventure (Season 3, Episode 22)

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1:05at IXLLearning.com slash audio. Visit IXLLearning.com slash audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Oh, could this vintage store be any cuter? Right. And the best part? They accept discover. Accept discover. In a little place like this? I don't think so, Jennifer. Oh, yeah, huh. Discover's accepted where I'd like to shop. Come on, baby. Get with the times. Right. So we shouldn't get the parachute pants? These are making a comeback. I think. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. Based on the February 2025 Nilsen report. Hello, mother. Hello, Papa. How are you today?

2:05I'm great. You're looking pretty stick him up. She's good because I look like I'm about to rob a bank. Don't I? I would be your getaway driver. I'd be your Mickey Rooney for sure. Look at you. You'd be my rider die. I'd be your rider die, Mickey Rooney. Probably die. I'd probably die. I can't imagine me driving a getaway car would go very well. You know, I have a little thing about based on the Mickey Rooney episode. Oh, yeah. My deep time, I think it more applies more to that episode. When I have like bank robberies gone wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm excited. So maybe at the end of this, I'll throw that in here. Oh, good. If it doesn't make it to the other episode. Yep. A lot of this is about note passing. Like, I just feel like I could pass a note and things might get done. I think you would pass a note. Yeah. And you'd be cuffed in three seconds. Because the teller would look at me and be like, bitch, are you serious? And I'd be like, not really. But I'm like, it's so stunning. I know. I feel me doing it for like days his heart transplant or whatever. Right. I really need the money. Yeah. If how I would go. There you go. Anyway, mother, what are we talking about today?

3:07Cheesecakes and Papa. We are talking about season three, episode 22. Yeah. Rounding third, it's called Rose's Big Adventure. Yeah. It was written by Jeff Abugov. It was directed by Terry Hughes and it aired originally on March 12th, 1988. Now, I've got a little mini-ditty about something that happens that week. Oh, great. And it's all about the song She's Like the Wind from 30 Damn Things. Yeah, She's Like the Wind. The thing is, this is the week that that song peaked on the top 100. It hit number three on the top 100. And I decided I wanted to do the mini-ditty on it because I did the I've had the time of my life. Yeah. This era was a very dirty dancing era. Yeah. So I'm very happy to be contributing like another mini-ditty about the dirty dancing to the deep dive. I love it. You give that and just because I have it here. The number two song that week was George Michael's father figure. Oh. And the number one song by Rick Astley was never going to give you all.

4:07Is that what you get like a Rick Roll or whatever on the internet? I don't know. Yeah, if you ever heard of this, we're like to be sent you a link. Like, oh, you have to go like check this. Like this is like really important information and you click on it and it's that song and you've been Rick Roll. I didn't know that. I do know father figure, some of my androgynous lesbian friends really, like they've done a lot of TikToks. I like to this song. Yeah. Anyway, it's fun. You know we love an androgynous lesbian. Well, who does this? I mean, come on. Well, here's the thing. She's like the wind. The thing I told you it peaked this week at number three. Okay. It debuted at number 84. It spent 21 weeks on the top 100. That's amazing. And like the thing that's a wild about it is like Patrick's Wazey is the lead vocalist. Yeah. And he wrote this like, can you imagine there was a time when Patrick's Wazey was like number three on the Billboard top 100. I think that is wild. It's so talented. So talented. And genuinely a dancer, ladies and gentlemen. So in 2015, the song's a co-writer, a guy named Stacey Wydlitz. He gave an interview to the National Songwriters Association

5:09telling the origin story of the song. Okay. So this mostly comes from that. So as the story goes, he and Patrick's Wazey became friends in an acting class and discovered that they lived right around the corner from each other. And as Rose will do, they just started hanging out and it turned out that they both really loved music and they were kind of like musicians. And so that was like the main thing that they talked about. I'm guessing Los Angeles. Oh, I have no idea. I don't want to put you in the spot. No, that's okay. I was wondering that too. I couldn't find it, but I'm assuming it was like LA, right? Okay. So cut to 1984. Swazey is doing a movie called Grand View USA with Jamie Lee Curtis and C. Thomas Howell. And he called that guy Stacey, yeah, because he knew that this guy was writing music for TV and film at the time. And Swazey said that he'd had an idea for a song that he'd been kicking around for a while. He was having trouble making progress with it. But they were looking for music for the film, Grand View. And he's like, hey, let's work on this song together and we'll see if they'll use it for the movie. Yeah. So they get together. Swazey had the opening chords and the opening line to the song.

6:10Do you know this song? Yeah. But I like knew all the words. Oh, I don't know that. That's the case. But I. Of course I know. Everybody close to me. Okay. Look at her eyes. Did you sing that to your girlfriend when you were making love for this song? Yeah. Yeah. And it was very gentle. It was a gentle love making. That was the name of my autobiography. A gentle love making. A gentle love making. A Patrick Hines story. So he sits down to play it for his friend Stacey and the opening lyrics are, she's like the wind to my trees. She rides the night next to me, right? Mm-hmm. Iconic. So Stacey, the friend, because that's as far as Swazey had gotten with this song, blurt out. She leads me to moonlight, only to burn me with the sun. This bitch, Patrick Swasey, is like, what does that even mean? Like, fires back. What a collab. What a wonderful collaborator Swasey was. And the guys, Stacey was like, who cares? Let's just like write it down. We'll come back to it later. Yeah. Of course they never come back to it. Like, she is like the wind and my trees. And she leads me to moonlight, only to burn me with the sun.

7:11Like, it's staining. Yeah. I love this song. I hope Swazey took full credit for it. Literally. You imagine an airviews? I love that line. Thank you. They just poured out of my soul. It just poured right out of me. I knew exactly what it meant, too. Swazey would have fall. And, you know, and I want you to interpret what it meant for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean something different for everyone. Exactly. So they work on the song for three days. They finish it and then it's not used in the movie. So two years later, Swazey's in North Carolina making dirty dancing. And he calls Stacey up again. He's like, hey, they're looking for songs for this movie. I played them. She's like the wind. They really like it. They want to use it for the movie. And now because dirty dancing was solo budget, Patrick and this Stacey guy worked out a deal. Get this. They retained 100% of the publishing rights. Publishing rights is where like songs make all of their money. Yeah. And they retained 100% of that. And I wasn't able to find out how much money this song made from the publishing rights. But it was a fucking lot. Yeah. They're still making money on it. Like crazy to state.

8:11And this guy stays still making money on it to this day. The movie was originally only supposed to play in theaters for one week and then go straight to video. It was so popular that it had spent 28 weeks in the theaters. Sure did. The soundtrack goes on to become one of the most successful soundtracks of all time. So 32 million copies. Ca-ching. Ca-ching. And the song, the song itself, as I said, it leaked at number three in the Billboard Hot 100. But it hit number one on the adult contemporary chart and became a top 10 hit in 9 other countries. And I just think it's wild. I think the Patrick Swazie was charting on the Billboard... You know what I mean, you're new. I too. Like wild. I love it. That's my duty. I loved that. Now we talked about that before. Like him, and remember Don Johnson had a- You did? Oh gosh, 86. Looking for the heart. Like something like that. No way. Yeah. We talked about his music there, where's the Arthur's number three hat, you know what I mean? Here's all the wind, how about trees?

9:13They call me hard, hard at hand, that was a great ditty pop-up. Thank you so much. I'm in dead. I'm in dead. I'm in dead. All right, so we open with a very unusual shot on the other side of the house, and we just start doing this close-up on the outside of the garage, guys. Okay, it's exterior side as I have it. Now, here's the, I didn't mean to take over a mother, but I just have to say, because we do a quick zoom into the garage, this episode is going to spend the entire 24 minutes gas-lighting the living shit out of us. Well, first of all, the minks are dead. Where are the minks? They're gone. The minks are gone. They've been in the garage, and I'm just saying, here's what I've decided, I've been saying this to Adam today, because what we know at looking at the house, the garage is over here off the driveway. The kitchen is back there, and that back exit that they take that leads them into the garage,

10:16I've decided what it actually is, it's a portal to the other side of the house. Like from a cartoon, they literally enter a portal that takes them to outer space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the back to the garage. That's the only thing that makes sense. They're not exiting into the garage. They're walking to an unskined portal that takes them to the other side of the house. Maybe it's just one of those tube slides, and they go, woo, woo, woo. They're doing a garage reno. They're trying to. Dorothy comes in. When you love to see them, I'm like, I'm like some makeover TV show. Dorothy Rose and Sophia and Blantz live together in a house. They're four older women who still have a sex. Oh, yeah. Do you remember the show Trading Space, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Paige Davis, we love her. So Paige was the host of that show, the Trading Spaces. But I can just see the gals coming in after they've traded with Frida Claxton and Dorr. Totally. Or the jewel thieves, whatever. But their faces drop when like with all due respect. Maybe Hillary put hay on the wall. Yes. That happened one time.

11:16Like hay on the walls of the garage. And you know, I always loved it when some owners, of course, I loved it most when they were happy. Yes. But because it was so uncomfortable when they weren't. We did like, oh no. How do you see them? And these, you see them and take like, oh, you're going to have to put it back. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, anyway, I just love it. Dorothy Blantz, Rose and Sophia are four women of a certain age. They've finally had it with sharing beds when family comes to call. Well, that's what I have here. It's like finally. I know. The jig is up on none of these two-week vacations anymore that they're going to like, someone's going to sleep that bullshit. And they never parked their cars in there anyway. I know. But let's to be fair though, that garage looks freezing and we know that's not enough insulation for those cold Miami summers. Well, I mean, it is freezing cold in Miami. I want to say Dorothy comes in, followed by Blantz, followed by Sophia, Dorothy's wearing her classic Ronald McDonald top that we love. Yes. And she's so mad. And believe me, I have been this mad at contractor. Me too. Oh, for crying out loud. Where is he now? This remodeling job is never going to be finished. Dorothy, relax.

12:16You'll be back. Who wants him back? The man's a thief. I haven't seen a cry like this in a garage since the St. Valentine's Day massacre. Well, you did not see the St. Valentine's Day massacre. Oh, yeah, right. I was in the movies that day, all day. I called her Dorothy the enforcer in the episode because she's the one, of course, she's managing the project. Sure. She's probably paid for most of it. She probably did her first draft of the plans. She's not a carpenter, but she is a plumber. Right. So, she's the most qualified. No, a still does not always deliver her punchlines beautifully. This punchline is so good. I always love when she does a repeat of the thing. Oh, I know. But also, she was in Chicago, then, I guess, because that's, I believe that's where it was. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, we are not asking any questions, okay? Okay. Okay. So, yeah, Ernie's come in. He's in his suit. And obviously, you know, as the contractor, he's there to oversee the work and the workers, you know? And I have to tell you, I've been there. I have renovated two different properties in my life.

13:18Same. Yeah. This is a very successful experience because a lot of times, the contractors will take multiple jobs. Oh, yeah. And they'll start one and then they'll sometimes sif-and-off workers to go to another. Oh. And then they'll come back, but that extends your timeline. I know. I mean, that was the same when we moved into our apartment here. Right. It just, like, took forever. And it's funny, because like, the contractors in these shows are always a sleazy contractor. I will say, we had, like, the world's most amazing, man. Yeah. As a contractor, we loved him so much. Like, I made a note here because they're always getting, I'm like, do contractors ever actually get jobs and keep them in TV shows? Because they're always getting fired. Yeah, exactly. It's so the TV show can happen, you know? Exactly. Anyway, they threaten to fire Ernie because like, if you don't get it done, you know, that's it. Be her delivery here because she screams at them. Look, if we don't start seeing results, you are out of here. Do you know how hard it is to find a good contractor? Yes, and you're living proof. LAUGHTER Ernie, she didn't mean that.

14:19She just got up on the wrong side of a cold, lonely, empty bed. LAUGHTER Good looking lady like her sleep's alone, I'm shocked. You're looking about with tastes like that robot garage? LAUGHTER In her classic beat to the last row. Right, right, right. You know, he, of course, makes a quip about her looks, right? Yes. And Ernie is saying a beautiful woman like that sleeps alone. Oh, I didn't think he meant it. Well, I guess he did if Sophia is making that joke, right? Yeah. Because then Sophia comes in and she says, you're letting a man with taste like that remodel our garage. And my note is just, nobody comes harder for Dorothy than her own mother. Seriously. Can you know what I mean? I do know what you mean, but no one comes harder for Sophia than Dorothy who literally shoves her mother like she could have fallen to the ground. I know, I know. Like a stellar abuse. Estelle Getty is maybe 90 pounds soaking wet. No. If one of the many things is that what I have in common. Shops. Oh. So the contractor takes off his jacket.

15:21It looks like he's going to get to work himself and the ladies enter the kitchen and then go from the kitchen to the living room. Yeah. Dorothy's like, what kills me is he's got us over a barrel and Blanche makes a sex joke. And then my favorite part of this is that B, in that moment, she's got her hand pressed to the door to the living room like you're about to get. She does that thing where she does a look and they linger on her. For like three seconds to let her have the look. It's so good. It looks like a dirty joke, Blanche. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? For the last time, a man had me over a barrel. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's not just something you made. It's the privilege that you get to work with your hands. It's building something that serves a purpose. Proof that you have the grit to keep going. At Timberland, we understand you take your craft seriously and we do too, which is why our products are built to the highest quality. We put in the work so you can perfect yours with purpose in every detail and crafted with incension. Timberland, built on craft, visit Timberland.com to shop.

16:21Okay, so in the living room, like I said, Dorothy and Blanche have come in and Al, we find out, is this gentleman and he and Rose are sitting awfully close on the couch. They're celebrating with champagne. And out of nowhere, Rose appears to be in a serious relationship. I was gonna say, this has come convention where we've never seen the person, but like everybody else has known them for months. Exactly, she's day ting. Yeah, dating and put a pin in the champagne. I think Al's got a little bit of a drinking problem. Al is never without his champagne. The next time we see Al's got champagne again. Well, he's on the yacht, right? Truly, the thing is Al, we're learning. Hi, girls, like for yourself some champagne, we're celebrating Al's retirement. So you finally went through with it, Al? Yep. I finally called it Quits of the Deli. Sold it all, locks, stock and bow. Get it? Locks. We made up that joke yesterday, but it's just as funny now as it was then. Some jokes are timeless. So tell me, Al, what are you intent

17:22doing with your retirement? Well, Monday, I'm gonna sleep late. What's after Monday? Tuesday. From the beginning of us meeting Al, and knowing that he's about to retire, everybody wants to know his plans. Yeah, everybody wants to know what Al is doing for the rest of his fucking life. And all Al wants to do is take a minute. All Al wants to do is just, we'll have to learn for a week. We'll get there too in the next scene with Rose. We'll get that in more detail. But you're right. The vibe in this scene is that nobody really likes out. Rose is really into him, but nobody finds his jokes funny. Dorothy's asking what his plans are for retirement. He doesn't really know. Dorothy seems annoyed that he doesn't know what he's doing. Right, right, right. Get the guy to just live. Give him a minute. Give him a minute. Can I have a minute? Exactly. But Rose lets us know that she thinks she's falling for him. And she says at the end that he thinks that Rose is neater than hard salami. Yeah. And Dorothy says, did he actually tell you that Rose? And here, I just, I'm saying this line because I want to follow up on him.

18:23Rose says, I shouldn't have repeated it. It was said in a moment of passion. Now, here's something that I love because it's saying something without saying something. Yeah. She has just told us she thinks she's falling for him. And I love the message here and the message it gives women. And young women coming of age into their own sexuality. And that is you don't have to be in love to have sex, ladies. Oh, yeah. Like the gays have known that for a long time now. Yeah, but, you know, I was raised, you know, I had a great experience in Catholicism as a kid. It wasn't, you know, harmful to me in that sense. Same to me in fact, yeah. But, you know, I was early. I thought, oh, I'm going to wait till I get married. And then the only way I could justify it when that wasn't the case was, well, as long as it's love. And I can't tell you how much emotional abuse that caused myself, you know, from holding myself to this standard that is dangerous. And avoiding red flags and, you know, receiving love bombing or love bombing yourself before you even get to know them.

19:23So my point is, I love that she uses the phrase a moment of passion. So clearly they're having some sort of passionate physical relationship, the extent of which we don't know. But this is prior to her saying she thinks she's falling for him. And I love that. It's interesting too, because I bet Rose as a character had a similar kind of journey. You know, she's a very traditional kind of conservative person. But here she is in her mid to late 50s. And she's enjoying a physical relationship with the gentlemen before there's any love attached. And I think that's a very good message to give. And it's interesting too, because for me, I know that, no, I know that many people won't agree with me. Yeah, that's how I feel about that. I think too, like, we forget now, because it's 2025, but that, like, this is one of the examples of why this show was so groundbreaking in terms of its discussion of sexuality. Yes, you know what I mean? That was probably why I'm bringing it up and why I wanted to really pause here, because it's giving the message that it is okay women to have a healthy sex life, yes, even if it's not a forever commitment. I love that for everybody.

20:24So Slimey Ernie enters and he's leaving for the day. Okay, see you, my gentlemen, ladies. Wait a minute, where are you going? You've only been here 10 minutes. So I'll be back tomorrow. Ernie, listen to me and listen good. If you walk out that door right now, you can forget about ever coming back. Fine, see ya. What do I see? What are we going to do now? Well, seems to me we have two choices. One, we can beg Ernie's forgiveness, or two, we can find another contractor. Or three, this is a city method. Touch the garage, collect the insurance, and build a summer house with a view of the ocean. Sophia's got another idea. What is that, Patrick? Forge to fucking place like they do in Sicily and get the insurance money. Listen, I make a true crime podcast. I've seen that not go well. Her solution is to commit a crime. Right, four women burned to death in their Miami home this afternoon. Exactly. So we have a music transition. It's exterior classic, Patrick. Oh, I love a kid, I love a mid-easy. We're in the kitchen, dots on the phone. Blanche is leaning over 1700 yellow pages on the kitchen island. That's how you used to have to do it.

21:25I listen. You know, I looked at that. That's cool. So Blanche's perm still hasn't calmed everyone. I know. And on top of that, they're trying to find a new contractor that she's not paying for. Yeah, and now Dorothy's getting harassed on the phone. And Dorothy, I love this exchange, because she sits out at the table. They don't know what they're going to do. Dorothy's ready to give up. And Blanche, I just love it. Dorothy, that was the last contractor in the book. I just don't care. I am so fed up with all of these people. I'm just ready to give up. Dorothy, you can't give up. You're no quitter. I just think of them many times you have been dumped by a man. Did you get dating? No, ma'am. You sank even lower, scraping the bottom of the barrel, facing certain humiliation. And why? A good thanks, Blanche. I get the point. No, I mean it, Dorothy. Why? Why? No, why? It's just so good to Rose enters. And she's upset. And here's where we get to like the meat of the owl thing.

22:26Because ever since Owl's retirement, he went from being this like vital guy that was probably working around the clock, or whatever. And now he doesn't want to do anything. He's been retired for one day. Yeah. Owl's been retired for one day. I'm T-Mowl. I am so T-Mowl. Like, this is my dream come true. Lately, all he wants to do is sit around and watch television. Exactly. That's my favorite thing to do. Listen, if we're on month six of this, and he's gained 40 pounds, and he's not healthy, or whatever, fine. Right. Rose, he's been retired for one day, girl. What day, girl? So Sophia comes in. Everybody, cheesecakes, she's found the perfect guy to convert the garage, follow her. And I do love this about Sophia. Well, they're going through the portal. So they go, they go to the blind step, through the portal, they end up at the other side of the house. Right. And Sophia's got a friend over. What's his name? Vincenzo. Vincenzo. He's in a wheelchair. And apparently, he was one of the great European architects

23:27of his time. Yeah, she describes his CV, his resume, if you will. It's quite impressive. 30 years ago, this man was one of Italy's foremost architects, respected the world over. Creator of some of your most beautiful cathedrals. Isn't that right, Vincenzo? Yes. Yes. Today, he's a pathetic shell of a man who spends all day trying to look up women's dresses. Yes. Who acts? He doesn't speak a word of English watch. Vincenzo. You're a wrinkled old pervert, right? Respected the world over. Created some of Europe's most beautiful cathedrals. What's he doing here? Oh, yeah. How do you... In a home in Miami, I'm wondering. The same thing with her, at least he can speak Italian, though. But not a word of English. So Sophia is basically going to tell them what the new plan is. She's telling the gals that Vincenzo can't do any of the work, but he'll be the brains. She's going to be the translator, and she'll tell them what to do. Vincenzo is going to tell Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche what to do,

24:31because in this plan, they're the workers. They're the workers, correct. Mother, God damn it. This is so stupid. I cannot stand it for a minute. The idea that they're all going to put on a pair of overalls, put like pencils behind their ears and start building shit. And in a world where this was the case, you know, Blanche is not doing any of this. No. Not paying for a lick of it. Rose, probably Rose would be good at that. No, it's like the bowling episode. All she's going to care about is the outfit. Exactly. And she's just going to like, hoodwink them into doing the work, and then she's the only one who's going to receive any of the actual monetary value of remaking the garage. Now, to be fair, Dorothy has done plumbing work. You know she's gone up on that roof. We've talked about it. No question. I think she could build, considering all those things she can whittle. She's the only one I think could actually get this done. I think it would be. Rose, if left alone. And it would be outrageously good. Did she one time like try to turn the heat on and accidentally turn the air conditioning on in a way that could not be turned off in the middle of a freeze?

25:32Yes. She did do that. Right. But could she build a lead certified? Yeah. And I think that it would come with some yelling. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. She doesn't need big rows on the beach. Yeah, exactly. You are not allowed to talk. You're not allowed to talk what we work. That's right. Just the idea that they're going to do this. Yeah. They'll have jobs, you know what I mean? So, basically says the cost is nothing. He's going to do it for free. Yeah. He also likes getting away from the center. He likes working and most of all. He likes being in the company of pretty young girls. Now, Dorothy downright dissolves. At the mere mention. No one has said a nice thing to Dorothy in 40 years. No one has complemented that woman. Yeah, exactly. If you watch Dorothy, she dissolves at the compliment. So it's a deal. Yeah. And Sophia says, good, here's a list of the pretty young girls he wants. And she hands that list to Dorothy. It is, it's definitely not you.

26:32So next scene, Rose is in the living room waiting for Al. They're supposed to be going on a date to the movies. She's reading a TV guide. She looks great. She does. She goes to the door because the doorbell rings. And of course, it's Al, they kiss. She's all excited. And you know, she's like, I know we're just going to the movies, but she felt like dressing up. Because you know, they haven't been going out. So she's mother, they haven't been going out for three days. I'm going to say Al, let's give it. Let's say I'm just saying it in her mind. Just to be generous, it's been three days. Exactly. Since they've gone out, he's been her tire for, I'm going to say 72 hours. Listen, you're preaching as a choir. She is like, she is so stir crazy from not being taken out for a wild night for the first time in three days. She's gotten to get all dressed up hair and makeup. He's had a change of heart, Patrick. Yeah. He doesn't want to go to the movies. You want to know why? Why? Because he's worked every day of his life for the last 65 fucking years at a deli. Oh, we're going into step by. We're going to get to step in it. You know what, Rose? Why don't you move back to the beach with Stephanie? Get out of here. Why don't you move in?

27:33You get the best better. Literally. He's a heating area, Al. True. Exactly. Al comes in, asks in my opinion, the politest way possible, hey, babe. Yeah. I know. I've been taking you out on the most incredible dates of your life for the last four months. We've done nothing, but just do everything you've wanted to do. For since I met you four months ago, I've been paying for all of it. Then going to work at the deli at five in the morning, you'll work an 18 hour day and then come and take you out again. But tonight, for this one time, could we maybe change plans and stay in and watch moon lighting? I still have plantar fasciitis Rose standing at my job for four years. I just want to sit for a minute. Just for one night. Could we pop a week? Maybe. Maybe we'll just watch that episode of moon lighting. Rose? Stand it up. It's a special episode. She screams. Screams. Hello. Hi. I'm in to you lately. Before you retired, you were the most active man I ever knew.

28:35Like, I had to run to keep up with you. Now you're nothing but a couch potato. Isn't there one thing you've always dreamed of doing? I was dreamed of retiring. Rose, it sounds like you're maybe just bored with me. Look, let's take a rain check on tonight. OK, I'm feeling kind of tired anyway. L. Damn. Oh, damn. Rose! Elizabeth Nyland. The man has been working at a deli in Miami that he holds for eight. And he's still giving you a passionate love-making experience. He brought you champagne. He might have a drinking problem. The man has been employing people, giving people health insurance, being an upstanding member of the community for 60 fucking years, Rose. Oh, Jesus. Well, she's telling him. She's just laying it on thick. She's like, you should do more. You've earned it. Is there one thing you've always dreamed of doing? He's like, I always dreamed of retiring. I was like, exactly. Live your best life out. If you can, the guy can get one day, one goddamn day, mother.

29:39He gets up, grabs his jacket, politely, by the way. He's shocked. He seems a little pissy in his response. Yeah. You want to know why, mother? Because he's been working every day of his life for 65 years in a deli. And he's just named for his ball. Yes. She's like, let me just cut your balls off. Yeah. They tell you like, what a bad time I've been having for the last three days since you've been retired. But the one thing he's been dreaming of doing his entire life, he did it now, she's bad. He's like, you know what? You are not seeing me. You're not hearing me. Yeah. You're not respecting the 65 years I've just been at the deli in Miami, rather than yell at you about it, I'm going to take myself out of this situation, go home, decide how I feel about it. He doesn't break up with her. He's like, I'll call you tomorrow. This is that discernment thing we talked about in episodes of your, the number of times I've done that. Just let things go because you're like, yeah, no, I'm not engaging in this. No. And then Rose sits down on the couch and falls to pieces. She can't understand what she did wrong. Speaking of fall to pieces, one thing I love about the Golden Girls and I know you do

30:42two cheesecakes is until I rewatch an episode, sometimes I'm like, oh, I know what's coming. I know what's coming. And this moment has lived rent free in Miami. And this is a Betty White brava, so she says Al, Al, but then pause, pause, pause. Yeah. It's the way she says, damn, you know what you did in my head, you know, you did grow. You made this guy who's been working for 65 years at a deli in Miami, feel bad about taking three days off in his retirement, three days. Why don't you go talk to your best friend, Stephanie, exactly. So we have a music transition again. And there's another odd closeup of the garage. I guess because the main action takes place there. Yeah. And to get there, you have to go via portal. I don't know if I, I don't know if we've talked about that. Circular side. You have to take a close portal. You actually, I looked this up in Jim Collucci's book. According to Jim Collucci, you actually can't enter the garage any other way, but through the portal. Oh, okay. So you have to actually go into the kitchen, go through the portal to go into the garage. Got it. Yeah. What was the name of that amusement park in Vernon, New Jersey as the whole documentary?

31:43Class action park. Class action park. Our action park. Class, yes, but the documentary class action park. So I'm imagining that this enclosed circular tube in the metal, it's absolutely enclosed. And there are several teeth that are embedded on the top. Yes, yes, yes, absolutely, exactly. So Vincenzo speaking in Italian, Sophia's translating, the gals are all standing over saw horses and they have, you know, work tools everywhere. Because the idea that they're beginning to work today and they're going to start with something simple, like installing this window. Now I have a thought here, mother. Yeah. I think this is a very weird scene. Okay. I feel like it would be better if it was like a musical, like this feels, this scene feels very musical. Like got a stuff of chicken. Yeah, well, no, no, no, no, no, no, like I'm imagining it as a scene in a musical. You got like Danny Burstein in a wheelchair, you know what I mean, as Vincenzo, obviously, you know, then you got everybody else's who they are, but Danny Burstein is in the musical version of Tim or an orbit Leo, but it's interchangeable. Yes. I think we should cast a real Italian. Do you know, Marty?

32:44Mario Cuntone. Greg, you'd be a great Vincenzo. He'd be great. Wonderful. I'm just thinking like, I like Vincenzo in this, clearly Grace Braypaint in the hair. Exactly. So he's inspecting the workers first. And of course, he, it looks like he smacks Blanche's ass and then he twists his mustache like a, like a railroad track villain. I know. You know, in the, in the, in the true 1980s, sexual harassment in the workplace is completely acceptable. Yeah. He like pinchers her, but she squeals, pretends to be mad for a second, but then thinks it's adorable. Yeah. And that's of course what Patrick said. We find out it was a pinch, right? Yeah. I said he straight up sexually assaults Blanche. He does. He's giving instructions of, you know, each one doing one thing or another. Of course, he assigns Blanche the job of screwing exactly. Exactly. And still another great delivery, Blanche, you'll be doing the screwing and he came up with that one on his own. I swear. Yes. And so they get to work and they quickly obviously realize it would be like me trying to install a window and like, this is not going to work. So he comes up Vincenzo that is with another idea. He'll bring his crew to finish the job at no additional charge.

33:47Yes. You know, they were like, why would he want to do it for free? Because he's seen Alan's adorned Auburn stop backs again. Question. Yes. And then Al enters. Hey, he's got some pep in his step. I think that he went home, sort of took what Rose said to heart. He's back with the bottle of champagne. That's right. Now why you always got champagne in the middle of the day? You know what I mean? Might have a drinking problem. No judgment here, but hey, I'm noticing it. It's foreign the afternoon. Dorothy's like, you want to split that exactly. It's time for me to get my PJs. It is truly. Al tells Rose he's had this dream. It is one dream I used to have, sailing around the world. And like you said, what better time to follow my dream than during my retirement? And so I decided, I'm going to do it. You booked yourself on a cruise. Better. I bought my own boat and I hired a crew. You what? It cost me my entire life savings, but I don't care. I'm going to sail around the world. And it's all because of you. And I want you to come along with me. He took every penny he saved from the 65 years of working at a deli in Miami to buy

34:48a boat, hire a crew, and go around the world. Now, even if this trip were to work out, how's that money going to work out for you, Al? You got to buy food on that trip. I'm very nervous about it, but this is to your point, all because Rose didn't want to sit on the couch and watch Moonlighting. That's a weird way of saying that Rose bullied him into his life savings. Into being financially irresponsible and throwing his savings away. Exactly. Oh my God. I have here, and this will come be salient later. His plan here, this is not for me. Yeah. I would love to be great at sailing. I'm not. I get sick. I get sick. My friend, Michael, lives on a boat. He and his husband, Bruce, they live on a boat and they, like, this is their life. Like, they sail everywhere. I can do a cruise ship. Yeah. And if the waters are a little too choppy, it can be rough for me, but it has to be a very big like that kind of ship. I've never been on a cruise. The plan doesn't allow it because of how everybody dies on cruises. I don't know if you know about this, but you either die or go missing. That's right. And by the way, one of your eggs, poops, poops and red bags.

35:49And we learned this that when you're 12 miles offshore, you're in international water. So it's like in the Amy Bradley documentary, if you go missing, literally, like, the security on the ship is in charge. Yeah. And like, there's no police coming to save you. Cruises are terrible. Yeah. No, that's why. I mean, I capped in and now we're getting into like royal Navy stuff, but I mean, you know, way back when and wore fair and ships, but on a ship, a captain is God, essentially, you know, no, like I do want to go. I now that I kind of have this dream of going on a gay cruise with Steve. I think that would be really fun. Yeah. But I'm very afraid of cruises. Okay. So next scene we're in the kitchen. It's the middle of the night. You know, Rose has been cooking and apparently it stinks. Yeah. She's taking stuff out of the oven. It's two in the morning. Some crazy version of rice crispies, I guess it's a Scandinavian man. It's called perhuffin crispy about just perhuffin crispy. That's right. And I guess the trick to eating this is because he's asking Blanchon to endure it.

36:51They were trying to try and they're like, that absolutely fucking not. But you have to hold your nose and then it tastes like different things. Do I think they're delicious? You just have to know how to eat them. Now hold your nose with one hand and your pop a crispy in your mouth with the other. It tastes like cheesecake, fresh strawberries and chocolate ice cream. I gosh you're right. That is the best thing I have ever tasted. Oh, this is delicious. Oh. Hey, give me a break. You can't smell that from the whole. Just another Sophia fart joke. It's very disgusting, but it's also very funny. Well, the cooking's not working, Patrick Rose is still upset. Yes. And I'm uncomfortable seeing Rose sitting on the stool. Yes, I know. The forced seating situation. It's so funny. The half moon of it all, every single time, it's so funny. But she's feeling like she's now like forced out into doing something that she didn't want to do.

37:51Yeah. And do you know why she feels that way? Because that's exactly what she did. That's exactly what fucking happened, Rose. I mean, she's like, oh, I couldn't go. I have responsibilities. So not only has he depleted his life savings, you let him on fire. You let him on fire. And now you're not even going to go with him. And by the way, it doesn't seem to me that Al has like a wife and kids anywhere because he gave his life to the deli Rose. He gave his life to the deli. And now you're all he has. And you're going to let him go in this silly adventure by himself because you have responsibilities. What do you get Rose? I know. Honestly, what do you have? A daughter that fucking hates you and now I know why I have nothing to contribute because you entertain me. I'm sorry. Don't be. I love it. She made a love vote. He spent all of his money and now she's not even going to go. And now I'm just imagining lonely Al out there in the middle of the open ocean with his crew by himself throwing himself into the Pacific. Yeah. Because of Rose. He never had a wife like, didn't have his kids. He lost his deli. Now he doesn't even have Rose.

38:52He's that champion, he's man overboard. He's still an alcoholic. Exactly. What is he going to do? You know, Dorothy is saying, like Rose, why wouldn't you go? Like, I know exactly what I would say if a man asked me to sail around the world. My note here is that this is Sofia's finest moment of the entire season. Okay. Because she just screwed, please. Please, you can't get anybody asked you out for a cup of coffee. Sail around the world. That will be the day. Like there's a line waiting around the block. We'll have to install one of those tickets, but she's like, they have it at the bakery around the world. Yeah, I get the picture. And she says to your point, she's so savage to her own daughter. I do. There's moments like this where I feel like Sofia's one of those parents who's starting to see it as a reflection on her that her daughter can find a man. Oh, yeah, you know, not to mention the worry, right? Yeah. And you know, and Blanche says, you know, maybe you are responsible, but it got him off his duff. What's wrong with that? Patrick. Look, the man never married. He never had children, get a deli, and now he's got a girlfriend.

39:54You know what I mean? He gave his life to the deli. He's given his life to Rose every the man just wants 10 minutes to sit at. That's all. Yeah. Let him just let him live. Let him live. You know what I mean? Yes, I know what you mean. Yeah, it doesn't make me happy. All right. Well, they ask Rose. Hasn't she done anything wild and crazy and petuous? She says absolutely not that they were forced to sign a pledge when they were 15 and saying all of this, yeah, that they won't do any of those things. Yeah, it keeps people from, it keeps people from painting their houses, silly colors. You know what that made me think of? The Westboro Baptist Church. Oh, okay. And like Fred Phelps was the pastor, horrible homophobic, the absolute worst. The person who bought the house across the street from their compound painted their, like a rainbow pride. They painted the house like a rainbow pride flag. That's just, I just love it. Perfect. I know. I say the people of St. Olaf go paint your house to silly colors. Go paint at the silly colors. You know, Rose says she has to sleep on it, right? Yeah. So Phia is like, you know, how about my sexual problems? Sleep on it. Men, sex. All I do is listen to your sexual problems.

40:54How about my sexual problems? Ma, what is your sexual problem? I don't get any. And I read in a magazine where a woman is at a sexual peak in 83. So Phia, I read that same article, honey, it was 33. Really? Then all those feelings I've been having lately must be colitis. And the same with Sophia realizing that she must have been conflating that with colitis. Which is why she's farting down the hallway. That's right. Now with the Home Depot, receive 12 months special financing and free basic installation on carpet projects with life proof, life proof with petproof technology, home decorators collection, and traffic master carpets. Bring a new look to your floors, or give them a durable surface that stands up to life's tough messes. Get 12 months special financing on installed carpet projects right now at the Home Depot. Offer Bell at March 12th, March 29th, 2026, exclusions and additional charges may apply for licenses, see Home Depot.com slash license numbers.

41:56So next scene, we're back in the garage. Now remember, Vincenzo was bringing in his like work crew. And we cut to, it's like a bunch of old men in walkers just like milling about the garage. Yep. Dorothy says it looks like the road company of cocoon. That is a really funny joke. That's a great joke. That's a really, very, very, very good rose comes in asked to they are Dorothy says again, the osman brothers rose to years without Donnie have not been kind to them. Can I tell you I saw Donnie osman and Joseph in the amazing tech color dream code on tour when I was like, like freshman in high school, Donnie osman, like just bear shirt, like no shirt. Yeah. Like it was a sexual awakening for me. Oh, that man's body was stellar. Listen, I think I mentioned this on a prior episode, but if I didn't, here we go. Okay. So I loved as a child, I loved Sean Cassidy. Oh, yeah. When I was six years old and when I was seven years old, I, I loved Donnie osman and the show. Um, well, fast forward years later, Sean Cassidy came to see Hello Dolly and like we

42:57tweeted back and forth and it was crazy. I was so excited. Oh my God. Um, Donnie osman as well. I have some sort of post from him because he came to see disaster and I have a picture with him. And I mean to say these were some of my, I had many crushes, but these were two of the big ones. Donnie osman. But I remember saying something that was so psychotic at seven years old. What did you say? I remember saying we were going to write letters to celebrities in school. Oh my God. And I ended up not picking him because it was psychotic, like, you know, like I think a teacher was like, you can't really do that. But I said, it's like, you know, like dear Donnie, you have to marry me. Otherwise my dad will come beat you up. Oh my God. Beat you up if you don't marry me. Oh, I love it. It's just extortion. I mean, I just love seven year old you with your fucking sight set of marrying into the osman family. Listen. Listen, I am a little bit rock and roll exactly, exactly. So, you know, we're just saying these are when you two's friends, they're here to, you

44:01know, turn the garage into the guest room or whatever. Yes. This has not made up her mind about what she's going to do. She's still confused. So, Sophia tells a story that she says is being translated from what Vincenzo is saying. Which is why, because Vincendo can't understand a word of English except he fully understands what's going on with Rose. Right. So the sitcom can happen. I'm just going to summarize here that the gist of the story is if you don't take risks in life, that's no way to live. Yes. And this story helps Rose make her decision and decide to take a risk and throw it all to the wind. The other important thing that happens in this scene is that the women are banished from coming back into the garage until it's finished. Yes. That's an important to the storytelling. Why Patrick? Why are they banning? Well, they're not allowed to come in. They're not like they need to let the men do their work and they're not allowed to come and check on the progress. So next scene, we're on Al's boat for like the Bon Voyage party. Yeah. It looks like this beautiful yacht. Dorothy is dressed like Sophia. Sophia is dressed like Dorothy. Let me just say I said, of course, Dorothy's fancy party outfit is diarrhea brown.

45:03And it's got that like old lady lace collar. Yes, exactly. And then Sophia's giving draping for days, you know. Well, she's also wearing the chain that's drying the eye to that unfortunate spare tire. You know what I mean? Excellent call back. I'm just coming here. Yay. What a comic genius. And Sophia says like they left Sophia back in the parking lot and she's like, Thanks a lot for leaving you back in the parking lot. It's not like getting unsaved for the characters hanging around the docks by night. Ma, there's nobody here like that. I know. But I gave it a minute. I thought I'd be able to line something up for you for Saturday. So Sophia's coming so hard for Dorothy. So hard. Always, always. Rose annoying. Oh, boy, girls. Yeah. I'm a board. They start drinking champagne because Al's. Al's. That's champagne. Oh, girl. Oh, my God. Well, we have a joke here and we can't let an episode goodbye without insulting Dorothy's looks. The joke is so funny. Oh, I love champagne. Oh, me too.

46:03The only problem is after a few glasses I'll kiss any man in sight. That was just a coincidence, Dorothy. Man overboard. No, it's just a coincidence, Dorothy. I am screaming. That is so funny. Funny. This is going to send you. Please, let me, let me ramp you up. Yeah. So Al starts to tell Rose, Rose, there's something I have to tell you. She interrupts him. Yes. Yes. Because she's, he's, he's talked interrupts him. Al is saying that his, his one big dream for his life is to like sail around the world on a boat. Yeah. That would imply that Al has spent some time on a boat. I think we're learning that this is Al's first time on a boat, which tells me he felt so bullied by Rose in that scene where she was demanding that he come up with something that he wanted to do with like his dream phrase retirement.

47:04He invented fantasy. Right. Here's something savage for you. Fezin is mid fifties. Yeah. I don't know how old he is. I'm going to say that because that's all the gals are, you know, we're maybe early sixties. But, you know, is he having a midlife crisis because this isn't the brightest decision. No. Prior to him even stepping on the boat. Yes. But for someone to have never realized that they were seasick before investing their entire life savings, that is stupid with a tea. The other thing is he invented the look, the backstory here, according to Jim Clucci's book, just kidding, is that he like he invented wanting to go on a boat forever because he thought that's what Rose wanted to do. He spent his entire life savings on this boat and now he's realizing he can't do it. I remember though in this section thinking that's really A to Z, what he's done. I mean, it's like, talk about an all or nothing. There is something in between now. Oh, sure. They could go on a cruise, for example. Right. No.

48:04Too late, mother. I'm starting to tell you. Well, I know. He took all of the money he's had in the world out of the bank, bought this boat, hired the crew. And now he's breaking the nooster because she has just interrupted him to tell him that she'll go with him anywhere because she, you know, the north star will be their guide. But he tells her, I think I'm going to puke, I think I'm going to puke. But it finally dawns on her and she's like, look, we don't have to do that. We can do other things. Oh, that's nice. Rose, Al is now homeless. He has nowhere to live. He has no money or now he's going to live on the boat and be sick all the time. She says, well, don't be sick. Look what we're about to do. We were both about to do. Most people will never even leave. Sure. And by the way, you haven't left. Sure yet, Rose. You're still dying. Exactly. You're left to realize he's going to have to resell the boat. Yeah. And I guess it's a sunk cost with the crew. He's hired. I guess. And you know, he's not going to be able to sell the boat for what he bought it for. He's going to take a loss. And we think about this. Look, we talk about this all the time, like some sort of safety and retirement.

49:07Yeah. All the guy wanted to do was watch moonlighting for one night. Right. He got bullied and divided. Just like talk about all or nothing. Yeah. So she starts to say, you know, she starts as we were discussing that there's other adventures they can do, like they could go to space mountain at Disney World. And she starts to describe it, which just makes him vomit. Exactly. Loop de loops and up and down and all around. And that's it. Like series finale for Al. Like by Al. Good luck. Girl. Good luck out there. Good luck out there. Yeah. Because in the next episode, we know Rose is back on the market. Exactly. Truly. She didn't waste any time. I was such a loser, right Rose? That's right. We're in the kitchen. Rose comes in looking all cute. Lanch and daughter drinking coffee. Yeah. Like, and you know, her and Al are going out for a picnic in the park to hear the Philharmonic. Like things are fine between Rose and Al. That's right. Right. And I wrote, yeah, he thinks you're probably fine because he's gone back to work at the deli that he used to own. Well, he has to save more money because he lost all his money. Wait.

50:08So now he's working for $10 an hour at the deli that he owns. Y'all just, and he still hasn't watched that great episode of me. A movie. Exactly. Exactly. She says, Vincenzo says he's finished. She wants us to take a look. Yes. And so they go out there and they've converted the garage into a garage into a garage. Into a garage. So right back the way it was. Breaking out. Right. Sophia says there's been a misunderstanding. It was a slight misunderstanding. You see, insistly, every region has its own dialect. Actually, every town has its own dialect. Actually, every household has its own dialect. This also explains why the Italian army is as effective as a Jamaica. He said he's sorry. He made the mistake. He'll be glad to turn this back into a bedroom. And they said he's not raised a finger really, nor spent a dime of her own money. Yes. Says she could not live through that again. Now, at this point, we do a cutaway of Estelle Getty, so that we can hear a voice over of her speaking Italian.

51:10And it is, they're not even trying to match this out. And it's terrible. Thank him for his work and say he must be very proud. Grazie of Inchanzo. Oun Oferta. Cainon Poi. Refutati. This woman was born in Italy. I know. Lived in Italy. Yeah. To adulthood. I have clearly Sophia has never spoken a word of Italian in her life. It's the most amen. And I kind of love that they just were like, we're going to do the best we can here. Yeah, we're just going to do the best. I was thinking to you about the day that they must have recorded that with Estelle Getty. Look, if it were me and you had to teach me like a full phrase in Italian, you would take me a full day. Yeah, exactly. You know, it's not easy for anyone probably to let alone someone who is suffering with dementia. Yeah. And it's also funny, too, because just in sitcoms, the camera is always on the person who's talking. Except for in this instance, where it has to go. I don't even know what they were showing us a shot of. She's like, she's like, oh, Bueno, Capuchino.

52:10Like, it was just hilarious. Well, she thinks that she accidentally promised Dorothy's hand in marriage. Yeah. Because he's coming after Dorothy, like, best in show, like a dog and she's made of ham. He is chasing her out the ladies out of the brush, dragging his wheelchair behind him. Some leads to Miracle, he can walk. I know. You know, maybe get some. They don't. They don't. Oh, my God. So funny. So Jesus, before we go, there were some kind of a mix up and we got the mini ditties for a different episode on this, but it's about bank robberies gone wrong, my mother. Because we were talking about it earlier. Yeah. What would it be like if Patrick robbed a bank and what would it be like if I robbed a bank? Oh, my God. You could be one of these stories. I'm guessing. Oh, my God. Tell me everything. So here's story number one. On December 17th, 2024, a recent, a man entered a first national bank in Loveland, Colorado, a little before 5 p.m. holding a handwritten note. For classic bank robbing tactic, we discussed it.

53:11It's an attempt to make away with as much money as the robber can without making a scene. The problem was the bank robber's handwriting was atrocious. Oh, God. Completely illegible. Chicken scratch. If the chicken were trying to scratch while writing a roller coaster. Oh, no. So the tellers in ability to make heads or tails of what was written on the note. So frustrated, the bank robber, that he abandoned the whole idea and left without stealing so much as a penny. I was going to say, like, that's the bank tellers' worst nightmare. Like, because you know, they're instructed to just give the money. But imagine you can't read what it says. And you know that there's a gun on you where something. And she was just like, she was just like, loaf at wheat things. Is this your grocery list, sir? Oh, my God. Let's go shredded wheat. Did that get in trouble? I just said you got in trouble. I don't know. Oh, my God. That is wild. And then this other one, I love. A 47-year-old man will soon be paying the price of his crime and clumsiness after he made a crucial error upon robbing a bank in Fife, Scotland last year, disguised in a pillowcase mask. Oh, God. Hearing on the case recently brought out that he was forced to remove the pillowcase right after putting it on

54:12because it turned out that he could not see. This was due to a failure to create eye holes. Stop that. And that's my little ditty on bank robberies gone rock. Can you imagine this is great? That is exactly how I would rob a bank. You know what I mean? That's exactly how I would do it. Oh, my God. You would have a little hand writing. Yeah. And a pillowcase is no eye holes. Oh, geezies, we love you. Thanks for listening to our podcast. Episode 22 of season 3, Rommelstent Season 3. Season 3 is almost done, geezies. Well, followers on social media, there's some great, great content there. Golden Girls, Deep Dive on TikTok and Instagram. If you want to see my rants, I'm sure Aaron cut them up and put them there. I want to see and hear and read and maybe make some new friends, some nice things, nice people. Yeah. Go to our Facebook group. The Golden Girls, Deep Dive podcast discussion group. And geezies, if we haven't said it before, we really appreciate you. Thank you for being a friend. We love you. Bye.

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