r/NeckbeardStories | BEST PLACE TO MEET CHICKS? FUNERALS!!

0:00Somehow, the morgue still smells better than this neckbeard. Neckbeard wouldn't leave me alone while I was at work. PS, I work at a funeral home. And you wouldn't think that job is too creepy until the neckbeard walks in. Here's some background. So I work at a funeral home as a director's assistant. I'm currently in school to be a funeral director. It's not as creepy as you'd think. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to message me. So working as a director's assistant is the perfect job to get experience. It's not a job that I could do, I think. The couple of people I've known that have done it were a little bit off, but a bit of a reserved judgment about this O.P. I'm one of few young people at my work. I'm 20, so I always get asked questions about my job by guests at services that I'm working. My basic duties are setting up for funerals, cleaning up afterwards, greeting guests assisting

1:01with paperwork, leading funeral possessions, things like that. Oh, you're not really dealing with the bodies. I thought you had to get them dressed and put makeup on them or something. I guess it's just like being a wedding coordinator, but for a dead person. So yeah, I could do that job, I think. I'm not going to have any bride zilas in that line of work, right? While I'm at work, I'm required to wear a suit. It's my choice if that's with a skirt or pants, but tonight I wore a pencil skirt, a button up white shirt, a blazer, a pair of ballet flats, very sensible outfit if you ask me. Sensible is the word that I would choose. Tonight I was working an evening visitation that was four hours long, so just a lot of standing and talking to guests. About halfway through someone walked over to me and stood uncomfortably close. Enter neckbeard. I guess funeral beard, why not? He was tall and lanky with greasy long hair and a stubbly attempt at a beard and a mustache.

2:03He was wearing an unbuttoned gray vest over a spider-man t-shirt. I have the power of minutes left to live. A shit web. Have you no reverence for the dead, sir? You just amiss. You put the vest on. You couldn't even button it. I have a cold, so luckily I couldn't smell him, which I am grateful for. This conversation is what follows. Funeral beard. Excuse me. O.P. Yeah. How can I help you? Funeral beard. I have to ask, why is a fine young woman such as herself working at a funeral? Well, this went from zero to 100. I'm going to tell you that. Who asked you? But O.P. is at work, so instead she just says, well, I'm in school to be a mortician, so this is really good experience. Funeral beard.

3:04Why would you go to school for that? You could have a nice job like a teacher or a nurse. How is your world view this small? I just want to ask you that. We met our only teachers and nurses, all of them. He sees a lady mechanic his head's going to explode. O.P. defends herself saying, I actually really like my job. I get to help families through a really difficult part of their life. Funeral beard. It don't be silly. You don't help families. You just charge them a lot of money for pointless frills that go along with death. Those pointless frills do provide a lot of closure though. You think you'd have closure if we just kicked them in a hole and lit them on fire? No. At this point, O.P. says, I was uncomfortable. And I just wanted to get away, so I told him I had to go brew some more coffee for the visitation, and I walked away.

4:05A little while later, while I'm greeting people arriving, neckbeard came back over to me and began chatting again. Funeral beard. It's a lovely service, isn't it? Yes, all of these pointless frills have surely made it an experience to remember. O.P. just says, yeah, I think it's going really well. It's a great turnout. I can tell Insepticease person's name here was very well loved. Funeral beard. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know if my parents made me come with. And they couldn't even make you slip into like a plain white t-shirt. You got to wear the fucking Spider-Man t-shirt. Should've left him in the car, left the windows rolled up, child locks on. He a little bit heatstroke. My fixes brain parts in some way we can't predict. Now this neckbeard looked to be in at least his late 20s, so I'm not sure how his parents made him come. Oh, come on. We both know how O.P. Like you want to keep living in this basement, you got to come and do the funeral thing.

5:08He's like, come on, my guilt's going to rain a world of warcraft. Maybe that joke's a little too close to comfort for me, at least for time. O.P. just says, well, it's nice you decided to come and show your support. Funeral beard. Ehh, so what do you do it after this? O.P. I'd forgotten that I had my name tag on with my first and last name on it. Well that is a terrible policy. First or last please. Even if you get away from the funeral, the Facebook stockings going to happen. O.P. says, I'm just cleaning up and then I'm going home and sleeping. It's going to be an early morning tomorrow because I'm working the funeral. It was a night visitation with the funeral in the morning. Also big mistake letting him know that I'd be there tomorrow. Funeral beard. Ehh, you'll be here tomorrow. I'll get to see your lovely face again.

6:08Oh gosh. I'm calling it sick. O.P. Yeah, it's my job. What? Ehh, and he still can't make that distinction. Funeral beard. Wonderful. You'll light up my day. I'll look forward to chatting tomorrow. You'll light up my day. Ehh, on top of that, who hits on anyone at a funeral? Collegor, a pretty young lady questioning her job. Talk about her lovely face. Ehh, unfortunately, the social contract dictates that we still can't really let him have both barrels because he hasn't said anything outright. And it's infuriating me. O.P. just says, yeah, okay, well, I need to keep working, awkwardly smiling and turning away. You can just do that at the funeral tomorrow too, right?

7:10At this point, my coworker came over to me and we were just talking business. Nothing interesting. Funeral beard, however, just hovered behind me. He continued to follow me for the whole night like a vulture. Oh, God. When I finally got off work, you can guess who had found my Facebook and had proceeded to message me and friend request me. That's right. Funeral beard. Ehh, this knew it was coming. These are things you could feel in your bones. His message said, funeral beard. Hello, ma'am. Ma'am. Ehh, so step up from a lady, but also she's younger than you are. I'm so confused. It was so lovely seeing you today. I feel like we connected. Did you feel that too? No. No. Let's see. This is outright. This, you can respond to it. I feel no connection whatsoever.

8:10Let's get that straight right now. You're so beautiful in your profile picture. I didn't realize you were a figure skater. My profile picture is not of me figure skating. I figure skating when I was younger and he had to have looked far back into my pictures to find that younger like underage. No, no, no, no, no, no, do this to me. I won't. Officer, right there. I feel I won't. Come on. It could have just been a terrible interaction without having to turn illegal. God damn it. Funeral beard continues. I know it's so you would love that's about figure skating. I'll share it with you tomorrow when we meet again. Until then, kisses. Um, what? And then there's a bunch of sal faces here, which means I think this was ripped from a Q-star video. So this poster couldn't find the original post, but that's fine.

9:13It's still good eats. Still got my own spin. So I'm guessing that he's going to tell me that I'd like Yuri on ice or some crap, which I do, but I'm not going to let him know that. I looked up this thing and now we can make a connection. Wow, I would hate that. And then he's going to follow me around the whole service all day tomorrow because yes, of course, a funeral service is the appropriate time to try and flirt with someone at a fucking funeral service. It never even registered to him. I guarantee that this was a bad thing. He just saw a lady and sent his phasers to stud. Please don't do this. I know this isn't a very bad encounter, but I thought it was kind of funny just because it takes place at a funeral. Yeah, there's some inherent comedy there. That's why I caught my eye at it. I just got off work. I'm literally still in the parking lot and oh my god, it got so much better.

10:17I was dragged out to laugh the entire time. So I decided today to bring back one of my old tricks from when I had worked at a bar. I wore a fake wedding ring. There you go. And when anyone asked, I said I was happily engaged. I filled my coworker in the adorable 70 year old man who is as sweet as can be on what was happening. Neckbeard followed me around the entire time, not just during visitation, during the actual service. He didn't go into the church chapel. He just sat in the lobby and stared at me. He didn't say a word. It's lurked. God, if I could just get like a stream of consciousness recording of what's going through his brain right now, that would be the finest cringe that we've ever laid eyes upon. Why aren't you saying anything? Stop looking at me. Can we say any of these things? I guess not. After the service was done, I began cleaning up.

11:18A funeral beard walked over to me and started trying to talk to me. I didn't even hear a word he said before my coworker started with his genius plan that I didn't know about. Co-worker? Oh, oh, P. I'm so happy for you and your fiance. Have you picked the date for the wedding yet? Oh, P. Oh, not yet. It's all just so new. Oh, we're thinking next spring, though. Co-worker. Mmm, spring weddings are beautiful. Can't wait till I get my invite. Don't mention funeral beard cuts them off. You're engaged! Why did I not hear of this before? It's surely you didn't have a ring on yesterday. I mean, you never asked. I thought we were just having a passing chat, O.P. says, yeah, I am engaged and I definitely had a ring on. You probably just didn't notice. I then shoved my left hand into his face to show the ring. A bit of light gas lighting. before the great to good.

12:20He then grabbed my hand and tried to pull off the ring. I jumped back and whipped my hand away. The remaining people at the church began to stare. Yeah, you've definitely just crossed the line here, friendo. I'm sure he was gonna look for a tan line or something, but because he didn't get to see the tan line, now he's totally in the right, right? She was totally lying the whole time. What she was, but yeah, you've overstepped your boundaries way too many times now. Co-worker interrupts this moment and says, Whoa, there buddy, calm down. He took a step between us and crossed his arms. The co-workers turning into a Chad, co-worker. I think you need to leave. The service is over. Oh, he's not interested in you and you. Acting like an ass. Funeral beard. Sir, I make no disrespect. She's just so lovely and sweet and I know she has these feelings for me because we talked

13:23last night. Were any feelings expressed last night? No, it's just you gushing, sending a message this morning over an unrequited Facebook request. Gushing. Co-worker corrects the script. You mean you stalked her at her place of work, which she can't be rude to people because she's scared of being fired? Yeah, well, no such luck. Even though she's too scared to be rude, I'm not. I'm 74 and I have to put up with more bullshit than this. Is it just me or that he just double in size in my mind? He isn't imposing figure. Funeral beard. O.P. Let's go for a chat. He could escort you to your car. O.P. Actually, I'm not com co-worker in the reps. She's not interested. Buckaroo. Slow down there, Buckaroo.

14:23Yes, he really said Buckaroo. It just adds to the chat, Lee. This for me, honestly. Now leave before I need to escort you to your car. He didn't say pal, but I imagine that he did. Buckaroo. Next beard then huffed and puffed and made his way to the car. I'll update again if he ends up messaging me on Facebook, but in the meantime, oh my god, I love my co-worker. He definitely saved your bacon right there. Fudo Beads probably like, is this her dad or something? I don't understand what's going on. No, it's just bros being bros. Humans looking out for humans, right? He's 74. He's seen what goes on before, so good on him for stepping up, running some interference there. O.P. never did post an update. This post deleted from a profile, but the video is still looking a little bit short, so let's get something else in here.

15:25Some tasty, original content from my personal subreddit, r-slash-redx-reads. Oh, this looks like a good one. Let's go over there right now. The fearsome melanchucker-neck beard of the Caribbean. Is he really like a pirate or something? Is that why everybody got scurvy? Might make a saga if this gets enough votes, which generally is my subreddit's relatively small. Most people just read. Then again, maybe eight votes is enough. I don't know. Throw away accounts, I don't use Reddit. My user is Syrina in your Discord, by the way, miscarreddix. Oh, I don't know if we talked. I'm not a problem senior. I was just lurking. Hey everyone, I've been watching YouTubers like Red X and Vinci, right? Crazy stories about neckbeards, and I wanted to share a personal story about this guy in my high school whom we will call Melanbeard. I mean, I haven't written even one story for the channel. Not by my own hand, but I am very happy to share personal stories of everybody else.

16:29Sure. Before we get into things though, I'm going to tell you about myself and the characters of this story and a little bit of warning here. Don't eat any of those green melons while reading this. Was that a cannelope or something? O.P. 16, just moved to Nassau from Freeport. I'm super nerdy and I love science and strategy games, especially stuff by Paradox Interactive and also unfortunately, League of Legends. Dun, dun, dun. I'll give you a pass on the League of Legends stuff for the Paradox stuff. You take the good, you take the bad. You take about the day you have the facts alive. The facts alive. Melanbeard also 16, chronically online, overweight, patchy, pew beard. Basically the definition of a textbook, neckbeard, just without the fedora. But it's the fedora on the inside that counts, right? Yeah, it's something like that. She got the spirit. It's surprisingly without the acne. He's loud, always tries to make random references to video games and anime that nobody's heard

17:33about in class. After school, he shows random kids his phone with some memes on it. He's just really annoying. He's trying to make a human connection, but yeah, I guess he doesn't know how because he's chronically online. Like I said, usually I give kids a lot of leeway. 16, come on. He ain't got to figure it out yet. None of us did. I put up with him for the sake of my friend group at the time. None of the members are really important to the post. If this gets enough likes though, I may make another post with some of our other incidents and more info on members of the friend group. What you should know about him though, is that they tolerated Melanbeard's advances. That's why we got a zero tolerance-malading policy around here. So let's talk about our friend ship, which began innocently enough. We shared some mutual friends and we all hung out together. At first, Melanbeard seemed tolerable, despite his appearance and distinct odor. However, his time went on, he started making advances towards me that made me feel incredibly

18:37uncomfortable. It became apparent that he had romantic feelings for me, and he wasn't shy about expressing them. Shoot him down, tolerate nothing, burn it to the ground. Unfortunately, his approach to these advances was far from romantic or respectful. Oh, that's… That's a horse of a different color. To make matters worse, he would often make these moves during lunchtime in front of our friends. Which isn't very respectful either. While my other friends tolerated his behavior, they didn't actively discourage him either, which was disheartening. Damn. Time to find a new friend group. I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place because I valued our shared interests, but I couldn't ignore his inappropriate actions. And well, you shouldn't. Let's slip the dogs of war. Those seriously, you need to tell them off in a big way. One particular incident remains etched into my memory.

19:37The infamous Melan incident. Hence the name. It happened on Valentine's Day, a day known for love and affection. The period right before lunch, Melan Beard asked me out for like, I don't know, the sixth time this year. As I said at my usual table during lunch, surrounded by the friend group, Melan Beard in a fit of frustration after yet another rejection decided to make his feelings known to the world. In a fit of rage and embarrassment, he grabbed the melon, one of the green ones, honeydew, I think. And he hurled it towards me. I vividly remember the melon hurtling through the air and then immediately plopping down on the table. Kind of like how chucking a bowling ball just falls down onto the lane because of his weak arm. It was a shocking and mortifying moment that left me feeling exposed and vulnerable. That's about the point we grabbed the melon stand up and hurled it right back at him. Oh, you want to play Melan ball, huh?

20:40I was varsity before I moved from freeport to Nassau. That's what it was, right? I remember things. In that moment, I couldn't contain any of my astonishment or frustration. What the hell are you doing, Melan Beard? I exclaimed trying to make sense of his outburst. Melan Beard, his anger still evident, replied, I can't take it anymore. It would nothing but nice to you. You'd be there for you and all I get is rejection. I love you. I deserve a chance. Bro, you don't even love yourself. You're incapable of loving another person. Nobody deserves nothing, not in this whole life. I took a deep breath trying to find the right words to express my feelings. Melan Beard, we've had this conversation so many times before. I don't have romantic feelings for you and that's not going to change.

21:41Your behavior is making me incredibly uncomfortable and throwing a melon at me is not going to win my heart. It's very mature response for a 16 year old. I would have gone with Huck and the melon back at him, but you know, different strokes, defensively Melan Beard shot back. Well, maybe if you gave me a chance to see how amazing we could be together, I'm a nice guy. There it is. Oh wait, he's an Eckbeard. Yeah, they're one of the same. Unlike all those jerks you hang out with. I haven't dated anyone ever. I do go hang out with some boys after school, but we literally just split our homework up between each other, which was what he was talking about. At least I think. Now trust me, OP, he's got this whole intricate fantasy life planned out for you. Your club chicken you wear too much makeup and chat is coming over every weekend. Every minute you're not in this site, he's obsessing.

22:43And all of that build up is kind of what created this outburst. Doesn't make it right, but maybe it does explain his reasoning sort of. Anyways, OP takes a moment together her thoughts and then responds firmly. It's not about being nice, melon beard, it's about respect and boundaries. I've made it abundantly clear that I'm not interested and you need to accept that. Our friendship is over. Never speak to me again, you disgusting pig. So you did burn it to the ground. Hey, that's so nice. Happy ending all as well that ends well. I'm sure he stayed away from you after that, didn't he? Right? Didn't he? I walked away to the table with those guys that I work on my homework with, mostly because I didn't really have anyone else to talk to, but I was done with melon beard. I was done with that piece of crap friend group who enabled him. I was done with all of them and I needed to start fresh. See you got options, that's nice.

23:43I couldn't continue to endure melon beard's relentless advances and the discomfort that they brought into my life. Nor should you have to. I severed basically all ties with him, avoiding mid school and distancing myself from our mutual friend group. It wasn't easy, but for my own mental health, I really did have to. Changes never easy, but this time it seems like it's for the best. So good for you. Looking back on that, after writing all this, I now realize that there was a silver lining to melon beard's behavior. It taught me the importance of standing up for myself and establishing clear boundaries, and if it means cutting ties with someone who I once considered a friend. Ultimately I learned a valuable lesson about self-respect and the significance of surrounding myself with positive and respectful individuals. Yeah, maybe there is a reason for neckbeards, you know, to teach you to draw that line for yourself and to hold it. Hold it firmly for God's sake. Melon beard is definitely a weird dude, but hopefully after letting Melady get away,

24:45he'll take a good look at his actions and think about his life. Here it's going, who he wants to be. I know there are big questions for anybody, especially an neckbeard, but hope floats. He's only 16. He's got time to figure it out, all right? Relatively interesting one off, but I think the video's still short, so let's go into this one that I found. A story about Sam and SFW. Oh, those are my favorites. No quick way to catch my eye. I'll tell you that much. So I'm going to get the trigger warnings out of the way first. This post is about me saving someone from becoming an hero, which is a sewer slide, you know, come into Minecraft, little lep-steining. I think it's Susan's gone. We could actually say suicide, but not too much. This person is also someone who I did not know at the time had been on parole for a heinous action involving soliciting action from a minor. Ew, this is a very different Sam from the surf Sam that we know and love and love

25:48to hate. This guy's just hateable. This story also includes illicit substances. I don't worry about that, so does my body. Hopefully got all that. As the story goes, a few years back, I'd been friends with a guy who I met through AA. I was a recovering alcoholic. I mean, I still am, but I don't drink until I pass out in alleys anymore. Yeah, that's the unfortunate thing. Once an addict, always an addict, etc, etc. But hey, improvements, improvements, so good on you, peep. I spent a year in the AA cult, and I did better outside of it. I'm five years past it and able to drink responsibly. There's one thing that still haunts me, however. And here is where we introduce Sam, a man around my age at the time. I was 22, he was 24, who had the same interests as me. He helped me open up to the group and feel more comfortable talking about my issues. I should clarify that Sam didn't look or act like a beard, at least not publicly.

26:52He had good hygiene and wasn't a creep, at least not publicly. He had dorky interests, but hey, as long as you don't unironically make the Nintendo Switch or anime your entire identity, then you're cool. We're all a bit intolerable about our interests to some degree. Ain't that the truth? You know how many times I start talking to YouTube analytics to people? They're like, I couldn't care less. I have to check myself. Anyways, I digress. I always put other people first, not caring about my own emotions. I have what you might call a Messiah Complex, where I find joy in sacrificing my well-being for others. Not a Messiah Complex, a martyr complex. But you got the spirit, that's fine. This will be important later. I hung out with Sam outside of AA, grabbing a bite to eat or walking around them all. We played video games. All sorts of friendly friend stuff. He helped me learn Spanish and become as fluent as I am now, to which I am grateful,

27:53but I never really pieced together why he was actually in AA. Sam was honest. You see, he would tell people that he knew were uncomfortable with LGBT plus about how he was gay. Is that honesty or just stirring the pot to see what happens? I suspected and told him I had no problem with that. I told him I respected his honesty and I wouldn't tell a soul unless he wanted me to. Oh, you're the someone he knew. You're the uncomfortable person, OP? I guess it's not a crazy statement. You don't see me going to Pride Parades. But then came Winter. I understand that relapses are common, but Sam relapsed real bad. I didn't know everything that was in the system, but he called me at 3am during a blizzard one night telling me he wanted to borrow one of my guns. He explained drunkenly, mind you, that he wanted to shoot one off before he was locked up. I got dressed, told him I'd be at his place soon. I didn't bring the gun.

28:54Well that's well advised. I'm sorry buddy, 3am just isn't the gun shooting time, you know? I met him outside in the alleyway with him drinking a rum out of a snapple bottle. I asked for a swig while letting him have a cigarette. Well the drunken Sam was focused on lighting up. I emptied his booze onto the sidewalk. Here, let me show you my gun, I said before he could protest. I pulled out a bottle of water from my long winter coat and gave it to him. I told him to hydrate himself. Tell me what was going on and then go to bed. No more alcohol. Yeah, shotgun that water bro. Then he explained everything. He did want my gun to off himself and I figured as much. His drinking was just a relapse. I figured that too. Hell I wanted to drink myself into oblivion as well. I told him after he was done venting to go inside and go to sleep. When he woke up he could text me but he should shower and talk to his mother.

29:55Apologize and own up to this. Man, that's a tough pill of swallow. This whole thing got really sad. We got a couple of derpy ones and then just a very somber one. Laudy. Sam's parole officer never did catch him for all this. Then about a month or three later after I abandoned AA, I stopped hearing from Sam. Sometime later I saw one of the other guys my age who we paled around with at the gas station that I went to for smokes and he told me everything. He said Sam was in AA because he was a drunk stoner who got sent to jail for trying to bribe a minor boy with weed so that boy would let Sam suck him off. Oh my god. Maybe you should have given him the gun. I'm just saying. All of a sudden it's a lot less sad. Sam dropped off the face of the earth again recently because he was in jail once more. This time for something very similar but with crack cocaine.

30:59It doesn't work. Why do you continue to do this? I feel as if I had never visited him. He might have gotten put away sooner and never been a sex pest to that minor even though there was no intercourse but that again if I never visited him he might have often self in some other form or went out driving and maybe hurt someone. So complicated scenario p there's no right way to slice that honestly. Hindside is 2020 you did what is objectively the right thing to do at that time and be there for somebody that you considered a friend, a quaintance. Hell even if I just did it for a stranger that's completely justifiable. You saved a life. It's not really your fault that that life wasn't worth saving. At least it's some people's opinions. Allegedly. God that was heavy dude. Okay let's try one more just one more and then I'm going to get out of here for the day for Reels Who Reels alright. Thief Beard the alcoholic klepto.

32:00Yeah sure why not. So Thief Beard was a guy that I knew in high school and this story is the story of his downfall and how we all fell out as friends. I mean high school friends really never gonna last if we want to be perfectly honest. In the moment you're like this is gonna last forever the high school lens and you're like where'd everybody go. The characters are flop R.O.P a tall thin emo person who Thief Beard had a crush on. I came to find that out a bit later. Bra my best friend at the time cool dude but barely had time for anything other than work. On his grind for Reels he reels. Violet another friend of mine who brought cards against humanity to every game night. Well you got all the experiences though you have to have all the experiences. Thief Beard is the creepy neckbeard who ended up being a violent thief. Oh violent why they all gotta be violent man.

33:01Let's go back to the funny stories like at the beginning can we do that. I think we could do that. You just rewind the video it's easy. I met Thief Beard in my high school days where I would probably be qualified as a neckbeard as well. Yeah there's birds of a feather in it. I think my neckbeardery is why it's so fascinating to me even after years. My friend group consisted of Thief Beard brought Violet me and a couple of other good friends who are unimportant to this story. Thief Beard would constantly hit on Violet to the point where it made even us other neckbeards uncomfortable. Will if I just act as lecturist as possible there's no mistaking my intent. Why is Violet hanging out too? She like legbeard status. I'm surprised she's not running off into the dark of the night. After high school Violet and I still stayed friends but Thief Beard and Bra fell out to touch for a bit with us. Cut to my 21st birthday and me and Violet are going out to drink for the first time.

34:06Yeah mistakes were made. We decided to invite Bra because we were trying to piece back together the good friend group. It's never the same Bra. It's never going to be the same dude. So Bra arrives on time and we're about to get drinks when Lone Behold Thief Beard walks in. We'll go up straight down next to us without even asking. We all get drinks. I don't remember what I didn't have his head except for Thief Beard. He had several Miller lights spudgered by party demon. They had to open like 12 or something just for him. Oh this is alcoholism. Please drink Miller light responsibly. Afterwards we all went back to my apartment to have a game night. Violet brought cards against humanity as she always did in high school and honestly we had a blast. That is until Thief Beard went to the minute market down the street and bought another case of Miller light. He ended up drinking all of them and getting absolutely smashed and we had to send him home

35:06early. He really does seem to have a problem and that's sad. I hope he gets over it. After the party me and Violet were cleaning up and that's when I couldn't find my laptop, Nintendo Switch, several chargers, my DVD player and like 3 or 4 of those LEGO sets that I used to collect. Somehow when we were all distracted, Thief Beard managed to sneak them out of my living room and into the closet where his backpack was and he stuffed them all in there. Holy shit. What a dirt bag dude. Now you go play kick door and see if he still has them. You have to do it like the next night. He hasn't gotten rid of him yet. Catch him in the act. After that night, Thief Beard would send all sorts of creepy messages to Violet and me insiguating that he wanted a threesome with both of us. I confronted him about the stolen items and he blubbered about not taking them. He just wanted to help me make space in my apartment.

36:14That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. I'm just helping you to move even if you don't know where you're going yet. Is he drunk right now? I'm pretty sure he's just perpetually drunk. Opie says, to be clear, I had not ever said that I wanted to make space and my apartment isn't messy so I got no idea where he got that from. He made it up. It's easy. I ended up telling his mom who he still lived with and she ended up paying for all of my devices because she said that Thief Beard threatened her because she asked him to pay me back. Oh, that situation is horrible. That's untenable. That poor mother. But really, you look at the long game of this kind of her fault. Like you're still paying for his mistakes even though he's old as shit now. You know what? You want to beat me up? Go ahead. Then I don't have to provide you room and board anymore. You get three hearts and a cot. You can fall by the good old taxpayers.

37:19That ending is really sad too, but I guess it's the closest that we're going to get today. It seems like you're taking a turn for the worst. But maybe that's poetic justice. Maybe I just louvered you in with the nice ones and I'm like, hey, let's say some horrible things. And so that is the tale of Thief Beard. The creep who stole from me and wandered the three way with me and my friend. This is the first post I've done so hopefully it's good. It was alright. A little short, but I don't know. Beefed out this video nicely. I hope you guys enjoyed it. If you did like, comment, subscribe, all of them, things. Links in the description to follow me on social media. There's also Patreon, YouTube, channel, membership, and thanks button. If you want to support me, monetarily, one dollar, totally science, trace amounts, something like that. Join us again tomorrow friends. Keep yourself safe out there. Wash your hands. And of course, always remember that you are loved. You are worthy. You definitely definitely deserve it. And I shall see you in the next one. So until then friends, bye bye.