Ozzie and Harriet - March 3rd Dilema

0:00The adventures of Ozzy and Harriet, presenting America's favorite young couple, Ozzy Nelson and Harriet Hill. And now let's see what's going on in the Nelson family. Well, it's Sunday morning as we visit the Nelson household of 1847, Rochester's Road. Ozzy, Harriet, David and Ricky are seated around the kitchen table. They're just about finished breakfast. Oh, those hot takes are great, Harriet. Thanks, there. Care for any more? I couldn't eat another mouthful. Sure wasn't swarming me or wasn't it, Park? That certainly was, David. Nice day off today, too. Yes, beautiful. Did you sleep well last night, Park? Yes, I did, David. It was a good meal. It's a nice day and I slept fine. You can bring out your report card now.

1:00David, I told you it wouldn't work. Here's your report card, Park. David said it would be far on pop, but I told him. Pop learns. English A, spelling A, geography A, say, this is all right. Rhythmatic A, history B. Well, that's a darn good report card, David. Park, what do you get, Ozzy? All A, except in history. Oh dear, and that's a subject you've been helping him with. We got a B in history, that's not so bad. Here's Ricky's card. He did pretty well to a daddy, except for this one right here. Well, on satisfactory and courtesy. How about having Ricky? I don't know, Pop. You must have done something to sturdy us there. Don't you know what it was? I don't know. Did you have any trouble with one of the other kids at any time? Well, not exactly. One day I tried to beat Marianne Mason to the pro-cruel. I tripped her and she fell down.

2:02And you do know why you got unsatisfactory and courtesy. Yes, sir. I guess I forgot to say excuse me. That isn't the point, Ricky. Do you think it was polite to trip a little girl? She would. She trust me lots of times. I know it dear. She can do it to you, but a man doesn't do things like that to a lady. I don't think that's fair. I need to do it, Ricky, but that's the way they've got it set up. Did the teacher say why you only got to be in history, David? Yeah, she said it's because I can't remember dates. Can't remember dates. No. Golly, how do they expect me to remember a lot of things that happened before I was born? Just like your father. He can't remember a lot of things that happened before you were born either. Why do we have to remember dates anyway? Oh, it's good mental training. If you grow up, you'll need a good memory for dates. Is that a good thing to have? After you're married, it is.

3:02You see, David, Daddy wishes he'd learned to remember dates. Okay, just because I happened to overlook our tenth anniversary. Oh, wouldn't it been so bad if it hadn't been the tenth one you'd overlook? Golly should have reminded me like you do for the other occasions. Can I get more than maybe something important yesterday? Go ahead. Anything more, Oggi? No, thanks, not a thing. Ricky, stop pouring your milk in David's glass. Was it anything important, David? No, it's not. It's your birthday. Oh, hi, Tharnie. Good morning, everybody. Hello, Tharnie. Have a cup of coffee. No, thanks, Harry. I just finished a tremendous breakfast. How's that? I have a glass of milk. Thanks, Ricky, but I think you better finish it, isn't it? I just dropped in a moment to see you about something odd, huh? Well, if you want to talk, maybe you'd better go into the living room. I want to clear away the dishes. Well, I can wait a few moments if you want to help. Tharnie, I wouldn't think of keeping you waiting. Come on, let's go in here. Sit down. Relax a while, Tharnie. Thanks, I was. What's new? Well, for one thing, tomorrow's our wedding anniversary.

4:03Oh, congratulations. How'd you remember? Well, I must admit that my wife helped out with a few pretty broad hints. How'd that always help? Unfortunately, I seem to make especially a forgetting anniversary in birthdays. What makes it worse is that Harry always remembers him. Yeah, that's an annoying thing about women. They never forget their wedding anniversary. And a man invariably does forget. I wonder why that is. Oh, it's simple, huh? As a fisherman, do you remember the day you caught your first big fish? Why? Yes. I think the fish remembers? I see what you mean, Tharnie. Are you getting Katherine to give? Yeah, that's what I came to see you about. Oh, well, I'm flat right now, but maybe I can get Harry to give me an advance in my alarm. No, no, thanks, I'll do that. This is that I've got the gift right here in my pocket. My problem is to keep Katherine from fighting until tomorrow. Oh, I see. You know how curious women are. Especially Katherine. If it's anywhere in the house, you'll find it. Why don't you keep it right in your pocket?

5:03Are you kidding? I gotta go to sleep, sometimes. You know why it must be pretty thorough. She can put a bloodhound to shame. Last year, I took her birthday present up to the attic, pushed two trunks aside, opened a closet that had been locked for two years, climbed up on a pile of newspapers, and hid the gift in the far corner of the closet under a pile of old books. Sounds pretty safe to me. I locked the closet door, pushed the trunks up against the door, locked the attic door, came downstairs, washed my hands, walked into the living room, and Katherine had her hat and coat on, and was on her way downtown to exchange the gift. I thought you'd go too far, Thornie. Would you keep this gift here until tomorrow? Sure, I'd be glad to. Thanks, Oz. I gotta go now, see you later. Oh, where, Oz? Yeah. Don't tell Harriet about this, will you? I want to keep it from Katherine. Oh, I won't if you don't want me to, Thornie. But she wouldn't tell. If we don't tell her anyway, will you? Well, okay. But believe me, Harriet isn't like other women.

6:04She just doesn't talk about things like this. Oh, she doesn't. No. Do you have never patched on those blue stripes shorts you're wearing that your mother sent you for Christmas? Well, yes, I do. Don't tell Harriet about the break. Hi, Pop. Oh, hello, David. Say, Pop, come in, Ricky, get some ice cream after Sunday's school. Hey, I'll bet that's my atomic ring. Is this fact he's just coming to mail for? What's that? Hey, hey, David, put that down. That doesn't belong to you. I didn't even know you sent for one. Sent for...no, no. Here, give me the package, David. That's a gift for somebody. Oh, who's this for, Pop? I promised I wouldn't tell it to secret. Golly, I wonder when my atomic ring is going to get you. Hmm. I wonder what this is, Thornie got for his wife. Sounds small and expensive. Hey, Pop, what you got there, Pop? Oh, it's a present. Gee, where are you, Pop? No, no, it's not for you, Ricky.

7:05Isn't my birthday next week? No, no, Ricky, your birthday isn't until May. I never get birthday. You get as many birthdays as anybody else. How many birthdays have I had, Pop? Six. How many saved it has? Ten. Three? Ricky, when your 10 years old, like David, is now, you have had 10 birthdays too. How many will David have had by then? Let's drop it, Ricky. It was a present, Pop, Pop. Oh, it's a big secret. It's going to be a surprise. Now, aren't you going to be late for Sunday school? Oh, no, I got lots of time. What are you doing with a present, Pop? I'm putting it right up here on the mantle. Why are you putting it up there, Pop? Just so a certain little boy doesn't go fooling around with it. What little boy? A little boy about six and a half years old with blonde hair and a butch hair cut. Is his first name, Ricky? I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah, I guess you better put it up there on the mantle. Well, I'd agree with me. I'll be upstairs if anybody wants me, Ricky.

8:05I don't know why people always think they have to put stuff but I can't reach it. That's right, I can't reach it. Of course, Pop doesn't want me to reach it. But if I wanted to reach it, I could just pull that chair over. Sounds like something small. Ricky, what are you doing on that chair? What's that you've got in your hand? It's a present. What was it for? Pop wouldn't tell me. He doesn't have a secret. Secret? Yeah. He's saving it for a surprise. Well, then I'm sure Daddy doesn't want you fooling around with it. I guess not. Then don't you think you ought to put it back? Don't you ought to think you ought to climb off the chair? And put the chair back where it was? You better mom.

9:05Sounds small, expensive. Wonderful tennis. Why don't you look? Oh no, that wouldn't be fair. Why wouldn't it? Well, it just wouldn't that's all. I bet if you left a package and all he was here, he'd take. He would not. He would too. Go ahead, take a look. No, I shouldn't. Or go on. Just one peek? No. Go ahead. That's what you're saying. No, you're saying Charlie's about it. Wonder what it can be. Golly, the string is loose. Looks like it'll come right off. Golly, came off. Poor wrapping. I guess I'd better re-wraff it. Here's a card. To my loving wife in memory of March the 3rd.

10:05Say, Harry, where's my tie? Where is it? Oh, you shouldn't have done it there. I'm sorry, I looked at the card but I just couldn't read this. But Harry, that's supposed to be a thing. I never dreamed you remember March the 3rd. Oh, yes, March the 3rd. Here, I was teasing you about not remembering anniversary and birthdays and things. All the while you had the surprise for March the 3rd. March the 3rd. But drama, I think. March the 3rd. I mean, you put it I'd forget. Oh, right, I was sure you'd forget. Oh, darling, how could I forget the anniversary of the day? I mean, the date, the, how could I forget March 3rd? Well, as long as I know you've got this, is it all right if I open it? So, Harry and I think I'd better tell you. The fact is... Oh, he is beautiful. What is it? I mean... Oh, this pin is lovely, dear.

11:06Leave it to you to do something like this. Yeah, leave it to me. You know, the dearest, we just most thoughtful. And Harriet. Yes? Harriet, there's... There's something I want to say to you. Yes, there's. Happy March 3rd. March the 3rd. Can't be our anniversary. That's a October. Can't be the day we became engaged. That was in the summer. Harriet's birthday is in July. My birthday is March 20th. Or is that Ricky's? No, that's not. What happened? March the 3rd. Oh, hello, March the 3rd. Hello. You have to excuse me if I don't stop. I'm in quite a hurry. Would you mind if I walk with you, Mr. Nelson? I've got nothing to do. I'm not at all, but this is as far as I go. I'm just stopping in here to see Mr. Thornberry. Oh, oh, he isn't home, Mr. Nelson. I just thought I'm leaving with his golf club. Oh, for Pete's sake. Anything wrong with you, Nelson? Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm in a lot of trouble. You're in trouble.

12:06Oh, how fascinating. What's wrong, Mr. Nelson? Well, Mr. Thornberry left his wife. Mr. Thornberry left his wife. No, no, wait a minute. No, no, no. No, no, no. Finish. Please, Mr. Thornberry left his wife, Santa Versailles, present at my house. Mr. Nelson found it, read the card, to my wife and memory of March the 3rd, and she think it's for me. Oh, my goodness. Ami Lou, how much does a gold pen about this big cost? How big? This big. $700. Holy crap. What are you going to do, Mr. Nelson? I don't know. All right, it was so crazy about the pen. I didn't have the heart to tell her. I didn't even remember March the 3rd. What's March 3rd? I don't know that either. Wrecking my brain trying to remember. You're anniversary. October the 8th, I checked. Harriet, first day. July 18th, I checked that too. Goodness, Mr. Nelson, March 3rd, must be something important in your life. I've been thinking all morning. First day I met her, January 9th. The first time I kissed her,

13:077 o'clock, January 10th. The 10th? Yeah, one year later. Why don't you just tell her the truth, Mr. Nelson, that it's Mr. Thorn very gift, and you don't remember what March 3rd stands for. Oh, I don't know. You'll get her another one. Tell her it was a horrible mistake. Oh, I don't know. You are everything. She'll understand. She'll forgive you. When a woman loves a man, she has a great capacity for forgiveness. So I'm sure Mrs. Nelson will forgive you. I suppose so. And after you told her everything, you look into her eyes. Look at the expression on her face. Nothing is so beautiful as the expression in a woman dies when she forgives her husband for being a adult. I could be so sure about this as you are. Oh, you can't be, Mr. Nelson. People should be absolutely honest with each other. Well, yes, I know. And it worked. One of my girlfriend had a boyfriend, and they had a similar misunderstanding about a Valentine.

14:08And I gave her the same advice I'm giving you. And did it work? Did it work? Geepers, you ought to see my new boyfriend. Well, Amy, that just proves your advice is not too good. But it just goes to show what the power of suggestion can do. The power of suggestion. Hey, maybe that's an idea. It is? Yeah. Maybe I could go to Harry and sort of suggest that the pin doesn't look good on her. Or talk about a better one I'd seen someplace. Of course. And get it back from her and get her another. Oh, that tongue simply super. Thanks, Amy. Well, I'll go in and try it out right now. Good luck, Mr. Nelson. I hope it all turns out just hyper. Hyper, what's that? Oh, hyper's even more doofers than super. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's a good one. How's he? What is it? Is something wrong? No. I was just looking at your pin there, the new gold pin.

15:10Oh, I can't take my eyes off of it either. It's so becoming. Oh, do you really think so? Well, yet don't you? Frankly, dear. I know that I see it on you. I really don't think it's your type at all. Why not? Well, it clashes. With what? I don't know it just clashes in general. I think it's beautiful. I wish you'd let me exchange it for something more different. Well, Abby, I love this. Tim, why should you exchange it? Well, I thought maybe it's the wrong size or something? Wrong size. Or the wrong color. I read in a book once where all the colors you wear should blend. And if you're wearing any jewelry like a gold pin, for instance, it ought to match everything else. Well, darling, a gold pin matches anything. Then I read in another book that colors should be in contrast. You look at the most beautiful pin I've ever seen and beside you, picked it out all by yourself. So I wouldn't exchange it for the world. That's very sweet of you, dear.

16:12Harriet, you know what? I was just thinking about Match the Third. Will you ever forget Match the Third? No, dear. Yes, sir. Good old, Match the Third. I had it. I had it. Oh, Match the Third. What that day meant to us, Nandir? I had it. Match the Third. What do you think of when you think of Match the Third, Harriet? Well, I think of how wonderful and glorious it was. What do you think of Ozzy? Same. Harriet, let's reminisce about Match the Third. Oh, that's really us. No, no, it'll be great fun. You tell me what you did that day, and then I'll tell you what I did. You start. Well, right after I got up, I heard the phone ringing. Yes. I answered the phone and it was you. Yes. Now it's your turn, Oga.

17:12I just remembered. I've got to go see Thorneberry. It's very important. I'll be back soon, Harriet. Hello, Thorne. What are you doing here in front of my house? Waiting for you. I've been waiting for hours. I was out playing golf, and then the boys and I got to chewing the fat in the locker room. I didn't know you were waiting for me. Well, I don't mind you're playing golf, but hanging around the locker room when I'm sitting here waiting for you, never knowing when you're going to get home. I'm sorry, dear. I mean, I... Say, Oz, what's wrong? Well, about that gold pen you left at my house? Oh, I don't need it until tomorrow. Oh, that's why I left at your house, because I knew it would be safe and nobody would be fooling with it. Wait a minute. How did you know it was a gold pen? Thorne, do you want to sell out pen? Oh, gosh, Oz, I don't think it looked good on you.

18:12No. Thorne, listen, I'm in a lot of trouble. Harriet had to open the package and she thinks it's a present for me. Well, the piece saying. If only instead of writing to my loving wife you to put down a name, I wouldn't be in this jam. I'm sorry, Oz, I've only got one wife and I didn't think there'd be any confusion. Things that marched the third to some sort of anniversary between Harriet and me and she just assumed that I'd bought the gift for her as a remembrance. Say, that's quite a mix up. Worst part is she's crazy about the pen and I haven't the heart to take it away from her. Of course not. I haven't the tax either. Well, you know, this doesn't seem too serious. I knew you'd take it this way, Thorne. You're solid. Oh, no, wait. Would your mind getting your wife another pen and letting me buy this one from you? I think that can be a wrap. I'll pay you for it anything. I'll write you out and check this very minute. It'll be pretty steep, but it serves me right. Get this checkbook out. Yeah. Not giving me the bad news, Thorne. Rations of Oz, this may be quite a shock.

19:12It's okay, I deserve it. How much was the pen? I have a better idea, Oz. Why don't you just take a little out of your allowance every week and pay me back on the installer's plan? In that way, Harriet won't have to know about it. Thorne, you're a swell guy. It's a pleasure. How much did it cost? $1.85. It is. It is a silly, but you know what's down like you said $1.85. That's what I did there. And I thought I'd have to pay for it out of my allowance for months and months. $1.85. I can pay for that in two weeks. And Harriet thinks, say, Thorne, that's a pretty cheap gift to give your wife. Will you stop pulling me up and down like a yo-yo? She thinks, Thorne, Harriet, means a lot more to me than that.

20:12But, oh, is this pen just a gang? On our first anniversary, we were broke. So I blew a couple of bucks on a little piece of costume, Jory. And every year since then, I've gotten Catherine some little novelty or gadget for sentimental memories. Oh, then that's not all you're giving it. The pen is part of the tradition and part of the joke is hiding it from. Oh. Then, you feel much better now, don't you? No, I feel much worse. For what? Well, don't you see Harriet thinks the pen is very valuable. And what's worse, I can't for the life of me. You remember what it is we celebrate, and watch the third. There's only one way to handle this. I've got to work it out coolly, calmly, and logically. I'll be seeing you, Thorne. Hey, where are you going? Where do you think I'm going right home and straighten the whole thing out? Well, that way you're not. Why not? Because your house is this way. Oh, yes, that's right. I'm going to throw a mix of it up at this point. I don't know my own name. It's Thorne. Well, it's so long, Ozz. Thorne, what's that? Oh, there you are, here. Yeah, here I am. You've been popping in and out of the household.

21:13I haven't been able to find you. Here. What's this? Reducard. To my darling husband, in memory of March the 3rd. Oh, Harriet, you shouldn't have done it. Open it. Oh, it's a box of cigars. At the same time, I gave you for Christmas. Oh, Harriet, you shouldn't have done it. Well, those cigars went so fast, I thought it'd be a nice present to give you again. Well, they went fast because I was giving the mailman one every morning. Well, you can continue giving him some leaves. No, I can't. He had himself transferred. First, darling, this is nothing to the gift he gave me. That beautiful gold pin. Harriet, that beautiful pin. Where is it? Well, I wouldn't work until I had it insured. Oh. Before I have it insured, I have to have it appraised. Before you have it appraised, I'd better have myself insured.

22:16What do you mean? Harriet. I want to talk to you about the cost of that pin. Oh, Aussie, the price isn't important. It's a settlement account. What difference does it make when you spend $500 for orders? $300 or $200. What about $1.85? What about $1.85? That's what the pin cost. Oh, Aussie. $1.85 is a big laugh. Good, I could use a big laugh, right? Aussie, do you mean that pin actually cost only $1.85? Yeah. But don't forget the sentiments behind it there. Well, it still costs more than that box of cigars. Oh. Aussie, as long as you've been so honest with me, I have a confession to make to you, too. But what's that? You promise you won't get angry? Well, no, of course not. Well, then tell me. Why are we celebrating March 3rd?

23:17You mean you don't know? I've been trying to remember all day. Just for that, you have to smoke half of these cigars. No, what does March 3rd stand for, dear? How it from now on always remember this March 3rd is the anniversary of one of the silliest things that ever happened to you. Oh, no, dear. Your birthday is March 20th.