Message #605 - Finding Your Purpose

0:00The purpose of life is not to be happy, but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you lived at all. You've reached talking with Dr. Terry, 180 seconds to a better you, message number 605, and I'm Dr. Terry Wordsbacher. The purpose of life is not to be happy, but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you lived at all. And that's by Leo Rostin. I was on Dr. Gilbert Seminar the other night and someone asked me how I would help a young person find their purpose. I think this applies to anyone, not just children or young adults. First though, I think it's important for them to understand that there's a significant difference between purpose and identity. I'm sure I've talked about this before too, but it's always worth reiterating. In this age of rapid everything, people want concrete things to occupy their time and thoughts, if they even have time for thoughts. They don't want to deal with the abstract and it may not be the exact wording, but purposes much more abstract than identity.

1:01Humans are great label makers and we love labels. So it's not surprising that we use them all the time. Hey, do you know Joe? No, who is he? You know, he's the auto mechanic at X, Y and Z, auto shop? Oh yeah, why didn't you just say so? He's a great guy. I was a doctor. That was my identity. I was also a naval officer, another identity. When I was at department head, I had a third identity. People say they wear different hats, but they're really just talking about identities. Who really cares what your identity is? No one except you. What matters and what people do and should care about is your purpose. So how do you find your purpose? If you don't know what it is, you go on an archeological dig. Your tools are what and why and the clues you're looking for are any evidence of excitement, body language, tone of voice, eyes shining, posture straightening. You'll know it when you see it. As these questions and more, it's similar to using the five Ys that we've had two messages about. What do you like to do? Why? What is it that excites you? Why?

2:02What did you dream about when you were younger? What did or do you like to do in your free time? Why? How did it make you feel? How does it make you feel now? What was your favorite activity? What's your favorite activity now? What made you stray away from those activities? Would you like to return to them now? Why or why not? If you had no responsibility, what would you like to spend time doing? Why? If you were told you could only do one thing for the rest of your life, what would that be? Why? Keep on digging. Watch the person's responses, give them time to think or have them come back to the conversation a week later. Their mind will process things that they didn't even realize and those other things will come to the surface. And they make it brave enough to either acknowledge to themselves or to you something they love but think you'd find foolish. Many people stop pursuing their dreams because other people make fun of them or tell them that they shouldn't even go there. Do you know what your purpose is? Right now your purpose is to have a diamond day.