How to Transform Your Energy, Emotions, & Environment to Transform Your Results - With Jason Stacy

0:00You are now listening to The Model Health Show with Sean Stevenson. For more, visit TheModelHealthShow.com Most people love the idea of having more energy. But what if I told you that most people don't lack energy? They leak their energy. Trying to accumulate more energy poured into this vessel is like pouring water into a cracked glass. We're leaking our energy and we often don't realize it. These are just one of the powerful insights that I learned from our special guest today. I'm telling you, he knows a thing or 10,000 about energy. This is one of these three science-backed ease that he's utilized to create incredible performance and results. For his athletes, for all of the people that he's coached. And I'm telling you right now, this episode is how we're full.

1:00It's not every day that you get to learn from somebody who's an intricate part of the world's number one, anything. But our special guest is a coach. He's an intricate part of the team and the success for the number one women's tennis athlete in the world. His insights are invaluable because things like this don't just happen by chance. And if you understand the journey to get there, it's going to blow you away, but also remind you of how capable you are to rise to the occasion, to be able to deal with the pressures of life and to succeed regardless of the circumstance. And so without further ado, let's dive right in with our special guest in topic of the day. Jason Stacey is a world-class high-performance coach, international speaker, and author of the pressure code,

2:00how elite performers align their energy, emotions, and environment. Best known for his seven-plus-year coaching position with the world's number one ranked tennis pro, Arena, Ceballinka. He's also spent three decades coaching Olympic, World and National Champions across tennis, combat sports, dance, swimming, gymnastics, and more. His framework is a system forged not in theory, but in a life that went from homelessness at 13 to court side at Grand Slam's. His conviction is simple. You don't rise to the occasion, you fall to the level of your code. Let's dive into this conversation with the incredible Jason Stacey. All right, so I want to ask you, right out of the gate, working with superstar athletes like Arena, you are seeing a situation where they're exposed to the most high-pressure moments that you can imagine in sports. And you say something really powerful that the pressure is already there. You don't need to add more. What do you mean by that?

3:06Well, that's it. I mean, it's there. People are, I feel like, because it's a big moment, right? Let's see, walk into a final of the whole world's watching. You know, like everything's on the line. And often, behind the scenes, we all have these moments where everything's on the line, right? But in our situation where some of these athletes, you know, it's not just that everything's on the line. It's a huge moment for you, but the entire world is watching you. So if you have a bad moment, a bad day, you slip a little bit, like, it's not like, that's what we, okay, we made a mistake. We failed. No one's going to know. Like, we don't want to show it. It doesn't get known. But in that situation, everyone's going to see it. And so look, all of those things are already there. You also have that all your own voice in your head that's always there trying to add to, you know, add some layers to that, right? Some, some intensity or some, you know, make it worse and make it scarier than it is. You know, you brainstorm and protect yourself all the time. So that's already there. Like, you didn't build that. That's just a human thing, right? Like, it's just there. It's nature. So why am I spending any more of my time? I have a minimum amount of resources right now to do what I need to do right now. I'm about to face something big, good, bad or otherwise, right? And so I need all the resources I have to be able to manage through that.

4:12So why am I wasting any of the precious resources that I do have available that are in my control on adding more crap on top of crap? Like a better way of putting it. And at the other side of that coin is that the fact of the matter is is who you are and how you perform as nothing to do at that moment. I know we like to talk about those big moments and they, you know, see the highlight reals when you talk about it because it's exciting. And it's a real thing. But at the end of the day, you know, what matters is all the things you did leading up to that moment. That's what's going to show up. That's what you can rely on. That's what you can, that's how you know you can perform your best, whatever that is for you right now. And you can sustain that performance because you've already done all the work leading up to that moment. The moments are just like, hey, here's a, here's a quick, you know, screenshot of where you are right now and see what else we need to keep working on. You know what I mean? It's really that simple. You know, and so it allows you to separate yourself from that pressure and see it for what it is and see it as like this isn't like a separate thing that people want to talk about right. They won't want to make this like this, this thing out of it where it's not a thing separate from it is the thing right.

5:15The pressure is the thing. It's like, like I said earlier, we were just chatting off air like it was the obstacle is the way. That's, that's seems been around for a long time and that's, that is the fact. There is nothing in this world that functions that doesn't require stress and pressure to function well right. And so that's just a part of the whole process you you chose to be here right right now. Sean, you chose to do this right. So if you have rough days or you know, type research study meet different people have to be able to meet the person where they're not have some great interviews, be able to like share this stuff to the world so people connect with it and they want more and they, you know, improve their lives. It could be really hard sometimes I'm sure very demanding but like at the end of the you chose to do this. It's your choice. So just accept it and like let's just go through it. Come on. Come on. Yeah. Well, this really starts to make sense even more why you strategize to create normalcy amidst the chaos right because again the chaos is just like it's a part of the job.

6:15It's just like and it also it's your perspective on seeing it as chaos. But obviously, you know, things can be really kind of highlighted things can seem really big things. There's all these moving pieces. But what you strive to do with arena for example is to create normalcy in those moments right. And so I would believe that you're probably monitoring and looking for that like what's going on with the team with everybody else is anybody else falling kind of victim. Or being influenced by the chaos. How can I step in and create normalcy? Let's talk about how you do that. I mean, you know, very few people that I've met have noticed that that's a big part of what I do. I walk in that room and I'm just going to kind of get a sense of who's what what's where. And and for whatever we're doing now or what we're back to face, what is the state that we need to be in? Like where do we all need to be? How do I need to present myself? The person that has to perform maybe in this case it's arena. Is she in the right place that she needs to be? You know, a big part of my role, I guess you might say is that, you know, making sure we have the right people doing the right things at the right time.

7:21Right. And so to be able to do this, there's two parts. One is what do I do in the moment to help kind of create that environment? You know, but for me to be able to do that, there's two things that need to exist. One, I first need to be really aware of who I am. Like what I stand for, how I process my own emotions, how I present those emotions, how I walk into a room. So I need to be very clear about who I am and what I stand for. Right. What do I allow? What boundaries do I hold strong? What things I can be a little more flexible with? So once I really, really very clear about who I am, I can walk into a room. It doesn't matter what's in the other side of the door. I'll be ready to meet, you know, meet whatever it is. Where is that? So once I first have that, the next thing is to help look at that whole environment, like the interaction of the people with that same sort of lens of like, okay, where do we need to be right now for what we're about to face? Right. Is this room a little bit overexcited? Is it a bit distracted? Is there too much noise? Is there attention in the wrong, you know, the folks on the wrong targets and the wrong topics?

8:25You know, whatever it might be. And even down to the layer of understanding that, how is it I put this? People are already putting out how they're feeling without saying a word. Yeah. Right. Even if, I mean, I can have the right, all the right body language, right? I know all the techniques. I know how to stand over how to hold myself. But if inside I am so anxious or I'm fearful or I'm, you know, overroused, whatever it might be, the room's going to smell it. You know what I mean? They're going to know it. Even if they're not aware of it. And because most people walk around the probably not fully aware, like, this is pretty obvious, but their body, their physiology, their brain, their nervous system, it's going to start to be like, I don't know what it is, but something right. Right. And if I'm in a room where I need to be stable, like you say with arena, but like I call it more like, have like a really stable, consistent, steady, you know, environment. Right. The normal, see like you said. Then if someone walks in the room and they're a little bit, they're there for their own reasons, their intentions aren't true. You know, they're not matching what we need to be.

9:28Even if she's never thought about it, she's going to start to feel something different. Her body's going to pick up on it. And so I have to make sure who's close who has access, you know, making sure everyone's okay. And then what the other part about having a good team is that my responsibility is also to make sure they do the same to me. Because I'm human. I mess up all the time. It happens all the time. You know, I mean, yeah, I have more experience, I'm more awareness, all these, I'm really good at this things. I still have moments where like, there's a match and arena. I'm like, I'm like, so overly hyped up for the moment. And I'm just like, put this hand on my leg. I'm like, oh, and just like a little like, oh, kind of got me back to, back to center for a second. You know what I mean? Well, I'm getting really mad about something. And I don't need to be. And it's like, oh, oops, thanks. You just get a little slap in the face for a second. I'm back. So yeah, there's a lot of layers there, but I think that that self-awareness is huge. That's the first thing because that's what you know, not to keep rambling on, but this is an important part. You know, here's always talking about like that star athlete or the leader or the, you know, the parent, the person that's, you know, from a, you know, hierarchy sort of standpoint, the person in charge of the leader. But the way I look at it is every single person that's in that proximity and in that environment right now,

10:32they're all leaders in a sense. They choose what they bring to that room. And what they bring to that room will influence the outcome of what happens next. That makes sense. So if everyone understands, I don't care what your role is right now. If you're new with this, if you've been doing it forever, if you're the boss, or you're the new guy, or the intern, how you show up in a room is going to have an influence on yourself, but also the others around you. And when you understand that and you live that and you just very, very hyper aware of that, and you make sure all your actions are aligned with who you want to be, then like you're going to be seen at the people going to just feel it. They'll know it. Yeah. So yeah. Man, this is so incredible. Thank you for sharing that because also, you know, it's really helping and creating a team that humanizes each other. 100%. Because we're human, you know, we're flawed. We're going to make mistakes. And you know, for other people to be able to have your back and hold you accountable and to support you, even though you might be the guy who's the one who's bringing it to it most often, right? Of course. And you know, that is so incredible. So like that just blows me away.

11:33And also when you talked about people can smell it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is a literal thing like your, your pheromones, like what you are producing, you're literally off-gassing. 100%. What's going on internally? Like that's a, that's a real thing. Not to mention humans and again, like we see this in other parts of the animal kingdom. And we're just like, all that's pretty cool that those fish do that thing. But our nervousness of sync up with each other, especially when you have rapport with another person. Yes, if there's a connection. You immediately start to sync up. Our brain waves start to sync up just being in conversation. This is what we do. This is all like this unseen stuff that we now have modern technology to prove. Like you're saying the real thing. We don't need to know about that. Of course. We do know that we can smell it when the energy is off. That's right. Or somebody like you just gave all those examples. And it's your job as a team to make sure that that stuff is balanced out. 100% and again, you hit it around the nail.

12:35Like it's, it's funny when I said the smell, but I saw your eyes light up. Like, oh, yeah. Yeah, no, it's, it's just that again, understand that's a part of it. Being aware of it and just being very vigilant and almost aggressive about how well you manage that environment. And how you present yourself. So this is something for all of us to really take away from this because it's super easy to fall into it. Because we all have challenges. We all have hardships. But to see the moment as it is and not make it worse than it is. You know, and do our best to be more accurate. We tend to make things far more stressful than they have to be. And far worse, especially. We don't tend to do that with the good stuff. Like we make it way better. You know, like that's a, that's a rarity. But, you know, thank you for sharing this and just giving us some insight into it. Now, with that being said, I'm curious about some of these. Pre-match routines that you guys have. Because obviously there's a super famous one out there with her drawing on your head.

13:36Oh, yes. So what's up with the, how did that come about? I mean, it's funny. Is that most of these, I don't know, become weird and kind of funny and silly, whatever, you know, things that we do. It's not one time. I'm sorry. There was one time where it was planned. But the only, it was planned in advance, about 30 seconds in advance. All these things have just, it just kind of naturally happens. Like we don't say go, okay, what's the next kind of cool or funky weird thing we could do or the next little, you know, routine we should add. It's just we're doing our thing. Something will happen and it'll be like, should we, that's the thing. You know, we've got to keep doing that. That worked last time. You know, just like it could be some silly. But the thing is that that first time that happened was I had a friend. We're in Australia. One of the balls signed for the kid, you know, his kid. I'm like, I sure like a rink. Can you sign this? She goes like, so she just jokingly signed my head. And then it's on the ball like, yeah, whatever, I don't care. Like whatever, you know, it doesn't bother me at all. I thought it was funny. And then she went and won the match everything well. And she's like, okay, there's the routine now. Every day she's like, okay, come here. So on match days, it was a autograph.

14:37On not non-match day, she was like drawing different pictures. And one day they play tic-tac-toe or knots and crosses, whatever you call it. On my head and her and one of the other guys. And I was like, yeah, whatever. If it works, it works. I don't care. So yes, we have these different things. And look, if I want to shift gears a little bit, go back to kind of like, you know, the deeper layer of these things is that you see us having a lot of fun. We play a lot of games. You see me doing like visual sort of training stuff. So cognitive conditioning type things. Little mini competitions, the games, the fun, the drawing on my head, the tattoo, I had the tiger tattoo on my head that, you know, those two different years. And, you know, again, that just comes out naturally. But a lot of the times, I will add in those layers of like, let's watch this video. We need to play a game right now. Or no, we need to do some sort of thing where she's having to focus on a specific target. Because it goes back to that whole thing about what you're about to face now, you need to be in a certain state. So if you understand what state you need to be in to perform your best for whatever you're about to face,

15:37then my big thing is you use your body to train, it's lead your mind. Right? And so in those key moments, I cannot say things to her like, hey, you're looking a little bit overroused right now. Or your intensity is a little bit too high or you can't say anything like this, right? Any version of that and you're done. Like, you know, she's done, she's going to be spiraling like, what's, why, what are you thinking, what's happening, what's wrong, I'm like, oh, how do I fix it? And like, it's done. So you have to just, without words, get them to move their body in a way to get them in the right state. So part of that is these little routines of just like, you know, we're about, literally happen, those things happen right before we walk on the court for a match. Right? And it's like, I like it because she's enjoying it. And she's just in that moment, having fun, I think it's the weirdest, funniest thing ever. She's not thinking about anything else. And like, right before we perform, sometimes you have a moment just to like, just be. Because there's never, how, I mean, seriously, how often in your day and in everyone's day that their attention is not being pulled in a hundred different directions. Everything around us is forcing us to give our attention to it.

16:38You know, you have all these voices going on and all those noise in your head. And you're about to face something difficult, whatever that is for you. You got to find a way to just pause, give them a little bit of space between you and the thing. Just have a moment to reset. So then you can walk through that door and you're ready to go. Yeah. So it's a, so yes, it's fun and goofy. It just happens, actually, but there's also some tension by and everything that we do. Amazing. It's amazing. You know, you just mentioned state, you know, and this is such an important part of being human and us being conscious of our ability to change our state. And the fact that you mentioned using our body to lead and change our mind, you mentioned this in the book as well. You know, we tend to act like our bodies are just taxis for our brain. It's a random thing, right? It's like this is just moving stuff around like we're crang. It's crazy. From the 10XMU news channels, right? But in reality, this is all one entity and it's all deeply interconnected. And using that, the channel of utilizing our body to change our state is so powerful.

17:40And this is something that, you know, so many of the skills that you were able to bring to the table were just, I couldn't pinpoint in studying you like there's this one. Of course, like catalyst mold, like it is a true life, just this like really complex patchwork quilt of things, that you're able to cover these athletes and to elevate them and is such a unique path in getting there. And you really understanding and evolving to this place of understanding state and state change, I could see that kind of come online very early on in your experiences. And so let's talk about that a little bit. Let's go back, let's hop in the DeLorean and go back because, you know, your story and your evolution as a human being as a man is truly remarkable.

18:40And you know, another thing that I saw in researching you is like, you hourly saying like, I wouldn't wish where I came from on anybody, but I am grateful for what it's taught me. That's a given. And I'm grateful that you're here to share the story about it. So let's go back to age 11 and your father's in the Air Force. And you have a pretty normal life. You know, you got your two younger siblings, you got your mom and your dad, and then some things changed. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's, father was in a motorcycle accident. He survived the accident. But I remember he was at home, I don't know how long it was after. But he's a big old cast on basically the most of his whole body. And it happened to blood clot and passed away. And you were there. Yeah, I was there. It was my job. He was, I mean, not to get too detailed, but he was sitting on the toilet and I go in and I have consciousness. My mom was in the other room, you know, in the bedroom. He was in there, you know, a master bathroom thing. You know, calling the paramedics and you know, doing whatever. And she's yelling at me like, they tell it, keep him awake.

19:41Keep him awake. So that was my job is to keep him awake basically. And you know, it didn't work. So yeah. So anyway, that was pretty rough. And I remember, I just remember seeing my mom and there was two paramedics. And I was never told that he passed there, but like you could see like the, the moment just sort of froze. Like the people stopped. There was a lot of action. They decided, look at me. Look at each other. Look at me again. And they just sort of like put him on a thing and you know, left. So we went to school that day with my brothers. I got them to school. And then yeah, they just brought us home early from school and told us news. So yeah. But that was one of the first, I remember that moment. It was really weird, you know, when they told us. That like, I don't know, just something changed into me. And I realized, okay. Sorry. It's okay. That, you know, I had to sort of put what I was feeling aside. You know, it may not be like, okay, I got work to do now.

20:43So yeah, it was tough. It was tough. I still sometimes get emotional about it. Sorry. Sorry. I'm so weird. Sometimes I can talk about it fine. Sometimes it just hits me. I don't know. So it's crazy. So anyway, that was a very big moment for sure in my life. It just helped me realize, okay, you know, I did what most people do, I suppose. And what I've done for many, many years is that I got really, really aggressive and making sure I helped everyone around me. You know what I mean? And that was like, okay, that's what my job was going to be. And you know, my mom, I really messed her up. Obviously, it's pretty rough. There's a bunch of, you know, stuff in between, but probably about two years after that, roughly, I was like on my own homeless, just living on the streets, staying at different places with different ways that we got to go back. We got to go back because how does that, how does that happen? How do you end up, again, your father passed from what I gathered, like, you know, he was basically taking care of everything. Yeah, your mom had to try to find a way to survive with the kids, suddenly.

21:43Yeah, yeah. She was a housewife, you know, housewife, you know, stay home mom. Yeah. You know, she ended up getting injured. So she, once you didn't even have had more for a long time, you know, obviously, you need to. And anyway, so I don't know, we had, I remember I just, we got woken up in the middle of the night. One night we flew, we were in Arizona, flew to Washington where her sister was. And just left everything, just hopped in the car, got her a plane boomer there. And, you know, she did her best. And again, it's really weird. People asked me like, how, what happened in between that? And it wasn't like there was this one moment in this, you know, it was just kind of this gradually, you know, I was trying to find work out a newspaper route. A couple of those I was doing just trying to make money. There was this family was, you know, that I don't know how, or where they came from. But it was, you know, somehow I was like, I'll go and stay with them and help babysit these three kids. And these people end up being like drug dealers and they're all really messed up. And all their kids, you can tell they had been, you know, doing drugs while having these kids. They were a lot of, you know, issues that children had. There was really rough. And I'm just staying with them for a while and trying to look after the kids because, you know, just someone needed to.

22:45And I don't know, I was, I don't know how it happened. I just remember they left the family. And I went with them for a little bit to help again with this because they were just disappear for days. And I just like, I don't know, these little tiny kids I don't take care of to help out. And, you know, these kids are messed. I mean, I'll tell you one short story is like one of the middle aged kid. I might have been nine or ten or something. I don't know. I was on the couch kind of half asleep and heard some like fun little noises and I woke up and he had a freaking butcher, a kitchen knife. And he's like swinging it at me. Right. And I'm like, I jumped up guy the way and he's just like yelling screaming. He's like chasing his siblings like swinging this knife. I said, these kids were like, there was some issues with them. They were banding all the time, not fed. You know, it was, it was rough. And so that's why I didn't leave also. I was like, okay, I got to, you know, someone's got to like, there's no one here. So, you know, moving to another place with them and they just disappeared. And I don't know, I don't remember how I happened. I just remember going back to this project house like what we were. You know, my mom was at my brother's sister and it was just empty. And I just, I don't know. She's so weird.

23:45And, yeah, I just decided like, well, let's go. Yeah. I just like, I figured it's easier on my mom as well. You know, let's people to feed all that kind of stuff. And I was like, I knew I could handle it. I was like, just, I just started like, no, no. I didn't have like a big conversation about it. Sort of no one was there looked through the window is empty and like, all right. And then I was like, well, okay, I figured something out. And so I did. And it kind of got me all kinds of crazy places and not very good. So a lot of crazy violent things and some really disgusting things, you know, and a lot of things, you know, they were just very rough. And, but I would just say, if you don't want to go, you know, I can slow me down if you want me to, but you know, one of the things though, like you said before how, you know, you want to wish certain things on people. I don't have to go into the crazy stories. I'm sure you can imagine, but, you know, but I'm still grateful for the experience and what it taught me about myself. Right. And, and, and, and looked a lot of the skills that I had to learn to survive, help me become who I am.

24:48Right. Even sometimes some of those sort of ways were it healthy, you know, after the streets are gone and you're in a new environment, you have to learn how to manage that environment differently. But one of the things that I would say, let me rephrase that the thing that got me through all of that was that, and I don't know where it comes from. Right. I've thought about it as an adult many times, you know, whether it's a genetic thing, whether it was just my early upbringing and the environment I grew up in, you know, I was born in Japan, you know, some martial art exposure, my father, military, he was, you know, he had his issues, but, you know, I don't know where it came from, but there was just, I had this very clear set of values that I knew that, OK, if I'm going to get through this, I'm going to get through this. Let me rephrase that I'm going to get through this. But the only way I'm going to survive this is that I have to hold strong to who I am and I first need to start to figure out who that is. Like I need to know who I am, I need to know what I stand for, I need to know what boundaries that I am not going to cross no matter what.

25:55Because I've seen what those boundaries, those cross those boundaries due to people, I saw I could see it in very disgusting, very violent ways, what happens, you know, if you don't know how to manage that well enough, right. I saw what happens when you decided to like get involved in drugs a little bit here and there, like, you know, I see I could see what was happening. So I just knew that I had to hold very, very strong values and that that was the only thing that I can control, right, that that was the thing that I had power over is how I showed up, what I stood for. And there was there was times where I got injured very badly because I stood up for those values. And I would know no matter the cost to me in that moment, I knew that whatever was going to cost me in that moment was nothing if I broke that. If I broke that value, if I gave in what the bigger cost was going to be. And I know people say these things about their life all the time, but I'm telling you right now, I know very specific clear moments in the in that period of my life that I would literally I'd be walking for hours and some days I would just walk. I know where else to go, right. So I just wander like I walk you know from one city to another for hours and days sometimes and just be thinking sometimes and this was the the thing that I would.

27:03I mean, I knew I realized that I was telling I was talking to myself about this. I was like trying to understand like, why do I need to do this? I was reminding myself often because it was so easy and so attempting to go the other way. You know, it's so easy to just accept that well, this is my life. This is who I am when I knew that wasn't who I was. This is just a situation I was in, but it wasn't me and it wasn't going to be me. Yeah. And so I did everything I had to do. And that was just slow just making you know finding the right environment to write people trying to have you know, this is where my pressure thing comes in right where I just knew that there's a lot of things I could not control. Especially at my age as well. It was like those are a lot of things that I I didn't like that were very scary, very dangerous, but I had no control of it right from what I knew and what I could do. But I had the sense that like if I'm just aware of the thing that I know I need to change, even like can't do anything about it now that that alone is power. That alone is going to be an opportunity at some point because at some point that thing that's hovering over me holding me back. It's going to there's going to be a crack somewhere in it.

28:06There's going to be a tiny little crack because I'm already put in pressure on it because I'm paying attention to it. I'm already going to be through the crack that little opening before I even realize it's there. That's how I live my life was just like just knowing all the things that I could control the things I couldn't control why are that was happening. And just that was just vigilant about that like aggressively just I'm holding this value no matter what. So that was kind of a long story. But there's a lot of stuff in between that. But I mean, yeah, to me, that's the most important thing. That's still how I live my life. That's how I coach it. So I parent that's how I mean every decision I make I always look back at who am I. What do I stand for and make sure that that's every time I have any decision to make that my action has to be aligned with those values period. Yeah, that's it. I've never heard somebody say that they want to have a less energy. I just got so much energy. I don't know what to do with it. I don't know what to do. For most people today, they want to have more energy. Energy is the fuel of our lives and our experience of energy.

29:08If we're looking at it through the lens of biology boils down deep down to the role of our mitochondria also known as our cellular power plants or cellular energy plants. But it's a dynamic exchange going on constantly with all of these trillions of mitochondria that we have within our bodies. Now, the question is what is going to help our mitochondria to do what they do and to give us that energy that we're really looking for. Of course, we want to mind our mitochondria, eat some nutritious food, eat foods that are not creating derangement and all these abnormalities, blood sugar spikes and coming up all of our cells. And our tissues make sure they're getting adequate sleep, checking all those boxes. But if we're boiling things down to a category of nutrients that we really want to look for, look no further than that category of electrolytes. Electrolites are minerals that carry an electric charge and they are critical for the function of your mitochondria.

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32:19Head over right now to drink element dot com or slash model and you're going to get a free bonus pack of their most popular flavors with every single purchase. I go to drink element dot com or slash model that's drink L M N T dot com for slash model to take advantage of this right now. Head over there, check them out drink element dot com for slash model and now back to the show. I got to say this is this code kept you alive and also has helped you to and I don't want to even belittle this word but to thrive like you are one of the most popular flavors. I think you are one of the most prized coaches for the number one tennis star in the world. Sure. And you were homeless right like this it doesn't make sense unless you understand the code like you had a code even then as a child you were 13 when you first came back home and looked through the window and everybody was gone.

33:24And deciding in that moment like okay let's go like this is I have to figure this out and having those you know those principles the these kind of code of ethics the pressure code you know the beginnings of it started the form that carried you through and to help you to survive circumstances that I mean it is beyond it's like the vast majority of people are not going to survive. So man this this is unbelievable and with that being said you have kind of broken down the pieces of this code and again so much has happened since you picked up these different skills over time. But I think a big part of that in like the kind of affirmation and the expression of it and seeing a place where you can actually add value with it happened with this dojo. Yes right so the language yeah and you would go so you know and I don't give too much away but it's in the book but this is just this is actually just a small part of the book but it's so.

34:28It's yeah it's just like it's a few pages but it's just like so much happens in these pages books just on that yeah but you know one of the things that you would do like you literally just kind of going and like looking in the window of this dojo and then you got to actually just kind of go and sit in on the side again you didn't you were homeless and over time you were invited to start to participate and you know just went from there so let's talk about that experience there with that dojo yeah I mean. You know the neighborhood we were in you know it was you know there was two areas where I was spent most that time and you know one of them was called the murder capital of the state it was crazy violence like a lot you know this little dojo was run down building there's a pawn shop and a pawn shop in between you know on either side of it so just peace you know exactly so it's just all that kind of area you know just some run down taverns and all this you know so it wasn't like some fancy you know shiny place but you know I think I was born in Japan. I think I was born in Japan and I think I just had this like connection with you know I'd done martial arts when I was younger and I sort of it was like a part of my old life kind of thing I you know I guess so I just I'd watch it be interested and yeah you know like I said I went in got the balls to go in one day basically I get actually going to building and just with let me sit and watch and I just do that a handful of times and then beyond the main sense there and I'll who's a you know ex investigator cop you know there's a lot of like sort of ex military per current military guys there.

35:53It was like also like a military town not too far. Anyway they invited me in and what I know who I was and why was there and I just kind of get randomly showing up and yeah I mean lucky for me I think that they allow me to train there I didn't have any parents to sign anything I didn't money. I mean this was already me you know slowly getting off the streets you know so it was already couple two three years of me already being you know living in that environment that I got access to this community you know that's what it gave me it really gave me like some structure obviously yeah some understanding you know of there's more out there. It gave me a language to a lot of things that I thought I understood and some things I did understand but I didn't know the words I didn't know how to you know I know language for it just was living it. And like I said already is you know for big part of his community it was like wow you know this is a you call it safe place but it was a place where it's like you know there's a lot of things that I can do. You know there was just different kind of respect you know the way people interact with each other you know it was like that first time where you can go you know what you and I can go like beat the crap out of each other literally right and then after we're done with shake hands we go have a drink or whatever you know.

37:04Got some coffee or whatever I don't drink but you know I just I don't know why I said that but you know what I mean like there's this environment where you can literally you have an understanding of each other you're there to help each other get better and you help each other get better through adversity. Through adversity through difficulty through discomfort through not allowing you to take shortcuts you know like even we even have this thing where like if you and I are like working on some technical thing right where we're sparring and you know let's say we're skilled you know similar skill level and you kind of let me do something and and allow me to do it even though it's not it wasn't right like I didn't do it right you know whatever say the technique was but you kind of let me do it not in a learning environment but we're sparring or fighting or whatever. Like to us that's extremely disrespectful disrespectful it's like you're now you're now. Allow me to believe that what I'm doing is working and it's not so how am I getting better it's actually worse than me not getting better I have this false sense that I know what I'm doing and then one day I might have to go do that and it's not going to work out for me.

38:04Right and so we had this very strong sort of sense of like we're going to we're here to help make each other better and we're going to do that through these difficult things and we're not going to let you hide in the you know in the corner and you know high from the bottom of the world. You know in the corner and you know high from yourself you know and so on top of that when I started like the black belt levels you know we had to read stacks of books on human behavior psychology nutrition history sociology like sometimes I'm specific you know ancient sort of you know older books on Zen and you know just so many different books that you give stack of books and we had a lot of paper about each book and then you give us a topic. You know like my very first black belt level my first you know I got my black belt there. I had a right paper on my which is like space conditioning so I can you know martial arts it's the control in the distance basically right but this concept of space conditioning. And how that applies to today society I was like nineteen or twenty I was like I was like I'm like say what so I had a it forced me to think about these these these things I was doing physically are these these principles and theories.

39:09But how can I take one thing and how can that one thing apply to other things so really challenge your your ability to again you know take a skill or understanding of one thing and can you really apply that do you understand it on a level that you can walk into any room or you can go to any environment and understand how to take some skills and some tools from one thing and apply it really effectively in another. So so much about who I am in that sense and how I coach now I parent I would say is is was really built from that gave me that structure yeah yeah it goes back to that code because that code translates into so many different areas of our lives you know these certain attributes certain skill sets certain mindsets right I love the simple sentiment of how you do anything is how you do everything. And this is something that I you know have instilled in my kids again and again you better do these dishes like you're trying to you know saying the most important. You know like take it seriously because it's not just about you as well right and being able to frame like do you want me to give you a dish that you know it has like debris on it yeah I tell you to drink out of it of course you know and just like I don't want that to happen to me let me take care of my family let me look out for everybody and if anything you know I'm going to do it.

40:24So I'm going to do it for everybody and if anything look out for myself so I'm not eating off of dirty dishes you know but just like that translates over just having having respect from the work that you're doing I saw that is one of the things you said it as well respect in this environment it wasn't about necessarily being a quote safe space. That's right it's a space with structure and with certain ethics in in a code right and so and also how do you create an image of that. How do you create an environment that you want to do that thing right you're big on the right we're going to talk about environment in a minute which I got some great insights from you already. But one of the things that I've seen. My my kids do and I'm seeing it with my youngest son right now again we didn't tell him to do this he just kind of picked this up from the environment now he's spending the last like this summer he spends so much time in the kitchen like cleaning the kitchen and like cleaning the fruit like we get fresh bear. He's he grins his own whatever puts him in these containers we've seen many many fruit purchases coming go right into the truck.

41:31And so he's taking that upon himself because he loves the fruit of course as well but he saw that this was the gap in our family structure right we're losing out on a lot of stuff and he doesn't like to pick through and to see which ones are good right so he found something some value proposition for himself sure what he does many push on his vibes that he's into he's in there doing this thing is it see whatever you know see it you know listen to his you know favorite artist or whatever the case might be just creates a vibe to where time disappears sure and he just in there doing these things you know and that's what you want to create for yourself and also you're intentionally doing this with your athletes. And so first of all I want to thank you for sharing and you know just kind of unpacking some of these insights you thought process in these conditions and you know seen as catalyst for change because in that within that context in the dojo you also started to teach as well. And so obviously since then you've impacted the lives and coach people in you know every domain you can imagine really just you know whether this is like you know the various sports you know people in business what are the case might be sure and in this place that you are now you

42:47are sharing the code with other people which is invaluable if people really get this and so one of the things that you talk about in the book are these three ease and so I want to dive into each one of these so the three ease our energy emotion and environment. Sir alright and something super powerful came up in energy that was just like all man he said the thing but first of all let's just start off with energy energy I think we have a superficial idea of why that matters like let's talk a little bit about energy and just some a couple of tips in that domain for people to really help to cultivate that yeah I love this one can I can I sidestep for just a moment absolutely is what you just talk about with the respect. And you know them taking action and you know taking some you know responsibility on their own is you know when you're first talking about hey go do the dishes do it well do you know these things and and you know it's almost like a respect thing like respect your environment specter family respect the you know this and that you know when these things come up you know the way I

43:54saw the change in my own kids when I changed it up a little bit instead of saying hey why don't you have respect for x y and z it's like or have some respect for yourself. Like at the end of the day you're doing that it's like about how you know it's yes the outcome might be that you're also showing respect to your environment the people around you and what not or the thing but it needs to start with you like you're doing this because you have respect for yourself it's not just half-ass and something you know I just kind of doing it you have some purpose behind it even if it's a small thing and so that's that's part of that exposure and that sort of mentality of when you're doing that it's not just you're doing it and it's not very respectful the way you're doing that or it's not just a little bit of the way you're doing that or it's more respectful that way for this reason it's like well no like have some respect for yourself like why would you want to be that person or to be seen that way you know if that's who you really are so anyway that's just a part like way I kind of flip it a little bit and yeah I remember the first time I just kind of happen one day when I said it to one of my kids and you I literally saw like this like this light like you can literally see their facial expression is completely change and it's like

44:57oh never thought about that way I had to share that was just something I thought about okay my men so energy I want to talk about that I'm all right well with the three ease to me I'll just explain first what I what I why I talk about these three so and so passionately and I think it's the thing is that we live in this world that we're just trying to optimize everything and I'm not saying that's a bad thing like obviously it's we're all we all do it right we all have the things that we do and you know all our social everywhere we go it's just optimize ad ad ad ad you know adding layers and go do this you need that you need this you know and then eventually you know you see the general population or the people who are really trying to push themselves suddenly they have like 80 different supplements they're taking a day they're measuring every little metric there you know there's adding more more layers but that's again just taking more their time and their energy their intention which is energy its resources being used up and they're just inputs and we're really good at it and system awesome ones I do them but what I find missing is is all of these inputs all these hacks all these programs and systems and whatnot I look at those is like apps on your phone

46:02right and the three ease are the operating system of the phone right so yes there's amazing apps out there there's also some useless ones right but you know everyone's out there chasing to add more apps I bet you if we look at all of our phones in this room right now we all probably have a ton of apps don't even know how we got them and why we got them but at the time we needed it you know what I mean we're well that was the new thing and there's the thing and we don't even use them anymore right it doesn't matter how awesome how effective an amazing and app is if the operating system underneath it is is corrupt or it's running in like a survival mode then it you know I feel like a lot of people and this is going to lead into the energy part is that they're doing tons of work to optimize their stressful sort of life whatever that means for them but what's happened is they're just they're in survival mode and now there's building a really optimized survival mode and at the end of the day a survival mode is still survival mode yeah that makes sense absolutely so and that's what I see where like so much people so many people like losing a lot of themselves a lot of resources they're doing all the right things right if you said all yeah take this I do that I did in my room temperature like oh you know

47:10the all the stuff you know you wrote some awesome books about those things they are so effective but if there's deeper layers of like why and when they apply those things if there's if they're sort of living out of alignment of like who they say the versus what they're doing you know there's a lot of layers of what you can talk about then you know they're chasing and adding so much and they're just but they're using up so much resources chasing the next thing with no real intention behind in a purpose about how how does it all work together yeah are you are you adding those layers because you're you need it again add a layer to your code right so it's all in aligned with what you're you know you're aiming to do or to improve so when I talk about the three ease it's not just like there's these three separate things and it's not even about how you can control or manage each of those separate things individually it's how can you align those three things how can you align those three ease now get it energy and so I had to kind of set the table sort of thing with this so because it's a big thing to me it's everything it's everything anytime there's an opportunity an obstacle some goods and bad whatever any and every time whether it's me arena anyone on the team my family if there's something we have to face

48:18and there's all this noise and it could be excitement it could be terrible it could be fear it could be stress every time those things happen the way I'm able to kind of create a little bit of space between me and the thing happening so I can see more clearly I can make a better choice in that moment is that I just go back and I just cycle through those three ease of those three things what was missing leading up to this moment what did I miss or do or not do up to this moment that made this go wrong or you know made it stressful whatnot and then I cycle through those three things so what it does it gives me like this power I can turn out all the noise it's in all the voices I can save energy right all this mental and emotional energy that's just being used up with all this noise and this panic and this whatnot because I have this platform this this operating system this code that I know I'm building that I know I need to be loyal to and I want to go into energy I have two parts well there's three like you got mental physical and emotional energy essentially right like we all kind of know this and on a superficial level we have well how do we process our emotions right how are you internalize them how we process this information

49:24this feeling these emotions and the second part is well how do we present those emotions how do we allow them out in the world right so energy we have you know our physical energy obviously our mental energy you and even you know without deluding it or getting you know into the emotion said this is emotional energy but for keep it simple say we have physical and mental energy right we only have so many resources available to us based on our what we've been doing with our bodies with our sleep with nutrition you know our environment essentially so again they're all very connected but with energy you know everyone talks about sleep right you know very well a lot about sleep right everyone talks about all these things on you know recharging your batteries like you know build up your you know recovery we talk so many things about recovery out there right so as all these things and again people are constantly going and adding more things to help them recover better right and the part about energy that I think because we don't have you know forever to see our talk is the biggest part I find that people are missing maybe or that has the biggest impact isn't all these things that they're adding

50:30because a lot of them are really good yeah but it's like where they let the energy leak yeah right and and often I find it's in the things that they're either avoiding right there's some things that they know they need a face and they're avoiding it that ways on you and the longer you avoid it the heavier it gets the longer you avoid it the more energy is draining from you the more resources it's taken because it's in the background is hanging out there. The other thing you know it could be a conversation you're avoiding right the other part of that so there's the avoiding the other is that the things that you're allowing so there's things that maybe around you with this conversations content you know there's there's things that you allow that again might go against who you are what you want to do where you want to be and that is taking energy from you right so there's I usually start with people it's like instead of let's look at what we can add and optimize because it's not the you know the information's out there's not so hard to figure out right so much of these days but why not is let's go a little bit deeper let's put where you losing energy right and I want one more thing so there's probably three big ones is I know I mentioned earlier just suddenly that everything in the world is designed to take our attention our attention is constantly in our phones alone it is so advanced technology that it doesn't matter if you can be the most mindful person the world you open that thing up a half hour ago you know where it went

51:51you know what I mean you got how many times you open your phone to do one thing said you're doing something else and you forgot what the thing was the only reason you picked up your phone you know everywhere we go everywhere driving around listen to the car everywhere we go these are pulling our attention it's taking our resources our energy and one of the most powerful things I've ever seen happened for myself my kids the athletes and clients I work with is getting them just to find moments throughout the day 90 seconds 30 seconds five minutes just to stop like you take some control of your attention right you you own it it's your resource and just just stop like literally just stop like don't look at your phone don't worry about thinking or not thinking like I this thing I call it don't fight it don't feed it right you know I'll give you an example what I mean by taking these moments so I don't get very good sleep right have some issues with sleep still so try to work through it I haven't been to sleep clinics I'm super systemic when I'm sleep and even though I thought I slept I don't go in a deeper stages half the time

52:51most of the time just to be clear this is an extraordinary situation that you were in living yeah I've had people literally on my sleep like literally have people like you know I've been shot out I got one of my concussions was like getting the head with the gun wall I was sleeping now I've had all kinds of crazy things like so yes I understand where it's coming from now but I spent most of my life just burying that I just helping everybody else like until recently when my health started coming coming at me knowing very well about how sleep works I mean I've written papers you know with like some of the schools of stuff and I'm anyway I know what it means yeah it's not too difficult but you know I'll give you a real example for me is that in my lifestyle like I might be coaching in one place I might be lecturing at some university I have a presentation to do I might be you know got my kids family you know a lot I'm in like 10 different places each day let's say on an average day what I do is right before and after the thing I'm doing now so before I came upstairs to hang out with you I just sat in the car for five minutes turned everything off you know how quiet a car is when there's nothing on like literally you imagine all this

53:53stuff because you sealed it sealed shut for a reason right so when you turn off everything you say your phone down you sit there and you could breathe if you want you could just chill out you could do whatever you want like I have some breathing things I do but just quiet and at first you know how how loud quiet is it is heavy and it is so much louder than you might have like could have ever imagined because you never do it you never just have things off there's always sound you know if you ever been in your house when the power goes out suddenly like it just sounds different you don't realize the constant noise that's going on all the time right and these things taking your energy all the time the taking energy taking taking taking so a big way I like look at energy is look where the leaks are again what are the things that you're avoiding or hiding from and as often as you can just take a minute like five six seven eight nine ten times you know throughout the day just take a little break so before and after you got up meeting you know before and after that thing you have to study you know before you go into a game

54:56afterward just take a few seconds how much every time you have and just slow it on your breathing let your thoughts kind of you know don't fight anything don't feed anything just just be and that not only is you are you saving some energy like you know you're not you're not you're not scrolling on your phone or you're not answering some whatever you know email or whatever or overthinking something that just happened previously you're actually gaining energy that moment of just being present that literally recharges you your nervous system is like oh yeah thank you I needed that moment you already addressed the specific thing I was going to ask you about with energy which was again we especially in this community but just we all know this stuff we know like food gives you energy you know your your sleep quality is going to influence your energy obviously the choices that you make with these things are going to influence your your energy the inputs right yes yes but what I specifically was impressed with was this statement in the book is this a direct quote from the book it says

56:00most people don't lack energy they leak it exactly all right we've got plenty of energy we're teaming with energy like these atoms and doing all these things these molecules we're teaming with energy ATP is getting produced is crazy right but it's the fact that we're leaking the the our energy and you said in the book as well you wouldn't pour water into a cracked glass right and so it's making sure that we're not just leaking energy and so that we can actually contain the energy that we're taking in and you shared also there's these three moves with that ledger when it comes to our energy build your reserves by creating deposits that's the one that we tend to hyper focus on yeah protect what you have by guarding against leaky with draws and spend your energy wisely by investing deliberately you know again so you've got some super just science-bagged simple insights when it comes to these things when it comes to our nutrition when

57:04it comes to movement and but mostly this inside of like we've got a guard against and you got a great section on this draining our energy through having these leaks and you you talk about the specific ways that it tends to happen which is a tension drain which you already covered the digital distraction all that stuff people tax yes sir that's a big one that's a big one and system friction so sloppy environments endless meetings and just all of those type of things and these all these three ease are integrated it isn't just like here's your energy over here here's your environment over here it's an ecosystem I want to move on and talk a little bit more about emotion so we hit energy sure already we set the table so why is emotion so huge why is that one of the three ease well I mean for a lot of people's unfortunately I would say is they allow their feelings and their emotions to drive the buses they say to control how they respond in any given moment you know and

58:11how we walk into a room how we present ourselves you know about how we're feeling like we have to understand like you know if I have some crazy thing happening to me this week or this last night you know I landed here at three in the morning you know I had all these issues with the car I always if I bring all that garbage into this room we're not going to have a very good conversation the outcomes are going to be a positive one it's not going to be a win-win for everybody and so you know I have to understand that like okay I might have a way I'm feeling at the moment but I have to understand how I present and how I respond to that is going to directly impact the outcome you know what happens next right and and if I really want to improve my life if I want to have that normalcy that steady you know safe you know high performance whatever the environment is that you're wanting whether it's what you have and you're trying to keep it or you're trying to get to a place that you're not now then you have to understand that emotions are powerful we our brain and our emotions are responding like before we even realize it right they're they're the ones who are

59:14like those deeper levels they're trying to like control us but you know the more we're aware of ourselves the more we understand why we're experiencing something the better that we can create a little bit of separation like I like to talk about a little bit of space between this emotion and how you respond because that response is everything right it's you know it's not my kids fault if I had some crazy conversation on the phone or good or bad doesn't matter it's not my you know not arena's problem if I come with it it's not ours if she has something like you know it's it's like this weird coin there's two sides it's everyone's responsibility it's also nobody's but at the end day comes from that coin is you and so the emotion is it's such a driver it's very powerful and if you just let it be and just let it do whatever and you just you know fall into the bubble of whatever social media is feeding you because you know you know how that algorithm algorithms work you're like in a bubble in a bubble in a bubble it's like your world you know you believe this this thing to be so true because that's what you talked about it what you said and so then everything

1:00:14you read and see and hear and consuming is just that thing so becomes your world you know and that creates an emotion in you and then you let that drive you right and so then you really have no control of where your life is going right you have no there's nothing there you know and then what ends up happening is that when peak moments happen in your life good or bad or otherwise a good opportunity for you to grow to take a step forward or whatever is that you've been living in such a disconnection from what you've been feeling and how you respond and like like the values you stand for and the actions you take there's such a separation there that when these key moments come the emotion that takes over is the one that you've been building that code that you've been building right that's the one that's going to show up on the on those big moments in your life and the big moments still have to be big there can be small moments but the ones that can shift the direction that your life is going next the direction that you're going to end up and if you let the motion just take over and just let it do whatever is going to do and you allow all these external things to decide who you're going to be right instead of you deciding who you want to be and then making sure that

1:01:17those actions and part of that is to understand not to control your emotions so much but understand who are you and and why do I feel these types of emotions in certain environments or certain things I'm like with arena I never went to change her right she was who she was but I had to help her understand who she was and then she can understand okay well this is who I want to be so I need to act this way to get what I want right and I need to have you know I can still experience those emotions I can feel them I can they can exist so I'm not saying you suppress them you never want to do that like I said I call it don't fight it don't feed it right you give it what it what it requires for this moment right now so I can have those emotions I can experience all those things and I'm going to but most of the time I want to be the one driving them right occasionally they'll take over because that's how it is right it's going to happen to all of us but I think just having that understanding that if you don't do these things with intention and you don't understand what you stand for and you don't

1:02:19be as mindful as you can about why are you responding like why do you have that feeling inside about something and then understand how you your next thing that you do is going to influence the direction your life goes you know it's you're done you're just going to be like everyone else chasing their tails even the ones even your audience for sure they're out there trying to do all the right things but why are they still so stressed why are they still exhausted why they still chasing another thing why in the big moments are they falling apart because there's that deeper thing that they're just they're not in alignment with yeah so yeah I love that you also illuminate the fact that our emotions are valuable there aren't these bad emotions of course and these emotions are really signals and again really aligning with who we want to be sometimes a signal can show up and it might not be an alignment with the person that we're choosing to be right then so the signal can show up and typically it would just take over right that emotion would take over and again it's

1:03:20not right or wrong sometimes it's just it's just it's what it is but the signal can also come up and we can catch the sea the signal and we can make an adaptation in that moment but for most of us what happens is the emotion comes up and it takes over and a lot of times especially with something like anger it has to run this course that's right right before we kind of can reset it's like the Hulk you know what I mean it's just like you shriek back down wait a minute wait pause what anyways um with you know when the Hulk becomes you know and he's just like what did I do this time you know what I mean and it's when the emotion takes over and instead of like having a plan because that emotion needs a place to express of course and it's right and so again if if anger has been a tool that you've used to succeed right to fight yeah and this I think this is a great kind of description of certain stages with arena 100% right yes and versus when that the

1:04:24anger might leak or kind of take over and then it can affect your play in a negative way that's right right so it's being able to use that to your advantage to be aware of who you are exactly right and your superpower and not allowing your superpower to also become your kryptonite exactly which you can very easily if you're not if you're not careful yeah 100% but it's I do talk about that a lot with emotions that there it's just signals it's data it's information it's real it's important but you know you don't need to always have this like well I'm feeling it so it's it's it's real it's fact it's just the way it is it's like well no you know I heard an analogy I put it in one of my my cards in this card deck thing that I made is that you know these these feelings they often lie right because I you know how it is our brains always try to protect this you know there's all these little things that are our brains try to do to us and our environment even but is that you know these feelings or emotions I know there's some differences but feelings and emotions it's like it's like the weather but it's not the climate right there's going to be moments

1:05:25right the there'll be sunny there can be rainy the wind's going to come there's a bit of hail I don't know where you know you didn't expect there's supposed to be a sunny day suddenly it's there's a monsoon I'm in Florida you know like it's we're all those water come from half hour later it's sunny again all right that's just weather things can come and go in your life and that's that's the way it is doesn't matter what you do it's going to happen you know but the things we're talking about is that you know it's not the climate not that bigger picture of like okay how do we really exist who are we really and where are we going so it's just those those be able to zoom back and kind of just separate yourself a little bit it's very hard to do especially again going back to I just said if you don't take those little moments throughout the day just to stop for a second all those external things are going to control you they're going to drive they're going to decide where the destination is for you yeah you have no control over that now yeah I've seen videos have heard doing some breathing yeah yeah exercises may of course you use the body to control the mind my man like you know what is your kind of go to recommendation with the breathing exercise oh I know look I think there's a couple things I would I would say it depends there's a couple

1:06:30things one on I sort of just real simple way of looking at it is when I have people breathe in a certain time like the in this moment I need you to breathe often it's like I'm not even gonna tell you exactly how to breathe just wanting to stop just slow down your breathing for a second that's it like don't overthink it don't analyze oh it needs to be 4 6 10 or just you know like oh we have all these numbers and all the science and like again it's real I use it so I'm not saying that's not a thing don't give me wrong here however you know most people you know just just if you just slow it on your exhale for a second just take a nice deep breath in hold it for a couple seconds exhale slow as you can doesn't matter if it's 6 seconds 10 seconds I don't care like it's what are you capable of doing well how what if I asked you to do like you know a certain number of seconds breathing but you're like super out of shape your mobility is really tight just stiff everywhere you can't you know you ribcage as a move your diaphragm is like you know just been under that for like 20 years you know I mean just chilling you know what I mean you living in a

1:07:32stress state so always breathing really up in your neck and your shoulders and all that and I'm asking you to take a deep breath right now you know how you gonna breathe you know it's gonna be all neck all tension all it's it's tension it's systemic again it's like yeah all right so I need to find out well where you capable of where are you and just just first step take a nice long exhale just reset it doesn't matter how long it is I don't care because again I don't want you to be thinking like I have to do this thing I have to add another input I have to do it this way or else it doesn't work because that's the that's the part where everyone's trying to over optimize almost where they they it becomes a stress in a negative way because it's like well I have to do this or else well I need to do it this way oh you know they said I have to you know be a bed by 10 or 10 30 or else I'm gonna lose all these things some of them will be true you know obviously it's I'm not saying there's not real evidence behind some of these things but if you give it to people that way then the it's like it's it's too constraining they'll do it for a little while out of compliance but not out of a commitment right it's it's not them so meet them where they're at so my first

1:08:34thing is you know what take it you know breath in you know try to relax deep breath hold it for a few seconds just exhale slow as you can I just do and then just breathe normal for a few reps and then do it again that's it great advice so easy yeah right I have a lot of things with like breath holds and I mean there's a lot of things I do but I mean honestly man sometimes that's just the missing like that simple little thing take a time out slow down your breath and you're good to go so so simple again the longer exhale right just it literally if you are listening to your heart when you breathe in your heart rate goes up a little bit when you breathe out it goes down yeah sympathetic versus parathetic every time little biohack which again that word has been bastard eyes but just be able to exhale as long as you can just a couple just a couple times couple breaths can help your body just kind of find a new a new state that's right well it gives you it gives you just that just enough space yeah the space just enough space to kind of like see what's really going on around you yeah and that's why you need sometimes space between that's right

1:09:36saying that was that Dave Matthews maybe I don't know that I don't know I have to go with that later all right so I know somebody's listening like yes that's it that's the guy all right uh lastly I want to talk about environment all right so the three E's energy emotion environment in the book you say quote your environment doesn't just surround you it programs you it teaches your body and mind what's possible what's dangerous and what's normal let's talk about that back quote yeah it's fire it's fire look I I don't like to put any of the you know either of the three E's as ones more important than the other it's a very strong ecosystem each one influences the other and it just cycles around all the time environment is I'll break it down to like into the others we have environment we have an internal environment an external environment so in-trial environment people you think what nutrition hydration you know maybe even the air

1:10:41you're breathing you know this these kind of things will influence your your overall health your well-being this you know the kind of stressor's good or bad that your body is going through based on you know what you just ate what you're drinking or didn't drink so is that part that we already kind of understand the internal environment the other part about the internal environment that I think again I like to highlight more so is is the conversations that you're a part of the content that you're consuming the conversations that you allow like you may not be directly part of it but you know you're in an environment where you you know these are things being talked about or you know discussed or highlighted or whatever you know made into some big thing that doesn't need to be is giving it all this stuff it doesn't need to be exist so those things that you allow the things that you are part of the things that you initiate so and again with our phones the things that you're consuming all those things have a strong influence on your internal environment the way you see the world the way you're thinking is the way your emotions are acting responding you know so that's our internal environment our external environment yes of course

1:11:46we have like you know sleep you know the darkness the temperature the you know the setting all these things that people are to kind of know really well about what for me when I talk about the external environment to me it's the people 100% the people that it's that's the most important thing I believe and that's again you can't always control who's around you so I look at there's like three circles right there you have your inner circle that you're around most of the time it's been most your days with you have sort of a bit of an outer circle so people kind of come and go maybe different phases at different times more or less and then like the peripheral and this is the part I think sometimes people miss is that like let's say you know let's say you and I work together we spend a lot of time together let's say you know we've been we have projects we're going we spend a lot of time then we have a few people kind of coming and going in our business and where you know you know we're still spending more time with them or with our family people coming and going but what we'd often think about is like well who do you spend your time on when I'm not around like because those people are going to influence who you are and then you're going to bring that into where into my environment now and so this is the part that people kind of miss you know

1:12:49like you can come in here and put on a facade and and you know say you a certain way and they have certain values and you have a certain intention but if he spent most your time around people that aren't like that or that's not your environment and you're not mindfully trying to you know be different than that environment then you're going to bring that garbage into my environment and people miss that all the time that's for me that's a big part so when it comes to environment yes internal environment all the normal things we we talk about all the time for supplements and nutrition etc but remember the content you're consuming the conversations you're having and allowing and initiating those are powerful more than anything else it doesn't matter you can do all the right things with your sleep right but if you just you know if you're in this again like the survival mode like I talked about and you've been optimizing your survival mode so you've optimized your sleep but you're still in this environment that is just influencing you in such a negative way or it's not going the direction or it's out of alignment with who you you are and what values you want to stand for then you can go and lay there you can do all the

1:13:49chick called the boxes you know Sean told me I go to ABC I'm doing everything you know and it's the best things but I'm still laying there in a horizontal position still with that same mentality that same intro you know noise going on and it doesn't matter how much I optimize it I'm still going to be optimizing a survival mode you know so that's the thing that's to be very very mindful of for me it's and as we talked about earlier it doesn't even matter like they might say the right things they might have the right body language but you got to know who they are what's a real intention in this environment right now and then also what are they bringing into that environment and being aware of like does that environment need this right now if I were to give you an example like even just with arena in our team there's different times that so each of us have our own like sort of you know official job then each of us have sort of like these sort of you know more peripherals sort of extra other things that we all kind of do to make sure that everything's going really well for the whole team and for each other and sometimes those skill sets or a personality

1:14:50what the team needs now or let's say you want to read the needs right now like I know what she needs right now I know I know what she needs to hear I know what she needs to do but you know what in this moment right now if it comes for me it's not going to be heard not the right way but I know if you know if Helen like Arfizio female she's the Fizio they kind of have some quiet time together do stuff you know what I'm going to talk to Helen about something and see if she can just kind of like you know hey how you feel about this or whatever it is you know you're going to be a physical thing it mentally doesn't matter but you see what I mean is understanding like you know you don't have to be the guy yeah I all the time you have to understand the environment and who would bring the most value at this moment it does indeed value the others and it doesn't lift up the other you know the person who's in charge of that time it's just understanding that this is a living evolving ecosystem and if I really want the most for everyone around me and I want us to be able to achieve whatever it is that we're trying to achieve and sustain that while maintaining our values while maintaining true to ourselves so we you know can look back with you know a

1:15:54positive memories of these things these experiences then you have to understand that like you know you can have someone who's the least experienced the newest person on your team or in your environment and there's just a moment like what they bring to the table is it's so much more powerful than it came from me there's times that like I remember early days with Anton he was you know he's half my age you know I think I'm older and maybe their parents I don't know but you know and he was new at coaching so I used to talk every night when he when he first started coaching about how we're going to approach the next day what we should do what she'd say how we should structure things you know physically mentally all that stuff and I remember this one time and that was a great reminder for me and I was we were talking about what we should do approach this this challenge that we're facing right this thing that we're struggling to figure out how to help her with there's like early early days and I come up with an idea and a plan so I sort of talking about it and then he I don't even remember I wish I remember the words but he just said something in just a few words that like literally just like it just threw me back I was I was blown away that this young

1:16:59guy had said something so much more impactful than anything had come up with for that particular thing that's something I'll probably would have never come up with because he's different generation he's actually part of the same generation as she is from the same country so they shared a lot of things that I I might know but I never understand and so just being aware that you know what I'm out I'm not this you got it go do your thing whatever he feels right in that moment you're doing it because that is like I got to write that down that was really good you know what I mean so I just understanding how all those things really interact and that you can learn so much from each other in a good and bad way so be very very careful you love in that circle so this is amazing man I've enjoyed this thoroughly I've got some great insights myself prior to even meeting you just you know reading the book and you know and studying you when you're your your wisdom you're just expressed that wisdom again like I don't have to be the guy right and just being able to understand the value of a team and when it really boils down to it in this

1:18:05life experience like you've literally had the experience of not having that team like to the extreme that most people would just I mean I don't know you have the words for it much don't survive that so again I'm grateful that you were able to share that now I was I'm grateful that you were able to survive that and to figure those things out but truly in this lifetime the thing that gives us the most value the thing that really helps us to have the life that we desire and deserve to live are the people around us and that team that we create and we create these different teams in these different kind of social constructs but we are a reflection of that and your insight of like who is your team made associating with like these are getting to those layers like man you're I mean you were dropping some serious insights and for things for if again if we're going to stack conditions to where our environment is making these things

1:19:05automatic for us right like man it's so rich so powerful so I appreciate you so much can you tell people where to pick up a copy of the pressure code yes so well first of all thank you very much for having me and all those nice words I really appreciate that the pressure code yep it's a probably easiest way to just go the pressure code dot com got my website there's links for that there's the newsletter you can sign up to I'm just sharing insights sort of behind the scenes of what I'm up to what I'm thinking about it's probably the easiest way it's available around the world online already it's rocking it and rolling baby I'm excited amazing man I'm very grateful very grateful so thank you last question what is the model that you're here to create for other people with how you live your life personally whoa what is the model say that one more time I like that what is the model or the example that you're here to set or to create for other people with how you live your life personally I think know what you stand for and be sure that everything that you do aligns with

1:20:07that so live what you say lead by example and for me the biggest thing is you know be there in service of others because that all comes around for you and if everyone had that same mentality that I'm here for you and you had that same mentality for me then it's gonna be a win-win-win-win no matter what goes on good more so yeah that's what I say amazing thank you so much man of course man thank you for having me this is awesome the one and only Jason Stacy everybody thank you so much for tuning into this episode today I hope that you got a lot of value out of this if you did you already know what to do share this out with the people that you care about share the inspiration there's so much hot mess out there let's get it shared abundantly let's share some hot goodness all right share this on social media take a screenshot of the episode tag me I'm at Sean model and tag Jason as well I know that he would love to see the love and of course you could send this directly from the podcast aptitude listening on right to somebody who you care about all right again

1:21:09keep the positivity going keep the conversation going listen we've got some epic master classes and world leading experts come in your way very very soon so make sure to stay tuned take care have an amazing day and I'll talk with you soon