GGACP Rewind: Episode #17: Barbara Feldon

0:00Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, Mrs. Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. You know, when I was a kid, one of my favorite TV shows was a takeoff on all the James Bond movies. It was called Get Smart, and it was created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry. And today, what do you find? My co-host, Frank Santopadre and I visited the townhouse of Agent 99 herself, the funny and beautiful Barbara Felden. And now, ladies and gentlemen, still sexier than any Bond girl,

1:00ladies and gentlemen, Agent 99 herself, Barbara Felden. Oh, Max. Boy, that, that still gives me a chill of my spine. Yeah, that still, that still doesn't. Oh, how about, look out, Max. Flashbacks. Yeah, all right. That was probably, those were the two things that I... Now, how many oh, Max's were there? There was the scared oh, Max, the seductive oh, Max. There were probably about 4,327 Max's thing. Can you show? Mostly the oh, Max was, it was half between affection and, like, embarrassment. Oh. Now, if you remember, the first time we met...

2:04I do, how could I forget? Oh, my God. Buddy, he said, we have a mutual friend, buddy. And Buddy said, I want you to make Gilly. He's very, very fond of you. Yes. And it's so... Don't, don't, don't, surprise. We went to Beth Israel Hospital to the intensive care unit and there you were. That's where I meet all my dates. It was auspicious. You were displayed in the intensive care and not looking too good. No. Why did I look like there? Because I couldn't see much. Honest to God, you looked, I mean, first of all, you looked very young, but you were very young. This was about 19... 19... No. Yeah, 1992, I think. Right? Oh, I think yes, yes, because it was right around the time when Aladdin was coming out. Oh, really? Yes, yes. Oh, okay. I had a burst appendix. Yeah, yeah.

3:05And then there were complications. Yeah, there was, um, uh, parotonitis. Oh, my God. Yeah. And you were, you were really out of it. You had this far away look in your eye and I thought, oh, my God, is he going to make it? And you were, you were adorable. You were like in your 30s, I think. Oh, yeah. You would just look like a, like a boy. And it was in big trouble. I liked you immediately. You know, because you were in trouble. I mean, looking for that. It's not some preferred thing. No, no, it's not that I... ...dying guys. No, I haunt the... The haunted house. There's not some kind of sick stuff we're binding out about Bob Reffelden. No, hanging out in the intensive care unit just in case some attractive young thing would be in real trouble. Yeah. Because I remember I was there in intensive care and it was like dark in there.

4:06And there's all these machines pumping and I was attached with a thousand wires to me. And I was on million drugs and I was like fading in and out of consciousness. And everything was in a dream state. Yeah. Like people walking around look blurry and I could just vaguely hear voices. And I was in horror. I felt horrible. And then, out of the darkness, I see agent 99. Did you think you were hallucinating? Yeah. Yeah. I thought if I survived this, I want to know what drugs they have me on because I want to continue these. Well, you took one today. Here I am. Oh, yes. Now, now tell us about how you, well, you actually, and I remember these commercials, before Get Smart, you were the girl rolling around on the tiger skin rug.

5:11You're right. Acrooning to all you tigers. To use top brass and sickle. It was a very easy job. You can imagine. Yeah. No, I still remember that because that to me was porn. That was porn. Yeah. In those days, yeah. It was very sort of tongue in cheek, but yeah, it was definitely a come on. Was it Dandruff shampoo? Wasn't it top-top brass? See that? Nobody knew what the product was. Yeah. It was top brass. They thought it was me. Yeah, it was top brass hairdressing for men. I should tell our listeners, I think you can find that commercial online on YouTube. It's still out there. Yeah. And that was the thing that they got to Buck Henry supposedly saw it and decided that, was it Buck Henry that decided you were the person? No, actually, that commercial in truth ran for two years. And nobody, first of all, they didn't think it was me delivering it.

6:14They thought I was a model and they'd had an actor kind of say the word. So I would look believable, but in two years of it running constantly, nobody thought I would be capable of acting in anything. So that was not what led to Get Smart. What led to Get Smart was an interesting story because it was right time, right place, but that was two years after. Now, say the two guys who created Get Smart. Well, Buck Henry and Mel Brooks. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they were just, it was brilliant. I mean, it was that kind of talent comes out, you know, maybe once in a generation or a few times in a generation. And it was just at the right time. It was, well, Dan Melnik, who was with talent associates, the producer, had the idea to do an extreme version of James Bond and take it as far as you could

7:22into a comic strip. And then they hired Mel and Buck to write it. And when they, it was the right time, the right place, it was the right time in history, it was everything was spiced something at that time. Yeah, because there was James Bond, there was Man for a Month. Man for a month. Uncle, it followed. Sure. Yeah. Our man, Flint and Matt Helm. Oh, yeah. The Matt Helm. There were already Bond, already Bond parodies floating around. And so it just took it to the furthest step. Do I have more bad information or were they trying to find some kind of combination of Bond and the Panther films? Because that's what I read online. That could be, I don't know everything. I know very little. But I may be full of disinformation as far as I know. Well, that wraps up our interviews. Yeah, there we go. Yes, you've gone totally seen aisle.

8:25That may be true. Now, I remember hearing an interview that Don Adams, they said, you're going to have like a sexy sidekick named Agent 99. Yeah. And they showed them a bunch of photos. And when it got to you, he said something like, well, you're kidding, aren't you? You know, like this was, why is there even a competition? Oh, I didn't know that story, but I'm happy to hear it because the story that Don always told. More misinformation. They hired me because talent associates had done another series called Mr. Broadway. Craig Stevens. Craig Stevens, who is six foot four. And I played an industrial spy, a kind of sexy industrial spy. So when they got the script for Get Smart and they read the 99 character, they said, that's the character. That's her. So they offered me the role.

9:27And Don, and Don did not know who I was. And they showed me, they showed him the episode of Mr. Broadway. And he said, he was walking out of the room, watching enough of it. He saw enough of it and said, oh my god, she's the one. This is just perfect. And he said, got to the door. He turned around just as Craig Stevens got up. And I was standing and we were the same height. And I mean, I'm not six foot four, but and he went, wait a minute. So we had, we had a long history of my working in stocking feed and having little holes dug for me in the sand to stand in. And I've always said that I'm the only actress in Hollywood who had calluses on her ankles. Now, you said in, you were like, your back was hurting doing those because you'd had to scrunch down.

10:28I'm pumping. Yeah. No, I would slouch. I hate to watch those early ones because all I'm doing is trying to look short, you know, forget the acting, just make me look short. And yeah, I would slouch and then I would stick my hip out and then I would turn my foot over. And then I could look up at him. And you said too that there are certain, if you watch any episode, there are your high changes. Yeah. We walk in with shoes on me and do the close-ups and verify it. In my bare feet. Yeah, well, how tall were you and how tall was done? I was five-nine. He said he was five-nine. I said. Now, what about all the guest stars you had on that show? Oh, they were fabulous.

11:28I mean, all of the comedians because they were all pals of his. And I rarely worked with any of them because those were scenes that he did with with them. And that was always a big treat, you know, on the set. Rickles, Johnny Carson, Larry Storch. And everybody came through there. A very young James Conn. That's right, as the prince. That's right. Yes, yes, Don loved to do those take-offs on movies. Yeah, I remember. They were, he used to, he did one, or more than one, where he would do a Ronald Coleman limitation. Oh, yeah. And then others, one where it was a whole take-off on the treasure of Sierra Madre, who's doing his bow guard. Yeah, yeah, and Earl Flynn. And oh, yes, yes, and then there was one where, because this was another hit show at the same time, they did a whole take-off on the fugitive. Oh, yeah.

12:28Yeah, where they said, you know, and they had an announcer at the beginning go, and now Maxwell Smart is a fugitive. Well, he was a great mimic. He did a wonderful Ronald Coleman. Yes. And they did, they did a parody of the list of Adrian Messenger. Do you remember that movie? Oh, yes, I love that. I love that. Where everybody is in makeup, which Sinatra and all the people are in makeup. I mean, it was, it was very sophisticated writing. My favorite episode was the one, and it's one of the few episodes. I really remember very clearly, is the one where we both played Charlie Chaplin, so we're in Mustache's and the whole thing, and it's when Max finally proposes to Agent 99 in her mustache. That was fun. Is it true that the series was originally written for Tom Poston and wound up with Don because it went to another network? Yeah, I mean, I don't know why that happened, but I do know that... My understanding, it was as ABC, and Tom Poston was under contract, and when it went to NBC, they had Don under contract, and that's how.

13:30And now you can't imagine anyone else having done that role. He was a joy to work with. It was his energy. His just, it was like adrenaline. It was like getting, you know, just having 16 cups of coffee, the minute they said action, because it was... You just hook into that energy. You don't even have to do anything. You just lift it off. And I heard, too, he said that his whole character of Maxwell Smart was like an imitation of William Powell. Like an exaggerated thing, because he had that kind of triangle. Oh, it was. And it was a totally exaggerated caricature. Yeah, no, no question. But he had done that character as Sammy Glick. Oh, Byron Glick. The Byron Glick. And what was he on the Bill Dana show? Yeah, he was the hotel... Yes, yes, yes. So Maxwell Smart was really an extension of that character.

14:31Yeah. He was doing that voice. Yeah, he was. This, I remember the Bill Dana show. Yeah. And that... Bill Dana was on our show, too. Oh, yeah. In fact, the only episode that Don was not in, as far as I know, Bill, Bill Dana played the role that Don would have played in that, with me. Oh, wow. It was kind of neat. It's going to suit some middle of summer. I mean, it was great. He glue everything. Now, I think you said, and he was also terrific on the show. Oh, he was fabulous. But it plied. Oh, Ed. Ed plied. Who is the chief? Oh, he was a marvel. You know, it's interesting that, although Ed wasn't out front as starring in the show, his anchoring of everything in reality, because he was such an honest actor, and he brought such gravitas to it, and yet he had the comedy timing as well.

15:31He was invaluable, invaluable to the show. Yeah. You're a great straight man. Yeah, oh, yeah. That's what people forget about. You know, well, I think so many straight men are like that. They're ignored. It was like, yeah, Ed plied was great at that. And their reactors a lot. You know, they feed, and then they react. And to be able to play of someone who's as clownish as Don Adams was on that. And bring it down to reality. Yeah. And you, but you said that he was, it would drive from crazy, like the kind of comedy on there. Like, I guess maybe Don would add lib or fool around on the show. Oh, try to drive Ed crazy. Yes. Oh, Ed had the worst dialogue to say. All of these, you know, the supersonic murder, you know, and he had to just spill it out.

16:34And Don would make bets that he wouldn't be able to get through it. Of course, Ed was nervous. Right. I mean, any actor is because the last thing you want to do is to hold up production because that's what it's all about is getting it done fast. Forget the acting. Get the words out and let's move on. And Ed would have these long, complicated, technical things to wrap his tongue around. And then Don would say, okay, bet's going on. And of course, Ed would, he would get flustered. And it was, it was a little mean. But yeah, now Don Adams at that point too, at the, he got very famous. And that was a major hit show. And I think he then came down with like a textbook midlife crisis.

17:37Oh, yes, you know, Don wrote an autobiography that I believe his daughter was going to have published. I read it. He sent it to me a number of years ago. And I was so impressed with the writing that it was, it was so beautifully written. He was really a good writer, not just a good comedy writer. And in it, he talks about that. And so I feel that I can say, I read there. He wanted to publish it. Yeah, that he kind of hit 50 and put on bell bottom jeans. Leather jacket and began writing poetry. And, and you know, went off with the lady. And yeah, he was, he was complicated. I remember you said in an interview that he went to Europe with his wife, trying to get their marriage a little back together. And then in the middle of the trip, he made up some story to his wife

18:41that oh, they just called me from LA. I have to shoot a commercial. And he just flew to another part to like Greece or something where he flew his girlfriend out. Oh, I don't remember that. Yeah. But it would be in the book, I'm sure. Yeah. You get an interesting life. I mean, things people don't know about him. He was a drill instructor. Oh, in the army? Yeah, he was a drill instructor in the army. He was in the Pacific. And he almost died from something. Yeah, from the black water fever. Right. And he says in the book, I don't know if it's, if it's an exaggeration. But I would, I would guest from the tone of the book. He's being fairly honest about everything. He said they put him over where the dying people were because they were just going to leave him alone because they were sure that he was gone. And he survived, obviously. Yeah. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast

19:41after this. Now, now, I have to hit this part of the story. When you were a young, a struggling actress slash model, you applied for a very odd job. Yes, I grew up in a family that my father was very determined that I would become an independent young woman. And I was doing fine for about a year in New York. And then suddenly, I couldn't even get a 10th job. I don't know why. And I needed $33. So I called my dad. And he said, you know, I think it's time you grow up and figure a way to support yourself. And actually, I thank him for that now. But the next day, I looked in backstage, which are backstage, right? Yes, still around. Yes, still around, sure.

20:42And there was an ad for a stripper. And I thought, I thought, well, I can dance. And so I showed up. It was someplace way over on 11,000 viewers, like 40s, CD, Aryan. I got all dressed up. I had a blue a-line dress on and high heels. And it had a white Peter Pan collar and a little red tie that streamers went all the way down the front. Wow. And I wore a little hat. And I wore white gloves. And I found the address. And it was like an old, tacky, the backstage of this place, this stage door. And it was like an old garage or something. It was just old, grimy. And there were two guys standing by the stage door.

21:43And one was very short. And he had a stubby little cigar in his mouth. And the other looked pretty much the same. And so I thought, okay, that, so I walked up and I had backstage with me. And I had it all outlined. And I showed the man. And I said, I've come to apply for this job. And the guy looked at me. He looked. He looked from my shoes to my hat. And he said, get out of here. Probably thought you were working under cover to buff the place to something. What kind of hat? Oh, probably at that time it was a little clip-on thing with a little veil, probably just over the eyes. Maybe a little tan overdressed. I think such. Like you, you addressed for... Secretarial kisses. Yes, yes, sure.

22:43You're going to tell them how many words you can tie. When were you a contestant on the $64,000 question, Barbara, when did this happen? Uh, that happened in the late 50s. And I was working as a showgirl. See, I did have some experience. Do you have a poll? It's hidden in the closet, but I take it out, secret. We should say that we're in Barbara's beautiful townhouse. So, um, what was the question? About the $64,000 question, which I don't think a lot of people know about you. I was working as a showgirl in revival of the Ziegfeld follies. And one day, um, they gave us a test to see just a PR thing. You know, to see if a girl with a showgirl can have where feathers and have a brain. And they asked us, this is Jupiter's question. It's like, which is smarter, a mouse or a chicken. And we were all cheating there about...

23:45Copping from each other, which do you think? And then it was published in the New York Times Magazine section with our leaky photographs. And somehow, it was decided that I got a hundred percent, which does not make me popular in the dressing room. And before you knew it, the $64,000 question, it called and said, we'd like her to come in. And so, I just brushed it off. I mean, I knew I wasn't an expert on anything. And I wouldn't do it. But I had recently met someone who I fell in love with. And he said, but you've got to do it. You have to. I mean, it's good publicity. You're an actor or do it. And so I thought, okay, well, I'll go talk to them. And before I went in, I thought, you know, one thing I could do, probably. Because I always had these kind of projects of like

24:47going all the way through James Joyce's Ulysses page by page over a period of 18 years or something. And at that time, I was reading King Lear. And I thought, I'm going to read straight through all of Shakespeare, which I didn't do and still haven't done. And so I thought, if I got a complete works of William Shakespeare, I could probably memorize enough useless information that maybe I could get through one of the first rounds or something. So I went in and I said, you know, if you give me three months to study, I can, I'll just cram all this trivia. And they said, that was a really neat idea. And they would give me a test. And then they'd see, I mean, make sure that I didn't just totally embarrass everyone. And so that's what happened. And then I went on the show and I, yeah, eventually wanted. How much did you win? 64,000. Wow. Wow. On the subject of Shakespeare.

25:47Yeah. And this was in the show, when the show was very popular. Yes. At that time. Yes. You know, before I forget, and this goes back to something we're talking about before with Don Adams' height. But just for people in the audience, when we were setting up at Barbara's table and I was sitting down in the chair, Barbara gave me a cushion. Extra cushions. Extra cushion on the seat as a booster. So she could see me over the table. I feel like Billy Barney. Billy Barney was on get smart. It was a very high table, though. In all fairness, it's an extremely high table. Now, what was I, oh, you, a sight when you were on get smart and around and afterwards, it was like the height

26:55of variety shows. Yeah. And you did every one of them. Yeah, I did a lot of them. That was the most fun of anything I've ever done in my life. Because you rehearse three days and you get to do silly sketch comedy. And then you go on and you have fun and it's over. I remember you on laughing in those days. Yeah. Yeah. I did the first five laugh-ins. Mm-hmm. Yeah. With George Lauder. Yep. Was that fun? Oh, it's wonderful. Yeah. I loved it. So was you and Goldie and Lily Tomlin and Arty Johnson? Yeah, the whole first wave. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What are the variety shows that you do back then? Oh gosh. I did Dean Martin several times. Now, you worked with both Martin and Lewis. Because you did Jerry Lewis. Yeah, special. Jerry Lewis, special. Who was on them? Yeah, I did all of them. The Smothers Brothers. Well, Carol Burnett was on the end. And Cesar did a special. And oh gosh.

27:55The Glenn Campbell. Wow. Well, there are a lot of those summer, those summer replacement series. Like you see those summer variety series, the short runs. Marty Feldman. Sure. I did that series. I remember that show. In England. Do you remember any one of them in particular to work with? I mean, Dean Martin was just a dear experience because she didn't rehearse with him. He rehearsed with a surrogate. And then he just came on and sat down just before you were going to shoot it. You didn't even do a dress rehearsal with him. And then he came in and he read cue cards. And I don't know if he'd ever read them before or not. And then your chore, it was hardly a chore. Your pleasure was just to come on and try to break him up. Or, you know, just have fun. He was just like this doll that you were just going to play with.

28:57And I love that. And he had, even though I never had a conversation with him, there was a spirit he had. There was such a sweetness about him. And such a warmth. And I just remember that. I remember how lovely it felt to be out there with him. And you're not aware of the camera at all. It's just you and him and just having fun. What did you do sketches? Or did you do a little singing? Sketches. And yeah, I sang and did a little dance number since. Yeah, I remember with Dean Martin, it was always like the charm of the show. Well, he always pretended he was drunk out of his skull. And the charm of that show is that he didn't know like you could see he was reading. He made no. Yeah, no, no. And that was the fun of it. Yeah, you're right. Oh, he was a deer. Yeah. Now on the opposite end, now Jerry Lewis, you worked with? Yeah, um, I just did a sketch with him.

29:59You know, I didn't really have any, you know, interchange with him. He was, um, he's kind of a loose cannon. Oh, yeah. I remember that. I remember being nervous before going on because the director came back and said, you know what, you rehearsed with him? And I said, yes. And he said, none of that is going to happen. Something else will. He didn't tell me what. So it was an adventure. And what, what, what was some of the other shows you did? Oh, wow. You run the man from Uncle Man from Uncle and Flipper. Oh, Flipper. Oh my God. You did do your homework. 12 o'clock high. Yeah. With Robert Lansing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and Prof. Encourage and oh well. So you're on the past. Let's talk about now. Let's talk about you, Gil.

31:00You are also in like a really interesting dark comedy called Smile. Oh, that was so nice. Yeah. Michael Richey, who had, he did several films all in his own. Downhill racer. Yeah, the candidate, Gilbert and I are fans. Bad news bears later. Yeah, but he made some he made some dark comedies in the 70s. He did and he really made social satire. And there was the combination certainly in Smile, which is about a beauty pageant that he actually had been one of the the judges of a year before we did the movie in Santa Rosa, where he shot the movie. And he saw all the possibilities of it. He saw he saw the absurdity of beauty pageants, but he also saw the kind of with a sort of an nostalgic eye,

32:00the American thing of it, you know. And so he with another writer wrote the script and we went up there and it was quite a sharp satire of these people in Santa Rosa. And I was very uncomfortable when we were making it because I thought we were making fun of them. And they're all excited that we're here, but they don't realize that this is, they're going to come out looking foolish. And actually I was wrong. They did not look foolish. It was endearing. And that was, that's what made him an artist because he had, he could work with ambivalence and work with layers. And it was a very rounded picture. And, and yet, you know, a parody. And you played a very cold, calculated, you were Brenda, the pageant director.

33:01Brenda with a stiff hair and a wind would blow me away before the hair would move. And it was so easy to play. It was just scared me how easy it was to be evil. You know, it just came so naturally. I've been holding it back my whole life. A very hateful character, you know, just manipulating everyone. She, in very mean to her husband, but when I was playing her, I was totally on her side. I mean, her husband was alcoholic and kind of, you know, she was annoyed. Now, was your husband Bruce Dern? No, Bruce Dern was a card dealer. Bruce Dern was the card dealer. Who's also? Remember who played my husband? Yeah. Our, our, our correct research team here will look it up. Oh, thank you very much. Nicholas, someone nice. Oh, Nick, yeah. Nicholas, what was his name? He was in that, oh, he's funny, funny character actor. It'll come to me. He was a wonderful actor. We should say that Jerry Belson was that other writer from the Dick Van Dyke show and the odd couple.

34:03And he, he wrote a movie that Gilbert and I like, called the End. Bert Reynolds, Peter. Oh, yes. Tom Deloys. Yeah, you're such a movie buff, though. Yeah. Both of you, obviously. And... Dara is showing us Nicholas prior. Prior. Like played Andy, who was the husband? Nick, please forgive me. But it was a long time ago. And what was Bruce Dern like to work with? He was amazing. He, he, Bruce Dern, how do I even describe this? You've never met him? No. He has a gift of words. And an ability to put the syntax together in a kind of startling ways that just keeps you thinking that you are listening to literature when he talks. And I don't mean in any pretentious way. It's just a creative way that he had expressing himself.

35:05So, what I remember mostly, I mean, I only had a couple of scenes with him. What I remember mostly about Bruce, I liked him tremendously as a person, was just the enjoyment of hearing him speak and the originality with which he expressed himself. And the other thing was that I think he was about 42 at that time. I'm not sure exactly. Or, and he was, I think, training for the senior Olympics running. Or maybe, you know, forget that age thing. I think his pulse was 42 because he's been running so long. Literally, it lowers your pulse and that he had this very, very low pulse because he was such an assiduous runner. You know, it's funny because he's funny in that film. And you don't think of Bruce Dern with comedies. You think of him in Westerns and fan the Hitchcock movie family plot, things like that. It was very funny and smile. Everybody was. People get a niche. Yeah, the movie was, I think, very, very charming.

36:08And special movie. And, and you work with Dick Van Dyke? Yeah. I love that film. Fitzwilley. Fitzwilley? Yeah, you want to talk about it a little bit? I, I, it was, it was the first movie I did. I remember I was very nervous the opening scene. And he was very, very cordial and very, very nice person to work with. It was done in a very kind of professional way. It wasn't like nobody hung out together or anything. Not that I've ever had that experience in anything I've done. But, um, yeah, it was, oh, I know what was really fun. We were working with Dame E to the Evans. And when we were also impressed, the first day that she came on the set, we didn't know what, how to address her and and. The very famous Shakespearean actress. Yeah. Oh, she, oh, God. She grew in awe of her.

37:09I mean, here, we were just doing these comedies. And there was Dame E to the Evans. And so the director then went to her and said, how would you like to be addressed? And she said, she said, oh, oh, oh, yeah. She said, just be casual. Just address me as Dame E to the. It's a really strange plot that film. Gilbert, do you know Fitzwilliam? I haven't seen that. Dick Van Dyke is a mutler who's running scams and schemes to, basically, this woman has no money. The woman that he's working for, she hasn't really inherited anything. And he's pulling off heists so that she can live, continue to live in the in the style she's accustomed to. And Barbara plays the secretary who shows up to help her with this very bizarre dictionary for people who can't spell. Yes, and then tries to kind of tries to blow the whole thing. It's a real screwball comedy plot. The kind of thing you'd see in the 40s.

38:11And yes, you're right. It does have that kind of quality. And McGiver was in it. John McGiver, that's who I was just about to ask you about. Because he's one of my favorite character, I guess, is, you know, John McGiver. Someone else for listeners to look up now. Yes, he's probably most famous from Midnight Cowboy. Oh, yes. Yes. Because of these boys, that's a strong buck. That's all just these spray, spray with me, Joe. And Norman Fels in that one too. Oh, my God. Another Gilbert Gottfried Fels. Another one, one of mine. Yeah. God. Yeah. Because they don't have those great character actors like they used to. No, you know, that's true. Is it because why is that? Films are independent films now.

39:12They're not studios putting these people in many films. Maybe, well, it's funny. Just a few days ago, we interviewed Adam West. Yeah. And he said he was in the studio system, and he loved being in the studio system. A lot of them complained. But back then, it was like, you had them, and you go, OK, you, you'll be the cop. You'll be the gangster in the scene. And they worked all the time. Yeah. So he had a job. So there was no downtime. They just... He worked constantly. I mean, he was telling us he must have made 10-11 failed pilots. I mean, before Batman showed up, and then plenty afterward. But into the studio system, he worked constantly. You also made a TV movie with another one of Gilbert's favorite actors. This actor comes up on almost every one of our podcasts, and that's Burgess Meredith. Yes. Oh, right. Oh, my God. You did a movie called Getting Away From It All.

40:14Oh, my God. That thing wasn't even written when we were shooting it. Oh, that was one of the worst television movies ever. And now I want to see it. And with that wonderful cast. And I have never, if you asked what was my favorite thing, I forgot. Filming that terrible movie was my favorite thing I ever did, because Larry Hagman was starring in it. And Larry showed up. We were shooting at some mansion in Los Angeles. So the first morning, we show up for work. And in comes his, he had this just big van, I mean, a van, like a moving van that was all decorated inside, like a posh's, his wife is a marvelous artist. And she would create these amazing environments for Larry to be happy in. So we show up and he's got tents on the front yard

41:15and a front lawn of this house. And they have big cushions in them for everybody to kind of lounge on in their champagne constantly. And I mean, I don't have to drink, but there was. And Larry was the most delicious human being to be around. He was just endlessly funny and playful. He was like, just this kid, he just played. And yeah, like, yeah, like you. I didn't know that. Last week you were compared to the Penguin. And this week you were compared to Larry Hagman. Yeah, I had a great honor. Adam West told me I would have made a great Penguin. That to me was the biggest thrill of my career. Do you have an imitation of a Penguin? Other than. And that's pretty good. Yeah, because I mean, I love Burgess Meredith as the Penguin.

42:15And also of Mice and Men. Oh, I didn't see that. Oh, well, we can't talk. No, we can't talk about it. We were over. That's it. I'm sorry. Before we move past, Vivian Vance was in this TV movie with the Angiambacus and Burgess Meredith. Yeah, so it was a neat cast. We had a lovely time. Yeah, and we went and we know him in our location. Non-the-Pacific Ocean. And yeah, it was nice. And it's funny, because Larry Hagman, another one who's became famous later on as J.R. Like this totally hateful character. And he was a complete opposite. Oh, my God, yes. He was the most generous soul in the world. And you know, you just love him. Yeah, I mean, that was just no way around it. I did a couple of projects with him and just enjoyed him. But boy, could he talk fast?

43:16And I remember doing some television movie with him or something. And I came out on the set. And of course, you don't rehearse. You just learn your lines. And then they say action and you start. And then this speed thing came toward me and these words, the velocity of them, just about blew me over. And then I speak like this. And then I remember when I was a kid watching TV, because they used to show it a lot then. I started to know Larry Hagman as the son of Peter Penn. Oh, yes. Yes, very important. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. He was great in comedies. Larry Hagman really had a really had a gift. A dream of Jeannie. Yeah. He did a short live series called The Good Life with Donna Mills, where they played domestics that he was very funny. He's the one. Remember that one, buddy? Nope. I'm stumping everybody.

44:16But he was very good in light comedy. Yeah, he was exquisite in everything he did. He was so competent that it just was over the moon. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast, but first a word from our sponsor. The all new 2026 Toyota RAV4 is here, building on everything drivers know and love about Toyota, with a redesigned look and modern tech that makes life behind the wheel easier than ever. The new RAV4 comes standard as a hybrid, providing smooth, efficient performance for both city streets and longer journeys. Enjoy the legendary reliability Toyota is known for in the all new 2026 RAV4. Learn and shop more at toyota.com Toyota. Let's go places. And you worked with another actor that Gilbert and I like to talk about. Ted Bessel. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, why is that?

45:16Oh, I used to do a whole bit of like some movie starring Ted Bessel, Georgie Jessel, Jacqueline Bessel. And with Bessel. And with Bessel, with Bessel. Dr. Frankenstein. And I was a teenage Frankenstein. Do you do an impression of Ted Bessel? No, I wish I could. No, I spent all my energy on my McGuy firm. It was worth it. It wasn't able to master it. I heard Ted Bessel was a beloved person. Yeah, he seems like a nice guy. I didn't know him well. Yeah. And Lee Grant was in that movie called What are Best Friends For? We're going back through your whole career. Oh, my God. And you're bringing these up. Those cards are dangerous. I mean, I'm not thinking this is like this is your life. This is a Ralph Edwards. That's right. This is your life. I'm not going to remember this person. Yeah, I do. Oh, I loved working with her.

46:18She's very nice. I met her several times. Oh, she's very nice. I worked on an award show with her. And she was incredibly sweet. She couldn't be. She couldn't be nice. I heard, you know, really. We have to put her on the interview list. Yeah, she'd be good. And you stayed very close to Don Adams to the end. Yes. Strangely, when we were doing the show, Don and I only met on our marks, you know, when we were ready to, when they said action, I looked at Don and he looked at me. And that's mostly what our, you know, our rap horror was, was as the characters. There was a very, very sweet, companionly thing on the set. But he was totally preoccupied with the show. And I really stayed out of the way. And then when the show went off the air, we never had a closing party or anything

47:18because we got the news over the telephone from CBS, individual calls, and that was it. So I didn't see Don again for 19 years until we did a television movie get smart again. I think it was called. And we met then. And it's so funny. It was like planning a seed. And then the seed has flowered. You didn't know the seed was there under the ground. And then you see each other. And then there's this blossom there. It was like, oh my god, it's you. I mean, it was like we were never close during the series. And suddenly we were like long lost lovers. And we had a nice time doing that. And then later on, Don and I had an opportunity to make a couple of appearances together commercially, like in Las Vegas promoting something or other. And then there was really a bond, very, very satisfying

48:21sweet bond. And I felt very complemented when he called me one day and said, I've written this book. I want you to read it and tell me we think. And I know his daughter, Stacey. And his first wife is a lovely, lovely woman. And he stayed close to her always. That was really the great love of his life. And I think he had a daughter who died. Sessily Adams. Yeah, she was a casting agent. I know that because I worked with her in Los Angeles on a sitcom. She was a lovely lady. Yeah, how unfortunate. That's a shame. Yeah. Let me ask you a couple of things about Don's catchphrases. But I think people that I think people would want to know. You know, it's so funny at that time period, those catchphrases from Get Smart, everybody

49:21would say, and other shows would say, I'm as a gag. It would be on t-shirts and everything. Yeah. We're sorry about that. Yeah, and loving it. And loving it. But you put in your book title. Yes. A little bit of it. The Being Alone and Loving it. Yeah, where did they come from? I mean, were they from his act? Were they things that he came up with specifically for the character? I am trying to remember. I don't know that I ever knew that. I know that some of them did come from the outside. But I don't know if they came from back or from things Don had done before. There were about five of them, right? Yeah, five. Sorry about that. She missed it by that month. But you know, you should have Buck Henry on. Oh, I really knew. He's on our list. And he knows all this history. He's on the list. I didn't know. I mean, everyone's always asking if 99 had a name. And finally, I went to back.

50:22I was sure she did not. And he said, no, she didn't. And he said, and her number. At first, they thought they would name her 100. So because she's perfect. But then they said he didn't feel that was a girl's number. So he named her 99. But I would imagine they came up with 99 because of the rhythm of it, 99. To say, look out 100. It's not as easy as look out 99. And Don Adams also had that thing where he'd have like a big tough guy in front of him in a scene. And he'd go, OK, you know, yeah, big gorilla. And he punch him. And the guy wouldn't move. And then he'd go, I hope I wasn't on the line. I'm going to be sure. What is armor on it? It was also the ridiculous when something, when they trot out some really absurd device, or gadget, of the old inflatable hand in the couch trick.

51:25That's the third time I've fallen for it this month. It was so smart. And the others. Oh, guys. The silliness, really, that makes it so much fun. And they would have something also ridiculous like that, like say a giant pistol. And they'd go, that's the largest pistol I've ever seen. Second line. Second line. Yeah, there was a, I know, in the first year, there was something on an Indian reservation. And there was this huge arrow. I mean, it's already that one. And he said, second biggest arrow, I've ever seen it. Really funny. I was doing the research today. I never knew the actor who played Larabee. Robert Carvalos, am I saying, right? It was very funny. Was Don's cousin. His cousin, yeah. Which I never knew. Oh, yeah. He was the guy hiding in the garbage can. No, that was the guy hiding in the garbage can. They catch him. They catch him, yes. Right.

52:26Larabee was the goofy guy who worked for the chief. Yes. Who could never do anything right? It was Don Adams' cousin, which I found out in doing research. Yeah. Great stuff. And Jane Dulo was very funny as your mother. Oh, she was, yeah, she was very good. Everybody in the cast, Dick Gaudier, Gilbert and I are fans of as well. Oh. That played Jaime the robot. It was brilliant. The way he did it. Absolutely brilliant. And Wilburney Capel. And Bernie Capel. Oh, we love who we love. Zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig, zig. Yeah. Smart. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, he's like notsy working fur, chaos. Oh, I asked Bernie recently what his favorite role in his whole career was. And he said, zig, zig, zig. He said it was the best role he ever had. I remember as a kid, I always loved when he popped up in an episode. Yeah. He was a great favorite. And Don Adams won three Emmys for playing Maxwell Smart, and Larry

53:28And Larry Storch was telling us, and I know they were old friends. In Gilbert and I interviewed Larry. Do you remember this? He was saying how he lost, how he agarned lost the Emmy to Maxwell Smarty. Oh, yes. But he was just happy that it stayed in the neighborhood, because they both grew up on the Upper West Side. Oh, that's nice. Together. So, and you were nominated as well. Yeah. For that part. A couple of times, yeah. It was a very, very smart show. What did you, I have to ask you? What did you think of the, did you see the Steve Carell and Half-A-Way movie? Could you bring yourself to watch it? Yeah, I did. I went late one night, because I didn't want people stopping me when, you know, in the theater saying, oh, wait a minute. I am a great, great admirer of both of those actors. And I think they did a beautiful job. I think that the piece itself, I think, worked as an action-adventure piece. And I enjoyed the movie tremendously. I was completely engrossed. And I think they were marvelous.

54:28But I don't think you can take it out of its time frame with the innocence of those characters. And put it in, I mean, it said Gatsmart, but that was about all you could really associate with it. That, in my mind, but I thought it was very good movie. And I thought they were terrific. When I was watching it, you go through as a fan of Gatsmart, I was going, well, these aren't the people, though. No, yeah, yeah. Like, I love Alan Arkin. I think Alan Arkin's a brilliant actor. Oh, me too. But there was something about Ed Platt, not being there as the chief. Yeah, yeah. And also the rap horror between the characters of Max and 99 could not be the same, because women, when I did 99, it was before the women's movement. But the women's movement was already beginning to creep.

55:30It was beginning to move. And Betty Friedan's book came out just about that time, but we were just sort of fascinated by it. But there hadn't been any great action. And so women were still very much in the 50s mode of being the supporter of her guy, the woman behind the man. And yet, and this was the brilliance of Buck Henry and Mel Brooks, being artists, their antennas out there, they already sensed that women were becoming more powerful and more capable. So they incorporated in 99 a capability that I didn't even own at that time. I was much more, you know, retro. And yet, kept that respect for your man thing and affection, affectionate tone with your guy in it. But to do that today, you can't get away with that. You know, men and women don't relate that way anymore.

56:32And so they had to make 99's character, I think, more forthright, stronger, more survey. Sure. And that just wasn't, you know, that wasn't what 99 was. And I think, you know, Maxwell Smart was 86. And I think that was from the term, hey, well, 86. Yeah, it was, it was, yeah. Did you, when you're watching the film, this Steve Carell and Hathaway version, did you, did you, the first thing I thought it was not that funny? Yeah. And I wondered if that was a conscious choice on their part. It's more of an action film. I wondered if the director said, look, this is, there's no way we can't recreate Don Adams and Barbara Felden. That chemistry, what are we going to do? I think I heard somewhere, maybe an interview with Steve Carell that he, he deliberately did not want to imitate Don. And so, and I think that's true. But he's not even very bumbling. I mean, they play it, they play it pretty disappointingly straight.

57:33Yeah, he seems very competent. He's way too competent, Maxwell Smart. Oh, yeah, I, I don't remember the movie that well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, now you dodged a bullet, not being in Get Smart, the nude bomb. Yes. Thank God. Yes. We should explain. This was the feature, the first feature film that was made about the original. Yeah, about a year after we went off the air, a couple of years after we went off the air. Yeah, I think it was, yeah. Yeah, and late 70s. Yeah, I saw it in the movies. They jettisoned 99. Right. I mean, it wasn't, I did not turn down anything. So they didn't ask you to be in the movie. No, they didn't ask me to be in the movie. Wow, that's, that's an insult. I was surprised until I heard about the movie. I never actually saw it. But then I saw what they were doing. Because at that time, then I think they wanted the character of Maxwell Smart

58:36to be available to new-bile, you know, beauties. And so I think they had some, you know, shorter women and more filled out, and going more commercial rude with the sexuality. And I totally understood that. I remember seeing it and thinking, where the hell is Barbara Felden and Ed Platt? Oh, yeah. Ed Platt was gone, obviously. But the idea that they sold it on using the word nude, but there was no nudity. Oh, there wasn't. It was a bomb that was supposed to on dress, for sure. It was close. Yeah, it was, it was that kind of weird thing because it was out around that time when nudity was big and sex was big in the movies. It was starting to get really big. And, and now you got this movie called The Nude Bomb, which you didn't see any one day. You know, and Vittorio Gosman was a very strange heavy. Oh, yes, but you did send up your character

59:38on an episode of Mad About You. Oh, yes, yes. You played a character spy girl. Spy girl, yeah. Yeah, you know, I was uncomfortable doing that. I didn't, I didn't see the script before I did it. I mean, now, I mean, it was fun and people like the episode and it's fine. But 99 was just such an innocent, and spy girl was such a... She was just sleeping around. I don't know, it just seemed... If they hadn't put me in those go-go boots, I probably would have felt better. Now, now you also, they also tried to surprise get smart. Oh, yeah, that was a mistake. Oh, my God. Oh, fox did it, yeah. Yeah, with Andy Dick as your son and as...

1:00:38Yeah, as the, yeah, as the, our twins. Yes, yes. We're going to be the new spies, and we were going to run the agency. And we knew after the first day shooting, this was a mistake. And I remember Don saying to me, we were both very uncomfortable. We could see this was not going to work. And he said to me, look around the studio. This is, this is maybe the second one we did or something. He said, look around the studio. He said, do you see any network people here? And I said, no. And he said, this isn't, this isn't going to even get on the air. You know, this isn't, this isn't going anywhere. So don't worry. It's going to be okay. Because he said, if this were, if there were any excitement behind this, it would, the network people would be right here on the set, you know, being part of it.

1:01:39But he said already they've abandoned it. It was notable in the sense, though, that Getsmart was a show that was developed by ABC, moved, picked, done by NBC, moved to CBS. Yes, that's fine. And then this one was on Fox. So you really, so you covered every major network. Yeah, that's right. The show got around. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever been on a quiz show? You're fantastic. Wow, I am so intimidated. I mean, you, and I'm depending on you to come up with these names. Then I hear another obscure TV movie. I didn't, I'm thinking, oh, shoot. I'm not sure, remember anyone in the cast. Tell us about the book you wrote, too, with that had the little Getsmart pun in the title. Oh, yeah. Well, a few years ago, I've always written, and I'm just, because I loved to write, but a few years ago, a friend asked me to do a seminar at a seminar center, and I couldn't,

1:02:40I was trying to think of a topic as a, as a, as a favor. And then I thought, you know, I've been meeting so many women who are without a partner, and they think they're leading second-rate lives, and they, you know, they're miserable. And, and I, at this point, had been through this long psychoanalysis, and I was just happy, and I was on my own, and had been living alone for quite a number of years. So I decided to a lecture on how to live alone, and enjoy it, you know? And then when I got down with the lecture, I thought, oh, this is a book, and I gave it to an agent who had been sort of pursuing me for something. You know, she said, if you ever write anything, let me know. And she said, I can sell this, and she did, to Simon & Schuster. And so it ended up as a series of essays called Living Alone and Loving It. It's, it's, it's, it's a guide to relishing the solo life.

1:03:44And I loved writing it. It's really my philosophy about living. It's not just about living alone. It's about your interests, and the broadness of your interests, and the, the, the inner search to know who you are, reaching in, and then also reaching out to other people, and the value of friendship, and I, and the value of curiosity, and enthusiasm, and, and education. I mean, I think that actors should be the most educated, sort of class of people, because they're out of work so much of the time they could be studying history, or, you know, doing something interesting. Something theory. Yeah, but, um, yeah, I loved writing it, and it got published, and it's still around. It's, it's, I'd like to read it. Now, with, with, I just got married two months ago. Oh, we know what it's like. Stay away from this book.

1:04:45Now, now, with Frank and myself, one of our favorite songs of all time. Oh, you're not. Yes. Oh, no. Yes. Yes. Are you going to sing it? Uh, I, I, you, you know it better than I've been 99 song. Oh, my God. Putting her on the spot. Okay. Do you know the lyrics? No, no, I, I've heard it a couple of times. It should be buried, you know? Yeah, too bad. When not letting you off this one. I heard a hitman. Sing in your sexiest. God. 99 points. That was, you really want me to sing that song. Yes, absolutely. I don't know if I can remember the lyrics. Okay, can we, can we, maybe we'll take a break and you I'll try to remember. I'll try to and, and, and maybe buddy can cue me, aren't you? Buddy, can you cue her?

1:05:46So, okay, okay. This is the hardest interview I ever do on the live end. That was the idea. Okay, I'm exhausted. Okay, here we go. Okay. So you think you see a pussy catch? You'd like to catch. You start to come on strong to see how far you'll get. You feed the pussy catch some. I'm a tiger line. You don't know that you're a messin' with 99. Yes. Thank you. I will spare you the five other stands. Did you sing that in a one-woman show? Or did I get more bad for this interview? I did that as as a joke at the beginning of the show, a show called Love for Better and Verse that had lots of poetry in it. So I started with that song and I said that was just as popular

1:06:50as it deserved to be. It was never released as a single. Actually it was, but it didn't, you know. Well, take that, Miley Cyrus. Yes. Well, okay. Okay. I'm sorry. We haven't talked about your performance. But when you and I performed together. We, yes. Oh. We did sort of work together. I'm not sort of. We had a scene together. We did have a scene together. Yes. Wait, wait, yes. Let's start with... How did you forget? No, because I was thinking the first time we worked together was a sort of work together. What was that? An ASPCA public service announcement. Oh, my God. We worked separately together. Yes. I was, I was a dog in a cage. You were a dog wanting to be, you were a dog wanting to be adopted. Going, me, me, me. Can you do it in my voice?

1:07:52No, I don't think so. No, try a Gilbert Gottfried voice. Okay. No, no. I'm too shy. Okay. Me, me, me, me. Yeah. In this commercial. What, I probably did some very lady-like like ASPCA. Yes, yes. A kind-hearted organization or something like that. Because I remember they had it, you know, like a point of view of the dog, like just with the bars in front of it. And I like ad-libbed. And the dog was hitting its head on this thing. Yeah, it was shaking so hard. And, and then a real kick in the ass is that commercial got an award for best writing. Like the two writers got awards for it. And, and then the ASPCA.

1:08:53Someone from that called me up and said, we want to present you with an award for that commercial. And I was, I was felt honored. And, and I said, okay, I'm going to be out of town that day, but, but I'm, I'm honored to get that award. And they said to me, well, now only if you can show up at the event, you get the award. Oh. Yeah, yeah. It was like my payment for showing up. It was probably a doggy dish or something. And then we worked together again with someone we just interviewed, Danny Ayello. Yeah. And the, the last, the last request. The last request where we were in, we were sitting together in a diner. You were a homeless person. Eating, eating off of my plate because they ran out of plates in a diner. And yes, we were sharing a plate, sharing a fork.

1:09:54We shared a fork. Yes, we shared a fork. We were intimate. Yes, yes. We actually, how many people you've shared a fork with? Yes. See, now, now I can honestly say that Bob Reffelt and then I exchange bodily fluids. Yeah. It's true, but I was a little miffed when you wiped yours on a napkin every time I used it. We had, we had fried eggs. Oh, yes. You shared a fried egg. Yes, we, we, we, he's in out of many people's plates. That was not a first. We shot it in a scenic New Jersey. Yeah, scenic New Jersey. And the, and it was never, that movie was never released or even arrested. Well, we've been talking to the lovely Bob Reffelden, lovely and talented Bob Reffelden, who's also, you can out before I end it totally.

1:10:55You became like the queen of voiceovers. Oh, no, not nearly, but I did a lot of voiceovers. Yeah, I did lots, but during a certain period, which actors love to do because they're over so fast and you can, you can get them right. You know, you have, as you know, you can play around with it just within a few minutes and it's not like doing a whole performance where you miss a lot of the target you're aiming at. And yeah, I think actors love it. And you don't have to have your hair done or put your eyes on it. I'd like to add before we go that Barbara's the first guest that we've had that ever fed us and put food out. Yes, she, she served us lemonade and nuts and grapes and cookies. And that's never happened. Oh, well, we're not used to be treated as well. Oh, thank you. No, you should be treated better. And I hope I, I hope I accept the standard. And I'm totally impressed with both of you, although I'm exhausted with your knowledge.

1:11:58Yeah, Danny, I yelled it didn't give a shit. Did you get water? No, he didn't come in with a bag of potato chips for it. Oh, he came to you. Yes. Well, do you, do you didn't offer him anything, right? No, that's true too. But we've been talking to the lovely, beautiful, and talented Barbara Felton. I agent 99 from Get Smart. Thank you, Barbara Felton. It was a dear pleasure. Thank you both of you, Frank. It was great. Wonderful. Thanks.