FU Friday: Tony P vs Ron — Ugly All-Out War

0:00Chiching, that's the sound of Lowe's Labor Day savings. Get up to 45% off, select major appliances, and save up to an additional $100 on select laundry pairs. Plus, get three bags of MiracleGrow.75 cubic foot garden soil for just $10. Labor Day deals are on now at Lowe's, in store and online. Valet through 9.9, while supplies last, selection varies by location. This podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. Last year, I went through many different life changes. I needed to take a pause and examine how I was feeling and the inside to better show up for the ones who need me to be my best version of myself. When you're navigating life's changes, Talkspace can help. Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatry providers that you can access anytime, anywhere. Living a busy life, navigating a long distance relationship, becoming a first step

1:01father, Talkspace made all of those journeys possible. I could speak with my therapist in the office, I could speak with my therapist in the comfort of my home, I was never alone. Talkspace works with most major insurers and most insured members have a $0.00 copay, no insurance, no problem. Get $80 off your first month with promo code Space80 when you go to Talkspace.com. Match with a licensed therapist today at Talkspace.com. Save $80 with code Space80 at Talkspace.com. But after you just keep on coming, I know you all, you got any FUs? Yeah, I got plenty of FUs, bro. Tony Pete just texted me, he's like, hey, man, I have another last minute FU. I got to walk my dog right before we go live. There you are in the Bronx walking your dog instead of doing the live stream with me. What's going on with you, Tony Pete? Yeah, bro, it's called the wife life. It's called my wife points her responsibilities on me. This is her responsibility. She knows I get up every Friday morning and I do this.

2:01And you know, she decided that she forgot she had a doctor's appointment or her. A lot of didn't wake her up or whatever. I don't fucking know. You could thank glorious Steinem for this. No, you could thank fucking Jim and Anthony for this because they keep her up at night. She watches and giggles and wakes me fucking up. And now I have books. Wait, she watches Jim and Anthony at the build tonight and then because of that, she can't get up in the morning to walk the dog and then you can't do your job on the opium filter podcast. Correct. Correct, you believe this? Well, I got an FU. I don't know if you want to hear it. I got a sh- Listen, I'll have you. It might be one in the same, my friend, but you know something? Yeah. This makes for great entertainment. So look, we use everything to our advantage, my friend. All right. Well, where's the moon this morning? I know you have a problem with the moon and you get really confused when the moon's in the sky in a different location every day. Now, forget it. I get confused when the moon is in the sky when it's shooting the daytime. Yeah. I understand we've all been dirty. Stay out. Yeah.

3:01But the moon can't be a dirty stay out every night. Every night you can't be a dirty stay out. And what's up with it? They tell us that it's just like fucking like, why can you see through the moon? Half the time you could see through the moon. It's crazy. What do you mean you could see through the moon? You can't see through the moon. If you look at the moon long enough in the daytime, you could see through it, bro. Really? And don't tell me that surface. No, you're looking through the moon because what's behind the moon is the same color. You know what I mean? The moon changes color. Right. In the daytime. And then it becomes kind of like, I don't know. I'm sure there's some fucking explanation for it. And the fish guy's going to tell me it's the reflection of this off of the fucking pond. No. Because the fucking looking pond is green. That's what's happening. I have no idea. I just know that you sometimes you could look through the moon. First of all, fish guy photos is not going to explain it. He's a marine biologist. He knows shit. He explains shit to me, man. He sends me stuff. That's it, you know, your good friend who has the same audiology as you, Scott Watson. He's like, it's a reflection. It's just a reflection that you can't see through the moon. Tony Pay. Well, you can see through the moon. Hold on. Can I reverse the camera on this?

4:01No, I got to flip it. I don't know if you're capable of reversing the camera on this. Look, I'm in jail now. Get me out of here. Get me out of here. This feels like marriage. Let me get Ronnie babes on. Ronnie babes an unusual start because Tony Pete just before we were going to go live, his wife said, walk the dog. You son of a bitch. You don't have to run. You don't have to run. You don't have to run. Well, listen, in all honesty, in her defense, she just said, hey, I have my longed and go off and she's rushing into the shower. And the dogs just sitting on the fucking bed looking at me like, hey, walk me. So yeah, I had to do it. I did it for the dog. All right. So Ron, instead of married, go with us. I'll look at how cute the dog. Oh, Jesus. First of all, I'm thinking he has like a big dog, like a labrador or a big, a little bit. Do those dogs you have to do just fucking throw down a piss pad. There you go. Can I see the dog again, that cute dog? Let me see the cute dog. God, where are those lightning strikes when you need them? Dude, is your dog artistic? You're already open.

5:02You know how many people hate you? You know how many people told me, I fuck that guy. I hate him. He don't like pebbles. Fuck that guy. All right. So listen, no, I like people hate O.B. No, no, no, people first of all don't hate me. I'm so adorable and lovable. It's insane. You were mother Teresa. Yeah, I am Ron. Thank you very much. I appreciate you like, like you have no idea. No, I just don't like your breed of dog. I love dogs. No, man, you like dogs that look human. You're a dog out of hair cut. You understand my dog don't need a haircut because my dogs are dog. You're a dog out of hair cut. You got to think that you're a dog. Hold on, Tony, hold on, Tony, make beyond to something because O.B. is dog because it's because of allergies is actually hypogenic. O.B. Dog actually has human hair. Thank you. Yep. He does. Yeah, that's a little weird. That's like somebody. Yeah, weird. You're a dog came out. This is a pond outside my house. If you want to see what lives in there. Goldfish. There's like six goldfish television. No fucking thing. There's no goldfish there. There's no goldfish there. There's no goldfish there. Show us. There's no goldfish. Show us. Are he dipping into his horrendous pond outside his house?

6:05Yeah, there's the goldfish, Ron. Is he the goldfish? I never doubted you, Tony. Ron did. Yeah. You understand that? Go screw. Now I got some dirt on my knee. By the way, I got to do this thing with no shirt on. That's how I pay the rent. Because one of the. What? Are you getting into a fight with someone? I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. What? Are you getting into a fight with somebody outside? Someone else is sitting out in the towel. I got to hear that. Hey. How you doing? Mr.T. We shut up, Ron. You're in the middle of. What happened? My wife just ran down the stairs and nothing but a towel because she thought I was getting into a fight outside. She thought I threw the dog inside and was fighting with somebody outside. Yeah. No, that's just my friends. Yeah. That's just these two guys. I'm on the podcast. Yeah, we're in the middle of, uh, we're, this is the last, uh, episode from the beach. And, uh, what a start. Cody P walking his dog. Oh my God. No other podcast. That's not the start. The start is we've got to see a woman wrapped in a towel.

7:07Yeah, we did. Right. I see the woman wrapped in the towel. And now she's hiding. Oh, oh, oh, don't, don't show me. Oh, that would not be a shame. I got to do this with a shirt on because I promised, huh? You, she looked good with her with only a towel on. Tell it, tell it. Tell it. Come back. It looks fucking fantastic. And I'm waiting. I'm waiting for the towel right now, but I'm sitting here talking to you two mooks. Right. And, and Ron wants her to come back out. Where it runs creeping on your wife. No, I'm telling you in the super chat. Everyone wants to see Tony's hot towel wife. Well, they got to see the hot towel wife. All right, Tony said I'm so to do some show today. Right, Tony's setting up. It's, uh, F. Friday, that's Ron Burmick comedy on all the socials. That's my friend. Comedian, Tony P, Tony P, uh, comedy on all the socials. And here we are. The last episode of summer and it's after you. I gave her a picture. Lauren, come here. And I'll come over here and walk nice and slow, nice and slow. Walk.

8:08Yeah, we want to. That's a baby. Oh, holy. Okay. You got to show it. Tony show it. So when his, um, Haram, he's got a. Haram. All these things. Tony P, she passes the no makeup test, by the way, holy shit. Of course she does. A lot of girls can't pass the no makeup, uh, uh, uh, test. By the way, that's true. They can't pass that. She, your wife passes the no makeup test. By the way, you know, love passes it. Pamela Anderson. Dude, she looks, she's still a smoke show. Just when she, which no makeup, she, dude, she, she looks like one of those hippie girls with a hairy armpits that smell like patchouli. No, you're, no, you're wondering where our eyebrows went. She looks, no, she wouldn't have been so much hot. I actually not done anything to her face. Right. She looks transparent without makeup. Now, she looks like, oh, by the way, we learned today around that, uh, Tony thinks that that we see through the moon. We actually see through the moon. I'm not telling anybody what they doing. I'm telling you what I'm doing.

9:08If I look at the moon and I could see through that motherfucker, I can throw. All right. There you go. Oh, he said, wait, before we start, Tony goes, uh, I made a promise to take my shirt off. What's going on? Oh, somebody in the chat, somebody in the chat said, oh, I want to see Tony, Tony, we know shirt on or whatever. So I told them Friday, tune in and now I'll have no shirt on. Well, that's, uh, we made five dollars because you have no shirt on. So did you get, did they give you money for it? Did you get a super chat? No, but her name is sexual therapy. So I figured, why not, bro? I mean, guy from Dubai. Well, let's get started. It's FU Friday. I got the first one right here. It's coming into the screen. It's coming into the screen. Guys, you're not going to believe it. The weight, the weight is over. Howard Stern returns. Oh, yeah, not, not, not this week. No, no, no, no, no. He returns in a, in 10 more days. Howard Stern, the weight is over. He returns in 10 more days. Who the hell has been waiting for Howard Stern to return so he can do once a week?

10:10Who? Not me. He's afraid to be who has waited all summer. So this guy could come back September 14th, by the way, most people come back right after Labor Day. Oh, not Howard. I need another week of rest. Then he's going to come back just to do one day a week. So when the weight is over on September 14th, Howard Stern's going to do a show. And then you're going to have to wait another week for the second show. Then another week after that and another week after that. No one Howard. Hey, Howard, no one has been waiting for your return. If you come back, they might tune in. Oh, yeah, Howard. All right. That's cool. But no one is on the edge of their seat waiting for you to return to do one show a week. My God. Me. There you go. That's how we, well, we already started with that. We've already had a couple of FUs. Come on. This is a, all right. I got another FU because you guys are just sitting there dumbfounded. I got another FU. FU to this idiot. FU to this idiot. Yeah, it's a visual.

11:11I apologize for the people that, you know, the people that listen to these on a podcast. That's you, Ron. Ron decides he needs to send me this picture from Coney Island yesterday. That's what you're a monster, Ron. You're a monster. No, my FU is camera angles because I look like a bagel bobblehead. Look at that. That's what the penis is. Do you understand that? When a woman looks up, if a woman was blowing you, which wouldn't be when the guy that's blowing you looks up, that's what they see. Bro, that's not a good thing. No, you got to know your angles. I would never take this, this shot. I would never take this shot. So I have no issues with it. They're saying that. They're saying the picture is epic. My wife looks like that on top of a bagel. All right. What's on it? My wife just gave me an FU. Yeah. Her FU goes to me for scaring her. That's great because my FU went to you for making me walk the dog. And by the way, tell your wife the reason you, she thought you were fighting is because you got angry because we didn't believe you had goldfish.

12:14Yeah. That didn't think I was going to make a fun of the pond. Well, the pond is a little lame. I'm not going to lie to you. It's a little lame. Yeah. Well, when you're fucking behind, wait, wait, wait, tell me what? Yeah, because you're pulling that millionaire bullshit on me. Oh, you're fine. You don't have a pond. You got a whole fucking ocean, bro. No, I wasn't over about. Yeah. All right. I have an ocean, but I'm not bragging about it. The point is, you're bragging. You're bragging. No, you're bragging. No. You're bragging about me. You thought it means my pond is shit. It is. Well, it has a pond. You really don't have a pond. I would never have a pond like that. How about that? I even if I, if I had no money, I would be like, you know what? I don't, I don't want a pond in the front yard like that. That's weird. Well, how about the pond came with the house and I really had no choice because my wife picked out this house. So if she wanted that beat, if I wanted to be happy, I had to make my life happy. So we had a living in this house with the fucking pond, bro. And I'm the one taking care of the fucking pond all the time. And I don't want to take care of the fucking pond. I want to fill the pond with rocks. Why don't you fill it with rocks? Again, I got a white. Why is he next? I've got a white. By the way, how many goldfishers was there?

13:14What was there more than one? Okay, the story behind that pond is when I bought the house, there was, there was coalfish in it. And it started turning green. I didn't know what to do. I put some shit in it and I boiled. I cooked all the coalfish. Oh my God. And then slowly but surely the neighborhood kids from the fairs, they would win the little goldfish and they would just start throwing goldfish in the pond. So that's, you know, those guys have been in there for about two or three years. I would think. All right. Well, I hate to do nothing. And the birds come, they drink, the squirrels come, they drink. A dover tool has committed Harry Curry in there. You know, they killed themselves. It's a sanctuary. What about the raccoons? The raccoons, they come out at night, braw, I'm sleeping. I don't know. I told you I missed a thunderstorm because I was sleeping. I sleep in the thunderstorms. Hold on, speaking of thunderstorms, my next FU. I'm already up to three or four FUs. You guys have done any or that was your first FU. What? Oh yeah, you did have an FU. All right. No, that was your first FU with the thunderstorm from last night. Uh, you were saying that shit from when we went out, but I was outside. All right, fair enough. McDonald's is putting value back on the menu.

14:16Whether you're craving a Big Mac, McNuggets or sausage egg and cheese McGrittle's, make it a meal and save. Your favorite is now your wallet's favorite to extra value meals are back. Get a big something extra with a Big Mac or 10 piece McNuggets, fries and a medium Coke all for just $9 limited time. Only promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing. But, uh, I'm gonna get front of stores. My next FU is to this dummy. This dummy that everyone feels sorry for. I'll play the video and then we'll talk this dummy. My FU is to this. dummy. Here it is. And it's still alive. Yeah. And then he walks and then he walks to back back to the door with this. What happened? We're talking about a guy in Staten Island. A guy in Staten Island got hit by lightning and you might say,

15:18Oh, why the fuck would you give that poor guy an FU? I'll tell you why because he was outside with an umbrella during a thunderstorm. No one does that. Have a wooden umbrella. Huh? Have a wooden umbrella if you're going to do that. Well, no, you got to understand if there's thunder lightning in the area, you got to get wet outside. You don't go outside with the umbrella. So that's that's my FU. Look, look. Guy is walking. You're delighting him a double tap. I know. I just, uh, you know, is that smoke coming on? Why smoke coming off of his back? Huh? Was that smoke coming off of his back? Apparently the neighborhood smoke like chicken. It smells like chicken. And then the guy walks back. He walks back to his wife all days, the confuse. I want to happen. He's okay though. We can make fun of him. What? That's not what happened. That's how super hero of the happened. So what happened was is he got struck by lightning and was out and he was screaming for help.

16:24All right. And that he wasn't near his house. The next door neighbor dragged him into the fucking house. Guess what? The person who dragged him into the house was a woman. Yeah. Getting the key to the city today. She's getting like the medal of honor for being for being a heroic neighbor. And he was like, by the way, he didn't get certainly injured, but he was in incredible pain screaming. This woman dragged him in like, like it was a D day on the show as a norm indeed. Well, I wasn't the area on your FU. I was in the area guys and I was going to help. But I waited a step or two. I waited because I didn't want to be too involved. But in my heart, I was like, I'm going to help this poor guy that was just struck by lightning. And I stutter stepped. I wanted to assess the situation and then another lady got to him in time. So I, you know, I felt good that I was thinking about helping and I walked away all nice. Or it would have been my team of the city. It would have been my men. Women are so helpful. They are when old ladies fall in New York, it's always a woman.

17:25I mean, I'm there. I'm there when the old lady falls in the city. Trust me. I'm there. I'm thinking about it. I feel for her. I'm like, what can I do? But I always wait just a step or two because I know someone else is going to get to her before me. And then it doesn't ruin the next few hours of my day, but I walk away feeling good. Cheers. Do you really walk away feeling good? Do you walk away? Say that I couldn't have done more. No, I walked away saying I got away with it. I don't have to get my fucking hands dirty. No, not in my mind. I was thinking I'm going to be a good helper here. That's why I feel good. I know I have it in my heart to help. And if you stall just a little bit, someone will get to the person before you. You feel good. You don't care of that. I was waiting that hour for Jim. Man, instead of like her wandering around trying to figure out who she's going to call. Let me get that for you. Oh, let me get that for you. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. All right, who's got enough you? Let's go. Brazilian nuts. Hold on. Sorry. I can't let this pass. DJ says OP certified hero certified hero.

18:29You know, it was a guy named whistle to. No, no, no, no, no, no. He's one of bars. Don't make fun of the whistle to. Now, you know what the music? Give us the food fighters hero. Can you do it? No, I can I can be your hero. Baby. Yeah, I can keep so away. Nothing. By the way, if you think about it, how many by like there's a million songs about love. But there's quite a few songs about hero. Doesn't David Bowie have one? Yeah, heroes. We can all be heroes. Here you go. That's for one day. It's not like why you doing. Call us to it. To a side step. I wasn't a hero for one day. I was a hero for two days. Yeah, for you. I asked for two time hero. I had aspirin in the house. Don't forget that's how the summer started aspirin in the house, saving a heart attack victim. Two day here. And then last summer, it was the kids in the rip tide. Two day hero. So I can't sing the David Bowie song. Man, thank you. You want me to keep going back to it? Because I got a million of them. I got a million. Brazilian.

19:30Remember I was telling you my problems on Monday. The issues that was happened. My personal. I traced it back to Brazilian nuts. Brazilian nuts is as messy with your Heine that made you. Yeah, well, if you eat too many of them, they fuck you. You're in it's up and shit. Now I have a hemorrhoid and then my wife gave me kimchi, which blew out my fucking colon and gave me a hemorrhoid. So fuck kimchi and fuck Brazilian nuts. Dude, you got like the little balloons coming out of your anus. Like a little. Yeah, like the little. Yeah, you got the. Yeah, it looks like the. It looks like the bubble wrap where you could pop it. A horrible, bro. It's the heart. It's the worst. I didn't know what a hemorrhoid looks like. Ron. I think it looks. I. I. Close encounters. I've taken biology classes. I've taken biology. Clive. I've seen pitches. I've seen pitches of uteruses because of biology. Clasps. I'm fair enough. I said, pick the colon. I think it's also the side effect of paying the rent when you're late. Oh, I got another F you.

20:30Push it in a little bit. Tony Earbox. Because this is a big F you F you to gas prices. Look, I'll even I'll even put this out there. I'll put this out there. It's 425. This time last year when everyone was getting away for the. It was $3.13. So it's over $1 more this. This Labor Day. Who do I blame? Look, I'll say this way today. Who do I blame? Listen, who do I blame that? It's 425. A gallon. I have a question when it was 3. When it was 327. Did you give him his props? He was still president. Correct. We're talking about right. Fucking now. Like little who gives a fuck about a year ago? What do you mean? What are you? What are you? Right now. What do you mean? Who cares? Are you going to bring up Biden again? Again. Now. I'm going to bring up Biden. I brought up Trump. I can do. I didn't bring up Biden. I didn't bring up Biden. I'm not going to do it. You don't know. And then you're going to throw it up for a little bit. You don't drive. Why are you concerned about this price? Because it's up to me anyway, dude. I guess prices mean high prices everywhere.

21:33Bro, I put my money in double the cost. It's double the cost. No, it's not double the cost because it's 1.7. So if it's 4, it's all this paying 1.27. It's double. 3.27. That's not double the cost. These are educated. All consumer goods, in trucks and semis, are transported by diesel trucks. Right. Farm equipment, diesel. That means more than it's built as a farmer. More trouble for the truck drivers. Who pays it, Tony, at the grocery store? The average man. Do you know how to do mathematics? Do you know how to do mathematics? No. Because the other more is not double the cost. Diesel has doubled since the war. OK. And by the way, Jets deal has gone up 87%. And where is the coffee transfer to? Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.

22:33What's your point? You're putting in. You're going to pay the market call and you're going to move on with your day. That's your pin. This guy says that I'm trying to help you, Tony, a little bit. I think you said gas prices were double. I just said they went up a dollar. And I didn't even blame Trump, by the way, Tony. See, that was a little exercise right there. A little exercise. Can I say one thing, please? Can I say one thing? Quickly. Yes. This Labor Day is the highest gas prices in the history of America. That is a fact. This is the highest gas prices for Labor Day ever, ever, ever. That's a fact. OK. And in 1974, you could buy a brand new car for $5,000. So what are you talking about, bro? What are you talking about? Everything is more expensive than 70s. Make no sense. A pack of cigarettes is $20. You're sitting here complaining about gas prices. You had your fucking mind, bro. Are you having your mind? By the way, you don't need cigarettes to drive to work. You don't need cigarettes to get a thing. You don't need cigarettes to work.

23:33You don't need cigarettes to work. You don't need cigarettes to work. You don't need cigarettes to work either. By the way, the reason cigarettes. And stop complaining. The reason cigarettes, the reason cigarettes are $20 is called a syntax. There's not a syntax on the gas. Give me paying 40% of my money to the fucking government. So they could do absolutely nothing. Is that Trump's fault, too? Is that the Republican's fault? It's the fucking government. All at the same side. You're a fucking idiot. Stop talking. Tony. Just because you read books and can memorize stuff. And they gave you a piece of paper. Tony and they said here you're smart doesn't make you smart. Tony. Caveman you called me a caveman yesterday you called me a caveman. Yeah, I was watching. You called me a fucking caveman. You know what caveman did? Caveman thought caveman invented fire caveman invented the wheel. You know what guys like you do? Rebook about the caveman who did shit and do nothing but send your basement complaint about gas prices. Are you trying to tell me you drag women around by the here? I just trying to tell you that just because somebody

24:33gave you a piece of paper from Northeastern Northwest and I couldn't give a fuck doesn't make you educate. You are all over the place. I literally all over the place right now. That's true. I love this more than life itself but I gotta tell you Tony. I said a trap and you and you step the thing. Tony you are literally you're schizophrenic right now. I didn't blame Trump. I didn't say anything about Trump. I didn't bring him up. I didn't like the Trump. Oh you brought him up. You didn't remember bringing him up. My FU is that gas is 425 in the New York area. This labelling. Last year it was $3.13 and how you brought him up by the way because I'm smart. I got the critical thinking. You said well did you thank him when it was 313 last year. So that's bringing up Trump. I didn't break up Trump. And what did I say after that? I don't know. Because I pay the fucking price and then I go to work. Bro you can't you can't go through life saying who gives a shit. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It's an easy way out. I know what I do. I know how I live. I don't look at the gas price. I look at the total.

25:35If my total yeah if my total is $43 as opposed to $36 I paid that extra price because what can I do? I still got to get the work. I'm not going to sit there and worry about the fact that I got to pay an extra dollar a gallon. You understand? I move about my day. I'm trying to think about it. And Tony I'm on your side because I'm hoping we get rid of the the Kathy Hoco. Fuck that big story. I hope it's because I'm moving back to New York now. Do we have a shot of getting her out? She's the governor of New York. I'm hoping. What do you mean you're moving back to New York? You're still in New York bro. You're in a lot. I don't feel like when I'm out here I feel like I'm on a tropical island. I don't even think that I'm in the New York area and I'm not even joking. I forget that. This is part of New York. All right. Let me go to Roger Chambers. He gave us $10. Thank you very much. Rod Rodger. Can you put a price on freedom? Rod? Can you put a price on freedom? Rod? 425 is a small price to sleep better at night. Oh my god. That motherfucker has drank the Kool-Aid. Congratulations, Mr. Jim Jones. Fuck. You're drinking the Kool-Aid. You're

26:39fucking just you're literally the sheep going right to the wolves. Are you serious, bro? Are you serious? It's all worth it. So I ran to that nuclear weapons. That wasn't the issue to begin with. You know what? This is what I say. If it means gas will go back down to, I want it under $3 down by the way. Get everyone out of Iran. Let them have all the nukes they want. As long as I pay less than $3 a gallon, I'm good. I'm good. That's what I think. Let them have nukes if it means cheaper gas prices. Cheers. Are you the new price line negotiator? All right, Ron, you got an FU? We're halfway through the goddamn show. I haven't even done an FU yet. I know, we're all waiting. We're waiting for your FU this week. What is it? Here's my quick FU. Because of the high price of gas prices and the high price of diesel and the high price of jet fuel, all solely on the squares of Donald Day Trump because he thought he could go into Iran and do a

27:43quick little Venezuela. We are in such a fucking head. My FU. We can't open up the straight of Hormuz and it is a fucking massive problem, not just here, worldwide. How is it to affect us in our backyard? It costs. Diesel is how goods are transported across America. Diesel prices have gone up almost 53% since the start of the war. Those prices have to be passed on almost like a tariff to the person purchasing it. So now the department store is getting this, by the way, it shows you it's like it's like an added almost thousand dollars or whatever because of diesel prices. And then they don't absorb it. They want the profit. So who pays it? The customer. It trickles down. Hey, if you're forced to fly because you have a job and you can't drive,

28:45how do you afford it right now? Jet fuel is up 87%. What do the airlines do? Do ticket prices have gone up over 50%. Let me tell you something, bro. No, no, but then you say you pay and get your money. It's a step. And how will foreign you are one of the heavily taxed people? Okay, and it has nothing to do with the federal government. It has to do with the state government. I don't understand what you say right there. We're talking about a big portion of my check goes to New York State taxes. You live in New York State. If I were to live in Florida, that portion wouldn't be taken out of my pocket. It would still be in my pocket. So what are you talking about? What do you think? Do you think that any of those taxes that are on fucking gasoline? Why do you think gasoline is cheaper in New Jersey than it is in New York? Do you think that's because of federal taxes? What do you think that's because of local state taxes? Why don't you ask right now

29:45in New York? I live in a Democratic state. What's the gas right now in New York? I live in a Democratic state where in a Democratic city where my mayor wants to pay 10 times more than the regular supermarket to open up a fucking supermarket. What are we talking about here, bro? Go ahead, blend Trump for everything. But if you can't see past that, you're an idiot. No matter how big your forehead is and no matter how big you want to make it, how much bigger you want to make it by putting it near the screen to show me. Look how big my brain is. Now hold on, hold on. By the way, Tony, and you opened up the door, not me. This is exactly what Magna-Benz. When I started talking about how they started, they started talking to you personally. And then they bring the party up. So were you about me, round up? Run away, Tony. You wild yourself up. I don't have the ability to wild you up. You're a Democratic man. You have control of your own. You have control of your own. Democratic state. I don't have the ability to. You get a model up. That's like you, brother.

30:46That's all you. You're a grown man. Control your fucking emotions. You wild me up. I talk about gas prices. You fucking brought Trump up. Not me. And for you to say, I just pay it and move on is ignorant because other people don't have that ability. And then they have to stop making choices. Do I fill up the tanker? Do I fucking buy groceries? Do I fill up the tanker? Do I get my prescription? Do I fill up the tanker? Do I pay for childcare? It's not so simplistic. Pay it and just move on. I don't have time to think about it. I don't have children. Why am I paying for other people's childcare? Because I live in New York State and New York State taxes me so they can have free childcare for people. It's very simple, bro. It's very simple. But I got to shut my mouth and pay that tax. So the same reason I got to shut my mouth and pay that fucking tax that I have no responsibility for. That I'm not liable one fucking percent for. Appreciate cost stuff. Free. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What if you decide what happens? What are your children are dropped? Then you get those benefits.

31:47I don't want that. So I don't want to partake. Why is it still taking out of my check? Why is it delegated to that? Why don't I have say? Tony, can I just ask you a question? Because the caveman actually knows something. Tony, just ask a question. How would that work? How would that work? I don't know. But when you're not in the room, shush. How would that work though? I don't want to pay into childcare. All right. Listen, listen. By the way, look, you're the one get I am calm and careless. You're the worst up, bro. I don't say much. We have a lot of money. You went to school. You think you're smart. That makes no sense. You call me a caveman. Tony, but you call me a fucking you. Don't run. Take me away. You draw the line. Are you fucking crazy? Where I draw the line? Take me as my red line. Are you fucking nuts? You're getting in your fucking chair with your shirt off with your change. You look like a fucking caveman.

32:48Thank you. Listen. I don't even know what we call Tony a caveman. I guess this is all about us. I don't even fucking remember it, but apparently that's too much. Exactly. That's too much. Caveman. Watch this show. Hey, can you. I'm so intelligent. Can you make me a flyer? Because I don't know how to use a computer. You see what I'm saying? I don't know the type of person. You think I walk around going. I went to this school and I have this degree. I never thought it was. You don't do it that way. You know who I want to keep talking about my higher education, which is pretty impressive. This is the best. I know it. You don't know nothing. You've been sitting in your basement. You don't know nothing. You know how I know? Because you're complaining about gas prices. This is a perfect time for the next FU. My FU is to choose everyone's shoes. I'm with, I jump on board with that one. All right. Because I haven't worn shoes in three months and I've got to move back to the city to get the kids

33:52into school and all that. We're packing up the whole beach thing and going back to New York City. And my FU today, it's perfect after that long rant. FU to shoes because I don't know how to wear shoes. I haven't worn them in three months. I'm with you, bro. I don't want to wish you was ever again in my life. All right. You guys calm? I have fucking calm. No, you're not. Yeah, you were turning red. I'm not going to sit here and say you were calm either. No, you were born. I actually have come. I swear to God. I'm fucking good. Oh, cheers. Let's give a cheers. No, we can calm down. I have a club. No, you're not. No one's calm. All right. Fucking calm. There's only one thing. I can't stop, bro. There's only one thing that costs more than, uh, guess. Right now. And that would be your pumpkin spice latte. $7.50. Starbucks is added again. And I did the numbers actually. Starbucks is crushing it with the, uh, the pumpkin spice latte.

34:55Absolutely crushing it. You guys are right. Are you going to be all right as I find my notes? Because I forgot to put a lot of screen. What are you talking about? Huh? All right. I'm glad I'm here attacking anybody. Starbucks pulls in over $100 million annually from the pumpkin spice latte. A hundred million dollars. That's why they do that shit. Can you believe it? And I said you don't believe it? You know why I believe it's so expensive? Why? Because Trump put a 50% terracotta coffee. We don't grow coffee in America. My coffee at Dunkin' Donuts always spends out. Dude, I just bought a packet of Starbucks coffee. It was 18. It was, it was 20 bucks. I know. It's 10, coffee is $10 more now. You want me to get that? It used to be like, it used to be like $11.99 for like the Starbucks French rose. Right. It's fucking 20 bucks now. You want me to get that? We don't grow coffee. We, we, we, we're stuck. There's a 50% terracotta on coffee. You want me to get that? But I just pay for it and just don't worry about it. All right, Ron, how about you? Well, listen, listen. It's going to be very calm, cool and collected because I buy my coffee from Dunkin' Donuts.

35:59I buy it in a one pound bag that they sell it. It used to be 10.99. Now it's $11.99. So there goes your hack. You don't hack the ball by $20 Starbucks coffee. You can buy a pound of coffee for $11.99 in any Dunkin' Donuts. All you got to do is walk in and buy it. Don't shake your head. I'll bring you on with your show. You're gonna make it. It's worth a dollar more. That's what I'm saying. I'm from Boston. I live on Dunkin' Donuts. It's fucking worth more than that. What, Ron? What is it more expensive, bro? What is it more expensive? Everything's more expensive. Why? Because we're idiots and we allowed it to happen. We've allowed it as a community of American citizens. It started with us throwing fucking shit on the river and saying we ain't paying fucking 1% for our tea or whatever the fuck the tea tax was and your people did it. They did it up north and fucking Boston. And here we are. We got comfortable to the point where we're back here to block the tea. 40% of my money, take 40% of my money outright just because you're entitled to it and have me and Ron fucking yell at each other.

37:01All right, listen, I want to jump in because Tony's right. Look, Trump didn't help the situation and that goes without saying. But this shit has been going on for a long time with everything going up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. And a lot of people thought that Trump would be the guy to figure all this shit out. And it continues just to go up, up, up, up, up, and up. That's what's going on in America. You can blame Trump now, sure. But certainly I blame Biden back in the day and a million other fucking presidents. But Trump was supposed to be our lord and savior to figure out everything and he hasn't figured it out. So now we blame him. It's time to blame him and then we'll blame the next guy. I'm going to give you a perfect example. I have, I obviously have my coffee, I have a coffee maker, but then obviously, you're also going to drink coffee when you're outside of the house, especially at the time you want to, you want a nice coffee. I probably buy, I probably buy at least five large ice coffees a week. Because of the 50% tariffs on coffee, there's no way to get around it.

38:01The only, the only homegrown coffee is in Hawaii and that makes up less than 1% of consumption in America. 50% is 50%. Duncan Donus isn't absorbing it. My coffee, my large ice coffee now is $1.33 more. How much is it? It's almost $5. That's just stupid. That's the only one I do. It's $1.33 more now for the same fucking coffee. Now add that up over a week. What do I do? Should I stop buying it? No, that's the result of Donald Trump. That's the one it is, bro. And then he just won a 50% tariff on camera. You're living comfortable. You're just waiting. Magic solutions made, Michigan. The number with 20 partners can't enough. I can't read that out of, can I read that in school? No, that works off then whatever. If your life's horrible, you work off, you're working a toxic environment, whatever the fucking case may be.

39:05You always have a choice to get yourself out of it. But if you're telling me that you have no money and yet you're comfortable enough, buy and fucking five ice coffees a week outside of the baking on your own, you know what this cost to me? This is $11.99. I buy a pack. It lasts me for a week and a half. That's what my coffee cost me. A dollar more. If you want to break it down, it cost me 10 cents more a day. You don't want to put in the work. Don't come up with money. You just said toxic environment. I've never, you complain more about living in New York City than anyone I've ever met. I live in a toxic environment. New York City is obviously toxic to you. So why are you still here? Because I live in a mortgage. I just thought of a talk environment. You are in a toxic environment. You hate this fucking state. You hate hotel. You're paying for the second. I don't understand why you're still here. And so you're still like. Go to Florida, bro. I used to like it when I was a Democrat. I used to like it. When I grew up, when I grew up, and guess what?

40:05When my father died and my mother was on public assistance, yeah, it was fucking great. I was getting the free shit. And I was thinking that I was entitled to the free shit. Of my family that told us day lives like you and thinks that they're entitled to the free. I looked like me. That's a different one. That's the same thing that you do. The same thing that you do. I know the same thing that you do when you do is you have sold the product. When you get on the road, Tony, you start attacking personally. Now that's low character. I don't attack you personally. I can't do a brother about you. Why do you start attacking personally? It's a bad ask. Okay. I'm going to jump in for a second. This would be a perfect time to let everyone know that most heart attacks start happening between the hours of 6 a.m. and 8 a.m. I learned this yesterday that that's when most heart attacks happen. 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. I just want to put that out there. And a few tips. So you don't have a heart attack between 6 a.m. When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you should do before you even get out of bed is drink a glass of water. I go and say that the edge of your bed for about two minutes.

41:05And before you have your coffee, you should have a little bite to eat. And you will drastically drop your chances of having a heart attack between 6 and 8 a.m. Back to you guys. Wait a minute. I don't think you're supposed to eat though. But one of the healthy things you could ever do for your body. It's a drink ice cold water like 16 ounces of ice cold water. A medium or that's not to be 16 ounces. But at least eight ounces of ice cold water. It recharges your body. What part of I said that did you not? I know I'm re-editoring. I do it. All right. There you go. I just want to let people know that we're in prime heart attack area right now. 6 a.m. So I just want to make sure my boys are all right. I'm in great fucking shit. You understand me? All right. You know why I'm in great shape? Because I read all those academic text on being healthy. And I just read it and it just made me healthy. I have to do anything. And I'm smart.

42:05so you're doing something you're seeing right now. I'm smart. Wait. You're saying you're going to do for that? You're saying you're going to do for that? You're saying you're going to do for that? You're saying you're going to do for that? Show me that picture of Ron's health. He had no problem. Ron said he's healthy. That's a camera angle. Let me go to exhibit line. This is guys 30 selfie. That's a camera angle. Sure it is. text me goes, how's the beach? He goes, so what are you wearing? I go send me a pick. Of course I said all that. Of course I said. I'm gonna, can I say one thing and I want to say calmly? Because honestly, Ron, I do love you. I do love you and I get crazy. So I had a long way, one of my FUs was work, but this is what I have to say and I want to bury everything. Okay. If you think of what you're saying, okay? You said that your ice coffee, right? You go up five times a week and you get ice coffee. Okay. Well, whether you're running, whether whatever it is, that's, that's if it's your guilty pleasure, whatever the hell it is, it is. Of course, two more. You have to understand, I come from a place

43:06where when my father passed my aunt instead of buying bread because bread was, I don't know, 33 cents a loaf or whatever the fuck it was, my uncle would make her make bread because she can make X amount of loafs of bread with that flour that she bought. So the way I grew up is if shit is tight, if I got to pay an extra dollar, then you know something, I'm not going to have the fifth ice coffee because in all honesty, am I a prince? Am I a king? Why should I have somebody making coffee for me? That's ridiculous. And we've gotten to the point where we can charge five, six, seven, eight dollars and then on top of that, they want to be tipped. And we think that's somehow okay. It's not okay. Whether it's because of tariffs, whether it's because of whatever the hell it was, I grew up in a dine-up. I used to sell coffee for 60 cents of fucking cup. The fact that it's over a dollar 50, even if you go to a deli, if you go to a shitty gas station deli now, a couple of coffee is going to be three dollars. That's insane. Hey, speaking of coffee guys, do you know that banana bread coffee is

44:08trying to knock out the pumpkin spice latte? No way. The banana bread coffee market is trying to take on the pumpkin spice latte market and more people are starting to buy the banana bread coffee. What's your thoughts on that? I got to push. That's the stupidest thing I heard banana bread coffee. Okay. Can I just give a quick analogy of what Tony just said? Oh, my God. Here we go. No, I'm being serious. I'm going to give it a death. You know what Tony just said? Yeah. He said the exact same thing Trump said. You don't need seven dollars. If things are expensive, two dollars. You don't need 10 pencils. You need three pencils. That's exactly what you just said. You don't need to buy your own coffee. You start making it. It's the same logic. I'm going to let it fix. No, because it's a different logic, bro. One is a want. One is a want and one is a need. If I want five ice coffees outside, that's a one. You don't need that to survive. You could just as well make this coffee at home. That's a convenient. Okay. What about the dollars

45:10in the pencil? That's what Trump said. Forget about the fact that you said it's a dollar 33 more. It is. Why the fuck was it five dollars in the first place? Is my thing? No, it's five bucks. Why is something that I was selling in the late eight actually in the 90s? In the late 80s and the mid 90s when I was working at a dinosaur, something that was 60 cents is now five dollars, bro. You understand? You can blame Trump. You could say, okay, well, it went from five dollars to six dollars and 33 cents. You're missing the, you're missing my point of why the point is five dollars anyway? What point? It wasn't five dollars. It's five bucks now. And for you to say, what are you talking about? Coffee was for you to say, coffee was 11 cents in 1970. It makes no sense now. Who gives a fuck about 1970? I wasn't even fucking born yet. So what does that mean? So, so, so what does it mean? My mind. You're going to get one of 1970 coffee. It can't be. To totally disregard every part of American history from the point where there was no taxes to where we are now, from the point where the

46:11fucking cup of coffee was 60 cents to where it's even if it's four bucks a cup, whatever the fuck it is, something that was 60 cents less than fucking, I don't know, well, that's 40 years now. In 40 years, 40 years. Yeah, but that's still a lot. Yeah, but when you remember candy bars were a nickel. Now they're a dollar 25. Well, yeah, okay, we get it. They get what I have to do with right fucking guys guys. I want to introduce you to lime. I want to introduce you to lime, everyone. I don't really give a fuck. I want to introduce you to lime. No, this is my lemon tree. We call it lime. That's my luck. That's what I tell you. Can I tell you something? What? If people are chewing again, they're not chewing back up. I'll tell you that. I was the numbers. By the way, how are the numbers? I don't know. I didn't. Hold on, bro. Let me take my blood pressure. It's not good. It's fucking 127,000. I'm fucking calm as a cucumber. I swear to god. And to summer, I want to introduce you to lime. My lemon tree. Get it? I call it

47:15lime. Wait, Tony, why aren't you looking at my my lemon tree? I'm looking at your lemon tree. You want me to show you my ingrown hair? It's not as cute as your lemon tree. What did he talk? This thing it rules. This is this was my whole summer beginning of the summer. Look what you guys have done to the dog. You've talked about it. I've had it up. It's a two later. I have a quick after you. By the way, I've never done my after you yet. I want to talk about lime for a second because it's the end of summer. I started my summer with a nice glass of very cold water. I put a little lime in it and oops, a seed fell in my water. I took the seed. I wrapped it in a little paper towel and I put it in my in my cabinet for about a week or so and then it started growing and I grew lime all summer. Last show of the summer. Look, that's my lemon tree, everyone. Are you taking it to the city with you? Are you going to leave it there or rot and die? Like you did that casserole or fucking sourdough bread. Oh my god, thanks for reminding me.

48:16It still smells like death in my apartment. All right, anyway, yes, you got enough for you, Ron. All right, here. By the way, this is literally my first half of you. I haven't done it yet. I lost a leaf. You know what open reminds me of like, Opie's trying to deflect like like you're trying to deflect from the Epstein files. That's what they do. This is like deflection. You deflecting from the Epstein files, aka Tony and Ronnie. By the way, Tony, I want to say this and I fucking me is from behind my heart. No, no, I love you, buddy. And there's no ill will on my end. And that's true. I love you too, Brian. Exactly. The fact that we go out and I love it. That's because we have emotion. We have passion. All right, listen, I think that crazy. Bullock. That's it. That's it. By the way, we are. We're able to walk away from this truly loving each other. That's the truth. Did you guys ever, did you guys ever wonder what Ron Berman's ball bag looks like? Here it is. Here's Ron Berman's ball bag. It doesn't have that much fuzz on it.

49:17I got a piece. I got props. I had a piece. I've asked. I had a piece of my testicle cut out once. They cut out a piece of my testicle. I'll show you the picture. I'll send you the picture. Look just like that. Why did you have a piece of that was a little thing growing off of it. So they cut it. Like a little hand. All right, man. My friend. My friend like a twin or something. I don't know. Here's my FU. All right, go ahead. Dude, I wanted to go so fucking bad. Here's my FU. I can't afford to go to the fucking comedy benefit show at MSG on 910. So they're having the 25th anniversary. 9-11 charity comedy benefit at MSG. All right. I wanted to go, bro. Ron. Dude, I can't even afford it. What the fuck? I know it's a charity benefit, but what about for like like you can't make it so the average person can also go? All right. What do you mean? That's because it's not 11 families. They're trying to do as much money as possible.

50:21And I know like the nosebleeds are like $250 a piece. They're trying to raise money for the families of the 9-11 victims. I ain't a scam. But it's MSG like every fucking. So right now I was going to buy tickets yesterday. Yeah. The very, very back. It's probably so back. You probably lose the top. 250. What's that? It's your whale bone. Yeah, it's my whale bone. Do you have a whale bone? Can't talk about that. And so if you want to pay 250, they'll look like fucking ants. And if you want a good seat, they're going for a thousand. Yeah, well, I understand, but like, we made the Sega Army with fucking the next set MSG. You're pricing out the average person, dude. So the average person can't also give some money and also enjoy. No, it's two, it's two different issues. Fuck the next. But the 9-11 benefits should try to get as much money as possible because it's going for an amazing cause. The victims families ride the victims families.

51:23They don't want to make it. They want to try to bring it as much money as possible. It's my hand. It's not tickets. A hundred dollars. No. I totally disagree with your total stuff up your game, bro. You got to become an electrician. You want to become a million. I should have done Tony. You have to come on electrician. Tony, you know what I should have done and I could have afford the tickets. If I didn't buy those fucking Dunkin' Donuts ice coffees. I could have gone to their show. You know the lineup? It's fucking impressive. All right, it's fine. We don't need to do the lineup. If we do a plan, we shouldn't, we should end the show for today. But you're going to go through the lineup of a show that you're not going to. Great. Bill Burr. I'm going to go. Pete Davidson. Oh great. John Stuart. Aziz Ansari. Nicky Blaser. Absolutely amazing. Thank you for the lineup. Thank you for the lineup of the show you're not going to because you buy too many ice coffees. Hey, can you do me a favor? Yeah. Your friend with Billy. Not really. Can you ring him up and get me tickets? I guess we're still friends. I haven't talked to him in a while. I'm not going to sit here and make

52:25believe I still talk to Bill Burr on the reg. But any final thoughts last show of the summer? I got a final thought. I'm going to break character. I had an amazing summer. I had an amazing summer in my family. My friends. And more importantly, because we're doing this right now, I had an amazing summer because of these two guys. And you add the Eric Marino. This was one of the best summers I had the live streaming every day. Only took one maybe two days off because I love doing this with these guys. Breaking character. Nothing after that. I want to thank Tony Pete Comedy. I want to thank Ron Berman Comedy. I had a fucking blast doing this with you guys this summer. That's it. I'm going to shut my mouth before I say something stupid. See? That was Tony's turn to say something nice. Yeah. Now you say something nice, Tony. Yeah, let's let's do this. Tony, you're turned. It's like Thanksgiving at the table. Tony. Although it may seem otherwise. You guys have not given me a heart attack. All right, 6-8 AM.

53:26I was the first to say I loved any of you. And you were 40. You were 40 at first. But that's what I bring, bro. No matter how crazy I am, I'm trying to bring you guys to my side. And my side is not Republican. My side is the human side. You understand? This, if you're going to blame one or what I'm trying to say, Ron, it's just going to blame you. Now you're not going to blame the rules. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, let me finish. If you're going to blame one, you have to blame the other. See what I'm saying? The prices of everything. If you're telling me that the comedy shows too much, nicks it too much, that's where you got to pull back and you say, well, if everything's too much, then everybody with that money has got to be on the same side. That's all I'm saying. Can I, I love you guys. Hold on. Can we all just point and laugh at this idiot? This is so lame. You're stupid. Hey, let me, let me teach the haters something. When a show is conrushing like it did today, that's not the time to try to throw your hate at the people doing the live stream. You dummy. This is far from lame you idiot. Ron, to you.

54:30Bye everybody. Have a good weekend. You have nothing nice. Oh, right. I forgot. Ron gets on the phone. It is a honor and a privilege to do this show from coast to coast with these two.