Frozen Cum Facials and a Saber-Toothed Twat

Spunk cubes. Vagina teeth. Prism paranoia. Just another calm Wednesday.

On today’s episode:

• A deranged Coast to Coast AM clip featuring Heavy Bird Jason, driveway heat systems, Hoover threats, and a host bravely nodding through total nonsense

• Prisms exposed as a possible government mind-control rainbow experiment contaminating our water, air, sun, and possibly your butthole

• TLC’s My Strange Addiction officially jumps the shark with daily semen facials, frozen “noobs” (nut + ice cubes), and freezer-stored baby batter

• A cosmetologist explains why three ounces of jizz a day is essential for glowing skin (science disagrees)

• Friends react in horror after discovering they’re rubbing another woman’s boyfriend’s frozen semen on their faces

• Preview of the next addiction: pheromone rubbing in coffee shops to repel strangers at record speed

• A woman attempts to return pizzas she already ate, films herself for TikTok, and is shocked this plan fails

• Uber passenger refuses to exit vehicle, is tased multiple times, claims her vagina bites, and prays to Elon Musk, Trump, and JD Vance for rescue

• Political slogans, simulation hacking, hobo wine confessions, and a PhD earned in “one singular year”

• New sex “research” reveals women love cowgirl, men hate it, men love reverse cowgirl, women don’t—butterface theory introduced

• Call for listeners to weigh in via voicemail and the 4HairyCunt text line so DV can publish its own peer-reviewed study

• Alaska student arrested for eating AI-generated art in protest of artificial intelligence ruining creativity (and lunch)

• Discussion of AI psychosis, fake art, fake outrage, and everything being a scam

• Voicemails from Freaks covering vintage melted plastic decorations, China stingers, offended Bible readers, and cursed rainbows

• Tim reflects on sponsors lost, jizz ads sung, and why putting effort into fake commercials is a terrible life choice

PLUS:
Listener messages, Patreon shout-outs, Discord love, voicemail chaos, and the usual reminder that tomorrow’s episode is Sideshow-exclusive.

🎧 Support the show:
Sideshow memberships, Patreon, listener sponsorships, voicemails, texts, social media, and spreading the distortion STD.