Ep 122: Manuals

Have you ever stood behind someone in the grocery store thinking they should put the divider between your groceries and theirs? 

Or thought someone should turn off their fanny pack music blasting down the hiking trail right behind you? 

Have you ever thought someone was watching too much TV? Not spending enough time with the kids? Following too closely behind your car on the freeway?

Yeah, me too. We all have. 

These are all examples of the “Manuals” that we are all walking around with, inside our heads.

A manual is an instruction guide that we have in our heads for how other people are supposed to behave in order for us to be happy. The really wild thing about this manual business is that although our brains tell us that everyone around us is supposed to be living up to the rules in our heads, we never show the manual to them. 

We are holding them accountable to it…but they never get to see it.  

Another wild thing about all of this is that the premise of our manuals is that we think we would be happier if someone else changes their behavior. This just isn’t true, or when it is, it’s true for a hedonistic hot minute. 

This causes us a ton of suffering, because we’re handing over the power of our happiness to someone else. But we can learn to see the manual for what it is, and we can learn to let it go. 

What you’ll learn in this episode: 

• How ridiculous manuals can be, via a pretty ridiculous morning story 
• Examples of the manuals we have for people we don’t know, friends, and even our very closest relationships
• Why manuals suck your creative energy 
• How different brains interpret the same interactions in oppositional ways 
• The single best thing we can do to increase happiness for ourselves (spoiler: it has nothing to do with how young you look or how much money you make) 
• A four step process to releasing your manuals for the people around you 
• Choosing compatibility in friends and lovers makes manual work lighter
• How laughing at our own manuals for other people can help us let them go 

How to connect with Marie:

• On the Web | The Local Bloom
• Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
• All Things Marie on LinkTree

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