Dave and Molly April 2 Envelopes

0:00We now return to the Dave and Molly show. We're getting ready for the envelopes of anguish and it's been a long time since we've done this so you had to you had to find the envelopes first of all okay so here's how this works will will be called upon to pull an envelope a random envelope will open it up whatever question is in there that's the one we have to answer on the spot okay you can't for you can't pass you can't say oh I refuse to answer to nervous I don't want people to judge me if I answer this way right you have to answer on the spot yes truth telling truth telling as always there's a I actually have the envelopes look at it see but there was also an envelope with some other possibilities and I think when has that oh oh there it is right there yeah look at people can see it on YouTube it's sealed so and then any of those could be in here and that's that's the beauty of it is that you

1:02just don't you just don't know okay you don't you totally don't know you don't know okay so what what are our possibilities that could be oh he's opening these envelopes he is really opening the envelope I know well he's never seen that's probably been in there a while yeah it's been a long time since we've done this it's true all right okay here we go these are questions that could come up it could be on there mm-hmm what color what hair color on a girl is just to turn off oh this next one boobs how do you like them wow whose fault is this government shutdown okay fair question good discussion points boy parts thoughts oh Molly I would like to weigh in on that ever that elephant thing yesterday what's your favorite thing about the current administration and true or false are religions cults and of course you might find anything in

2:09the categories of shockingly shifty sharts perfectly produced poop most marvelous mud making and two more here for you we've got potential of dramatic do-do deployment and ill tempered turd trauma okay those are just some of the possibilities right okay let's both pick our envelopes and then and then we can reveal one at a time there yes go ahead no I'm a little I'm gonna try and see if you have any right you don't know any of these two no I have no idea what's in there all right and I will pick I will pick this one I'll put it right there all right you're gonna go first do what's in there I refuse to answer no you said in the beginning we can refuse it says this I think

3:13should be for you what is it boy parts thoughts no it's no it has nothing I do have thoughts many thoughts it says how much are you gambling well that's a very good question and you're prepared to honestly answer this no because I know change the recent days it has changed well here's here's what I will say about about the whole gambling thing people say oh I never gamble or I don't do this or whatever everything we're doing now is just it there's gambling if you're doing a bracket yeah if you did a college basketball bracket technically you are gambling if you drove here today you're gambling well no no I'm not okay okay go ahead but for like for me you know like we talk about the casino so I like to do I used to just be a card player like I just used to play cards because I believed that I could will the cards in my favor that doesn't work that way but breaking news yeah but I liked the the physical a part of you know the cards

4:17and you know that that was always the thing and then I don't know if it was you or whoever but I then I just started dabbling in the world of slots blame it on me yeah well I think you had some other friends that you used to hang out with and watch them play but you didn't dabble but then you came over to my side yeah also the free play money that comes into yes well and I was getting free play for the cards but it's it's not a good not as good of a deal right so it's better to do have your free play in in slots so then I started doing that so then that so that's the thing then you have all of the different lottery games you know you've got there's a there's there's a game every night called match four right it seems pretty easy all you do is pick four numbers between one and twenty four pick four numbers win ten thousand dollars they're giving you money yeah seems pretty easy right yeah then there's the hit five okay and that's the thing that starts at a hundred thousand dollars and then it it builds if nobody hits it right okay if you get

5:19all five and it's it's gone over a million dollars before which is pretty good now the odds are only about eight hundred thousand to one against you so if it goes over a million then you know that's something then there's the lottery then there's the big multi-state lottery games the mega millions in the power ball so these are all wildly popular things they wouldn't have so many of them if they weren't so popular right and then um then I'm into all the talk about fantasy football most fantasy football leagues you pay to get in right Quinn oh yeah of the eight that you were in how many did you have to pay to get in every single one of them okay yep every single one's paid how many units does it cost that's my I literally set aside money for fantasy football at the start of every year so that's my little fantasy pocket I know needs to go towards my league fees happy it's the happy fund yeah exactly so that's a thing you're right and more and more people are doing that and then there is a thing and I just got an alert for it from two

6:24different things two different people running these leagues yeah where for the master's golf tournament they give you all that there's six different tiers of players okay and then you pick one player from each tier and then based on their performance you know you get points and then most points gets big prize one of them um last year I believe was over five thousand dollars for the big price and this is the thing that uh I think I told this story on the air so I'm I'm in that league and I think it was 20 bucks to get in whatever it was technically it is still gambling because you're you know you're putting money in well I thought well and I was doing great I was like third fourth fifth third you know kind of bouncing around the whole time I'm thinking top five get paid oh no oh no top three I finished fourth what's the lesson read the fine print read the fine print

7:24but then I got the new alert yesterday oh top five now get paid oh it's the day I just got I just got to repeat my performance but there's two different guys running those things so you so how much are you gambling well on everything is you're we're gambling on everything you can bet on everything you see and it's very fun it really is fun and it pays and it's entertaining and it makes you happy every time see here's the problem with these discussions you bring something like this up now all I want to do is leave and go to the casino um so and with the gambling thing because obviously I like to play the slots I always do a bracket so I'm going to do in that I will do scratch or tickets occasionally I'll do the regular lottery I'll do a parlay thing if I have something um I'm trying to think of yeah I agree the people who are like oh I don't I never gamble I'm just not a gambler well they're doing some kind of pool somewhere even if you go to a super

8:27party and you do the square yeah that's gambling yeah yeah and then yesterday my friend Todd had texted and we we have a long long golf history and he is a very he's in the world of finance so he's usually those people are usually uh fiscally sound like yeah very conservative with them anything yeah well um even with him we bet on golf we have and and it's a it's a one dollar bet oh yeah and so the dollar will change hands throughout the season so we're getting ready for our first golf round coming up still gambling gambling yeah totally yeah so it's just it's always something well I think that and and I like to see you back out in the world of you've had a couple of very good sessions yes it makes me happy that you're there that we're having the conversation that I'm not alone um we were having a conversation I'll never leave you alone no no yeah you need

9:28you need a you need a person out there we were talking about I was saying something about how when I get out there and I give myself a hard out and how I will push and push and push and then and then I start then I start doing little um I negotiate with myself and I think okay well if I leave it to I can get all of these things done I leave it to 15 that thing can go tomorrow I can do that tomorrow or I could do it after and I start thank you well how much time do I really have but when you first get there the world is yours and everything is great but sometimes if you have the whole day it's not good because then well I'm not going well and that was your whole plan you don't have an escape route you you got to you know and I think while everybody knows this time is a friend of the casino yes the longer you're there no matter how good you are

10:28over time you know they'll get you um yes take your strikes and get out yes and yesterday something happened at Northern Quest there was a major power outage where every single machine stopped working oh my god yes yes and I have it on not that I know personally but I very good very good resources in the middle of a spin the thing just keeps going and the whole place goes wow and at you every machine they said it was every machine so then they slowly start to go online and I guess there's an announcement that said uh you know we're having a power outage everything will start coming back online and then slowly but surely all the machines start popping back up again uh but I guess it's happened before but it's very very rare uh but that's one of those things that if that happens people might go you know what okay well it's meant to be I'm going to cash out and yeah not you though you say you're staying for the duration I would have stayed the course I was stuck it out so what happened and it it didn't mess up your money that you had eventually

11:34came back online yeah everything was but you know there's this moment where you think is this the apocalypse is there are there aliens what is going on is somebody scrambling them you know what is what is happening and it's just a power outage thing but it happens I guess but nothing bad happened just that but when you say time and it's senior day and so seniors are down there for the long haul they're looking for the drawings and everything and so maybe it was God saying dog you need to go home and then the other thing uh parlay's you know and now Quinn loves loves the parlay I think that's the way to go I was talking to a friend over the weekend and we're talking about baseball betting because I had a uh parlay on the mariners you know to win and then total runs be over seven and a half so we're talking about that and then he was saying because he likes to bet sports too and he says but baseball is really tough to bet on and I said yes it is

12:37however um I ran into a sports gambler this is a few years ago in Vegas and had a long chat with him and his theory was parlay is the way to go says let let the odds makers do the work for you just pick three favorites these are teams that are supposed to win right but when you parlay them even some of them are huge favorites you know um but if you pick three of them you'll you will win more than you will lose um over uh you know over several bets um as you gotta hit all three but if you're picking all favorites right pretty good I like it so twist my arm he's like reaching to the choir maybe I got you I got three units out this weekend and then I was when we were talking to our friends uh Bailey and Riley out there at northern quest because they handled the the spasito specials you know all of my uh parlay's and everything and they said well you know third times charm because I've missed the first two and I said yeah

13:41I just I just don't I don't want people to be discouraged and they said oh we've been monitoring all the comments just to make sure that nobody is outraged and I said well hopefully they're not outraged like thinking well this guy's giving me this information he must know I'm going to do you know you're you've got a bet bet responsibly yeah right yeah let's think any of the pundits that say this is what's going to happen and they're so certain before the game and then afterwards well like I said Jim you take this out of the equation and this is this and this happens is like in other words you don't know what you're talking about it's sports it's and it's it's the you know the crazy things can happen you can bet what Quinn knows this you can be on the right side of a bet like you look at the game it's like well I was on the right side it didn't win but that was the that was the right play because it'll go the other way too it's like oh man I was a complete idiot but I sure got lucky you know I took I took the points with this team they were getting slaughtered the whole game and then they chip away at the very end the game is

14:42meaningless you know the decisions been made but they got just enough to cover it's like yes I'm a winner and you don't really deserve to win those but you know it goes the other way well it's like what fantasy footballed everything can go away but your kicker kicked enough things so then you're beating everybody else because the other kicker got hurt and this guy is the only one and so yeah that's all the sports stuff so anyway so there's a lot there's a lot of gambling going on in the world it's just it's just what it is now and I hope that everybody is on the good side of it all right here's my envelope are you ready yeah okay it's been a long time since we've had to do this good boy parts okay let me start no how would you spend your last day on earth oh boy that's a question now I would like to I would like to divide this into several categories I would like to

15:42and I would like it to be the people that I would like to see in springtime with the activity and you know what your last day on earth let's say okay so it's a 24 hour period so let's do let's say it's I here's my here's the time period that I want I want it from it let's go eight o'clock at night to the following eight o'clock okay okay so for that first evening I'm gonna have a big family dinner I mean I've all the grandkids sleepover and I want to see of course I'm my mom to be there and can and all my friends and everybody people I love that are within reason right and I and a last one last sleepover with grandma and we it's just falls to the wall I can't even crap and everything I stay up all night the kids are passed out in the morning I kiss them goodbye I go get a mimosa and I start the day of debauchery I know what's coming now so first step I go to the bank and I get out all the money because it's your last day I think you're okay

16:48I'm not judging having said that there are properties and things in place for the children there's life insurance policies and stuff like that so they're all going to be fine if I take all of my available cash yeah cash they're gonna be fine yeah I've already provided for them everything is great then I think what I'd like to do is I'd like a driver I want the RV and I want the doggy to come to but I need a dry I need a designated driver because I'm gonna start hitting it hard I meant the soft part well you already got a mimosa in yeah yeah well and and probably the truth be told I had a Mexican coffee when I woke up with tequila just blasting tequila and baleys and I like my kids grandma loves you I don't want them to see me like that the last thing they knew I kissed him good night that all the candy and popcorn we had a great night together and so they're in their little bunk bed they're all happy and the next day grandma's already gone there's burn marks the RV so I'll have to be my driver and then I have different friends I'm going to meet for different things okay the mimosas with some people I think from a big portion

17:53of this I'm going to need Heather on board because she's the only one of my friends that will agree with the choices that are about to happen and I'm going to convince her to day drink with me too this is happening and you don't want to spend any of your last time on earth in debate mode like trying to negotiate with a friend or you're spending half hour trying to convince them no convincing it's just happening it's convincing okay and so we have right here in our area everything I need to provide the perfect day so I'm I'm going to want some sushi in that perfect day and maybe we had that the night before maybe we had that for dinner so I'm going to want to consume all my favorite foods just to make sure that happens and you know of course calories be damned all the sudden desert queen and then for beverages I'm going to go I'm going to have the Mexican coffee to start if that you know I'm going to die anyway who cares right and then I got my mimosas on board but I'm going to use a Prosecco with a really fresh orange juice going to be delicious and then and a couple packs of smoke two packs of smokes I won't go through them all but I don't want to run out

18:57before the end because remember the night before it was spent with the kids so there's no drinking no smoking was all family aha we're watching movies watching movies the alarm goes off I'm out the door so now I've got my different reward things and I'm going to also any of the local casinos I'm going in using every single point every single reward everything that I have every comp yes I'm not wasting any time with movies I'm not watching any television I am I am gambling and I'm gambling ridiculous amounts but what I'm also doing is this I and I will and I will designate I'll be like okay this one is for Mary and I will take you know a thousand dollars and I'll go to the slot machine and anything that happens let's say it's ten thousand dollars I'll be like please put this in another loop for Mary and with the note gambling pays you were wrong yeah then I'll say okay here's my friend Steve all right this is for Steve and Morgan and his family now if the thousand dollars get spent Steve gets nothing and I'm really sorry but but I

20:01also want them to say Molly and Molly's final wishes Steve she did go and she paid a thousand dollars at the dragons for you I'm going to blow all the money or I'm going to make a fortune for people and that's what I'll be behind now at the end of the day I will be somewhere I will be people can come and visit me maybe I go to the northern quest I go to the fun speak easy place and that's my final my final viewing but before you drift away I drift away but actually if I had my perfect thing I would be out on the floor where I could still be drinking and smoking and then they could come see me because I don't want to have to like oh Molly it's like when you have a birthday out there come cut the cake it's like no I don't want to come cut the cake I'm playing smoking drink you leave me alone I don't want to leave this activity so that's what I would have people come see me at the various slot machines I would need somebody to be in charge of my final envelopes of money that I would dish out and then I would just I don't know which machine I want

21:03to be on when I quietly pass but I would find the one I'm sure the northern quest people would be like you're not dying here you're not having that happen you're going to have to go out to the RV and maybe I do that maybe I do my last thousand dollars I do all that and then I go out to the RV that's parked in the RV park out there and I have the doggy there and then I just that's how she dies yeah that's my final 24 hour you know the sad thing is if you're gambling and I guess if you oh if every amount of money that you were gambling with was assigned to somebody yes that would be something yeah because otherwise you would be like you're gambling and then you hit a big jackpot well what's that going to do for you right you're gonna you're gonna be gone in a couple hours and I would even if I knew in advance I would say let's say I have 15 friends I'm gonna do this for I'd say which you pick a machine oh and do your research go on the because you can go on the website and you can find every machine they have

22:05and if you pick your machine I don't care what it is if if it hits it hits if it doesn't you're out nothing I'm just spending this extra so I do one in the name of the kids which one would you like me to do for you Dave well I only have the one game that okay then you get the quick kit thank you Quinn do you have a um I would just take my thousand dollars on a buffalo bills super bowl future ticket would probably be oh I want mine yeah I would grant you that wish that's gambling that happens that happens so what's happening now uh colline's gonna come in in a couple minutes oh I thought you were ordering two of those buffalo things I'm like no you already have your question yeah do you want me to put it on a parlay for you instead um you know what I would probably do this this you just want the thousand normally I'm not a very conservative gambler but I would probably like pick some extreme favorite in a game yeah and just say all right put it on the money line yeah yeah okay and you're guaranteed something yeah almost okay I will do

23:08that for you okay I will do that for you so everybody just start thinking about you know and maybe I have a one that's like a listener thousand and so that just you are to distribute that among our power 200 yeah and that that gets you know they get money well and we could have all our listeners text in if they would like to be a part of that not saying that you're going to be passing away anytime soon and it would not be very good if you did no things would be bad and the same for you I don't know what else I don't know what we would do um that's a great question though I mean I think everybody should should go into that question like what is the perfect day or if you're you know your last day what are you going to do yeah you want to I mean if you say it's your last month well then that changes things then I want to go to Fiji I want to stay in the over I want to fly in first class everywhere I blow up my money doing that but if it's just 24 hours I would be pretty happy right here and in my RV and all of that yeah we've answered everybody's questions right see we have possibilities on full display all right that's the envelopes of

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