BONUS: Tommy Thinks He's A Poet But Is He Actually?

0:00Gary and Tommy's bonus puff dives. So, I don't know if I'm the only one that didn't know there's a function on your phone. I've been taking photos and then I noticed two little people at the top of my photos and I said to Jesse. What do you mean two little people? Two little icon people, like two little... Oh, you meant like not actual people. Like almost like little, good or emojis, but real basic, just two little people standing next to each other. Like you see a person on a toilet door? Yes, exactly. And I said to Jesse, I said, well, I've got these little people over my photos and he goes, because you're sharing them. And I said to him and he said, it's just a setting and goes into my camera and then turns off the little people. And now I'm not... Is that how you do a shared album? I don't know, but I was doing it. See there, it's up in that top corner. See the two little people and now I've got a cross through them. Okay. I had not a cross through them. And so, any photos... Who were the people you were sharing them to? I don't know, Carrie. Anyone in my shared albums? I don't know if I've got shared albums.

1:01Lose up. Like I have if I've been on a trip or something, but then do you... Well, I've just been sharing them. What have you shared with them? Even yesterday. I'm 30, 10, 60, if Tommy's shared a photo with him. What have you shared yesterday? It's so embarrassing. Well, show me. It's probably the worst thing you could possibly... Think of the worst thing and it's the worst thing. Naked. No, it's a photo of a poem I liked. And that is the most embarrassing thing. I can possibly think of. Just by the book. I have got the book. I took a photo of the book. Why did you take a photo? Who were you going to send it to? Because I wrote a quill I wanted to send it to some friends. This could get more embarrassing. Did you write the poem? No, I haven't sent any of the ones I've written yet. Oh! Are you writing poetry? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no biggie. Whatever. You're going to do it bring out a poem. It's just like words, but in an order. And sometimes I make sense and sometimes I don't. Do you want to hear one of my poems? Yes, I do. Hang on. Are you actually going to read us one of your poems? I'm telling you.

2:01This is taking a turn. I thought we were going to take calls and when we accidentally shaved the photos with somebody. It's my poem book. A poem book. Anyway. You were sending, definitely sending the only people in your life that are going to want to get poetry from you is a woman. Yeah. I just realized why we're doing this. I know. He just wants girls to go, oh my god, he's a poet as well. Do you want to join my shared album with poetry? Oh, it's not. He takes photos. He's like the other losers send me photos that they don't. He sends like poetry. I, okay. What? We've painted. We've painted the solo spot. I don't like it. Absolutely. That's a top. Did you say it's hard to be a man sometimes? I'd be sensitive. David, you're shutting it down. I'm actually just waiting for my stage to read my poem. Yeah. Read us your poem. I think I'm out of order, ready? There's one off here. Okay. Ready to do that. Have you got some kind of, some kind of lot? Shake speed. Yeah. I'll take an instrumental. There we go. That's too much. Now, read it to this. Let's have a few options to see.

3:02Hang on. Hang on. Okay. It can be. It can be that, but I'll cue you. Okay. Okay. This is a letter to my younger self. 24 hours younger to be precise. Hey, bro. Watch out for your takeaway coffee today. The lead isn't attached properly, and it will spill all over you when you take the first sip in your car. You're also too late for work to go home and change. It'll really eff your whole day. Love always. 24 hour older, Tommy. That's not poetry. Yeah, it is. The notes. Isn't that poetry? poetry. Doesn't poetry have to rhyme? I will have some kind of, like... I read another one to produce a guarantee. It's just writing thoughts down. What makes it a poem? Don't you have to have some kind of me? I don't think so. Do you want to know the poem I sent to my friend?

4:03Yeah. This is my friend, Hannah. Hang on. Hang on. I'll cue you. Sorry. This one, and this is from a very well-established poet, who's very successful. This one is called The Process. The process of writing acts as a coagulant. Find your words with a wound still gushed. Yeah, see that's... Halt. Isn't it good? Mine was pretty much the same. What is your whole book just going to be thought from your death from 24 hours earlier? That's not bad. You regret it. That's not bad. Don't order another... What do you like to order at nights? You regret it. That's good stuff. Yes. No, it's not good stuff. Who's the poet that you had before? Lang Leave. Oh. Yeah. She's awesome. How are you sending it to a girl, though? Didn't I? Hey. We knew you were sending it to a girl, though. That's a friend. Guys can have family, my friends. But you weren't sending it to, like, Johnny. I'm sending that to Johnny. I read it to Johnny.

5:03What did he do? Yeah. I tried to read Johnny. I did that poem. I will love that one. And I went like this. I went... I let it to my younger self. I was young to be precise. And then before I could start, he goes, Hey, dickhead. And I was like, okay. Let's know your target market. My poetry is not going to be taken seriously. But are you at... Yeah. Okay. Well, this is different calls now. What do you want to do? We can get back to what we were talking about. No, I'm genuinely interested in finding out if what you just read then is poetry. Because I don't think it is. I think it's just thoughts on a page. I think art is determined by the artist as his poetry. I would love to hear from women too, if they'd be really like... Oh, do they want to join his poetry? I was pretty happy with poem. If... No, people don't just write poems. If you receive poems from a man. Carrie, you're not in the clique. I just want to hear from poets. People write poems. I can read their poems. People write poems for us. And they can read their poems. The poems had to rhyme. No, I'm not. I'm just curious about his hand. I want to be a poem. Do it in a poem form.

6:05I want to hear from teachers. The third in ten sixty is that poetry on it. Yeah, good. So that's a poem. Yes. That's a poem. That's not, they were... That's a poem. He intended it to be. He can't just call it a poem. Welcome back to the saloon. The saloon. The poetry saloon. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. What type of music would the saloon like for their poetry? Just something that bangs. I've got into poetry in these guys. No, you haven't. You just started writing your thoughts on a page. What happened? What happened? Catch up. The cats. Yeah, and we jam on the papilla. What if you give us another one of your poems? Are you ready, though? Yeah. Just to take the music out. I'll cue you in. Okay. You light up my life and make my heart skip a beat. You give me this shit. You fill me with warmth and provide comfort and calm

7:05and an otherwise unsafe world. Really give me a... You're literally my favourite part of every single day. But you, me, shits give. I just can't... I just can't believe you're six dollars for a takeaway. It's coffee. Yeah. Did you not get that? The words, it's coffee, aren't it? Actually. I didn't have enough in that. Okay, so that's a bit better than the other one. That was also really good. What was the one you wrote when you just wrote this page is nothing or were there words on a page or something? Yeah, read that one. Read that one. Read the one you originally read us on air to Jocelyn. Are you there Jocelyn? Yes, hello. Okay, now you were teacher Jocelyn. Yes, I'm a high school English teacher. Okay, great. Jocelyn, what do you think of your poetry? But you need to read it again to Jocelyn. Well, a previous one. Sometimes my poems are like birds.

8:06And once they fly, they go on. No, everyone... They go on. The fall wants to hear it again. The one you read before. Read it so Jocelyn can critique it. Jocelyn, if you want to see it, look off into the horizon. You might catch it too. Just want to make radio. Can you give us some context and read it again? Okay, Jocelyn, are you ready for this? No, because it's just about coffee again. No, not that one. The one from the last break. What do you mean? That was. Yeah, that was about coffee. Okay, just read that. It's about both been about coffee. I haven't got one. Stop trying to control me. Knowing there's no point having someone review a thing that you haven't reread. Who at the night? Don't you know how to make radio? You have to reset what we're doing. Who at the night? They've just gotten their car and they haven't heard your poem. You've got to get hit to the jazz. Cut. Sorry, Jocelyn. I just read it and you want... Would you... Would you have taught children like Tommy? A hundred percent. I can think of many. Aren't they the little spark in every day, Jocelyn? Well, you know what? They do make my day brighter. I won't lie.

9:07Yeah. Wouldn't you rather have... Wouldn't you rather have uncontrollable energy than none at all? Oh, maybe a bit of a balance. Maybe a couple of you and a couple of Carrie might work for you. Have you heard some of the poetry that seems to be a one-off thing that we can't get him to repeat? Look, I have. And is that poetry? No. No. It's not. So, poetry is... It's going to have some kind of literary merit. There is... That is the most Shakespearean slam down. So, the one about... Coffee doesn't have literary merit. Well, I mean, okay. So, that second poem, he just read. And I'd credit that because it does have a structure. So, it could be poetry. But that first one. It... There is supposed to use free verse. So, you can just kind of say what you want. But that has to be a reason, not just a reason about your day.

10:08Jocelyn, I'm sorry to give you some feedback in return. But you are not trying to create art. You are trying to... You're a cookie cutter. Or a... Or a sausage factory to use another... Oh, okay. I'm not... I'm here to blend in and go with the grain as such. But I'm here to break free from conforms. Would you like to hear the one I wrote for you? Yes. So, of course, I would care. Thank you, Jocelyn. You just have to get really the very end, Jesse. When I go like that, we've got to get out. Did you want to... I feel like this is our big out. Do you want to speak to Ronda first? Yeah. Sorry, Ronda wasn't there. Yeah, Ronda. Hi, how are you? Good. Am I... Is it true that we're speaking one poet to another? Well, I'm a writer, so I'm not really a poet. But, yeah, I'd sort of missed your first poem. But I heard the critique, and I heard that you were talking about the fact that it needed to have a rhyme, or a rhythm, or a structure, or whatever. But I would almost say that... Tommy, I'm going to take you aside and just say that Jack Carillac, you know, they were...

11:08Yes. ...and they just wrote whatever came to mind. And a lot of it was just absolute rubbish. Right. Even though I've missed the poem. Can we just have read it? Please read it. Can we please read it? The one that you wrote about the 24 hours ago, if the younger self. Ronda, this poem is entitled, a letter to my younger self, and then in brackets, 24 hours younger to be precise. I like it. Hey, bro. Watch out for your takeaway coffee today. The lid isn't attached properly, and it'll spill all over you when you take your first sip in your car. You'll also be too late for work to go back and change. It'll really eff your whole day. Love always. 24 hour older Tommy. I quite like it. I quite like it. I quite like it. It's probably not poetry, like it's actually. However, I quite like it because you're using literary devices, so you're using humour. And you're sort of... You're actually thinking outside the box.

12:09I go. Ronda, you're the best. I love you. This is what how he gets through his life, honestly. What? Go on, your creation, Carrie. I really want to, unlike the dream killers that I'm surrounded by, I really like to hear your song. Here's what I wrote. Tommy's words, just thoughts, not prose. Soon I'll be writing about his very big nose. Poetry is just a way to get the girls combined with your funny jokes and your fluffy curls. Don't quit, Tommy. You'll be a published poet yet. And when it happens, you'll finally make a girl. And when it happens, you'll finally make a girl.