Accidentally pressing send too soon & things are starting to get sexual

0:00A list-snuff production. Do you think you'll have kids like Saisen? Careful. Careful. Sorry, cut it. This is important. Brian, don't even think about it. It's Matt and Alex. Yes, with your hosts, myself, Alex, Dyson, and joining us from... ...what we've recently been declared the vibrator capital of Australia. It's about OKAY! Yes, I mean, you could argue that, like, it's blogs like me, other reason why Brisbane is... ...that's been declared the vibrator capital. Women around the city just going, if that's the option. LAUGHTER Well, you know, I... When you always told me the vibes are high and busy, I thought you were talking about something else, Matt. Brian, is this... Where did you get this statistic from, by the way? This is from Body and Souls. They did a sex census. And they said, yeah. Brisbane is the nation's vibrator capital with 75% of people admitting to using or considering.

1:00They don't split up between using and considering? No, no, I think considering shouldn't be allowed in there. Yeah. Sydney's on 66, and then Melbourne's 56%. Surely everyone's considered it. LAUGHTER If it's considerations in... I thought that would be a high enough number. That would be, like, ever as surely considered it, but then, yeah, it's, you know, taking the plunge is the other option. Are any of the percentages 69% or is this just one big waste of opportunity? Unfortunately not. Yeah. How am I meant to believe these stats? OK, so, um, well, I'm glad... I'm just glad when Brisbane's winning something. So, well done, Brisbane, for going out there and getting your buzz on. Now, Brian, this does highlight a deep desire for us as podcasters to fulfill the wishes of people like yourself who are begging for an adult's only episode. The Mad Alex Uplate edition. We have been getting a few messages of people being, like, bring out the naughty episode.

2:02Well, I'm surprised with... We've got so many sickos listening to this. Just sexual deviance who are interested in our opinions on all nature of carnal desires. Doesn't even have to be that naughty. I was like, I posted a video on Instagram just the other day about doing the right thing on my bicycle. I got off my bike. All people have kinks, Matt. You don't have to get your bike off. Jesus. All right, look. I posted... What I did... I dismounted... Well, whatever. Look. You're immature, Dice. That's your problem. How are we going to get through an adult's only episode of This is the way that you act? I know. It's got to talk about it sensibly. I got off my bike because there was a sign that said cyclist must dismount. And this old lady, she would have been about 80.

3:02She said, oh, well done. And I sort of did realize she was talking to me and I said, oh, sorry. And then she said, good on you for getting off your bike. Right. She's used to the water balloon bike loads of Brisbane who don't care about signs or people's clothing. Exactly. And she said, oh, there's so many people on this thing riding their bike when you're not supposed to. And I always do so much, but you got off your bike well done. And in the post, I say this... It made... It made my day getting a little bit old lady love. That's awesome. Just that simple compliment. I was like, I'm still floating on cloud nine. That's awesome. Yeah, but then I posted that on Instagram and people like praise kink. Come on, what? So many people praise kink. The hell is a praise kink? Bronnevee have you ever heard of a praise kink before? I think like some people like being called like good girl and stuff like that. They have a praise kink. Is that what it is? Yeah. I'd like to praise kink like a shooood. Oh yeah, sexy parody definitely has been on the upload episode.

4:04I've got to pull out on Instagram as well. I ask people to send through their sexy voices and no one... Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. It's really a sexy voice. Yeah. Everyone listening to this show, Gilbert Godfrey. Is that what's going on? Well, I guess that that's the best way you could do that. Checking that sounds not a bad impromptu, Gilbert Godfrey, right? Oh, baby! You make me feel so good! But, okay, well, what about this? What do I do? Some of these praise kink phrases in Gilbert Godfrey's voice? Oh, because what's actually meant to be happening on this show is we're revealing the final special guest for our Brisbane Five Raves in Five Days rave. This incredible artist will tune in to hear the clues that they've sent to us to play for our listeners. And instead, they're going to be getting battled kind doing praise kinks in the batter of Gilbert Godfrey.

5:04I don't think that's right to put those two things next to each other. Praise kink is, yes, someone being praised sexually can certainly make you feel loved. But with a praise kink, there's something darker about it. It's sexual and nature and contributes to greater sexual pleasure and better orgasms. Okay, that's what it says here. Do we, should we save it for the... If we're doing one of these episodes? I'm just going to tell you, here's the first one. Good girl slash boy slash pet. That's what it says. That's the first praise phrase. Good girl slash good boy slash good pet. So here, I'm just going to name a couple for you. Okay, have we officially started the episode? I still feel like this is the intro. Your calves drive me wild. I can't stop thinking about your ass. I'm going to show you off to everyone. Sit still so I can drink you in with my eyes.

6:04I say this is the good. This is the good. This is the good. So there you go. That's one of 39 possible praise kink phrases that you can utter in this style of Gilbert God. So next time someone gets off their bike, don't just say well done. Say I can drink you in with my eyes. There you go. You are listening to Matt Nalix. No, no. Everyone ready? We are. So excited. All right, Matt. We've heard throughout this week if you've been tuning into every episode, you will have heard two artists give you clues to the fact that they are joining us at crowbar in Brisbane on October 29th to kick off our five raves in five days to us. I'm very special guest DJs who will be performing and not the only ones.

7:04I think we're going to have a couple of special guests as well, but each each week we want to reveal at least three that we're going to be joining us two or three. Also, I'm kind of listening to did ask whether their son could come with there was an under 18 event, which we should clarify. Adelaide is the only under 18's event. Yes, Adelaide. It is our matinee rave. It's on a Sunday night. We know you've got things on. So we're opening the doors at four. And under 18's are welcome to come if you're in Adelaide. Yeah, look, we might try and figure this out. The problem is not because we don't want it. The problem is because there is some really, really annoying laws. Seriously, they're so annoying. And to get around them is really expensive and it's just complicated. That's right, because you can put them on, but there's all these bar separations and various security measures and things that make it pretty unviable.

8:04We are really, really sorry about that because I would love Sophia to go. I want Sophia to come rave to her first rave. That would be such a proud parenting moment. Taking my seven year old to, you know, crowd surf at a rave. Yeah. To an ointment. I mean, I'd love that. But anyways, so Alex Tyson, we do have another clue, the final clue. Yes. If you haven't listened, I'd recommend you quickly go right now, listen to Monday's episode of our podcast and listen to Wednesday's episode because they're your first two artists. And here is clue number one for artist number three. Our band has been nominated for 15 or 16 rir awards. And we've never won a single one. Okay. Okay. I mean, that's like 15 or 16. That's more than a baker's dozen. That's like a butcher's dozen up there up in those areas. Oh, wow. Okay. Well, there you go. Now, I, you want a little bit more to give people another one.

9:08Yeah. Of course. Let's have a listen. Earlier this year, I broke my collarbone playing a game of cricket. So then had to sit down for our entire national tour. Because I couldn't wear a good tar strap on my shoulder. Oh, okay. So maybe someone who might have seen in a sling playing around Australia recently. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm almost a bit nervous for this person getting into the rave cave with a sensitive collarbone. Yeah. That could end up in peace. I've seen the mosh at these raves. That could end up in pieces again. I just break it now again, just to get it out of the way. That's it. Well, if you know all three now, there's a three send your message in. Now is the time to Matt. And Alex on Instagram producer, Brian has the stopwatch who ever gets it first. No matter where you are in the country, you could win two tickets to a rave of your choosing. But that's one, two, three, Maddo, kind huge guests that will be joining us on October 29. If you don't know who it is, why not just buy tickets as well.

10:16You know, need to try and win them. We're going to be announcing the full lineup and talking to the winner. The fastest person on Monday's pod. So join us on Monday to find out if you've got yourself some tickies. Well, Alex Tyson, you'll remember that a while back I gave out my chest.com. Try user name and offered, you know, any listeners to jump on board, start challenging me. And I faced off against a couple of you. Some I wipe the floor with you. Thanks for trying. Better luck next time. Yeah, but another one, one particular user. I won't give their name. What's their photo? Their name is Sam. And Sam challenged me. And we had a very good game. It was a very close game. Solid. And I mean, I think he might have even won it. Did it go all the way to the end game, where it's just a king and a pawn and a dream?

11:20I can't remember if he won it, but look, it was a fun one. I've had Sam's listen to going, yeah, I want it. And Matt's just like, I can't remember who won in the end. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, that's what you're thinking, Sam. What did I tell everyone about our actual stats, which is 31 wins to me, three draws and 23 wins to you. So I'm better than you still. Okay. I am better than you at the moment. Doesn't matter. You're only good as your last game, mate. That's solid, bro. You've been so we played he's an epic battle. Yeah. So the first game must have been so good. It's like, oh, you hit the rematch button. Yeah, basically. So now as soon as we finish the game, it's like we're on again because it's he's got you know, we're at the same level. You just never know who's going to win. But every now and then, you know, you message each other in the chest app. And you'll be like, oh, that was, you know, I've down my company. If I made that move, that was a bit embarrassing or whatever. And you know, it's all that sort of stuff. Yeah. But the other day, he says, oh, you know, that was a terrible move, whatever. But then he goes, also, I like you.

12:21That is you know, do it a DM slide on the grand is bold enough to do it a DM slide on the chest.com app huge move from Sam. What he meant to say was, oh, he goes, oh my God, no. He said, I meant to say, I like your new tune. But my kids tackled me as I was typing it and I smashed the send button. He says, my God, this kills me. My wife is in tears. I like you. Yes. So thank you to Sam for listening to yesterday me. It is out now on your tune from Boyle. Make us so please listen to wherever you get your music or you can check out the incredible film clip on at Matt O'Kine. Instagram, but um, but yeah, it made me think you know, one of you, one of you accidentally mashed that send button too quick. Yeah, I did ask an at least this one. He says send a message to a data. Can't remember if I mentioned, but meant to say hello, but actually, HL instead of the oh right next to that is the P.

13:28And she just said to her, don't help. On. And then put her phone away. No. It was an answer because it got distracted. Well, set that without proof reading on that one. I'm so scared. Although now the the worst thing is now with AI, if your child does message you, you know, it's AI scammers and stuff. Even if your child does message you help, I would immediately be like, that's fake. It's terrible. Like that's not what you should be. Yeah, you know, like you need a code word so that if you are in danger, you are you actually do. You can be sure because I've seen a lot of these people, have you seen you got one of these messages that says, hey dad, I've lost. Yes, you know, I haven't got any money at the moment. Can you send me this my new number? So he's a big. Hey dad, it's me. Yes, this heaves of people are getting these ones at the moment and a lot of people without children are getting them. I accidentally sent one to Braun because we got our like podcast numbers through and I said to Braun, the boss gave me some incredible analysis on our podcast numbers.

14:37I just I hit send a little bit early. All right, yes, save it for the adults only show. Okay, sorry. My boss gave me some incredible analysis. All right, then we got to wrap this up. But I did want to give you one final chance to get all three acts who are joining us at the incredible David Brisbane, Croba October 29. We want to see you there. And if you want to win tickets, please message right through right now. If you know all three acts, let's give one final clue for our final DJ, Braun. I play in our band with my twin brother and last year we were lucky enough to play some stadium shows with a couple of people. There you go. Okay, okay. Who is going to be our final headline DJs?

15:39The mountain Alex Raves. Don't forget that these guys, you know, who ever is up usually doesn't just hit play and dance around like some of these influencers. I mean, that's what I'll be doing. I don't know how to DJ. I'll be watching you do all the fancy stuff. They will be everyone using the same thing. They will be everyone usually loves to get involved in various surprising and interesting ways on the night. It's going to be such a fun night head to mountain Alex dot com dot a you to cut out the middle people and just get yourself a ticket, secure yourself a ticket via money. And Monday will be revealing all three names as well as kicking off the the clues, the little quiz for you as to who is playing our Sydney show. Other than that, have a great weekend producer, Bron, you're up to any mischief this weekend. Going out for dinner for my birthday. Oh, that's right. It is your birthday. We were you birthday yesterday, but it's your birthday dinner tonight and what you know paint the picture.

16:42What's going to be happening? Well, it's been a big week of celebrations Tuesday night, comedy Republic, the traders viewing party. I love that you're coming back to that. It's fun, isn't it? It is. It's so much fun. Thursday night was steak night with Steve and then it's also my mom's birthday tomorrow. So we are doing a family slash father's day. Get together. Oh, that is so cool. And look, look, Matt got you one final present and it is another praise king from Gilbert Gover. Matt. Well, wait, wait, wait, before I give you one final praise king, what's his traders party? TV show traders hosted by Gretel Colleen. Yes. I saw it. I watched a bit of the first episode where that maths guy got ousted like before he even stepped in. Oh, that is good. So what's happening now? I mean, I know our friend Tully Smythe is in there. Our friend, Reese Nicholson is there. Dick O's. Dick O's. Dick O's. Dick O's. Dick O's. Dick O's.

17:42Dick O's. Dick O's. Dick O's. Dick O's. Dick O's. He's a little old lady cat. He used to cut the nose. Where is that little old lady cat? I sing it regularly in my own mind. It goes hard, it's exactly. But race has been watching the show, I wanted to watch it with friends. And so a few of the contestants from the show audiences have been coming in on a Tuesday night to come in to the Republic and all watching it together, which has been pretty interesting because there's like a bit of a... Whoa! And those kind of things. Do you think you do a show like that? Traders. Yeah. Um, maybe? I don't know. I don't think I'd be too good at it. Although we did play a little family game of... I forget the name of the game, but you had... Everyone gets shown a word. Like it, the word is trampoline or something like that. And then you go around the circle. Everyone needs to say a word that's close to the word or could be interpreted as the word trampoline. So someone might say, jump.

18:44Right. The next person might say, bounce. The next person might say, springs. Okay. But one person is... Trader, for lack of a better word. They don't get shown the word. They just get given a cattle grid called backyard or something like that. Right. So it's their... They have to come up with a word to make it seem like they're not the traders. But they just hear what the other people have said and go, um, uh, leap. You know? And so at the end, everyone has to guess who's the one who doesn't know the word. But if I'm the trader and I guess that the word is trampoline, I win. So the word needs to be able to be linked. But it can't be so obvious that you give away the word that only the true faithful people know. And so, and I was okay at that game. So maybe I'd be alright at it. Man, that's a great game. Well, okay. I'm excited to...

19:44I like the idea of that game. Thank you for giving me another party game to play. Thank you for listening to another episode of Matt and Alex and, uh, Bronn. Wow, you can really take a spanking. There's a little phrase for you, uh, to share with... Steve. I was going to say, we'll see you on Monday. I don't know if we will now, because as soon as the higher ups at listener, he... What the host of the show just said to the producer of the show, I've got a feeling we're going to be in some meetings. Thanks, Matt. Thanks, Matt. Our boss just hands around four little bits of paper with words on them. And I read mine. Did anyone else get fired? Is that the word ever... Is everyone else getting fired? Let's go.

20:44Sack. Retreat. Alright, thank you very much for another episode of Matt and Alex. We'll see you on Monday. Bye-bye.