182// Learning to be Unproductive

0:00Do you feel overwhelmed by clutter when you walk through the door? Are you tired all the time and stuck just getting by? With each day being a carbon copy of the next and no time or space for yourself? Hi, I'm Sarah and I was you, so I understand. You're a busy mom, whether at home or working full time, feeling like you're in survival mode. There isn't time for more because you're just putting out fires, overwhelmed by all the stuff and aching for something more. That's what the Simple Intentional Podcast is here for. To support you, whether it's to clear clutter, ditch the overwhelm, and create ease and simplicity, figure out how to be more intentional in your life, or inspire you into action. Each week I'll share things like practical and actionable tips you can start using immediately. To start living more intentionally and create your life, as well as interviews with people that will inspire and educate you.

1:02I'm a full time working mom, wife, and lover of all things simple. After a stage 4 cancer diagnosis in 2014, I started on a path to change how I was living. And I'm sharing with you everything that has helped me move from a stressed out, people pleasing perfectionist to calm, in control, and feeling like the best version of myself. So grab your earbuds, a cup of tea, and join me to start making powerful shifts in your life today. This is about so much more than stuff. Hello and welcome back to the Simple and Intentional Podcast. I'm going to apologize ahead of time if you can hear a weird background noise. There's a house under construction next door to me, and they are doing something with a very repetitive noise that they've been doing for many hours at this point. But you know, recording must go ahead because today is the day. So I wanted to talk to you today about productivity and list making.

2:03And as I sit here in my new space, leaning against my new couch, and feeling really, really great about the space I'm creating, I've been really thinking about how I've gotten caught up in a lot of productivity since I moved. And maybe before that as well, you know, leaning up to the move with all the packing and the thinking and all the cognitive labor that went into. Making a move happen, organizing everything, ensuring that we had everything we needed, and then thinking out the space here when we arrived and filling in the holes of the things that we were missing. Having gone through a separation, we divided up household belongings, furniture, all of that stuff. And so I knew some things I was going to have to replace. But of course, as we lived in this space, more and more things came up. I realized we were missing this or that.

3:03And I found myself really caught up in this productive state of trying to get the place in order, and not really being able to stop. You know, like there's boxes that need to be unpacked. There's things to put away. There's things to do. There's things to order. There's things to figure out. And it just felt like I really, really couldn't put it down and I couldn't rest. And I just felt kind of wired all the time. Like when I did sit down, I was tired, but also my mind was just going, going, going, going, going, going. And it's a feeling that I remembered and that I recognized and that I know that a lot of you can relate to. It's when our minds are full and busy and we're carrying that cognitive load. We're carrying that mental load of our household. And we just can't put it down. We just can't rest or relax. And that problem is really, really made worse when our environment is in a chaotic state. So I recognized that because I had been living in this chaotic state from moving with everything packed up in boxes, to being in an unpacked half done state here, waiting on having certain pieces of furniture.

4:12And truthfully, I'm still waiting. I'm not done yet. You know, I still need certain baskets. You know, that kind of thing to be able to put everything away and find a home for things. But I've ordered myself to slow down. I've ordered myself to take a step back to get out of the constant need to be finishing this space and allow myself some space to breathe and just sit with it a little bit. And I think that that's an important practice when you find yourself in a state like that where you're really wired, you can't settle, you're going, going, going, going. That is a call for presence. That is a call for slowing down for just sitting with yourself and figuring out what is going on. And I like to take those times to really reflect, to kind of think about how is my body feeling, why do I think I'm feeling this way and just kind of let those things percolate. Because I think you'll be incredibly surprised with what comes out. I always find that when I can pause, I can find some presence that I get these little epiphanies, I get these little recognitions of, oh yeah, okay, that's what's going on.

5:23I didn't see right away that I was caught up in this sort of productivity. This perfectionism was rising to the surface again because I wanted to get my space right. I wanted to finish it. I wanted to get it set up so that I could finally relax. But the truth is I can relax now too. I don't have to finish that task. I don't have to have the space perfect. I don't need to finish figuring out the furniture. I don't need to do it all before I can relax. I can relax now. And so this is the mindful piece that I think we need to practice, build into our lives. And certainly it's something that I have found highly, highly beneficial in my own life and has allowed me to make a lot of recognitions about myself, some understanding, and just to be able to process things properly. You know, being able to be with yourself is a really important thing to develop. And also, when we recognize we're in this state, we have to understand why. For me, this is a temporary state because I have tackled my clutter. I have thought about my belongings.

6:34And I know that I'm in a season right now. But for you, it may be because your space is cluttered or it's overwhelming you. And that can be because of your mental load as well. These two things are very tied together because when you're mentally wound up feeling chaotic and feeling cluttered, that often reflects outwards into our space. And of course, the other people we live with contribute to that mental load and to that clutter and chaos. But it is really a calling. If you feel the way that I'm describing and you have yet to tackle your clutter or you know that it's a problem, it is really a calling for you to start to take some action on it. And it doesn't need to be an overhaul. It's not a weekend project. I just like to preface that every time I talk about decluttering because this is a process. And I would say that this conversation comes up with my clients often because it's a process of working on one area, making headway and then realizing deeper things about your clutter and about your space.

7:50And then digging deeper and getting to the next area of clutter in your life, whether that's mental or relational or whatever the next area of clutter for you to dig into is. So what I'm trying to say to you is it's not about checking off the box that you've decluttered your home. It's about beginning and about taking steps and working through the process of it because like our to do list. Decluttering will never really be done because you're always going to have to ask yourself questions about your stuff. But what I think you'll also find is as as you set off on this journey and this process is that you will just get deeper and deeper into it. So for me, it's no longer physical stuff. I moved to really decluttering relationships and looking at the people in my life and how they were impacting me and who I wanted around me and who was supporting me and who was hindering me.

8:53And also the mental clutter, the thoughts, the beliefs, the ideas we have. So once we get past the physical stuff, it takes us further into other areas of our lives. And it's a really, really incredible journey. But just to loop back to how I started this episode talking about productivity and lists. If you find yourself to be someone who is caught up in never being able to step off the hamster wheel, having a difficult time resting and relaxing and the list seems to never end. I want you to look around you and think about your physical space and ask yourself, are the things that I'm looking at demanding something of me? Do I feel overwhelmed and like I can't rest because when I look around my space, I see 10 different things that need to be done that just I don't have the energy to do.

9:58And I want to dig more into lists in another episode. But what I want you to think about right now is what I just said to examine your space, think about what it's demanding of you and how it's impacting you. And if you're hesitant on decluttering or you're feeling tired or overwhelmed, just think about making one decision. Remember how I said that this is a process. This is a journey. This isn't something that you need to tackle in a weekend or you need to make huge gains on and you're failing if you aren't doing it, you know, 10 out of 10 every single day. That's not reality. We have to figure out how to work into our lives, the action necessary to create a change that we want. So if you want to declutter and you want your space to feel more under control so that you can rest and relax, have fun, just get off that hamster wheel, then you just need to make one decision.

10:59Maybe you'll make more sometimes you will, some days you'll make lots of decisions, but if you're tired, just make one. It's about showing up consistently and returning to the thing you say you want. It's not about how much you accomplish or how quickly you do it. This is not a race. So let me know I would really love to hear from you. If you're working on decluttering or you're wanting to change your space or you're wanting to live more intentionally and you're feeling stuck, what are the thoughts you're having, what are the beliefs, what are the things you're telling yourself. And this is what I really dig into when I work with people is getting under the surface of what you believe in helping you change the way you see the situation so that you can change the action you take and then you can change the outcome. And I've heard over and over again from the women that I work with how amazing it is to them once they've tackled their clutter, how much easier things feel. So life still lives, but then when it does, they're not completely overwhelmed by their space at the same time.

12:09So if you're feeling that heaviness, that overwhelm and you're just feeling really stuck by your space, just make that one decision. I promise you this is really, really life changing work and I really want that for you. We all deserve to have more simplicity in our lives. Absolutely, we deserve to live in a clean and tidy space and we also deserve to not be the only ones handling the load around that. So if you were struggling with that, please just take today to make one decision and get yourself started on the path to a different space. I really hope this episode was helpful to you and I so appreciate you listing. I have one request if you are someone who listens to this podcast regularly and you find it helpful, I would be so thrilled if you could leave me a review. It just makes such a difference for this show or if you can share the episode with somebody and spread the word, I would so appreciate it. So thanks for listening and I'll see you next time.