When Life Says Not Today, Choose To Pivot And Open Your Heart

0:00Hello, everyone. This is StillVerse's podcast. This podcast was created for women by women to elevate women's voices. I am so flippant excited to be recording today for this episode because I desperately was trying to be proactive about a week ago and to get some recordings done and the universe was like, no, not today. So I want to dive into that a little bit and talk about the pivot there. Very excited to be here. So a week ago, before we hit March, which happy March, I had really again leaning into the no Saturday work routine. February, March and April are heavy duty months for me with my family because everyone's birthdays, my grandkids, my stepkids, my son-in-law, everyone's birthdays fall, February, March, April. It is the craziest thing. So every other weekend roughly, if not sometimes consecutive weekends, we're all together. I love it. It's actually one of my favorite times of the year is being able to see everyone so much, so close together. But at the

1:03same time, it is a little stressful because instead of having those weekends free where I'm home and just home and detoxing, we're on the road. So it gets quite hectic. So with that in mind, I said to myself, before this gets really out of control, let me go ahead and get my March recordings done. So you know, typically with podcasts, you will record in advance, which I always almost do. Actually, I always do it at this point because sometimes in the moment, just can't get to things. So I pretty much will always try to record in advance. I'm like, let me do this. I have this Sunday available. Like, let me just try to get these recordings done. And I was running errands and like, I'm going to record from the car. I'm going to moldy task, moldy task queen today. Let's do this. The recording, the studio, the virtual studio app on my phone for Riverside just was not cooperating. So the multitasking was out the window, which is fine. I was like, you know, I'll get to it later on tonight. Did not get to it later on that evening either. And I had to take a moment and just remind myself, which I always tell you guys, so I'm going to say it out loud,

2:04too. I often have to remind myself, you have to just go with the flow. You have to pivot. It's okay if it didn't work out for today. You can still get to this. It just didn't happen for you today. Now, I'm also of the mindset of sometimes you are just not meant to do what you plan to do. So I mean, I'm sure we've all had those days where you have a plan. When does that phrase that they say? And if you're, if you're Catholic, you probably heard it quite a bit, but God laughs when you, when you make plans. It's like you're trying to supersede what is meant to happen for you. And for me, and for some of you who are not Catholic, what you would think about it, if you're more spiritual is the universe just wasn't an alignment for that today. The creator did not align who made to do that today. There's a reason for it. So there's no need to get upset. If you missed your bus and you're late to work, there's a reason for it. Now, I know it's going to suck because you're going to get to work late and you're probably going to get in trouble, but there was a reason for it. Don't let it ruin your entire day. If the power went out in your house and you lost Wi-Fi and you work from home, don't freak out. It was not meant for you to log into work that day. Maybe for some reason,

3:08you were supposed to slow down that day. And this is coming from a person who, quite literally, could potentially be defined as a workaholic. So you know if I'm telling you, if your power is out, go with the flow, go with the flow, because I get it. I get the hectic work schedule and wanting to lean in, but sometimes you are just not meant to do what you're planning to do. Perhaps my recordings were not meant to be released last week or in the first week of March. Perhaps there was a reason for it. Perhaps in one of you is meant to hear what I'm going to get to next and you won't want to listen last week. There's a reason for everything. So the whole takeaway here is don't let shifts in your day, in your life, in your month, throw you wildly off course because you were just being redirected to a different path that you might not have gotten to on your own in the universe as giving you a nudge. The creator is giving you a nudge. God is giving you a nudge. Whoever you pray to and whomever you align with spiritually, they were giving you a nudge to get into a different space. That's all it is. So take those moments as a sign that

4:10you were meant to go a different way. Do not take them in a bad way. Do not let it ruin your whole day. Now, two of the things I want to talk about today. So I have actually talked quite a bit and you guys all know me well enough at this point to know. Due to my hectic schedule at work and my home life, I have occasional meltdown breakdowns and you know what? I let it fly. Now, I don't meltdown breakdown in a toxic screaming way anymore. Now it's more of a I'm overwhelmed and I let the tears come. I just let it happen. Initially, I used to hide it with my kids. They were little so that they didn't really know that I would hide it. I would mask it. I would swallow it. If I was really having a crazy work week and I was just very overwhelmed, I would try to just swallow it and press on and it often would cause obviously implosion. But that's not healthy. That's not the path. And what am I showing and what am I modeling when I do that for my kids, right? I'm telling them it's not safe. It's not safe and it's not okay to show your emotions.

5:10I'm telling them you can't be everything that you are because you have to pretend that you're happy all the time when in reality you're not. And I'm telling them that your emotions don't count, especially to my girls. What am I showing them as a mother and as a wife? I'm telling them if I do that, I'm telling them your emotions and your feelings about X situation don't count. And I'm telling them it's not okay to get stressed out and upset. It's not okay to let your emotions out. And that's not the message that I want to send to them. So I let the tears come now. If I'm frustrated, I take a moment. I take some deep breaths. I tell the kids, I need a hug. Come give mommy a hug. In particular, my daughter, Cat Leia, I tell her her hugs are healing. So if my husband or I and I are stressed out or if I see that my husband is in a really bad mood, I'll tell her like, oh, you know, Bobby needs a Cat Leia hug. Like, go get him and social go and go and get him a squeeze and it does. It makes them feel better. So I do this same thing. I tell them like, mommy needs a hug. I might cry a little bit but they'll hold me and it's the weirdest

6:11thing to talk about because they're my kids. But I've flipped the script a little bit here and I'm making it more of a united family. I'm showing you that this is okay. It's okay to have emotions. It's okay to break down and cry. But it's okay to turn to your family for support. That's the big message that they need to hear, right? It is okay to be vulnerable with your family and it's a safe space for support. Now, the reason this has recently come up is because I most I did a spiritual cleansing. It's an ancestral cleansing with Elizabeth Kip. Elizabeth is somebody that I interviewed on the podcast before. I'm going to link her episode into this description so you can listen to it. I highly encourage anybody and I think I already mentioned it that I engaged with her in April or February, February, sorry. I'm getting a little confused in my months but I had engaged with her for an ancestral cleansing. So an ancestral cleansing is where, you know, you would engage with

7:14Elizabeth and she does a session with you where you start to explore your past and you explore pain points. Now, the exploration that I was embarking on with her was more focused on finances. Why do I have a gap? Why do I have a block? Why does it seem like no matter how much money I make, it doesn't, not enough. But the answer is that it is enough. What's the problem is that internally, there's been messaging for years that is telling me that no matter what I do, it's not enough and that is not accurate. So I went to Elizabeth for this cleansing and we go through this process and it was about an hour long process. Really wonderful. I again, highly encourage you if you're having, if you're struggling, if you feel like you're blocked, she's a wonderful person to engage with. And one of the things that came up when we were doing the cleansing is that at some point, due to my home life and my family life growing up that I felt it was not okay and it is not safe to show your emotions with your family and that you basically have to swallow your emotions. You have to suffer in silence. This message was ingrained in me deeply and it didn't really,

8:21I didn't really understand it and I didn't recognize it until I engaged with Elizabeth. So it crumbled all the way up to the top and became a turning point in how I'm addressing things and how I'm doing things now because before I would try to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders all the time. Now leading up to this point, yes, I was doing meditation, yes, I was doing affirmations, I'm doing journaling, I'm doing all the things, right? But I hadn't recognized and this is going to sound crazy because my husband and I have been together now for 16 years. I hadn't recognized that there was still a part of me that was holding back. There was a part of me that hadn't really given it all over to my marriage and my relationship. It sounds nuts but I want you all to think about it. I'm sharing this with you and I realize this is a very personal thing to share but because of this messaging that it's not safe and because of what I observed in my parent separation, it's not safe to be vulnerable 100%. You always have to

9:25be able to walk away on your own. That that of lack and scarcity and fear is the ultimate blocker for prosperity because I'm sitting here living my life afraid to wholly open up and make myself available and vulnerable to someone else. It was a bit of a shock because again, I've been married for 10 years and we've been together for 16 years and you would think there is nothing there. There is no walls and there isn't any walls. There aren't. He knows everything about me. I know everything about him. We obviously, you know, been married for all this time, living together for all this time. So we know everything about each other but only in the past few years has the intimacy level really raised more and more. And I think because of what I've been through or what I observed when I was growing up, I think that I was reaching a part where I was scared to just let go because it was getting closer and closer to we're really, you know, in a great

10:29marriage here and that's the next natural status completely fully let go. And I want to take a minute here to acknowledge everyone who's listening, take a minute and really think about your relationship that you're in. Are you wholly open emotionally? I don't mean your words. Anyone can say words, anyone can share their past, you can share your history. But are you completely emotionally open to the point of this other person where there is nothing, there are no barriers, you are not holding anything back. And I'll admit, I've always held a little to the side in fear of what if he leaves, what if something happens? I need to be able to stand on my own. I need to be able to walk away solidly. And there it is. I always had this fear that I would have to go it alone at some point. And so I've always lived with this fear of scarcity with this fear. And it's like the craziest thing because I never thought of it. I never truly thought of that as something that was going on. But it was. So working with Elizabeth brought this up to the surface. And I was like totally

11:35astounded. And so I'm taking measures and I'm taking steps for myself to really just open myself up and like to stop with being feeling like I still have to hold on to something, holding on to some sense of control for safety. I don't have to do that. That is a reaction to what I've observed in my life. And it's also the blocker for why things feel so much harder financially for me when I am doing very well. So it is all tied together in your energy. And I wanted to take a moment and bring this to the surface because now outside of your relationships, take a further step back. Is there something? Is there a deep seated rooted fear? Is there something that you observed and you have, it's resonated with you and stuck with you that is actually hurting you. If you really take a minute to really reflect and be in silence with yourself, something will probably crop up. Being alone with yourself in silence is probably one of the scariest

12:38things for some people to do because it means that you are letting yourself listen to your inner voice and listen to the creator. And it is going to raise things to the surface that might feel uncomfortable. But if you're able to do it and get over that hurdle and to release some of this tension and anxiety and fear and lack and scarcity from your core, the weight is lifted like you would not believe. So I'm going to leave you with that for today. I want you to think about that. I want you to reflect about that. I'm going to drop the link to the previous episode in the description here. And I think in that episode, there's links to contact Elizabeth and be able to engage with her. Elizabeth is also on LinkedIn. If you have a profile on LinkedIn, her last name is Kip KIPP. Again, she does not just one-on-one sessions, but she does group workshops. She does things and it is not expensive at all by any means. So it's definitely something I recommend trying out. Thank you all for hanging out with me today. I greatly appreciate all of you and I will catch you on the next one. Take care.