When Friendship Becomes a One-Way Street | Episode 455

0:00Hi everyone, it's Justin. I just wanted to reach out here on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. Thank you for joining us, whether you're watching and listening here in the United States or across the world. Without you, we want to have a show and if you can give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share. Those would be fantastic to help us reach our goal of helping at least 3 billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond. And if you can do us another huge favor, again, another free thing that you can do to help us. And that is to reach out to 25 or 50 of your contacts and your phone. Let them know about the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast that is centered on mental health, trauma, recovery, helping others. And again,

1:08that huge goal of helping over 3 billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond just the amazing time to be alive and just try not to take any day, any time for granted, which is something that is very easy to do. And part of that is we talk about self-care. We talk about getting enough rest each night as best as we can and going to just touch on one topic and we can laugh about it a little bit. So my sleep hygiene has really been pretty not great for a long time. Going to bed late, sometimes waking up early, others

2:17sleeping in, and not really taking advantage of the fullness of the day. And part of that with getting that extra rest, and I don't know if this all ties together or if it doesn't, I'm just going to give you what I'm experiencing. So number one, I'd say, so out of the 7 days of the week, probably maybe three to four, maybe four times a week, I wake up with just this aching back pain. And I've never had, and I know I know I'm getting older, so I'm susceptible to

3:24growing pains, not in the sense of children getting growing pains and growing and that, but I feel like I'm getting older and older and older by the day. And I am, we all are. And so this back pain is just very uncomfortable. So then I try to readjust how I'm sleeping. So I don't know if I'm sleeping out the wrong angle. I'm not sure, but it's something I haven't experienced before with this, this better sleep hygiene, where I'm going to bed earlier. And for the most part, I'm waking up a little earlier. And sometimes I wake up a little bit earlier because of the back pain. And it's uncomfortable. I don't mind, I guess waking up a little bit earlier, earlier,

4:40with this better sleep hygiene. Just having that back pain just really has me, you know, sometimes just like, oh my gosh. So I'm wondering how many of you out there watching and listening have the same thing, you know, sleeping, you know, awkwardly on our sides or on a different and an angle or I'm still trying to figure out like what's the best way. So I don't know if it if part of it is that because of my better sleep hygiene that I'm sleeping longer. So closer to nine possibly 10 hours a night, if just that amount of time by itself alone is

5:41is a part of this. So I'm not really sure, but it's frustrating because on one hand, I'm getting, you know, the sleep hygiene is getting much better. And then on the other hand, you know, this, this, you know, back pain and soreness is really impacting me. So I just want to start with literally, you know, human, human issues, growing issues, getting older issues, and wondering if anybody else any other viewer listener has in this experiencing, you know,

6:42this, this type of soreness and pain where it's like even, even when I feel it and I try to turn maybe the opposite way, it's still there for a while. It's a very, very interesting and and it has to do with mental health because I'm not able to, I don't say operate at like peak performance level and it just affects my mind too because, you know, the soreness really affects me. And so I have to take my time, you know, getting, getting up, getting started in the morning. And so we just want to start there on kind of the human condition, the anatomy,

7:43uh, of, of kind of getting older and it stinks this part. It is not a whole lot of, a lot of fun. Okay, so let's, let's move further into our episode today. There's times in our lives when we make decisions that are very hard and I can't share what, unfortunately I can't share what those are. For me, at this point, maybe able to comment at a later, later time, but right now, just not, not able to. But it's pretty, you know, pretty, pretty deep things, situations, events,

9:01that have occurred and part of, part of me, I haven't always had the confidence, I guess, as a way to kind of get started here, is, you know, we think of, you know, each other as, you know, we're going to live forever, even though we're not. And, and that we make the best decisions that we can with the information that we have. And that is no different than what I'm talking about here. The only difference is, is this has huge impacts on certain situations, events.

10:07However, those changes and the effect on the, you know, these larger, larger events that I'm referring to, is kind of a big, a big deal. And, having the confidence to make the decisions, to actually go forward and do it, is a different thing, right. They say hindsight is always 2020, where, where we look back on a particular decision, a particular event, a particular experience. And so we look at, look at that and, and go, wow, I wish I would have made this decision,

11:15or I wish I would have made that decision, excuse me. So hindsight's always 2020 to be able to be like, oh, well, now, now it, now it makes sense. I should have did this. I should have did that. So what I'm talking about now is, things that I've done, and the near term that were hard decisions, by good decisions. Let's just put it this way. Let's say, let's have a friend that we've, we've had for, I don't know, some, some length of time. And they're, they're just, we're constantly either being mean,

12:29not there when we need them, or any number of things. And we feel like, we don't have that support from this particular friend, this hypothetical friend. So we have the, we have the decision to make. Do we continue with this friendship, or mean colleagues, or acquaintances? So do we continue, or do we stop that? Right. Like, if we don't feel better, or on par, after conversations,

13:33with said person, for whatever period of time, it is, the made me that a friend, isn't a friend. And so it would be a hard decision to make, to say, hey, sorry, I just don't, I don't, I don't think this friendship is working for the both of us. And it can be a hard decision to make, right? Especially somebody like me, who is, I don't like confrontation. And so to go through with, excuse me,

14:44for those, those watching my, my dogs just kind of attacked me in a good way. She's not intended nervous. Then for those listening, you're just hearing, hearing jingle bells, which is around our dogs neck. But so there's this decision that we, we have to make at some point. It's either working or it's not. And what I'm talking about is more of kind of that acquaintance type of relationship. And so I can't get in the specifics right now.

15:59My message is, if you find yourself in these types of situations, be confident, be confident in your gut, your intuition. Something feels off. Maybe something is off. Meaning there, there's, there's just something that doesn't feel right. Don't feel that, again, that the relationship is, you know, if you're asking for help and you're not getting it, you have to make a decision to just go, again, go with the sheep and just follow like everybody else.

17:05Or do we say, enough is enough. And so recently, that has been a reality for, for me, for the organization. It is, you know, enough is enough. And as hard as it is to, to do it. And like I said, I'm not, not good at confrontation. The one there's a third party or somebody or an organization, they're trying to, you know, work through some things. And they aren't holding up during the bargain. That you can have that confidence to say, okay, this isn't working out.

18:14And not worry about it. I mean, I worry all the time. But sometimes like this, you have to be confident with the decisions that you make. Not every decision. Again, hindsight's always 2020. It's always easy to look back and go, I should have did this. I should have done that, blah blah blah. But in the moment, when a decision needs to be made, and right, each one of us has human characteristics and we have feelings. And when we don't feel those are being met, especially if we're paying somebody for a service, we should have all the confidence in the world,

19:23all the confidence in the world to do what? All the confidence in the world to make a decision for ourselves. Maybe our organizations, if we have one, and not to feel bad about making that decision, hard to make it very hard. But there's something called, I've had it. And enough is enough. We've all been part of conversations and friendships and different

20:28professional relationships and where others have told us, right? One reason or another, oh, this isn't going to work, you know, interviewing for a job. I mean, that's what I'm trying to do now. Part of what I'm doing. And then I get the dreaded, oh, well, you know, thank you for applying. We're no longer a hiring position. It's been filled. And so that sucks. And so as those organizations and people do those, those things, and as those messages come through, it should empower us that when we have the opportunity, if needed to do the same, especially when we're spending our own money,

21:38we should feel empowered to make those decisions, to say, you know what? I've had it. This business decision, this business relationship is done. And here are the reasons why. And sometimes we don't have to give the reasons. They're obvious. But recently, for me, I had so much evidence. Okay, Lucy. Hey, Lucy, I know you like seeing yourself on TV. Yeah, I know you do. I know. You want a belly rope. But at least stop.

22:43Please stop. Thank you. Thank you. So let's try to worry less, right? Let's discuss when things aren't working out. Okay, thank you, Lucy. That's it. That's enough. I'm going to have to sit you down, okay? I love to sit you down. Thank you. So that there's a song they're called, don't worry, be happy. Hard to easy to hear hard to do. Because then once we make a decision, we look back and go, oh, did I make the right decision? Okay, don't worry about it. If you have that gut feeling, you have that feeling in your heart,

23:52the things just weren't working out in your pain, lots of money, you shouldn't have to feel bad. You shouldn't feel bad. Because if you're paying somebody, that means there's money leaving your pocket and my pocket for somebody else. And if they're not holding up, they're under the bargain, we absolutely have the ability to say, no, I've had it. This is enough. And I no longer need your services. I'll be able to comment more on this at a later time, but want to definitely share

24:52what's going on in real time and to be empowered to make your decisions. It's hard to do, especially when we need help. When we need help and we're paying for it and we're not seeing the help, we're able to make those decisions that said, no more. I've been paying you for way too long. You haven't been holding up your under the bargain and move on to somebody that is going to help, that if you are

25:56going to have to pay, he's going to actually do their fucking job. Apologies for the line there. So thank you for joining us on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. If you can give us the big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share. That will greatly help us reach our goal of helping at least three billion people over the course of my lifetime. And beyond, help us reach over 3,000 cities across the world and help us reach over 300 countries, territories, provinces across the world. We're well over 110 countries, well over 1100 cities, worldwide. And it's all because of you. Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening.

27:00And if you can reach out to 25 of your contacts in your phone, let them know about the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. If you can et see on it, you can Voices for Voices on it. So hope you have a great day and we will see you on the next episode of the show. Bye for now.