We're House Poor And Living Paycheck-to-Paycheck

0:00Brought to you by the EveryDollar app, start budgeting for free today. I don't know if we'll be able to continue making house payments because my husband is a spend-drift, and we can't keep up with our monthly minimums due to how much of that he's racked up in the year that we've had, that we bought our house, and now we are paycheck to paycheck for health books. What has he racked up? $12,000 in credit card debt in the year. Okay, what is the minimum payment on that $12,000? So it's all different, it's six different, actually, seven different credit cards. Oh, okay. The monthly minimums, yeah, are about $715 a month for all of them. What's your mortgage payment? Yeah. $3,138. What's your combined incomes? So I'm not currently working, well, I'm a paid-home mom.

1:00He makes met $140,000 a year. Okay. And is he feeling this way? We know you are. Is he feeling this? I don't think he's feeling it as much as... He's definitely not feeling it as much as I am, but I laid it all in front of him, basically, like everything on paper. And he kind of bought it, I think, but this is back in November. And at the time, he had agreed. He loves Guarana and Sezel. And I don't hate them, but he thinks that it's fine to pay the pay-in-for-things because no interest or whatever. He agreed in November not to spend on those for Christmas gifts. And I thought that we were on the same page. He had agreed and come to find out he actually did use Guarana and Sezel. And he actually just finished paying off the last payment this past week.

2:03But we almost weren't able to make our car payment. We had to try to get scrounge around for cash to pay for our car payment. So this was very recent, and I want to get Jade involved here, but I'm just kind of gathering some more information here. What was his... what were the comments? What has the conversation been? We know what happened in November. Now here we are just the other day scrambling around for quarters, if you will, to make a car payment. What was the conversation then? It's almost like he doesn't really want to have the conversation. It's almost like he's been in his head in the sand. He doesn't want to face consequences. And a little backstory. He is a recovering alcoholic. And I really truly believe that the spending is because it's what's great place. It's a replacement. That changes the equation. Jade, I know you've got thoughts. I want you to weigh in here for her.

3:04Well, I mean definitely the reveal of the past alcoholism plays a big role in this. Hey guys, George here with an important heads up. Mortgage interest rates just dropped, and that is great news if you've been holding off on house hunting or refinancing. But it also means a lot of other people are about to jump back into the market. And my good friends at Churchill Mortgage will give you a custom plan and a special offer so you can buy or refinance the smart way before the market shifts. So go check it out by going to churchhillmortgage.com slash ramsieoffer. That's churchhillmortgage.com slash ramsieoffer. This is a paid advertisement in the MLS ID 1591 in the MLS consumer access.org equal housing lender. A reveal of the past alcoholism plays a big role in this. I wonder would he be open? Have you said that to him that you're this is your fear and this is how you're perceiving this? I have said it to him. We actually are in marriage counseling. We're in individual counseling. Great. Okay, good. Which thankfully it's covered by our insurance. We have he has very good insurance for the job.

4:04Great. We are in marriage counseling, but so far it we're working on addressing it, but it's like slow going. It's not getting anywhere. It's getting. Yeah, it's very slow going. Okay. Yeah, I mean, we can talk about numbers, but this really is just beyond a numbers equation. I mean, just really quickly, I can tell you your mortgage is 35% of your take home pay. It seems like which is already a little high. I mean, it's nothing to like freak out over. But when you add 715 bucks a month of credit card debt, yeah, you're going to feel it. So that's the mechanics, you know, numbers wise of why you're feeling this a little bit more, but the truth is until he gets a handle on why he's spending and what the issue is, it's going to be a problem. Now, I don't know if you've suggested this in counseling. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. If I were in your shoes, what I would bring to my counselor is this. I would say I believe clearly my husband has struggled with addiction.

5:05I think that he has found a way to not use alcohol anymore, but I feel like it's shifted to spending. And because of that, I'm starting to think that maybe for a season I should be the one to handle. Yeah. The finances since his addiction seems to be functioning in our money. Do you handle those problems? I had a question about that anyway. It's a very good point. Do you handle the finances or is he? Interesting to say that. I have been asking to do the budgeting and everything as a partnership together so far. He has not really wanted to do it. He just wants me to do it. But at the same time, he just recently put his direct deposit into the joint account. Up to now, literally last week, it hasn't been. So he finally put in the joint account and he is kind of like washed his hands of it. Great news. That is great news. Now, I want to jump in really quick because our time is limited. Practically speaking, do you both have car payments?

6:05There's just one. I thought I heard a car payment. It's just his. Yeah. Minus paid off. Okay. Because I'm wondering what you can start to do since he's taking the hands off. So we need to look at selling that car. That's going to be a tough conversation. But I'm looking at what are some quick things. I get it. I get it. It's why I acknowledged. It may not be the right one to go after right now. But with you now taking over the finances, what can you do? Can you cancel the credit cards? If your name's on them, you cancel the credit cards today. Let's make this a real pain for him. Jade, I want to bring you back into that. You got about a minute. What would you practically do if you were her? I would. I would make it more formal. I love that he shifted it that way. But I would almost, like I said, with your counselor decide the best way to do this, he doesn't need access to the money on his own. He just doesn't, because he's proven that he can't control spending. And that is an addiction. Spending is an addiction, especially it looks like it in his case. And so I would take a little tougher stance on that and say, OK, when you say I'm in charge of the money, that means I'm going to distribute in the way that I'm going to distribute it.

7:09Which this is only for a season until you can get well again. And then we'll be really 50-50 on this again. And I would take a pretty strong stance on that because your family, their safety is at stake and so is yours. Create your free every dollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.