We Never Saw This Coming

0:00It's crazy because so when all of this was happening, I'm driving up the 405, I was headed to see a friend of mine over in Compton. And Chris called me and I'm just like, so I see his number come up on the call ID and I'm like, okay, I mean, Chris and I talk a couple times a year but not like all the time. So I was like, okay, what's going on? And he told me, Welcome to another episode of Love Growth and Narratives. I'm Tiffany. And I'm Fredrick. And today is our 70th episode. The one you've been waiting for and the one we've been waiting to record are very special guests will be revealed on this episode. But let me get you started first. What's going on here? So about three to four weeks ago at this point, Freddie gets a phone call from a childhood friend that he doesn't speak to very often but they're friends, you know, and friends on Facebook.

1:01And Chris is his name and Chris says, Hey man, there's this guy who reached out to me on Facebook. That's trying to reach you because he says that you might be his father. And he is the father. And I am the father. And he is my dad. So meet Joe Mar. The newest member of the family. Yet he was there first. You know, which is very interesting. So welcome, Ming, Jamar to all the way from Texas. Welcome to the show so that he could tell this amazing story. Yeah. So Jamar, we want to hear from your standpoint how this whole journey started towards finding me. It's something that I thought about. It's something that I didn't think about. But it's also something that I thought never bothered me. You know, and then just kind of just coming to the point where it's just like, all right, nice time. I need to find out. Yeah. And so we, me and Danny ordered an ancestry kit and put those results in.

2:06Wait on the kit. Pay for a priority to get it shipped faster. And it came in a reasonable amount. But yeah, put in for the kit and we end up getting the results back at night Saturday night. While we were traveling back from Italy and then, yeah, it was, it was everything. But yeah, end up getting the results, started the house and yeah, it was. Now what were the results? Right. Okay. But the results were I was a 24% match to a lady and the name that I could see was cook and her. And so on ancestry didn't. It's not showing me her full name. I wasn't able to find her full name. So Danny was like, hey, let's screenshot it and put it on Google. That's what we did with screenshot it. They put it on Google and I think I found Gretchen like the fourth person after we have compared Facebook searches and I just kind of didn't know where to start it from. So I just started digging for her number. I started looking at Facebook's comments. I started looking through her Facebook and finding out that she had a brother.

3:08And so I'm like, okay, is it multiple brothers or is it just one? And so we went back a couple years. Good thing she keeps her Facebook open. Yeah, she does. So on Gretchen's Facebook we went back a couple years and only seen one guy. And then when I found your Facebook, I'm like pretty good. Never heard of it. You know what? And I only found your Facebook and I seen on a post from years ago, think Gretchen tagged you in it. It was you in uniform and I was like, makes all the sense. You know, I'm like, good. Now they're forced basis. This is the connection it has to be. But now we're just going through it and right now my mind is just going. I couldn't even sleep good that night. Like, you know, I probably got a couple hours of sleep. Woke up the next day, not even the next day. Woke up in a couple hours. And I was like, up my search began. Did a search found Gretchen's number? Found was it out of Atlanta? Could you ask Jeff? I was able to locate Jeff's number and no answer at this point.

4:10I waited to eight o'clock Eastern time. Yeah. You know, to start calling people. I'm going to call too early. Right. It's a pressing matter. Yeah. You know, absolutely. Yeah. Now I just kept searching, kept searching. And then on one of your posts, Chris Miller had, had birthday and then he added like a couple extra comments to us. Oh, maybe he might know him pretty good. So I clicked on Chris's profile and it took me to his Instagram and coming to find out he has a gem. Yeah. Looked the gem up. I called that gem. I called him. Which went to his cell phone. He didn't answer at first then. Called me back and he was kind of just stunned. And he was like, what? Come again. You know, you know, not knowing if it's a scam or whatever. But yeah, but yeah, called Chris and next thing, you know, 20, 30 minutes later, I get a call. They kind of changed everything for me. Yeah. So it's crazy because so when all of this was happening, I'm driving up the 405.

5:12I was headed to see a friend of mine over in Compton. And Chris called me and I'm just like, so I see his number come up on the call ID and I'm like, okay, I mean, Chris and I talked a couple times a year, but not like all the time. So I was like, okay, what's going on? And he told me, initially what he said was, man, this guy looking for you. I'm like, what's somebody looking for me? You know, and then he said, he thinks you might be his father. And I almost ran off the road. Like, oh, no, hold on. Now that I know how you drive. Luckily, no one would believe that because everyone knows what a calm driver I am. So, you know, yeah. So it was like, it was crazy. But he was like, he's like, he's like, this is a really cool guy. I can tell he's really cool. And I'm like, okay, because Chris don't like everybody. Right. So when he says,

6:14that's a cool guy. I'm like, okay, that's a, that's a pretty good endorsement. So, all right. So got off the phone with Chris. And first person I call is Tiffany, because I was just like, okay, let me see how I'm going to approach his conversation with my wife, you know, and, and you were, Yeah, I was just in shock. Like what? You know, I, I don't think at this point, I didn't know anything about the age or whatever. I mean, obviously you're old enough to call somebody on Facebook, right? But I still was just like, wait, what? Like what? Like just, I was just in shock. Yeah, so it was, it was interesting. And, you know, I, I didn't know what to make of it. And so I called you and, I was like, you know, where you from? He said, San Angelo. Yeah. And, you know, I asked your bird, they asked your mama's name. And then when you told me your mother's name, I was like, Oh, okay.

7:15All right. The plot thickens. Okay, because I remember her. Okay. All right. So yeah, um, what were you thinking around this whole time? Guess I was more anxious about it, about the whole conversation. Like, how's it going to go? Is he going to accept it? Is he a good guy? Or, you know, and it's just, just more anxious about the whole situation. And it was just, but yeah, but I also wanted to get it over with. Yeah. Get it over with and just know the other side of my family. And just, yeah. Yeah. And, and Danny is going through all of this with you. So yeah, she's right there. She's watching. So what, what was, what was she thinking throughout this whole thing? Because it seems like you just kind of went down a rabbit hole there. And so what was she going down these rabbit holes? She, she knows the lead me along. She's like, she convinced me to stop. But no, but down it in she just embraced it.

8:15Yeah, that's what it is. Embraces, you know, it took a couple of hours to put it all together, find the contacts and do all of that. But yeah, she just got up, made sure it's for the kids and then braced it and just gave him a little space. Yeah, because after I talked to you and I was talking to you as I was driving home. And I was, I was seeing, you know, the stuff you were talking about, I was like, there's similarities between the way you are and the way I am. And, and then I started to think, okay, let me make sure I'm not just imagining stuff. Yeah, let me make sure I'm not romanticized and stuff. So it was just like, you know, it was, it was so much. I think, I think at least those first two nights, I didn't sleep. Yes. I was just, and I'm going to jump in and go back just to tiny bit because I don't think it was very clear that Freddie was in the army and he was stationed in Texas. I went to, I went to one of my intelligent schools at Goodfellow Air Force Base in San Angelo, Texas.

9:17Right. So he was 19 and he was there about six months. No, I was there for almost a year, actually. Okay, almost a year. Almost a year. And so he had no idea about any, not even close to it. It was just a shock. Yeah. So actually, he's the first born. Jamar's the first born. Yes, but that was a lot of fun. You know, calling my daughter and saying, yeah, you're not the oldest anymore. And, you know, because Kairna are very close and so I was talking to her about it. And I was like, so what you think? And she was like, I will think about it right after the paternity test comes back. She's like, I'm not one to jump full. No, no, she wasn't, she wasn't going to do it. So yeah, it was, it was a wild ride. And it was just like, my mind was just blown. I'm just like all over the place. I can't even think straight. Wild, but short because this all happened in such a great,

10:19great Jamar finds out on a Saturday night. And by Sunday, he'd actually found him. And then I think you ordered the paternity tests like that day or two later. Was it Tuesday? It was Tuesday. It was Tuesday. And the results came back the following week, 99.99%. Like everything was looking like boom, boom, boom, boom. This wasn't a, I'm looking for Freddie Cook for 20 years. Tyberto think, you know, no, it just was like all within. And it's crazy because I knew that I felt like there was a really strong chance that you were my son just for a lot of reasons. But I was like, I think we need to confirm this. Right. And then I was like, I didn't know how to bring it up to you. So I was like, okay, he's from Texas. So he knows football. So that's when I was like, well, you marched that ball 99 yards. Let's just go ahead and put it in the end zone. But I have a paternity test. And you were like, cool, let's do it. I was like, all right, let's do it. So I ordered from one of those kind of companies

11:23that I had to find a company that would send the tests to two different addresses because not all of them were, not all of them are set up for that for some reason. So I found a company that would send in two different, the two different addresses. And it only took a couple days before we received it. Yeah. And in fact, you were out of town when you received yours. Yeah, we were in Dallas, then. Yeah. And you were checking your email about a hundred times. Is there, yeah, is there, is there, is there, is there, is there, is there. I've never done refresh so much on my email. And I called them, cause I sent the test back on Thursday, you sent yours back on Friday, on Saturday. And I called them on Monday, and I was like, I just wanna make sure you got both of them. And I called a couple times, and finally a lady called me back, she was like, look, we got it. We got it. Oh, yeah. So yeah, it was just, it was awesome. It was awesome. And my family like immediately got excited.

12:26Mm-hmm. You know, between my sisters, of course, they just kind of ran with it. Right. You know, as if you were their child all the sudden. Yeah, I didn't first call. I was, you know, with Richard. Yeah. He's one of us. Yeah. Oh, she was like, Yeah. Gretchen called me and she was like, oh yeah, he's ours. I was like, you know, can you let things sink in for a minute real quick? But, yeah, I mean, it's been, it's been crazy. Cause it's like, and I, you know, everybody around, everybody around us knows. And it's weird because every time I would kind of tell one of my friends, the first thing they would say is, what did Tiffany say? Yeah. Oh. I said, yeah, this was three decades before I met Tiffany. So, yeah. Yeah. But, yeah. So it's been great. So in terms of your journey, you know, growing up and everything, what was it like growing up, you know,

13:26not knowing who your father is and just going through all of that? Man, it was, like we used to think about it, of course. You know, it was gonna cause everybody's head, but it was just, you know, I was kind of raised to just deal with it. Yeah. Just deal with it, move past it, and it's like, at that time, I couldn't control it. Right. So always kind of been headstrong to just deal with it and just keep pushing and just let it, try not to let it affect my day to day life. But in all reality, it did, you know, but it's just like, but also it wasn't out of the normal for me, my group of my brother, my cousins, and everybody for us, not to have word that around. Right. It was like normal around, around us. So it's like, you know, there are certain male figures in their community that used to try to help, but, you know, they wasn't there daily. You know, they wasn't there daily to stay on our, stay on our tells daily to push us to, you know, we'll see them once every couple of weeks and try to hide from them, like, oh, man,

14:27we don't wanna get this preaching from so and so on. You know, but, yeah, but no, it was, it was definitely, once we find out, it was definitely something strange to me. Yeah. You know, cause I just don't know how to process it. In terms of, I know the value of it that, because I'm not a father, you know, and I take that real serious to being in front of all my kids, you know, and, yeah, but it's just, as far as them me, I never just too much, gave it too much thought or, yeah. Now, do you think that you are as active of a father because you didn't grow up with yours? Yes, most certainly. So it's just like the things that I have to go through in my life, I made it a point to make sure that my kids don't go through that. Right. As far as, you know, I just want them to be more disciplined and do the right thing, you know, and just work hard towards something. You know, so it's like, my oldest will tell you,

15:29like, you know, I put mail through hell when it comes to his physical fitness and how he thinks and think for yourself and just process everything and question everything, but also work hard. And, you know, don't think that, don't take things for granted. But yeah, not, but yeah, I pushed them and some might say I pushed them a lot too much, but raise the great kid, you know. Yes, you did. You know, it's definitely this. Getting emotional, talk about mail because he come out to a great son. So, so awesome. Oh, yeah, so it worked, you know. Yeah. And definitely had an impact on just like, I have to beat her, especially being removed from for a few years. Yeah. You also. I cannot say enough. I know I said it to you this before, I got to actually be true in person. I'm like, you landed in the greatest family, you know? And then as getting to know you, I'm like, they couldn't have had a better situation back.

16:30Like, it's just unbelievably the perfect situation. I mean, I just think it's great how it turned out because I know, like you said, some people, you don't know how he was going to react like, what? I don't know who you are. And I'm going to do, you know, I'm done right in my kid. I mean, you're older, right? And then or you might be like, oh, you know, like what I'm like, that's my dad. And you know, you just don't know, right? But look at just how nice it is. You know, it's so awesome. And it just feels so right and natural. It does. And so, um, weekend before last, we had a Zoom session with the family and everything with my other two sons, our daughter, she wasn't on, but my parents, my sisters, and it was like as soon as everybody was on, it was just like a regular family Zoom because we do that periodically.

17:32It didn't feel, it didn't feel anything different. And it was like, you just fit right in to the family. And so everybody was excited. You know, this is the most I've talked to my sisters and, and I love my sisters and we're close and everything, but, you know, they're all over the place. You got a lot of stuff going on, but this is the most that I've talked to my sisters in a while, you know, because they were so excited about you. And then Gretchen having talked to you and, you know, and of course she had you on FaceTime before I did, you know, and she's inspecting like every mannerism and... She's like, did your head off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it was just, so she's calling, you know, texting both of us, telling us, oh, yeah, well, I see this, this is something that you do, this is something that you do. You know, I think she welcomed you to the family like immediately.

18:33Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Setting up, you know, family reunions and everything. Yeah. Yeah, they already stuck you on the tree, you know. Yeah. So it's been a great situation. And you just came out this weekend to meet in person. So that was just awesome that everything just happened so quickly. Like, and I love it. I love that, you know, we're here, we drove around, and you guys got to talk some more on your own. Yeah. And one of the things I always wanted was grandkids. I really wanted grandkids. And so last weekend, you know, you and I were talking on the phone and little seven-year-old Maria runs over and says, hey, grandpa, and I just, I just melted. I just, you know, I was like, this is all, this is what I wanted. This is what I wanted, you know, and she's a sweetheart. So it's just, let you call it a day.

19:36Yeah. I was like, wow, this is what grand dads go through. And it's like, yes, you can have whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's been awesome. I wasn't quite sure, you know, how much else you wanted to talk about in terms of your upbringing or your young adulthood or anything else. It's, it's, it's totally, it's totally up to you. So tell me how growing up without a father impacted you. Oh. That in the bad, maybe. Yeah. It was, I guess just looking back on it, it was just, you know, we missed a lot of the disciplinary, which I feel like fathers kind of put that into their sons, sons especially. But yeah, we just were not just free to do whatever, but we was, we had a lot of free will coming up to kind of explore and then, you know, but then all the, a lot of the male

20:37figures who were around, you know, wasn't the best influences. You know, as far as, you know, making sure that we done the right thing. You know, so that was another obstacle in life. It's just like, I always wanted to be great and be great at everything I do, you know, and at the beginning of life, I was just great at the wrong things. You know, when I was, you know, I was in this environment, you know, we're all the cousins, uncles, what are distant uncles, whatever, everybody was kind of involved in selling drugs and drinking and went in and just, but he was just everything, you know, but it's just like, you know, yeah, we kind of just went down the wrong path. No, it was tough to get through, tough to get through and then it's still a little tough to talk about, you know, I'm not too big on emotions and showing on them.

21:38And, you know, I was just taught to just tough it through, you know, my mom is a tough lady. Loud, you know, real loud, you know, love it. Yeah, she's a tough lady, but like she put a lot of, you know, grit in us, you know, like, be great, be great at what you do, right? Be great at what you do and just the personality, you know, my mom's a real outgoing personality, real loud person and something like call me loud, you know, but it's, well, I fits in with the cooks too. We're all loud too. So it's, yeah, but in being that, but it's like, man, I was hanging with the wrong crowd, you know, whether it was family members or close cousins, close friends that we grew up with, that I grew up with and just kind of, you know, I kind of idolized those guys at points, you know, and it was just like, people who I call my uncles, I idolized what they did. I idolized the drug trade, wanting to be a high status on them, thinking it was cool,

22:40thinking it was, you know, and it was, you know, just let me show you, let me show you and it was just like, you know, I was just kind of feeling always kind of felt lost to the point where I wanted better, but when I was trapped in this environment, how can I get better in this environment and I'm waking up here in every day, you know, and it was just like, kind of felt like the walls were closed and on us and it was just tough because it's like, there was times where I stopped selling drugs. I'd be like, man, I want to do better, but it's just like, stop selling drugs and go do what? How am I going to provide? Right. You know, and one time I stopped selling drugs and it was after high school when I found out, Mel was on the way. You know, found out that his mom was pregnant and it's just like, just didn't know it. I didn't know it way out. And so it was, it was tough. It was tough, but it's, you know, eventually got through it, you know, but, you know, after the send and send of getting in trouble, catching two drug cases and, you know, catch the first

23:46case and it's 19 of us, you know, all family related, close friends and it's just like, man, you know, catching a case, going down that path with your family, you know, it just felt wrong, you know, but then getting out, continuing the mistakes. Yeah, but now it was, it was tough. It was tough. And so, but I always had my strong will one day. It worked out. Yeah. So what was, what was the turning point for you that led you to say, I can't do this anymore? Man, or were there multiple? It's multiple, but I kind of, I go back to one. Right. Once I get sentenced to 15 years in TDC, I go down there, first week, I'm in trouble. My stills out of my locker. I put my hands on, I catch a case, almost called an assault case.

24:50And it's just like, it just didn't make sense to me. So I was full of anger, full of, you know, full of emotions and didn't know how to bottle those up, right? You know, didn't know how to navigate through it. Yeah, got through it, but after going through some trouble in there and just making my way through life and trying to figure out a way through the TDC system itself and yeah, feeling like I saw no one 15 years. So it's like, don't know how long I'm going to get out. Yeah. You know, so. But no, keep it going. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's tough. Yeah. Just being in there. No, but got a son out, you know, but but now in there, it was a, it was a guy who I got real close with, a German Hendrick Tattle for work.

25:52Young guy, same age. We had similar cases. He had two drug cases. I had two drug cases. We both had two, 15 years sentences around. And so man, him kind of bonded and he'll see me. I was angry after I called that case, but I was more angry because I felt like, why am I being punished for somebody stilling for me? Right. You know, and it was just like, they're like, what do you do different? I'm not doing nothing different. Right. I'm going to do it again if he, you know, like, but it's like I was just resulted to anger. Yeah. You know, but after that, I was just angry for months. Yeah. For months and kept getting in trouble, kept getting in trouble. So, Germany just asked me one question one day. He was like, man, how much time you want to do on that 15? And that kind of stuck with me a lot. It bothered me when he asked it to me. I was just never thought about it, but going down the way I was going to be down there,

26:52probably still would have been him for it. Yeah. You know, but, yeah, but, yeah, just angry and just felt like my back was against the wall. But always kind of had a strong mind of pushing myself through it. And after that conversation, I just kind of wanted to do better. And I said I got better at that moment. Right. But that was the starting point to like, just going to take a one day at a time. Let's get better today. Yeah. You know, sometimes I used to lay down on the bunk in the cell and just meant today was a bad day. Yeah. You know, I did some things I didn't want to do. Right. But try to eliminate those bad days and just make every day a good successful day. Just, you know, and now just kind of feel like with life, you just take a day by day and just as long as you progress and, and are satisfied with what you did that day. Yeah. Just live with it, get past it and go on and keep pushing. But, but now, but outside of that, that started a whole chain reaction.

27:55Just just started to open up my mind and just reach like what are the possibilities? What can I really achieve in getting out of here? How can I get out of here? What do I need to do? Because at the time I wasn't working, I was using my, my fracture, help him, my scoliosis as a excuse not to work. And so it takes you don't have to work. As long as you've got some type of medical problems, they're not forced you to go to work. Okay. And so I lifted the restrictions. I lifted my work restrictions and because I'm fully capable of working. Sure. You know, but that was just a way to get over on the system. Right. You know what? But now, let's, let's, let's do my work restrictions and just got to work. I had to learn how to work in there. I never worked before. So it's like I had to learn to work with my hands and at the time I had to get my hands there, I still had to get in the dirty. You know, but now I'm walking. Yeah, I still have that problem. I work pretty hard, but it's just like always want to keep my hands clean. But it's like, yeah, so, but yeah, just working in the system, just kind of navigating my

28:57way through TDC and ended up, man, I ended up running into some, to some pretty good lieutenants who helped me out and will push me to work and, you know, and just appreciate the work. Yeah. You know, I just learned to just a lot of guys will complain because it takes us, you don't get paid for it. You know, and so we're just out there working for free. Yeah. I didn't get tired, didn't get work because I needed, I know I needed the skills to work because I didn't have nothing else to fall back on. Yeah. I didn't have no education to fall back on. I didn't have no skill at the time to fall back on. I don't think I had was my personality. You know, and how I am right now, I'm still the, I was still the same person. Right. You know, I was still loud. I was still smiling. I was still, you know, the uplifting person, but yeah, it was just a little different, but yeah, TDC was just, you know, so once I figured out what I was trying to do, I just

29:57took it one day at a time and just started working and ended up getting trustee status. End of getting trustee status. What is trustee status? And so the trustee status is just like what you see on the movies where you'll see the trustees outside in a community working stuff like that, but it's like, I was a S2 and I was still leaving a transfer unit. So transfer unit is in theory, a unit where they send you to whenever you leave the intake unit and takes it, they send you to a transfer unit for a max of two years. And so in theory, they want you to make parole from this transfer unit. Right. But I had a 15 year sentence. So I had two years and 11 months to see parole. And so I wasn't going to make parole from there, but I stayed, stayed at the real unit about probably 19 to 21 months. Okay. So, yeah. But, and so when I left the real unit, I ended up getting a trustee status. And so the real unit was outside of Lubbock, Texas. And I got shipped over to the price Daniels unit, which was a unit nobody wanted to be at.

31:02You know, they just, that's where a lot of the federal judges were at. There's where a lot of the trans were at. That's where, you know, it was just, but I was a trustee there. And so I used to work at the warehouse out in Snyder, Texas. And so that was my first like actual job. The TDC was working at the warehouse and I was the warehouse clerked. And so I go around checking inventory and just making sure that the trucks were loaded properly with the right inventory to ship off to the 23 units that they have in West Texas. You know, so our distribution was out of the West Texas area. And so what, when I got there, those guys were telling us about trades. Like, man, you'll be able to move around pretty much move from to a different unit if you put in for a trade. And so there was down in the education building, there's a list of trades where you could put in for. And I just kind of put in for whatever. Yeah. You know, I didn't have any interest in anything particular. I just wanted to do put in for something that I put in for electrical trade and getting it.

32:05And so they shot me way over to Tennessee, calling me, which is six hours from where I was at. To East Texas. And so I stayed in Tennessee calling it at the George Bito unit. And it was the unit itself. It was just one long hallway with like 3700 people. And so like, and like, y'all was here stories about Bito. You know, like Bito is just a dangerous place to be in. But I'm blessed because I had a trustee status. Right. And so they're like, hey, literally take your shit, go out that gate and walk. Walk up about a half a mile to a mile so you hit that camp and turn left. You know, so end up going to the trustee camp and end up just meeting a lot of pivotal people on the way. If the trustee camp that kind of helped me and so if the trustee camp, that's when I started really focusing on my body and started working now. If the trustee camp, you can walk out 24 or seven.

33:05Oh, wow. Walk us out, walk to the day room. And we were about a thousand yards off the Trinity River, massive river out there. And it was just been able to see that. But the Bito unit, they, it helped me a lot just from, just from the physical fitness part of it. Just getting my body and shit. It was softball field. Why are you still run laps around? Yeah. Yeah, it was just peaceful to go and hit the weights, go run. And it was just routine just doing it every day, going to the trade, took the six month trade, electrical trade, which was pretty easy, pretty easy. And just showed me how to wire up things and our final project was wiring up a clock. You know, about a thousand wires. It's, you know, so wire in up a clock and just, but they just kind of peaked my interest. You know, I wasn't too necessarily interested in electrical. I was just, I just wanted some type of education. Right. And so what I'm out there and with the big difference about Bito for me and my mindset was, I wasn't getting visits.

34:10And so Ed, when I was out in West Texas, I was able to get a visit every weekend or every other weekend. So I was able to see, I was able to see Mel. Right. They were to see my family. You know, when I went to Bito, now I'm six hours, six, seven hours away from house and that's a hard. Yeah, that's a hard drive to drive out there for a two, three hours. Right. You know, so it's like, I had kind of got to a point where I was homesick, you know, and the anger came back. Yeah. You know, and it's, yeah, the anger started coming back. I ended up putting in for a hardship. And so that hardship, I got granted and they shipped me back close to within a couple of hours of your family. And so I ended up going to Colorado City to the Wallace unit. And when I made it to the Wallace unit, that's probably the biggest pivot of my life. You know, just at the Wallace unit, I was able to work for Lieutenant Silva, even though we don't,

35:16we never physically spoke outside of prison, but it's just like if I see him today, that's I would consider him a friend. Wow. You know, as far as in like, hey, you know, he really showed me how to work. Showed me how to operate a weed eater. Showed me how to, you know, just mentally push through things. And you know, we're hauling this hay and it's just like, hey, take pride in whatever you're doing. Right. You know, and so it's like now, but yeah, that Wallace unit just helped shape my work ethic, helped sharpen it up. Yeah. You know, because we had a lot of people who used to work with who didn't work as hard. Right. We're getting paid for free or we're trustees, so we get to eat like burgers and stuff. You know, so guys have worked to lunch and that'll be it. Yeah. You know, we had these softball fields we used to take care of too. So it's just like, I took pride in it. Yeah. Just took pride in it because it's just like, I just felt like I had to. Yeah. And it's just not me to half as or not be fully committed to something. Sure. You know, and even in that dark, even in that dark space, but, uh, don't go on and on.

36:22But man, that, no, it's good. That pivot, that pivot of meeting Lieutenant Silver and just meeting the court group of guys that I was with at the Wallace unit, who, me and Julio, one of our great friends of mine now, him and Tay, we still talk occasionally. Yeah. Julio talk about two or three times a week. Yeah. And he's doing great out there in Houston, but we also, we used each other to help up lift each other. That's what we have. There's a different bond that we have. Yeah. Sometimes too, we did time together, but we're also doing time together out here trying to help navigate, navigate the world, you know, and just motivate each other. And so when he got something good, he can tell me he's going to call and he's telling me that good to motivate me. Right. When I do something good, I call him and we're just both excited about each other. And so we're just able, we're able to just kind of help lead each other through it. We don't have plenty of conversations where we didn't cry with each other.

37:22You know, and because it's gotten tough, you know, you know, you know, when I end up making my fourth parole, I got three one year set off. And so I made my fourth parole. When I made parole, I had another seven months to be released. And we're seven months of my life, you know, where seven months of my life, because I want to leave now. Yes, absolutely. So I want to leave now, but I really quick, is that typical that when someone gets parole, there's still a long time before they actually get released? Yes. And so I got what you call a FI two. A FI two is like 60 or 90 days to a year to. FI one, you're leaving roughly 30 to 45 days. Okay. FI three is a was a FI three is a program. I think they got five and six, but those are like program related. But yes, so yeah, FI two, so yeah, I had seven months until I, from my formal notification

38:27of me making parole that seven months from that point. And so once I made parole, it was just once I made parole, and there it was tough because it's like, I want to leave now, but was I really know? Right. It hit me. I got scared all again, all over again. The anger, the emotions came back because now everything that I have said to my family and my son, I have to now come out here and prove it because I miss five and a half years. And it was life. You know, and just I'm just so thankful for his mom. You know, to be able to still bring him to me and be so open minded about the situation but yeah, but now I was in the, I have to prove it. I had to prove it. And so it was just like now the weights back. Now the weights back now, this routine that we had every day, it's prison is so easy to get through. Yeah. The routine we had every day, now it's broken because now I'm about to be released and

39:31I have to really live up to it and then right not only that, but like just trying to stay away from negative people who, who claim to be happy that you may parole, but the right, really happy in your best interests. Right. You know, they're really more envy in you for going home and it's just like on my saying, no, I did my time. Yeah. Yeah. No, I served my time. You know, I did my whatever you did, they didn't got nothing to do with me. Right. You know, the amount of time that you got, you know, but it's, but yeah, but it was scary. It was scary just facing it because it's just like you hit her stories of people in prison who, especially like the guys who've been back in prison two, three, four times. Yeah. About. And I can generally like, you can believe it when they say it that they, that it's hard out there, that it's hard that you're not going to be able to get a job, that you're not going to be able to do this and not going to be able to do that and they honestly believe that. Yeah. But in my mind, that was that story. Right. You know, they scared me for a little bit.

40:33Yeah. That was also their story. Right. And so I wanted to let their story or any of my family story right now. And so I just kind of like, man, well, I can just go out there and try. You know, I can just go out there and try and just see what I can make of it. See what I can make of it and just take it day by day. Yeah. You know, and yeah. So going through that circumstance and realizing that you needed to change, that you needed to do better. And I take a step back and I'm sorry. So I want to talk about again, because this came out of asking about like, you know, what was like to not have your father. One thing I want to be a message that I want people to hear is, of course, the ideal situation is to have at least two people in the home who are going to be able to do it. Right. Yes. And the quality of the people is what really counts. It's not enough in my opinion, just to say I had a moment of that. It's like the quality of them because you had males around you, but they were doing

41:37the wrong thing, right? And sometimes that's someone's dad showing them that. But you also had other males around you that your friends now and you guys are supporting each other through this right. So the quality of who people are, that is really important. Absolutely. And I wouldn't want anyone who, I don't want kids, especially boys, especially black boys to think because they didn't have their father, that's, they're doomed. That's it. No way out of light, you know, it's never really better. This is your situation. It's what it's dealt and that's it. Your story is a testament to that. You can still do your absolute best and then be the father you always wanted to have on top of it. So you can break the cycle. You can change the situation. Absolutely. And that's that's something I definitely wanted to point out in here. No, and I definitely agree and I'm glad that you brought that up. But I was trying to figure out was as you're making these changes to, to be better, to

42:37wanting to change your life, how difficult was that amongst the, the guys there? Did they see it? Did they notice it? Or did they, how did they feel about it? Man. Well, in here, man, it's a lot of, I always say there's a lot of great people who have made horrible mistakes. Yeah. But they're, they have great intentions. They're great people and they love to see. For the most part, they love to see you do good. You do good. Get out, go do good. But also there's the other side who don't want you to go do good though. They envy you. Right. The type of personality you might have. Yeah. But the reason I wanted you to talk about that is because, you know, those of us who've never been there, we're looking at the movies. Right. TV shows where everybody in there is evil. Right. Right. No, and that's not, and it's just, it's not the case. Right. It's not the case. Like it's the most, second grade of place you ever can be.

43:41Yeah. It's the most loving place too. But, but no, there's a lot of great people. Yeah. A lot of great people with a lot of knowledge, a lot of educated people and talented people. Yeah. They made a mistake. Yes. It was drunk driving or there was a lot of intoxication manslaughter. Yeah. A lot of drug cases, a lot of financial crimes and stuff like that. But it's, but no, there was great people. Yeah. Great people who I owe a lot to, you know, and gratitude to them, but it's just, but now they helped. Yeah. It helped because it's just like they seem meeting at my age, young and kind of full of potential and kind of somebody who they said, like, didn't belong in there. Yeah. You know, it was a lot of guards and even the lieutenants and all don't you always say, like, man, you just, how did you get here? Wow. You just don't belong here. Wow. I tell them the story and they're like, get the hell out of here. You know, like how, but it's just, you know, but my personality just kind of has that.

44:48People kind of gravitate towards gravitate towards it. But it's, but no, it was a lot of great people who helped me navigate it. A lot of them put a lot of fears in me, but not out of, I wouldn't even say those fears were out of ill will. Right. It was just their story. Right. It was what they faced. Yes. But they also went back to probably an intercity. I went back to West Texas to San Angelou, which is not intercity, Dallas, intercity Houston. And it's a completely different environment. Yeah. And I had a couple more resources in avenues to explore than those guys. You know, but that's their story. This is mine. And so they just kind of just kept it separate. And it's just like, Hey, like I understand why you're trying to tell me that, but I'm listening to it. But that's not my story. Back my heart. I'm like, that's not my story. That's not what you're about to go do. I'm going to go at least try it. I'm going to try it. You know, and then like even being released was just as scary as they are.

45:49Yeah. And so I got released from Huntsville, Texas. And so my mom, Mel's mom and Mel came to pick me up. You know, greatest day of my life. You know, like just the be back and embrace with Mel. Yeah. Right. Right. And right with Mel and then just like the joy, the joy that it brought back to his life. You know. Yeah. And so it was. Yeah. But like, yeah. So much. You did that as challenges. Yeah. I had nine and a half years left on parole. No money. No career. Right. No trade skills. That was just. I had a personality. I have a personality and I have a work ethic that I can build upon. Yeah. And so just. But you also had a felony on your record. Right. Yeah. And so it's just just navigating that, you know, and just the environment. The environment was the biggest thing. Yeah.

46:50You know, been coming out of prison and I went back to that same environment for a couple days. It's my grandma's answer. You know, great loving people. But it's just like the people who were coming around every day, like some of the same guys who were coming around who I grew up with. Yeah. We're just kind of still doing the same thing. And so it was still a dangerous environment. So I had to transfer my parole. You know, I love my grandma with all my heart. You know, but it's just like the accident. But it being at her house, it gave them, it gave those said, the guys access to me. Right. And so I just kind of had to remove the act as it's just like, I couldn't have that tough conversation with them at the time. Right. You know, because I'm, I still don't have shit. You know, like I still, there's still a lot for me to build on. And I'm still here in my mind, like, but it's, but I was fortunate, you know, a great brother of my friend, a tenor had an extra room for me. And I ended up going to, when I went to his house and stayed there for a few months before

47:53I got my own apartment, it gave me that isolation that I needed. It, because like even getting out of prison, you spend a lot of time by yourself. Yeah. And so it's like, I love people. I love being around people, but I still need a long time. Yeah. Because of all those years alone. And, you know, whether it's going to be in certain cells or whether you're working alone and doing all that stuff, but it's, but yeah, just, I needed that long time. I needed that time to just sit there in my room and just close the door. And I had to worry about entertaining. So it's coming over. Yeah. But it was, but not it was, I was able to just kind of start working, started working at the packing house, worse place ever. Don't recommend it. You know, the slaughterhouse, but it was a good pan. It was a good job. Good pan job, good job to get you on your feet. It's one of those jobs where the hiring process is that you show up at six o'clock in the

48:56morning to see if you can get a job and you work that day. You know, and so, you know, they paid decent and it was just, you're going to get 11, 12 hours a day, but it's a slaughterhouse. And I'm not the best with blood and seeing my food. So, but I stuck it out for two and a half months, you know, until David Green got me an opportunity to go work for the city of San Angelo. And so, but I stuck it out there at the packing house, man. Oh, man, you, that place smells if you ever drove by. I wake up in the middle of the night and still smell it on me. You know, like, oh, man, but it just wasn't no work for me, but yeah, I ended up going to work for the city of San Angelo's water department, which was a great job. Great group of people. I still talk to this day. Like, I just love them. The guys, they gave me that environment where it was just like, man, they just want to see you do that. And it was just like David Green and all those guys were just like, man, go do whatever you want just like you go. Yeah, good.

49:57Right. You know, and I was just chasing something. Didn't even know what I was chasing. Yeah. You know, and eventually made my way to the old field. Yeah. And, you know, met some of the greatest people who I ever meet in life who are really people who want to see you do better and are going to put you in a better position to prove it and prove it to yourself and also, you know, prove it to this company that you are valued here. Yeah. But just to meet those owners and everybody who just kind of put their faith in me is everything. And I was like, man, what are you able to get that job just kind of getting started in the oil industry? I walked into their office. Yeah. Yeah. I was in my city uniform all the way. I walked into the office. Yeah. I was like, man, I need a job. Yeah. That's awesome. You know, but yeah, it was, well, yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, seeing a great friend who I haven't seen in years, you know, got named Sergio

50:57and then there was another guy Jesse in there who I call my uncle Jesse now. Yeah. You know, but yeah, seeing my uncle Jesse and his son and male was on the same soccer team at the time. And so when I walked in, he like, dude, what are you doing? I was like, I need a job. Yeah. Jesse looks over the Sergio. He's like, hey, I want him to work for me. Yeah. You know, and Jesse didn't know anything about me outside of our encounters at the soccer game. Right. You know, but I guess it was just the personality. And I mean, Jesse headed off and we, that's my uncle Jesse. You know, but we still hit it off, but it's, well, yeah, that's what I got in the oil and gas and went to work for Rogue Energy Services and great company, great group of people, hard working people, worked for it was rascal about works. You know, but yeah, it was good work. Yeah. It worked. And like over there, the opportunity, they didn't limit you. You know, it's like, hey, if you want to work, go work. You know, but they didn't care about your past and all that other stuff.

51:59No, right. Didn't care about it at all. It didn't care about it. Yeah. And like they gave me, they gave me a chance with they constantly give people chances. Yeah. You know, now, or you're going to take full advantage of it. Yeah. Sure. Right. You know, I'm just big difference. I just feel like I wanted a few that took advantage of it. Yeah. You know, and, you know, took the blessing and worked my ass off for those guys. Yeah. You know, yeah. Yeah. And just still happy to be a part of their group, you know, and then, you know, I'm blessed to have the owners that we have now. Yeah. You know, with Angie, Angie's to great lady. Yeah. Very lady, but man, it's, but yeah, I just had a lot of people who put their faith in me. And a lot of times like through this process, it was even hard to see what people see in me to put that faith in me. Right. You know, a lot of times I used to, there I'm playing myself in just, yeah, not have full confidence. Yeah. I show confidence, but do I really, did I really have it right?

53:00I can show it in public behind closed doors. I wouldn't confident. Yeah. At all, you know, and I'm still battling. You know, and it's, it's still everyday battle, you know, but it's just like, I appreciate the journey. Yeah. I was released July 2nd, 2018. And it's just like to reach to be where I'm at now and have two additional kids and a great woman behind me. You know, and it's everything. It is. It's kind of like life worked itself out, you know. Did you put it in the work? Yeah, but I put it in the work. Definitely put it in the work to get to it. Yeah, a lot of work that I didn't want to do. A lot of work that I didn't want to do. But it's, it worked itself out. So, yeah, I just think a lot of people get stuck. Yes. Yes, stuck. Hopefully it will motivate someone to, you know, move forward and then moving forward to this moment, these moments in the last few weeks. Like, so great. Like your life is expanding even more, you know.

54:02So it's just awesome to see this. Like I just, I can't wait to meet, you know, Danny and the kids and person and just continue on down this amazing road. Yeah, no, this moment is great. I feel like I'm in a complete moment. You know, like it's complete and it's just like, well, Fred, would you tell me on the call? You didn't even need me. Yeah, I was like, you know, like, you know, other than a few jeans here and there. I really have nothing to do with it is. You know, I'd love to take pride in what you become as a man, but I can't really do that. It is like, but you know, it's been a journey. It's been a journey. I'm just happy to be at this point now. You know, and then also be blessed with a father figure along the way since I've been released. Oh, my mom's current husband and son. You know, he was a guy who's been through a lot in his life and was able to build something and kind of restart his life in his, his 50, you know, after 50 and it was just like,

55:07yeah. You know, so he was like, man, just work. Yeah. You know, work every day and just take it day by day and just build and move and intention along the way and it worked itself out. You know, so he just kind of, that was, that was a guy I was able to see built something later on in life after going through a lot through his life. And so it helped, it helped see it. Right. And so that's why a lot of times I kind of want people to see me out. I want people to see the level of success more. But this is my success. You know, I want them to see like you can still go out and do everything. But one of the things that you brought up a few times, which I think is just critical was you were talking about one day at a time. You know, it's like in the military, one of the things we used to talk about, they used to hammer into us was, you know, how do you eat an elephant? Well, one bite at a time. You know, as long as you're concentrating on that one moment instead of, and where a lot

56:10of people get stuck, is there looking at the enormity of what they have to do and not bringing it up into, well, this is what I have to do now. Let me just concentrate on now. How hard was that for you? Were there times that the enormity of it kind of hit you? Yeah. Early on, when I first got released, it was just more or less battling my mental state about wanting to be makeup for those years that I miss with Mel. And so it was just, it's been my last, it's been my last dollar to get them something. But it's like Mel was never a materialistic kid. He just wanted to time. But it was just, I just felt like I was playing makeup, right? Make trying to make up those five and a half years. And it's just not a reality. I can't make that up. Right. No, but we can start from now, son. You know, it'll pass the way forward. Right. Which is kind of what you guys have to do, right? Right. Yeah. Make up those five years. Yeah.

57:11Make it. Yeah. I can't go back and advise you like before you got arrested or any of that kind of stuff. And it's just, but it's just, it's, it's amazing to me your journey because so many people get caught up in the stuff that you got caught up in and never make it out of it. Right. And try to still stuck in the right. I still have great friends who, you know, I love them to death or still stuck in the same thing. And it's just like, it gets me down because it's just like my story should be enough to inspire you. Yeah. You're seeing this in flesh. This isn't a movie. Right. I'm not making these moves on Hollywood. Right. But it's just like, you're able to see me. And I'm like, I don't feel like I did anything special. Right. Besides go to work. Right. And love the company I work for. Take pride in the company I work for.

58:12Mm-hmm. But work for a company I'm supporting that company. Right. You know, and it's just like, I'm not going to complain about it. I'm not going to talk about pay. Pay doesn't matter to me. Right. You know, I just want it to be valuable. Yeah. But a lot of people just, they get stuck and just don't want to start. And they're so used to having a certain type of whether it's money or whatever, whatever type of three status they really want. Right. But they're not wanting to start from the bottom. You know, but going back to prison, you are at the bottom. You're below. Yeah. You know, you're not even a man. Right. You know, and it's, you know, in the system, you're having to be told to eat, drink. You know, you go down to the childhood. They're going knock on your table. Mm-hmm. They're not going to the table. They're going to knock on that guard, make it back around. Better be up. Mm-hmm. You know. Right. But it's just like being told to do stuff. And back when I was in the cell, you know, waiting on the cell door. Yeah. You know. But it's just, yeah, a lot of people just don't.

59:13Oh, I can, that's what hurts me. Mm-hmm. Because I want to see them do good. Mm-hmm. Do you feel any of that, what they call survivors guilt? Because you've been able to change your life and they haven't. Yeah. It's tough because it's just like some days I even question like, you know, like, did I deserve all this? Right. You know, even though I worked to get to this point, right, still feels like it's not nothing. Right. And it's keen. Yeah. You know, I still, I don't know. Still have to battle through certain stuff. Yeah. You know. I don't know. Life is great still. Yeah. I'm still chasing something. Sometimes I just slow down. Yeah. You know, slow down and look back at what I've accomplished over the short eight years and just appreciate it. And so this year's, that's what I've been kind of working towards a little more, you know, just, just slowing it down.

1:00:13And I'm sure Danny helped you with that. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely upset her a lot. Yeah. Yeah. But yes, she is my rock. That's awesome. So bringing us to this moment this weekend, like, what's it like with you guys like being together and being around it? You're like, what's that feel like? It's, it's cool. It's like, you know, like we're both not trying to overdo it. Yeah. You know, like yesterday we're right around a lot of silence. Yeah. You know, just being in each other's presence. Yeah. I think it's pretty cool. And I think, you know, well, I just think we were just kind of, we both have that same thought was like, maybe we're going to try to overdo this. Yeah. I mean, that was that. It was in this time. Yeah. But, but that has been also kind of for me, there have been times when I felt like I needed to overdo it.

1:01:14I needed to, you know, it's, I do sometimes feel like I do need to kind of make up 34 years, which of course is impossible. But yeah, I mean, getting around you and just our first few conversations just felt so natural. It was like, it was like, you know, I, I felt like, you know, we kind of got each other in terms of who we are as people. And, yeah, I mean, I, I'm still kind of navigating it and, you know, figuring everything out. But I, I love this kind of, this is the kind of change that I enjoy because to have, to, you know, to find out that I have a son that I didn't know about. And he's awesome. That, that just, you know, and besides the fact that you being awesome, but you got, you got kids that, nah, I got grandkids. I mean, that was just like, oh, it's just like, oh, this, you know, it just couldn't, it couldn't have turned out any better.

1:02:20There's just no possible way it could have turned out better. So, you know, even though I'm still adjusting, but, you know, I mean, you're 34 years old. So I, I had the kind of. If you don't count those years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. But it's just like all of those years, it's just, it's, it's, it's just, it's kind of still a little weird. It's getting less weird as the days progress, you know, but it's, I couldn't have, I couldn't have scripted this any better than it's been. Yeah. So for me, you know, as a person who went from a medium-sized family and then, you know, all my mom and brothers and her parents passed and then connecting with my cousin, I found him through Facebook. And, but now, you know, then getting married and then the family expanded again and then now you and expanding more like this is amazing to me from going from like two people to like 20 people.

1:03:26You know, I think it's incredible. It's very exciting. You know, I didn't have kids of my own. So it was exciting like becoming an instant stepmom and not instant step grandma. So it's, it's awesome. And I know my mom is super excited because she had, I don't even need a death about having kids for long. I didn't ask her, I didn't do it intentionally. You know, it just didn't happen. But yeah, she, I know that she's very excited. It's like, I wish we were closer, you know, but we have to make it happen where we see each other often. Absolutely. So. Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, this is, it's been a wonderful ride. I can say about, you know, you're already part of the family and so is Danny, you know, so it's just, it's, it's, it's been great. And I'm so appreciative that you went through the process with ancestry and I think my older sister several times for being on ancestry because she's only one of my family that's on it.

1:04:30So I was like, you know, because if she hadn't gone on ancestry, we wouldn't be here talking. Yeah. So yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's a lot, but it's, it's all great. It's just, it's all great. Yeah. And, and of course, having my beautiful wife with me because I can't go through stuff without this woman here. And so she has been there with me to help me through the process. She's had to have a talk with sometimes people in my family about letting me go through the process. But, you know, yeah, we don't go through these things alone. We really don't, you know, I've got all my, my friends, everybody knows about you. Everybody's excited about you. And it's just, it's, it's been, it's been an awesome journey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It has been great and ancestry. Yeah. We're coming for you. We understand. Yeah.

1:05:30We reached out to ancestry like several times because this is the kind of story that, that they should want. You know, because without ancestry, Jamar and I would have never met. So, yeah. Yeah. So, we're still reaching out to you. So, that's just a little jab there to kind of. Yeah. And then shout out to the company. I don't know if you remember the company that you did the paternity test through, but everything went pretty smoothly. It was quite a great. Yeah. I'm trying to remember the name of the couple, but I will, I will put in a link. I think it was like my forever DNA or something like that. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. But I'll put a link in the, in the description for them as well because they did and after I talked to them, I talked to a young lady from there and I told her how excited I was and I really wanted to find out this information and she kind of put a little rush on it for us. And so it was like the next day, you know, as I'm doing my refresh on my email.

1:06:30I was like, oh, here it is. You know, we had our mori moment. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It was awesome. Cool. This is like the stories that you read about online and you like can't even believe it's true. So I haven't happened in your own life in real time. It's just, it's amazing. And it's not even happening to me. You know what? I'm still like so excited and I'm also. Yes. Yes. Yes. But I just find that incredible, especially as a person who also does not know their father. I've had more information than Jamar has, but my father doesn't have any information about me. I've actually tried. I've gone on ancestry and I've linked with second cousins, thursday and fourth, but never 24% match. I mean, I did have a match to Justin, but we already knew at that point. But I find it just incredibly exciting and amazing and I'm so happy for the two of you and wait to see where are this all goes. Yeah. Yeah. One day at a time.

1:07:30Yeah. You know, I'm sure as we, as the one day's go to time, I'm sure that the family wants to be on with you in our own questions. Maybe we need to get all the, you know, all the kibbleings together and let them have their little powwow. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, you know, if, if you guys are able to come out for Thanksgiving with love to, you know, bring you on again and, and, and get everybody on, you know, I still want to hear it from, from Danny's perspective. You know, I don't know. I don't hear what she was going through. You know, I don't say where did I start. Yeah. Hey, we got time. Yeah. We got time. So, yeah, she just had to slow me down. Yeah. You know, as long as I get ahead of myself in, I do. Yeah. But it's, it's part of it, you know. Yeah. Just, I just want to keep moving. Right. But it also shows how critical it is to have the right partner. Yeah.

1:08:31It's just, it's absolutely critical. Yeah. It's just, it's just important to have a partner and right environment, and everything. Yeah. Everything's in the good space. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I wanted everybody to meet Jamar, you know, as a very important person to our lives right now who we've known now for four weeks. But, um, yeah, I mean, you got any parting words? Man, no. I don't. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know what to say after all this. Yeah, I know. It's a lot. But it's amazing. It's good stuff. It's amazing stuff. So, um, yeah. So, for this 70th episode. This is an amazing episode where we get to meet the addition to the family. And it wasn't like, you know, a baby, right? 34 year old. Yeah. They came with kids, which is exciting. Yeah. So, um, thank you for watching and enjoying this.

1:09:33And if you have any story similar or, um, no of any, please share. Love to see you. Love to hear it. Yeah, we want to hear all about it. Um, so for this 70th special episode of Love Growth and Narratives, I'm Tiffany. And I'm Fredrick. And we will see you next. What? What?