VERSES Ep. 1967 - P.​O.​E.​T RADIO STATION

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1:01you okay you're on in five four three two is this seven seven three your special guest yes it's the start of acting all right you own last today's is your welcome to the eight-pound national sport world of winning four radio networks is aimed to you versus thoughts show where we right now discuss the race and where rising stars get the opportunity to shine this is your the home to brother older their medical ancestral fortune and my and my lustrous carols since he learned shabbing and

2:02getting storm in the absence we are every second four Wednesday and not even a central seven on the system to call in the official five five six two four four four show ideas nine three one five five then hit the press that won after that didn't you a press start to want to speak and tonight special guest I saw this since the house of poor chief last month when I tell you he brought the house down and had a stand innovation I was there to witness his last month of his support this is the powerful this is the is amazing and I truly believe that she will he won the great

3:02ever come ever come from the Chicago Poetry community tonight we have a system of Melania Rose tell us from Chicago to the North y'all y'all going to y'all going to spread with ice fresh I saw sports you last month you guys this is right here y'all y'all going to know y'all going to experience what I'm talking about tonight so before we go kick off this show the citizens are flexing the West United Pineda versus did not win the National Spover World Awards for best radio on my TV show this year congratulations to Papi's 40 corner but but when this award is announced it's just he deserve but we will come back we claim ours we claim that award next year we got to do his work harder

4:03and bring in more colors and bring in more features than already for 2027 brothers and sisters I've had 16 16 features booked already for the versus the versus for nation y'all so it's a variety of poets and the majority these poets are for Wisconsin and I will be there in Milwaukee Wisconsin along with the King of Forces black ice a cause of block uh let cause of block open might Thursday on 728 East Brady ship in Waggledews Wisconsin two weeks from some long nights and this would be my very first performance in the city of Milwaukee and I'm excited now looking forward to that but before we uh commence right there she learned how and see been since He says, it versus touch show uh...

5:05It versus touch show a couple weeks ago. How you been, Evan? Yeah, I've been uh... good. Good. Oh yeah, it turns out working at all. Yeah, like I've been turning... Oh good. That's awful. Yeah. Good. Good. Tell the people about how soft fortune is society. Who you who you who you know. I think I'm gonna let them know. Um, yeah, I forgot who the... Yeah, who is the feature I was saying I won't... Yeah, I got some notes and do know I won't. Yeah, be there this time, but uh... Yeah, let me... I think the feature is uh... Melvin Blackman and Vice Chakur, um... But I... Yeah. Yeah, I won't... Yeah, be there. I'd like that's what's going on this Friday. Okay, yeah, I saw a fortune feature both after Melvin... Melvin Blackman,

6:082026, NASA spoke the word winner for this album. But yeah, it's just a basic core. There will be at... There will be a rich in park. This Friday night at 730 to 10. Also by the awesome one, make the say curated by by the legendary self-articularity. It said, last 223 on uh... I'll uh... Yeah, 223 on... Yeah, I forgot to address that quick. But uh... To go in this Friday and ask where we uh... that uh... that our special guest for the night. The ladies and gentlemen is now that time to bring on the uh... special guest for the evening. I now introduce the sister that brought the house down.

7:08And got to stay in the old basement. At the future, last month, their house was 4G and Chicago was annoying. And this sister... This sister is on the way to be one of the greats. For a sweet day of her life already. I bring to you Melania Rose. Becky, please bring on Sister Melania's Melania Rose. She leaves you everybody how y'all doing? It isn't Melania Rose, how you doing? I am so blessed. That's not just gonna say thank you Brother O for allowing me to come on here. And thank you so much to the founder of Hot Sauce Poetry. She really, really blessed me. And I just want to say thank you for the opportunity to be on this stage and share my story. I'm just really really honored and really humbled. So I just want to say thank you. Well, you're welcome. Melania Rose is a pleasure to have you on this show.

8:10The night and before we get to your poachy, the first question I ask you is how did you start by approaching the first place and who had helped you along in your journey? Can you tell our listeners a little bit about how you got started? Absolutely. Well, I first have to get honest with my mother and my grandmother and my aunt who are all very, very, very serious about education and reading and speaking with proper dictation and all of those things like that and making sure that I was well versed in culture and always raised us to have confidence within ourselves. But when everyone that I ever pursued, they were right behind me, cheering me on and encouraging me. I grew up and I'm still a member at Cardiff Emplifier Me Church on 79th in Wild Bash.

9:11And friendly family, me, church on the corner. There's a woman by the name of Barbara Sienz. And I just, she has been such a blessing because when I was about seven or eight, she was very much the head of her time. And she started the poetry ministry at our church because she truly believed that God gives us gifts to glorify him in all categories, but whether that's dancing, whether it's cheerleading, whether it's football, there's always a way to give your gifts back to God. And so she started this poetry ministry and it was really cool because it was one of those ministries where anyone of all ages whoever could be a part of it. And she encouraged us from, I'm not talking about from three year old babies, why would you be able to speak? She encouraged you to get up there and to share your testimony in an artistic way and give praise in our artistic way. So that's the way that I got started. And I would dig a little bit from time to time at school.

10:12And then when I got to college, the first time I ever performed my poetry on a big, big, big stage with a talent show. And I actually, well, first place in the talent show. And I was just talking with a friend about this. You know, there was a time where I was, the things that I write about, I was ashamed of. And I felt guilty about. And God is finally showing me why he introduced this chaos in my life. And that is to be a blessing to other people because we've all gone through our ups and our downs. And sharing this poetry, I realized I'm not alone in my grief and in my bad decision-making. And he's showing me that it's the bad decisions and the chaos that is bringing me through this journey and really, really elevated me and blessed me. And God is using that to really push me ahead. And I'm just very, very grateful that he never let go of me.

11:16He never forgot about me. But that was kind of my start and poetry. Oh, that's awesome. Who, when you started performing public in the set, so I know I understand that you started going to the pen sessions with brother Jovonne, when I was a kid, I was made a different year of life by you through your journey. How has he made an impact of your life? First of all, I just, man, when I tell you guys has really brought me angels and I have not gone one place in this poetry journey without an angel, I made some point A to point B. He always brings somebody to me.

12:16And I ended up going to Pen Flow because of a friend of mine, Courtney, she had a nice, a Courtney. It was her birthday and she was like, you know, let's go to Pen Flow. And from the time I came to the basement, Jovonne, Doey, Katrina, you know, all the people, A-way, all the people who are on the board and help to build Pen Flow, I know Jovonne is the founder, really just embraced me and instead of it, and I don't know, I've learned very quickly that some people in this art thing could be really, really mean and really, really territorial. But they're not like that at all. And when they saw me and saw me perform, they encouraged my talent and encouraged me to go forward and do greater things. So Pen Flow has changed my life. And if it wasn't for Pen Flow, I probably wouldn't have gotten back into the writing like I had. And these pieces that you're going to hear me present tonight were written at Pen Flow. And the beautiful thing about Pen Flow as an open mic, it truly challenges you,

13:20it takes you up a notch because people don't bring pieces to Pen Flow. You create your art at Pen Flow. So when you walk through the door, you're given a topic to write on that night. And the first poem that I'm going to share with you all tonight, the topic that night was Flashback, right? And so from 7 to 9, you write on the topic that's given and then from 9 to about 11, 30 people are given the opportunity to perform. So it really just challenges your mind to kind of write and to think on the spot. And to really kind of just be free and just say what you need to say. Because you really don't have that much time to edit and really think deep. And so it's just amazing to see what comes off of your head. Creatively. So shout out to Pen Flow and Jovana and my Pen Flow family. Because that has been one of the greatest lessons

14:21in my adult life for sure. Very good. Yes, especially shout out to brother Jovana, 20 AK script. He's really, really, it said really a bunch of crafts in his next development that it was evident when I heard you the very first time in Hawthorne Sports you last month. And I even told him that you were on your way on your way to a conversation and this thing. And he said, he told, he said, this man knows brother knows what he's talking about because he's been around long time. He's, he's a brother. Oh, he's just, he's just, yeah, he told me that, said I have a challenge, a year plus discovering challenge. And I said, yeah, after I left, I said, I got to have this system on my show eventually.

15:24But tonight, tonight, this is your, this is your spotlight on Mario Rose. And I see you just doing a lot of great things with your portion in Chicago, not just Chicago, but all over the country eventually. So. Oh, yes, sir. I actually, I got the opportunity three weeks ago to go to Spilley in Participate in a Dunday Art Show. And I just won first place in my first poetry slam and it lands to this weekend. So guys just been really, really blessing me and I never thought, I never thought it was just so funny because when I had something for you, it's for you and there's no demon in here that can snatch it. I went to the poetry slam and Atlanta and I don't know if it was because I was a woman. I don't know if it was because I was from Chicago. But the guy who got second place, he just wasn't having it and he got on the mic and told everybody why I shouldn't have won.

16:25And I still won. And it's just, I'm learning that when God, when God gives you a gift, there's going to be some people who are angry. You don't want you to tell your story. But he's in control. He's in control. I always say, all I say to you is just people going to hate just keep it moving. Keep it doing what you're doing. It's just, just keep moving. Keep on moving. Don't pay attention to that because that brother is not you, my man. Your brother is not you. Remember what I said. He's not you. Hades, Hades, Hades, Hades, because they want, they don't have what you have. Yeah, they can't do what you do. Yes, sir. And that's the beautiful thing I think about art is that none of us can do what the other can do. And God has given us all such individual paths and different lessons and different journey

17:27to create this type of art. So I mean, I get the competition thing, but I don't because I just feel like art can never be competitive because we are all on our own separate journeys. And what speaks to your heart may not speak to mine. You know, artists objected and I think that that's the beautiful part about it. He learned these have a question from LaNonna Rosie for she possess a first point of the night. Oh, no, I was just making a comment. That was good that you weren't able to like, for congratulations on winning like the competition. And yeah, that's all I have to say. Thank you. A lot of the roles is now time to begin your first point of the night. You know, it's a challenge whenever you're ready to form the mic, you're sure that after your point, learning how to comment and then we get to get to the colors

18:29to a weight and you got to cross currently weight. So the challenge your first point is flashback. Okay, brother sister, this is my laundry rolls. Because then a first point of the night flashbacks and whenever you're ready to floor the mic is yours. I'm sorry. My daddy was a fool. And now I got daddy issue. But I use that like a tool. With the fingers, I don't play it by the road. Because I got daddy issue. The year is 1999. I'm five years old. It's me, my mama and my sister down at that target on sister road. Mama say you better not ask for nothing.

19:31You better not say nothing. I know how that goes. But y'all, I'm walking down the aisle and I just can't believe what I see. I'm looking at the unicorn and every black girl's dream. It was a Barbie lunch box with the thermos and the matching plastic sandwich pack. And I know y'all ain't gonna believe me. But the Barbie, the Heffel was black. And I don't know about y'all mama. But my mama refused to buy me Barbie that they melting like. And y'all, I turned around on the bottom shelf. It was the matching backpack. I'm having a flashback. She was pink and she had wheels. I didn't take a moment to think I put the backpack and the lunch box. Put them both in the cart and y'all know that took her because my mama didn't play. She turned around a road. What did I say? Y'all, my emotions began to melt. I was young but I wasn't a fool. So I began to perform with those rich white kids. Showed me at school. I rolled around on the floor like my ass. I never felt a belt. I mean, I stood my ground because my daddy was coming for me.

20:33And he was taking me out of town and I needed these things to put all my pretty clothes in because my daddy was coming for me. I don't know him. But mama said it was him, no me. So mama, please, please buy this large box for me. Mama bought the lunch box and the book bag after a few cries and a few pleas because I don't care what my daddy did or did not do. She provided every warmth and every need. That night we packed up my Afro bar big here because my daddy was coming for me. And he was soon to be here. Then they can never came. I waited all day. I was five but I waited until the night because my daddy was coming for me. That is disappointments. And now my expectations. He laid the firmament foundation for insecurity and mistrust. I don't believe nothing that you're saying. I'm going to accuse you to you leave.

21:33I'm a search and I promise. I'm a find what it is that I'm looking for. Create the narrative that provides the excuse for me to leave before you decide that you don't want to do this no more because let me tell you something. Experience breath honesty. So I can be real with myself even when you choose not to be because when I do flashback, it won't be an unneeded toy in me. But my daddy was a fool. And now I got daddy issue for all you bet like a fool. We think it's all the same other rules because I got daddy issues. Thank you. Amazing. Amazing. The body of rose. Where is five year right flashback? Well, I was at Penn flow. And that is one memory that I never forget.

22:37I was working after eight off. That was my first job out of college. And I was playing with the co-workers. She had promised me that she was going to do something. I can't remember what it was. And she didn't do it. And I told her I said, girl, you're just like my daddy. And I had not thought about about 23. And this happened when I was five. I never forget it. And I hadn't thought about that in years. My mother had taken me in my sister's target. I was starting kindergarten. I was going into kindergarten at Morgan Park Academy. And we were after talking on sister all because my grandmother was a target girl. And she always gave my mom a her credit card to go get us back to school stuff. And my mother is very eye for a century. You know, we were always in drumming, dancing, you know, really big on culture. And my mother, because, you know, I was, I've always been very, very chocolate. She just refused to buy me barbies that did not look like me. And I don't know of y'all know, but back in the 90s, it was very hard to find. Maybe not necessarily black barbies, but, but, but book bags and different items like that for little girls that had black barbies on it.

23:44And I never forget walking down that aisle and seeing that book bag. It was a roller book bag that you don't have the wheels and the lunch box. My mom used to always buy me the lunch boxes with zippers on it. And you remember the plastic ones that clips and it has the thermos and the plastic sandwich pack. And I was a very good kid and my mom just didn't play that and I would never have a temperature by after the full in that store. And because this was going to be my first time, you know, starting kindergarten going to a big girl school. And also my father was a poet to become and to take me to Atlanta for the summer. And I remember packing up that book bag and the little lunch box. And I literally sat at my grandmother down the room table all day. And I never forget every car that passed. I was like, okay, my mom, my daddy's here. I'm leaving, but the cars will keep going. And I never forget. I fell asleep at that window. I don't think my mom would just let me lay there. And I hadn't thought about that. That moment in years and I, you can add all my coworkers.

24:46I literally had a breakdown. Like I had to go home from work. I mean, I just started crying and laughing profusiously. And I did not know why. I mean, at this point, I'm 23 years old. This happened when I was five. And it was something I hadn't thought about in years, but the pain was so real. And, you know, I haven't had the best. And experiences with me and every time, you know, things don't go well. I always think about being left at that window by my father. So that's what inspired that. Yeah. Where did you add me in your comments said to what Mariah Walser said? Oh, yeah. So about the black. Oh, yeah, the black bar. I don't know how they were. Yeah, in the 90s, though, like, it was hard to say. And then when you did see them, yeah, they were very red.

25:50Like I was a type, though, like, I didn't really play with Barbie. Like, my mother was kind of the same way. Like, you know, we went to our culture. I never wanted to buy me a white Barbie like she always bought me the black one. So, but I was just never really into the dolls like that. So, yeah, that's. Yeah, that was a very powerful piece. Yeah. I wanted one experience that won memory that the triggers, triggers something. And that's a portion of the box being transparent and real and real and good. Just speaking of truth without having to apologize with your experience. Absolutely. And with that being said, we have a couple of colors.

26:50Seven, seventy two four one. Seven, seventy two four one young, labyrinth versus talk show with brother older than milk, welfare, physical, poor, she and on with our car. She runs a cabin, our special guest, a lot of rose. Please say your name, we call us from. Good evening, everyone. This brother, me, a bunch of them. Shine, you did. Was good. Good news. How you doing, brother? Trying to rescue. Outer, I know. Outer. We have to share with us tonight. It's called a thousand words are spoken. Thousand words are spoken. The four of my viewers knows. I'm your fear is away. Live to yourself alone. Brush out your memory of your curry doctor. Please pay for truth.

27:50We between each line. And allow your dreams. Pray for hope. I feel you only within the comfort of my number. We write it only in the darkest hour. In the hopes of somebody causing your mind. As I keep the place I dedicate to you in order to clear the wishful little candle. Be in with what rhythm on your song. Should I stay or shall I be with you? I say as I am within this table, I record it. You're watching these dance around. Swinging the key. Or how beautiful. Allow these risks of mind to send troops. I, I hail for eternity. For each take out. For each take of the clock out once. That was the worst I was. But only to the moon. Wish it wasn't a delusional idea. As you remember here watching the silence. Keep this. Fix your wish. Memories. Lock the way until you return. And that's that piece. I good piece.

28:50They good piece. No. I find you right. Thousand words are spoken. It's kind of family. Cups. Okay. You just. You just like. You took this piece and you really, really did a good job. Sometimes the best stuff. Something is the best that don't say it. And. And sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes a lot of us wonder. Boom is the weakest one in the room. For Frankндl. The qui לח. The toy seller. omas.

29:51I need money, man with Facebook, especially when you're listening. So called by a career friend, This wasn't not spoken to our facial expressions or our body and our body language. Great piece, Bill. This is a great piece that you wrote. Where are you thoughts on the thousands of words I'm spoken about, Bill? Oh yeah, it was something that should be left on spoken because I hear this term called yes, Silence is golden. So yeah. Good. And now we had G in the storm on my withers. Hello, G. How you doing? Is it a storm all, Jackie? I'm here. I'm sorry. I was muted. Yes, I'm sorry. I was running late. I only got to hear part of our features.

30:56Peace, but brother Mills is inspirational as always. And I just love where his pen is taking him. That poem was amazing. I feel like every time he comes on, he's better than the time before. That was a beautiful thank you, brother Mills. Yeah, brother Mills, thanks for always supporting voices out of the kind of verses and every time he comes, you come on, he just brings us homes that your brightness brilliant. And it's just, it's just, it's just one of those lines. It's just, he's very creative. He takes some of his songs television, some of his songs news is right. Massive pieces based on where they some where he saw. That's amazing. As you can see, that was our most important news calling them from the shy. They said we had three, four, six, eight or four.

31:59They called people say they don't fool your live a versus torture with brother old. And then they were able to access them for some long with my coach, just to learn Japanese, didn't storm. I especially guess that even in the line of roles of Chicago, they say nameway calling from before six. And oh, four, you're live inversions. Hi. All right. I know this is Lady A from Houston, Texas. Yes, it's me. How are you guys? I love Lady A. How are you doing? I'm doing, I'm doing well. I'm kind of, I've been going back and forth trying to figure out what I want to share tonight with you guys. And I don't know if I've ever shared like my first poem that I came about. And I was like, what one did I share last time?

33:01So I'm like, I don't know if I really want to do one that's like a lot older or it's like really from the beginning when I first started like, channeling and like kind of healing myself or really realizing I was a poet. And then to like something a little bit more profound as of today. But I think I'm just going to share my love one another with you guys tonight. Okay. The poem is called Love One Another. Yeah, Love One Another. Yeah, this is my first. I like that child Lady A. All right. Whenever you say Love One Another for Mike, is yours. Yeah, thank you. Do you walk in this world loving yourself? Or do you walk feeling better than everyone else? Are you smarter? Are you wiser? Are you younger? Are you richer? Are you whiter? Are you a browner? Are you hotter? Are you kinder?

34:02Do you walk in this world blaming everyone around you for your mistakes and misfortunes? Or do you see their lessons of proportion? What is love? What is light? What is forgiveness? What is kindness? What is hope? What is laughter? What is compassion? What is sympathy? Are these weaknesses? Are they strengths? Seeing inside oneself can lead into liberation or can bring you into desperation. It's hard to look at the bad and the ugly but freeing yourself by looking within, forgiving oneself. See, you can start treasuring the beauty within. Go deeper, get out of the flesh, open your eyes and you'll see everybody out. Cannot alone. We're all here. Reach out and you'll see the miracles appear. You are kindness. You are bright. You are love. You are light. You are beautiful. You are happy, right? We are all the same walking in pain or love. Be kind to oneself. Be kind to one another. We're all going through this thing called life. Walking in our different phases. There's

35:05no need to put on all of these different phases. Do not judge because we're all the same. Going through our experiences and hopefully getting wiser. Love one another. They are the forms of the day. What is body like in a particular pool? Well, I was on a really dark path for a really long time and I went into many different healings and when I started to write again, well, I used to kind of peek on paper but when I started to write, it turned into song. This was like a challenge. It was kind of like looking at my life and starting to ask myself questions. Just kind of came out. This was my first one that I memorized and was sharing all the time and I was so shocked to even know that I was a poet and I

36:06could write like this. I made good plumb. The age of down to 88 will be your feet when the special guest teach on versus Tar Show when they say February 10, 2027. Yes. Excited. Thank you so much. You'll get to hear more. Ladies, portion of big way 10 live versus Tar Show. You've heard what you asked for. Love one another by Lady A. Oh, yeah. At the time, I guess we still want to love one another and stop. Yeah, I hate in each other though we definitely do need love. Though that more about spread it around. All right, very good. Good feedback. You've heard in the story. Would you ask for a love one another by Lady A?

37:08I love that. I love the idea and the concept of loving one another because hate is so rampant in the world today that we need more love and we have to start with ourselves and then spread that love out. And I always say time is just free so give generously. And that's what I was hearing in this piece. It was just how to be a decent human being and love one another. It's beautiful. Great feedback. Just some, I love that piece. They were called in the age of Houston Texas. And thank you. Julie, Dave, for his support. Looked before to your amazing teacher versus Taw Show on February 10, 20, 27. Asia, Jim, that was Lady A. Carden in from Houston, Texas. Next call we have is she 1287.

38:09Hey, cool. 312, 837. You're allowed to versus Taw Show with brother, older, their male professor, poor, she among with my coach, he merge admin and Dean of storm. Now, especially against my mother, Rose Chicago, please say name, where you call from. Hey, call 312, 837. You're allowed to versus Taw Show. They name, where you call from. Hello, this is Adrian Salaz and I'm calling from Chicago. Hello, I'm just a less how you doing. I'm doing pretty good at how are you all? Well, we're doing, we're doing well, sis. We're doing well. And what piece would you like to share with us tonight? The title of this piece is called Black Moments Pain. A Black Moments journey is different. That's not front or discount. The difference is relevant. Internal

39:12struggles are mount. Well, meaning is met with disregard. Some Black women meet pain head on. Cry and display discord. But other Black women bottle it inside anger and frustration collide. Words spoken to them met with words do or die. Years of bottle pain, they can no longer deny. Trying to be nice. They no longer try. Tyler Perry's movie straw. To Roger B. Henson's character loses it all. In good time, Florida Eddens says damn damn damn what her husband by God is called. And trauma Black women deal with on a daily basis. Discrimination, racism, harassment, sexism, intimidation, being workplace or relation. Please don't discount a Black woman or pain is pain. There is no need to explain. Just walk a mile in her shoes and you will see her blues. As the saying goes, he doesn't give you more than you can handle. For many Black women,

40:18their pain has dismantled the status quo, shatter a glass ceiling, flow. But with the face of a mustard seed strength to face the world indeed to get up, washes her face, brushes her teeth, take a shower, comb her hair, locks for weep, puts on her makeup, puts on an outfit so sweet, making her coffee or tea, getting lunch and work back, breakfast blueberry muffin or guacamole toast as weep. With resilience, she pushes her pain to the back of her brain and she now faces another work day. But she has kids to pee and bills to pay and ask that piece. I'm a great pee-saider, so let's spot you the right Black woman's pain, women's pain. I believe people discount that Black women actually have pain, but we usually mask it with a smile with the everyday going to work, raising our kids, paying bills, doing the normal everyday things.

41:24For we may cry to ourselves, we have moments of sadness, but we have to be strong for everybody else. We're just like everybody else, we have good days, bad days, and sad days. It's best to take Black women and treat them like what we said earlier. Treat everybody with kindness, give everybody a smile. That blesses a person's day, that someone actually acknowledged them, and smile that done. That's a great, greatest relationship, the rest of us. Yeah, that was pain by ages of less. Oh yeah, I was saying definitely as Black woman, people like us, as a child, though we should get treated with respect, but most definitely we should

42:30love on one another because sometimes I do see too many women, especially Black women, just being jealous on one another. So it starts with us, though, so yeah. Yeah, so I was, yeah, for bad women's day, by just what? Well, I have to just applaud you, Adrian, Celeste, because the struggles and in other selves being a woman, then coupled by the fact that you're a Black woman, you were saying that we are always expected to be strong, and as someone who was chronically ill, I noticed this in the healthcare industry whenever I would go, especially to the emergency room, my pain would be discounted. I think they expect us to be super humans, and just to be able to endure any pain and every pain. And at nine times that attempt is being discounted, I found this to be true for myself when I was considered drug seeking in an emergency

43:30room visit one time. When I was not in fact, I was in a flare. I just simply needed my medication. I did not need an narcotic. I just needed to be understood and to be recognized as even though I have had to be strong, I'm not always. So it's important that we look to Black women, understand the struggles of their day to day, and know that they're strong, sometimes out of a necessity, but we also want to be seen. We want to be heard. We want to be recognized and loved and appreciated for the things that we do, but not to be discounted as so strong that we don't have needs. I need to be met as well. That I felt that deeply. Appreciate it. Well, I said to you the storm and they just recently they would call us in to share that piece. But I listen to the audience and your show in the conversations with first and third Thursday

44:34in the month. Now it would be featured on the conversation on October 1st y'all. So you get to hear my story on the conversation. Don't you buy anything for rest and it's five. This is the man I told him first at seven and seven and a central. I told him first y'all. So check check check check out check out they show they have different topics and two and then every first at thirty nine the month. 80s and a dollars of my poor sister, 80s, the rest called him Chicago. Oh next up we have four one four five five one. Hey, go four four one five five one y'all live and first is touch show. The brother is in America. Special poor chief.

45:35Long with 60. He's been in the dentist storm. Special guest. The line. A lot of those three say name way call us from. Hey brother. Oh, hey Gina. Hey everybody. It's not so. I know. I said, how you doing? I am exhausted. I'm very very tired. Very very very very tired. How are you guys doing though? We're doing well. We're doing well. What's right to share with us tonight? I haven't really thought about it. I was just more calling into listen because I came home from work like super late and I mean super late and needed a break from my homework. I haven't done my homework tonight at all whatsoever. Oh, what do you guys want to hear? You know, I have so many.

46:36I have so share with share with them. You feel like share in dosh. Oh, that's so difficult for me because I got so many. Well, okay, let me go to let me go to my suicide poems. And here's why this is suicide suicide awareness month. That's what I want. Let's say that one. I'll go to yeah, I'll go to one of those. And this one is very short. This is very very short but I want to like, prefaces by saying that I three days after my birthday, I lost one of my former students this way. And he was he was our class valedictorian. He was a young man that I he was class valedictorian class

47:38of 2018. He was a young man that I that I connected with very well. He was one of my last mentees when I was an in-house mentor. He was a man that like myself, he holds his troubles to himself and keeps a lot to himself, but he and I connected in this way. And he's wanted to read as why I decided to to write this, write my book, my book of shadows. He's wanted to read as why I decided to write my third book, which my book of shadows is almost ready for manufacturing. So it it will be being released sooner than what I thought it would be. But anytime and I can sit and talk about this for hours because this is my daily life. This is

48:38one of my personal daily, daily triumphs. And I have to say triumph because I wake up. I have failed so many times that this time decided to stop trying. So it's hilarious. I failed so many times I decided to stop trying. But that doesn't mean that that mindset doesn't go away. It doesn't mean that the thoughts go away. Because the thoughts don't go away. Because the will and the desire is you know, it's still there. I just choose not to act out on it. And which is saying a lot considering how my last year even has been. And that's just outside of what my life has been, but my last year has literally been thrown upside down. What you guys know is coming up to almost

49:40a year since my baby passed away. And so my young man, he's not a baby, 26, but he was coming up to a year with that. So yeah, so the thought I'm going to leave is anybody who is thinking, anybody who is considering anybody who is having the thoughts that same types of thoughts that I battle every single day. If you feel like you're about to go down that road, please pause. And I truly mean it. Please pause. Call 988. If you can't call anybody else, call 988, get a safety plan. And I truly mean that. Get a safety plan. Build yourself a safety plan. You already got the suicide plan. So create a safety plan to combat that suicide plan because that safety plan is going to be one of your go to if you feel like you're going to down 988, star 988, that is the national suicide prevention hotline. I would rather you call and talk to somebody. Instead of

50:46attempting, honestly, I'd rather you call and talk to somebody. Don't attempt. You know, because you very well could be a failure at attempts like me. And I felt more times than I care to admit. But thankfully, it's something that I'm very good at feeling at, apparently. So to give you guys a little bit of our mindset, this is how we think. Okay. We never want to be in anybody's way. We never really want to take up any one space. We never want to be a burden to anyone. We realize everyone has their own life to live. We don't like to intrude their happy homes. So a lot of us are looking for happiness of some sort. We find joy in the understanding we will have a time to go. It's often the sadness we know we will cause others that makes us stay so long. Some call that thought darkly sad. We call it being realistic, accepting that makes us quite glad. This is why we wear the masks that we do.

51:52To hide our inner sadness from you. And it's your life we don't wish to intrude. This is why we often hide from you. Even when we are with you, we are hiding. We are the greatest actors on the screens. Call it the eyes of your life, the length through which you see. We are not always selling or sad on the outside. We are often cheerful and often laughing and smiling while hoping to make you laugh and smile too. The extra attentive when we suddenly become this gay. We're planting happy memories in your mind space from when we go away, giving you something to hold on to from when we choose to move. But when we finally do, understand that it's not because we don't love you because we truly do. It's just that we couldn't see past the clouds anymore, we couldn't see past the painting anymore, we couldn't see past the fog that is surrounding us consistently, the fog that we walk through every single day trying to find another way, trying to find another light is

52:58not that we don't love you. It's simply that we couldn't find any more reasons to stay. Sorry. Let that be. I was powerful, doctor. They were powerful for suicide awareness month. And this is important because a lot of young people are taking their lives and the back of them. And I was able to tell you what my sister says. You have a suicide of doctor's please. Call star 988. If the test number calls their available 20 smiles a day, it feels like you have everybody to call to please call that number. And please get the health please get the health that you think. I'll take you seven to say you and never give up.

54:03You remember when you asked for a doctor's phone about suicide awareness? Oh yeah, no. I'm pretty powerful though. Like I put up, like what she said, we don't want to feel like we're getting anybody's away like sometimes when you feel unwanted. Yeah, because I think I include myself like I believe I don't know if it can't speak to everybody. I think at some point in my life we probably all have suicidal thoughts. Then we think it's not yeah worth it though. Like just going like you know, like you know, if you feel you actually going to do that, don't just go and get some help. It's so great. Well, you're thoughts on a doctor's suicide next to a side piece. I'm deeply moved and touched. I grew up in a household with a chronic lead first mother

55:07with suicidal tendencies and thoughts. But I can happily say that she also was unsuccessful. So I still have her to this day. 988 wasn't around when I was growing up. The National Suicide Hotline was an 800 number back in the day. I know a lot of times when you're thinking about giving it up, you can't be dialing a whole bunch of numbers. So 98 is really a wonderful resource with a very short number to dial for anyone who's having thoughts like that. I think that God had a lot to do with my mom still being in her relationship with him, prevented her from being successful. So likewise, anyone who's thinking those thoughts or anyone who's living with the loved one who has those thoughts, you can as well to get support. And also, they will encourage you to give you some of the tools that you can use to talk to someone

56:09if they're not willing to call for themselves. But just knowing that you are loved, you're not in the way, you're not going to be a burden, you are not a burden. Just continue to take each day as it comes. Like brother, those that seek the help that you need because you're valuable in your loved and just know it does not have to end. Your life does not have to end, especially by your own hand. So thank you, Dr. for bringing that. What's there? And that's the backup of Dean of Stone's Awareness Day. We are our thoughts and prayers, but I think the young man that took his life, the class out of the 2018 at your high school, praying for his family as they continue to mourn his loss. And like a gaping hole, you decide to take your life, you don't know who you are affected.

57:13You said, you're not a piece of your family is lost without you. So versus Tar So next year, we're going to dedicate episode dedicated to suicide awareness month. So the next next versus Tar So, versus Tar 27, we're going to have a special, special show dedicated to suicide awareness and prevention month. So thank you for calling in, Dasha, from the Milwaukee Wisconsin and you, you're showing the person through Wednesdays, worst than Wednesdays. It is, it is. And you tell the people brief you about worst than Wednesdays? Worst mid Wednesday is a show where we feature the word. And every show we have a word challenge,

58:14where we encourage artists to write about the word, to twist the word, to stretch the word, to describe the word, put the word in their in their pieces. Just really, really, really, really emphasize the word. So I know you guys, you guys have features, but I feature words. And I consider every poet to be a word smith, where we are smithing words, we are taking words and we are breaking them apart and putting them back together and trying them into something else. And so on Worst mid Wednesdays, we, every show as a word, our next show next week. Our word is reclaim. So that's the, that's the challenge, just to write about reclaim, name your piece, reclaim or use it in your, using your piece. We have brother old always comes up. We have a dedicated listener in a Chicago that beats my butt in smithing the word every single show.

59:19So, and it's a beating that I'm, that I very much welcome. I enjoy listening to how other people come out and how other artists reimagine the words that, that I come up with to, to smith. So yeah, join us, yeah. I thank, thank you, Dr. Shannon, for making my words to Wednesdays. We were tuning in next Wednesdays, it was to Wednesdays, also by Dr. Shabler's and Urban Boodoo every Thursday, Thursday Wednesdays. HZM and that was my sister, Dr. Amon's calling in from the walk Wisconsin and they're going to take this last call before we take a station ID, bring me back to our future. This call is eight code three, one, seven, seven, eight, eight, code three, zero, one, seven, seven, eight, you allowed me to brush your talk show,

1:00:23but I was there, never, professor of poetry along with sister, she's a brother, Chapman and Dean of Storm. And I especially get some honor from the roads of Chicago. Please stay named where you call it from. This is all the Mad Cards, Mads. How you doing? Mads, there's that Aisha brother. I'm feeling good, man, I'm, I'm my head driving the truck man. I said, you know what? I said, let me support my brother. I saw you and you know, I got love for a brother of, you know what I mean? I got love with the Dean of Storm, uh, uh, another one. You know, I, I supported her, um, many occasions. So I want to give love to the everybody on the panel. So love to everyone on the panel. Yeah, we appreciate you, our Mad Cards,

1:01:24Maddick, what, what's, what's tonight? I'm going to do a freestyle call to black fist. Stay together, black fist. Yes. I'll just throw my kids brother. Go ahead. We are living in this danger. The world of remains of the world of trying to figure things out with the kids being hanged by the trees, it's like a disease. We're trying to find out what kind of essence can we get? They keep saying, no foul play. I guess that's the delay. So I, I'm looking at the young brothers. I'm looking at Nolan. I'm looking at these young brothers who are no longer here or in prison. These young brothers are there. I want them to feel

1:02:30their own black fist knowing what the ancestors have been through, knowing what they could be pulled from. How powerful this is a way to characterize the pressure to hold it together. To say that never we will be in that type of same situation. Pinnitrating the mind, Pinnitrating the vibe, something that we describe. They kill us, they all lie. No justice has been for us in this black fist. Remember the times, remember the days, remember the ages that we should not be afraid. We have had water holds sprayed on us. We have been so intimidating. Let's get out some situation. Let's get our minds together.

1:03:32To say like the black fist, like we raise all the way in the hides and say that I am revolution. Like Fred Hampton said, I am revolution. They are hanging us by the trees. And young lady was hanging so high at the fire department to come together. The questions were the answers to be our turn to find the pressure we wind this is the time we want to climb and reach. That we are not lost. That we are found that we know what's going on. This black fist, this gold token, the worst change to not be us spoken. They say that we are nothing but we will not be broken. We have climbed. We are keep climbing the mountain. And we are going to go on the mountain and we plan to stay on the mountain. No, we are not going to be afraid

1:04:37and everything that we say. My brother knows me.

1:05:42This is something that someone knows you. My young brothers are just getting hanged and people are saying no foul play. Black people do not hang themselves. We need to get that. We need to make that concrete. And our young people deserve justice. I am going to get the young brother known as well. He deserves justice. And every time we need to talk about us, they keep saying no foul play. I want to check the people's credentials. The people who are doing the autopsy. I want to know their credentials. And they are working for the establishment that no answers can be found. And sometimes we need to get even independent autopsy. We are not getting

1:06:49all the answers. But we are trying to get closer. But because the previous autopsy has been done, there are some things that are left out. So it's just so hard these days. Especially for young people getting hanged. How many times are young people are getting hanged by these trees? They keep saying no foul play. Come on now. For people who believe that and be global, we know history. We know historically. We used to be in black people. And we have to be honest with ourselves. Jackie Brothers. You know, I was a feedback on the IMA kids not to style about your black youth may be hanged. Oh yeah, I know like, I do believe that we do not hang

1:07:56ours. So they'll be in done. So yeah, we do deserve just as an issue and just be swept up under the rug all the time. So good, good, good, good feedback. You've heard this. So what's your feedback when it's free stop by all the bad kids medical about that people being had to get? Yeah, it's sad. This is a sad truth. You know, lightning this month said we're the strange fruit that's hanging from the trees still to the state of 2026. So that type of poetry is still with sadly, but the truth is like you and and you've earned both stated. We all know that is not our demonstration. As black folks, we are not hanging ourselves. And if we're doing so, we're not doing it. So that is in fact something that is being perpetrated upon still to the state. And this poem was very relevant

1:08:56and that freestyle was amazing. It was. I saw all the mad kids back when the best free scholars that I've ever heard besides either storm. He's like the queen of free stop. He's got name here on this brother of the king of free stop. And all the mad kids mad free say you call him in brother and he brought these coming up soon and like and we appreciate you calling brothers. You say by the other roads, driving them, driving the truck. A.J. Jim and that was all the mad kids mad at coordinates. This is for Madden and the ramen nation. Jominos, Jominos rigged. So this seems to pray for it. Safety y'all. Keep in the guide. They got to keep them coming on the roads. Now we need to take them. Must need

1:09:58a safe identification break. We uh, A.J. I mean you are two of the eight time basketball world and winning poor radio network presented. Present to the versus tall show. We're breaking down this customization where rising stars have the opportunity to shine. Also by your your truly the lead host brother of the American potential. Or she, Rahm Ars, a little she is a beautiful cold. Safety burns. Captain. The genus storm. We are on every setting for Wednesday of the month. Father number six or five five six two zero four four four show ideas not be one five five pressure star one. Just one of this and first thought you were going to speak. And now we're coming back. So I especially guess feature of the line of the roads on Chicago. A lot of you say with us? Yes sir. Okay my mom and the other you mentioned your a lot of your poor she is.

1:11:03This is a lot of chaos in your life. If you tell our mission audience uh, um, what when when times when is your poor, when is your poor she uh, the property of poor she is a true like the the the tell powerful stories are. And just to my people with US grace and uh, and maybe somebody else has just been. It's been. It's been. What you is experiencing uh, the reasons reasons their hearts. You tell them tell this is audience about that? Yes sir. I mean I'm right about what I know you know I never try to be something or somebody that I'm not. Um I've made some poor choices but I think I think I'm not talking about earlier how you know God gives us gifts to glorify him. And that's it. It's not to glorify us. It's not to glorify

1:12:05each other. It's to glorify him. And my life if you were to be able to play it back like a movie you can't deny his hands over my life. Like there's been times in my life where you could have probably physically seen the hands of God trying to tell me away from things that were not of him. But I just you know God will eventually give you what it is that you ask for even though he knows that ain't good for you. And um there are a lot of situations in my life where I wanted what I wanted and I wanted to do things my way but even though um I made poor decisions he had already factored that in so I think the purpose of my poetry is hope but I also could just to just show that God truly is really he has the final say and there's no denying that if you listen to the stories in my poem that you can't see God moving and it was a young lady actually who asked me the other day you know she was like you know how do I figure out like my purpose and I told her you

1:13:05know the first thing that I started doing was writing down my prayers because I think you know after human beings we get so thirsty for the next thing and the next thing and the next thing that we forget what we've prayed for and we can't even appreciate that we've gotten what we prayed for we can't even realize that we're walking in answer prayers because we're always so thirsty to ask God for the next thing and the next thing and so if you take the time and write down your prayers that is your documenting God's movement you know what I mean so I think my my poetry is really documentation of God's movement in my life and in the lives of others I mean he has really really rescued me in ways I never would have been able to do it for myself so I would say that it's just really a reflection and documented in real time how God has who God has been for me in my life honestly that's really really good the way you describe that yes you made a lot of

1:14:05fortifications but regardless so I mean poor decisions you made God he was God God keeps pulling you away some certain things and I experienced that person need several times like you want what you want for God as a plan for all of us God as a plan for each and every one of us you cannot cannot for God that's something for you with the right time the right season and that's how he would bless you cannot do I would say this scripture not my will but that will be done even if you have anything to add or ask a lot of roads about about how she's allowing God to go to a 40 journey oh yeah though like that's the best way oh my God I got you through your journey

1:15:14you know so and yeah because like if we tried to do it hour away and not include him though it well we look at her wrong each time exactly it's storm or does that anything anything at I just love that I mean it's such a beautiful way um for her to be able to express her poetry based on her fate and her beliefs and that is always on the side yes I'm very excited about her sake provided the second piece of night leaves her give us a title whenever you read the four-to-mic yours yes sir you know I did not entitle this one I that's something that I do need to work on um if I'm gonna do this is maybe giving my pieces of title right um but I can't say for this one I really

1:16:18this was one of my favorite ones because it really takes me back down memory lane and I think you know again I think the beauty of having the the blessing of being black I hope that I'm black and my next lifetime and the next time time after that um because as black people no matter where we are in the world there's just some things culturally that we all understand so I really enjoy this piece um so if you guys are listening at home I hope you're to enjoy it too and sing along even if y'all want to come in and sing along with what you remember from this piece okay so whenever you read I can start okay this is it yeah I'm title piece I'm a one year old one of mic is yours twitty literally twitty literally treat top popsicle popsicle a band band she was rocking in the treat top all day long husband and the plop and anything you know that song all the little birds on day by street learning either why to go watch she'll feed rock and rock and rock and tweet tweet

1:17:21I love the beat rock and rock and tweet tweet I love the beat mama's in the kitchen burning that right daddy's on the corner judges and that night brother Ben gel reading that bell sister's on the corner saying through cocktail rock and rock and rock and tweet tweet I love the beat rock and rock and rock and rock and tweet tweet I love the beat and that sweltering hot double-dutch shi town early 2000's heat especially when the rope was thick and it hit the pavement one two one two and I know I was double-handed but that might have been offbeat so one for the money two for the show three again ready and four to go let's go get your booty in the rope jumping straight into my pre-teens with full force on a smelling myself overdose eating the consequences of a path that my daddy chose which didn't include me so I was on my own to navigate the difference between a boy promises versus the actions that he showed it was only a matter

1:18:23of time until one of them little niggas sees me because he my father left me without a covering let me tell you how I learned my first lesson of love versus lust let me tell you about the very first time a little boy betrayed my trust I am a little fifth grader as pretty as I can be beaten all the boys around my block I crazy over me me my boyfriend's name is yellow he lives in Alabama got 25 toes on the ring of the nose and this is how my story goes one day I was walking I saw my boyfriend talking to the ugliest girl in the whole wild world and this is what he said to her I love you love you not can I say kiss you and I am my ass miss you and this is what I said to him a b c d now get your black hands off of me from that day I learned the nature of a male he will

1:19:23sell you all the dreams and go chase a whole love of two it don't matter what her face look like what the hubbucker cow even her body cow he goes round all out love versus lust and that's pretty deep for a playground lesson especially when playground lessons go unlearned you see the right words can unlock the fool and the brightest of girls and I was one but I wasn't dumb I had just heard of the thing called love and I wanted some so 10 year old rose grows into 17 year old hard headed rose who was supposed to be in Spanish class but one other see and I said east a west I met my boyfriend at the candy store he bought me ice and then he brought me cake he brought me home with a belly ache mama mama I'm so sick call the doctor quick quick quick doctor doctor when I die just close your eyes and count to five one two three four five I can do it I wanted

1:20:27my baby and besides my baby daddy said he loved me and we were gonna be a family 17 so the dream by a thief would even let self-esteem than me heading in the complete opposite direction I had no concept of just how much I needed the Lord's protection my God in heaven down on the front there's a hanky pants and bulldog bulldog hanky pants at feet five four five pass it to the bulldog Mickey Mouse built a house Donald Duck messed it up who will pay the consequences or respond to the stability why oh you spelled you are out and I was out every goddamn time out my money out my energy and out my mind trying to get a man to love me who put a baby in me but only

1:21:28ever lusted over me chose the streets over me does hold under me and host I fall from a broken heart and he could bury me but not here he come calling me from California and 26th Street they done assigned this nigga to the kitchen for after he cooks and they done with the count he calls me with the tea change change change I don't want to call the Mexico no more more more there's a big sats policeman at my door door door he grabbed me by my collar he made me pay a dollar I don't want to call the Mexico no more more more same on you so what's the lesson accountability does not ask for permission he will force himself upon you if you do not accept him himself and quiet as kept you can't avoid responsibility then try to play daddy from a jail cell get the present

1:22:31parent here because you said you don't matter demise you can't even begin to describe and I really can't understand why you called me looking for sympathy knowing that in my mouth words never hide you did this to yourself and all because you wanted to slide well slide slide slippery slide your mom and got no hair on the side and your daddy look like Frankenstein and cook county to give you all this time one one one one two one two one two one two three one two three one two three one two three one two three four five six years away from your kids and you can't even see that you're wrong but I said so long farewell to you my friend goodbye for now until we meet again the trauma of little black girls woven into magic and laughter on our granny's front porch we cried out tears but God

1:23:37delinous our joy right after inviting creation into the spaces of our shared disasters surrendering our howled into the rhythm of our hands and the mercy of our master just like our ancestors creating translating pain into games we played on those floatering hot Chicago summer days just to keep us together who claims that trauma can't build bonds that can withstand even the most unforgiving of weather me and you must never put my key dad my and you was have one heart my key dad ain't no ocean ain't no sea my key dad I keep my sister away from me my key dad thank you now that was amazing the life of not here rose I don't like to ask what it's like to write right

1:24:44that particular poem the poem just basically just Congress all your experiences yeah and it's not again it's not just my experience it's it's I think this is a shared experience of a lot of us as young girls and I don't know if you guys have ever watched a movie as a kid and then when you watch it as adult you're like oh this is what they mean so I don't know if you guys recognize those songs but those are you know nursery rhymes that as kids we used to play as little girls and we would make a rhythm with our hands and you know when I was sitting at Pinslow and I was thinking about and I said oh my god like this stuff had a meaning to it and you know it's connected us all like I've done this poem in Atlanta I've done it in Silly and I wasn't sure if the crowd would understand but as black people that's how thick the culture runs that no matter

1:25:45where we are in the world we all understood these hand games right and then as you're singing it as a 31 32 year old woman who didn't like my grandma said live the little man I'm not alive but I live the little I get it now and so now these hand games because I'm gonna I'm gonna adult woman and looking back on my younger self I realized what we were actually saying and it just it was it was a way to connect everyone into my personal story and then I realized that my story really wasn't that personal because a lot of us women have gone through that and this story is kind of just these poems that I'm reading tonight they were all written on separate occasions different dates but you know God is so good there was a time when I was working at the aid office a lot of things happened when I was at the aid office on Saturday night night I did all 80th and college and there was a woman she wasn't even my client but she came to my desk one day she says I know you're gonna think that I'm crazy

1:26:47but God said that he has some serious blessings for you but he can't release them until you write your book I'm like what is this lady talking about and I was about 23 24 fast 4 going to Penn flow it's been a year now and now I have all these poems that literally flow like the story of my life so the first poem I presented today you know it was a very start of you know my negative interactions and relationship with men which was you know my first who was supposed to be my first love which is my father who grossly disappointed me every chance he got and you know I'm not blame me you know but I think that that has set a pattern for what my expectations are when it comes to men and obviously I think you know with the poetry is it's allowing me to reclaim some of that to say hey just because that that was a standard that was set that does not mean that that has to be the standard that you live by you know and I think for young women a lot of times I think

1:27:48you can ask anyone who doesn't have her father you feel so vulnerable because your father is your first edge of protection and I don't care nobody say man can smell it on you when you don't have your father I don't know if they can tell by the way we're hyphen independent I don't care I don't know if it's the way we walk or the way we talk but man can tell when you don't have that covering and men are going to be very careful the way they treat you when they know that they have somebody to answer to and men in my life knew that there was nobody that they had to answer to someone you dropped me off in my mama house there wasn't no man checking to make sure I didn't have tears in my eyes or bruises on my face you know what I mean and they took advantage so this particular piece was just kind of talking about my very beginnings as a young lady you know maybe you know in fifth grade and you know that's normally the time when you start smelling yourself a little bit and you start looking at boys a little differently and boys are looking at you and so that was that story from how I got to being with my children's father who was now incarcerated and so just how

1:28:48these types of habits and behaviors slow into your adult life if you don't fix it so those insecurities that I had the mistrust that I had in me and you know I don't even think I realized that there was better out there for me you know in my environment I didn't have men in my household I was raised by my grandmother my aunt and my mother um so I don't I don't even think that I thought that there was better out there you know I kind of just I really just wanted to be loved and wanted that family element and I believed my children's fathers you know when they say you know I love you are we gonna be a family and so that's kind of what that poem was about and um kind of shows you where I am now with it if that makes any sense that's that's just that was amazing amazing a lot it's a lot of roles really amazing teachers learn you see that you see that you see that oh yeah um you know I was a likened no one she was just and no about um like um

1:29:54yeah like what though you're having the father see get like going up I didn't have one as a way although I'm trying to cope with that and um oh yeah no so no idea like you know the part you know those those songs you were thinking like the things we saw as the as children dodo that did bring back memories build uh um yeah the same yeah the songs and all that so yeah uh yeah so I wasn't feedback on his piece yeah those took me back to my childhood too I was thinking about something double dutch and also like we would do the hand games and we would sing these little rhymes like when we were playing games like um hide and go seek and whatnot it was just crazy flashback to my youth but like you said um it's everywhere we all we share the culture and and it's one of the beautiful things

1:30:57and like you said you know if you came back you want to be black I think that every time that I've been here I've been black and I'm going to continue to come black so I'm also with long with you when it comes to that vein no say to anybody else but loving to be black and these are just part of the things that we grew up with and how we learned and how we share and how express ourselves beautiful beautiful well I was saying uh my my cousin's awesome his piece is uh the real father now he's you have it that in the songs like you have the impact of dollars like to because but how your presence you're gonna try to go when she gets in the days he's gonna try to find somebody like you that's exactly what happens when you don't have they daughter doesn't have a father in her life the fathers they do

1:32:00add to them their daughters lives there's a difference and we'll really soak out we really soak out about what you said about that is uh they can be fed as a woman where you haven't fathered nine year life yeah that's that's something that that's something that that's that's true it's true and I'm like I think I said that that's why that's why fathers need to be more present in their daughters lives well that was that was that was that was the comment that really that really shouldn't quote quote me on that okay okay so all right just continue with this feature y'all this has

1:33:01been amazing feature versus talk show tonight now I told y'all this was amazing I told y'all well my line of your roles since you since you uh got started a year ago uh what what made what what what made you get what who gave the stage and the line of roles and uh well no that's not all going in and uh no the other question is what do you what do you envision yourself doing with your poetry and and then what do you envision doing what you doing your porch at where you what would you like to just go to the right to take your poetry well some of my real name is my is is my line of roles my middle name is rose so I normally go by rose on the stage I was my grandmother's name and um I don't know I've really been

1:34:04missing her lately and I feel like she would be very proud of me so I think to I think I I I think this version of myself um she would be really really proud of not saying that she wouldn't have been proud of the other versions but I think I'm really walking into what guidance called me to be and I think that my grandmother was always always um on her piece in cues and walking in guys light and now that I think that I've reached that level of I mean I'm not gonna grow in but I think I reached a level where I think I've earned her the right to be named after her and I think that she would be proud of what I'm doing um and so it's kind of just like an honor to her because no one um people like in my personal life like my family would call me rose um but uh I think roses is is is the the I don't want to say new me but I I this version of myself is rose and so I think

1:35:09it's a gold by my grandmother's name in honor of her and honor of the work that I've done because it took me a while to get here um it took me a while to truly get to that point of faith where it's like um I don't know I just feel like when I call you to something I mean obviously you have to put in work because faith that that work is dead but all that pulling a teeth and and forcing doors open that's just not a thing when he calls you to it it was somebody I can't remember who said it but they were like you know if God if it's God's idea it's his bill it's on his dime and so as long as you're obedient he will provide you the resources and the tools you know that means so this season has been powerful but light it has been so light I mean the opportunities have just been coming versus I'm trying to do other things in my life it just seems like I was trying to map out this path and one thing that I've just been praying is God go before me and when I

1:36:11tell you he literally has like I was saying what when I've been traveling there has not been one place that I've had to go by myself everywhere he has made sure that angels have met me even if there's something simple like the store is on the plane being extra nice to me and giving me an extra apple juice whatever it is I mean God is just sending signs that hey you are on the right path so to answer your question about where I envision myself I truly pray that I am able to do this full time and and just travel the world and and share what God is doing for me and to inspire others because I I think a lot of us have the gift of storytelling rather it rhymes or not I had a friend of mine a child her friend of mine who recently lost her father and we were just sitting like we used to as kids sitting out on my porch and she was staring a sharing with me the story of her father recently came to visit her spiritually and the way she told that story I mean just made me

1:37:17tremble and so I think you know when when you see others walking in their gifts that inspires you too and she just really inspired me and I I think that she was willing to open up and talk to me because she knows you know number one I speak and I share stories that people probably don't believe or it would be hard to share and so I think that she trusted me in that so I hope that me being willing to share and be open about things that maybe most people wouldn't be honest about I pray that that inspires others to tell the truth of their life because especially now a day with this social media everybody thinks that they are celebrity everybody think you know everybody is creating a version of this deal that they think other people would want to see I've never been a palatable person I've never been everybody favorite so I had to kind of grow up learning how to you know stand on my own two feet so I've never been the type of person to just go with what's

1:38:21popular so I really don't care how people perceive me or you know as long as I'm not out here hurting people you know I stand on my own ten toes and I kind of just do what roles choose us to do and I stand by who it is that I am and who got it called me to be so I don't really have a problem presenting as who I am naturally but you know now with social media you can kind of pick and choose what people see of you and people I just create in these personas that just aren't that just isn't real if I'm hoping for my my poetry to bring back some authenticity you know even in the poetry saying you know I've been a lot of us you know we talk about the same things because we think that's what people want to hear and and know people want to hear more than just your sex and whichever vagina does or what your penis does or about your gang bagging you know we want to hear the depth of your soul and so I hope that that when I'm speaking and just talking about my experiences especially with me like as a woman like I'm just very careful because I know sometimes how people

1:39:24might look at me and see me so I'm just very very careful of you know presenting myself well and representing women well because we are more than just our bodies and our sexual nature so yeah that's that's my goal to go all over the world and just share share my life hey go a lot of our truly believe that until two years and now you're gonna be you're gonna be a bunch of among the great greats in the Chicago poetry community and that's of what you're really true because you got you got it you got the intractor already that I said I received it when I when I see somebody your caliber doing what you did I saw sports you you got it you got the impact you you got you got the chance to be you wanted to great the greats in the poetry community you got it thank you I received that thank you so much thank me so much kind of

1:40:34for sure thank you I'm working on it you've earned these you have any any feedback to get any questions any other questions oh not not right now okay jinnison the value yeah I just simply want to say this I hope that everything that you hope and dream for the things that you pray about come to fruition and like you said you have the faith and you're putting in the work and I agree with brother oh you want in a world that needs light to continue to shine all I can say is twinkle twinkle little star thank you yes yes and uh for that being said in a lot of roads presented so the final piece of the night and when they just read the floor of my

1:41:36gills and after that you learned my self and then some of the comments we would like you to provide your social media information any events that you got coming up yeah also um yeah also we just have one last caller after this okay but take that call after all of that take the last call this as you close out the show my roles of whether you're trying to find a piece of the night ready to pull the mic is yours look what I got in the mail today y'all it's what my baby daddy called his letter of repentance you see they just gave him his sentence now they're looking to me for redemption bitches bitchette phone them and the rest are already full man for the last 5 strategies holding his chest hope and praying to an apology letter will help him get over on me next I ain't got a dime

1:42:41towards no phone he owes me a check commentary do you know how expensive it is to feed your kids nigga very got me out here cleaning up your messes like a hoover while you in there with Larry I am mad than a mother you traded fatherhood for a jump suit now you expect me to jump through hoops put my kids through metal detectors every week being treated like we were subhuman too when I was rooting for you and I saw this comment just because you and got no sense don't mean that since ain't common nigga I saw this comment never again say out your mouth that I am mad at you I'm indifferent no longer looking for you to be consistent and that's the difference you ain't my enemy but you've gone out your way to show you ain't no friend to me I need you to stop pretending as if your disappearance will somehow make a difference and if you've lived up to the privilege of being the father of my offspring and my lineage we will be okay without you we always had to be okay without

1:43:49you I've learned that to protect us it's about you I don't want to hear the jail mathematics whether you end there for five ten fifteen years I ain't doing no acrobatics I don't owe you a thing I'm not a supported or benefited from your bad habits whatever you was doing you need to go console who you was doing it with you ain't never helped me with clothes transportation utility to always I'm never conspired with you for selling your soul for a sin I love you and that was the difference if I ever loved you I will always love you you were the one that was flaky I've always been consistent but now I'm a love you from a distance because now I realize you'll only see me when I disappear and you know what I want you to do I really want you to shut up talking to me I don't need your letter and I dance you don't need your apology even when you have the opportunity you never helped me I'll never forget and this is a true story I need it ten dollars to get to work

1:44:51and he happened to have two five to rub together that day he took that wrinkle money and he I'll face I had given him everything and I had nothing to my name so I had no choice but to bend down and pick up that money and shame but because God don't play about me I hope your selling don't find that you in lame and I know some of y'all may be listening to this I wish he was a stupid whole well yeah maybe so but not no more you see he learned me just so that he could destroy me I guess I let him on and made him think that he could toy me but here's the funny thing when those shots ran out nigga I ran towards you but those dudes you call your homie got a better than avoided you and that's the difference six of y'all homies feeling that very corner with dirty draws on and booty chief clutching a burner but they ran let a nigga up on you and watch your attempted murder they can see the difference between fantasy and fiction we all saw how your homie folded under tension I'm uninterested in your current intention thank you

1:45:54well that was amazing when spies write this piece um my child's father the day I went to Penn Flow I got a letter in the mail from him and he's doing a lengthy prison sentence for the foolishness and I used to work in corrections so I know when someone is trying to finesse I could I used to have three letters and things like that and I just thought that it was so appalling that he was even saying anything to me um because look what you've done and I know that unfortunately we have kind of glorified incarceration and game banging and murder and shooting and violence but I'm just never gonna be that person that believes that because we black we have to enter the system he made a choice and that choice was over his children and you I'm very much so when you pick a side you got to stay over there especially when it comes to my kids my kids are not

1:46:59fidget spending you can't pick them up just because you boarded far playing with them because if you were busy being a father you wouldn't be where you were at so I was very offended by the letter because I it's too late for an apology because my children are going to sleep every night in tears because they miss their father and that was just one thing you know that I thought we were on the same page about was that we were both going to be here present for these kids it wasn't about me wasn't about him it was about these children and the fact that some dudes on a corner who have left you hanging high and dry uh with any idiot could have predicted the fact that you chose them over the beautiful little girl that's just unforgivable for me and God will work on my heart but I hope that he he's fit there and every night he thinks about the pain that he has put these little girls through and shame on him and so the the topic that night at Penn Flow was that's the difference and you know

1:48:03in the poem he just kept saying you know I know that you're mad at me I'm not mad at you I care less I'm not mad at you honey I'm indifferent and I meant that you know you've never been much of a father so your disappearance you know again everybody thinks that they're a celebrity don't create a space in my life and in my children's life that you have never owned nobody's going to miss you you wasn't there before don't try to repress it from a jail sales stay where you at and enjoy your friends on the yard and that's just genuinely how I feel and I feel feel that way so that's what inspired that piece yeah that was that was a proper response proper response that was a proper response you made that choice stay over there you got it absolutely absolutely yes over you made this choice over your daughters come on man you did that too you did that to yourself you can't got nobody to blame for yourself yeah and I think a bigger

1:49:06piece of that poem was again again showing God's movement because if he wasn't a bit arrested I wouldn't know what he was out here doing because I never knew that side of him and so I thank God because we are we we're from the same hood so you out here doing people dirty I could be driving down whatever street and somebody see me in my kids and because of you you know this is Chicago you know kids aren't just dying for no reason they're attached to fool this is an effect that you don't care enough about your kids to make better decisions so yeah I I was happy because you know his friends love to talk and they see me posted on Facebook I don't know maybe they was holding the phone to the phone so he could hear it but he was very upset about the poem and he called me yelling it screaming about it and I could care less and I'm gonna keep the material just writes itself you know I'm a key talking because you know people don't get to people don't get to try to change the narrative of who they were in your life you know after the fact if you wanted

1:50:08me to say nice things about you then you should have been a better person you know so my poetry is truth is not here to paint anybody in a certain light it's just the truth of what the facts are that hurts people's feelings then that's something that they got to deal with but that's never my intention I'm just sharing my truth I appreciate a platform such as this where I can be honest and you know I think the art scene is one space where you can everybody can talk about and say whatever and not feel judged you know I think it's the one space where we can talk about our intrusive thoughts and just be real about how we're feeling because you know everybody wants to be politically correct about everything and not make ways I'm a wave maker I'm a hurricane for sure I don't know my shaking things up when you go so yeah yeah well what's your feedback on that on that pool oh yeah so um you know just then um there for it's important for parents to be there for the

1:51:09okay it's no and um and that way they don't have to get caught up in the system and make bad decisions though so yeah oh my god yes okay so I've been married in the worst wife and both of my ex-husband had a stint in the little county jail I was born in race in july yet I don't know about the cook county jail um but you know jail is jail and I remember telling my ex-husband when I didn't my daughter could read as well as she did and she said Aurora County jail it's my daddy and jail from the backseat of the car I was going to pick him up and I said to myself this is one and done not only should you not have done what you did to get arrested but you will not drag me and our child through this with you so if you go back to jail simply sir

1:52:13the judge broke us up and I appreciate you for standing fast to your word and looking out for your babies because those are your blessings from God not that he was a mistake but he made a choice and like he said they are better off even though they're missing him not having that influence in their lives and out there he be angry with you telling your truth girl keep telling it tell you from the bootstops I'm here for all of it absolutely and I love I'm not I'm not I'm not credit him because if he wasn't for that letter this is kind of what started it all it was this piece this is the first one that I wrote and if it wasn't for this one people wouldn't have paid no attention probably for anything I said so I again you know God will use your enemies at your footstool and this is the perfect example and man of that you know again I'm not just hating on he wasn't a good person even before that so you know he wrote me this letter thinking he was finesse in me and and now I'm using this letter you know to you know to you know to push my my career

1:53:21and to bless my life and to hopefully introduce something so that I can introduce my kids to something greater so again you know people think that they're messing with you but but God don't like to be challenged and he certainly he's a overprotective father he really really is so I didn't have my dad my my my physical you know blood father but I have a guy in heaven who has always looked out for me and there has never been a person who has done anything to me that God didn't see him for so I'm grateful to him that he wrote that letter because that put a fire up under me and these words are far they coming and blessings are they coming out of nowhere where people are asking me to come and share my story so again brother oh I just can't thank you enough because you did not have to receive me the way that you did but you received me in kindness and love and encouragement and that's just not something unfortunately that I'm seeing a month the younger generation of people in this scene and then you know there's just again there's enough space for all of us

1:54:26you know because none of us can contribute what the other contributes we are all different and so I'm hoping that that your spirit and your energy kind of overflows into all of us so that we can you know make space for everyone and welcome everyone and encourage everyone because it really ain't about us you know when I was in Silly it was in the middle of love park I don't know if you guys are familiar with love park but it's like downtown kind of like what would be their grant park and I was performing these pieces and people stopped from all over to listen and there was two particular people in the audience that I just connected with and I like to move around I'm doing my poetry I don't like to stand and one place because I really am talking to y'all and I run my mouth all the time if I found a use for my big mouth but there was a woman who walked up to me and she said you know my child's father he's incarcerated and she was sharing her story about how she's actually just recently lost custody of her child and she you know started breaking down I was

1:55:29able to pray with this woman God sent me the filly for her there was another guy in the audience when I said that poem and he walked up to me he said you know you got me thinking about my daughter I struggled with substance abuse for years and I missed out on the light and she's angry with me I was able to encourage him to let him know that your daughter would have loved you through that addiction and she's gonna love you now just reach out to her she ain't that mad that she ain't gonna receive her father and whatever level like I tell my people all the time like you know I would have taken my father I would have rather my father been homeless on the street and been there for me then he and have been the guy that he the prominent man that he is now and a deadbeat you know I would have taken my father just having him in my space and so it was those two people that I truly feel like God sent me the filly for it wasn't for me to perform it wasn't for me to get put on God is truly he will send you to places even if it's just for one individual

1:56:30so I'm again I'm not sharing my story hoping for you know monetary blessings or for features I truly enjoy the way God moves and I know every time that we speak whoever the artist is we're sent to speak specifically to somebody no difference in the past on Sunday that somebody in the audience who needs to hear that message so when all of us are speaking there is somebody there that we are speaking to and God sent us there for if I'm just I feel like every time I perform it's just a mission so I'm so grateful yeah well seven mighty roles and with that being said please tell the people where they can find your social media and what is this yeah coming up yes so you can find me on Instagram my name on Instagram is Milan Rose blog so that's in this in mouse I as an igloo L as in lamp as an apple and as a Nancy R as in Rose or as an octopus

1:57:32as is in Sam E as an echo B as in ball L as in lamp O as an octopus G as in gate and then on Facebook it's Malana M Y L A N A Rose R O S E Williams with an S and TikTok is official Malan Rose so spelled like I've said it before so yeah that's how you can find me I don't have anything like where I'm gonna feature anything like that lined up next but I do always normally perform at pencil on Wednesdays but please come to pencil anyways rather I'm there or not pencil is a space for anybody even if you're not a writer even if you don't consider yourself for poet that is just I mean it's literally like a family gathering every Wednesday is the one space I know that no matter what you write how you write whether you sing and dance or whatever it is

1:58:36you will be received and encouraged in love so shout out to Jovonne Katrina Dewey Away everybody my pencil family there we and Ty who's always on the camera we really appreciate the space that you guys provide every Wednesday so that's pencil 4 5 0 4,500 South Cottage Grove or either 4 5 0 4 South Cottage Grove but it's at house of hands you can't miss it every Wednesday as far as 7 7 so please come and and fellowship with us thank you very much the information Malana Rose is my pleasure to actually hear on verse of talk show you did an amazing job and thank you I pray is that you reach out to the women didn't have the daughters in their lives this is this is the I see that this is the

1:59:37past God is saying he's sending you the Pacific cities to reach out to somebody taking a woman didn't have a father in their life just like you didn't and you can say you said that experience with filming and you're going to make a big gift that I see making a big impact on the lives of women that didn't had it in that if I was president in life and you got to see you doing great things yes thank you so much I'll surely appreciate you speaking that life and for me so surely yeah if and if I can be any help me you can you know when it reached me you can hit me up on message that's it anytime just you know I will like because I you know I've been around for six going on since I've

2:00:41been around for 16 years so when I just mind and I'm not script I talk to script you say he's script he asks his bout brother oh he's he's he's he's gonna tell like it is he's he's he shows up he shows up everybody he don't after he doesn't care he doesn't care that you see the poor a lot of the stars you know give him an opportunity that's what I did tonight because I believe that everybody has a story to tell and this my vision versus Tar show is a diverse I believe in the diversity I believe in the equity and the clues on the show and every point that I feature to bring some bring some brings some difference done some differences by you you said your

2:01:47experiences about now having a father in your life and and episode where your baby's father wrote you a letter and then you responded to him the way you did so this this is this is what this was all about I believe in the poor he telling his story through the transparency this is the authentic of you all which hey this is been another wonderful episode versus Tar show and the next next feature we have is Trina Norton thought Samson from Chicago this is my my true sister in important poetry and you know the age going to end for a treat y'all this is an evangelist sister's a powerful woman

2:02:49of God and please come into that so on September 23rd I have all the all the all the features of book for 2026 so far 2027 I have but 16 features the majority these porcelain for Wisconsin I have eight spots left y'all so he going fast if you want to spot contact you know eight spook on the home my brother gathered or an Instagram under the name brother on the school of them milking 1975 y'all so each I see my aunt shabby on Facebook you didn't storm on Facebook too or get those spots a spot's left so get him get him while they're still available y'all and this is this has been this has been an incredible night y'all that's old y'all the

2:03:53Melinda roses going to put them along the roads especially she is special because uh because that's a powerful young sister who needs more exposure but that being said ladies and gentlemen we catch up with you on the 10 every Monday night they same bad times same bad channels and uh god bless everybody good night tonight tonight night night by great great show absolutely yeah yeah how hard it is full? yes I introduce you to someone tonight

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