
Raphael Meyer: Tracing Hidden Crypto in a Divorce
About this episode
What does a hidden crypto account actually leave behind? More than most people expect. A wire to an exchange, a recurring card charge, a taxable event on a return: cryptocurrency runs on a system that sits alongside the ordinary one, but the two keep crossing paths, and those crossings are where a hidden asset becomes visible.
Raphael Meyer was born in Paris, has a background in computer science, and has spent nine years in cryptocurrency as an investor and author. His book, Keys to Bitcoin, explains how the technology works under the hood. He came on as a favor after one of Lisa's clients asked how to prove an ex was hiding money in crypto, a problem that turns up again and again in high-conflict divorce, where full financial disclosure is exactly the thing an abusive ex refuses to give.
Raphael explains why timing decides so much. During discovery your ex is at least somewhat inclined to cooperate; once the judgment is signed, that cooperation can vanish. He describes the trail crypto leaves on bank and credit-card statements, the way a public ledger records every Bitcoin transaction from the beginning, and the small hardware devices, cold-storage wallets from companies like Trezor and Ledger, whose purchase can itself be a clue. Because the IRS treats crypto as property, nearly everything done with it is a taxable event, so an ex who hid coins and never reported them has a credibility problem waiting to surface.
He and Lisa also work through the money math: why a two-hundred-dollar purchase from years ago could be worth far more or nothing today, why it is smarter to state a value in dollars on a set date than to agree to split volatile coins down the road, and how to decide when a crypto investigator is worth hiring and when the amount is too small to bother.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Why the discovery phase is the window to ask about crypto, and how cooperation drops once the divorce is final
- The traces crypto leaves: wires and card charges to exchanges like Coinbase, Kraken, and Gemini
- How a public ledger keeps most crypto transactions traceable, even after a transfer to a private wallet
- What a hardware wallet (Trezor, Ledger) is, and why buying one can signal hidden holdings
- The discovery questions to ask: list every account and external wallet, and pull all the statements
- How unreported crypto shows up (or fails to) in tax returns, and what that does to your ex's credibility
- Why you should value crypto in dollars on a set date instead of agreeing to split the coins later
- When hiring a crypto investigator is worth it, and when the amount is too small to chase
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 What cryptocurrency is, and how it runs alongside the banking system
5:00 Raphael's background, and why exes try to hide money in crypto
7:00 Where to start: catching it during the discovery phase
9:00 The traces: wires to Coinbase and Kraken, and buying with cash
13:00 Why the public ledger keeps most crypto traceable
17:00 Hardware wallets, cold storage, and the Ledger clue
19:00 What to ask for in discovery, and the tax-return angle
23:00 Volatility: why to set the value in dollars on a fixed date
27:00 Crypto investigators, cost-benefit, and when it is worth it
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Raphael Meyer's book, Keys to Bitcoin: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734773324
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
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