Understanding Bipolar Disorder

Might as well share them right now.

In 2018, I lost my big sister, Rachel, to suicide,

who suffered from bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.

So I've seen what bipolar does.

First hands will understand the experience really well

that after my sister passed away in 2018.

Again, she died by suicide.

I've been researching it and studying it,

thinking about it, talking to people, hearing stories

since 2018, about all sorts of mental health conditions,

but specifically on bipolar disorder,

because obviously I have a very deep connection to it

with my sister, who is my guiding light.

And so that's where I'm coming from with this episode.

And so I get not a clinician, not a doctor,

none of those things, but someone who just really cares.

And so I'm going to attempt a deep dive

into bipolar disorder.

So if I miss anything throughout the episode,

or you have a different experience,

please drop those in the comments or reach out to me.

I'd love all the information and feedback as possible.

So if you've ever wondered what bipolar disorder

really looks like, or if you or someone you love

may be dealing with it, I think this episode might be for you.

So let's start with the first question.

What is bipolar disorder?

Bipolar disorder is a chronic mental health condition

that affects a person's mood, energy levels, thinking,

and behavior.

It is characterized by extreme mood episodes

that fall into two main categories.

So manic or hypomanic episodes, which are the highs,

and then you have depressive episodes, which are the lows.

These episodes are not just emotional states, right?

People with bipolar disorder are not just having mood swings,

right?

They involve real, measurable changes in brain chemistry,

sleep, judgment, and functioning, right?

An important note is that bipolar disorder

is not the same as having mood swings.

I hope that has made clear throughout this episode

and right now as I'm saying it, right?

Moved swings can happen in hours.

Bipolar episodes typically last days, weeks,

or even months, or years, and can seriously disrupt work,

relationships, and daily life.

So between episodes, many people with bipolar disorder

feel stable and function normally,

which is one reason why the condition is often misunderstood

or even misdiagnosed or even not diagnosed to begin with.

And so we're going to part one of that,

which is hypomania or mania, the highs, right?

Let's talk about mania because this is the part

of bipolar disorder that's often sort of glamorized

or even joked about, which again, is not right.

I think there's a stat, and I'm not 100% sure on this.

So please fact check me, but I believe the stat is at 20,

by people with bipolar disorder are 20 to 30% more likely

to die by suicide.

So again, not to be glamorized, not to be joked about,

something to be taken very, very, very seriously.

So what is mania?

A manic episode is a period of abnormally elevated,

expansive or irritable mood, lasting at least one week,

and severe enough to cause major problems in daily life.

So common symptoms might include extremely high energy

and restlessness, literal or no need for sleep,

racing thoughts, rapid or pressured speech,

inflated self-esteem or grandiosity, increased risk taking,

spending sprees, reckless driving, impulsive sex,

poor judgment, and feeling invincible or uniquely powerful.

I mean, I remember a couple times on some of my sister, Rachel,

her sort of her manic episodes, she thought she could become

president of the United States, she bought a sports car,

she did have sort of impulsive and reckless sex.

And so all of these things happen, and these are the common

symptoms that you see with a person experiencing a manic episode.

And I saw these firsthand with my sister, Rachel.

And so in very, very severe cases,

a mania can include psychosis, which is hallucinations or delusions.

This is where things can become dangerous.

I believe towards the tail end of my sister's life,

she developed schizophrenia, but it may just been,

I don't know for sure, right?

But it may have just been a severe case of mania,

which included some psychosis because she had some delusions

or hallucinations about the government being in our house

and things of that nature.

And so it could have been a combination of a severe case

of a manic episode, or it could have been the onset of schizophrenia.

And so anyways, just thought I'd point that out again.

I'm going to share these personal stories

throughout to reinforce some of these facts and truths and

understandings about bipolar disorder.

Again, so now we move into hypomania.

Hypomania is a less intense form of mania,

and it may look like increased productivity,

heightened creativity, elevated confidence,

sociability, and charm, right?

And so again, this is where these things can be glamorized

and missed because they have potentially a positive social outcome,

which is interesting to understand as well when it comes to bipolar disorder

and the different pieces of it.

But even hypomania can spiral, especially if, again,

untreated, glamorized, joked about, ignored.

And here's the real sort of uncomfortable truth about it all.

People, many people enjoy their sort of hypomania at first,

which makes bipolar disorder, again, incredibly tricky

because the very symptoms that feel good

can also lead to very bad long-term consequences.

So this is why it's important to understand what's actually going on.

And then we go to the second part of what encompasses

bipolar disorder, which is depression or the lows.

So we talk about the other side of this, right,

of is bipolar depression.

Again, this is not just sadness.

I did a whole entire podcast episode about depression,

about the truths, the misconceptions,

and the facts surrounding depression.

So please go check that out in relationship to this episode

on bipolar disorder.

Again, the other side of bipolar disorder

is bipolar depression, the lows.

Again, this is not just sadness.

This is not apathy.

This is not grief.

This is totally, totally different beast and animal

because bipolar disorder can feel like emotionally numb

or extremely painfully, psychologically heavy,

exhausted, exhausting, even after sleep.

You're filled with guilt and shame and worthlessness.

It feels like your mind is actually

trying to move through mud.

Common symptoms might include persistent low mood.

Persistent is a very important word there

because we all feel sad at times.

We all have low mood at times

as part of being a human in this world,

but the persistence and the duration

and the sort of a cause and effect relationship

is important to note when it comes to your specifically

your low mood, another symptom might be loss of interest

or pleasure, fatigue or low energy,

changes like extreme changes in sleep and appetite,

difficulty concentrating on a specific task,

serious, serious, serious feelings of hopelessness,

serious feelings of being unworthy and being a burden

and not being enough.

Again, we all have those feelings from time to time.

These are persistent, aggressive feelings in your brain,

in your mind, telling you that you're worthless

and you're hopeless and everything sucks.

And then those feelings lead to you wanting to die

and make a plan and thoughts of death or suicide

or suicidal ideation.

Those are sort of the common symptoms

and you can sort of see the through line of those ideas

from some of what it might feel like.

We talked about what it feels like emotionally numb,

psychologically, painfully heavy.

It's called a psych ache is another word

that talks about suicidal ideation

and what it actually feels to have this sort of psych ache

in your brain and those feelings can lead to the common symptoms

and so you kind of have this list of things to look out for

if you're looking for a loved one

or looking out for yourself

or just generally wanting more information

to be more kind and empathetic to those living with bipolar disorder.

And so again, here's another important fact that we must note.

Most of the time spent in bipolar disorders

actually spent in depression, not mania.

This is where the highest risk lies, right?

Bipolar disorder carries a significantly increased risk

of suicide.

I mentioned that stat, 20 to 30% people with bipolar disorder

are 30% more likely to die by a suicide.

I don't know if that's an actual stat or factual.

I think I just read that or heard that somewhere

and it's stuck in my brain

because that's like a very, very large number for a statistic.

So please fact check me on that.

But based on that stat like this is true

is that people with bipolar disorder carry

a significant increased risk of suicide,

which is why early diagnosis and proper treatment support

is extremely, extremely critical.

So again, if you know someone,

if you or someone you know is struggling right now,

there is actually help available and potentially life-saving.

Patreon is the home of our exclusive community

where we do bonus episodes, live streams, Q&As,

and merch discounts, and so much more.

Patreon is the number one way to support this podcast

and to support my mental health nonprofit called You Are Loved.