TSJ Interlude: The Price of Stoic Tranquility

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Epictetus – Enchiridion 25

Has someone been honored above you at a banquet, or in a greeting, or in being called in to give advice? If these things are good, you should be pleased for the person who has received them. If, on the other hand, they are bad, do not be upset that you did not receive them yourself. Remember, with respect to acquiring things that are not in our power, you cannot expect an equal share if you do not behave in the same way as other people.

How is it possible, if you do not hang around someone's door, accompany them or praise them, to have an equal share with people who do these things? You will be unjust, therefore, and insatiable, if you refuse to pay the price for which these things are sold, but wish instead to obtain them for nothing.

For what price are lettuces sold? A dollar let's say. When someone else, then, pays a dollar and takes the lettuce, whilst you, not paying it, go without, do not imagine that this person has gained an advantage over you. Whereas they have the lettuce, you still have the dollar that you did not pay.

So, in the present case, if you have not been invited to someone's banquet that is because you have not paid them the price for which a banquet is sold. They sell it for praise; they sell it for flattery. Pay the price, then, for which it is sold, if you think this will be to your advantage. But if at the same time you do not want to pay the one, yet wish to receive the other, you are insatiable and foolish.

Do you have nothing, then, in place of the banquet? You have this - you have not had to praise the person you did not want to praise, and you have not had to bear the insolence of their doorkeepers.
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