The Tears of Princess Prunella

0:00This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culture East. It's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture East. It's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. You know when people try a new food and suddenly it's like, OK, hold on. I got a new favorite food. That's the reaction a lot of people are having when they first try Cupid Mayon. Yeah, it's the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. You've probably seen it at the grocery store. And this mayo is different. Mm-hmm. Most mayonnaise uses whole eggs. Cupid only uses egg yolks, which gives it this rich umami flavor. It's smoother, deeper, almost buttery. Once people try it, they start putting it on everything. Egg sandwiches, fries, burgers, chefs use it, restaurants use it, people who really care about flavor use it, put it on just about anything. Then you'll understand. Cupid, the original Japanese mayonnaise. This is Ashley Akinetti from the Almost Amos Podcast. You ever notice you and your spouse keep saying, we need to get away, but you never actually plan anything. That was us until we did something fun and spontaneous. We went to resortpass.com. There are hundreds of hotel resorts,

1:01pools and spots and private beaches that you can enjoy. You can spend the day at a luxury resort, pool, spa, massage, without booking an overnight stay. And listen, I may have only been like 15 minutes from home, but it felt like it was a whole different world. And I'm thinking, this is exactly what I needed. So just go to resortpass.com, choose your resort, choose your day, luxury, resort, day passes, start at just $25. Once you post your daycation, people are gonna ask where you are. Go to resortpass.com, slash Almost Famous and use the promo code Almost Famous to get $20 off when you spend $100. That's code Almost Famous at ResortPass.com, slash Almost Famous. There is no doubt that Princess Prinala would have been the most charming little girl on either side of the sun, if she had not been so exceedingly cross and discontented. She was as pretty as anyone could wish to see, and as accomplished as all the gifts of fairyland could make her, and she had every bit of happiness that the love of her parents

2:02and the wit of her fairy godmother could put in her way. And yet she grumbled and grumbled and grumbled. Can you not try to be happy just for five minutes? Ask the queen and despair. How can you expect me to be happy even for five minutes when every five minutes is exactly like the last five minutes side the little princess? It is tea time your highness said the head nurse coaxing me. And there are pink sugar cakes for tea. There were pink sugar cakes yesterday. How did the princess? There are always pink sugar cakes in this. There are white sugar cakes, and I am equally tired of them both. Can you not tell me something new? Let her go without her tea, said the king, who was rather tired of having such a cross-widdle daughter, but the queen only smiled. The child wants a change, she remarked, it must be very dull to play her alone all day. Doll, exclaiming the king, why should it be doll?

3:02Has not her godmother given her such wonderful toys that they can play with her as well as be played with? This was quite true, for the array ball that the princess threw to one end of the nursery could catch itself and throw itself back to her. And it is not every ball that can do that. What more kind of child want demanded the king, cross-le? The queen, however, thought there might be something more. We must find her a play fellow, she said wisely. Stuff and nonsense protested the king, and why should we bring more crying children into the palace? However, you must do as you like, I suppose. The king always told the queen to do as she liked when he was tired of the conversation. So the queen smiled again, and issued a proclamation at once to tell the whole world that the princess prenatal wanted someone to play with, and would be ready to choose a play fellow that day, week, at 12 o'clock in the morning. Now, it's not often that one gets a chance of playing with a king's daughter, so it is no wonder that when the princess followed her royal parents into the great hall on the appointed day, she found it filled from end to end

4:03with all little princesses and princesses, and all little cats and catesses, and all the little dukes and duchesses that the surrounding kingdom's good produce. I never had a more excellent idea, except the queen as she seated herself on the throne and looked down at the crowd of children. Prunella has talked to nothing else for a week, and she has not been heard to grumble once. That's all very well, observed the king a little unisly, but it is quite clear that she cannot play with them all, and who knows that so much disappointment will not lead to a war? The queen did not answer, but turned to her little daughter, who stood by her side. Do not be in a hurry, she said to her. So many faces are confusing at first, and you might forget it afterwards if you made a mistake. But Princess Prunella showed no signs of being in a hurry. She just clandered over the sea of faces that were turned towards her, and then looked speetiously at her mother. The smiles had all gone from her face, and the big blue eyes were filled with tears. Why, they are all exactly like! She said pitiously, I cannot tell one from another.

5:05And then to the astonishment of everyone in the room, she dropped down on the steps of the throne and began to cry. Dear, dear, what is to be done? It was claimed the queen in much harm. It would look so very bad if all the children had to be sent home again. It would certainly lead to a war, with all the kings said, and then they both looked helplessly at their sobbing little daughter. As for all the children, they were so surprised at hearing how much a light that they were, they said nothing at all. And it is difficult to tell what would have been the end of the matter, if the princess had not suddenly jumped her feet and pointed towards the door. There is the prince I should like to play with. She is claimed, he is not like the others, for he has a wonderful look on his face. Everybody looked around at the doorway, and sure enough, they are so the boy whom no one had noticed before. Come here, prince! Command at the princess, raising her voice hortily. You may kiss my hand if you like. But the boy drew back, with a bewildered air and shook his head. Princess Brinilla stamped her foot angrily.

6:06How dare you hesitate when I tell you to come here, she cried. This however, the strange boy turned and hastened out of the room altogether, and allowed a murmur of astonishment rose from the children. The king's daughter had never been disobeyed in her life before, and for a moment she was too astonished to speak. Who is he? What is his name? She demanded it last. Those of pause, broken presently by the shrill voice of one of the pages, please your highness, it is only deaf robot, the minstrel's son, he said. Is it deaf? Repeated the princess? What is that? It means that he cannot hear anything little daughter, explain the queen. So you see, he would not do for a playfellow at all. Besides, he's not even a prince. Can you not choose one of the others instead? The princess however, could do nothing of the kind. All these are alike, she said again. But the minstrel's son had a wonderful look on his face, and I would have no one else for a playfellow.

7:08So all the children went sadly back to their homes, and wondered why they were so much alike, and the whole court was made uncomfortable once more by the sulkingness of Princess Prinella. Your highness' best wax doll has not been out for two whole days, suggested the head nurse. The princess snatched the doll from her hands and threw it on the floor. If you will not let me play with the boy who is deaf, how can you expect me to play with the doll? She asked. And although no doubt, there was much in what she said, it was hardly the way in which she speak to the head nurse. Indeed, there would have been a serious disturbance in the royal nursery that very next minute, that the princess's cream-colored pony had not suddenly trotted around the table of its own accord and put it into her head to go for a ride. Now, the princess's pony was in fact a berry pony, so one year ran away with her in the forest that day. It was not to be supposed that he would run away with her for nothing. He took her in fact for a real fairy ride, all through a fairy forest, and that begun by being quite a baby forest, and then grew and grew the deeper she went into it,

8:08until it ended up being quite a grown-up forest. And the pony never stopped running away, until he reached a dear little grey house that was set in the brightest of flower gardens, right in the middle of the forest. The princess slipped off his back and pushed her open a little gate and walked into the flower garden. Anyone else might have been surprised to find deaf robots sitting there in the middle of the trim green lawn, but after a fairy ride, one is never surprised at anything. So the princess's heart just gave one big jump for joy, and she ran straight up to him and took his hand. Poor deaf boy, poor deaf boy, she said softly. Certainly she was not behaving like a king's daughter, for she ought to have been extremely angry with him for disobeying her in the morning, instead of which she spoke as gently to him as any ordinary little girl might have done, but then as he could not hear what she said to him, what was the use of speaking like a princess? Poor deaf boy, she repeated bending over him. No wonder you look so dull and unhappy. It was the first time in her life that she'd forgotten she was a princess,

9:08and she was quite surprised at the gentleness of her own voice. She was still more surprised when the deaf boy roached his feet and bowed very low and answered her. I was only unhappy princess because I could not hear what you said to me this morning. He explained, oh, quite the princess, you can hear me now. Ah yes, it's a deaf robot. I can hear you now, because you speak so kindly. It is only when people are angry and speak roughly that I cannot hear them. That is why they say I am deaf. Have you always been deaf? I'll say princess, wondering. Ever since the women's came to my christening, answered the menstrual sun, for when they asked my father what gift he would choose for me, he chose that I should be deaf to every sound that was not beautiful. So that is why you have such a wonderful look in your face to Princess Pinella. I wish the women's went to everyone's christening. Deaf robot shook his head. If they had not come to mine, he remarked, I should have been able to hear what you said this morning.

10:10Never mind, so the princess, come back to the palace with me now. I will never speak crossy to you again and then you will always be able to hear what I say. No, no, answered robot, shrinking away. I cannot come to the town. It is so silent there, it frightens me. Silent, echoed the princess. Surely it is a forest that is silent. Oh no, so the menstrual sun smiling. The forest is full of sound. Can you not hear them all talking? The bees and the flowers and the great pine trees? Princess Pinella listened. No, she said, shaking her head. I can hear nothing. Then she took the deaf boy's hands and pulled them towards the gate. Come back to the town with me, she said eagerly. It is true that you cannot hear the other people's voices, but you will always be able to hear me. And that is ever so much more important. So the menstrual sun went back to the palace with Princess Pinella and when the king and queen saw her happy

11:10that little daughter was at last, they said nothing more about deaf robber not being a prince but got over the difficulty by making him a marquee on the spot and giving him the appointment of place hello and chief to her royal highness. A magnificent banquet was given to celebrate this important event on which several speeches were made by the king and several tunes were played by the band. But as the speeches were exceedingly pompous and the tunes were exceedingly noisy, the new marquee for whom they were intended had neither one nor the other. However, he heard every word that the little princess whispered in his ear and perhaps that was all he wished to hear. Never had life passed so peacefully at the palace and the days that followed. The princess was never heard to utter an angry word and she worked about with a contented look on her face that cheered the hearts of all who knew her. It was indeed a happy day for the court when the minstrel son came to play with the king's daughter and everyone rejoiced that the king and queen had been wise enough to let their little daughter have her own way. But all this, one no one thought of the minstrel son.

12:10This is Matt Rogers from Los Coulteries that's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Los Coulteries that's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. You know when people try a new food and suddenly it's like, wait, that's the reaction. A lot of people are having when they first try cutie mayo. It's the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. You've probably seen it in the grocery store before. And if you've ever just walked past it, some people would say that's a huge mistake because this mayo is different. Most mayonnaise uses whole eggs. Cutie only uses egg yolks, which gives it this rich umami flavor. It's smoother, deeper, and almost buttery. Once people try it, they start putting it on everything. Egg sandwiches, fries, burgers, some fans even swear by dipping pizza crust in it. And once you notice it, you start seeing it everywhere. Chefs use it, restaurants use it. People who really care about flavor use it. Never try it, grab the bottle with the red cap next time you're at the store. Put it on just about anything, then you'll understand. Cute bee, the original Japanese mayonnaise. This is Ashley Akinetti from the Almost Amused Podcast.

13:11You ever notice you and your spouse keep saying, we need to get away, but you never actually plan anything. That was us until we did something fun and spontaneous. We went to resortpass.com. There are hundreds of hotel resorts, pools and spots and private beaches that you can enjoy. You can spend the day at a luxury resort, pool, spa, massage, without booking an overnight stay. And listen, I may have only been like 15 minutes from home, but it felt like it was a whole different world. And I'm thinking, this is exactly what I needed. So just go to resortpass.com, choose your resort, choose your day, luxury, resort, day passes, start at just $1,500. Once you post your daycation, people are gonna ask where you are. Go to resortpass.com, slash almost famous and use the promo code almost famous to get $20 off when you spend $100. That's code almost famous at resortpass.com slash almost famous. Now, anybody might suppose an menstrual son

14:12who suddenly found himself made in Tuan Ma a key and play fellow and cheat to a princess would be the happiest boy in the world. And yet, although he grew fond of every day of his little play fellow, dear Robert was the saddest person in the whole court. He grew more and more silent as the days went on, until at last even the princess noticed he was changed. The wonderful look has gone from your face, she said to him, can it be that you don't feel happy at court? Then the boy Markey told her the truth. I am unhappy because I cannot hear the sounds of the town. He said, well not your father go and live in the forest for a change so that we may play there instead of in this horrible silent place. But I don't want to go and play in the forest of Dr. the Princess. There are no people in the forest and I should forget that I was a person myself if I had nothing to talk to, but flowers and trees. For the first time since they played together, dear Robert remember, he was nearly two years older than the little princess

15:12and he smiled in a superior manner. That is only because you hear all the wrong things, he said, if you could once hear the sounds of the forest, you would never want to co-pack to the town. The princess turned red with anger and she opened her mouth to get the Mitchell son a thorough good scolding, which was suddenly of surprised him had he been able to hear it. But she remembered in time that he would not have been able to hear it. So she sighed impatiently and answered him with softly as she could. He was quite mistaken, she said, putting her chin in the air. If you were a real boy, you would understand. And with that she turned and let him. It was certainly annoying not to be able to lose her temper whenever she felt inclined, but there was nothing to prevent her from remembering that she was a princess. That afternoon the princess picked her finger and the Mitchell son found out what she had said was quite true and he was not a royal bird at all. For of course, the princess did what any other little girl of Prove is all would have done and burst into tears.

16:14While the Mitchell son, he was quite unable to hear her sobs, only stared at her solemnly and wonder why have pretty round faces suddenly twisted into such a strange expression. What are you doing, Punella? He asked her gravely. Doing what the princess? Why, I am crying, of course. That is what you would be doing if you would pitch your fingers badly as I have. She held out her small white finger, she spoke, but the Mitchell son and he stared at her solemnly before crying, what is that? He asked, and why should you do anything so useless? But surely it would be better to fetch a doctor or a piece of sticking plaster. Princess Punella came to the end of her patience. It had been bad enough to exist for six whole weeks without being allowed to lose her temper once, but now that she found she could not even cry with any pleasure, she felt it was more than any little girl of 12 years could be expected to bear. It isn't a sticking plaster that I want,

17:14she said miserably. When people cry, they want to be comforted, of course. Do they? Said their Robert, looking perplexed. But if I cannot hear you cry, how am I to comfort you? The princess was far too cross to be reasonable, although she managed to remember it was no use letting her crossnors appear in her voice. That's just it. She sobbed, you ought to be able to hear me cry and then you would be real boy. And the princess pityed herself so much for being forced to play with someone who was not real that she buried her face in her hands and wet more than ever. She half hoped even then that Deffra would come and kiss her and make friends again, as any nice boy would have done at once, but Deffra but did nothing at the kind. And when she at last took her hands from her eyes, her playfellow was gone. Truly, Deffra should never look so beautiful as on that day that the minstrel sun hastened through it on his way to his old home. The flowers looked their best, and the birds sang their merriest,

18:16and the trees bent their greenest bowels to give him welcome. But the boy with the wonderful look on his face, who lived among them for so long, never paused so much to glance at them, and they only had time to notice as he passed by, the wonderful look was no longer there. On he hurried until he came to the little grey house, setting the garden of bright coloured flowers, and he pushed up in the gate and walked in, just as his princess had done six weeks ago. The minstrel was at home this time, and he was sitting on the doorstep in the sunshine. He had just composed a new song, and that always made him extremely happy, but he sighed a little when he saw his son come into the gate, for he had no difficulty in seeing that the wonderful look had gone from the boy's face. What is that matter, my son? He said anxiously. Dear Robert was in no time in greeting him. Father, he cried, why did you ask the wits to be in my criss-crossing? That is easily answered, said the minstrel soothingly. It was because I wished you to hear nothing, but beautiful sounds, all your life.

19:18But what sounds do you call beautiful, the mother-to-son, the minstrel side? Can you not hear my music, he asked? Yes, yes, it's a deaf Robert, but what else? It had never struck the minstrel, but there need be anything else, and he hesitated little. Well, he said it last. Can you not hear the sounds of the forest? Deaf Robert looked up at the pine trees overhead, and down to the flowers at his feet. I used to be able to, he said sadly, but even the forest has grown silent now. Then he clenched his fists, and looked imploringly at his father. Must I lift at the end of my days, without hearing any of the things that other boys hear? He cried, "'You are a little unreasonable, my son,' said the minstrel, "'are not the beautiful sounds of life enough for you?' "'Enough,' said Deaf Robert, "'I want much, much more than that father, "'why I want to hear the princess cry.'

20:19That is nonsense, exclaiming the minstrel. Cheers make a most unpleasant noise, and you would be extremely disappointed if you were to hear the princess cry. The minstrel's son drew himself up proudly. "'You do not understand. "'You are not real either,' he said. "'It is, of my princess, "'make the sweetest sound in the world, "'and I am not going to rest until I learn to hear it.' Then he turned and walked through the gate, and out of the forest once more. The minstrel looked after him inside. It was the best gift I could think of, he murmured. It was the one I would have chosen for myself. It is true, he added thoughtfully, that I never wanted to play with the king's daughter. The minstrel's son wandered aimlessly through the forest. The forest that he'd once liked so well, because it was all his, and that he only liked now, because he had found his little princess in it, and there he might have been wandering still, if he had not met a wimp. This was not really surprising in that particular forest, for it was just the kind of forest

21:20in which any boy of 14 might have any wheat or wimp, but for all that, Deffraub was just a little bit startled when the wimp suddenly dropped into his path from a tree above and nodded at him. Hello, said the wimp. What is the matter with you? I am very unhappy, because I am not a real boy. It's claimed Deffraub, but, dear me, how is that? Asked the wimp pretending to be surprised. Well, you ought to know, answer Deffraub, but it is all because the wimp's came to my christening. Nothing got that thought. Cried the wimp indignantly. It is all because your father insisted on knowing better than we did, and we let him have his own way. If the wimp's had been at your christening, we would not even want to be a real boy. So you cannot hear the princess cry, eh? That's a good, wind-pitched joke that is. And the wimp stood on his head and choked with laughter. It is all very well for you to laugh, and play in the midst of sun. You don't know how unpleasant it is to be a boy without being a real boy.

22:22The wimp came down on his toes again and stopped laughing. Then why don't you go and learn to be a real boy again? He asked a surprise. How can I find out the way? Asked Deffraub, but, you were deculus boy. It's claimed the wimp. Why? Their first person you meet will be able to tell you that. Deffraub had no time to thank him for his information. For the wimp began turning some assaults the moment he finished speaking, and he went on turning them until he had tended nothing at all, and there was no more wimp to be seen. Then the wimp stood sun walked on through the forest. After three days and three nights, he met no one at all. But on the morning of the fourth day, he came to the very edge of the forest, and there he saw an old woman sitting by the side of a black brute bush. Hurrah! Pride Deffraub, but waving his cap. Do you know that you are the first person I've met, and that you are going to tell me how to become a real boy? I will tell you at once, the old woman smiling. For you come straight to the point, and do not beat about the bush.

23:22This is what you must do then. Something brave, and something kind, and something foolish, and something wise. If you are not a real boy after that, it will be your own fault. Then she walked around the black brute bush and disappeared. And although Deffraub had forgot which he had just said about him, and beat about the bush and good earnest, he never saw any more of her. Then the midst of sun walked straight on in search of the brave deed to do, and this did not take him long, but there were always plenty of brave deeds waiting to be done by someone. So, long before the sun was above his head that day, he came to a castle where a beautiful princess was being kept captive by a cruel old giant, all because he was cruel, and for no other reason at all. And when Deffraub saw the princess weeping behind the bars of her prison window, he was reminded of his own little princess, whom he had left weeping on the nursery floor, and that made him cool on the giant instantly to come out and be killed. The giant laughed a great laugh and came into the courtyard, not to be killed, but to kill the minstrel sun instead.

24:25But before he had time to do that, the minstrel sun had managed to kill him, and that was the end of the cruel old giant. That is the bravest deed I have ever seen done, cried the princess when he fetched her out the dungeon. Bravedeed to easily done then to Deffraub, but he was glad indeed were the same to hear that he had done the first part of his task. And the next thing he did was take the beautiful princess back to her own country, and that seemed to him a great waste of time, but he could not certainly do his own kind deed as long as he had the princess on his hands. But when they reached her country, and the princess told her father how Deffraub had come out of his way to bring her home, the old king was pleased and asked him what reward he would like for his trouble. For, he said, you have done the kindness deed, anyone could possibly think of. Never a reward for me, laugh Deffraub, but for there is my kind deed done without my knowing it, an offy set once more in his travels. After that, the mistress some wondered about for a great many days, for neither a wise nor a foolish G could he find to do.

25:26Sometimes when he thought he had been wise, the people told him he was cruel and drove him out of the country, and sometimes when he was sure he had been foolish, they only praised him for his kindness. He would tire and foot sore, and his clothes became old and ragged, and he almost forgot that he had what's been a marquee and playfellow in chief to a princess. But he never forgot how the little prince pretty now that had looked as she sat on the nursery floor and wet with sobs that he might not, that he was not able to hear. So two years passed away, and still he had not learned how to be a real boy. One day as he walked along the country road, he came up on a girl driving cows. Why are you looking so sad? She asked him, because I left my princess crying in her nursery two years ago, and I have been away for her ever since. Answered the boy simply, the girl burst out laughing. Well, she exclaimed, that was a foolish thing to do. Foolish shouted death-robot. Did you say foolish?

26:27To be sure I did, I asked the girl, could anything be more foolish than to keep away from someone whom you want to be with? Then I will go back to her this instant, declared the menstrual sun, and that would be the wisest thing you could do. Answered the girl, and she immediately disappeared, cows and all, which just shows that she must have been a wimp all the while. Well, it's a death-robot. There are my wise and my foolish deeds done together, and now I am a real boy. Then he set off home with as fast as he could go, and although it had taken him two years to come away from home, it took him only two hours to get back again, so we just clear that the wimp said had a hand in that too. And just about two times, he stood outside the nursery during the palace of his own little princess. It is well to remember that the wimp said come to the christening of the menstrual sun, otherwise it might seem a little wonderful that the princess who never should have pricked her finger again on the very day that her play fellow when she came back to her anyhow. That is what happened, and as the menstrual sun stood outside the door,

27:27and listened, he heard the softest and sweetest, and the prettiest sound he had ever heard in his life. Hurrah, he cried. At last I can hear the princess cry, and he burst open the door and ran into the room, all in his rags and his tatters, and knelt down to comfort the king's daughter. Oh, look at my finger! Wet princess принeta, as she showed him her little hand. Truly it was impossible to tell, which of her small white fingers the princess had pricked, but as the menstrual sun kissed every one of them in turn, it disclaimed that he must have healed the right one. And that of course was why the princess stopped crying at once. Then she looked at her whole play fellow, and laughed the joy to see him there again. The wonderful look has come back into your face, she said, but it is ever so much more wonderful than before. Dear little play fellow, whispered the prince to her son. I can hear the forest sounds again too, but you were right all the time, and the sounds of the town are much more charming than the sounds of the forest.

28:28Oh no, the bed, the princess, there you are quite mistaken, for the sounds of the forest are more beautiful by far. And it is a fact that they have been disputing the point ever since. And of the tears of Princess Prina from the other side of the sun's storybook by Evelyn Sharp. This is Ashley Akinati from the almost famous podcast. You ever notice you and your spouse keep saying, we need to get away, but you never actually plan anything. That was us until we did something fun and spontaneous. We went to resortpass.com. There are hundreds of hotel resorts. Pools and spas and private beaches that you can enjoy. You can spend the day at a luxury resort, pool, spa, massage, without booking an overnight stay. And listen, I may have only been like 15 minutes from home, but it felt like it was a whole different world. And I'm thinking this is exactly what I needed. So just go to resortpass.com, choose your resort, choose your day,

29:28luxury resort day passes start at just $1,5. Once you post your daycation, people are gonna ask where you are. Go to resortpass.com slash almost famous and use the promo code almost famous to get $20 off when you spend $100. That's code almost famous at resortpass.com slash almost famous.