The Power of Your Subconscious

0:00At QVC, fall shopping is more than just checking out. It's discovering the brands you love across beauty, fashion, home and culinary, all in one place. Whether you're getting ready for crisp mornings, cozy nights, or everyday moments, QVC has what you need for the season ahead, with brands like Lori Geller, Philosophy, Ninja, and so many more. Shop now at QVC.com. Hello and welcome to Enlightened Empaths, your community for the spiritually awakened, where we discuss, explore, and connect with fellow empaths, healers, intuitives and seekers. Hello, empaths, we hope you're having a great start to your week. How have you been doing, Mr. Nies? I'm good. I think this shift into early fall is, it's an interesting time, but hopefully it's smooth for everyone that's listening as well.

1:06Yes, let's hope so for sure. What we wanted to talk about this week is something that I don't know, I've just been really fascinated with most of my adult life, and I know you have to, and it's the power of our subconscious mind, and how we really and truly need to learn how to work with it, to fully talk to all aspects of ourselves. Working with the subconscious mind can help you heal your inner child, it can help you release painful memories, it can help you reshape and reframe your beliefs, it can help you manifest a more positive present and future. All the power based on the research seems to lie in the subconscious mind, it really and truly is the silent architect of the reality we're experiencing. So we thought it would be fun to just share with you all some facts about the subconscious mind and how we can learn to work with this part of ourselves that I don't think most of us think about on a daily basis.

2:13I've thought about it more since I started the meditation practice a couple years ago, because it is exactly this, it's about accessing those archives, and that's that's an excellent word to use is amazing, amazing, what is held in our subconscious as far as memories we may have forgotten situations, and the purpose of knowledge that we don't understand why do I know this, but I know this, this is truly a deep dive, interesting conversation, love it. Well, you probably know this with your work in hypnosis, everything, every memory is still alive and well in our subconscious. Right. That's wild to think about, and maybe that's why they've been able to prove that the subconscious controls 95% of our life. Wow. So if we're not aware of what's going on in the murky undercurrents of our mind, well, then that's on us, like we have to get in touch with our subconscious to understand those knee jerk responses, those triggers we might have those decisions we make without even thinking.

3:27It's important, I think, to understand that most of that is coming from the subconscious. And as intuitives as mediums, as readers, as just empathic people, and both you and I have said this for many years, spirit will use whatever your memories experiences expertise are to bring through those messages. And if we're holding those in our subconscious and we're able to access them, I think it's a collaborative effort between what we're holding in our own memory banks and what spirit is bringing to us. How is spirit triggering those thoughts in our subconscious to bring through messages for folks? I think it's really, it's a deep dive, isn't it? It really is. So I think most of us know that the subconscious responds more strongly to pictures than to words. And that's why using vision boards and goal books is so, so important if you're trying to manifest something. But the subconscious also speaks in symbols. It does not communicate to us in words. In fact, the subconscious processes images 60,000 times faster than words.

4:37So if you start to use symbols or pictures, you can bypass any resistance that your subconscious is putting up and use those symbols to speak directly to your inner operating system. So think about that. Your subconscious mind, I feel, works very closely with your ego. And so the two together are using your past memories and experiences to always, always, always try to protect you. So if they think keeping you small is protecting you and then suddenly you're like, no, no, I want to go bigger. I want to shine my light brighter. And you just start telling yourself that it's my time and my turn or I'm ready to shine. Not a whole lot's happening because your subconscious is like, wait, what, what does shine mean? Do we need new batteries for the flashlight? Like they're not figuring it out. But if you just send it pictures and images of exactly what it is you mean by you want to shine your light bigger, then it's going to start to resonate and work with that and start to put down any differences it has put up.

5:43Wow. That's a lot. And I mean, just on a very, very, very simplistic level, it brings constantly processing the information that's coming into us. And that is second ago. And it seems we might never be aware of. So if you recognize a face, your visual cortex starts with a vague blurry representation and your brain's object recognition and semantic processing areas fill in the details. So you're matching what you see against what you already know. And this whole process gets you to, oh, that's my friend Mary. But it's so quick. The synapses are firing so, so fast. It's instantaneous. Yeah, we're not even aware of it. Right. But that same principle can apply to emotions and habits preferences. And as you said, snap judgments, because your brain is forming those conclusions and then sending them to your consciousness already pre-packaged. So tapping into the subconscious isn't about flipping a switch that reveals everything underneath. It's about more so creating these conditions where some of that hidden processing.

6:51Surface is in a form that you can observe and understand whether it's through relaxation or focused attention or creative expression or guided therapeutic work, but it's a bridge between the two. I love that there's a reason it happens. Yeah, I do too. Now this next fact about the subconscious mind, I think I only learned in like the last decade of my life. And it's mind blowing to me. Your subconscious mind doesn't know time. So everything is now for your subconscious. Right. So check out this study that neuroscientist Joseph Lado did. He demonstrated that emotional memories activate the amygdala identically, whether the threat is real or remembered. So what does that mean? If you think about a sad memory, your subconscious reacts as though it's happening right now. And it will flood your body with cortisol, reducing your energetic vibration, of course, and filling you with a lot of stress.

7:54Your subconscious is constantly rewriting your current vibration to match your thoughts. But if you think about a happy memory, well, then your energy is flooded with serotonin. But I just think it's really important to remember that I remember learning years ago. If you can retell a traumatic event that happened to you without crying or getting emotional or shaky or sad, it means you've healed from it. And I never really understood that that's also meaning your subconscious has healed from it. I didn't really connect that. And the reason why some people get shaky or sad or, you know, just for clumped when they're recalling a sad event is because your subconscious starts freaking out. Like, oh, no, this is happening right now. But it's kind of cool because you can also apply that to things you're trying to manifest in the future. So if you're trying to manifest something coming up and you start visualizing that event, that situation going really, really well, not with words, but with pictures.

9:00Your subconscious is like, oh, okay, this is what's happening. So when you get to that event, the subconscious isn't going to put up any resistance is just going to go, oh, yeah, we know this. We've already seen this in the pictures. You've been imagining and visualizing. And this aligns beautifully with that time is an illusion. A man made constraint. A lot of teachers, leaders, seers, whoever, people that we followed for years, you can go way, way back with this. Have always said time is an illusion. And this is you're saying the same exact thing. If the subconscious doesn't know time, but it holds our entire memory bank and processing and how we focus and how we then that makes perfect sense to me. Yeah, me too. But it also validates that it is a man made constraint and to keep us on this linear path with the way that we're functioning in everyday life doesn't really align with what we came here spiritually to do.

10:03That's deep. All right, I'm going to say something that's not deep, but I want to say this and then I'll come back to it. Okay, after doing all this research on the subconscious mind, I feel as though the subconscious is like a toddler. And I'm going to try to prove that in a little bit. So just hold that thought. Okay. So your subconscious mind doesn't understand the word no or not. It cannot comprehend negativity that way. So you always have to write any affirmations or goals or anything that you're trying to retrain your brain with in the present tense using positive words. So you can't say like I'm not in debt. You have to use a phrase like I have plenty of money to pay my bills with ease. The example everyone uses, including me is if you tell your brain like don't think about pink elephants. Well, we're all imagining pink elephants.

11:05And that's just to prove that your subconscious doesn't it doesn't take in the word no. And the subconscious also can't differentiate between imagined and real experiences. They can't automate they can't different the subconscious can't make up that difference. So the more you visualize your goals happening in the now, the more easily you're going to program your mind brain scans have even shown that they've shown that imagined experiences activate the same neural pathways as real ones. In one Harvard study, for example, people who imagined practicing the piano and proved nearly as much as those who physically practiced. And I'm sure Denise you've probably read all those studies. The athletes, you know, they'd have the Olympic athletes run through their routine while their brains were hooked up to all that stuff. And their muscles fired in the same exact way when they were imagining going through their routine as when they actually went through the routine.

12:09Right. The subconscious was helping them build the muscle memory that they weren't physically using. Yeah. I read another study where they had two groups and one group. They would hook their brain up and they would just say like imagine you're exercising and they'd have this specific routine like four reps of this and 12 reps of that and hold your plank for this many seconds. And the other group they had go to the gym and actually do that routine. Well, the group that went to the gym and did the routine gained like 30% muscle, which is great. But the group that just sat and imagined it, they gained 15% muscle. Oh, my. Yeah. I mean, that's just that's just crazy to me. You know, so all right. So let's just take these facts. Everything is now. It doesn't understand the word no. And it can't differentiate between imagination and real experiences. Doesn't that sound like a toddler?

13:11It really does when you put it in that perspective. And it controls everything. Anyone ever had a toddler in the home? I mean, they tend to control everything, right? Yeah. So I just think it's interesting to think about your subconscious as a toddler. It's it's operating in the background. It wants everything now, now, now. It doesn't like the word no. It can't tell the difference between imagination or reality. And you've got to learn a new way of talking to your subconscious the same way you can't talk to a toddler. The same way you talk to your friend, your colleague, your neighbor, you have to use a different language. And I think that's the main point we're trying to get across is learning the language of your subconscious. That's a really good way to describe it. It truly is because if we throw in lack of impulse control, we've got it covered. Well, hold on. I do have a fact about that. Your subconscious mind decides well before you do.

14:18Scientists have been able to prove this through brain scans. Your subconscious decides before you're consciously aware of the decision. That's why sometimes you'll make a decision and you're like, well, I know that's not really logical, but it just feels right. Does it feel right because it's intuition or does it feel right because your subconscious has filtered through all your memories connected to that decision. And the subconscious is always going to choose the safe one for you, which might not be the safe one for you. But based on past experience, you might perceive it to be the best choice. Right. Right. Like if if you've had like negative experiences with love, right. And then you're telling yourself, no, no, I'm ready for love. No, I'm ready to date again. I'm ready to do this. But you're subconscious is filtering through all those memories of Lingling. Are we really it's going to consciously, subconsciously decide before you're consciously aware of it. Now we're going to sabotage this to keep you safe.

15:19Right. And that's where all of this neural reprogramming and come in whether through hypnosis, whether it's through meditation, whether it's through there are ways to to to make better friends with the toddler. Yes, exactly. Something else I've fascinated about I did a whole episode on this on my other podcast is the particular activating system. It's the part of your brain that filters out, you know, people experiences and opportunities that don't match your internal beliefs. Well, this particular activating system works directly with the subconscious. So together, they're always looking for ways to prove that your thoughts are right. So it never is questioning you. It's never like, is that really a good belief for us? Like is this going to actually help us in the long run? It's just whatever you say, it's like, okay. Again, think about a toddler. They never question anything that their parents are doing or they never question the idea of a bunny hopping through their house to deliver eggs. They're just like, okay, they don't question a man coming down their chimney who randomly for whatever reason wants to give them gifts.

16:30They accept everything you tell them the subconscious is the same way. So if you say, I'm so unlucky. Your reticular activating system works with your subconscious to highlight every setback you've ever had. But if you believe opportunities always find me, well, then you're reticulating activating system, Andrew subconscious worked in tandem to constantly find opportunities for you. So you can start gently by saying something like, today, I am noting evidence that I am becoming more happy, more healed, more whole and watch how your subconscious and your reticular activating system will begin filtering out your events and experiences for proof of that. Pretty wild. Yeah, and you say I'm deep. But it's just amazing to me all the stuff that's going on beneath the surface of our conscious. It's just, I don't know, I find it absolutely fascinating how much is going on without us being aware of it.

17:39You know, like, I'm still fascinated by the fact that we only have this limited view of vision, right? There's just a certain amount of frequency was through which we can see and hear. And do you ever think about what's going on beyond that frequency? So much more. So much more. I feel it's the same inside of our bodies, inside of our souls. There's so much more going on that our conscious frequency isn't allowing us to see your hear. So you know what what's flashing in my mind is the thought of when so many people will shot off their natural intuition, their connection with spirit, whatever around six, seven, eight years old. And abstract thoughts starts to come in my point being we still have access to that subconscious, no matter how much we've shot it off or how much we've convinced ourselves life experiences are going to add to all of the things, all of the file cabinets that are in our subconscious.

18:40But I really feel like there's it's this what I absolutely love about everything we're talking about is no one is excluded from this. No one is like, oh, I can't access my subconscious. You can everybody has that right. And it's something that is so personal and unique to you. It's based on your experiences, your background and nobody else gets to to tap into your files. I love that. It's like the rose that is stone. You just need the key to unlock the language. Right. But it's it's a very empowering thought that we have access to and I've been open about sharing that I have a lot of trauma much. Yeah, we laugh about it. But when you block things out to protect yourself and then to be able to access that years or decades later with clarity, it's a perfect example that we still have access to the reasons we may react or the reasons that we may choose certain things in our life.

19:46But when you can open that door to an old memory bank or an old feeling, it can really, really make so much more available in your present day life. Yeah, it's so true. Now, here's another fact that I love to work with. And I think everyone should as well. Your subconscious mind can't handle an unanswerable question. So when you ask your subconscious mind or you ruminate on a question that you don't know the answer to, your subconscious mind kind of freaks out because it hates an unfinished task that its job is to close situations and move on. Right. So if you were really stuck on something rather than worrying about it or complaining about it, frame it in a question. How can I improve my career options or what can I do to embrace more love in my life or what are some things I can do to improve my health. You can write it down and put it under your pillow and ask your subconscious to give you the answer in a dream, but just know that if you start to meditate on an open question like that that you truly don't know the answer to your subconscious is going to go into overdrive.

21:01And the example I always used to prove that, don't you remember like before we had Google when you could ask a friend like gosh, you know, who started in that movie. You know that movie about the guy and he wakes up and he loses his memory and your friends like you mean the born identity. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. Who started that movie and your friends like, oh, I can see his face, but I can't remember his name and you're like, yeah, me neither. The two of you're going crazy because remember this is in the olden days before we had Google and then like two or three days later, you're driving to work and you're thinking about like, oh, I've got that meeting on 11. What time do I have for lunch? Oh, I have a like, no, I'm going to have to eat lunch at my desk and then you're like, oh my god, does this person know the light turn green? What the hell? Why is this taking my Damon and it just pops into your head? Hasn't that happened to you all the time? Yes. That's how your subconscious mind works because that entire time it's been working behind the scenes going through all your memories of goodwill hunting and you know him and Ben Affleck to pull out that name for you.

22:08And I think that's pretty cool and I think it's a great trick or tool we can use to really get some insight into ourselves and what it is because all the answers are within us every philosopher has told us that since BC times everything is within us all the answers are within us. Okay, agree with that. Now, here's something that's a little bit different. Your subconscious is unaware of anyone but you. So two years subconscious mind, you are a universe of one. It's just you. So when you criticize others, your internal mind takes this as a personal judgment. Your subconscious is accepting these judgments as personal criticism. So if you think, oh, she's so irresponsible, your subconscious here's I'm irresponsible. Remember that old thing like when you point a finger at me, there's three fingers pointing back at you. Remember that? Yes.

23:12It's kind of true if you look at it from that point of view. So all the judgments and criticisms and offhanded things you think to yourself. And it's usually the things you think to yourself. They tend to be more powerful than the ones you say out loud that your subconscious holds on to. So you really do want to be cognizant of your internal dialogue. Although I don't know because here's here's my biggest well, I have a lot of pet peeves Denise. But what I'm fine is people who wear pajamas out and about. Okay. I don't know why it you know, it just bothers me. It's like really can you not put on pants? Does my subconscious take that as a judgment of me? Because I have never left my home in pajamas. No, that's not going to happen. That's not going to happen. But okay. So my example would be people who walk out in front of cars in traffic without looking left or right.

24:19And not plain shade, but there were a lot of younger people that just march right into the road. And I will start swearing in my car all by myself. That's nice. Okay. What about people who do that and walk slow as molasses on their phone? On their phone. Big pet peeve. Yes. So our subconscious is taking this all down and is it saying like, oh, Samantha sloppy and always walks around in her PJs? Because that's not true. But I guess it's just the energy behind the judgment. Okay. Make that makes sense. Yeah. That does make sense. Or maybe it's because it doesn't align with our subconscious view of who we are. So if you know in your heart, you're never going to go out in public in pajamas. It's not going to happen. I am not going to step out in front of a moving vehicle unless I'm choosing to make a really poor choice.

25:21I'm going to look both ways because I was trained to do that when I was a little tiny person. You stop. You look both ways. You wait for the cross light that the whole thing. So I don't have the same connection in my subconscious as they do. They've had different experiences. This is for sure. Yeah. So I don't know about that. Maybe it's an overall judgment. Like maybe your subconscious takes that as, ooh, sometimes we make bad decisions. True. And maybe my subconscious takes that as you always got to look your best. Or is it possibly triggering? And this is Georgie pie. When people just throw themselves into traffic. And this is a common encourage. I'm not just holding it to my little podunk town. Are is it because to me it seems irresponsible or selfish or they're not. It's selfish. Okay. I think that's a that's a puppy of yours because you can't comprehend a world where you are selfish.

26:23I can't comprehend a world where Denise is selfish. That's like you're the most self-reliable. But there's a lot of programming with that. There's a lot. And I think that is it. Is it the act or is it the emotion behind the act that is reflecting on us? Because I think that there's the emotion. I do too. I really do. I think it's hitting something that we struggle with. Of why do you think you're so much more important that you can put people at risk? I feel the same way about people who drive severely under the influence. But I think sometimes people make choices based on what they feel is right for them without thinking about the impact it's going to have. And talk about judge match. Denise, do you see the similarities between those two though? Yeah. It's all about decisions. Right. An accountability. Self accountability. Yeah. And selfishness. Right.

27:23So I guess we just tapped into Denise's cocoa. But I think it's a good. Instructive example that hopefully listeners will go well, let me examine what pisses me off. Right. Because if your subconscious is always looking for ways to prove your beliefs. Then that would make sense. Right. Those circumstances coming into my life to prove what I believe in my heart to be true. Or. And you have to admit a lot of the things that really annoy us or the things that we need to look at. Yeah. Like, OK, here one of my biggest pet peeves are those parents who just sit back and let their kids do whatever they want. Like you're in a restaurant and their kids running around. And they're like, oh, Jimmy, so he's such a free spirit. Or if I'm sitting at the pool, there's this one kid in my neighborhood. I have renamed him. Look at me.

28:23Oh, because he just sits in the pool. Mom, mom, mom, mom, look at me, look at me, look at me. And that mother, love and mother is always there with at least four friends. Cheety chatting away, not looking at her son. Oh, yeah, that poor kid. I know he is really cute. And my friend and I were sitting in the pool a couple of weekends ago and he's, mom, mom, mom, and my friend goes, we're looking at you and we're both moms. And he was having that. Yeah, that was sweet. That was a jump. Yeah. Well, then he came up and he sneezed literally on my face, but whatever. I have a lot of faith in flirting. But that goes, that I think those are triggers from my belief about what a good mother should be. And that's judgy beyond judgy. Because for all I know, that's the only hour she gets, you know, to be with her friends and socialize and who the hell am I to say anything. But that goes back to my mother issues, right?

29:24See, this makes sense. Yeah. So is it that we're judging that person or that it's bringing something up in ourselves that we're not comfortable with or that we need to do more work on? Like were you ever allowed to be selfish growing up? Hmm. I would say no. It wasn't encouraged. Right. I was never allowed to leave the house without looking my best. Wow. I mean, never. Yeah, ever. Like even if we had like Sunday dinner and it was just the five of us, we had to get dressed up like we were flipping down to Navi. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm sure that I used to work on the boat with my father. And I remember being young as a teenage kid and he wanted me to go in the store and we've been working on the boat. And I was horrified. I can't go in the store looking like this. And he said, you need to get more comfortable with things like this and not be so concerned about how you look.

30:27And I was horrified because I don't know if anyone's ever worked on the working fishing boat. You don't smell so great and you're not the cleanest when you come off of there. And I was never like read into it. Ex-boyfriend walking off the boat. No, no, no, no. But it just it was, it's interesting. So that would again be good examples of what's in our subconscious that would be so unique to us that it gave me an empathy. I'm very, very aware of when people are uncomfortable in a situation because I've had a lot of uncomfortable situations. So when I was too aware and I know you were well, it's almost not a good thing. Right. It impacts the ability to be in a social situation because you're always aware of that person doesn't look comfortable. It's that hyper-awareness of what's going on around us. Exactly. You know what I'm just thinking too though? This subconscious really is like a toddler.

31:29Because of what you and I are saying is true and you weren't allowed to be selfish growing up. Then the toddler in your subconscious is looking at the person life-ly walking into traffic going well that's not fair. I never got to do that. And maybe I'm looking at the person, you know, strolling through the airport and flannel PJs and slippers and I'm going well that's not fair. I never got to do that. I wonder if that's it. But would you want to? Well, no, but now I don't even know what I, if I hadn't been free programmed. It's a good point. It's a very good point. What's there's a famous Jesuit saying give me a boy until he's nine and I'll have him for life, meaning like we are so programmable. Those first seven to nine years of life. Yeah. And if you really want to do a deeper dive, those first three years of life. Yeah, yeah, that's so true. But it's important to know that we can reprogram our subconscious and we can do this through repetition.

32:34So repeating new thoughts, new affirmations in the present tense. We can do this through daydreaming. We can do it through meditating. And of course, adding strong emotions. The subconscious mind is most receptive in the phoeta brain wave state, which typically occurs when you're falling asleep, when you're waking up, when you're meditating or you're zoning out in that day dreaming state of mind. So it is programmable, we programmable. And I think that's really, really important. And it also ties in with the dream work and the lucid dreaming. You've taught this, you've, you've experienced it. You've written books about it of the importance of being able to tap into your subconscious through your dream work. And it's the same thing because we've, we've lowered the barrier. We've lowered that, that cognitive filter. Yeah, one of the only times our subconscious is free to talk to us.

33:38Right. And I think that's important. I was reading a lot of Edgar Casey material to get ready for this presentation. I had to do it the ARE and over and over and over. Casey would say, always you have to meditate every day. But he would always add to it. Don't expect anything amazing to happen in the meditation. The benefits, the gifts, the messages tend to come after you meditate. And I thought that was interesting. And it does work. It does align with how the subconscious works. Right. But also to be open to what comes through without it having to take a specific path. So you might set an intention or you might go into a meditation with I'd love more clarity and understanding around the energy of fill in the blank. What is some things that I need to be more aware of in this situation, whatever your your thing that you're going in for. And it might take you into a thought pattern or a visualization or an experience that is so much more insightful than if it had gone in the direction you thought it was supposed to.

34:50And I think that's when you know you're really tapping into something more is when it surprises you a little bit. Oh, that's the best, isn't it? I love it. But one of the things that and this aligns with intuition and aligns with mediumship of aligns with all of that development that we've lived our lives doing is that our subconscious doesn't really distinguish between a vividly imagined experience and a real one. And I talked about that. But when you start adding that sensory detail. So a more of a multi sensory approach triggers more neural pathways than just visual imagery alone. So we've done this with guided meditations and some people say, well, I don't see things. Is that okay, but what are you feeling? What are you hearing? What's your body doing? How are you reacting? When you make it more multi sensory, it allows it produces a stronger subconscious engagement.

35:50And I think that's what we're trying to do. Oh, I do too. And that's why you'll see in a lot of guided meditations. They will lead you to focus on what are you smelling? What are you hearing? What are you feeling? Or they'll say feel the sun on your face or feel the leaves of the grass brush against your fingertips as you walk through the meadow. Because in order to fully engage your subconscious, you have to activate all the senses. Right. And I think it can also go out another step and become body focused awareness. So your subconscious doesn't only store this information as thoughts. It can store them as physical sensations, muscle tension, automatic responses. If you see an old friend and you suddenly get a twinge in your neck at the same time, pay attention to that. Or if every time a certain person calls you on the phone, you feel a density in a certain part of your body. Pay attention to that because it's another way that your subconscious is using your body as a barometer to give you those messages.

36:54And that heads up of it. It's the somatic experiencing, right? That therapeutic approach that was developed for trauma processing. And it's based on the principle that unresolved experiences are stored in the nervous system, which you alluded to earlier, but can also be accessed through that internal body awareness. The body is always talking to us. What does Carolyn may say we carry our biology? No, we carry our biography in our biology. Yes. Great. I love that line. Yeah. But the subconscious is also connected to the collective unconscious, which I think is really cool to think about. And I believe it could explain things like telepathy, intuition, pre-cognitive dreams, and aha moments. You know how I was saying the subconscious mind can't handle an unanswerable thought? Mm-hmm. Or a question. I wonder if, like, when we're sleeping or meditating or daydreaming, if the subconscious is able to then have time and energy and focus,

37:58to put their little feelers out into the collective unconscious, which also does not know time. Everything's happening now. And that's how it's able to retrieve answers or people that could help us along our path is by doing that. I really love this because I'm convinced that we all have our little light bright peg. And we plug it into the collective consciousness. But everything that I'm experiencing that's different or unique to me goes into that collective and gives access to other people. So that's where that web comes in is that we're all uploading constantly to the collective. And then I don't know if there's any validity to that, but it's a nice thought, isn't it? It is a nice thought. What if you put your little light bright peg in and it doesn't light up though? Maybe that means that you're not being true to yourself. Exactly. And then this is why I think a lot of us can benefit from working with the subconscious because I think some people are walking around or looking at the subconscious.

39:02And people are walking around and they're not even aware that their little light bright peg isn't lighting up anymore. They're just going through the motions, the hamster wheel stage of life, you know. It's just very simplistically, it would be, are you wasting your turn? Are you dimming your light for someone else or someone else's expectations of who you came here to be? Remember Stuart Smalley on SNL? Mm-hmm. I'm good enough. I'm smart enough and dog-gun it, people like me. Well, all of that actually does work. You can reprogram your subconscious, but it's not just saying it. There's two things that really help. You have to write down your affirmations and your beliefs because as you were saying, it activates your motor and visual cortex, which helps the subconscious retain it. But it only works with handwriting, not typing. So some studies suggest that you have to write down a new belief, a goal or an affirmation at least five times a day for 21 days.

40:06And it's handwriting. And I find that interesting. Remember a couple of months ago we talked about that study they did of people who were cognitive, like highly cognitively functioning well into their 90s. And the only thing they had in common was they all journaled by hand every day. Right. And they put the sensors on the brains to see what lit up. And then they switched it to when it was typing on a computer and everything, like, went down to one quadrant of the brain. Which makes me worry about my Kindle. I wonder if it's the same reading books. I wonder if we need the tactile page. Oh. Because in the summertime, like when I'm outside reading a lot, I always use my Kindle or when I'm traveling. I prefer a book, but sometimes the Kindle is easier. I wonder if it's the same thing. I don't know. Because I don't feel that I retain books as well that I've read on a Kindle. But that could just be me. Now, there's another way you can work with affirmations that does remind me of Stuart Smalley.

41:08And it's kind of cringey to me. It's the mirror exercise, which I think we've all heard of. But when you are speaking to yourself in the mirror, what new research is showing is you have to do it in the second person. Your subconscious rule then receive this as an instruction, a task to complete rather than a wish. So rather than staring at yourself and saying, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and dog on it, people like me. You have to say you are successful or you are healthy, wealthy and happy while making eye contact with yourself in the mirror. Isn't that a little cringey? It's kind of cringey, but it also makes perfect sense. Yeah. Because we're reprogramming that part. I remember going through a really, really, really dark spell at one point and looking in the mirror and just like shaking it off and saying, you've got this, you can do this. And it was enough to jumpstart that sense of self that was a little bit fragile at the time.

42:14So I think that there's a lot of validity to that statement. Yeah. Of using second second person. Now our last example is something my sister's been doing for several years now and it has worked miracles in her life. And a lot of research is backing her up. It's called the gratitude letter. And this is where you write a letter to yourself as though your goal has already happened. And you've always want to use the present tense because remember everything is now. So for example, dear Samantha, I am so happy and grateful you are able to easily travel to England for the whole summer. I'm going to write that one down five times a day Denise. But that one is a great one because your subconscious will slowly acclimate to this as the norm. And it won't put up resistance to that goal. Now my sister does her gratitude letters a little bit different from this. If she's having an issue with someone, if she's like budding heads with someone at work or if there's just a personal issue going on in her life, she will write a letter to it or that person.

43:19Expressing all the gratitude she has for that person or that situation. Oh, that's nice. It's really cool. And it has reshaped the way she handles conflict. And it's just it's been like I said, miraculous. She wrote a gratitude letter to money. Mm-hmm. Years ago and it reshaped the way she deals with money and all of that's good stuff. I mean, she's done it for a lot of things in her life and I've started doing it too. It's a really fun and interesting introspective exercise. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah. So after all of that, do you agree with me that the subconscious sounds a little bit like a toddler? It really does. I didn't get it at the beginning, but after like talking through all this stuff, it's a great way to look at it. And a good way to remember it. Yeah. Where are you talking to your subconscious right now? Because we wouldn't say certain things to a toddler. We would say it was more kindness.

44:20We would say it was more direction. Did you just cue that? No. What the hell was that? That's the timer. Because we're over time. I thought you were having a sound effects. I don't know how to do that. Don't give me more credit. Okay. See, things that happen on the show that we never have no idea. No idea. Okay. So I think you had had one quick thing on a symbolic visualization ritual that might be helpful for people before we finish up. Yes. I did have one more exercise. It's called the symbolic visualization ritual. And that is where you choose one goal you're working on this year. And you want to identify three symbols that represent that goal. So take, for example, the goal I just mentioned of moving to England for the summer.

45:22I could pick the red bus. I could pick their famous cabs. I could pick big Ben. I could pick, you know, the London Bridge, whatever. You want to choose three goals that represent your... Actually, you know what? I would put myself in those pictures though, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I think you'd have to put yourself in those images. And then spend two minutes visualizing each symbol and vivid detail and repeat that daily for 21 days. It takes 21 days, consistent days, to really get it to settle into your subconscious mind. Because it's like a toddler. You know, you can tell your toddler you got to brush your teeth. It's, you know, bedtime. They're not going to do it. You've got to help them and walk them to the bathroom and be like, after a story time, we're brushing our teeth. It's the same thing with your subconscious. You've got to repeat, repeat, repeat the instruction. Perfect. All right. So I mean, I'm feeling a little more confident with my connection with my subconscious now.

46:22I am too. And I hope everyone else is. And I just, I just hope this jump starts listeners to really start to be more aware of their interior dialogue, their inner thoughts, their inner judgments and criticisms. And to be really aware of your triggers and to do a deep dive into, well, why does this piss me off? Or why do I want this to happen? What am I trying to create in my life? What am I trying to release in my life? What am I trying to change? And if you're hitting roadblock, roadblock, roadblock, that means either it's not where your high is good. Or it's not the right time. But usually, I think it's because the subconscious is blocking us. So try working with the subconscious with your goal and report back to us. Let us know how it works. Sounds good. Thank you guys so much for listening.

47:22If you enjoyed the episode, please share it with a friend or leave us a review on Apple or Spotify or comment. It really does help us grow our show. You can find out more about our work at smithefay.com and the grateful messenger.com. We will see you next week. Don't forget, as always, to show up to great work and share your life. Take care. At QVC, shopping is more than just checking out. It's discovering something new every day. Start with today's special value. Then explore exciting finds across the brands and categories you love. From beauty and fashion to home, culinary and outdoor living. Shop now at QVC.com.