The Pattern Underneath The Manosphere (It's Not What You Think)

0:00Howdy howdy ho and welcome to fantasy fanfellas. I'm Hayden producer of the fantasy fangirls podcast and your resident lover of all things sanderson and I'm steven your bookish internet goofball but you can call me the smash daddy and we are currently deep diving Brandon Sanderson's fantasy epic Mistborn, but here's the catch Steven here has not read Mistborn before that's right. Hey, hey, so each week you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chip and along the way we'll do character deep dives magic explainers and Steven will even try to guess what's next spoiler alert. He'll be wrong news flash I'm never wrong episodes come out every Wednesday and you can find fantasy fanfellas wherever you get your podcasts Hi, it's Matt here from p1 with Matt and Tommy and this episode is sponsored by eBay Ever tried to buy a cart online and end up in a parking lot with a stranger a paper title and some blind trust would secure purchase on eBay You don't have to secure purchase means sellers and titles are verified financing covered registration handled delivery

1:00Get your ride plates and paperwork shipped to you so you can skip the DMV and sketchy meetups by your next car on eBay eBay things people love Skill purchase is powered by Caramel dealer services LLC an eBay subsidiary Over 90 of the top 100 US accounting firms trust bill to simplify and secure bill pay that's proven financial Infrastructure built on over a trillion dollars of secure payments visit bill.com slash proven for a special offer Lots of people have been talking about the latest Louis through documentary and watching it I recognized an underlying pattern not just in them, but one I'm familiar with here and that I see Everywhere for years. I rejected my sensitivity and I pushed it into the shadow

2:02But what I've come to realize is if you want to wake up you have to embrace every aspect of yourself I grew up with a Father who was an engineer Who always had an immaculately mode lawn. He loved building stuff great at the IY always had a clean car but who was emotionally avoidant And so when I tried to connect with him on a vulnerable or sensitive level it was Very quickly clear at least how I perceived it that that was not somewhere that it was okay to go So that was the model of masculinity that I had And I rejected The softer side and pushed it into the shadow I had the other side because I could be a goby so and so and I was good at sport and could be outwardly confident

3:04So that was fine and in relationships as long as I was on form in that way fine But when my insecurity or desire to be vulnerable showed up I Unconsciously refused to feel it. I wanted to get rid of that part of me completely And so I'd go up into my head and That caused me significant issues and it came to a head in 2015. I went and I did ayahuasca abroad and During that ceremony, I had a very direct experience of This sensitivity in shadow coming up in a terrifying way That was so clearly linked to me being rejected by my father and therefore abandoned By life at large and it was terrifying And as I integrated that over time What I realized was that what you

4:08And what I resisted in myself I absolutely projected out and Reacted to outside so men who had that same avoidant energy as my father Triggered something in me and I would either not like them automatically or Frequently I'd feel insecure and act up around them wouldn't know what to do with myself but As I turned towards my sensitivity towards my softness and I embraced it And I balanced those two sides the hard and the soft yin and yang I realized that's where true strength lies because we all have those both parts within us and as I did that This reaction to that energy just dissolved And so watching the Louis through documentary

5:11I I'm not interested in judging the behavior. I'm really interested in the pattern underneath Because if you growing up haven't had that reflection back that the sensitive side that we all have Is okay Then we reject it in ourselves and we push it into shadow and what gets pushed into shadow can absolutely be Attacked outside us can be belittled. I don't like that anything that And bodies that softness and it's not just people and documentaries like that. This is so common I notice this with people I work with with high performers with people in position of power This rejection of sensitivity and it's not that it's not in there Someone who is like my father If they went and had an experience like I did in 2015 I'm sure that softness would rear its head

6:11And that would be a challenge for them But as I said If we want to wake up we have to integrate and embrace every aspect of our experience starting with our inner experience And so you can have Lamborghini's money Success approval, but if you're if there's an internal split if there's an internal disquire It's for nothing Because there will always be that that sense that something's not quite right until we embrace the entirety of our inside which can lead to Awakening Which can lead to true contentment peace fulfillment We have to stop abandoning ourselves if we're going to wake up To who we truly are

7:13Howdy howdy ho and welcome to fantasy fanfellas. I'm Hayden producer of the fantasy fangirls podcast and your resident lover of all things sanderson and i'm steven your bookish internet goofball But you can call me the smash daddy and we are currently deep diving Brandon sanderson's fantasy epic Missborn, but here's the catch Stephen here has not read Missborn before that's right hey hey so each week you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chip and along the way We'll do character deep dives magic explainers and Stephen will even try to guess what's next spoiler alert He'll be wrong news flash. I'm never wrong episodes come out every Wednesday and you can find fantasy fanfellas wherever you get your podcasts Over 90 of the top 100 us accounting firms trust bill to simplify and secure bill pay that's proven financial Infrastructure built on over a trillion dollars of secure payments visit bill.com slash proven for a special offer