The Newborn Stage: Hemorrhage Scare & Sleep Deprivation

0:00All new drinks are now at McDonald's, with refreshers like the strawberry water melon refresher, and the mango pineapple refresher with popping boba to graft in sodas like the spryberry blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire? Six all new drinks are here, now at McDonald's. Refreshers contain caffeine. Can we make a new rule? Don't say anything that's not nice. No farting, there's... Oh, it's holding our baby bottle leaning over. It was so much blood that we were like, are you hemorrhaging? You took the placenta pills and what happened? It could be a total coincidence. I felt a million times better and my physical symptoms also changed. We told my parents that they couldn't say what this is because with our old system we were using the gas bedrooms that like I could get some sleep in the night, and then I, Abigail, get some sleep in the night, with our new system, we're both not getting any sleep in the night.

1:00You're not getting any sleep in the night. Hey, real quick, before we get started, I wanted to let you know that one free way you can help us out and help us grow our show is by subscribing. Only about 35% of you guys are subscribed. So if you could just check real quick to make sure that you are subscribing to show, that would mean so much to us. Thank you, seriously, from the bottom of our hearts for being here. It means a lot that you're coming back each and every week to listen to the new episode that we've worked so hard on and without further ado, enjoy the episode. What's up dudes? Welcome back to the unplanned podcast. Woo! Woo! Yeah, baby! I had my second cup of coffee at the day. You're feeling hyped? I'm actually at the stage of exhaustion where I really feel caffeine. Yeah. Like I really feel it and I really look forward to it. Thank goodness you can have a little bit more caffeine when you're nursing than when you're pregnant. See why? No one talks about that shift. Why does the calf mean sometimes just it zaps my energy? I think that could be an ADHD. I feel like it's the crash. I feel good for five minutes and then it's more tired.

2:03Really? Yeah. I feel like that's what happens. I have an energy drink. But coffee just feels like that good energy. Energy drinks definitely do that to me. Yeah, I don't know. You can have 300 milligrams of caffeine in your nursing. I still stick to pretty much 200. But it does feel like a feel so good to have it now. That we're in this stage where you know, sleep isn't necessarily what it was. At the time of recording this, it's been three weeks to the day since Abby gave birth to little fishy, little picture. I feel great. I do feel really good. Feeling pretty good? Yeah. What do you think is the reason that you feel so good? Because I feel like this has been your best postpartum experience ever. Well, if I'm doing me to be real real. Be real real. I think it's just the fact that we're seasoned. Ah. Like, we've done this before. But there's also a lot of other factors that contribute to it. Probably like the fact that we have an awesome community, the fact that, you know,

3:05I had a more positive birth experience we have before. We have like a not-callic baby. I aid my placenta. Abby actively eating placenta, which is actually crazy. Why are we saying eating? Well, what's the other way to saying it? Taking. Okay, but the thing is like, babe, your placenta was huge and then after it was dehydrated, it shrinks it down to be super duper tiny. I'm still going to be taking those pills for like months. I know. What's crazy is like- No one explained that to me. Your placenta was like as big as- it was like bigger than my head. Did she say it was normal-sized? Totally normal-sized. Yeah. She said it was normal. Huge, huge dinner plate size organ. Yeah. Had gestational diabetes and she said that made her placenta much larger. And she also had it encapsulated and she's like, it was just way too many pills. I just can't believe that all the pills- That's crazy. All the placenta pills fit into a jar that's like the size of my fist. Bigger than that. Okay, two fists. A fist and a half. Yeah. Maybe- It's a lot of pills and you can only take two a day and it's like, this is going to take a long time.

4:10Yeah, but you're cracking and cracking away at it. I think, okay, here's the deal. When Abby- Can you share the really interesting thing that happened when you- Like right away when you started taking your place- Okay, yeah. I don't know- I don't think we talked about it on an online play- Because we'd already filmed that episode. Yeah. Um, like 10 or 11 days postpartum. So like, we can have. I think I might have gotten a little bit to- You know, there's like a- A high that you're on and then you're like, I'm just going to keep going. Yeah. I think I got a little too excited, did too much. Which they always say, like, just rest, just rest. But that's easier said than done for someone like me. And also for someone with two other toddlers in the house. And that day, I was experiencing like- Kind of- Oh, you were bleeding a lot. Yeah, I was kind of bleeding a lot. It was- it was so much blood that we were like, are you hemorrhaging? Like, what's going on? We asked, hey, I were like, hey, what should we do? It was like, go to the hospital immediately. And we're like, okay, that sounds like a bit-

5:10No, you were like trying to get me to go. For a little bit there, because I wasn't like fully understanding what was happening. So I was like, hey, I rather, you know, drop whatever it is on the ambulance or whatever, just to make sure- I don't know. I'm just like, at the end of the day, your health and safety is way more important than a medical bill. And so it's just like, what do we need to do? But then we came to realize that, okay, it was just- These weren't the post- These were like regular pads that you were- They weren't like medical grade. That's the thing that like made me like, convince you that it wasn't as serious. I didn't specify to AI that you were soaking through regular pads, not medical grade ones, because it like- I think the AI thought that you were like gonna die. It was a little bit- Yeah, I think out- It was abnormal. That's the thing. Like, the things that were happening, we won't get into too much details. But like, it was a little bit outside of normal. Obviously post-partum, so many things can happen and so many things are considered normal.

6:12But I was like, we'll just watch it closely for the night and then the next day, it still really wasn't much better. Yeah. And then you came home with the pills. And you took the placenta pills and what happened? My bleeding like was drastically reduced. How crazy is that guy? All anecdotal. It's all- And here's the thing, it could be a total coincidence. But I'm just saying, I felt a million times better and I had physical- Like, my physical symptoms also changed. Was that before- Like, had you been resting before that? Like, what- No. Because I had you start resting. Yeah, and then that day you were like, you're literally stay on this couch. And I did. I stayed on the couch for like two days and we even went to a birthday party and I literally sat the whole time. I felt so rude, but I just like didn't- I stayed seated and horizontal. And horizontal for like two days and this was in conjunction with taking the placenta pills. Yeah. Just focusing more on like slowing down, resting, healing, recovering and that- I mean, I feel like I did a 180 after that.

7:12Yeah, it was just Klamour if you're bleeding a lot after giving birth. Definitely take that super seriously. They tell you before you leave the hospital what to look for. We're not doctors, but I feel like a lot of people know about the hemorrhaging thing, how dangerous it can be. And I did hemorrhaging. You did hemorrhaging. You did hemorrhaging. Yeah. Okay. Why did they tell me that? They told us in hindsight. Oh, okay. Yeah. They get it to stop. They do a really weird thing. You don't want to stay on the podcast? I mean, I say a lot of things on this podcast. It's fine. Okay. They put something in your bottom. You're kidding me. Yeah, I'm not kidding. That gets the hemorrhaging to stop. I don't know what some pills let me put in there. That's crazy. She just told me that casually. I was like, you're gonna tell me that after the fact. What I learned from Randy, who edits this very podcast, is he told me that they'll put like a piece of placenta in mom's mouths, like when they're giving birth, if they're doing like an at home natural birth. Apparently that could even, in some ways, stop bleeding or stop hemorrhaging. Isn't that crazy? Have you ever heard of that?

8:12No. Where like women will put a piece of their placenta in the mouth. What? That's like a, that's more like a natural way of doing things. Again, that don't, like, we're not doctors. Okay. See that's one of those things that you do, we're gonna do it on our fourth birth. That's the progression. Just give back to our mammal roots more so each time. Yeah. Anywho, I think the pills are working, honestly. No, I really do. I think just the bleeding alone, that works like- I do it again. That's crazy. And side note, I mean, the fact that we have the community that we have now, we did not have a meal train for Griffin and Augie's birth. You know what? I think we might have, actually. Maybe like a really small one. Maybe it was like a handful of people. Or maybe it was just like not formally like with the meal train website. Yes. Like people would just bring us, some of our friends would bring us dinners, but wow, people now, her friends are crazy. Gosh.

9:12Yeah, we've been having, I mean, they're wrapping up so we're, the meal train is going to a close- Yeah, but we're three weeks out. It's crazy. Three weeks of dinner every night is insane. Like that's so- And so many other random drop-offs of bread and muffins and flowers and stuff for the boy. Like it's been- So generous. So generous. And so I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. Yeah, I think that right there is- It's like hard to almost accept. You know what I mean? Where you're like, I just, I can't- Like you've done so much. Like please, it's okay. Thank you. I mean, in my opinion, I think that's been the most transformative- So- Like a blifting part of all of this because doing something alone, going through- Going through something really hard alone is- It just makes it ten times worse. And for you to have like all your girlfriends that are like pouring into you, cheering for you, checking in on you- Yeah, so many people. Me having other dads that like- We don't, I mean, I feel like other dads, we don't get as deep as you ladies do, but

10:15just, just at least like knowing that we have each other- Doesn't need to go deeper. I guess we could, I guess we should. But you know, it's just good to know that we have people there for us. Seriously. And that has been incredible. Seriously. I mean, it changes everything. And I just hope I wish every mom could have this. Now that being said, we have been going through a little bit of a sleep regression sort of thing after the first- You're alive. Tiny came alive. He realized that he was on planet Earth and he's like, oh, I got it, I got it. He's like, I got to order these guys around. I got to ask them stuff up. You got it. Let's just start waking up all the time. You know what? It's only right. It's only appropriate. And it's just, it's, it's sweet because I'm like, this is literally, I can hear our kids right now. What's going- Like he's fitting right in. That's exactly what we want. Honestly, he's just a normal newborn. Yeah. Just a normal guy. He's got opinions. He's got things. He does not want to be said out. Actually, I saw this quote on Pinterest and I screenshot it.

11:18I'm going to show you. It's weird though. We're getting less sleep now. Three weeks out than we were the first week. Totally. Which I, I think, you know, again, comparatively everything has been so much better than the first two times. But it's weird how it's like, it's like he was doing a little trick, you know? Like the first week, he was like a dream baby. He was just so sleepy. Just- What were I hear, Matt? It says, the babies that come into this world not wanting to be put down are born to the mamas who need to slow down. Ah. Yep. So you've got to slow down. Just what we're learning. I got to slow down. And he's forcing me to slow down. It's really great. I love that guy. I actually hate that he's not here right now. He's taking that. I know. Yeah. He's sleeping. Let's hope. I have fingers crossed. I might need to run in a minute. Yeah. No, he's come alive. He's got his preferences. And it's all very normal. All very- That's the thing we're seasoned now. Yeah.

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13:18You can return it for free if you don't like it with your sleep trial. Visit www.sleepsleep.me slash unplanned and never wake up hot and tired again. But with the sleep regression that's been occurring with the lack of sleep, we've been switching things up in the night recently. We tried something new last night. Yes. We completely abandoned our original postpartum plan that we had. I think the original plan was like after the first week, I was like kind of full on toddler duty with the three and four year old and like, I mean, I've been, you know, I guess I'm double dipping now, because I think the whole idea was like, yeah, I'll come, like at 5 or 6 a.m. whenever, you know, whenever you do your last like night feed, I would then take Fisher and then wake up for the boys. You could interact the 5 a.m. one. I think I could. No. I think if I went to bed with our toddlers at like 8 o'clock, I think waking up at 5 a.m. If you go to bed at 8 o'clock, it's not. Oh, you're planning on leaving me for the whole night.

14:20I think that was the original plan, but we've kind of abandoned it. Oh, yeah. We've got to abandon it. We've completely abandoned that plan. Because when I nurse him in the night, he's literally just like, okay, let's do this for an hour. And then I'm going to be so snuggly with mom that the second she puts me down, that's just not going to fly. And then I just don't sleep at all. So what we were doing is we would do a bottle feed around like 9.30 to like get this kid just full of milk, which by the way, he's only three weeks out of today. He's been he's been shugging four ounces of milk in a single feed for the past like five days, six days. It's impressive. This kid can eat some food. And then, you know, we do another feeding. This is more recently. So 9.30 feed, then we do another feed around like one a.m. Because this pediatrician said he could go four to five hours without, you know, four and a half, four and a half. I stick to that. That's something that I like really stick to.

15:21Anyway, so then we do another feed then, but then the problem that we ran into like a week ago was he would not like, he would just be like up for the day at like 4.30 and five. That. And then he would also wake up quite a bit around like the one o'clock to 4.30 time. So I started Abby started sleeping in the guest bedroom from like 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. Yeah. One a.m. to 4.30. I'm kind of like in that range. Yeah. And then once I once he was like ready to eat again at like, you know, 4.30, 5.30, I would go and get Abby and then I would go in the guest bedroom and then wake up with the boys when they wake up around, you know, 6.30s when they start making noise, but they're out of bed at 6.45. Anyway, all that being said, that was what we used to do. And then we just tried to make completely completely. Completely. I was going to ask you how did that work for you last night? Of course. Dang it. It worked amazing for me.

16:22You know, I think that's it. I feel so rested. That's the thing is like I just, you know, it's not about me. So whatever I need to do to support you at this time, because you just gave birth to our baby, like I'm going to do, you know, yeah. Dang it. That worked out so good for me. I finally got, I liked my watch and I got, let's just see right here. Consulting the smart watch. Seven hours and eight minutes. You got seven hours and six. Oh, that's amazing. That's so good. I was fully asleep at like 9, 921 pm. Let's go. And I was up for the day at 545. We only woke up twice to feed. Nice. Nice. That's good. But how did you, I think I just, not cake asleep. I think I just don't sleep. I actually, so I just don't sleep good. I take my smart watch off at night. I was in bed with it. Let's read the news. It really effs with my head when I look at how much sleep I got the next day. Like, especially when, so I had insomnia, like a year and a half ago. And when I would look at my watch and see like, oh, four hours of sleep.

17:23I'd say they say where our balls can mess with you. It really mess with my brain. So I just have decided, I don't even want to know how much sleep I got. I don't care if it's three hours or six. I don't care. Like, I'm not going to, I don't want to know. Yeah. Did you wear that last night? I'd take it off every night. I always do watch off. Oh, okay. Because you were in bed longer than me. Yeah. I was. I just think you can't go back to sleep as well. That's true. You can, you fall asleep so quickly. Yeah. And I just like lay there. Like, I woke up and I was like, I feel energized. I feel good. Let's go. Let's go. Feel good. What we'll do, I also just had a cup of coffee. We'll continue to do the new method. The only reason I say that is because our kid can eat a bottle so much faster than he can nurse. I mean. And so then he just goes back to sleep way better. And we're not up for the day at 4.30. He woke up at 5.45 today. For me. That was so good. Like we like never talk each other, which we talk all the time. We were just around each other 24-7. But I feel like for me, I either, if I'm waking up multiple times the night, I want the

18:26ability to sleep in or B. So that was, does A, A, that was A. One and B. Okay. That was option number one. Either if I'm waking up a lot in the night, I want to be able to sleep the freaking. Option two is if I get to sleep through the night, I can wake up at 5 a.m. whatever. You know, whatever time I'll take my little unissum or melatonin, not myself the freak out at like 8 o'clock. And if that baby wants to wake up at 4.45, I'm up for the day. You know. Is that overly ambitious you're shaking your head? I think we can't do that right now. Okay. All I'm saying is. I like seeing you at 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. That's the thing is like I think you probably get lonely doing feedings by yourself. So I think you have a night support. I know. I feel so spoiled because most husbands are like sleeping through the night. Oh, yeah. And the wife just does it, especially when you're nursing because they're like, it's just easier for me to do it by myself and I get that. But it's not easier for me to do it by myself.

19:29It's easier for me to do it with you. 100%. Just because the bottle thing, I just, you know, it gets to bed quicker because he will nurse for like 45 minutes to an hour in the night because he's falling asleep. That makes sense. He's so cozy with me. Yeah. And then he doesn't, then I wrap him up and put him in bed and he's like, wait, where's mom? I was just snuggling with her for the past hour. Whereas like when he just has a bottle with you, he, that takes 20 minutes total for you to feed him, diaper change, re-swaddle, finish feeding him back in bed. Yeah. He goes back to sleep way better. You're right. We definitely do have a good, we have a good situation. Good to see you. Yeah. Well, I'll do whatever I need to do for as long as I need to do it. Thank you. Because you're my, you're my greater love, you're my greater, you're the love of my life. He won't be waking up through the night. Actually, it was really sweet. You texted me the other day. Tiny was having a really hard time calming down and you texted me.

20:30I'm going to read your text because they were so sweet. Oh, that. Do you also do you realize you texted me the crying? Try me like what did I say? I can't read this. What did you say? You have a nice, you have a nice, I can't. I can't. Like that's just something that you just texted me today at 10, 15 PM on a two day. Sorry, I like to compliment you. It's wrong with that. It's so nice, but it's just so random. Like I feel like I have to hide my text like I can't show my mom stuff on my phone. The text, oh yeah, this is what you said. You're my love and you're so important to me and I love the sweet life we're building with our boys. Newborn stages temporary. It's only going to get easier. That's so sweet. I love you. You text me really nice stuff all the time. You're a really nice guy. I think a really nice girl. But it's so nice like having that perspective like saying like this Newborn stages temporary life with our boys is so sweet. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I feel like that also has made a really big difference. It's just like a total perspective shift because it's like, yeah.

21:33I did say to you the other day, I was like, when Fisher is the age that Griffin's at right now, I will be 32 years old, which sound like, no, that sounds old. Okay. That's a man right there. A man. And you're 30s. I've literally known you since you were 17. Wait, 14. It's 14, 13 or 14. I think it was 14. 14 to 17. I've known you. It was the summer of 2013. It is very different from 32. Yeah. Goodness. You just keep getting better too. Like you, like people are like noticing like you're filling out. You're looking manly. Thank you. You mastered your haircut. I started actually getting haircuts is what I started doing. It was so amazing. And that's what I'm saying. Like we've just beat you up a better team. You know what I learned at the barber last week? People get their haircut every week. There are some guys that literally go to the barber every week. I've been like a once every three months guy in my whole life. Until until like a year. This should go. I know I started learning like two years ago that I should get more haircuts.

22:37And then now I go every month. But I think it makes a big difference. I really do. Yeah. Well, those guys might be using like the actual like razor blade like getting it really true. closest skin there. And I did the math to see like what that would cost if you go to the barber that often. And it's like that'd be like $3,000 a year just on your hair. Well think about what women spend on maintenance. Holy cow. But I get I guess there's women that talk that. Man, I care and pedicure people get their hair done all the women. Like that, but it's like highlights. Yeah. Some women get like facials, bow talks, spray tans. What else people get done? Waxing. I think for the longest time. I think for the hair removal. See, for me for the longest time, I was just stuck in this mindset of how do I spend as least the least money as possible on my hair. And so I would get you know, just I'm just I did say that I'm kind of a hypocrite on what

23:37I said if we have a third boy all learn how to cut boys hair. Ah, and I kind of want to take that back. Maybe at some point I'll try. I did like think I wanted to learn how to do that and I just still haven't done it. I can't imagine getting them to sit still. That's probably the hardest part. Well, you just put on a show. I guess. You just turn on pop patrol. Okay. And then you're good to go. Yeah. Also, pop patrol movie. We did go and see that. That was so good. Huge hit. Huge success. I love that snoop dog was in it. I like immediately recognize this voice from the start. The soundtrack is pretty good. Yeah, Terry Cruz. I was entertained. Did you know that Terry Cruz was like the bad guy? He was one of the villains. He was the dye. He was the explosive expert that was there to harvest the diamonds off of Dino Island, whatever the place was called. You're kidding. Yep. They had a lot of things to do. I saw him in the ads, but I didn't put two and two together. The three boys did the song. They were in the soundtrack for the movie. I actually really enjoy. I keep listening to that song with kids. That's why it's popping up on the Spotify.

24:38It's great. It's a great song. I used to think the Backstreet Boys were so cool when I was little. Like I wanted to be the Backstreet Boys. That's probably where all this desire for wanting to be in the show business at a young age and meeting you doing theater probably started with me being a fan of the Backstreet Boys. See, you couldn't be a part of a boy band though unless you were like the lead. What? Because you are a, you're a solo act man. I'm a solo act. Yeah. I don't know if that's a compliment or a gift. It's a compliment. Who wants to be like the random one that everyone forgets? True. Yeah. I guess you're right. I could see one of our, one of our boys getting into the, the arts just with how like they, they love to put on a show, especially Augie. I always think about this. I'm like, what if one of them wants to do sports? What are we going to do? What do you mean what are we going to do? We're going to let them play sports. We don't know about sports. We know, we know how it's for its Abby. I mean, they do little sports, but I don't know what you think about it. It's not, I mean like, we went to the park to their day and they were doing flag football

25:41practice. I was like, I just don't see you as like a football coach. I did football for like a month in sixth grade. So you get a coach. So you get a coach. So I like fully under, yeah, I basically could coach the team. I fully understand it. It was really cute. They are, they're growing up. Yeah. They are regressing just a little bit, which is very normal, very normal, but there's been a new found interest in like all of a sudden. Now they want to ride in a stroller, which we could never get them to send a stroller. What was up with that? We were walking to the park, the weather, like cool down to be sub 100 degrees in Arizona yesterday. So it's basically like, wow, like it's so it's almost cool. Abby put on a crew neck to go. I'm wearing a special shirt right now. I'm not even kidding you guys. It was, it was 88 degrees and I was like, I'm going to put on a crew neck. I think I'm going to go outside. I had a turtle neck on. Yeah, what is wrong with you? That was weird. I was so weird. I think it's just because I just kind of wanted something big and loose. Anyway, I look like I'm in the second trimester now.

26:41Not the third. So that's good. You look incredible. You look incredible seriously. You're so nice. But okay, we're walking to the park and then our oldest who's four. They both wanted to get in the stroller. They wanted to be in the stroller so bad. And then we, and it's not even a stroller. It's literally a bassinet. It's the place that you put your backpack underneath the bassinet. And so, they're riding in that. They're riding at the very base of this thing. Oh, I know. On the park and then they fought over who gets riding that on the way back. And they see all the attention. They're very interested in binkies, re-interested in just like all the baby stuff. Yeah. So, you know, that's just something that I feel like happens universally. Like your older kids start to look back and they're like, wait a minute. But we're trying to avoid the binkies. I feel so sad though. Like this is what's hard is that I say I'm booby trapped, which I am. I'm booby trapped most of the day. Nursing. And then they're like, Mom, come, they literally like be bowser. Chase me. Do this, do this, do this. Come look at this. Do come in my clubhouse, like all these things.

27:43And I'm like, I hate every time being like, okay, well, I have to finish doing this with baby finisher. And then I'll come or not right now. It's not a good time. I have to change his diaper. Or he said he needs me right now. Like I hate that. That makes me sad. Yeah. That's some mom guilt for you. I've been trying really hard to not say no to our kids. Like even if I'm in the middle of like the work day trying to get caught up on things, like just recognizing that, you know, me taking the time out of my day to go spend quite time. It is confusing for them though because like today I was trying to get things done and they just kept coming. They just love playing with you. They want to be the badger. You're so good about playing with them. Thanks. And so they're like, they think you'll do it. Like you can do it literally anytime because you do it so much with them. Yeah. So wholeheartedly. I've been trying to teach them though. Like, do you know, I have to work. Do you know why I have to work? And now Griffin's like, so we can be in our house. Like that's what he understands. So there's that.

28:43And then I'm like, so that we can go on like vacation. We can have food. You know. What we have been trying to do is also just give them one-on-one attention. I think that the more kids you have, like obviously three is not like a big family. But like your attention is usually like shared with your siblings. Yeah. And so I've been really trying to like one-on-one with them whenever I can. And even just like I literally just hung out one-on-one with one of our boys for like 20 minutes. And he would not believe like the way that I just feel like his eyes just like lit up. And just like it meant so much. And I feel like I really got to like connect in that moment. And so yeah, that's just something I've been re-reminded in. I'm like, okay, even though we're in a demanding stage with a newborn, like literally three weeks old today. Like it's still, I can make that happen for like 20 minutes is even a lot. You could even do it for 10 minutes, five minutes.

29:46And that would really make a big difference. And so that's been sweet. We just kept laughing together. I actually felt really creepy. I were in the little clubhouse, which is like the area underneath our stairs where the kids' toys are. And I was like sitting there. I was like, we were just talking. We're cracking jokes. We're laughing. And every time we like start laughing, he would go, we're let or we're cracking up. We're cracking up, mom. And like we were just like really having a good time. And then I was like, do you know how much I love you? And then I start crying. I'm like, mommy loves you so much. And then I was like, I love you so much that it makes me cry sometimes. And I felt so creepy because I'm like trapping your mother the stairs and like we're laughing and then all of a sudden I'm crying. And he's like, I felt like that really creepy movie preview that we saw. We saw the Odyssey that like really creepy mom. Oh my gosh. What was that really called? You know what that's called? That was horrible. Mommy. I never want to see that.

30:47And I don't know why I thought of her. Why are they making movies like that? She has two mommies. Like one mommies, the creepy mommy and the other mommies. Oh, other mommies. Other mommies. Oh my gosh. Yeah. We should go see it. No. I want to go see it. That one actually looks really, really scary. You would be curled up on my lap the entire movie. I don't like that stuff. We saw a scary movie for our first date. We saw a horrible movie on our first date. Matt of the genres of scary movies. Demon possession is probably the worst. Sorry. That was the worst. It was a memorable date. We can't forget about it. I know. I actually, good thing I was not focused on the movie at all. You have to know that I was really obsessed with you because I was watching the most scary movie literally ever. And I couldn't, I couldn't, I remember zero things about the movie. Thank you to Branch Basics for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Tears, something most of us are never thinking about. What is in those cleaning products that we use in our homes? It wasn't until we had little ones putting basically everything into their mouth that

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32:55After you purchase, when they ask where you heard about them, please make sure to mention our show. Switching the gears. How is pretzel a bit adjusting? I think she's crushing it honestly. Sometimes I feel like pretzel is on crack. She's just jumping off of our couch. I got her tennis balls, really heavy duty tennis balls. She's ripping those up now. She rips up at least one of our kids' toys per day. But we love her. We love her so much. She eats them. She literally digest at least one plastic toy. We don't even know what to do. Literally the microplastics in that girl. And we shut, we put the toys away and then she literally breaks in. She knows how to open that door. To the clubhouse and just like. Get socks. Yeah. Anyway. But I think she's doing really good because now that I'm a little bit further out, I can go on little mental health walks with Fisher. And so I've actually been able to take Fisher and pretzel on walks and it literally fills

33:56me with so much joy. I'm just walking. Does pretzel feel like your bodyguard? No, she feels, I mean, yes and no. I don't feel unsafe anyway. But she feels like it's feel so good to have her. Also I feel like I haven't been that angry with her in this post part of the season. Definitely had a couple moments where I was like, I felt like I was like, booby trapped once again and I see her eating something she shouldn't eat. And I'm like pretzel, pretzel. And I'm like, I don't want to lose it because I'm stuck. I can't do anything about it. I found pretzel on all four standing on top of the kitchen table yesterday. Yeah, she again. Again? That's her day. She's a billy goat. Or was that today? Maybe that was today. See, that's part of the post part of fog. Gosh. It hit you too. No, she is ordinary but she's a really good dog. And I feel like I would be so much more mad at her if she was a barking dog and like was waking up our baby. She literally doesn't really bark. So that has made it, I think that's what's made it so easy. If she was like barking all the time, that would really bug us.

34:58But she's done so well. Like we put Fisher like in his little bouncer and we felt like we always had to put him on an elevated surface because of pretzel. But she learned right away, like, got to keep my distance around this guy. She's just giving him a couple little licks on the feet and like a couple little sniffs on his head and she's maybe she does have some type of maternal instinct in there. She's not fixed yet. So everybody says that she's... Could be a mama. Everyone mischenders pretzel. They all think that they're... I know. It's a she, guys. Our dog is a she. Your dad is even... Both of our moms. But yeah, nobody can call. He. Him. Right, gender. It's like it's a girl. Our dog is a girl. And she's beautiful. Yeah, she's a beautiful girl. We love her. She does. I feel like she looks very girly. Yeah. She's pretty. She does act like a boy though. She does act like a boy. Okay. Sorry, you were switching gears earlier. Yes, switching gears. Let's hear it. I was gonna let everyone know. We've gone on a few family outings since everything.

36:00Probably mostly because it's so hot here. It's been so hot like we can't... We would just go to the park if we could. Yeah, there's not really like a... You kind of have to go indoors with how hot it's been. Yeah. But we did a little trip to Legoland. Not the Legoland and San Diego, the Legoland and Phoenix Arizona. Is it in Tempe? Yep. It's kind of a sketchy mall that they put Legoland in. Yeah, a little sketchy. And Legoland is a bit of a stretch, but it's still a good time. It's more of like a Lego meetup spot with some indoor... It's a Lego store with like an indoor play place. Yeah. But our kids loved it. The randomly has a couple rides. Yeah, they have like an indoor flying ride. You fly around, but it only goes like 15 feet into the air. Perfect. We have a three year old. Oh yeah. They loved it. Griffin loved it. All he did it right with me. And then... No, because he was doing laser tag as he calls it. That was cute. Yeah, it was cute.

37:00I had a really good time. It was funny. I never was into Legos as a kid. I like never cared about Legos ever, but other kids did. And I think our kids are going to be Lego kids. Oh, they're great at Legos. Yeah. I love Legos. I think they're great for motor skills for just so many things. Yeah, I don't know why. It's like, I'm putting the STEM category. Yeah. And I think it's great. I think doing them and knowing how all that goes together is probably really good for their brain. They should follow the instructions too. I think it's really good. So I'm a huge fan. We've also... This wasn't as quite educational. We went to the arcade with our boys. Don't ask us how many times we played the dinosaur Jurassic Park game because our kids just kept wanting to go to that one. And having boys any game that involves some sort of slight remnants of violence, they're like, let's play that one. Yeah. Let's go shoot the dinosaurs. I know. What's up with that? I don't like it. I don't want them to have G-U-N-S.

38:03But they don't even call them that because we don't... Shooters. They call shooters. They're like, I want to play the shooter game. Yeah. Yeah. I tried. I think they don't have those toys, but they make them out of their legos. They make them out of sticks. They make them out of anything. Why was it easier for our kids to play the Jurassic Park game than the Angry Birds game? Because like, they... We tried the Angry Birds one and I think they just didn't quite understand that like, you're trying to hit the base of the structure. They know how to play most of the games. Yeah. You probably could have gotten away with not putting any money in the scene. That's true. They quote unquote play the games for like 30 minutes without us even paying for anything. That's that. That is the hack. Take your boys to the arcade. If they're under the age of five, take them to the arcade and be like, it's free. Go play all the games. Go play all the games. All the games are going. It's all free. Yeah. That worked for a while. I actually really enjoyed that. I had fun playing the games with them.

39:04Okay. You went back the next night. Yeah. And I, me and Fisher stayed back. I know. We're going to rest. Yeah. We've also been going to the aquarium. That's another like indoor activity we can do in Arizona when it's 100 f degrees outside. And we love that place. I will say it kind of hits you when you walk in the aquarium. It just smells like fish. You know, like it's like you're going into like a seafood market, you know? That's kind of like your dad and lad activity. I've literally never been in the aquarium. You've never been in the aquarium. I've gotten so many times. I know. Um, I thought. You're such a good dad. Thanks. I thought I was going to get like a deal because if you take, if you get your, uh, if you get your season pass at like the zoo or the aquarium and you go like before your kid turns the age that they cost, then you get that whole year for free with that kid. I literally went the day before August 3rd birthday and come to find out it actually starts cost, this starts costing it too. Which is crazy. Yeah. Didn't, yeah, didn't save any money, but still amazing and still worth it.

40:06I mean, we've already gotten our money's worth from the aquarium. It's so educational. They learn a lot. They always tell me about all the animals when they come back home. They love animals. Um, how do you feel about the fact that our son's birthdays are officially one day apart? That is crazy. And that's actually crazy. We're going to have to figure this out. What do we get to do? And then our other son's birthday is on a holiday weekend. I guess we can. No one's birthday is getting celebrated on the day of. I know. I think, I think that trying to celebrate, yeah, we learned this the hard way. So throwing a birthday party for Griffin on his actual birthday, it's for the child. It didn't work. Nobody could come. Like it was so sad. So sad. Like we had a party the week before. Huge turnout. So many people came. It was the magic show. And then the next week, because it was over a holiday weekend, nobody came. So we'll move his birthday a week up. 100%. Yeah. Which is unfortunate because that's when I moved my dad's birthday. Ah, yes. But no problem. We can just forget. We can just forget about your dad. Yeah, actually at this point, it's like this canceled. When you're a dad, I think your birthday just no longer matters.

41:06Doesn't matter. It's like. And yeah. But then this, so our son's birthday, our second birthday is literally the day before I went into labor. So his party is now this weekend. Yeah. And then what are we going to do about Fisher in the future? Oh my gosh. Thank you. There's certainly all getting separate birthdays. Yeah. And I'm saying this. So I stick to that. Because it would be so much easier to join birthday. But that ain't right. Yeah. And I ain't right. Can't join them up. I mean, to each their own. But for me personally, I'm like, it's not their fault that their birthdays just fell a day apart. Like any, they should have their own party. Yeah. So this weekend's the pirate party. I'm excited for you. It's going to be really fun. I'm excited. Katie who is on our podcast. Yeah, Katie Church. She's making a pirate ship pinata. That's so fun. And I'm filled with candy and gold coins for it. So I think that's going to be so fun. I love how you invited her to the party.

42:07And then she was like, I want to make a pinata for this party. And she just... She said pinatas are so easy. And I'm like so easy for you. It would take my whole life. And it's still wouldn't resemble pirate ship. This is going to be a very premium pinata that we're going to have for this party. Do you even know what's happening for this party? Fill me in. Fill me in on what's happening. Where it's a pool party. OK. I did know that. Got a lifeguard. Got a bunch of diving toys that are pirate's booty. Let's go. Kids can jump in from a pirate's treasure chest. OK. School and crossbones everywhere. The pinata. We got actual pirate's booty. The popcorn. That's hilarious. That'll be great. We're catering Chipotle. Gonna have a birthday cake. It's going to be fun time. I'm excited for that. Chipotle catering is going to be awesome. That was your idea. That was my idea. And that was someone catered. I think he was either Chipotle or Cudoba at a college graduation party. When people were doing those 10 years ago, when you were a high school graduation. You remembered this that law. Yes. And it was so good.

43:08I was like, one day, if I can never afford it, I'm going to cater Chipotle for a party. And look at it now, babe. It's actually a affordable option. Look at it now. I would say it's a very good option. Cost-wise, too, for the amount of food you get. Yeah. What does crack me up with some of the catering costs, though? If you ever go to cater a party, sometimes the math doesn't like math for the cost of catering. Like sometimes it's almost cheaper. If you were just to individually buy a coffee for everyone that orders a coffee, or individually buy a meal at Chipotle for everyone that gets a meal, sometimes that's cheaper than the cost of catering for the amount of people you have. It's weird. But then you don't want to be weird and like. Get everyone's order ahead of time. Yeah. Because then that makes everybody a lot more work. Now you have to come to the party because we specifically ordered your Chipotle bowl. Have you heard of how people will literally send a bill to wedding guests that don't show up because of how much it costs to have an extra person at your wedding? They'll be like, all right, here's $200 a chip. I mean, I get it. $200. I get it, but. That's not classy.

44:09But it's also rude to RSTP for you in the last minute. I would agree that's equally not classy. Yeah. So anyway, this party's gonna be freaking awesome. Yeah, I feel like I forgot something. They got a lot of decor. I was gonna get a big inflatable pirate ship for the pool. And I even told the boys about it. And I knew you were gonna say no, it's not safe. It's not safe. I hate it. I didn't get it. Well, I told you, did you know about how I like saved my brother's life when I was a kid? Because I jumped in, he got stuck underneath like a floaty and I saw him struggling and I went and got him out. Like those are such a danger in pools. Yeah, actually the first time we had a pool party and I hired a life guard, they said no floaties. No inflatable, or not no floaties, no inflatable. I know that we have like the floaties on the side of the house for when like if you or your mom wants to have a pool. But not with the kids. I honestly, even then though, I kind of just want to like literally pop all of them because I just don't. Oh, it seems like we could donate them. Okay, maybe we could donate them. But I just don't, it's just not worth the risk, you know?

45:10Yeah, that's scary. Freaks me the freak out. So now they keep asking me about having a pirate ship in the pool, I was like no, it's not safe. And they're like, so. Maybe we could do like a pirate ship kite or something. I used to have, I had a pirate ship kite when I was a kid. I've never been able to successfully fly a kite. We should take the pirate ship kite with us to Newport. Let me go to Newport. Yeah, I'm excited for that. Yeah. Is there a lot of wind in Newport? The beach, yeah, like that's the beaches and tourists were having wind. That's where the Wright brothers when they got the first plane. Yeah, that's why they like Kitty Hawk and the care, is it North Carolina, South Carolina? One of them. Oh, I thought you were saying it was in Newport. No, they didn't do it in Newport. The Wright brothers were in Newport? No, they were on the east coast. Okay. Anyway, Kitty Hawk. My history knowledge. Yeah, that's where they got the first plane to fly because of all the wind. Wow. And people used to, like, I think they studied like kites and stuff too. That's thrilling. When they were doing that. Thank you to Ocea for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Guess what is on my legs, my arms today and basically every day.

46:11Ocea. Exactly. One of my pet peeves about skincare in general is that a lot of them are having a hefty price tag making all these grand promises and then they really just under deliver. But that is genuinely not Ocea. I love putting it on after my morning shower because it's so light on my skin. It does not leave me feeling sticky and it's quickly become one of my holy grail products because it's clean seaweed powered skincare from the sea. Tell by the send of it that it's made with really great ingredients. And what really stretch me is its invisible lightweight feel. For over 30 years, Ocea has stayed consistent with clean, clinically tested skincare from the sea. Hyaluronic body serum is made for everyday use or when your skin is in need of revival, cooling, refreshing, weightless and powerfully hydrating. Ocea uses an artisanal process that infuses vitamins, minerals and antioxidants, bottled at peak potency for a silky, smooth, full body glow. I feel better with it on. I look better with it on and I smell better with it on.

47:12Go to oceamaliboo.com and get 10% off your first order with code unplanned. That's oceamaliboo.com code unplanned. We have some rules that we have been following postpartum. No, you broke one of the rules. I broke the rule. What did I break? What did I do? I might be too fresh to bring up. I'm terrified. I don't even know what it is right now. You said I'm tired. Oh shoot. Okay, I did say I was tired. And the second, the second that I said it, I immediately regretted it. And then I was like, wait, but I thought I could say it once and no, that's not how we can say that she's tired once. I can't say that I'm tired once. Yes. So I am so sorry. I should not have said that. Should have not said that I was tired. It didn't, it didn't start our day well. Yeah, not it, that not, not a good way to start the day. It didn't go over us. Absolutely not. Obviously I felt my body temperature raised when you said that. It's crazy. I'll say like the night when you get,

48:13like you getting five hours of sleep versus seven hours of sleep. Five hours is not good. I feel like you're a different person. Like I just, so that's why it's like. Also when I get five hours and it's interrupted, that's. Like I think if anyone is having some sort of argument or dispute with their spouse in the post-partum stage, it's almost like it's probably hard to tell your brain this because you're, there's probably something that's making really mad and whatever. But it's like you almost have to just recognize, I am sleep deprived. It is, if I had quality sleep right now, this would not be happening. This, yeah, this wouldn't cause such an emotional reaction. Actually Abby was telling me that this girl that she follows says that nothing counts. Anything that you say to your partner in the night, the first like with a baby, none of that counts. There we go. I don't know how she actually said it, but something like that. And I was like, yeah, that's, that checks out. Yeah, that's good.

49:14We should initiate that rule. Another rule for post-partum, shower every day. That's one, you've been showering. I smell so bad when I wake up in the morning. I've never noticed. Yeah, that's because this is a rule. I have to shower in the morning. I've smelled you before the shower and you smell awesome. No, I don't. I smell so bad. I think it's a hormone's coming out of my body. Another rule. I will make Abby's, I make your coffee for you and your eggs. All these rules are really in my favor. Well, hey, you're the one that needs to actually, you need that for support. I do, I do need that for support. What are some rules that I'm forgetting? We're trying to do no binkies. I mean, not really a rule, but that's like, we're just like trying to know. Well, no, then I try to give them a binky. Sometimes like it is helpful just from like suck on something for a little bit and then it just falls out of his mouth, but it does kind of help him like chill out. I know he likes to say if he's pant. Oh my god. And I'm like, I'd rather have a binky every once in a while.

50:17So we're the nursing a lot, which is good. Yeah. Just takes a really long time because I think that is just starts to get comfy. He's like, no, I can't pry that. I try to like pry it off and then he just gets back on there. Yeah. But yeah, he hasn't really taken a binky yet, which means I'm still it's up. It's up in the air whether or not this is a good thing or a bad thing. Yeah. We might find ourselves in a bigger problem than we were with binky obsessed kids. No, do we train him to use the binky? I'm trying. I really did train our other two to use the binky. And then we regretted it because they got obsessed. Yeah, eventually like when they can use their own hands, they can like grab the binky and put it back in their mouth. Will you sniffing right now? Do you smell like a newborn baby? I do. Are you smelling my kneecap? You were just stop using our babies below. I'm sorry, I've got ashy knees. I feel like noodle and boo over here. Okay, that's out. Oh my gosh. You can actually smell the baby lotion on my knees.

51:17Yeah, I can. Dang. So yeah, the jury's still out of whether or not, because at first I was like, let's just try to not do a binky. And then I was like, well, wait a minute. Now he has no way to like calm down unless he's like nursing. Yeah. And then I try to give him binky and it's not working. So I don't know. The jury's still out whether or not that was a good call. But we'll see. What are the other rules we have? Well, you've kind of just kind of become the full time entertainment for our two older kids. You're the toddler man now. The toddler man. And I'm the baby lady. What's funny though is I feel like I've got the easier side. Like I feel like everything you're going through is so much harder. Yeah. Yet rewind to a couple months ago. And if you're like, hey, I'm going to just piece out and you're going to do everything for our two little boys. It's just crazy how, you know, like with the perspective shifts that we've had now.

52:19You know, that's what it's called. It's called your capacity. Are both of our capacities have grown? They've increased. So now it feels easy for me to have just a newborn or to have just a newborn and a toddler even. It still feels easy like then having all three. Yeah. Which is still still feels man. I don't know. It's just crazy how like your perspective changes so quickly. You're capable of a lot. What are your thoughts on my parents coming into town? You know what our new system they really could stay with us? That's what I'm thinking. I'm like, we told, so we told my parents that they couldn't stay with us when they came to visit because we're just like fresh in the newborn stage. And so we asked them to stay with your parents and then like come over and hang out. And that was because with our old system, we are using the guest bedroom set like I could get. I could get some sleep in the night. I could get some sleep in the night. Both our new system were both not getting any sleep in the night. So I think yeah, within this new better system where we're both not sleeping like I think. Yeah.

53:24Maybe we should keep up my parents stay at your parents house. Maybe we should, maybe this new system isn't so great. I think that this system is working great for me. What's crazy is that we're waking up. I'm actually sleeping, still sleeping less in here. A lactation consultant's gonna hate this, but like what? I can't skip a video. Are we a pony even ask? Skip a freaking feeding. Let me do the nighttime. Let me just do the nighttime and do the bottles in the night. I'll change it down. I'll do everything. When I say skip a feeding, Matt is saying he wants to give a bottle and I'm not pumping. Yeah, you just keep sleeping. Now Abby, you have so here's the thing. You're a rare breed of woman. You have so much over supply. Like Abby makes- No, I feel like it's going to be. Abby literally makes in addition to feeding our son every day an entire court. We're talking a fourth of a gallon of breast milk that she makes in addition to what she gives her kid. She's right now. And that's- She says right now, I know that it's not gonna always be that way. And that you guys is primarily from Ahaka. She's not even pumping to get that.

54:25It's just fallen out from Ahaka. That is kind of a form of a pump. So what I'm saying is I feel like- I feel like you should probably just like- I don't know. I just need to get six hours. I need to get six hours. I think what we could do- Of interrupt and sleep. And that's fine. You could just keep sleeping through one of the feedings and I'll do the changes in the milk and all that. Your milk supply is not gonna dwindle. And if it does, if you start to only have an extra eighth of a gallon of milk a day- I will get mastitis. I know that I will. I will get mastitis. Yeah, because I wake up for that feed at- That's the longest stretch I go in the- What if we try it? What if we try it? Looms in my- In my- What if tonight? What if tonight? Me and Fish. Go sleep in the guest bedroom. I'm- Next question. I wake up at, you know, 1 a.m. Do his feed and I'll come and get you- I'll come and get you for feeding number two in the night at like four or five a.m. But then you have just like slept on- You just got complete straight sleep from like 10 p.m. till four a.m.

55:25No, that's not- Absolutely crazy. Wait, why not? I can't do it. I think that you would love that. I would love that, but I can't do it. I don't like it. Okay. Next question. Well, it was worth a shot. Alright. He's gonna sleep through the night soon. I just know it. So- I just want to say on the same boob schedule as him. Okay. I think- I do think it's probably best if my parents don't say- Gosh, Nate, this is looking like we don't talk off podcasts. We talk off podcasts, okay, people. We just change our mind all the time. We change our mind- We actually change our mind- Actually, just for fun sometimes because we talk so much, we just rehab the same conversation. That's actually what we're doing right now is we're having the same conversation that we've had like three times. Literally, you do that to me all the time. You just come through and be like, so what if? And then it's like the same thing that we just had like a conversation about the day before. Yeah. And we just- And we just redo the same thing. I'm an indecisive guy, you know? I like to- And then sometimes I have to break the script. I'm like, hey, wait. You do know that we have this whole conversation yesterday, right? And you're like, yeah. So, we just do that for fun.

56:29What are you leaning towards with my parents? Let them stay as far as- Let them stay at our house. We've literally not done anything that we said. So why would we take this- I'm vetoing that. Err, nope. So what? I think they should stay with your parents. I got hot. Well. Unless they want to wake up with our kids. Unless we should just like- Maybe- But that's the thing. My mom's gonna want to sleep it. Like when she's at our house, she wants to be on vacation. So she's not gonna want to get up at like six. She's gonna want to get up at like eight, you know? Like so then there's gonna be no sleeping in. If my parents could like be with her kids for two hours so we could get some extra sleep, then I would be like, stay right out. I don't know where to try my- I will not be sleeping. I can't- I wake up. I'm ready for the day. I love sleep. I know you do. I love it so much. If I'm sleep deprived, I'm just sad. Yeah. I've seen it in you. It's awful.

57:30I'm sorry, but can we talk about the night feedings with you feeding the bottle? What? I'm just kidding. Wait, what does it feel like? Pins and needles? Yeah. Do you feel like a rush of just like- It's a really hard feeling to describe. Like did they- Do you feel them getting like- Also, when your milk comes in, where's the milk coming from? Because I thought the milk was made in your breast. So like where else is it- It's pretty somewhere else and then it's transported. That's so crazy that you can- I actually don't know what the story behind all that. And it just hurts right now. It just like- It's hard to- It's a really hard feeling to describe. It feels like this- That feeling. You ever hear it? Like is it like- No. You know how like if the water gets turned back on in a building? You're eating a pom- It's like a shh- Yeah, no, that's a how it works. Okay, that would be pretty cool if you could hear the rush of milk. Um. What was I talking about? No, Abby says it feels like a wind up toy. Like it's like, eh, and that's pretty accurate.

58:31You're like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. You know what I mean? What was I talking about? Oh, the night feedings. Night feedings, yeah. Can we make a new rule? What's the new rule? Wait, no. Don't say anything that's not nice. Not saying that's nice. No farting, there's- Oh. That's pretty good. So stupid, but- But you don't say anything, Anna. He's already beaten down. Wait here, here's what's not fair is when I fart, you're like- Okay, I just thought- But you don't need to do that. You're just disgusting. Don't fart and then our kids fart. You're like, that's so cute. Do you know they just farted? It's so funny. That's hilarious. And I give you credit for them. I'm like, you get that from your dad. Yep, sure daddy. And I feel when they do it. Yeah. I just can't be sitting there- That's farting discrimination right there. Sitting there pumping and looking at you- Just holding your baby, you're bottle leaning over. Like that's just-

59:32Let me ask you this, when you fart, what do I do? What do I do? I never do that. Yeah, you do. Of course you do. I'm like high five. I'm like, high five. High five. I mean, I can't give- I could not possibly give them any high fives in the day. Maybe if you could just try it for every once in a while. How many bottles also do I see when you're like- Here's what's impressive. How do you like- Somehow you're able to pump and read your Kindle at the same time. When I'm giving them a bottle- You're good, bro. I am not. There's no extra hand for me to read my book while I'm giving- I couldn't know I'm giving a bottle. Giving a bottle, like I only do a pump-ing. But then don't you read your book when you breastfeed too? Yeah, just like this. How do you- What in the world? Yeah, because I'm not using a hand to give a bottle. It's my boob, man. Yeah, just right. I don't have to hold that. Anyway, I stand by my idea of- of you sleeping longer than I am doing a bottle. I think that would be a great idea. For both the right- Only because we're in a very unique circumstance where you have

1:00:35the mother load of breast milk. Which is why I need a pump. That's true. If you- If you did have like- I got my thighs- Twice the first time, I didn't get it the second time and I followed these rules. Got it. Okay. Okay. Anyway, it's going well. I would say we're having fun. I like seeing you all throughout the night. I love that for you. I'm just sitting there just like- Basically, you know what- And I'm like this is love. This is marriage. Me wanting to just change up our routine in the night. Really, it's just for my love for our three and four-year-old. Because they've been begging- We told them that after the first week, I'd see it to spend the night with them in their room. I still haven't done it. It is breaking my heart. It was a bad one. That's what our kids say. It's breaking my heart. But it's so cute. They have been coming in- Like, still, I tell them that I can sleep with them when they're light-screen in the morning. And that's like- That means it's 6.45 and they can come get- Come into our room. They don't really do that. Well, Griffin does. Griffin every morning says, Dad, the light-screen come sleep with me and so then we go cuddle in his bed. Oh, yeah.

1:01:35But that's after he's come out. Because I'm usually- Yeah. I'm usually out of the room by then. Yeah. And they've come out multiple times. That's okay. No, they don't come out because then they're going to lose their privilege. Sometimes I'm like- We need to force that- I hope I don't see you. We need to enforce that. We got to enforce that more. Yeah, I would say we definitely are not strict parents. Thank you to high-efer sponsoring this portion of today's episode. I think we speak for most parents of toddlers. When we say we are buckling up and already not just about six season coming up. As parents, we just wanted to make sure that we're doing what we can to help boost our kids' immune systems. Especially now that our kids are in preschool. And that's exactly why we love Haya and include it in our daily routine as parents. Quick, easy, pairs great with breakfast or the car ride to school. And helps us brace for the onslaught of six season. Haya's entire suite of products help support growing bodies. But I especially love their kids' daily multivitamin. Haya, they get their own little jars that they get to decorate.

1:02:37And our kids personally love the Marvel one. And if bedtime battles and restless nights are keeping you and your kids up at night, adding a magnesium-based vitamin might be the key. Haya's kids' bedtime essentials is a total game changer. It's not a sleep aid. It's a non-habit-forming chewable with L-theanine B6, GABA, and chamomile flower extract. Plus, magnesium and calcium that helps kids relax before bed so they can wake up rejuvenated and refreshed. No synthetic hormones like melatonin just calm support to help them recharge. We've worked at a special deal with Haya, receive 50% off your first order on any of their products. To claim this deal, you must go to hayahealth.com slash unplanned. This deal is not available on the regular website. Go to hyahelth.com slash unplanned and get your kids the full body support they deserve. Adi brought up a really good point. The logistics of loading three kids in a car. We kind of crushed that system. Yeah. I would say. Yeah. Okay, so first of all, the duna really helps because honestly the newborn is the easiest to get in there.

1:03:40Just, psh, in there. Then we had to teach our oldest to be able to buckle himself. He can buckle himself and he can unbuckle himself and he can unbuckle his younger brother. Yeah. He can't buckle his younger brother. He cannot. So that's the only thing we have to do. We have to strap the newborn, or like get the newborn in. Go around the other side. Buckle our middle child and then get in. Now it does take some time, but I feel like we've, it's gotten smooth really fast. Because we thought in advance. We're like, we have to teach him to buckle into not, or teach him to buckle and then not unbuckle at an inappropriate time. He was really good with that. I'm wondering how our seconds going to do with that. Yeah. Really good. Well, we all know I was going to do with that because he has a buckle. There was a time we were on the highway. And he's like, stop the car. And we're like, what's going on? And he's like, I'm unbuckle. I'm like, oh my gosh. I mean, that's the rule. If something happens immediately pull over right away.

1:04:41Yeah. And so he learned like, this is something, mom and dad, take really seriously. Very seriously. Literally pulled over on the highway. You're not unbuckled in our vehicle ever. Yeah. And so he's done it like a couple times. And we immediately pull over. More than twice. Well, I mean, I literally pulled over in our neighborhood. Has he done it with just you? Yeah. Because he's done it with just me. He does tell me and he goes, stop the car. And then of course, our first is really getting started. He's like, it's an emergency. It's an emergency. It's an emergency. And so yeah, um, he had to teach our kids how to do some things independently. They are so good at doing things independently now. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I had to think in advance. I will say now that we have a three-row vehicle. It's just crazy like the, the psychology of it. Like I thought, I thought our, our Tesla model why it was like very spacious and all that. And I get in that thing and it feels like a clown car now. Like it just doesn't feel. It feels small. It feels, I think the main difference is really just your head

1:05:42to the ceiling. Makes a big difference of like the feel of the car. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. So getting out, getting out the door though with three kids has been, that's really feels tricky sometimes. All the things you need, does everybody have shoes, does everybody have clothes on? Like what do we, do we have snacks? Does everybody have a water bottle? Like that, the logistics, if all the things we need for, on top of all the things we need for the baby is feeling a little heavy. You know, my, my thing. I feel like we make a million trips in and out of that house. I know, I find it like easier sometimes if you forget snacks. Like if there's a pretzel shop close by, I'll just get, you know, pretzel nuggets and we'll all split them. You just get the snacks that you like. Either that or then our kids will raid our friend snacks. No, but I've gotten better. I anytime we go out, like when we go to the aquarium, you're good now you bring snacks. I pack snacks, I do pack snacks. Also something, something that we're very excited about

1:06:45that's happening tonight, you guys, is we're going on our, on our first ever date since, uh, since everything. Since Abby pushed a baby out. So we're very excited. Just kidding, we want to brunch. We did a day date. This is a night date. Okay, our first ever night date. And I think we might, we might, we might be going to get sushi and wine, which is awesome. Yeah, because it's been a minute. It's been a minute. It's been a minute. Fisher is certainly coming with us. Yeah. But, um, you know, he's a great third wheel. Totally. And it'll be fun. Yeah, I'm so excited to have sushi again in a glass of wine. Oh, I'm not even like a wine girl, but something about it, after you haven't had it for so long, it really sounds great. You're funny because you have one glass of wine and, and your tips. I know it's in my head. I know it's in my head, but I, I do think there's something, I mean, your body just isn't used to it because you, you just don't ever have wine. So I think that's a big part of it. Is it or is it? Oh, my head. It's a big size. I think it's, you're such a little lady.

1:07:47So that's part of it. You're that little. You're, you're tiny. You're, you're five two. That's a big girl. I think it's because I went on a walk. That really got my circadian skill. Yeah, that's good. Walks the past couple days. Now that I can walk and I don't feel like I'm in pain and it's going to slow down my recovery. I just can't wait to like work out again now. I know. I'm guys, I'm not even kidding you. Abby is like such an animal in the gym. She just, she just, she's so fit and so good at like working out. But all my friends are stronger. I'm trying, that's not true. I'm trying, I've been trying to like go to the gym because I just know that like, Abby is about to unleash something. I will. That's the thing. You will. Yeah. I'm going to try to go to the gym as much as I can with you. When you, that's the thing that you learned through pregnancy though in my opinion, maybe out of you feel the same way. But like when you've been pregnant and then you're not pregnant anymore, you're like, I will never take for granted the fact that I can lift heavy things.

1:08:48I can jump. I can run. I can do these things. You'll never take it for granted again. I'm probably frustrating her pregnancy. I feel like, wow, I took that for granted. I took for granted. Took that for granted. We'll never do that again. We will never do that again. And that's what, I mean, it's like, you, it's, it's good to slow down during pregnancy to, you know, make accommodations for your body so you can grow this baby. But then afterwards you're like, I will never take for granted that I can do activities. And so then when I've been pent up for so long, it feels so good to get back in the gym. That's why I honestly need, that's why I love burn too because I know that they will pace me. They mark on your thing that you're like postpartum and then they will hold you accountable, which is good because I do need someone to kind of be like, hey, easy, easy there, you know? I love that. Yeah. I even think my abs will... You look so good. You have, you had a baby three weeks ago. You literally had... You're too nice. A, like, you know, you just had a nine month pregnant belly

1:09:52three weeks ago. And now you don't even look like you were ever pregnant. That's not true, but thank you. That, you look incredible. This is why we're loose things. You look incredible. I don't know how you did it. No, I were loose things honestly just because I'm just, I'm really not sure what's gonna fit and I'm not ready to spiral trying to figure out what's gonna fit. So we're just gonna wear the same things that were while it's pregnant. Didn't you say that last time you ended up like buying a lot of new clothes, but then they only fit you for a little bit of time because then you just weren't able to wear them. Yeah, I think at about like two or three months last time, I like, no, not even, maybe like two months. Okay. You bought a lot of new clothes. I bought a lot of new clothes because I was like, I'm never gonna fit in anything ever again. And then I didn't fit in those new clothes a couple months after that. And then I had to get rid of them. Why did you just keep them for now? Wow, such a good question. Well, I also think that at this point, we put as part of every time we thought we were done having kids. Oh my god. I think you were like, I think you just get rid of stuff. Like you and your mom are like really good.

1:10:52This is actually a good thing because I like it because- I've already gotten rid of a bunch, like a bunch of maternity clothes, Matt, just so you know. Really? Yeah. No way. Should I not? I mean, it's fine. It's all good. I mean like, what are you like? What are you like? Yeah, me like that. Like I love that you're not a hoarder. I think you'd really bother me if you were a hoarder. You actually call me a hoarder sometimes. No, you're not a hoarder. You're just a, you're a clutter guy. You're a pile guy. I find little piles. Oh. You're not a hoarder. You could say it. My arcarage has been, I got arcarage completely clean and then I started making the whole thing. No, Matt, this is why. Arcarage is kind of a clutterer. You're first, yeah, your version of cleaning is taking everything out and it's just not practical. Gotta help me. You just need to put like a shelf up and then we can, you're like, we just need to clean it. So gotta be able to literally everything. What our garage does need is it needs the ceiling, like storage where you can have boxes on the ceiling. That sounds miserable.

1:11:52How will I ever reach that? Because you just take a screwdriver. There's like a thing and you can screw driver. You take the screwdriver and you put it into the little spinny thingy and then it makes the whole mechanism lower. So it's like a, it like lower, it raises in lowers. With a screwdriver? Yeah, I'll show it to you a little bit. We have enough? Yes, we have a screwdriver. Anyway, yeah, I really, that is something that's so true. I cannot wait to go shopping. What are you gonna go shopping for? I don't know. I just really want new clothes. Nothing like being pregnant for nine months and then being postpartum to just make it itchy to just get new things. Cause you know, you kind of wear the same few things over and over at the end because it's all that fits and all that feels comfortable. I feel like we've entered into a really fun stage of parenthood. I think it's like so nice having, having a newborn when you have older kids to know what is going to, like what everything's going to turn into. It's just so sweet.

1:12:53And he's so sweet too. Even just like when he looks in our eyes, he's like, it's like he's trying to figure us out. Just like we're trying to figure him out. Like we're like, what does he like? What does he like today? I was like, maybe he doesn't like being swaddled because he does like his arms up. And then I might try to, cause like you know, we've done this before, but also we're trying to get to know him like specifically. And he's trying to get to know us. I feel like he just like looks in our eyes and he's just like, I've heard this voice for so long. And he's like, now I get to see you. It's sweet. He is so sweet. Such a precious little guy. And the boys love him. They always asked to hold him, which is hard sometimes. Cause you're like, you're really not sure how to hold the baby very well. So we're like trying to like help them. And they're like, let go of your hands. And we're like, oh, you can't just hold them on your own. So it's really sweet. And I just can't wait to see like their relationship grow with him. And this has been a really sweet season.

1:13:54You need to go feed him right now? Yeah, probably. Oh, yeah. So your milk came in because it's time to feed him. No, that's the funny thing. Really? You're the time you've been milked? I'm still trying to figure out. It just, it gets a little trigger happy sometimes. It'll figure out what I need to do that more. But right now it's at the point where it's just going to do a random let down at any point. If I hold the bait, like if I wear him, like if I'm baby wearing Fisher, I will have so many more let downs that if I can my body is just like feed the baby, feed the baby, feed the baby. And I'm like, no, if I hold him, if I look at him, it's just going to make it happen. That's crazy. Isn't that crazy? That's, yeah, that's insane. It's pretty cool. Your body is able to do some incredible things. It's pretty cool. Yeah. You're an incredible woman. Hey, you know what? You're a great, you're great. You like talking about how the newborn stage is hard all the time. But what you failed to talk about is how good you are at the newborn stage, especially for being a man.

1:14:55What, like what do you mean by that? Like you're limited by what you can do. Like you can't feed the baby. You also are like, I feel like most dads are like hands off with like little babies. Like they're freaked out. You are the newborn guy. Like you are honestly, I feel like our babies prefer you, even though I'm the one with the milk. Like you're so good at knowing how to calm them. You're so good at swaddling them. You're so good at burping them. You're so good at knowing like what they need and just jumping in and doing it. Like you have so much confidence too as a dad, especially with a dad with a newborn. You're so sweet. Like you're so good at it. I'm like, I feel like people don't understand like listening to our show like how good you are with babies. Like you're insanely good with them. Thanks, baby. You don't give yourself enough credit. And so then that's why it's like easier for me to like get back up on my feet, post part and then do things because it's like, I'm not, I would never be able to like brush my hair, brush my teeth if I didn't have you like knowing what to do.

1:15:58Like so I could just have that time to just like do simple hygiene things, but even more than that, like I had time to shave my legs and curl my hair today. Like because you know what's up. I will, yeah, first of all, that's so nice that you said that. I will admit like before I was friends with a bunch of other dads, I kind of thought of myself as this like, as this, I was like, I'm pretty, I'm doing pretty good. Like I'm super involved with my kids. You do. I'm doing all this stuff. And then I see how all these other dads are also super involved with their kids and doing all of that. Because we're friends with good people. And I think, I think that's part of it. I think we are friends with really good people, but there's also been this huge shift between like nowadays, most dads, at least from what I've seen are very involved, much more so than they used to be. Yeah. There's this big shift between, you know, the adult men that just want absolutely nothing to do with kids and aren't, aren't about it. And then you have like the adult men that end up becoming

1:17:00fathers and really want that and welcome that and fully take on all of that. Because like a lot of my close friends, they're like me where, you know, if they work from home, they're taking time out of their work day multiple times from nine to five to play with their kids, feed them, you know, help them go to the bathroom, change diapers if they need to, take them to school, pick them up from school, like doing all these things that dads, you know, 20 years ago just weren't doing. Yeah. So, especially in our grandparents generation, because remember how much even still, oh yeah, I mean, I think I think my grandma's are amazed by Matt, which it's like you are amazing. And I am so grateful. And I think it's good for me to hear that because I'm like, sometimes I do take for granted how good you are with them and how much you're willing to step up and share those duties. Like me doing the bare minimum in front of your grandma, as well. I wouldn't say it's the bare minimum. And then she's like just going on and on about how.

1:18:01Yes, it's sweet. Good, I'm so sweet. She's like, you have no idea how. Like, because I don't think that like, it was common for them into even like, change diapers to do any of those things. Now to be fair, you are not a full-time stay at home, mom. Like you work. I'm also a breadwinner. You're also, yeah, you also make. Look at the roles shifting. You make money, okay? No. We're both, we both work and we're both very involved parents. Yeah, we have a, it's kind of like we share, we share both duties. The responsibilities of work in home, you know? We're good team. Which is good. It's been really fun to be like teammates together. Because then, in both work and at home. Yeah, I think it's really good that our kids get a lot of time with both of us. It's not just all me or all you. Yeah. Which is a privilege. Like a lot of, that's a very unique setup. Usually like people aren't able to like shift schedules around like that or shift duties. And it doesn't make sense to do that. So we're so grateful and it's been so fun. Yeah. It's been so fun.

1:19:02Like, and it's been, it's like already so rewarding. Just like, like, you know, there's not much like that a newborn gives you. But I just am already anticipating like his smiles. But it's like so silly. But even like him gaining weight is like, yay, or like him pooping. We're like, woohoo, he's doing everything right. Like, and I just know that it's just gonna keep getting more and more rewarding. Like a smile, a laugh, like eventually saying mama, sitting up, crawling, like there's just so many things to look forward to. Yeah. And we already know, like it's just just around the corner. You're right. It's sweet. Well, you guys, thank you. If you've made it to this far in the podcast, oh my gosh, thank you. You're like one of the rare groups of people that actually finish the podcast. So thank you. We will have another episode for you guys next week, as always. And if you haven't hit the subscribe button, that would mean so much to us.

1:20:03It's actually over half of the people that listen to our show are not subscribed. So if you could just check to see that you're subscribed, that would be awesome. It's a free way you can support us. And as always, peace out, dudes. Peace.