The Musers- 840; check in on Fake Tiger

0:00I'm Sam Slayton, CEO and co-owner at Sante Center for Healing. For three decades, Sante Center has been providing lasting recovery for addiction. Addiction left untreated is a fatal disease. Sante offers treatment-based, clinical excellence, and compassion, where available now at SanteCenter.com. The following is a KTCK podcast presentation. All that implies, a never-ending ticket-stick smorgasbord. Deliver to you daily in three, two, and one. Tiger Woods, rolled his SUV in Jupiter, Florida, was arrested, and was charged with driving under the influence. We have a phone number for Tiger, so we thought we'd call him this morning to do a wellness check. He was released from jail late Friday night. Let's dial up Tiger's number here and see if he'll answer the phone.

1:02He usually does when we call. This may be the day he doesn't. Tiger? Hey, buddy, are you doing okay? No, I'm not. I'm not doing too well. My whole body hurts. Because I don't know if you saw this or not. But I was in a pretty bad car accident. Yeah, scary. It was very scary. It was like this, this Land Rover came out of nowhere to be up under me and put me in a driver's seat and it then wrecked. That's all you remember? I'm sure to pass. I'm starting to think I can't drive. I can't drive very well. And I was driving for show too. You know, I putt for dough.

2:04I was driving for show. Yeah, we got to stop trying to pass these cars on narrow roads. I know, Craig, but I still only have my permit. I never got my full driver's license. Oh, this isn't going to help. So I know and I just I think there's a few factors that figured into their house. Okay. I think I was a little bit distracted because I had my iPad going and I was watching Paw Patrol. Oh, okay. And then I had another iPad going and I was watching. Oh, we. Uh-huh, man. And then I had my phone out and I was looking down at that because I had a picture of the teeny girl on it. A bikini girl. Wow. The top of her bottom butt crack. So it was screens. It wasn't any sort of substance. A lot of screens going towards you. When I saw the girl in the bikini, yeah, I decided that I wanted to try to do this thing.

3:08That one of my friends told me about them. The playground that makes you feel good. Oh, gosh. And so I reached out and I thought of my dockers and I looked like beep beep. Tigers. But then at that time I'm getting distracted by the bluey thing and then that made me feel guilty. So then I would kind of lose it for a little bit. I had to look at the bikini picture to get back into it again. So I kept going back and forth. Well, you had a lot going on. And then I think the other thing that may have complicated it was on, was I was on about a lot of pain colors. Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Yeah, I take a lot of pain colors because I've had 58 surgeries in the past 20 years. And so I take over, I think it's 32 pain pills a day. Oh my gosh. And but they're shaped like fun stones character.

4:09So it doesn't seem like taking them to that bad. Mm-hmm, that's bad. Yeah. So are they? I swallowed about through a barnier rubble. So right before I got in the car, the cars. So I think that may have been a contributing factor. Yeah, I bet. Yeah, I think so. They got to keep these pressure washer trucks off the road. Well, they're fine. It's just to pick up, pull in a trailer. I know, but it just, it's, it makes it too long to pass. You know, it's not to pass. I'm really scared, guys. I think I'm blowing my chance to be right or tough, Captain. Yeah, you may. I can't take a little Land Rover much less. A right or tough, T. Right. I want my chance. You know what I'm not blowing? What? Any more breathalyzers. Right, you're done with that. Well, no, you did blow, you did blow one, but at least that was a 0.0. I know. I know. I cheated. I cheated the past.

5:09They could smell the paint on my breath. Why don't you just get a driver? You've got zillions of dollars. I have like 50 big burfas already. I don't need another driver. Yeah, George, he's a guy. He's got time to never mind that idea. Well, aside, I'm still setting records since I won my first master's. I think I've had more DUIs and the Cowboys had playoffs plans. Yeah, that's true enough. I'm a good, really good golfer, George. Did you know that? Or used to be at late? It used to be, yeah. I don't want the genetic lottery there. Just wanted all those tournaments and everything. But I guess I also lost the genetic lottery. Also. Because you know, I'm cobbling Asian whenever I get behind the wheel. I guess that's the Asian and cobbling Asian and cobbling out all that. All right. I've seen that meme and it was very, very helpful. You know what? I look at it. This is a positive. That's the way I do it. Because I'm such a champion.

6:10I think I ought to be a stunt driver. I rode four vehicles and walked away from three of them. So yeah. All right. That's one way to look at it. It's very lucky. It's very positive. And you know, who I'm somewhat glad who isn't non-dead anymore. So they can't see me crash these vehicles. Who's that? Oh, you're dead, Earl. He's dead. So we can't see me crash. All right. So that's good. Yeah. You know. Who else I'm glad isn't alive to see me and say all sorts of automotive technology and the pressure washing trucks. Who's that? Oh, come on. Here we go.

7:17He's an American Asian who is once so commonly inobulating that it caused a vodka-swilling service man who was built like a water buffalo to attach a GPS device to the auxiliary maxi pad sewn into her mini skirt so that he could track her down to the bar inside the sole Korean Applebee's where he traveled on a Bethlehem donkey where she spotted him barging in the saloon doors with a knife, flowers, and a box of chocolates and a fistful of condoms. And he chased her out the back pass and opened door-bathroom where Mike Dushy was going number two while reading a playgirl magazine and the camera zoomed in on him for a moment while he grunted before cutting back to the alleyway. Welcome to PETA hopped into a nearby horse-grunt carriage pulled by a client's day. Although it was attached to a hot air balloon and it floated up into the sky while Earl struggled to tie a sheep's shank knot to attach his go-kart to a competing hot air balloon and he chased her over the Himalayas until they landed in an iron cord wheel when he'd been all over a hay baler made some really hard enthusiasm to consent with her. As Mike Dushy finally arrived to see Earl's eyes rolled in the back of his head and he shot PGA into a waiting mommy incubator not much like her. She squat over a pile of bricks and a construction site and fired out a 15-time major wedding rock arc crash and swing his wife. She's in fetus. Oh gosh. A auxiliary maxi pad.

8:19Go-kart made it again. She says he says hi. Oh, okay. Hang in there, tiger. I'm here, honey. We'll see you. Hey there, I'm Paula Pan. I help people make the smartest money decisions possible. Joe, you know what's been great about being a saver? More money, the bank. And that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield. Pre-pandemic money was making zero. Now it's actually making something but that's starting to go down, down, down. I love how we can play the fact that inflation's been really high. And that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield. Pre-pandemic money was making zero. Now it's actually making something but that's starting to go down, down, down. I love how we can play the fact that inflation's been really high. So, you know what's been great about being a saver? More money, the bank. And that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield. Pre-pandemic money was making zero. Now it's actually making something but that's starting to go down, down, down. And that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield.

9:21And that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield. And that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield. And that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield. And that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield. And that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield. And that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield.