The Musers - 840 bit Fake Nolan Ryan

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1:01Every day, the world gets a little weirder and a lot more awesome. Cool stuff daily takes a look at everything from mining in space to the latest in the fight against cancer to how AI is basically changing everything. It's all the cool stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Join us for cool stuff daily as we take a quick look at science, tech and the, wait, let stories that make you sound way smarter at dinner. Subscribe to cool stuff daily now because the future is happening fast and it's way too fun to miss. The baseball season is underway and Ranger's opening day was yesterday, the league kicked

2:13off another season, the leagues, I guess, major league baseball, the two leagues kicked off the day before that. So since it's in full swing, we thought we would talk to one of the legends of the game. Joining us now in the ticket hotline is the former Ranger Great, the Angels Great, the Astros Great, the Metz Great, Nolan Ryan. Good morning. How are you? Good morning, you guys. I'm just sitting around in a breakfast of wild game. So I still got all the food in my mouth, sorry about that, it's meat's kind of tough. What you got this morning? Well, I'm having a barbecue condor legs and insomniated jerky and I'm washing that all down with a tumbler of bullseam and then wow, my gosh, and of course I locally source all

3:13my own food, I killed a kangaroo last night for my supper at local, I didn't need it, I just killed it so I'd eat my supper without being bothered by a kangaroo hopping around me. They have kangaroos in the Houston area? Well, I import them, yeah, I import them to, you know, so I can have them around in case I want to take one, you know, Ruth, she doesn't, nothing like the proof of my being such an outdoorsman, but I don't, you know, I don't hear complaining too much about it because I wear ear protection when I'm around her, so I really cut down the amount of complaints out here. Well, it's just one game, but what do you think of the Rangers this year? Well, Chuck, as you can imagine, I was probably about the biggest Philly fan in the world yesterday.

4:16It's too bad, man, that's not right. I was wearing my Bryce Harper loin cloth and, you know, as I watched the game from my burrow and the unforgiving desertscape of West Texas and I'm out here, but, and I gotta say, it's hard to get reception after in West Texas or game. Really? Yeah, I had an extra set of rabbit ears to the TV to pull in the broadcasts. Of course, then I went ahead and ate the rest of the rabbit, but, I don't know, I think those would work and I would hate to explain streaming to you, it probably has different meaning. Yeah, you know, you know, that's where you're paying for gold, right? Yeah, fine, we'll go with that, yeah. But you know, as you guys know, and a lot of your readers know that the Rangers are cursed because they got rid of me from the front office of that organization, right?

5:19And so I'm real glad that they're already struggling this year. I think, well, maybe this will teach that little bitch John Daniel who will listen by messing with a strikeout later. You hold a grudge, don't you? I do, and you know, and John tried to engineer a coupe to get me out of the Rangers, and he failed miserably. I mean, yeah, he ran me out of there, but, but ever since I'd say I got my private revenge on him, let's just say they haven't been able to keep a pet alive over there at that time. Oh, no. Come on. Well, he's not even with the organization anymore. They sell your hot dogs at the ballpark. I don't think there's any, any riff between them. They do. They do. And that and I always love the Ranger fans. I just take John Daniels, that's why I want the Rangers to keep losing, even though John

6:22is not there. Okay. Well, Ranger fans still love you, so they're probably sad to hear that. They're very sad. Well, I root for the Ranger fans, and I don't play when the world's serious. But I'm a little bit fragile right now, because I'm dealing with a situation that's kind of got out of control and spun out of my control, and I had an incident that was criminal and nature that was visited upon me and that family, I guess who broke into my green silo and stole over $12 million worth of GMO green that was ready for market. Not the snow monkeys. The dank snow monkey. Oh, no. They were right out of the good. They broke in there, and that, because they were, and I don't know why they had to take all the grain, because if what I understand, they were just breaking in to steal the flash

7:29drive that I keep in there with some bikini putt picks, I just keep it in the green silo. Yeah. And they took the pictures of off the flash drive, and they made a promotional calendar out of them, and placed the calendars in the fake tractor store they built to lure me in there, so they could jump on back and get me in one of the level of land. So I went ahead and bought a local snow monkey costume, and then infiltrated their sleeper cells so that I could win them over before I'd lead in them in a snow monkey rebellion against these AI powered drones that we got out here, and I know that they would be annihilated, and then I would dramatically be the only snow monkey still standing as I stood on the wind swept cliff, and dramatically removed my oversized snow monkey, and I revealed

8:31a seven-time no-hitter hurler with stated revenge in his heart, so that's kind of what I've been going through this morning before. Wow. You are really motivated by revenge, aren't you? I am. That's kind of the thing that keeps me going, and keeps me throwing my own version of no-hitter hurler just like to say. I got to go now in that. Okay. We'll have a good day, Nolan. Thanks for the time. Talk baseball, kind of. All right. There he goes. The legend. Nolan Ryan. Every day the world gets a little weirder, and a lot more awesome. Cool stuff daily takes a look at everything from mining and space to the latest in the fight against cancer to how AI is basically changing everything. It's all the cool stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Join us for cool stuff daily as we take a quick look at science, tech, and the wait-what stories that make you sound way smarter at dinner.

9:33Subscribe to cool stuff daily now, because the future is happening fast, and it's way to fun to miss. This is Mike Fowlow of Lexicon Valley. And I'm Bob Garfield. Are you one of those people who sometimes uses words? Do you communicate or acquire information with, you know, language? Hey, us too. So join us on Lexicon Valley to true over the history, culture, and many mysteries of English. Plus, some ice cracks. Join us on one of those apps where people listen to podcasts.