The Invisible Programs Running Your Life

0:00Alright, in today's episode we're going to talk about the invisible programs running your life and until you address these and change these nothing in your life is going to change, right? I'm Coach Mike Bassfick and this is the show for high performers who tried everything else and still can't quiet their own minds. Who am I? A wise shoe list to me. I'm Coach Mike Bassfick. I'm the founder, creator of the anxiety free executive program as part of my Nolamist Nation. For the last 18 years I've done nothing, well I've done other things but I've done, I spent them helping high performing professionals, right? Executives, successful people, eliminate, okay? All of the gremlins in their mind, the anxiety to stress, the overwhelm, the imposter syndrome of depression, you name it, we get rid of it so they could live the life, either enjoy the success they built or live a life that entirely new level of success, right? And much of that work over the years is getting rid of those programmed patterns. I hate to use the word program because it's an

1:03overused self-help term but it's getting rid of these patterns of behavior. And once we do that then big things happen. The patterns of behavior are what we call paradigms. Now what's a paradigm? A paradigm is essentially how you see what you expect from yourself and or the world. We have self paradigms, right? Who am I? What I'm capable of? I'm a shy person, I'm an introvert, I'm an extrovert and we have paradigms about the world, the world's tough place, life's tough then you die, that was what I grew up with, right? And waiting for you at a shoot-and-drop and where do these paradigms come from? Right? They come from our childhood, they come from society. I give you some really good examples in addition to the couple I gave you but those paradigms are running your life. Everything running your life, you're never going to do, there's some facts, there's some things that you have to understand here. If you understand anything about this world, anything about human behavior, anything about your mind, you're never going to outwork your state of

2:05being. If you've got a state of being what I call resistance, inadequacy, insecurity, self-sabotage, look at my life. So you know, you know my story, if you haven't, you should listen to these episodes and understand and I detail it, I book the broken sage man, if you haven't gotten that book yet, what are you doing man? What are you waiting for? This book, this fricking book is epic man and it's not because I wrote it, I lived it and I've changed so many thousands of lives with the exact same form in this book starting with my own but I could promise you man when I held onto these paradigms but the states of being I was moving into, I was in a complete state of being from my conditioning, from my childhood of inadequacy. I never thought I deserved success. So what did I do? I subconsciously self-sabotage it. Can you relate to that one right? It made a hard to work, it made a how much money comes in, it's always going out the door. It made a how nice for a person you are and it made a how great you are, you feel you are in relationships, man, you're always treated like shit. Right? There's some

3:06successful, like really successful like celebrities, right? And you look at the relationships, they're a train wreck and they're interviewed and they say, well I don't know, I'm not sure why. Somewhere inside they're in a state of being that's not in harmony with the outcome they want. So you're never going to outperform or outwork your current state of being and your condition states of being. You're never going to outperform a limiting belief man. If you want to make a million dollars a year and you think that's impossible, you could grind and you could work and you can obsess and you could visualize, you could write pictures and have pictures all over the place and post the notes and shit about you being a millionaire, you're never going to get it. If you don't believe it, you're never going to outwork an outperform a limiting belief, it's impossible. And you're never going to out, out live, outperform, outdo a paradigm. A paradigm is where you see life, the way you see yourself and that's what you're going to experience. So I tell my clients all the time that they're self-fulfilling profits. What do I mean by that? It means very simply what you expect

4:10to happen in your life is going to happen, period in the story. The physical world that we live in is not as real as you think. It is all a byproduct of your inner world, day after day after day. What you believe will happen, what you expect will happen happens. Look at your life. Tell me that that's not true. I'm not talking about what you want to happen. What you want to happen, let's say you're single and you know that you're a good person you want to meet your soulmate. But you're in the state of being of loneliness or lack or you go into, I remember when I was looking my wounds from my divorce and a subsequent relationship with a bunny and a pot girl, if you will, right? You ever see a, what's it called? Fatal attraction. I should put the bunny in the pot. Well this, first, those in a relationship was pre-seller to that, the bunny in the pot girl. I had to get out of it, but I was in a relationship for a while. And after that, man, I was looking my wounds. I'm like, oh my god, the marriage, the divorce, this stuff. And I remember this like shopping and target.

5:13And everybody else seemed to be coupled up with me. I'd go to parties and everybody else had a couple except for I was a single guy, right? And I wasn't a bar guy. I wasn't going to go out and meet girls and stuff. But man, I just, I wanted a relationship. I'm a family guy. I'm not that guy that's going to be out there and just dating and one after another. I'm, you know, in Kelly and I have a wonderful relationship. And, you know, I'm a lucky guy, but I am a lucky guy because I changed my paradigm to believe I'm a lucky guy. And I'll tell you that story in a minute. But I was always in that state like, you know, in that belief that man, there's no good ones out there anymore. Relationships are tough. And I had that life like, but I had to change that. But my life to that point is where all that shit came from. And I had to change. So today, you know, we've talked about the state of being, we'll talk about the state of being again at Nazim. And I lay all this out chapter 13 in a book all about paradigms, all about limiting beliefs, man. And, and he's asked for him how to change him, which we're going to talk about today. But everything you are today is a

6:14by-product of everything you've been through and the way you were raised, man, your childhood. So your political views, your views, like I always tell my clients, race is sound born, they're conditioned. Everything's conditioned. If you think relationships are tough, that's learn behavior. If they think relationships are easy, that's learn behavior. If you think life is tough, learn behavior, life is easy, learn behavior. It's paradigm. And it's all because of your upbringing, your state of being, or what you've experienced. And now you've developed those rigid beliefs, but they're just not true. And you've got to take a look at like, okay, is this paradigm is belief serving me? Or is it not? And if it isn't, then you've got to do something about it. Well, since it's learn behavior through repetition, then maybe we can unlearn it and do something different. Would that make sense? That we're fun that way, right? So think about some of the global paradise we have. And every one of these things you'll relate to. We say, waiting for the other

7:16shoe to drop, right? That's where life's tough and then you die. Don't trust anybody, man, don't get too confident. Life has a way of kicking you and he asks when you're when you're too high. And why do we know that? Because we've experienced it. We expect it. And then we experience it. I don't like Mondays. Mondays, poor Mondays get a bad rap. I love Mondays. I love Tuesday. I love everything. Yeah. I'm not one of those like raw, raw positive speak guys. I hate that shit. Okay. But I am a happy guy. I wasn't a happy guy. Man, I was I was deep down and now as a young person when I was, you know, prior to learning this work, I had a lot of wonderful moments in my life. I was a fun, happy guy. But inside I was a fricking volcano man waiting to erupt. I never felt comfortable. And that was like I'd use humor at that time as a distraction. I was like a at times, man, I was, you know, nutty. And I just I would have fun, man. But then when that

8:18fun was over, I'd go back to that dread. I didn't trust. Man, peace was an imposter. Peace was like suspicious. I never trusted peace. And because I was always waiting for you to shoot a drop, why? Because that's where it was taught. And that's what I would experience. And I would make stupid ass mistakes. But all the paradigms would play out my life. And at that point, I not only hated Mondays. I Sunday afternoon, dread would kick in. And that was learned behavior. That was my paradigm, right? But think about it. I don't like Mondays. There were songs about the Mangles Romantic Monday. Who wrote, I don't like Mondays that song back in the 80s. And everybody like talks about Mondays, almost be a Monday. I got a case of the Mondays, right? And then God, thank God it's Friday. Right? We've been taught. Thank God it's Friday, man. I can't wait to get to the weekend, living for the weekend, right? That's a song. TGIF. There's a whole freaking restaurant brand. Thank God it's Friday. Why? Because we're so miserable during the week because work sucks.

9:18That's what we're taught. That's a paradigm, right? You've got to be, you got to work your ass off for success. You got to pay the price for success. You've got to, you know, never rest. Don't grind someone else's out grinding all ridiculous paradigms that aren't serving you. They're just literally building up now you should work hard. You should put the time in no question. But it's a paradigm, right? If I say the age of 65, paradigm says retirement. Talk to the guy that retired or 48 or the woman that retired at 50, right? They must not believe the paradigm. I'm going to retire early, right? 18, old left of vote. 21 now I'm an adult. I can drink or 18 adult 21 drink, whatever. It's all paradigms, man. And we're like, as soon as you meet somebody, hold you, right? We want to go to age. Oh, you're eight. Oh my God, you're 50. Yeah. Life, you know, this 50s, new 30s, or whatever. Okay. We're littered with paradigms, right? And I just don't, I don't trust relationships. I don't, uh, money is hard. I think about the paradigms over money that we're taught, man.

10:23Money is the root of all evil. You know, you've got to, you've got to work hard for money. Don't trust people. If it's free, it's too good to be free. This podcast is free. All right. It's, there's no strings attached here, man. Yeah, we want you to, if you need help to reach out to us. And of course, uh, we'll talk about that. But that's free. There's no strings attached here. You don't really have to opt in anything. You just hit play and listen. So maybe it's not too good if something's, you know, free. But we're taught that way. And we're taught, don't trust. And families, how many millions of families are broken up over the estate. I've got a lot of financial advisors in my program. I hear these horror stories all the time. And I've seen these horror stories all the time. And these families just break up, man, over money and bullshit and, and people lose their eff in mind, date line, watch the date line episodes, right? And 90% of them are over money. Money or affairs, but even the affairs are usually tied in the money. And, but it's always money. And that's a paradigm, man. And, uh, but money is energy like anything else. So what if money

11:25just flowed? What if money was easy? And as soon as I say, man, money's easy, it could flow. You can make whatever you'd like to make or you can have that dream life. You're right away. Your my goes, no, you can't know you can't because I've been there. I've done it. And you hang on to those fricking paradigms and the animals fricking beliefs like their gospel, they're not. They're learned behavior. So you've got to start changing the paradigm, right? And think of be a more about money, you know, look at who the bad person is, right? And every Disney movie ever made, not every Disney movie ever made. But you think about the villain. It's always the wealthy person. It's always the king or the prince or, you know, I think Corella de Villan 101 Dalmatians, I think she had a ton of money. And how about it? It's a wonderful life. In my opinion, probably the finest Christmas movie ever made. There's a biopic coming out on Jimmy Stewart. And they that centered around that movie like his after the war and how he was battling depression. He made that movie. Can't wait to see it. There's another one. I play Rocky coming out. My guy, I'm excited

12:29for that because Rocky, this guy was living in his car. He had no money. He had his cell as dog. The dog you see in Rocky, that was a dog he sold. And he bought the dog back. And they offered 250,000 for that script. And he's, no, I play Rocky. That's the thing. And he wouldn't sell it. And look what happened there. Anyway, I digress. But you look at some wonderful life. And Mr. Potter, the richest guy in town, the biggest, you know, Jaggentown, the prick, right? The Villan, you know, Mr. Potter. It's, you know, dirty little grubby fingers out of his, George Bailey said. But we've all, we've been conditioned to think that money is a certain thing. Well, talk to successful people, talk to philanthropists, talk to people that have money and give money, and volunteer their time and do good with that money. They would say, money's easy, man. It's a paradigm. It's a belief. And if you want more money, then you've got to change your paradigm. If you've gotten, if you want better relationships or a relationship in general, you're going to change your belief. You're going to change your paradigm. If you want to start

13:32thinking that life is easy, then you better change it. Now, how do we do all that? We started, we do it the same way that we did the first thing. We've got to change what we're feeding our mind. The repetitious statements, the dialogue, the stories. We've got to start changing that stuff. I was talking to a client yesterday. And she's in the program, just got here. She's new in our community. But, you know, she's so glued to her circumstances, man. And her relationship, that's not great. And her finances that are so so. And she just grew up with this tremendous inadequacy. Family was what they would call a broken family. And just had a wonderful person, great personality, good looking human being, and yet feels completely inadequate. She doesn't deserve anything. And so I said, are you doing the work? Yeah, but, I said, yeah, but what? Yeah, but I'm still sad. Yeah, but I still am experiencing lack. Yeah, but I'm

14:38still like, don't know what to do here. And I said, well, have you made any progress yet? And she says, I have, but I said, stop the butt. Everything after butt is white noise to me. Have you made progress? Yes. I said, what if you start changing the words that you're speaking? Because the words you're speaking are you're speaking it to your subconscious mind and the subconscious mind becomes it. Yeah, but I'm still sad. Subconscious mind is just sure. I'll give you more sad. And this remember what I talked about in that episode? The subconscious mind has no opinion, has no judgment. It's going to do what you consistently trained at doing what you believe about yourself. So this person just believes that it's difficult to get rid of it and believes that that's there's a lot in life. And I said, well, what if you start saying that you're terrific every day? So why don't I lie? I said, why? You lied your entire life. You're a fine human being. You're a good person. You got good morals, good character. You're hardworking. You keep yourself in shape. You're doing everything right that you believe in life, but you kept telling yourself that you're

15:38no good. And you kept telling your mind that you're no good. You kept obsessing about your mistakes. You kept revisiting your mistakes. And you kept keep that dialogue going. Right? And it wasn't true. You can make a mistake. It still be a great person. Every person makes mistakes. I was the king of making mistakes. Deep down I was a good person. It's a good person. I was doing really stupid things back in resistance, but and you kept telling yourself that story, kept telling yourself that story. Were you telling the truth? And she was well, no. I said, well, that's how you got to the paradigms and the beliefs you got to now and the states of being. So how about this story? Are you getting better? Have you? Are you better than you were last week? She says, yep. I said, are you better than you were two weeks ago? Even every issue is I am. I said, so how about this? Why ask you how the work's going? It's going well and I'm getting better every day. So you start teaching your mind at every day and guess what the mind's going to do? Okay, we're getting better every day. Getting better every day. The mind is the machine that runs you. I know

16:40you think that your mind is you. It's not. It's a machine that runs you based on the training you've given it. So everything that's housed in there, your beliefs, the words you speak, your paradigms, your states of being, everything that you're experiencing in your life that's playing on your physical world, it's all learned behavior. So we got to teach you in a way. So how about that story? She said, okay, I can buy you that story. How's the how's the work going? Good. I'm getting better every day. I said, you should walk around saying that all day long and anything else. If you think relationships are tough, find examples. Right? Show your subconscious mind. We'll look at that relationship. That's a good one. Look at that relationship. It's a good one. You know, I said, I was at a one of my live events last year. We got together with the group after the event. And this woman came up to me that's a long time client and she was like, I marvel at you and Kelly of how much you love each other and how like dynamic you guys are and all that stuff. And she goes, man, she goes, I envy that. And I said, yeah, you should have seen me 20 years ago when I couldn't,

17:48you know, sustain a good relationship. And I said, it's all learned behavior. I had to change me in order to have relationships like I have now. I had to change my state of being. I had to change my beliefs and to change my parents. That's the key to this whole deal, guys. Everyone's living in the circumstances, even though the circumstances are byproduct of the person you've been up to this point. So you got a choice now. Stay consumed by the circumstances. Keep living in it like I was, read chapter four in the broken sage guys, read chapter four, you'll be, man, this guy was a shit show. But I was consumed with my circumstances. And everything had happened up to that point my entire life. And then when I realized life was an inside job, then I started to change all that stuff and I changed the paradigms. And I just taught my mind with repetition. Now one thing I had to go through, so every month it was to struggle to survive at that point. And every month I'd be like, man, I'm gonna make it all up. But then I realized I make it every month. I figure out a way. I get creative. I do whatever I have to do, but I figure out a way. And as I started to do this work, when my mind

18:52started to clear, I had this thought one day. I went from a struggle every month. It's a struggle. Life's tough. I went to, I started to realize that man, you, you, you make it every month. You figured out so way not change that story. Like, hey, you always find a way. So my consistent belief paradigm started to be like, you know, you always find a way. So every time I'm mind through that up to me, I would accept my state of being. And then I would say, you know, you always find a way. That's all right. We'll find a way we always do. Everything always works out. It always does. And I said it a thousand times a day. I'd walk around like, yeah, every time I was saying, oh my God, my God, get that bill coming at daddy at child support. You get that? Yeah. I always find a way. I always find a way. And guess what? I always found a way. And I was a self-fulfilling prophet. Then things started to go my way a little bit by a little bit. And I thought, you know what? Everything goes my way. Everything's fine. Everything's going to be okay. And and now I know

19:54the things started to go my way. And everything, everything works out. There's a sign right behind me. I picked up a pure one in like 2007. That says not to spoil the ending, but everything's going to be fine. And I started to train my mind that obsessively all day long. I'd walk around saying it. And then things continued to go my way. And I started to get some good luck. And I was doing this work obsessively. Stuff I teach all my clients now. And everything was getting better and better. I said, you know, life's getting easier. I started that one. I said, things are going my way. And I started to get lucky. And I'm a lucky guy. And I put a penny in my pocket as a reminder of my new paradigm that I'm a lucky guy. And I'd walk around all day like, man, life is easy. I'm blessed. I'm so grateful for this life. Things go my way. And I'm a lucky guy. Now, my lucky every day, no, but I'm blessed every day. I have been since then, you know, why? Because I've got a beautiful, wonderful wife that is healthy. And I'm healthy. My kids are,

20:59our kids are healthy. Five kids we've got, yeah, we got challenges. I run a business. We've got life. We got five kids. We got challenges like everyone else. You're never going to be void of challenges. But I just said that over and over and over again. And even when I met Kelly, you know, she, you know, we're a dribble concert one time. She was whenever I'd find parking, I said, things work out for me. I'm a lucky guy. And she laughed and we got the parking right on the front. And she said, man, and into this day, I carry this coin. Those are on video, see it, but it says no limits on the front and luck magnifying the back. And that's why a reminder of my paradigm, right? And that's the sense you would it is guys. It doesn't take this act of God or, or, you know, a EMDR or shock therapy to change a belief and change a paradigm. It takes repetition. And I know when you say it, you're not going to believe it. If you're overwhelmed and you know, my schedule is easier, life's getting easier. Your mind's going to say, no, it's not. You're full of shit. Mine did too. And, but your mind has taken direction from you. So it's only doing what you

21:59trained it to do. Start to train it another way. And that's what I did. And I walked around obsessively, you know, man, things are growing my way. Life is easier. I love life. And I'm a lucky guy. And I have been I've been blessed. This is my final day on earth. I got more to do. So let's hope that. But a bit of lucky guy and everything I'm blessed. And that's the perspective I've developed. And I've had challenges in my life just like anyone else. And I move through those challenges. And I'm just so grateful and blessed for this life. And when you read the book, when you hear my story in detail, you say, you know, he had bad luck. Because that was what I believed. That was my paradigm. So that's my, you know, my transformation to this work. And I said, you're never going to hear me speak words that are not in line with that last year. You know, I lost my mom and she was older, right? And it was her time. And it was very sad. But the next day with some of us, Mike, how you doing? It's terrific.

23:01How you doing, man? Wonderful. You're never going to hear me speak words that I don't want to live. And I believe when I say, I'm not just pretensing, I'm terrific. Now, initially, I was. Because I didn't believe it. But I kept saying it. And I kept repeating it to my mind. I was teaching my mind a new narrative, a new paradigm. And then 10 days later, after my mom passed last year, one of my best friends, my dearest friend, girl passed away. He had brain cancer. He had diagnosed in January, died in June. I was as bedside the day before he left. And I was very sad. But I could promise in the next day, I felt grateful. I felt like, yeah, I'm terrific. But sad. I could be sad. I lost my friend. And I missed him to this day. He was the funniest human being that I've ever known. And I miss him every single day. But I'm still terrific. I'm still wonderful. I'm grateful. I got, you know, 15 years of friendship with that guy. And, um, I'm terrific. I'd never speak words. And you think about another thing that people do. How you doing? I'm hanging in there. Oh God. Because you got one little problem or two little problems

24:06in your life. Or maybe they're big problems. I'm hanging in there when I get through this. Then I'm going to be good. No, you won't. Because you're going to find something else to be through. Or I'm okay. Because you got one thing in your mind. And God forbid you say I'm terrific when, you know, the day after your mom passed your day, or you could be sad. And you could be terrific. Right? You've got a great life. But you've got a challenge. You're going to throw your whole life away because of a challenge. No. Don't speak the garbage. It's vile. Okay. Don't do it. Because you're developing beliefs. You're developing paradigms. You are a self-fulfilling profit. And I'm not talking about this rar rar positive bullshit that people do. I'm talking about a system of repetition, a system of belief that you're developing and you're creating new paradigms. And once you get that paradigm, then you're going to live it. And I'm proof of that, and I'm telling you, every day I've got challenges, a business owner. I was just talking to my team earlier today about something we've got to fix in the business. Okay, great. We'll get to fix. I promise you, I'm the calmest guy in the world when we have a challenge in the business. And my

25:07team says, how do you stay so calm? When my book got pulled off Amazon because I thought we violated something, my team's freaking out. I'm like, guys, we'll get it back up there. It's obviously something and we find out what they think we did and we didn't do it wrong. And it took us about eight weeks, six weeks eight weeks to get it up there and I didn't lose an ounce of happiness. I knew it would be and the book was still flying off our shelves. Before we even done any PR, we sold 2,000 these books. It's a really good book. And our clients are coming back and buying 10 copies. 15, what does that tell you? So I say, guys, I love Amazon. And it's a necessary tool, but this book's going to be successful with or without Amazon. That's my mindset. That's my paradigm. So you've got to take a look at it, guys. And yeah, the same shit that you speak about every day, I'm okay. Yeah. Yeah. Hang in there. Oh, God. Vomit. And when I hear people say that I'm on a vomit, I'm like, you're terrific, man. You've got to, you know, I told my clients, look at your life. Your kids are healthy. You've

26:10got money. You've got, you know, you're better than that. Stop feeding a bullshit paradigm. Your mind every day. And that's the key, guys. So you've got to take stock. Life is inside John, just a recent episode on that. Hopefully you'll listen to that one as well. But I could tell you guys, you changed the paradigms to repetition. You identify a paradigm that might be limiting or not and line with what you want to leave. And it could be a belief as well. And you change a quick story like I did. Man, things go my way. Life is easy, right? I'm a lucky guy. And because I didn't believe it yet, I put a penny in my pocket. Now it's a gold coin that says luck magnet on there. And yes, when I play golf, it's my ballmark. Unless there's a ball behind me, there's a flat one. But it's my ballmark. It's a constant reminder of the paradigm that I want to live. And when you go back to that, you are a happy guy. You are a happy, you know, life is easy. You are a lucky guy. And that's what we need to do. Your paradigms are not rigid. Your beliefs

27:11are not rigid. If you have one that's not in line with the life you want to live, the person you want to be dropped to ego, make changes. And that's the other thing we do. We have ego. So we're going to guard ourselves, man. Yeah, there's just no good people out there anymore. Bullshit. There's somebody out there praying for somebody like you in a relationship. You've got to get yourself to that place. That place I call acceptance, that place of freedom. And your beliefs and paradigms have to match what you want. Or you're never going to experience it, guys. I can promise you you never you're defying universal energetic law. You can't do it. But guess what? When you change your paradigm, when you change your belief, when you get in a high vibrational state of being of acceptance, that I come flying towards you, you can't not have what you want. We're living in this beautiful, wonderful, cooperative environment, this field of energy that must obey you. It has to respond. So when you commit to your paradigms and changing those through repetition, your belief

28:12changing those like, you know, be coming up with the belief like I did. And like, you know, thousands of my clients have done, you're going to experience it, your physical world of ketchup. All right, guys, so I hope you enjoyed this episode. You better hit the like button. You better hit the share button. You better at the subscribe button. I'll be at your door and I'll find you. I won't. Is that how I'm going to find him? Just kidding. But do it because it's good stuff. Do it because you learned. All right, guys, coach Mike here. I'll see you in the next episode. All right, that's the episode. If something in there hit home with you, here's what to do. First, hit subscribe so you don't miss the next episode. Next, check out the show notes or YouTube description because my team puts all the links mentioned from today's episodes in there. As well as ways we could help you behind this episode.