The Hidden Mechanics of Self-Sabotage

Why do so many of us self-sabotage right when we're on the verge of success? Bands break up right after getting signed. Entrepreneurs burn out the moment they hit their goal. Athletes choke when they realize they're winning. In this episode, Joe and Brett explore the surprising mechanics behind the fear of success — and why it turns out to be nearly identical to the fear of failure.

Brett opens with a personal story from a base jumping world championship where he realized mid-competition he was winning — and immediately couldn't hit the target again. From there, they unpack what's actually happening in the head, heart, and nervous system when we get close to what we want, and why expanding your capacity to feel is the real key to sustainable success.

Together, they explore:

• Why bands often break up right after getting signed
• The identity crisis that gets triggered by winning
• Why success and failure are both states of nervous system arousal
• The window of tolerance — and why too much pleasure can feel as threatening as too much pain
• How the same emotional avoidance shows up on both sides of a decision
• Why billionaires often burn out and can't get out of their pajamas
• Letting success obliterate identity (instead of inflating it)
• "Don't let success go to your head" vs. fully feeling success in your body
• Clean fuel vs. dirty fuel — letting in the reinforcement loop of why you do the work
• Why fear of success is really fear of life
• The difference between humility as smallness and humility as a deep bow
• Concrete practices: visualizing both complete failure and complete success, emotional inquiry on the avoided feeling, expanding your nervous system's capacity for pleasurable arousal, and deconstructing who you think you'll be on the other side

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