The Hidden Childhood Pattern Blocking Your Growth (Chapter 3 from When Sex Meets God: Mixed Messages)

0:00Welcome to DOS of Depth Podcast. I'm your host, Deborah Lucovic, and I invite you to explore what's beneath the surface of all sorts of things, including your own life. Through conversation, stories, and education, you'll see what you couldn't see before. Find new meaning in all events, and even discover a new sense of purpose out there in the world. Get started. Hey there, it's Deborah Lucovic, author of When Sex meets God, A Midlife Unraveling. And in this video, I want to talk a little bit about chapter three of my book titled Mixed Messages. And this is really about understanding the root of the decisions and choices that you make, in your reactions and your responses to life events. So in youngy and terms,

1:04their depth psychology perspective, we are looking at our parental complexes. And complexes aren't good or bad, they're just patterns, patterns of reacting and responding and what emotions are involved. And even from a neuroscience perspective, many of our core beliefs and these patterns are deep in our unconscious. And even science affirms that up to 90% of who we are on a daily basis, how we live life is influenced by unconscious forces. So in this chapter, I'm revealing a little bit of what were some of the messages that I received as a child. And so again, I'd love some engagement. So it'd be great if you shared, you know, what do you think are the main messages that you absorbed as a child? And then we'll talk

2:05later about how did that form into a pattern. And sometimes eventually some of these patterns don't work anymore and they actually become your glass ceiling. So I thought I'd read just a little bit and I'm going to start in the middle. So here it is. Okay. Saturday mornings were dreadful because we had to clean together as a family. Listening to Neil Diamond's voice, blasting from the eight track tape player made it worse. I hated that damn music. That is until my 20s when his gospel like vibes started growing on me. Desperate for solitude, but still technically participating in the cleaning activity, I would sneak down to the unfinished basement that had been unused for years. I scrubbed the filthy standalone shower in the 70 style bathroom with orange, white and brown paneled walls. And during the musty smell for several weekends was worth it. And I smirked at my clever way of defying my mother's authority. She couldn't scold me for not cleaning,

3:08instead she would simply insist that I clean it again, which meant I got to hide out even longer. I would gaze at my new private bathroom and then wander to the other side of the musty basement to clean the bar area. I stayed in my cave as long as possible, singing along to the top 40 music blasting from the radio and experiencing a new kind of pleasure as I swayed my hips from my hips and arms to the drama of the music. I was in high school and one day my mother surprised me. Do you want to take modeling lessons? She asked my eyes widen as I jumped. What? Really? Thank you. So that'll give you a little bit of a clue of sort of the back and forth nature of my childhood. And how eventually I found that it was this glass ceiling, this these kind of mixed messages as you'll find out that caused me to undermine myself. And while other people saw me as wildly successful in many ways, I just never could reach this certain level. So anyway, in the beginning of the

4:11video, I asked you, you know, what do you think are the main messages that you observed as a child? Positive, negative, limiting, whatever. And how do you think and you see now how they contributed to certain ways that you respond and react to certain kinds of situations in a way that help you overcome or in a way that holds you back and undermine you while you're trying to overcome. It can be quite complicated. So I hope this is enticing you to want to read more or listen to more, learn more, go to my website, teberlookavitch.com. And right on my homepage is everything you need to know about my book, links to my Amazon page, my bookshop.org page, and links to other videos and blood posts. And I hope this I hope you're interested is all I got to say. So until the next chapter, I'll be back. Stay tuned. Take care.

5:13I'm your host, Debra lookavitch. And you are listening to dose of depth podcasts to get updates on new episodes, my writing, and how I teach my clients to get to know that deeper part of themselves. Go to debralookavitch.com. Oh, and if you're not ready for a coach, learn what my clients know in my book. Your soul is talking. Are you listening? Five steps to uncovering your hidden purpose. You can check it out on my website or get it on Amazon.