The CORNDOWN pt 308: with Chris Pine as Captain James T. Kirk

On this CORNDOWN, I get locked in to drive-thru problems that go too far, starting with bathroom questions, fire trucks, and gold burgers, with wastedmemory jumping in for the old people. That turns into burgers that feel wrong in texture, color, and purpose, mixed with trust issues, eye contact that lasts too long, and me taking a dump in room 211. From there it’s mostly cars where they absolutely don’t belong, like inside buildings, rooms, stairwells. Meanwhile whuppy keeps trying to shuffle situations around instead of fixing them. By the end, it’s cleaning products, email knives, Tiff’s bad luck, and a general sense that we need to leave right now. Lemon pledge.

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