
About this episode
There’s nothing but laughs in our Funny Stuff compilations of classic RISK! stories on the lighter side. This week, Kumail Nanjiani and Alecia Altstaetter share about penile injuries and barf boats.
🎤Live Story: Pure Fuckmachine by Kumail Nanjiani
Kumail learns how to masturbate and is so excited that he zips his pants too quickly afterward and cuts his penis on the zipper.
🎤Live Story: That New Ship Smell by Alecia Altstaetter
Alecia and her husband decide to take the kids on the high speed car ferry across Lake Michigan. A huge storm breaks out. The family ends up in the hospital covered in blood, urine, vomit and lake water by the end of the fiasco.
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