Talking To Upset, Stressed Women Is Great Practice - SFTS110

0:00You're listening to Snippets from the Summit with your host, Scott McKay. All right gentlemen, this is your main man Scott McKay coming at you again with another Snippet from the Summit as part of the Mountain Top Podcast from X and Y Communications. Have you ever noticed that Pick Up Advice has historically focused on happy women? You know you're going to meet her and she's going to be happy to go lucky and smiling and flirting or else the alternative, the other side of the coin will be she's going to be angry at you and cancel you for approaching her because she doesn't like you. Well see, that's all part of the win-loss ledger. When in reality, it's not a competition, it's just a conversation you're having with the woman. But see, us guys think of it as such a win-loss scenario that the only two possible situational outcomes would be, oh, we meet her and she's happy and she's giggling and she loves this or she's just really pissed off because of something we did.

1:06But that's not realistic, is it? Life's just not like that. You see, there are good decent women out there who might not be at their best and they may be in that mental state when you have the chance to approach them, meet them and interact with them. Now see, while most men would probably chicken out and miss out on countless potentially terrific women, can you be the one who steps up and stands out in a situation like that? Ha, you see, nobody ever talks about that scenario, do they? Even though I'm sure like me, you instinctively know how common it is. You've probably seen it all the time. Now listen, I'd say approaching and meeting sad, upset, stressed or even mildly angry women. Okay, admittedly not Ragee or batshit crazy women, you can leave them well enough alone and believe me, you'll have my blessing on it. I do the same. But talking to women who aren't at their best is actually great practice.

2:08It's not only great practice for pickup, but for real world relationships with real women too. Now listen, to be sure, I'm not talking about how to calm a woman down who you stressed out or pissed off, you know, hey babe calm down, you know that's different and that doesn't work anyway. That's a completely different podcast. I'm also not talking about being her therapist or her agony aunt as if that'll somehow impress her into bed. You guys have heard how that doesn't work time and time again, it just lanes you into just be friend zone. I'm talking about when whatever's bugging her is a pre-existing condition and you just stumble across her in her situation. Now if pre-existing condition kind of sounds like a medical term, it could be because even though the revelation I'm bringing to light in this show is way ever do and nobody's ever talked about it before as far as I know, it was actually a current popular TV show that inspired this episode.

3:09Now, if you've ever watched the pit on HBO Max, it's as good as it's hyped to be. Yeah, it's another ER show and you know, I'm not really a big fan of doctors and medical stuff. I try to avoid it. So I typically don't find medical shows entertaining and it's also kind of like the old 24 show. It's kind of a rip off of that in that each episode is an hour of an ER shift in real time. But that's kind of where the beauty of the show is because it's almost like the show is shot in one take even though we know it isn't. And it's how everybody is doing in real time interacting with each other with real emergencies. Now there are a lot of women on the show and a lot of men, a big part of what makes this show terrific is how all of these people handle stress and extreme emotion differently and they also interact with each other in the midst of it.

4:10Now some of the people on the show are brand new interns. I mean, it's like their first day. Each season is one day in the life of an emergency room employee, be they a doctor, a nurse or someone who simply works there and some other capacity and others are old pros. And it shows in the interactions between especially the men and the women on the show. And it's amazing how much better at interacting with and handling interactions with women, some of the men on the show are the others. And we should take notes because everybody on the show is stressed out, overwrought and perhaps dealing with extreme sadness or anger at all times. And it's a fascinating show because you'll know the guys who are screwing up and the guys who are really building themselves up just to be super attractive to all the women on the show in real time, you know, right before your very eyes. You can just see it unfolding on the show and it's fascinating.

5:14So what's the takeaway for a guy like you and me? Well, obviously we know telling a woman to calm down only makes things worse. But what does a big four man do? Well, he creates safety and security knowing that women are gripped by fear to a much greater degree than we are as men. And we also know that women respond to our lead, right? So never is there a better opportunity to be a big four man who creates safety and security than when a woman is at her most scared and vulnerable. You see that? Will you judge her, trivialize her emotion, say, ah, you'll get over it, no big deal. Or are you man enough to empathize and listen? I mean, what a quintessentially perfect example of when macho falls apart at the seams and pure virtuous masculinity as women define it that ignites their femininity wins.

6:18You're not the cause of her problem, but you're not a harmless bystander either. You're not like a brother to her and merely a shoulder to cry on. You're an agent for safety and security right there in that moment in her life. She probably doesn't need advice. She needs presence. She probably doesn't need to be hit on, but she may need a ride home. She may not be ready for the classic kiss-close just yet, but she damn skippy may need a good hug. And guess what? Women instinctively understand when a man knows how to be masculine in these contexts. It's about doing hard things, gentlemen, in a way. Mr. Nice Guy may feign empathy, but he has an agenda of trying to impress her. A big four man holds a woman, tells her everything's going to be all right and expects her to believe it and she does. And it's powerful and it's attractive and yes, it makes women horny.

7:19Why? Because he's present, not needy. But make no mistake about it. Yes, once she's processed her emotional state that you just held space for, you'll be the man she cannot stop thinking about. A little patience goes a long way, gentlemen. Put this to the test. Stop shying away from women who don't look like they're at their best right now and talk to them. See how you can be an agent for masculinity in her life and watch her respond as only a feminine woman could. Want to talk about this or anything else? Go ahead and email me, gentlemen, at Scott at mountaintoppodcast.com. And remember, you can learn more about the big four all the time, 24-7 at mountaintoppodcast.com front slash big four. Be good out there. As always, visit mountaintoppodcast.com for more.