Anthony Bompiani: Alienation or Protecting Your Child?

Anthony Bompiani spent more than twenty years as a family law attorney watching clients come apart in divorce and custody fights, and he believed he understood their pain. Then he went through his own divorce, and, in his words, it finally clicked. That is where his coaching came from.

Anthony Bompiani is a retired judge and family law attorney who now coaches parents through high-conflict custody under the name Judge Anthony, drawing on a background in psychology and more than two decades in the system. He co-parents three sons after an amicable divorce of his own. He returns for the second half of a conversation with Lisa about how family court really treats parents, and what to do when it feels rigged against you.

Anthony is blunt about how custody court can exploit ordinary parenting, the bruises kids get from play, the imperfections that make people human, and how a manipulative ex often accuses you of exactly what they are doing. He explains how judges weigh expert witnesses on competency and credibility, why a treating professional carries more weight than a paid expert who never met your child, and how a criminal record becomes relevant through the content and the timing of the offense. He also names the pattern so many listeners live in: the paper abuse used to drain and exhaust a former partner through repeated filings, and why he believes honest attorneys could shut most of it down.

The through-line is where your power actually sits. Answer false allegations with a flat denial and starve them of your attention. Refuse the hatred that keeps you attached. And when you draw a judge who avoids deciding, the one Anthony calls a can kicker, stack the record politely on each appearance until the history forces a ruling. His coaching program and a free masterclass carry these ideas further, both on his site.

As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

🎓 What you'll learn

• The alienation-or-protection line, and why the timing of a first abuse claim works against you
• Why, without signs of harm to the child, a court is unlikely to cut off the other parent
• How to answer a false allegation: a flat "that's not true," and nothing that feeds their attention
• Why "up your game as a parent" beats going low, since kids learn from what they see
• Why you don't have to hate your ex, and how hatred keeps you attached instead of free
• How judges weigh expert witnesses, and why a treating professional beats a paid one
• How a criminal record becomes relevant through the content and the timing of the offense
• What to do with a "can kicker" judge: stack the record out loud until it forces a ruling

⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Recap, and where his empathy came from
3:00 Alienation or protection, and why the timing looks like motive
7:00 When you can't keep your kids from the other parent
11:00 Adversity, resilience, and upping your game as a parent
15:00 Does encouraging the relationship help? The abuse spectrum
17:00 Expert witnesses, competency, and credibility
21:00 Handling false allegations with a flat denial
27:00 Why you don't have to hate your ex
31:00 Vexatious litigation and legal abuse
41:00 Criminal records, and the "can kicker" judge

Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Judge Anthony (Anthony Bompiani): https://judgeanthony.com

About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.