Sun Your Taint And Bomb your Butthole

On Today’s Episode

Taint tanning goes fully mainstream, a Florida man commits crimes against meat itself, DoorDash drivers take hygiene terrorism to new levels, and—once again—someone discovers that explosives do not belong inside the human rectum. Plus, AI loses its damn mind, free pretzels spark a 12-minute old-man meltdown, and Tainted Broth returns with another glorious cover.

• Great Moments in Venereal History
  A deeply moving, extremely itchy tale of lifelong companionship with pubic crabs—named, loved, mourned, and eventually exterminated.

• Old Man Yells at Pretzel
  Tim officially crosses into “near-dead” territory after a failed T-Mobile Tuesday trip to Auntie Anne’s ends with sneezing, snot hands, and pretzel contamination trauma.

• My Strange Addiction Watch
  TLC introduces a woman addicted to sunning her perineum. Boots on, legs up, guitar strumming, taint blazing.

• AI Is Definitely Not Ready
  NVIDIA’s new real-time voice AI thinks it’s 2011, won’t answer basic questions, spirals into madness, and sounds like a TikTok influencer having a stroke.

• Throwback Music Corner
  Tim revisits his very first song, “Pain, Rain, Love”, and unveils a brand-new 80s hair-metal cover by Tainted Broth.

• DoorDash Shoe Terrorism
  A delivery driver is caught rubbing his filthy shoe all over a customer’s food—and somehow claims it’s his.

• Delivery Driver Revenge Compilation
  A man denies ordering pizza… then slaps the delivery guy for content. Honestly deserved worse.

• Distorted News

  • 🇫🇷 France: A hospital evacuates after doctors discover a World War I artillery shell lodged in a man’s rectum. Bomb squad called. Museum-quality stupidity.

  • 🥩 Florida: A man steals nearly $4,000 worth of premium meat, then throws it away after catching his girlfriend with another man—prompting outrage from the Special Meat Crimes Unit.

• Voicemails & Texts

  • Praise for Tainted Broth

  • Discord drama settled

  • Missing dick pics

  • Gamer tag suggestions

  • A listener possibly dying mid-drive (please call back)

  • A Chinese girlfriend officially approves the China Song

• Distorted View Sideshow memberships available with full yearly archive feeds (2004–2011, 2024–2025, more coming).

• Patreon supporters get early voicemail access.

• Spotify & Apple Podcasts in-app subscriptions supported.

Featured Segments & StoriesSupporting the Show