Jeff Kaplan: Being the Client Your Lawyer Can Fight For

Jeff Kaplan has practiced matrimonial law in New York for close to thirty years, and his whole message in this conversation is that your case is a partnership. The client who does their homework, stays honest, and keeps their conduct clean gives their lawyer something to work with. The client who hides things and fires off angry texts hands the other side the case.

Jeff Kaplan runs his own matrimonial and family law practice in Midtown Manhattan, working across the five boroughs and the surrounding counties. He is a returning guest, and this time the subject is the relationship between an attorney and the person they represent, and how to be the kind of client a good lawyer can genuinely go to bat for.

In this episode, Kaplan and Lisa cover how to vet a lawyer before you hire one and how to read your own distrust, since it often comes from disliking the truth rather than from bad lawyering. They talk about why a cordial relationship between opposing counsel tends to help settlement, how to handle a genuinely unreasonable opposing counsel by putting that unreasonableness before the court, and why social media and unfiltered messages come back as exhibits. He walks through full financial transparency, the statement of net worth, and being the party the judge trusts on discovery while your lawyer handles the other side's non-compliance.

He ends on candor and preparation: be honest with your attorney from the first meeting, because what you bury will surface in court, and expect a good lawyer to cross-examine you before trial on the questions you would least want to answer, including what you are actually asking the judge to order.

As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

🎓 What you'll learn

• How to vet a lawyer before you hire, using people with firsthand experience, not reviews
• Why a good lawyer's honest bad news is working for you, not against you
• How to tell distrust of your lawyer from simply disliking the truth they're telling you
• Why friendly opposing counsel usually saves you money rather than plotting against you
• Handling an unreasonable opposing counsel by putting their conduct in front of the court
• Your texts and co-parenting-app messages are exhibits: respond measured, kill them with kindness
• Why full financial transparency early makes you the party the judge trusts on discovery
• Trial prep most people never picture: your own lawyer cross-examining you first

⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Welcome back: why the client relationship decides the case
3:00 Jeff's background: nearly thirty years of NYC matrimonial law
5:00 Your lawyer should know your case cold
9:00 Vetting a lawyer, and when you stop trusting yours
11:00 Delivering honest bad news and managing expectations
13:00 "Is my lawyer conspiring with my ex's lawyer?"
19:00 Handling a difficult, unreasonable opposing counsel
25:00 Social media and texts become exhibits
29:00 Financial transparency and the statement of net worth
43:00 Trial prep: cross-examining your own client

Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Jeff Kaplan at J. Kaplan & Associates, PLLC: https://www.kaplanlawny.com/

🎧 More with Jeff Kaplan on this podcast
Ep 85: Getting a Stalled High-Conflict Divorce Moving

About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.