Stop Escalating Fights With This Secret Weapon: Repair Attempts

What can you do to stop a fight from escalating? Surely there’s a better way to argue? If you feel like your communication with your partner sometimes takes a disrespectful turn, then today’s episode is for you.

Robert and Sharla are sharing one of their favorite interventions in couples coaching: it’s a tool to stop couples from letting negativity spiral out of control.

Understanding repair attempts begins with appreciating the philosophy that your marriage or relationship is an infinite game that you are constantly wanting to extend by never actually ‘winning.’

Approaching conflict with a mindset of humility, as well as a curiosity to understand your partner’s point of view in an argument, are some of the more positive approaches you can make as repair attempts when things start to spiral out of control.

And of course, between being provoked and responding, there is space for growth and freedom (if you choose) by acknowledging your power to be empathetic to your partner’s needs. In any conversation, let your first response be your breath.

This episode on repair attempts is a literal breath of fresh air for couples in need of new approaches to resolving conflict. It also comes with a cheat sheet in the show notes below. Please join us.

“Marriage is an infinite game. The objective is to never win.” ~ Robert Snow

In This Episode:

- A recap of the 8 predictors for divorce and the Four Horsemen

- Understanding how repair attempts can improve your marriage

- Compromise is the oil that lubricates the engine called marriage

- Understanding why the goal is never to win — rather, to extend the game

- Leaving your ego tucked away and remaining curious in a challenging conversation

- How to move the conversation closer to compromise

- Using ‘I statements’ to defuse negativity

- Acknowledging and understanding your partner’s point of view: “help me understand”

And so much more!

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