SORE LOSERS: Stories From Jamaica

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2:00plus the cost of options benefits. Plan features and taxes and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third free line free via monthly build credits. Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required. I started it. Good, man. Hey, this is it, guys. We're headed down to Jamaica. Oh, my goodness. We have been waiting for this for weeks, days, months, and we are finally going to hear about Jamaica. Come on, Jamaica. You're making me crazy after the break. No, no, we're not taking it. We've been doing it for 26 seconds. We're not doing a break. But before we get to Jamaica, I mean, I need to know, like going into Jamaica, like I need to know the process of Jamaica getting to Jamaica. I need to feel what it's like to leave American soil and touch down in Jamaica. I need to know like, do you have an early flight? So right when you get in, you can see the beautiful beaches. The sun is still shining. Is it a nighttime flight?

3:04So you have to wait and enjoy Jamaica till the next day. I need to set the scene in this first, you know, little segment, I would say instead of dropping right into the Jamaica story, I need to know how we got there. I want to set the mood. Yeah, man, they have land trees and sun just like us. No third world country, Ray. How poor really are they? That's not what I'm saying. I got you. We hit the airport late. Oh, you got to see this. All right, I'm telling you now we'll start the show. Oh, and then we got to get into it. Like then I want to know, like bags packed early. Are you panic packing? What am I? That's a stupid question. That's a dumb question. Because you're already freaking out about other things. Ray, is it a rush like a kidnapping? No, no, no. No dude, just packing for an airport man. No, because me, I panic pack and I pack like an hour before my flight. That sounds kinky.

4:08Like I just, my time management skills are not the best and we've talked about it on this pod. Like when we're planning coaches, conventions, I'm always like, yeah, I'm going to get it done. I'm going to get it done. We're going to get it done early, early, early, early. And then hasn't really happened that way. So that's what I was referring to. But let's just start the show and then I'll explain. We're going to do it live. We are the one, two, three, star losers from Jamaica. What's up everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports. So I give you the sports facts, my sports opinions because I'm pretty much a sports genius. Y'all, it's sizzin. I'm from the north, but this show I'm from Jamaica, man. And I got Landman, two point three, three, three acres, man. I live with my wife, man. Justin is supposed to be looking after our kid, man, eventor belt, man, but Justin moved to Michigan men for the foreseeable future, man, which is thousands of miles away from Jamaica and thousands of miles away from Nashville, Tennessee, man, over to you, man, but probably then back to me, man.

5:11Yeah. So as you're headed out for Jamaica, are you packed days in advanced? Bayzer is because she works from home and she's able to do that. Oh, pack a hat one day, bra, the next panties, thong. So she's me. I would almost say, what is it? What'd you call it? Panic packing, kinky panic. No, no, panic packing. So like, yeah, I'll like kind of four play like choke myself and panic and then pack that hour before. Okay. I'm similar to you. I'm doing laundry at two a.m. in the morning if we're leaving at five. Thank you. That's how I pack and my wife hates it. It drives her nuts that I just am like, ah, you know, I'll get we've got to be at the airport in three hours. I'm like, yeah, so that's putting a time to do two loads of laundry, figure out what I need, put it in a suitcase, and we can roll it to the airport. That drives her insane. So you aren't panic, you're panic packing. Bay is packed. Do you bring sunscreen or do you buy sunscreen fully loaded used about one

6:13bottle of a 10. So remember that guys for the crews and for the next convention. You don't need all the sunscreen. You're going to pack. Okay. And so how are you going airport is fill taking you? Are you driving leaving your vehicle? Are you ubering? What what's the plan getting to the airport? Bring our vehicle and VIP park where you park right next to the airport. Rich rich. Don't ever let bays or do it because there's no turn back. Once you give a street cat, sat and sheets, they never go back to the street. We learned that if you take an Uber, it's just awkward. And that's not how you want to come back to America. They're exit or entrance. And then also when you park there, you realize you still pay 18 a day. If you VIP, it's 28. It's $10 more a day. For VIP, they warm your car. They wash the thing. Heck, I think the guy farts in the seat before you get there. It's great. You get off the airplane and your car's waiting for you. It is pretty fantastic. I used to do one of those services. You park off property.

7:20And we had to deal with the station here and one of the companies. And so they would wash your car and they would have it started and they would shuttle would pick you up, drive you right to your car, boom, you're in and out in five minutes. A place went belly up. It's no longer there. So now I just pay the outrageous prices that it costs to park at the freaking airport. Well, you know who taught me that coach. He said, hey, dude, nobody knows about it. You can park right there and you live like a celebrity and it's not very expensive. I did it one time when I was going to Florida. My family was already down there and we were working and we were going to be Friday and Saturday Sunday. I was going after the show Friday. And I mean, I had a flight at 130 and we were at the building till 12 30. And I had to get on the airplane. The plane was leaving Nashville in one hour from when we said, okay, everybody have a good weekend. And I drove so fast to the airport. I mean, so fast.

8:23No, no, no, there was a fire truck. Hit the fire truck. Well, it's this thing. Oh, never mind. We don't need that. There was a fire truck with its lights on and I was passing it on the highway because I did not want to miss my plane. And I said, that is a bad sign when I am driving that fast to get to the airport. Why'd you pass me? Why'd you get to give me a ticket? I don't know. You passed a fire truck with its lights on. And I pulled up to this VIP. You got me. This VIP thing that you are talking about. And I said, hey, man, I need a ticket. I need a ticket. He said, oh, sir, you got to wait in line. You know, I mean, there's two cars in front of you. I said, man, I'm going to miss my flight. He goes, sorry, man. And I said, I'll just leave the keys on the seat. Do you really want to just leave your car there with the keys on the seat? Yeah. I was like, yeah, I'll just find it when I get back. Then I find out. I'll just find it when I get back. Pull up. It goes, you think it's going to be just that easy. We'll just be able to find the car

9:25where the guy didn't take a ticket. Dude, you argue with everybody. I don't even say but one word to the VIP person, keys high, see you Sunday. I was in such a hurry that I was going to miss the flight that I was just going to leave the keys, not even get a ticket and figure it out when I got back. Then I found out. And then I pulled out a $10 bill or $20 bill and he goes, oh, here's your ticket right now. Boom, made the flight. But go ahead. So you're going to park it via VIP. Sorry. We're not even out of the airport, dude. I know. This Jamaican story is going to be a two-parter. So you go and right, you go to gate D. No, no. Are you flying out in the morning or the evening afternoon? What time are you leaving Nashville? This trip was so long ago. Let me go back in my head. I believe it's always early flight. So yes, it was we hours the morning. We probably left it 6 a.m. Thank you. I just want to know what it's going to be like when we get to Jamaica. Is it going to be daytime? Well, that's a problem. It was going to be where we could sneak in one hour of sunlight. Well, in Florida, because we had connecting flights, we hit a bird. We had to return

10:27back to Orlando or Miami or Fort Lauderdale. One of the three don't know how to about three times that many drinks. And so then we were delayed and we didn't get in probably till 10 p.m. No. So we couldn't squeeze in the hour of sunlight and we couldn't even do a dinner. Oh, man. So that's also what we got the pro tip that sometimes you go a day before your reservation, because you still get charged for that day. Oh, man, that's rough, man. Not only there for five bangers, so we almost got four and a half. I had no idea that there was travel delays because of birds. That's what he said. He said because of it, maybe blocking the engine that we had to turn around. And so then you go back to the airport. And of course, on body and drinks, how many can you squeeze in? I told Bayzer, minimum an hour and a half. They fixed it like 40 minutes. I was still at the bar. I ran back onto the flight as it was basically pulling off. Been there, been there. I said, well, first of all, reception isn't good in the airport. Never got your text. And holy crap did not know, Mr. Cochester here that that pilot was going to be able to fix an engine with

11:31a seagull in it in 40 minutes. Props to him. Hey, where's my seat? Oh, it's not reserved still. This is actually before the fact when you could have a reserve seat. Now it was fill in. Maybe got lucky. Sat next to it. Nobody sat in the front seats because it was a bigger dude. So we sat next to a bigger dude. And he was recovering alcoholic. I said, I'm in recovery too, gambling addict. And he goes, here's my drink tickets. So the whole time we're body and drinks right next to this guy recovering from it. Wow. And he was doing discord. He was on some crazy wacky stuff on his internet. But we got great seats and two drink tickets, all because we sat next to the big dude. What was he had to make a four? He wasn't going to Jamaica. So that actually might have been the flight to Florida. Okay. Got it. I was going to say that dude did not go to Jamaica with us. He was, uh, he would have been burnt like a crab dude. That guy got off in Florida at some discord convention. Hey, it had a bit of beached whale. You know what? Now you bring it up.

12:31He wasn't going to Ocho real. He hadn't seen the sun in like two years. He wasn't going to come on to go Bayman. All right, man. Oh, man. Oh, that's funny, man. So you get to Jamaica. Tell me about getting to Jamaica. What's it feel like? Is it hot? Is it like tell me about Jamaica? What's the everybody friendly right when you get off the plane? Hey, welcome to Jamaica. Come on. I believe we're in the vicinity of about ten drinks each at that point. I remember getting off the plane and this dude was talking my ear off and he was telling me about this Negril. Got to go to Negril. He had like his sorority daughter and fraternity son next to him his wife. It almost looked like the people from the show that's amazing where they're in Europe and they go to Taiwan. And it's my favorite show, White Lotus. Yeah. It was exactly like that family. Okay. And so he's, it guys going crazy. Looks like a stock trader. The wife looks stressed out and she's on pills maybe. And buddy goes, got to go to Negril. It's amazing. I go, well,

13:32we're actually going to Ocho Rio. So we're not even going into Negril, but he's still pitching me on Negril. I guess like we got to check out Negril next time. So remember that and then immediately once we get through whatever we're going through customs, there's a BMW waiting to pick us up basically with a bow on it. And the guys weren't a Santa hat. Let's go. I got the pick. We'll put on the Graham. I can't wait. And so that's it that we did. You could have paid. I want to say $100 for a bus with 20 other sweaty Americans now or 150 for a VIP. What happened to be a BMW car? All did that. Yeah. And so dude, dude is amazing. Except for Bezer gets with emotional with the dude because he's away from his family on Christmas. It was Christmas day. Oh. And so basically was, I'm so sorry. You have to drive us. Laura Bezer. It's his job. Let him do. And he goes, yeah, I'm just happy to make money. This awesome. And she goes, I'm so sorry. We're taking you away from your family. Bezer, it's his job. And so I'm sure we tip the dude $40 after we had

14:33already paid him like 150. So you paid extra for the parking and the airport. You paid extra for the transportation. You are rich rich. Okay. But we save up for this. We don't go on vacation on the cheap. If we do it, we've already put an entire five paychecks towards it. We get it. You're light. You're trying to be like Joe from Sarasota. I get it. I understand trying to impress your young wife. I got it. And it's also one of those things that there was no gambling there. So and you weren't allowed to tip there. Oh, yeah. It was some resorts. How terrible. Well, because some resorts, it's just known. Oh, you got to tip the maids or the cleaning people. You got to tip the bar guy, the barkeep, the bar back, the restaurant person at your table, a breakfast, two dollars person that turns down your bed to dollars. This one, they said no tipping or people get fired. So we still bring 500 because we were going to tip people on the side. You know, yeah. And so the obviously BMW guy, boom, you've just slide it. You've been blessed. You've been cited. And so two minutes outside the airport, we're stopping getting some tree.

15:36He stopped just for a minute. Comes back with an entire shrub. We're never going to burn through all that. Maybe all we need is a leaf. You know what I mean? Got it. And so up. Got it. Like Baylor, we've already made two terrible bit money decisions. We give this new to $40 tip when he's already getting paid. Look at him. He's driving a better vehicle than us in America. Like seriously. The dude was driving a beans. A BMW dubster. Was it a, no, it wasn't a Benz. It was a BMW. And the Baylor, I drive a trailblazer from 20 years ago. Good gosh. You don't have to tip the man. And he was a absolute blast and a vibe, but it's dark. So we're not really able to see. You can see some lights up in the hills. That is what is what Jamaica is cool for. You can see the hills. You can see the shanties. You can see the third world country. We're at in Costa Rica. You can see that too. I would say I'm staying out of Costa Rica, man. I know. It's surfer, dude. But places like Aruba and what's in a church in Cacos and Dominican Republic. There's no hills.

16:39So you're just seeing flat at night. You're not going to see anything. This. You're seeing the lights. You're seeing what makes it. You know, you're seeing a family. You see Bolt. You saying? Yeah. Seeing flags. They're proud of Jamaica there. But yeah. So you're seeing some stuff. Thanks to the hills. But it's about an hour and a half drive from this airport. Oh my gosh. I'm passing out. And I still don't even know what airport we flew into. Either it was Montego Bay or Ocho Rio. Because Ocho Rio is right next to where we're at. So I'm pretty sure we flew into Montego Bay. That's why the flight or the drive was an hour and a half. And the guy at the pool. I'd already told that story. Remember his wife. Yeah. Very attractive, massive mountain range. Yeah. They were hammered left the Rolexes at the pool. I kept telling the guy that we flew into Ocho Rio and I told him our our drive was an hour and a half. He probably thought I was crazy because it's probably it's like a five minute drive. Yeah. He probably thought this dude done. I told him to the wrong airport for an entire conversation of five hours. It happens, man. You're not supposed to know. You're not. You're not Jamaica familiar. You know, you're new. He goes what you went to you went to Ocho Rio. Yeah. Yeah. We flew in there.

17:44Huh. Yeah. It was an hour and a half drive. You went to Ocho Rio. Yeah. You know, bamboo up top. Open wide air. You know, not a lot of flights. Yeah. Yeah. We got to take a break. But that guy was so confused. We're still in the car driving to the resort. Now we haven't got to the resort yet. We're at the resort. We just got there. We just got there. And they just walking with oven arms or what? We did make one more pit stop. Let me tell me here. Bayser didn't know how to properly plant the tree. Got it. So that guy helped plant the tree while I went to this little dive bar all by myself with American money. And there's 10 people at the bar. Look at me like we hate American. Oh, so I didn't the love from Jamaica. Doesn't happen until you get to the resort. Up until then it's a crowd that knows like three words. We hate American. I I roll up to this bar hot. I got American money. I want some drink. I want some red stripe. I have eight eyes looking at me and all of them are saying we hate American.

18:46They're not your best friend. Huh? No, you weren't yet. Wait. Hold on. So you're telling me you were walking in thinking, hey, sit in right moon. No, man. That's what you were thinking. You were thinking it was going to be open arms with arms wide open. What's that song with arms? What open? The love man was in the BMW man when we got picked up. The love man is at the resort man. But when I was at the dive bar, man, just trying to get a red stripe man, they probably overcharged me $20 because I think I gave him a 20 and it was like a dollar beer because their prices are really cheap. Yeah. And it didn't get money back. And then yeah, yeah, yeah, they weren't very kind to me there. Oh, that's unfortunate. That was really my for I'm in Jamaica, man, oh, hey, man, but Marley, man, hey, who was saying both, man? We hate American. Oh, like you walked in and then the music stopped. Yes. And so then then we got out of there, got in the BMW. Everything was properly planted. And we were ready to head to the resort, baby.

19:51I love it. When you pulled to the resort, is there a gate? I saw it on the way out, not on the way in. Things were a little blurry. I'm in and out of consciousness. Got it. Not really that intense, but I what things are a little fuzzy. Okay. There wasn't a gate. I saw it on the way out. But yeah, we roll up and it's just it's beautiful. The Christmas lights, there's presents, Christmas trees lining the row. And there's a huge soldier, a Christmas soldier from, oh, you know, from all the stories we used to read as kids. They made us feel like it was a tropical Christmas. The minute we were there, we're at the resort. We need to take a break. Yeah, and we're going to go to the front desk. We're going to check in. We're going to come back and tell you the rest of Jamaica. The rest of the story is where we're going to meet after the break. Teddy bear. Teddy bear after this. Running a business is hard enough. So why make it harder with a dozen different apps that don't talk to each other, one for sales, another for inventory, a several one for accounting.

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22:01Whether you're brand new or looking for a better experience, Kraken makes it easy to get started. Download Kraken on the App Store or Google Play. That's K-R-A-K-E-N. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss and is offered to U.S. customers excluding New York and Maine through Payward Interactive Incorporate. If you regal Disclosures at Kraken.com slash regal slash Disclosures, terms and conditions apply. We're lost. It feels like we're going round in circles. I'm going to ask that man for directions. Hi there. We're trying to get to the state fairgrounds. Well, you're going to take a left at the old oak tree at this here road. Nah, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out. How is there signal out here? T-Mobile and U.S. Cellular are coming together, so the network out here is huge. We get the same great signal as the city, saving a boatload with benefits. And there's a five-year price guarantee, too. Okay, here's the turn. Actually, can you pull up the way to a T-Mobile store? America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T-Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus, our five-year price guarantee.

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24:04Do your research, ask the right questions, then visit orderlymeds.com slash podcast for an exclusive offer. Again, that's orderlymeds.com slash podcast. Individual results may vary, not medical advice, eligibility required, see site for details. So, anyways, this teddy bear character. So, we had actually landed and airported and taxied and got all the way to the resort. And what do we need a nightcap? So, you're talking espresso martinis. And we didn't know precisely where the location was where you could go get those. Nice resort, but it's not really signs. They try to make it look all sexy. So, we're just kind of looking around. When the corner, this dude comes out and he goes, Hey, are you guys looking for espresso martinis, man? We go, well, yeah, yeah, we are. And he goes, I know, man, this really nice place, man, it's just right around the corner. I'll show you, man.

25:04I said, thank you so much, sir. What is your name? And he goes, what? Teddy bear, man. What are you doing? I started. Why? You idiot. I only did 30 seconds. You idiot. You didn't miss anything. I don't know. I did 30 seconds. I know. Now I'm all thrown off, man. I did 30 seconds, man. But why would you do that, man? I was sitting there just waiting for you and I heard you, do your whistle, but I thought that meant you were getting a drink, doing something and I look in here and he's talking about Teddy bear. I did it to piss you off. No, you don't piss me off, man. It just confused me more like it. Like, there's no, I'm not angry. I'm just like, huh. So, uh, yeah, I will get, I guess I'll just, yeah, how long we've been doing this now? 2020. 2020. Hell of a documentary, right?

26:05I don't even know, 140. Oh, my God. Whatever. So, why not just say, hey, Lodge, I'm ready, man. Is this exact reason to piss you off? No, no, no, do I sound pissed off? No, I just did it to see how long I could tell the story before you came in here. I was just like, man, right into the bathroom and it's been gone a while. I guess I'll wander down there and see if he's back. Oh, he's already talking. It's in use. The mics are on. And I did it to show the listeners that I could do a show without you. So, for 40 seconds, they learned that. That's pretty impressive. That's pretty impressive. So, are you going to recap it or am I just going to have to catch up? Dimly lit resort. It was 9 p.m., and we needed a nightcap. We wanted an espresso martini. Out of the corner comes this guy, teddy bear, man. I'll show you where espresso martinis are, man. Did he work at the hotel or was he a guest? Yes. Had the name tag, white shirt, pants. And so, we go to the espresso bar. And it's kind of hidden bookshelves and all that. We would have never found it. Wait, wait, wait. There's a special bar for espresso martinis.

27:10Expresso martinis, got it. But remember, you can't tip these people. So, we get there and me and Baser combined. They've probably put enough drinks down to float a boat. But we're still feeling pretty good. We remember it all. You know, I'm just saying because you think about it. Heavy travel day, heavy drinking. Yeah. And we got the free drinks on the flight. From that dude that was a recovery. That's right. That was doing his sheets. And so, we go to this espresso martini bar. And what do you think? Baser's already doing the tipping. Hey, I'm bartender. You were so amazing. Here, here. I know you guys can't take tips. I'm gonna slip you this. So, she slips the bartender $40 teddy bear. We don't know precisely the exact amount. But between $100 and $150 we tip teddy bear. For showing you where the bar is. If you ever met us when we're drunk, we're the nicest people in the world. Oh my god. And Baser thinks that everybody's boar.

28:11Baser, this kid probably has a condo. And he was so nice. How far did he walk you like two stairs? Us to the Bobby Montreux studio. Oh my gosh. But it was a great espresso martini. And so, we wake up the next morning. We thought we got robbed. We realized we tip teddy. Somewhere between north of 100 and south of 200. And that is where the story starts. Teddy bear. Teddy bear. I'm assuming that teddy bear after that tip is gonna be in your hip pocket all weekend, all week. So, over the next four days, if we were at a brunch. Oh hey, teddy bear. If we were at a pool. Hey, teddy bear. How have you guys been doing, man? Good, man. Good, man. Hey, I have my DJ tonight, man.

29:12Would you want to swing by and listen to my music, man? Maybe, maybe we will. After dinner. Hey, man. Remember, I'm DJing tonight, man. I'll see you guys later. Thanks, man. Yeah, just let me know the following morning. Oh, sorry. We didn't come. Dude, it was late at night. Didn't come. It's okay, man. Later on today, man. We're putting together a skit out here in the plaza. You should come by and see, man. I'll be one of the dancers. Okay. Oh, that sounds good. Thank you, teddy bear. Yaman, no worries, man. If it was a pool, if it was a brunch, if it was a after dinner, if it was just walking around teddy bear, teddy bear. Oh, hey, teddy bear, teddy bear. Teddy bear, teddy bear. That leads me to the climax of teddy bear. So why is teddy bear being nice to us? Like, why? Why? Because you tipped him so much money. Get in here, Scoob. I'm only in the middle of a Jamaica story. Yeah, teddy bear, man. Teddy bear.

30:12Two spots, but then you remember there's mentions in the podcast, too. Got it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll talk about that, man. This, this, we're in Jamaica, man. They won't be able to make a demolition derby. Anyone seen Jamal? Right up. Yeah. Demolition Derby, you know, we're, uh, the week of 223. All right, we're got it. It's going to be in Shelbyville, Tennessee, March 8th at Cooper Steel Arena. Come see me, uh, if you're in Jamaica right now, you're not going to be able to get there. But hey, come on, let's do it. So are we taking a break? Or I can, I can roll real quick. No, you can roll real quick. So the final pool day, I mean, teddy bear has been there for everything. I would say shy of being in the bedroom with us for naughty time. He has seen us do everything. He has been on every pool chair with us. He's been on every inflatable. We'll be actually in the water and he's hanging over the edge. Teddy bear was a threesome. We were a thrupal with teddy bear, the entire trip. Come to the last day.

31:13Why is teddy bear being so nice to us? Why? Because the big tip, I, that's one of them. But then also, and that's obviously not the answer. I knew you wouldn't know it. No, no, I know. That's not why is he being so nice to us? It's not the money. I know I know. Trick, that's how a good host tricks you. That was really not because of the money. This is a good crime pocket. It's like a plot twist. And so I'm going to say he was really nice to you because he thought you like to clock. No, incorrect answer. So the final pool day, I'm severely hungover, but I'm still drinking naturally. It's a vacation. Yeah, got to. And so they're bringing red stripe lights. We were doing these mudslides. Bayser probably did a Bob Marley at one point. There was a blue drink that I told you about the coral blue. We're mixing all these. I'm so hungover. I'm trying to check NFL scores. It was on Sunday. I mean, I'm shaking. I can barely pull up. Oh, Patriots are winning again. Okay, got. Oh, Titans are down by 50. Got it. I can barely scroll my phone. Much less do the requests that Teddy bear was about to come up with.

32:14Teddy bear rolls over. Oh, man. So it's okay. Don't worry. You didn't come to any DJ set of mine over the last four days. It's okay, man. Even though I invite you, man, I invite you to this. I invite you to that. You don't come to nothing, man. I thought we friends, man. Every night at 11 p.m., he had a DJ set. We never went once. Got. Got invited 200 times. So you could have seen the next dead mouse. And you have no idea. Teddy was on the wax, saxo wax every night at the whiskey club. And it was always raging till two. I tell Teddy, we really, really don't stay out late. But Teddy, man, it's okay, man. Don't even worry about it, man. Hey, let me ask you this one favor, man. So if you go on, man, if you go on trip advisor, man, there, man, you can fill out, man, that I was good to you, man. You can say how, how Teddy bear, man, at this resort, make sure you name the resort, man, was exceptional, man. Man, if you do this for me, man, you just, you just say, Teddy bear, man, duns river, man, then man, that's how we get promotions, man.

33:17If we get enough trip advisor, good comments and positive feedback, man, that's how you go level up, man. So you guys would help me level up, man. So he wants us to do these Yelp and trip advisor things. So aforementioned, bro, I'm shaking so bad. I couldn't even pull up X and be like, Teddy bear, send to the world. I'm shaking so bad. And so, Bayzer bless her soul. She has to, with decent Wi-Fi, has to download trip advisor. She has to download Yelp. She has to download Google messenger comment on trips and, and she has to fill out 140 characters. So say you say Teddy bear was comfortable and just a big old Teddy bear. That's like 20. Bayzer had to write four paragraphs on every one of these apps for this dude. Sometimes she would run out, she'd be at 100 and she'd just do a bunch of emoji smiley phases.

34:17I go, Bayzer bless your soul because I can't even function right now to get on my phone right now in this tropical paradise because I'm recovering. Okay, I'm actually going to give up drinking because holy crap, the effects are brutal. But Bayzer for an hour and a half probably at the pool on our final day, Teddy bear is on our lily pad and our pool bed that we paid $150 for, camped out the entire afternoon waiting for Bayzer to do all these comments and all these different apps and stuff. Oh my gosh. So that could be the end of the story. Oh, I thought that was it. I thought, okay, he's got proof. He's going to leave you alone. The end of the story really is don't ever tip these people when they say not to tip because a holy crap that got annoying talking to Teddy bear every single time of the day. If regardless of where the sun was in the sky, Teddy bear was 20 feet away from us. And did she do them a favor? Yes, they can also get in trouble for it. These resorts and she snuck the bartender 20.

35:19So hopefully that espresso bartender never got fired. Hopefully Teddy bear never got fired. And that's the lesson there. But there is all that to say this. I think Teddy bear actually did get fired because so if Bayzer filled it all that stuff, did all the comments, whatever. We did the stuff for him and then we finally got rid of him. Well, he comes over and he gives me a shot glass. It says Jamaica on it. Yeah, and it's a Teddy bear's last day. I go, thank you, Teddy bear. Thank you so much. This is no lie. This is a dead God's on a true story. I take this shot glass and we wanted to go play bingo. I want to do a poolside bingo. Why not? We go over there. You couldn't, the universe couldn't have written this up any better. The host of bingo, what is his name? Teddy bear. The host of bingo's name is Ray. Oh. And so when we all introduce each other, who do you think he's going to know and look at and be the most memorable? Ray. The guy that has the same name as him, Ray. Correct. So the entire time he's saying, Ray, this, Ray that,

36:19oh, Ray, how are you doing, Ray? Well, I took the shot glass that Teddy bear had given slash stolen. And he goes, Ray, how did you get that shot glass? We haven't even played the game yet. And I go, I got it from Teddy bear. Teddy bear came over and we were like helping him out. And he's like, here you go. There's a free shot glass. No. The only reason he gave a crap about me is because my name was Ray. In this universe where the host names Ray, and Teddy bear stole a shot glass and gave it to me. It was the same shot glass that they gave at bingo if you won. I learned that five minutes later when I won. And I said, and Ray comes over and hands me the same shot glass that Teddy bear had already stolen for me. And it was then confirmed that Teddy bear stole a shot glass to thank us for all the reviews. But that stolen shot glass may have sealed his fate.

37:20So I don't know if Teddy bear got the promotion and leveled up or if Teddy bear got fired. And I will hang up and listen. Wow. That is a story from Jamaica. And that's that Jamaica shot glass. Hot stolen piece of merchandise is sitting on our table in Nashville, Tennessee right now. That's that's beautiful, dude. That was a great storytelling. That was worth the wait. And we'll take a break. What's the time? Running a business is hard enough. So why make it harder with a dozen different apps that don't talk to each other? One for sales, another for inventory, a several one for accounting. Before you know it, you are drowning in software instead of growing your business. This is where O2 comes in. O2 is the only business software you'll ever need. It's an all in one fully integrated platform that handles everything. CRM, accounting, inventory, e-commerce, HR, and more. No more app overload, no more juggling logins, just one seamless system that makes it work easier.

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39:22It feels like we're going round in circles. I'm going to ask that man for directions. Hi there. We're trying to get to the state fairgrounds. Well, you're going to take a left at the old oak tree at this here road. Nah, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out. How is there signal out here? T-Mobile and US Cellular are coming together, so the network out here is huge. We get the same great signal as the city, saving a boatload with benefits. And there's a five-year price guarantee too. Okay, here's the turn. Actually, can you pull up the way to a T-Mobile store? America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T-Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five-year price guarantee. And now T-Mobile is available at US Cellular stores in Martinsburg. Best mobile network based on analysis by Oakloaf Speed Test Intelligence Data 2nd half of 2025. Bigger network. The combination of T-Mobile and US Cellular's network footprints will enhance the T-Mobile network's coverage. Price guarantee on talk text and data, exclusions like taxes and fees apply, see T-Mobile.com for details. When people turn to telehealth for weight loss, they're looking for real support.

40:24That's why more people are choosing orderlymets.com. OrderlyMets connect you with real doctors and access to proven GLP-1 medications like semi-glute side and terseptitide. No guessing, just a more supportive experience and all shift directly to your door and discrete packaging. Do your research. Ask questions. Then visit orderlymets.com. slash podcast for an exclusive offer. That's orderlymets.com. slash podcast. Individual results may vary now medical advice eligibility requires you site for details. 32.08 Man, do you have any more? Do you have one more story from Jamaica? Told you about the tree when we landed. Yeah, you told us about the... Yeah, I could say that the... How you got a strike on the catamaran. You told that at the live pod. Well, then no, the tree. I can tell you about the tree, just because I had alluded to it earlier. Thank you. So we had the tree that we could got five minutes off again now for Jamaica Plane because Bayesard hurt scene on the movies about this tree.

41:24So we got a Jamaican tree. Got it. Okay, so we got the Jamaican tree. And I'm telling you, they brought me an entire bushel that I could put in the front of my house. It was that much. And I go, Bayesard, I'm not particularly fond of tree. I probably won't even touch the tree. I know you'll touch the tree like one time just to say that you did. So the... I'm carrying this absolute bush shrub that most people would put in front of their house. And I'm just having to lug it around Jamaica. It was that much. Huh, it wasn't a leaf. It wasn't a stem. It was an absolute hedge that you see at the Georgia Stadium. Between the hedges. Oh, yeah, I know those. And so what do you know? We bring it to our hotel room and we're hiding this tree because it's so big. And then why don't we just throw it in the trash, you ask? Why don't you just throw it in the trash? Why? Dude, I'm the most paranoid person you know. I would never want a risk getting caught and throwing this tree in the trash. So every single morning and night

42:25we're shifting the tree. Sometimes we put it in here. Sometimes we wonder, does that tree smell weird? Maybe we should put it on the patio? I'll put the tree on the patio for a second. So the tree shifted from the patio to one of my bags to... That tree is just too much in my backpack. I don't want it in there. So the tree went to a suitcase. The tree went to a drawer. What if we just go to a trash can and put the tree in downstairs? There's cameras. Why would I... I'm not doing that. I'm paranoid. I'm not going to go put the tree in a trash. I'm not putting it in my own trash. Man, you're in Jamaica. So the final day comes and we still have this freaking tree that Baser out of an entire beautiful evergreen she had one pine needle of. Got it. Thanks Baser. Glad we paid $100 for a tree that we didn't even use to shade us but for five minutes. And so the very final day I just left the tree in our trash can in our room. And we're nervous the whole time. Well, and the reason we had to wait until March 8th

43:27is because I had to wait and see if we were going to get seized or in trouble or get fined by the hotel. We got all our money back. We never got in trouble. All is good so now I can tell the story. March 8th about the tree that we had in our room. That's why we had to wait until March 8th. Wow. The government, the local city, the police he is. They never came down on us. They may have saw the tree in the trash. New that we were americanos. They didn't care. They forgave. They threw away the tree. All is good. I got to be honest. I literally thought they loved trees in Jamaica. They do, but I don't think you can just outwardly have tree everywhere. I just assumed that Jamaica was a tree-friendly environment. And I mean, that's just me maybe being ignorant. I have no idea. But I just, oh, man, reggae, man. I thought that was the whole culture of Jamaica. I don't know anything about Jamaica though. Hopefully I told you enough. So now you do know something about it. One more piece of advice? Yeah, please. There was these, did you make it rum? How was it? Well, we, I drank it over ice one night and it was got off.

44:30Well, I'm not a rum drinker. But we met these dudes from Chicago. They were very good friends. Got it. And they said the rum was amazing. To the point that every, I may have told this already, that every day they would hide their rum bottles. You would get a eight ounce rum bottle in your room after the cleaning staff came through every day. Really? So they would hide the eight ounce bottle and they would smuggle back eight eight ounce bottles back to Chicago because you can't buy rum there or something. It's just a different type of rum. It tastes better, maybe fresh from the tree of Jamaica. It's got awful. So the rum ain't worth smuggling back. The tree is just too branchy. It ain't worth smuggling back. So if you went in our room on the final day, there was a trash can full of tree and half drank rum. But it ain't worth bringing back. So do you still talk to your friends from Chicago?

45:30No, they were really good friends. The mom actually almost looked like Nancy Guthrie. And so she was really sweet. And Bayzer was friends with her. And so their final breakfast. I hate that the story includes me being home over again, but I'm eating breakfast and Bayzer goes, how were you guys? How are you? How was Dunes River Falls? That was good. Oh my gosh. How did you guys like it last night? The performance. It was good. I didn't even barely talk to the two guys that were really good friends or best friends. And their mom, I bought her a diet coke and that was it. I had maybe two minutes of conversation with them. Bayzer act like it was our grandmother that she was talking to. So our goodbye was me at the breakfast table. Yeah, great. Great. Many of you guys enjoy Chicago. I don't care. I will never talk to you again. Have a good one. They're there. They're left smuggling eight bottles of mini rum. Did you go BMW back to their port? Did you go to the beach at all? Like is the beach right outside your thing?

46:31Yeah, the beach was, I'm talking footsteps. That's how we wanted it. South Beach, it was almost, South Beach, I would almost say 50 yards to the beach. Oh, which was a little too annoying to go do it. Yeah, this one. I could throw, like Arnold could throw a football and hit the water from where our pool was. Okay, and he's got kind of a noodle arm. So that's what I'm saying. But yeah, it was right there. And no BMW on the way back. We did a van with a bunch of other people and they were very slow. So anytime we'd get off, okay guys, hour and a half ride we're at the bathroom. For, we got 10 minutes here guys. For eight of the minutes, I was waiting for the people with canes and wheelchairs to get off the bus. So that's probably why you do private transfer. Yeah, that's cool. But I'll just go to the bathroom for one minute. I can't, y'all pinch it. No worries, no worries. You know what I'm saying? Joking a little bit, it'll cut off. I'll be back every time.

47:32And then when we got off, we get off at the airport. Here you go. I mean, not like we were cutting it close, but we had about an hour 45 until our flight, you know us. Paranoid. Oh my gosh, hour 45, dude. How are you doing it? The guy goes, all right. We are here at the airport. You guys, thank you so much. Mom, thank you for coming to Jamaica. Mom, enjoy it. Mom, see you later, mom. And we sit there and nobody's in a rush to get off the bus. And where our seats are would be very rude to cut in front of everybody. So we just sit there and they just slowly get up like they're at a DMV. I mean, they were in no hurry to live life. You got to respect it. But good gosh, do a private transfer. Because I mean, we're sitting there 10 minutes, then getting their bags wholly crap that process. I'm like, guys, give them a tip. Thank the guy drove the bus for 10 minutes. You don't have an hour and a half. You don't need to talk. They're like, thank you so much. And then where was that that we passed through?

48:32Okay, guys, get your bag and get to the airport. The vacation's over. You're not going to go visit that spot. You just drove by because it's over. Did the hurricane, when it came through, did it hit the clip a little bit? Oh my, the guy lost his house and you're asking him about him. Like, it's a tourist destination. Those houses that are half built, was that because of the hurricane? What I did notice is dude, it's bizarre construction there. You would see 80% of the houses they're half built mansions. So they either don't get the supplies or they run out of money. Run out of money. They just leave it half built the entire drive. And then the shacks and shanties that you do see, they got the Jamaican flag up. Proud of their country. That's cool, man. Did you see where Bolt lived? Anybody talk about Bolt? Yeah, I would bring him up and there was no language barrier. They spoke English and they didn't really talk about Bob Marley and they didn't really talk about Bolt. Oh, so there must be a new up-and-comer we don't know about in Jamaica.

49:34Um, sounds like a good trip, man. Teddy bear, though. I, that's why I keep looking behind me. See if teddy bears there. I mean nightmares. Dude, I started flinching around the second to last day. He was every time we come down to brunch. There's teddy bear. Hey, man, how was your sleep? How do you think it was, teddy bear? Just like any other sleep. I put my hand on the pillow, pull the covers over me and slap. Just like I have the poor, four previous nights, teddy bear. Oh, man. You guys have a good brunch. What are you going to do, man? Some eggs and bacon? Yes, teddy bear. We're American. We don't do any of the other stuff. We're going to go strictly cut and dry. The same thing we've gotten the four days previously. Ah, man. Have you tried, man, the orange juice machine, man? Have you punched it down, man? Man, listen, teddy bear, we just do the minute-made. I don't need you to operate this orange-use machine. Even though it's pretty awesome, they crush the oranges in front of you. Oh, that's cool. It is straight from the orange juice. Let me tell you, fresh squeezed orange juice. Game changer. That was actually one of the cooler things teddy bear showed us. Other than that, hey, man, if you tried the plantain, man, it's good mix.

50:37No, not teddy bear. Like I said, on day one, all we do is eggs and bacon. And a little waky. And then maybe some coffee and maybe a mobosa. That same thing we've done the last four days, teddy bear. Thank you, teddy bear. Thank you, teddy bear. Oh, man, I'll see you guys later, man. I'm still looking behind him. See if teddy bear's back there. Dude, I swore to God during the convention. I thought teddy bear was going to come. That had been awesome. If Baser invited him on the download. Did I save a picture? Question. I got a question. Right, Jamaica. Or would you go back out of 10? What are we talking to Jamaica is? I go the same exact resort. It was phenomenal. It was tops right now because the people are so freaking nice. The dive bar, do they treat me bad, yes. But dude, they were actually so genuinely awesome. Okay. And obviously they, you know, they're kissing the ring. The one guy goes, dude, you must be cool as S back in America, right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah. He's like, dude, you're freaking hilarious, man.

51:38You know, they're talking about it. And they're like, and then like, you're checked back in America. She's like the hottest. I'm like, yeah, she's like super model. See, they believe whatever you tell them. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm on a radio show in there. Oh, you host it. I'm like, don't ever hear it. Yeah, I'm the host of it. I'm so sure. I thought it was the host of a radio show. And my wife was a victorious secret model. I'm going to text my wife right now saying, hey, let's, uh, let's hit, uh, let's sit in Jamaica. Uh, where are we at, dude? That's good, man. Hey, dude, what the heck have I been doing, bro? I don't know. I think that was a great pod, dude. I think you can wrap it. You can hit the button. I don't know what you, they're not going to see the picture right now. We'll just post it on socialists. If we have it, if we don't, we don't. The driver. Oh, man, that's our driver. I don't know if I got teddy bear, though. Oh, Bayzer's got a picture of teddy bear. You would have, I wanted to play a song. You would have just music. Oh, dude, that's beautiful. Oh, no, no, no, let me see it.

52:39He was doing 50 cent. Uh, I'm a pimp. I'm on the street and I'm grinding on that. But, but he would play the sacks to it. I love it. Dude, look at that. Did you not lie? You're right on the beach. Yeah, we were right there. That's nice. I can post a couple of these. Then here's my people. Teddy bear is not in this, but these are the bros there. Oh, they're having a good time. We're chilling in the little villa. We had the little day bed. They're kind of smiling their butts off. Oh, they're on cloud nine, dude. They love life. Cloud nine. I mean, we gave grease to them also. When you're not supposed to, let's get out of here. Just stop it, man. That's great. They're pride in your country. Oh, they got Jamaica flags everywhere, dude. That's pride in your country. This guy had two on his shanty. That's legit. How many of you have three? He's got one on the don't worry. Yeah, he does. How many American flags you got at the house? We got one. If it was up to Bayes, we would have about five more. Okay. Start trading crypto on Kraken with just $10.

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