Side Stories: Squatch Watch 2026

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1:00See MarathonRewards.com for details. She ain't surviving as native of the target of a mysterious cabal of eccentric power, hungry, lethal, billionaire family. When her estranged sister is pulled into their trap, the do must fight the high council for the seat that controls the world. Double the nothing. Great movie. I saw it. Just fun as the first one. Ready to not do. Here I come. It's only in theaters. March 20th. There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left side stories.

2:03That's one of the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Was it huge? No, small. Rowan. I mean, they had come out a little pussy. Yeah. Of course. That's the thing. Yeah. Is that how we start? No, I don't think so. Do all these have these sections? Yeah, I just want to say, you know, we had a absolutely fantastic weekend. Gives you can hear my voice is destroyed. Ed's voice is destroyed. I'm a little better now. Yeah, but my voice is destroyed during the show. Yes, but we had so much fun in Urbana after our indie show. Great show and indie, but Urbana with special big towns with things to do to people to talk to. But I seriously, there are times that when Eddie and I are out, that I almost feel like Magneto, where I have not control, but I'm using a man's mutant

3:07like ability to empathize with pigs to sort of weaponize it to find good pork sandwiches. I know what I'm doing, dude, but it is you have this ability. You empathize with pigs. You love pigs. I love them. You will probably talk to a pig. Yeah, but you also the smarter than toddlers, but you seem to know instinctually then also where the good pork is. Well, all right. Here's the thing with delicious pork and food in general. Things that are loved taste better. Does that make sense? Like if you love it and you treat it well, it is more delicious after you kill it. That's why it's every Dom or Kiston first. Exactly. Welcome to side stories. My name is Hennory Soprowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larsen and we had, I mean, that's why I want to say this is because we'll just do Uncle Corner up top. Yeah, exceptional pork sandwich. It was really good.

4:07Well, I had an eggplant part. Yeah, he was healthy. I was healthy. Yeah, he was healthy. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing because everyone that's what you know about an eggplant part. That's the first thing that comes to my head. Oh, the light health. She could do too much today. Oh, I don't need all that meat. I need something that is only oil. Well, I was going to get the Italian sandwich and then she said that the eggplant part was particularly good there and she was correct. She was and that was what was the name of the place again? It was Baldurata's porketta and Sicilian sausage in Urbana, Illinois. Shout out to you, fuckers. And we also asked for recommendations and guess what you guys did? Not a single one of you told us to go to Baldurata's. I had to find it on my own. We had to find that on our own. I'm such a good sandwich, Hunter. You have no idea. I'll find a good sandwich in a fucking pile of dead dogs. Yeah, I feel like I'm using like a psychic Native American to help me find oil. You know what I mean? That's how it feels. It feels like I'm using a kind-hearted empathetic ability

5:08to point it towards destruction and I don't mind it because I win. I got the porketta sandwich because I'm not a fucking cook. It's hard to. I got to tell you, like because like Henry, if you're on the road with Henry, Henry's yelling, where's the food? Where it's not fast enough? Find it faster. We're making a lesson now. No, fast enough. No, no, no, no. But I found Baldurata's porketta and Sicilian sausage. And boy, oh boy, do I love you Italian Midwest ladies. Those Italian Midwest ladies, I wanted to fold them up. I wanted to put them in a basket and I wanted to take them home with me. I wish we could borrow them at least for a month. But yeah, just go check that out. I probably could borrow them for a month. No one would know they were missing. No, I mean, there's nothing there. No one's there. Baldurata's is there and if Baldurata's goes down, that whole fucking town collapses. No, Baldurata's comes home. Baldurata's comes to California. You're right. But yes, you guys go really good work out there.

6:09Except for those, they did not recommend it. And that's where you failed us. And I will never forgive you for that. But we're going to come back to Tirabana because that's how good the show was. The Lincoln Square Mall was weird. Well, that's the whole thing. We're going to leave that there. That was just like a garage sale that was the inside. The sky's just a mall. Yeah, but that's for them. And again, we made fun of that to their faces. And that's special. And we only do that on side stories live. And you can go and get tickets for that. I'm last podcast on the left.com because Eddie and I, we do come up with material. We talk about fucking my college shit. But we also, we will absolutely eat in your town and roast the living fuck. That's right. In April, we're going to be in Anchorage Fairbanks and Lexington. So come check us out. Lexington Kentucky. And that's going to be good. I can't wait for that one. So it's with you this week. I just want you to know, up way off the up top, we're not going to hit an update today. Because let's all let's take a break. Yeah, I mean, we deserve a mental health break. We all did it. I was watching and stuff. We're going we are going to talk about no, no, no,

7:12we're are going to talk about the Italian Trump next week. Hopefully we also have a bunch of other stories to go deep into. There's there's so much still going. It's still there. Don't worry about it. They we did get to say, look, we're not doing an update here. Sure. But we did get to tell our driver all about the Epstein files on their way from Urbana back to Indianapolis. And we scared him. We also got to tell you remember that anonymous married couple. We met at the rooftop bar. Oh, yeah, I told them all about the Epstein files. So don't worry. We are hitting the streets. We're directly delivering Epstein information to the people. Yeah. And that chick she told you she was a real nurse. Oh, trauma nurse trauma nurse. And then she told you about shrimping. Oh, well, that was one of my favorite things. So I told her about the Epstein files and she told me about shrimping, which she learned from her nurse Instagram, which was like she follows a bunch of nurses. And shrimping is when you are man and you come into a woman's ass.

8:17Yeah. And then you suck the calm out of the ass. So it's not felching. It's shrimping. It's not like Bubba. It's not Bubba Gump. Shrimping. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, you can you can eat shrimp and do it. I think it should be called Krillinit. Well, that'd be cute. Yeah, Krillinit because it's closer to Krillin the shrimp. This is why I find it just shrimping at just as the second someone's toes is according to Urban Dictionary. But that's not what this nurse showed me. No, no, she had a whole video about it. And she was on a staycation with her husband. It was one of those things where it was like she clocked Henry and was like, I think he needs to know about shrimping. And I was like, this woman knows how to read a fucking room. Yeah, dude, I've never experienced that. Yeah, I was just I was so happy. But also because I mean, I led with the Epstein files. Yeah, yeah, that's true. And it really sets the temperature. And really does. Because again, we don't we didn't do it on the show this week because we did it to purse P2P. We're out there grassroots ruining people's nights. Yeah, because like that was the thing. Our stupid driver even did the thing. He was a nice guy.

9:17Fine, fine guy. Fine guy. He made me listen. We plug the show. We actually subscribe to the show. I texted him the show. So he's probably listening. Hey, Jim, how you doing? I'm going to Jim, but Jim did he say, hey, oh, you know, I'm a bit of a Trump fan, right? And then we're like, unfortunately, he punched a 13 year old in the head while she was trying to suck his dick. And then he was just like, ooh, I'm like, ooh, what? And I was like, go check it out. You know what I mean? Because we did the whole thing, but we first said like, you know, like we went and we softballed because first he asked you, like, what are your jokes on AOC? And we're like, you guys have it. You're sexually obsessed with her. Yeah. And then we then said, like, I don't know why you're sexually obsessed with her. I think she's beautiful. I do think she's gorgeous. Yeah, I also just like, she doesn't really enter my mind quite a bit. And she's also whatever. Right now she's doing her job. As she needs to do. But he was then kind of like to ask about the Clinton. So he was obviously kind of snowballing. Then we got to do, which was awesome. Say like, well, obviously, Hillary Clinton's a villain, Bill Clinton's a villain. We believe that they should be probably in the head. Like we couldn't give a fuck. Kill him. That's what we kept saying. We're like, we don't give a fuck.

10:18Like we don't care. If you arrest our people, they're not our people. None of these people are our people. You know who's my people? Ed. Yeah, I like Henry. Rob's cool. Rob's my people money. I like Ernie, my new dog. Yes. You know, I think he's cool. And that's about it. Julie's on the level. Julia, Natalie, I claim Natalie. That's it. It's the only people I will claim. As like representative of me, I would fight to keep you from prison. I like holding more than Bernie Sanders. Yeah, it's the truth is the fucking truth. I admire Bernie Sanders. I'm friends with holding. You know, it's distinctly different. I don't care. I couldn't care what happens in Bernie Sanders. When he dies, unfortunately, I'm not going to shed a tear. I'm going to be like, replace him with somebody else. He gives a fuck. They're replaceable. Who gives a shit about a senator? Men. But just how? Well, how would you feel if Bernie Sanders got Hammer Maniac. I will say honestly, I think that would hit me hard. I'm only saying this. I think I'd be upset if he got Hammer Maniac. Only as a true crime goal. This is the only reason why I'm even saying this.

11:19I'm just saying that it would be great for the show. Fantastic for the show. It'd be great for the show. So that is my name. If Bernie got Hammer Maniac, it would be great. I'm just going to say, I'm going to go, I'm going to go, I'm going to go, we're going to go, we're going to go. You're going to turn me into soup? How, what are you going to turn me on? I'm like, so I drink soup, but you're going to turn me into soup? As happening to elderly vans heads. How are they so thin? How are they so weak in their structure? One person, one person out of the, with all that head is that, give it away. All I think is, I'm talking to the one little, let's go, stuck with them all being hammered. But no, that's, we don't hope. We don't wish that. And we don't wish that. But it'd be good for us. Yes. Just because it's good for us, doesn't mean we want it to happen. Just like Trump getting elected. Great for our taxes, but I didn't want it to happen. Did not even that great for our taxes, Eddie. It isn't? No. Fuck. Yeah. I wanted the full removal. I can't absolutely maximum. We kind of disagree on this. So I don't, we don't need to spend too much time on it. But I do want to give a shout out to horror, representing at the Oscars this year. Fucking sinners, winning weapons, winning two people. We interviewed,

12:20had big wins at the Oscars. Big fucking deal. That's the cast on the left push, baby. We did a bump, dude. Yeah, we were. Sinners was nothing until you fucking owe us, Eddie. You fucking owe our God. Where's my joke of I want one of the arms? Yeah, ugly step sister got a nom. Really good. Very cool Frankenstein. I didn't like it. He was fine. But I'm happy it was nominated. It was beautiful. It was very gorgeous. It was beautiful. And it was very silly to me, though. Young Jacob Alority was, he was very good at that. He didn't have to talk a lot. Which I think really worked for him. He talked plenty. I did, he did. But it's still. Frankenstein talked way more than he should have. But he did a good job. Frankenstein's monster. The monster. I thought he did a good job. I thought Jacob Alority was fine. I am sort of looking forward to the bride. Bride looks cool, even though everyone says it sucks. Whatever. It looks awesome. I'll take a bunch of drugs. But you know, like this is the Oscars, the only thing I'm obviously, I'm slightly hesitant about, about horror getting too far into the Oscars world. Only just because they don't want all of that money

13:20to destroy the beautiful ecosystem that is inside of the horror world. I think people, no matter what, people will make $3 horror movies for all of time. They better. The weather, the weather. I'm trying to, I'm trying to make one. Yeah, so I think it was a great year for horror. Last year was two with the substance. I'm all about this. Fucking give it to horror. I'm, I'm here for it. I just think it's awesome that amazing filmmakers are also bringing an elevated world of horror out to everybody. Amy Madigan getting it. Yes. That Oscar was fucking amazing. Can't believe that weapons was, I mean, weapons was also a wonderful cultural moment. Yeah. And just, it is nice to see. It just feels like culture in a way. Not I know if it's healing. I don't think it's healing, but it's just good to see people getting murdered and rewarded for it. Yep. But that is, in fantasy. In fantasy. Yeah. So in all of this news, we have a lot going on, Eddie.

14:21I got a question before we get started. Please. I'm just very curious on what your thoughts are. I don't even know what to deal with this. I don't know what's real and what's not anymore. Is Netanyahu alive? I can't, I have not seen proofies alive. I don't know what to feel. I'm very curious. These videos that I've seen of him. I think of at least they do not seem real. I feel we might be the AI. This is the world of conspiracy theory that we are now heading towards. I know some view. I mean, some you've done this to me. I know. And there was some there right now, there is some chatter. The Benjamin Netanyahu might have been killed in a way or died. Normal man. And that now he is sort of being replaced by what seems to be AI video. Now, that's a massive conspiracy, that we don't have proof. No major news network or source is reporting on this. Now, the problem is is that he did this Rudruzlum Cafe video, right?

15:22Like they're saying, oh, if you look, but you can see the fact that his ring disappears. And the coffee doesn't move. No, and this just doesn't seem like, I don't know if this video is like a distraction. Like not put out by them and like make us confused. Like, I don't know what's going on. None of us do. I don't believe anything anymore. I got caught by the Kisleen Maxwell video in Canada. And the Epstein one. Yeah, I got caught by that too. So I don't even fucking know. I think that they are comfortably in a world of smoking mirrors and that we are not going to know for a while. Yeah, I would actually bet at this point that he's alive. I think he's alive because they are but that does not mean he's not hurt or sick. Or something. And so I would think that if he was dead, they would probably that that would be a pretty big deal. It'd be a huge fucking day. And we're not yet at the point.

16:23We have yet to see it yet. I don't know because we're not yet at the full which government's going to be the first to hardcore try to sell us that their guy isn't dead yet. I mean, we haven't we haven't decided. We haven't gotten to there yet. So I don't know whether or not they are going to be the first. I'm not going to put it past. Their current administration. Seriously. Yeah. To be the forefront on where we might we might gain this to extend this out because we can't say we're on kill them. Fucking first thing out. We really can't because it's going to make every it's going to stop the war early. You know, I don't know what it's going to do. I don't want to probably escalate. There's no goals for the war. There's no that's all just total utter chaos. Just keep talking to not talk about the fact that the president's a pedophile. So it doesn't matter. We're here now. We are just kind of ripping the band-aids off of a bunch of stuff and they're just letting it fly and we're going to just receive the end bit of it. I'm also going to say in staying within the world of conspiracy theory

17:25that cash Patel can go fuck himself in trying to threaten California with this fake shit about the Iranian drones attacking us. It is literally just making shit up. He just won't care on his side. Yes, it doesn't matter. He's not he wants nothing. He has no he has nothing in his head. He literally is an empty vessel just like everybody else inside of the administration right now. He does not care about a single fucking thing besides social media. Yeah. So he is not trying to catch anybody. Nancy Guthrie's fucking salsa right now while he was partying and over there with the soccer team. I can't believe he should have to find this woman. Yes. So she's fucked. That lady was fucked now. He didn't even care about that. That's gone. That story's gone. And so another another failure of his every single thing that he's doing is a failure and he is now trying to scare California out of spite. The same thing now. He attached JD Vance. It's a quote-unquote look for fraud in California.

18:26Again, it's all just like weird. That's what they did in Minnesota the fucking in order to attack them. But what Henry's talking about in case you don't know it wasn't it kind of was swept under the rug because it's fake because it was fake. It came out there's a news report that Iran was going to fucking hit South Southern California with drones. That might have been stolen from a place inside of America. That was one of Henry's. And they were like a ship deported just out in the Pacific Ocean. And they were going to come and attack us. And then the FBI said that and then they had no evidence to support it. They just trying to scare us. And then guess what? It's like we are in a surveillance state in which we have total space dominance. You mean to tell me that United States of America that has the biggest military force in the galaxy cannot see from space that there are drones haphazardly being flown at us from 9,000 miles away to a landlock there. Like you have to be fucking kidding me.

19:29I'm sorry. So he checked. So maybe he had made me particularly angry. A little bit late, but I should have done this a while ago. All the pamphlets? Yeah. Oh, pamphlets. Yeah, yeah. We can give it to him. Yeah, he'll come up. It's been a while. Yeah, it's been a while. It's been a while. I've got allergies. There it is. It's fine. I have allergies. You got allergies. I have a scratchy throat. That's why I'm like this right now. I have my sinuses are acting up on me. Say something nice about Cash Patel. You can do it. I'll go first. I'll go first. He's a fun person to hate. See? You can find something. He has nice skin. It's not horrible. It's not horrible. See? See? Sometimes you just got to do that. I barely cut. I barely cut the ridge this time.

20:30That was that was tough. Right from your place. And we're ready to launch in 10, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, we're saving money. That's right. Rocket money is taken off and it's helping you get to your stars and reach your heights that you want to get up by the moon. That's right. You're going to be saving so much money that you're going to build a spaceship just like Jeff Bezos and you're going to put a pop star on it and they're going to float around the sun. You know why? Because you canceled that TV subscription. You forgot your hat. Because you canceled that food delivery app that you forgot you got in 2022. All right. These are problems. They're stealing from you. All these apps. They hate you. All they want is your money.

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23:33Well, now it's time to get to some real news, Eddie. Really? Oh, yeah. Because we've been going through just so much fucking unbelievably bummer and so much bummer information. There's so much bad news out there. And honestly, it's a distraction from what we should really be paying attention to. Yeah, because the side story curse hit us last week. It did. It did because we were too busy up our asses talking about the pedophilia of ball that runs a government. So we did not get to talk about probably one of the most significant moments in Bigfoot history that has happened since a lot of these, well, a lot of what are these kind of soft faced men that I've seen on these podcasts, what they have said is that we have not seen a Bigfoot flap like this since 1978. When we had over, I believe they believe the statistic was that we had Bigfoot activity in 10 states in 1978. Wow. Yes, but what we missed was truly one of the biggest

24:37you have series of big foot sightings that happened in a concentrated area. No fun. No, I why? Eddie, why ruin it with that? Why ruin it with that? We don't need that they saw tracks and tuffs and they heard several vocalizations. Bigfoot flap in Ohio, and it's not just the sides of the boys working at the deli. Yeah. We have got this. It is a huge, huge fucking story, a dramatic surge. And Bigfoot sightings occurred last week from March 6th to March 10th. We had literally eight sightings and over five days. So do these people know each other? The Bigfoot? The sightings people? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. They're strangers there. We gotta remember, this is in Portage County, Ohio. This is out in the middle of nowhere. It's about an hour and a half south east of Cleveland. So we're close to Akron. We're close to Akron. We're close to our people. Cleveland seems to be claiming this. Cleveland can go fuck, it's Akron.

25:38Ask, I want to ask our Akron people how they feel about that, okay? Because Cleveland's trying to steal the one thing that you have, okay? So Portage County, which is kind of next and all this, they're saying that they saw these Bigfoot, right? Big feet, Bigfoot. That's what we call the multiples of Bigfoot or Bigfoot. We saw two separate creatures that seem to be seen multiple times. One was a 10-foot, black, Bigfoot, right? And the other one was a six-foot, brown, Bigfoot. Maybe a lady. Maybe a lady. Who knows? Now, it seems to have gone along a river. Now across the Portage and Trouble County, it seems to be kind of affecting this, a lot of this was reported by one podcast. A guy that runs a podcast called Bigfoot Society that I ended up listening to, he also did a little crossover with blurry creatures. I'm gonna give him a shout out because that's where I got some of their information. Like listening, they really did go deep in on this. Obviously, the guy from Bigfoot Society is Jeremiah Byron, is sort of, he's definitely the John Keel of this.

26:41He largely goes on vibes. He says that he gets sightings every day between this and he also works with this project called the Bigfoot Mapping Project, which is truly a remarkable resource for putting Bigfoot's on a map. Yeah, but anyone can just add their sighting. Yeah, I could be like, I saw Bigfoot at the Burbank Mall. You probably did. But yeah, but I could just write that on the sighting map. So the sighting map seems flawed to me. No, but you see what he's done here is that they are color coded. So I believe the greens are the ones that he himself has when they went and they verified. So Jeremy Byron would go and get these series of sightings and then he would call them to sort of get the whole, just stops, right, to get the whole story. And to him, his belief was that I know when I hear the truth and then this is when I'm hearing is the truth. So this is a undocumented.

27:41We got a bunch of these things, all right? And they all got, it's interesting because you click on these and they give you a little description of what happened. Yo, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's very interesting. Now, the first report received by Bigfoot Mapping Project, this comes from this AOL.com. Oh, they still do it stuff. Oh, sure. March 6th, the first one took place in broad daylight. A witness saw out in the field in this area when they locked eyes with a nine foot tall brown-haired Sasquatch. The terrifying thing is that this happened broad daylight. Yes. 1223, that was March 6th. Same day, they see another Bigfoot, right? A hiker heard something unusual as they entered in the woodland not far from the previous day's sightings. Next day, the footsteps were too low and too spaced out in a way too heavy for a deer or another hiker. Then just 40 yards away, a massive eight foot tall creature stepped out from behind the trees. Dark, brown hair, long arms, and it turned its face

28:45just to look directly at the hiker. Now, the thing we know about Bigfoot can't turn its head. Oh, really? No, why not? Don't know. It doesn't have neck bones? I don't know. They say it moves like a gorilla where it moves this whole body right to turn and look at you. Right? So that's a big, distinct thing about Bigfoot. And that's how Jeremiah knows it's a Bigfoot. Oh, because it turned its whole body to see him. That's what he says, bears don't do that. Bears don't fucking do that. It said it was bigger than a bear. Bigger than a bear. And he said it was nine feet tall. Yeah, they can be much bigger than bear. Right? I think that's bigger than a bear. Oh, it is. This one vocalized what it saw. And it went, and it vibrated through the trees. Don't Bigfoot have a high pitched voice, but that I think it was shitting. Oh, you think it was shitting? Yep. The search for the area later revealed two large humanoid footprints. Now it's even keeps going. We have another one go. They say another woman saw seven foot tall creature, dark reddish brown fur, the beast,

29:45with a big fat, round muscular arms and a powerful, heavy frame. It ran past the woman's house. And the shit what she said was, it didn't seem like no deer. No, it didn't seem like a deer, because it was on two legs. Bears go on two legs. Sometimes when they hurt their front paws, they walk on two legs and it confuses people. The next day, Jeremiah and Byron got a call from someone who quote said straight up, I'm not a Bigfoot person. All right. And then they said they were passing the Tinker's Creek area when a six and a half foot lean brown Bigfoot appeared in their lane, but going against the flow of traffic. And she said they were so close that the witness said that their daughter could have reached out and hit the Bigfoot with a roar. So it was walking along the highway? There was all no, it was on the river. I was in the river. There's river and then the German Shepherd went running after the Bigfoot, right? And then it was scared. They came back and scared. And that's how Jeremiah also said he knew it was real, because the dog was scared. Now, all right. So I have a lot of family in Ohio. Shout out Cincinnati.

30:46I know this is kind of far. They're very tall. My family. Julie's family's very tall. Yeah, they're tall. Yeah, are you calling them Bigfoot? I'm just saying I noticed the pattern of information. The thought that I was trying to convey was that it is cold as fuck there right now. Who are these people hiking? Crazy people. Who's hiking in the middle of goddamn winter? People with no families. It's fucking snow in every goddamn day. Yeah, people don't know how. People who don't know how to have fun. People that are miserable on the inside don't want to make others miserable on the outside. I know. That's what people do. That's what's in our network, right? Who does the thing where he's like, he refuses to wear pants or socks or shoes, no matter what, because he's like, oh, he doesn't get cold. I've seen him in the snow and Brooklyn in shorts and sandals and it freaks me out. He says, I don't get cold, right? He says, I don't get cold. They're guys like that. They're like that. They're sick. They're attached to the cold. So there's eight different groups of people walking around in the snow.

31:47No, what? No, random people that live out in the woods and some are hiking, one was hiking. A lot of these people are just home and hearing these things out in the woods as they go along this like, northeasterly pattern along the river. So what is Bigfoot eat? Stuff. What do you mean, stuff? I mean, it seems that Bigfoot is more often than not. I'm nervous. He does eat, he might eat so first. I'm maybe, maybe. He might eat squirrels. Has anyone ever found Bigfoot shit? One of the major issues is the fact that you would assume that a nine foot creature that lives. Huge piles of shit. Would have quite a bit of scat. We probably would have found more of their dead bodies. We would probably would have seen more of them on your hands. You probably would, of course. Yes, they could have had fewer rules for their shit. We find dinosaurs there under the ground. Well, you know, but they're not Bigfoot. And they're not a Bigfoot because I do find it interesting. One of the witnesses though, which is why Jeremiah Byron ended up bringing the story to blurry creatures

32:49because I guess over in blurry creatures, they're kind of more like us where they like to do the woo and they also do, I think they're a bit Christian. So we'll find out. I mean, I think it's all, I was like a couple of things. I said a couple of things about Christ, which seems to be within the Bigfooters community, which is like, because the Jeremiah Byron said something. Oh, they're willing to believe in something that doesn't exist. Yeah. Right? He said something along the lines of, what if you ever get too close to a Bigfoot? Well, you know, like what happens if something happens to you and Jeremiah Byron did say something along the lines of, he's like very lighthearted. He's like, well, if I die, I just get to go to heaven sooner. And all the guys were like, yeah, yeah. And they all kind of said that very flippantly and moved on. And then I was like, ooh. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's an extremist point of view. Well, it's fine. It's fine. But Bigfoot's not. You sent me three hours of fat men talking about Bigfoot. Yes. To like dip for research for this 10 minute dip. Yeah. I'm just like, no way. I just saw that. I was just like, you said too long. One was an hour and 50 minutes. Here.

33:49Play this video. Play this little section I have that I put in here. I'm not watching this. I want you to play this one little section I have from discovering Bigfoot. Because that was the other thing that the dude from Bigfoot society, you already got married. Play this. No, she has to hear this. She has to. Natalie gets this. She gets this. No, you have to go to it. It's saved at the four minute point. So this is from, this is a clip that from a Bigfoot documentary called Discovering Bigfoot by a guy by the name of Todd Standing, who is an absolute moron. But these guys are like, he's done a lot of pictures of Bigfoot. He swears you could call Bigfoot. But here I just want to hear what's his number. You'll see. Oh, it's 865309. Do you believe in miracles? No. Would you believe me if I told you there was a small mammal that flew around at night completely blind and to survive, it had to consume thousands of mosquitoes every night. It's a mess.

34:50Sounds impossible. How about a small brain aquatic mammal that spends its whole life building intricate aquatic structures while surviving on wood? No. You probably would think all that's impossible, except you know that bats and beavers are a real living thriving species, one of many that currently reside here in the force of North America. Not to let the country learn about North America. He then combines it all with Bigfoot to Bigfoot. Yes. Got a good point. What do you mean he's got a point? Rob is a Bigfooter. No. You have to know Rob's a Bigfooter. I have not. I have not. But you have sunk more time than any of us into Bigfoot. I don't believe in him though. Yes. But you are very interested. Yes. I watched Harry and the Henderson's about 35 times. Harry and the Henderson's actually. It's not a little film. And it also has quite a bit of pretty detailed lore in it. Oh no, they did a good job. Like the guy that plays the Hunter's face off a real Bigfoot Hunter, like that French guy. The French guy's face off a real guy. Like it's kind of interesting.

35:50There's actually some like Bigfoot lore in that. But mostly to have it all go back is that one interesting description, the final description of the Bigfoot was when this woman described about how the Bigfoot came out of the brush and that she couldn't literally describe its face. She said it was blurry. She looked at it and it was blurry and she couldn't do it. And she says, I know what I saw, but I didn't know what I saw. But then he could say that it's because of which I kind of find interesting. One big Bigfoot theory. One Bigfoot theory I really like comes from the New Curks about this like one idea of Bigfoot being a ghost of an old form of human. Okay. Right. That we're in the world. That has more legs than anything else I've heard. Imagine if Loch Ness Monster was a ghost of a pleziosaur. Like imagine if it was this thing, that's a funny dumb idea, right?

36:51Cool. Yeah. That's a funny thing to believe. And so this idea of like, or a thought form, this idea that we have thought about these things and they are out there and there are mysterious things in the woods. But the main issue I do believe according to physicists, I mean, biologists is the idea that the main issue is that Bigfoot would require a massive amount of resources. So a large, a minimal, that large would require the food, like the food intake for a minimal that large would be very noticeable, it would just be extremely noticeable. It would be the same as any other nine foot tall creature that would need protein and you would need all these things and it would hunt and like that's kind of the major issue. It's like, that's kind of where they said they're like, you can kind of maybe think it could hide. It could maybe be an herbivore. It doesn't need protein necessarily to get that big cows, I mean, I guess prontosauruses and those old animals, but they didn't live very buffaloed, buffaloed isn't fucking. I think that buffalo will eat a, you put serious on, I mean, I don't know, side stories

37:53help. P-O-T-O-T-L-A-G-O-L. The conbocerus is fucking herbivore. Are they all herbivores? I think they eat like birds and squirrels if they can, right? No. I don't know. I know those birds pecking at its head all day. But I think if it can get one and it'll eat one. No. It's an herbivore. I don't know, but I don't know. Panda bear. Side stories help P-O-T-L-A-G-O-T-L-A-G-O-L. I don't know. They will not eat a bird. Yeah, that's just Google AI saying whatever it is. I don't believe it on this case. Google AI is just trying to calm women down. That's all it's trying to do because I had a deal with that. I literally had to explain to Natalie about like how certain dogs get stolen. Because they are intact generally, right? And they get stolen to be bred, right? And then it's essentially who took Johnny Gosh, but for dogs. Yeah, people said that. And she started to cry. She immediately got so upset with me for saying that. And then I had to go like, no, baby, that doesn't exist. There's no way that exists. No, I'm sorry. I'm crazy.

38:54I'm crazy. I'm evil. I'm crazy. I had one type. We were driving. Julie was driving. We were in New Jersey. It was like raining and it was at night. And this cat ran in front of the Julie's car in the highway and she killed it. And I was just never looking at her and just be like, I can't believe you hit that possum. You know, I just feel like, oh my god, that possum. Like clearly a cat. Oh, no, no, that possum. I kid a dirty, dirty possum. I bet it. I was really most possums only run into the road if they have rabies. So I'm certain that actually we did a good thing. So I actually, all of this being said, I can't stop thinking about the ghost thing. I think that's to interrupt you. But that's just now I'm just like locked in like, what a framos a ghost. What if I get to like, you know, what if I get to find my boy? Well, you know, they have, they talk about this with animal ghost, soul, time, people. I actually would love to, and this is finally get some woo on back on here. Side stories, L-P-O-T-L, gmail.com.

39:56I'd love to hear stories of you getting haunted by your pets. Yeah. I have heard it. I would love a pet sayer. Multiple times. A pet sayer. I'm into it. Well, the psychic, can we talk to one? No, you want to get into bigger trouble than we did fucking be on the veil? Yeah. Cause talk about just when I'm jettling a good boy, it's just like the pet psychic world is so funny because it's so deeply manipulative and my mom, my mom gets it all the time. Cause it's like, there's some about it. For some people that can smell it, like my mom has had multiple people go up to her and be like, I talk to your dog, you have to laugh. And she's happy. She wants to know she met you, happy, and you're just like, why are you people doing this to each other? I had a stewardess telling me that champ loves me, that she was, it's obvious. She was taking up his messages on the plane, obviously, champ loves me. Yeah, it's not like, I'm like sitting here one or two champs sending mixed signals. No, he didn't like being trapped in that little container.

40:58Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, read your palm harbor, God help us, but that's why, but I would say that like open your mind a little bit to the idea that there might be something, there might be something going on. It is interesting to have so many witnesses. They call the police, the newspaper, Scott, like the news actually came and investigated the police came. They came and investigated it. They found nothing. There is people really shook and up. They saw something weird. And I think that, you know, things can hide in the woods, sure. But the one thing that this guy said, I will say there was a couple of theories that he had that kind of, I was like, all right, you probably shouldn't say that. Where he was saying one theory, where he was afraid of, he's like, well, you know, there's a fault line that runs through Ohio. Oh, shut up. And what if these bigfoot, I start to feel the little, little by my brush and they came up through the earth. No, they're moving down there like where the worlds are going to bigfoot country, Delaware.

42:01Oh, they're moving the Biden town, they're moving to do pod country. Well, because they think that maybe the chemicals can hold the earth together because they're out there and they're staying. Maybe they are warning us about a big earthquake that will finally bring Cleveland to the sea. As was foretold, as was foretold, I think all the burger grease is holding it in place. The, um, now here, the one thing I did find interesting about the big foot thing, because I read the articles, um, was that they were saying how he's like walking, how he's moving and he's interesting gate. He was in a specific gate. Yeah. Well, not just that. He's nomadic. Yes. It's not in what he doesn't have a home. No. He's nomadic. Yeah. We were. We were before we made, before we decided to create things surpluses, we sort of understand that we could stay and we could create habitats and then eventually that turn into governments and eventually that turned into, uh, glory holes and guys doing daisy chains and all sorts

43:06of dead and strip malls. And you know, well, we know as the United States have got to America. So bigfoot don't like live in a cave. I, I don't know, Eddie. I think they disappear at night. Yeah. You think when they get, but most of the sightings are at night. Hmm. Some of them. That's when they wake up. They go bathroom started with you saying that there was a bigfoot sighting during the day and that is rare. That is rare. And now you're saying that they don't, they can't be seen at night. I'm saying when they go to sleep, they disappear. That if, if bigfoot is physically real, I don't know where he sleeps. He might sleep on a ground. Of course he sleeps on the ground. I mean, underground maybe in a tree. No, we'd see him in a tree big. He's fucking you. This thing says bigfoot have been known to sleep in an abandoned building. Oh, this is weird. Jesus. Oh, God. I'm done. No, you know what it is is that I think bigfoot is still a mystery. I do believe there is a sort of spiritual psychic and energy to it.

44:08There's something else. If we really want to get into it, I'm not going to immediately say it's all fake. Because I still think that there is, there's something out there in them woods. There's something out there in them woods, but you never know what it is and we'll never know probably. And I don't know if we need a bigfoot to come out. A bigfoot will literally need to like show up. I feel like it in this level too, in this year of our Lord 2026 with all of the bad pop culture and all the bad stuff, like I just feel like a bigfoot is this close to being on like Jake Paul. It would have been really helpful for the show, you know, psyche of America of bigfoot just like came out and like did an interview. Yes. It would help everybody. But we're not there yet. And I don't think we ever will be because I don't think it's the right time for him. Yeah. Can I say something real quick just as a public service announcement? Yes. Costco's recalling meatloaf. So if you bought a bunch of meatloaf, if you're in line, stay in line. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Return it. Return it. Return it.

45:08Return it. Return it. Return it. Costco's. Be careful. It's almost every state. Is a Google alert for me. It's one to let you guys know. It's a something that popped in me. I just want to let you. I just got a Costco membership. I'm not scared of Costco. I just want you to know. I'm getting back you off of Costco. We're doing our spring things giving I gotta get my lamb. No. Yes. So I gotta go to Costco. It's the only place to get people a place of good. That's it. So if you bought a meatloaf pack at Costco in the past, a couple weeks, return it. Love with mashed Yukon potatoes and glaze. Oh, wow. Salmanella. No one is dead yet. Not yet But if you die by meatloaf, we will honor you on the show. Yeah, even if meatloaf itself is dead He is dead. So don't eat him either. No, no, no, you don't need to chew it on the bone That's pure automotive joy. I'm Peter the owner of muscle car junior It started as a hobby. Then I started posting about it before I knew it

46:11I built a business for storing muscle cars on Facebook marketplace and the community of car lovers on Instagram Today new customers send me what's that message is from all over Not bad for a hobby Learn how meta helps over 35 million American businesses like Peter's grow at meta.com slash community Bringing your business dreams to life takes hard and about a thousand decisions a day That's why Atlantic Union Bank's knowledgeable bankers are here for you with the right guidance I'm customized solutions to help you reach your business goals So whether you're planning your next move upgrading your space or scaling to meet demand We make sure your business is ready for what's ahead because we're big enough to support you It's small enough to know you Atlantic Union Bank anyway you bank You Ryan Reynolds here for mid-mobile the message for everyone paying big wireless way too much Please for the love everything goodness world stop with mint you can get premium wireless for just

47:12$15 a month of course if you enjoy overpay no judgments, but that's weird Okay, one judgment Anyway, give it a try at minmoble.com slash switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate for three months only Then full price plan options available taxes and fees extra see full terms at minmoble.com Now we have a couple of other stories we can get to because oh the also just you know There was a giant documentary that specifically disproved the Patterson Paddy the big big-foot Paddy. Oh really? Yeah, yeah because they sell rehearsal footage Why would you keep the rehearsal footage? I just doesn't make sense to me you fucking if you're like head of a conspiracy and you're like creating it Just to destroy the footage. I need you to spend more time with big footers to understand why I need you to spend more time with big footers to really understand because still we'll always talk about the musculature We'll always talk about how uh, obviously whoever was in the Patterson game gimlin film was pretty jacked

48:18Uh, it's that it always was what I was saying before is that you can see the musculature of his back You can see the musculature of his legs. Yeah, but now if you really look at it It is very much a costume of course. It's a costume. It might as well be a refrigerator box with fur on top It's kind of nice in a way. It's a very good costume Yes, for back of the day. See that one's gone too. Another dream flushed on the toilet, but I still don't think that does it mean that there's not something out there would yeah You never know you never know you never know Something in the woods you know there's stuff in the woods buddy See, but the thing is like the deep voice is what threw me because for all these years I heard high pitch with the high pitch squeeze screams and and almost sonar like grunts. Okay And that's for when he shits, but we didn't find the shit. That's what I was saying. Okay. Good. That's my belief That's my personal belief. All right now. We got to give a shout out to this guy Who's he Tommy Thompson? Oh, yeah, we give a shout out now this guy very rarely

49:23Do we Celebrate the criminal But today we don't know true that is yeah, you know, I'm just trying to say something Just trying to say something that seems like we have we we care right? So but today This this guy deserves it. Oh my god. He deserves to be fully celebrated because he won he did win It was a long fight But god damn it has this man won Tommy Thompson. He found treasure True shipwreck treasure Years ago in 1988 so the goal is is so he was charged by a company right. Yeah, he's a research science from scientists from Ohio He found the SS Central America And I guess name for a ship. Well, yeah, we're strange and then it had thousands of pounds I guess of sunken treasure that was in it right was there 150 years And I guess this guy Tommy Thompson found the gold And then he had it minted into coins. Yes

50:26And now no one ever found the coins So he got the gold the company said we never got our or money right because we you we supposed to give us millions of dollars and gold He got the the old bouillon turn into into coins And then they went away And then they kept trying to ask him where where's my go coins? Where's my go coins And he kept it a secret and they put them in prison So this is the things they kept them in secret because it was contempt right yeah Which you only you really only could stay in prison for 18 months for that Yes, because he said he heard that they they had yet to receive any money from the $50 million sale of more than 500 gold bars and thousands of coins just part of the ship's booty Thompson living in Florida. He went to seclusion He became a fugitive and eventually he got arrested Yeah, they found him in a hotel room now. This is my thing is like He obviously didn't have the money So because he was holed up in some like horrific hotel room and I guess he figured maybe this was sort of like the

51:29The plan altogether because he had these coins They were evaluated at 2.5 million dollars at the time and I guess he had given them over to a trust and blaze And then he said that they they tried to do this 50 million dollar sale But most of the money went towards legal fees and bank loans and all this got to shit But they put him in jail for contempt And you're always supposed to be there for 18 months they put him in for 10 years Because he refused to say Where the gold was And so finally They've decided that it was they can't keep him in they had to release him I mean my opinion this man is a case against the government He legitimately just said 10 years they put him in for contempt for contempt And they finally just said I don't think that he uh, I don't think this is working And they've decided to release him So Tommy Thompson He got released after a decade in jail

52:29And he still got the gold He's got the gold And that's things so now wherever it is He's got to hit it now. He's free and clear It's a real-life leprechaun He's free and clear now And so he could go get that gold and go and live in brazil And he can oh he could he live in America In a butt Why would you? Fuck that I'm yeah Fuck us I'm honestly we put him in prison for 10 years Seriously dude Yeah it's just gold He's not American currency It's just gold you spend that anywhere You take that and you move to fucking Colombia And you live the life Yeah Because he served his time Oh yeah I don't think they could do anything about it So if you like shows up in court Covered in gold like they can't do anything about it I think that as long as the gold never appears anywhere I think they could still get I don't know Type stories LPLTLLGMA.com Is the gold his Officially He did time He did 10 years And I was for contempt It was for contempt

53:29It wasn't for Necessarily for breaching the contract Like that's a problem Because now he's Yeah I've got me go You know every single day He's just in that fucking All the pirates of the Caribbean Bearing the mirror He's more like he's made like a Johnny Depp mural and is like Fucking out of his own shit And this little cell is going like Everybody knows everybody's just love Loves him Yeah calling him the captain Well this gotta be at least a couple people in prison Do you think he I would have told every person in prison A different place where the gold was And a ratio How much are there It's like how much fun with that B And then you're like And then promising guys gold Like how much for me like Now listen here sonny You've got to find Little girl like mouth And hold on to give me a kiss And now give me a What a gold It's going He just draws an ex over some guys asshole Where do you think the gold is Where did he put it What would you guys hide it

54:29I believe Dude I don't even want a fucking guess Yeah I mean you gotta bury it It's in the desert or something It'd be inside me Oh it's got no it's got to be in the Caribbean somewhere I would bury that gold Maybe you know where Well no one will find it We'll put a cop budget copies of jiggly on top But how would he know if no one got to it I mean he's been in prison for 10 years Someone could have found it by now Well maybe he's got somebody It's who I was him I'd have a sweet little chicken down No You can't trust his chicken man No man You can't trust his chicken I'll tell that little chicken Your chicken's today I would say you sit down there I'd be like To see Maybe I forgot how to say return May return you You'll sweet to be just beautiful woman It's too long to leave a chicken With that much gold on your mouth But no what do you say he's like Here's one gold coin You take that and your purse And you keep it And the rest of the gold That'll be there But when I come back If I see one coin gone You're walking the plank

55:29You know what I guess Girls are going to walk the plank man Go to the last time you made a girl walk the plank Oh man never Girls at these days I feel like that I think that buys a man's loyalty What planks No this idea being like One gold coin I'll watch you I'll watch your gold Man we gotta be careful right now When the internet goes out The season your me love you And the stock market crashes Met Gusto Gold This guy's got it He's going to win That's what I'm saying dude She knows She's reading the fucking You don't think Little chicky Reading the fucking the Atlantic Looking at the got all of the various Problems with our With the fact that we're Fucking heading towards a weird Mini recession You know she knows gold holds So there she is Are they just spying on this guy Still too Like that's when I would be Watching him forever Oh no that's the way that's the thing He's got to go That's probably kind of the problem right now Is now he's probably moving the gold back and forth You know um You can get gold bars at Costco What? Yeah you can buy a gold bar at Costco

56:30And then put it under your bed And wait for the fucking government to collapse Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Come on Um, let's see Hold on It's a good bite See look here we got these These right there You can go to the harrow Yeah, you can buy a gold bar at Costco Yeah, I don't know how much they are Exactly But I know what it is Perfect gift for your insufferable uncle Yeah Uh $2,679 Wow For a gold bar That's almost worth it Yeah And then you know it's great about it And you know it's awesome about it Can't wear it Can't do anything with it Can you sit there How do they put elephants on it I don't know It's got to look like something I guess that's cool But yeah, gold bar Buy a Costco Oh man, check those on sale Yeah So when you're returning All your meatloaf Say you got like $2,600 of meatloaf Let's say Just say you bought that And you're like, hey And you know what, I gotta return that Give me Here's all the meatloaf for one gold bar Give me your gold Give me the gold Um All right, so we got a couple of stories That I'm interested in

57:30How much time do we have left I guess we have as much time as we want It's our lunch show Yeah, well we got these Florida teams That Killed someone And the name of the atom lands on They were trying to do a blood ritual They're just shitty teenagers There's another thing that I just I just actually got I got sent another email About another A 13-year-old Killing somebody over a tablet Okay Another tablet based murder And it's just like, it's true We gotta be careful The screen time We gotta be careful with the screen time I'm, you know, I'm not A parent So glad I'm not a parent Karmie and Wendy I didn't have to deal with anything The fact that they showed them Three with Nicholas Wyndham Reffen films They love it Sunday, you know what I mean I don't have to deal with that I don't have to deal with any Blowback of the fact that we sat and watched Push her bully during Valhalla Rising together And I can do that Guz it's not gonna frame the brain It's like it chains the brains of Karmie and Wendy You know, but there's something About this with the tablets These kids are addicted Yeah And that's why I don't I don't go anywhere on elementary school

58:32Because these kids are all packing I don't want to talk to that college student I know, I Kids are These kids are packing Really careful Yeah Never fuck with the child These molesters should be more on their toes They really should These kids gotta be We should give Think about this That would be kind of fun With more kids with concealed and carry Give them little tarrangers Yeah Why not Yeah, one shot That's all they got Honestly, if we're doing this At this point Straight up At this point With the amount of pedophilia Kind of in the news And how much school shootings are going on At this point I'm saying we give Toddler's darrangers Darrangers Yeah Yeah, why not Dive a little one Yeah, because I can't put my finger in one No No, no, it's for a baby It's for a baby or A little woman A little woman Um, there was So there was a story We wanted to get to last week that we skipped Yes, but this one is good Because it's coming Came up several times on our weekend Oh yeah, so um Seven men Plead guilty in interstate robbery scheme At Pennsylvania rest stops These guys are fucking so stupid There's seven guys

59:32And they are all uglier than the last one IAR talk about A Delco county Fucking crew Yeah, so they they were all from Ohio And one was for Tennessee But they got caught in Pittsburgh Yes And basically What they were doing was It a phony lottery scheme Where they would all be at a rest stop together Dumbest scheme you've heard Scheme is such a silly word for this too Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess it's a yeah It's just a little trick Stupid It's stupid little trick So basically These guys would be like Oh man, it's he's on the rest I'm like Oh man, my buddy just won the lottery And we're playing poker and he's losing You got to come play poker Forget sir buddy So listen to this Okay, okay, think about this So one man comes up to you You're at a rest stop Yeah On the highway This isn't like a truck stop It's a rest stop A guy comes up to you and goes Hey Free money behind the rest stop Like essentially being like This guy, but it's a convoluted way to say

1:00:33Like do you want to get in on this random poker game With us and go after this fake poker hustler Yes Right And so So you have the poster game is behind the rest stop So you have to just go like Okay Yep Oh, I wasn't on my way anywhere That's a fact Exactly Hopefully this turns into some kind of Daisy Jane Yeah, that's all I can think of Julie Gosh, that sounds phenomenal I gotta go Yeah, I got to go Not telling me if I would go down there So so Oh, this is one of those amazing things What a wonderful way For money to kind of go for a hand hand Told the various people And then You make way I accidentally put a Bernie Sanders picture up I just can't say it's just the amazing stuff Just to say how This is our normal way For money to kind of go down For those that have To those that don't And this is an amazing way for the America Just don't work on it Gonna work on it It's got socials way So basically they would trick them in the coming behind the To play poker behind the rest stop And the moment they got behind the rest stop They would just beat them up and take their money And they were doing this

1:01:34For a long time in multiple states Even in Canada Well, I just love the fact that you'd come around And see a scene out of guys and dolls You'd see a scene It's one guy And then you see six guys Fake playing poker They're all like Yeah, I'll see that Oh, I'll raise that Oh, you can see them all doing me like Playing like playing dice Just like when they come around the corner And they're all like Be related tonight Yeah Be related tonight So they were doing this For how many how long Like three months Three months they were doing it And between the seven of them They made $21,000 Okay, so I want you to do the math here Seven guys Make 21 grand Over three months So that seven guys Divided by 21 grand right So for guys that's three grand a month Three grand for all of them For all of them Each so each one makes about Not enough for rent Yes, each one makes a grand

1:02:34No, each of them made three grand Over a grand a month It's a grand a month Which is not rent No, and this is and this is why we We're so surprised Always remember we had a 10 met person sketch group And and murder this And and when we do we're doing murder Fist we had a 10 person sketch group And I remember like it was up to 13 at one point But I remember always being like Oh, we're fucking we're so funny We're no brainer How does this not work out for us And I remember saying this to I was saying this Michael Ian Black When we were doing Michael Michael And he was just like I was in a 10 person sketch group It was called the state We made $100 a person For a bunch of years He's like they paid us in being cool It was awesome. We were broke We got nothing and it was like Oh, it's like it would be extremely expensive To pay a 10 person sketch group Any form of livable wage It's why you didn't get it I was just like Oh, why did he even fucking think about that Yeah, well, everyone always told us to ditch everybody

1:03:38What you would call it But yeah, the five men are from Cincinnati So that's cool and we're going to be in Cincinnati very soon Can't wait last podcast and love.com. We're over at the time At the tap theater on April 25th We're going to be there So maybe we should see if these guys' family want to come God, Julie's family is going to love our show Yes, they're going to fucking love it Yeah, yeah, well luckily You know, we don't have to worry about You know them I don't think they're going to come I think some of them are going to come Hell yeah Yeah, no, I want to show the backstage And then I wanted it just to leave We'll just wrap her head in a scarf or something She doesn't want to see this No, she wants to see the people like me Same thing That's what my mom doesn't want to see what I say That is all my mom wanted My mom's main takeaway from when she saw the live show It's like, oh, they love it That was just like, oh, the fans Yeah, and she's like, thanks I don't know if she's going to be able to handle the Hail Satan call and response But maybe she shouldn't Maybe she can get into it Maybe she

1:04:39We're going to find out what's going to have Never once Never once And you know what She's going to be sitting in the AVA Times up Yeah, so I got to see it Come on Come on, it was bad Oh, we're going to cut all this I wish we didn't have to I wish we didn't have to cut everything that Henry just said about my family That's out You can use your imagination to what it was Haha Yeah, you just got uninvited the thanks to him It's not your family fully It's happened to my family now I it's what happens when you get married, Henry Oh, yeah, well, it's your family now No, I'm a pregnant No, you are It is this story is just so funny to me Because not only is it a Truly Bad crime to do Yeah, it's stupid It's a stupid crime Who has money on them

1:05:39I guess they did it for three months and they got 21 grand but it's it's not worth it crime does not pay no And this is not how you do it proof it does not pay these guys are stupid And I don't know why they would just see you know what it you know what I think one of them is 73 Do you think that it was because that guy do you think it was because This was an example of one friend of a friend hearing about the crime and then instead of Getting them to call the police. They just folded them into this game Well, when I was doing that every single time somebody else showed up I was like sure you guys playing poker for real. I'm like no This is you know, we're not playing poker for this I don't understand we got all the stuff for poker and you brought money to it right and they're like No, you see it's deeper than that But your best part is we can entertain ourselves playing poker Waiting for criminals and then just slowly adding guys to the table Yeah, I think that every guy who got added was was a victim who didn't have any money

1:06:39It's like listen you got to earn you keep now. It's like when you buy food But you can't afford it and they make you wash dishes Oh, you're pouring oh, you're a homeless person. Well, now you're an employee. You don't mean like oh great Does that help? Has anybody that had to wash dishes because they didn't pay for the meal? Were they ever good at washing the dishes? I'm gonna say no I think every time they've actually never done that and called the cops and they went to jail Yeah, I think so too, and I also think that food's cheap and that sometimes people need to eat They already got someone washing the dishes and they have to pay that nothing makes me say I do feel like that is the stuff I utterly fully avoid when it comes to any of my like cop porn at all like seeing people shop left or doing that Break my heart People steal food like watching people get in trouble for stealing food makes me so fucking set the food Yes, it's just food like that's that's I mean, I know it's the you lose it But like on a grocery store and you can you count that as on your losses and shit. So just

1:07:40Give him the food. It's food though. I hate the dining dash because sometimes like no guy Dining dash is because that fucks with the server. Sometimes the waiter has to pay for it. Yes That fucks with the server. It's like a shitty restaurant. The waiter has to pay for it. No, that's fucked up It sucks. It's so but yeah, I was I remember I ate I'll always remember the days when I was eating at a grocery store So I will never be angry at somebody for stealing food man We had this trick. We used to do would we'd get like a quarter pound of cheese and then a full pound of roast beef and then we switch the stickers Oh, wow, yeah, you just walk out with a full pound of roast beef for one dollar. Wow fucking a now see that's a good scheme That's something you maybe work This is something that is stupid But I do feel like in a way. This is just men hanging out Statue of limitations. You can't get me you're right. You can't get him All right, you can't fucking get him. You don't know grocery store was Windexy But we all know Windexy is where you go to work if you ever record. It doesn't make any sense Windexy because they lost They lost. Yeah, yeah, wow. Yeah, and they lost to make no sense. Yeah, it's bad. And it was a bad one. Oh

1:08:45We got listen to me. Oh, we don't oh, we know one I do Yeah, we do we do have listen to mail and I got a I got a stinger here if you guys want. Oh, yeah, this is from Emily Um, and she lives in Lexington, Kentucky. Here we go. Oh, come on Come on Oh Is that Saul Restonery males The spooky stories around It's time for less than the emails. Oh, yeah That's good good murder ballot energy. Yeah, very very um Dresden doll. Yeah, I think that was a soft. Yes, I'm pretty sure. That was very cool. Good work. Thank you, Emily That was really cool good work Emily. Yeah Now the story goes out daddy. Oh, thank God

1:09:47I've been sitting on this story for 30 years And the 90s my mom was obsessed with Dan marina smart woman She would pretend to be him in a well chat rooms convinced media literature at pre-internet boomers that she was him We even had a second phone line that they could call us proof Her obsession got so bad we ended up someone has to answer Uh Her obsession got so bad we ended up moving down the street from him. No, we would go to his church and sit by his family She pulled my brother out of school so they could meet him at some golf tournament She had me male a letter to one of his kids to be friends Note I did not want to be his friend She even has a china cabinet full of Dan marino commemorative dinner plates. Fuck yeah You should have been his friend. I feel like you don't understand what I'm networking How big that is in this country. It's hard. Dan marino's children are autistic. I'm sorry. I'm at least one of them is Unfortunately after it came out that marino was a piece of shit for cheating on his wife

1:10:50The obsession seemed to fissile Never was because he didn't cheat with my mom. Yeah, the world may never know You still have for plates. You're gonna hold on to those plates Yes, you are you're gonna want to hold on to those plates or you said and went over here I'll take one hold on those plates. Yeah, Ed Larson care of LPN P.O. Box 470 North Hollywood, California 91603 steal one of those plates for me You are because honestly they could be worth something. I didn't know to All I know is we did go to that Lincoln market I got you can go bring them there. I bought Dan marino football cards there dude You know what first of all I gotta say I don't know how true this is because I don't think these people had enough money to live down the street from Dan marino. Oh shit You couldn't be leaving a weird place kind of near there. No, not by Dan marino He's gotta have a place right on the intercostal. Oh, well, that's too close to the water. Maybe he's got two homes I'm sure he's got a million homes. Wow damn marino Yeah, you know who I said hello to yesterday and interrupt to just day Doug flutty John Tash whoa

1:11:51That's a good one whoa here's walking down the street and I said mr. Tash And he was like yours I just said I didn't know that I realized like I didn't know what to say. Yeah, but I was like because like It's not that yeah I technically said I'm a huge fan, but you're not but But then I kind of caveated with just like all the the way I said to him was You know, it's just kind of crazy just seeing you all the all these years and it's good to see you Is that what you said? Oh, yeah, that's not bad. Right. It could be worse yet. He was just like thank you I'll tell you about it. He's huge. Yeah, we know almost John Tash is huge. He's huge. He's big old man I had um, I saw the guy who's a doctor on the pit the the cool like the cool doctor on the pit He's like a smaller part, but he's the one who like shows up. He works with uh, he's like In the military gear and stuff like that. I don't want you. He's also been ready or not too. Oh wow Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's great. He's great actor. I love them But I don't know his name or anything and he was in front of me in TSA and they like took his bag

1:12:53You know the like cuz you like you messed up He like they took his bag and he had to wait for his bag and then I leaned in behind him I was like, you gotta gotta leave your scaffold at home You gotta leave your scaffold at home Yeah, Sean had a seat Yeah, he was funny. Well, fuck you, Sean Yeah, he's trying to engage with you that's your audience Sean. Yeah, gotta leave your scaffold Hey, and he's like your number one fan, how dare you and his your number one fan? I love the pit You laugh at Eddie Oh God, well out there, okay, he said a funny thing to you Yeah, it was six o'clock in the morning at the airport and they took their back from her man. I refuse to learn. Very tractive. Oh, sure. They're very tractive. So it's John Tush. Yeah. I'll say hello to you. That's important for you to know. I don't give a fuck. Yeah. If I want to say hello to a celebrity, I say hello to them. Really? That's a couple of them. Mr. Tush. Seems to be doing live every day, knowing for a fact, you never know where you're going to meet John Tush. Yeah. Love the fact that when you meet John Tush, you don't say

1:13:57weird things like, oh, you're taller than I thought because I didn't. I was happy. Yes. And then laugh. How's the weather up there? Yeah. I mean, you're going to laugh at the fact that you can't believe you're still alive that tall. Exactly. You're a tall man age fast is what I should have said. And then he, uh, no, I just know giant just laugh just thinking about how I made his day. I don't know if you did. I don't know if you did. I think he made your day. He did. He did make my day. Come see side stories on the road. Henry and I are having a fucking blast out there. April 17th Anchorage, sold out. Can't come too bad. Go to Fairbanks the next day on April 18th. Come to Fairbanks. We have no idea what the weather is going to be like up there in April, but it's going to be better than it was. Yes. It's better than February, but that honestly, we're sorry we missed and we're coming and we're looking up to you. We're coming. You guys come. It's going to be fucking bug. We cannot wait. I'm going to do some kind of brunch show the next day too. I'm very excited about. I think it's just going to sit and watch you eat.

1:14:58I think so. I think it's a it's a it's a mukbang. Wow. I'm just going to eat salmon for them. That's amazing. It's more like a mukbang because you're getting paid. Yeah. April 26th Lexington, Kentucky. We're going to hang out with Emily. What's up? Bring out some fun. Emily, I'm coming to your fucking house. Emily, I'm going to have sex with your dogs. May 7th LA Avalon theater 945. The Netflix is a joke festival. Come on out. We going to get horny. We're going to be horny. Just so you know, in Los Angeles, it is also we're up against the night of too many stars. Yes. And if you live in Los Angeles, you know, fuck these goddamn stars, right? Shit. Yeah, stars. We are going to have, we are also going to have celebrity guests. Yeah, we have full on celebrity guests at our show. They are currently being booked. And we got the real stars. We are stars. Real guests. You fucking forget about who's at the real one? Who's at the real one? There's not too many stars. Who's there? Who's there? What hacks are there? I don't know. We're fucking hacks are there. What are the powers are going to be there? Huh? Robert's mind. Yeah. What garbage ass fucking pieces is

1:16:02shit. I'm going to be there. I love it. It's like John Stewart and Anthony Jezzelnick. Yeah. Some Chris Rock. And it's a low level talent. Like Adam Sandler. Yeah. You come to the Avalon where you can see our guns. I guess what? You probably I can drink with us afterwards because you're never going to see ever Adam Sandler. Yeah. You will probably see. You brew more than likely. If you come see us, you'll see me and Eddie go to the fucking bathroom. Hosted by John Stewart. Garbage. Pussy. Bill Burr. It's the Hollywood ball. Yeah. The fucking the parking's terrible. Yeah. Conan O'Brien. Coward. Garbage. Steve Carell. Bastard. Whatever. I don't even see him live. I see him on the television. I like him better there. Nikki Glazer. She's great. We love. Yeah. We can't even joke. I don't want to say anything. Ron Funches. These we like. I like this guy. So very nice. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Are you fucking you bringing Annabelle to us? Yeah. You son of a bitch. Madrive is not said word

1:17:03one about Annabelle since he fucking purchased her from her Pimp. Yeah. Dude. That's what I want to know. You fucking Pimp. You slave owner. You human trafficker. Yeah. Right. Fuck you, dude. Yeah. That's what we're fucking talking about. Yeah. But anyways, come and see us. May 30th, Rochester. June 28th, London, Ontario. Yes. Because Rochester again. Rochester is really where we shine. Yeah. Yeah. That's where we shine. Yeah. We don't shine anywhere else. But Rochester. Bring your sunglasses. Yeah, because we're going to be so shiny. Yeah. Also, April 3rd, come and check me in Amber out at the Lyric Hyperia. Not in LA. You're going to have a lot of fun. That's on Good Friday. That's a great idea. It's a great fucking idea, Eddie. Yeah. It's a really good idea. Well, I'll say in hell, I'm Balderada's pork sandwich shop. Cheers. In Urbana. Holy shit. That fucking pork. But I poor catta sandwich. They make their own pork cutta and they make all their own meats. And they bake their own bread. I smell the bread in the back. It's the best smelling bathroom I've ever been in. Yeah. That's part of it.

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