Episode 680: Q&A III

You're listening to this podcast so you've got a curious mind.

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30 years ago in the quiet town of Gerriton,

children started vanishing without a trace.

Aducted and murdered by a serial killer known as The Whisper Man.

The police finally put him away after years of terrorizing the community.

Decades later, another kid disappears.

The son of a crime rider.

Played by Adam Scott.

Did I mention it's a movie?

A thriller called Louis the Man.

On Netflix, if you leave a door half open,

soon you'll hear the whispers spoken.

If you're lonely, sad and blue,

The Whisper Man will come for you.

Watch The Whisper Man.

A film directed by James Ascrawft.

Rated.

Ah.

Now playing only on Netflix.

There's no place to escape to.

This is the last talk.

Yes.

On the left.

I'm going to go in the lead.

That's when the cannon bullets started.

In the start.

I have to talk today, OK?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You doing your exercises?

Yes.

Do your James Head Field exercises?

Neem.

Neem.

Neem.

Neem.

Neem.

Yeah.

Neem.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Welcome to Last Podcast on Left.

I'm leaving today's episode.

I'm doing it.

We're taking the reins.

I'm taking it back because today,

we're not in the studio, sure.

But we are.

We're talking about, we're here.

We are.

We are here.

We are.

Right off the top.

You did.

I'm looking at this running coffee brand.

You're lying on camera.

You're talking about where you are.

You're talking about where you are.

Okay, I'm never the sky.

Sure.

So today we decided to do a picture on Q&A episode

because you guys are so curious about us.

And we're just, we're just so mysterious,

unknowable artists that we thought it's time

for us to part the curtains for the very first time

and explain to you what we're like personally.

Oh yeah, yeah, people have no idea.

I was just, I love a picture.

Fuck you, you did not.

You did not.

You did not.

I was supposed to be doing this.

I am Henry Sprasking.

I'm sitting here with former major host

of the show Marcus Parks.

Former.

Cool.

Yeah, I'll, do I get paid the same?

No.

Oh, I'll rip up with you down.

All right, fine.

Oh yeah.

Let's dress.

And I have as little responsible as always.

And I said, Larsen, I did it for you.

Thank you, Mr. Jolorm.

At Larsen.

This is going really well.

Yeah.

I'm really glad that I'm in charge.

Yeah.

And what I have is a bunch of questions in front of me.

I hope some of them are sad.

There are.

There's a lot of sad ones.

There's a lot of inappropriate ones.

And there's a lot of ones that make me angry.

Oh, but those are, but I also think they're good ones.

Okay.

And so we're going to do a big mix of all of them.

Nice, nice.

So number one.

Okay.

Do you want me start?

Start.

Or do you want to do one tee up something?

I have nothing to talk about.

I talk to you all day every day.

This is the only thing I need to do.

Yeah.

You were caught up on my life.

I am caught up.

I know every story.

I know every moment.

So first of all, first question.

What's your guys' worst fear?

Prison.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, prison.

Definitely, yeah, but definitely prison.

Prison for sure.

You know, that I definitely dream about going to prison a lot.

But I definitely like, I'm scared of really bad of getting hit by a car or falling really hard.

I think like that's how I'm going to die.

I feel like you could work on falling though.

No, not like while I'm walking like awful like a something off the side of something or you know,

you lean and it doesn't have the support you think it does.

Oh, yeah, sure.

I really think it's going to be a noopsy dude that takes me out because I get kind of reckless when I'm happy.

Yeah, you have to really be very careful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I am afraid of my own potential.

I just want to fully embrace it.

I won't fully embrace it because I honestly, I need to leave some for a lot for the rest of you.

Yeah, I remember one guy quit our old sketch group, murder fist because he said it was getting too successful.

I do remember that.

And then I was just like, well, I have no money.

Yeah, what do you mean?

What are you talking about?

I work 80 hours a week before I do this.

Yeah, and I make no money.

And what sort of complex did that guy have where he had to be that hated?

I don't know.

It was wild.

He was a problem.

He was a problem.

But I honestly though, I think the thing I'm most afraid of is what I'm currently dealing with,

which is a thing that I think a lot of guys my age are afraid of, which is the doctor.

Oh, yeah, what the doctor's going to tell you.

I'm afraid of the impending bad news.

I'm afraid to know, but I know that I'm supposed to.

And I'm literally fighting through generations of being afraid of the doctor.

My father was afraid of the doctor.

I never met my paternal grandfather at all because he died when my dad was 10.

Every Zabrowski died of alcoholism or heart attack.

Okay.

Before they all reach a, I, I, I, I, old age.

My father is the oldest Zabrowski in like six generations.

Wow.

Yes.

I was really, and he was going for it.

Yeah.

He was trying to live.

You know, that's a good sign though.

You're trying to live.

Except, you know, and then I, I busted open my penis top.

But you still eat blueberries?

Yeah, I mean, fucking berries, but my dick and balls are black and blue and not in the fun way.

I think it's good that your dick and balls are black and blue because now you know your limits.

You were going too hard at the gym for too long.

Yeah.

Yeah, you can tell.

So let's go to the next question.

That's the worst part about being like this.

Is that the more you work out, the way I'm shaped, you just look more like a tree stump.

I just look fat or fat or just look bigger.

Look like a giant rock, which is what I want to be.

Well, that's actually good because that gives you fucking low key, like, able to wreck somebody.

That's what I want to do.

No, what you've got, you've got 1930s to Zarka Strongman bodies.

Yeah.

That's, that's what you have.

I am the same measurement.

I'm not even joking.

Shoulders, tits, middle section, waist, and literally one size.

You're the only guy at the gym that uses the barbells with the big round circle weights.

Yeah.

Have only one.

Did you bring your own handle bar mustache?

Should you rent the ones they have there at the gym?

I normally rent them again.

I'm a size, nineer.

You don't have enough rope at this gym.

Yeah, I got it.

I'm the rope.

Where's all my rope?

You can only bring me two tiny lasses to sit on each end of my dumbbells and I can lift them all afternoon.

What's your favorite beer?

Favorite beer, really?

Yeah.

I know, I'm just kind of going through some light, I'm going through light and heavy.

I'm really into Italian pilsners.

I love my Italian pilsners.

I think the delicious, the meretti is perfect.

My favorite beer, it's called Sundays.

It's only available in Brooklyn, but can't get it out here.

I used to drink in Brooklyn all the time, but yeah, Sundays.

Best beer ever made spot a cow.

But I would say the beer I drink the most is probably 805.

I really thought you were going to say 805 Hitler.

Honestly, was a T totaler.

I also like the big grolishes, the large ones that have the pothole.

I love Polish beers and Czech beers.

I like a good, pilsners, light loggers.

Yeah, IPA can go fuck it, though.

Fuck it, doc, yeah.

I don't like IPA.

If there was a fascinating of all of the fascinating mysterious events we have covered here

at last podcast and left, which is the one you wish you could have witnessed with your own two eyes?

Can I go first?

Go ahead.

That guy shooting all those little goblins coming out of the trees to his house.

Hopkinsville, Hopkinsville, and the fuck, yeah, dude.

That's a good one, Eddie.

That's a really good one, because like what happened there?

I guess I would have liked to see JFK get shot.

Yeah, me too.

I want to see the brother from just a relaxed one.

I want to see the old man.

I want to see the other angle.

I want to see the other angle.

Get shot if you're on the other side.

That is true.

Or you're shooting.

Or if there was something that crashed in Roswell, I'd like to see the crash.

That'd be fun.

Maybe, hmm.

Yeah, I think, okay, JFK getting shot.

You know what, I'd take it back, me lie.

Great, yeah, that mysterious event.

What an incredibly spooky story.

A mysterious event that, it's not like there were photojournalists there.

No, very mysterious.

Very, very mysterious, her entire trial that outlined everything that happened from every angle talking to every person in detail.

I would like to see what happened at the Deatloft pass.

Yeah, I'd be cool.

It is the story of a group of hikers.

They went up, I believe, was it Russia?

Yes, Russia.

It was one of the, yeah, it's like an essential.

Maybe Ukraine, like Soviet state.

It's in an area to where they go, they go, they go hiking and essentially they're found in a mysterious state where, you know, like some of them have no clothes.

And they're like up against a tree, one person at their tongue removed.

And there's a bunch of different theories.

Obviously, now they're saying there is a, we're going to do a redo on that.

Yeah, we are.

We are absolutely going to do a redo on it because there's like some new answers.

But I would love to have been there that night, doing it to them.

Mine was so innocent.

Mine was about goblet.

Yeah, this is the best.

This is about goblet.

No, we don't know what it, it legitimately seems it was a natural thing.

Versus like anything.

But there's a lot of UFO connections on my country.

Yeah, or even cryptic connections.

Yeah, which would be kind of fun.

Have any of you guys seen each other's penises?

Um,

Surprisingly, no.

No, I've seen everything around your penis many, many, many times.

I've seen every part of, I've grabbed Henry's naked ass plenty of times.

Yeah.

But I don't think I've actually seen your penis.

Yeah, I've seen you holding your penis naked on stage more times that I can count.

That's true.

Yeah.

And your little butt.

Yeah, I used to throw you out onto stage naked.

Yeah.

But yeah, no, that was, I was usually, I'd like grab some of your back hair or like your

Tush and toss you on the stage just so you'd rock it out there faster.

Yeah, but I've never seen Marcus's fully nude.

Mm-hmm.

And I've never seen you nude.

We even lived together.

Yeah, I just saw you.

I've seen everyone around your balls.

I've seen your balls.

I've seen just your balls.

Have you?

You've showed me just your balls.

Oh, yeah.

That's cool.

But I haven't seen the penis.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I don't.

I've seen the penis.

I've seen the penis.

Yeah, yeah, no, I don't.

I've just done it in the years.

I remember one time I showed you just above my penis because you asked me about a sore that

you had.

And then I had the same sore and I was like, you mean like this one?

Yep.

That's called fat man.

That's fat man.

Socialized medicine.

And you have to understand that.

What's the funniest smell you can think of?

I just saw that one.

Cotton candy vomit.

Wow.

All right, funny.

You smell like I can think of.

If you have one go, I'm still thinking.

I'm trying to clown breath.

Clown breath.

Clown breath.

That's my clown.

That's my fucking clown.

That's the worst part of a clown breath.

Yeah.

Come on, loser.

Funny a smell.

Yeah, I guess it would have to be circus themed, I guess.

I guess the other two were cotton candy vomit.

Yeah.

Clown breath.

I guess that makes sense.

But funny a smell.

Oh, big foot stick.

Great.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Winner.

Winner.

Yeah.

Where do you guys is white whale vinyls?

Oh.

That's the thing at this point, I have found my white whales.

I found that they recently got a first pressing a maggot brain.

No, I found two in the same store.

I found both and I bought one for Henry to start off his new vinyl collection.

There's a nice.

It was at permanent records here in LA, which is fucking amazing record store.

Oh, that is awesome.

There's one record I used to have that I lost like through time and I want back really bad.

It was the rhythm devils, which was the the drum section of the grateful dead doing their version of the apocalypse now soundtrack.

That's great.

Yeah, no, I don't.

I gave it to a friend when I like was homeless for a little while, but I never got it back and I've never seen it anywhere ever.

And I really got it for a $2 at a record store in Telehassy and it was really cool.

It was all clicks and stuff like you know, like when he's playing the the boat, you know, apocalypse now.

It's like it's like that the whole time.

It's really cool and it's gone and I miss it and I hope to see it again sometime.

Also the first release album of police brothers album tonight at the Arizona is really hard to find a vinyl.

Yeah.

And there's those darlings that you know, they only made so many of those and I really love them.

And I can listen to those on Spotify and stuff.

So I'm not like completely devoid of the music.

Sure.

But my biggest white whale was the Bushwick gospel singers.

I couldn't find out.

I was like friends with the band.

I wanted to hear it again.

It got stripped from online.

I was calling them and none of them had said.

Yeah, remember that.

And then finally Zoe, John Marano's wife, who's in the Bushwick gospel singers.

She found a CD, sent it to Julie and Julie got a vinyl pressed for me.

Oh, that's great.

Yeah, the Bushwick gospel singers common used to play shows at them all the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were the best.

Yeah, they were amazing.

And my other white whale that I found was Suicides first record, first pressing of that.

Oh, yeah.

And.

And.

Can't believe a bad name Suicide of the second album.

Yeah, they had four.

You see, there's always unsuccessful attempts.

Yeah.

Honestly, I don't know yet.

I'm not really there.

I am kind of like, you guys are deeply obsessed within the world of music and know what you want.

Where I still feel like I'm very much still discovering.

Yeah.

And you got to find your lane.

My favorite music is stuff like I'm kind of like a song guy and I'm still discovering quite a bit of stuff.

So I feel like, you know, now that I'm deep into jazz, I really like that.

But I'm not like, I'm not yet into the world of vinyl where I can even really understand the difference between the various

vinyl.

What I listen to them.

I can't either personally, you know, I mean, like obviously if one is a crackle on another one doesn't, that's obvious.

That's different, you know, but like I just didn't I just like them.

Like I don't know the differences between like that's like one of those things where I get hung up on that.

You guys know, like I don't know what the differences between all the pressings are and why ones good versus ones not as good or like a thin flimsy ones aren't good.

Yeah, the thick ones are like the audio file.

The hundred and eighty gram new ones are always good.

And they're not always recorded from digital rather than from tape usually.

And that's the problem.

Yes, because that's the main issues the new way because the old ones because like someone I think you guys both said to me a really good axiom for vinyl buying is buy vinyl from when vinyl was peak.

What when it was what what you want is you want like if you're buying albums from the 60 70s and 80s like those are mixed to sound good on a record.

Yes, but if you're buying like 90s stuff by CDs because those were mixed to sound good on CDs and then you know once you get to modern day it doesn't fucking matter.

We specifically though produced our Halloween.

Sound effects album for vinyl.

Yeah, tack on question for this.

What was the first record or cassette or CD you guys bought?

The first cassette I ever bought was the Adam's family rat by MC Hammer.

Fuck yeah, yeah, the first cassettes.

Adam's family.

Yeah, that was the first cassette single I bought.

The first record I ever bought was actually here in Los Angeles.

I was 14 and it was a bootleg of a bunch of guns and roses demos.

Nice.

From way back from the appetite for destruction sessions.

I still have that record.

Yeah, and you there's worth some money.

Yeah, yeah.

And the first CD I bought I believe was the Woodstock 94 double CD.

Yeah, mine was boys.

Two men.

No, I take that back Stone Tipple Pilots purple.

That was the first CD I ever bought.

Oh, hell yeah.

First CD I ever bought was Simpson's Sing the Blues.

That was the second tape I ever bought.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So funny.

That was the first, but that was the first full cassette album I ever bought.

Oh, hell yeah.

Yeah, right after the cassette single.

And then I remember one day I was like told my mom I was starting to get in the hip hop.

And she was down for whatever I wanted.

You know, she like, she just wanted to make me happy.

I wasn't only son.

And so she was like, she's like, all right, you have $50.

She took me to a place called Peaches.

Great record store at Bokka.

And she was like, all right, get any albums you want.

I'll make sure you get them because of parental advisory.

And then I got two live crew sports weekend.

Cypress Hill Black Sunday, Snoop Dogg Doggy style and Dr. Dre the Chronic.

And I was 12.

Yeah, and it was awesome.

Wow.

Yeah, you're the hardest little boy in the whole store.

Yeah, I'd have by 10 I had already like I ought to

knew all of those albums by heart because my brother had all of them.

And I would take his CDs and make tapes when he was like out hanging out with his friends.

Hell yeah.

Do you see boys to men Henry?

Yeah, boys to men.

Do we hire me or the one with oh make love to you?

When you want me to?

I was a very romantic little boy.

Yeah.

My very first cassette tape was the fan some of the opera soundtrack.

And then boys to men.

I loved I loved that was like when I was really into.

Oh, what else like it will sublime.

I think the blind was a big one and garbage garbage that first album.

I think I purchased because I was sexually trans fixed and surely me understandable.

Still him.

So this next question is this is a harder question.

And I like it, but it's a it's a it's a complimentary question.

But also I'm interested in the subject.

Yeah, you started off with a couple of fucking softballs.

Yeah.

So this is one that's a complimentary, but also a thing I literally struggle with as a business owner and creator.

So for youth, you guys are business owners, self promoters, industry disruptors in these worlds of this current day and age.

How how is our perspective changed from the beginning of creating a company LPN, which is we're on 2017 to now.

Like what exactly has changed?

How do we stay vaguely relevant?

Which I would call us.

How would you say any like how do we not completely sell out?

Well, I mean, the philosophy has always been to talk about and to make things that we think are good and things that we think we're passionate about.

Because once you start chasing relevance or anything like that, you're fucking lost.

The moment you start chasing all that, you are absolutely lost.

Like you can't make stuff that is within, I guess, the zeitgeist.

You can kind of see like what people are making, but it always has to be like through your filter.

The biggest difference between when we started this thing and that's the things LPN started 2017, but LPN came from Cape Comedy Radio.

Which was basically money from 2010.

Like that was like, I started that way, way, way back in like 2010.

And I was actually talking to somebody about this on Friday that even in like 2012, 2013, we were telling people like,

there's too many podcasts.

Like you're never going to get noticed because there's already, there's too many podcasts.

There's hundreds of them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because it's impossible.

It's impossible.

And that's the biggest difference between when we start even 2017, 2016, and now it's just the volume of podcasts.

Because now there are millions upon millions in there.

It is harder than ever to work with our heads down like we used to.

To be honest, that is the hardest part I think of the current landscape.

Is that it used to really be, which is still mostly my philosophy, is that all innovation is born from a vacuum almost.

That like legitimately, you have to bury yourself in the work so fulfilled, so fully that you are then just over the work.

Oh, that was certainly my philosophy for never get forever.

And that's a great life.

But the problem now is that when everybody's on your dick, right?

Like everybody is doing the same level of content and have different levels of support and have different systems.

So then you just more like on something we do struggle, I struggle with the idea of how do we make sure we're keeping our stuff different from everybody without me consuming everybody else's stuff.

So it doesn't enter into my brain when I'm making my stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's the hardest part because that's why I had to stop listening to all comedy podcasts.

Because eventually I understand Rob Williams more than ever in a way because I don't really write, I don't write my material.

I started to shock you.

But I don't really write my comedic material.

You don't write it out.

No, I get because the way you said it made it sound like you have a writer hidden somewhere.

Oh, my God.

Morty, Saperstein is a genius.

He came up with so many different ways to say come.

I love this guy.

No, I don't write my like when I come up with comedy bits, it's more like keywords and little phrases and stuff.

But I don't write my stuff down right?

I don't write out jokes and Rob Williams was kind of in that way in terms of I'm improvising all day, all night.

That's what I do.

So on some level, if there are jokes floating around the back of my head that I have watched another comedian do, it is not out of literally,

I have an evil.

It's at a total desperation that I will literally just grab whatever is in the fucking quiver and throw it out.

So that's why I don't listen other comedy shows.

So I have to figure out how to stay in my lane, which is a constant balancing act.

I've never listened to a comedy podcast that I wasn't actively producing.

What's you doing, God, you will you shouldn't.

Yeah, no, no, no.

I never, I never did.

And it only recently started actually listening to podcast podcasts, just because I'm driving so much here in LA.

But I've always taken the idea that how you kind of stay fresh is you take influences from other mediums.

Like you know, you when you are making a story or like make, for example, like on no dogs, what we'll do is we'll,

if we're like when we did our replacement series, we were watching the wire.

And so we can watch the wire and use that medium as inspiration for like storytelling and how to tell a story with a whole bunch of different characters and a bunch of different things going on at once.

And then take inspiration from that or take inspiration from movies or from music or anything like that.

And when all these inspirations and all these influences that cross together, then you have something that's kind of new.

Yeah, that's fucking, that's really nice.

I, um, I you know, you guys know I don't really listen to any podcast.

I don't even really listen to our podcast.

Uh, it's, it's not, you know, podcasts aren't for me.

Um, but I look at, it's weird because I came in here to like work with you guys on your thing.

And I always felt like when I joined my job was to support y'all as artists and make y'all shine the best way possible.

Cause I come from the school of and this kind of happened by accident when I stopped wanting to be a cook for the rest of my life.

I looked at not necessarily like the entertainment business, but I looked at comedy as a career.

And so I do what I can to like be, have a minute, have as many hats as possible in this comedy business.

And that's why now I'm trying to do all these other weird things.

I'm doing stuff with musicians now.

I'm trying to do this Disney thing now to just stay relevant and just keep, you know, keep my brain moving and doing as many things as I can.

I always like to say I'm in the comedy business.

I'm not in the entertainment business.

I'm not trying to be a writer on a TV show, but I do want to be a comedian for the rest of my life.

How do you feel about three years in?

Three years into this?

I love it.

Is I hope the job never ends?

You better not.

Yeah.

I know, but you know, I feel like be three years in now.

I mean, if something God forbid did happen, I have a great thing on my resume.

And I feel like I would be able to get a job somewhere else if I had to.

And I think that's a beautiful thing.

Like at the Big Fat Man Horror House?

I don't think if they're high right now.

You will.

You will at the Big Fat Man Horror House?

I've always thought as myself as being in the entertainment business.

Because that was what all I ever really wanted to do is just to be in...

Well, actually, all I ever really wanted to do was just radio.

Just being on radio.

Like if I have my brothers, I'd be doing a drive time shift on an FM radio station playing my own music, you know, five days a week.

That's the fucking dream.

That's the dream.

But there's no money in it.

No, no, no, no, I would have to pay them.

Yeah.

I mean, that's what I'd like to get back to like one of these days.

But yeah, for me, comedy was a total...

Like, it was an accident getting in the comedy.

It was a coincidence.

Yeah.

I was just applying for writing jobs and the onion happened to be hiring people for onion radio news.

So crazy.

The onion was like your first job in New York.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was, yeah, it was work.

So everyone's like life goal and you just fucking got it immediately.

Well, it was because they were looking for a guy who knew how to do radio.

And I was the only person who applied to this writing internship who had radio experience.

Amazing.

Yeah, so they brought me on.

And yeah, that was 2006.

And that's where I met some of the first people that got me into like the sort of comedy scene.

And it was just the only thing that I knew how to do was radio and the only people in entertainment in New York that I knew were all comedy.

So I just had to go in that direction.

And that's just the direction that brought me to this place here.

Yeah, I always think like one thing I learned early on and the greatest perk to doing this business and being in comedy is we always say it's a...

I was backstage past to the world.

And you know, everyone wants to meet you.

Everyone wants to show you their fucking weed farm.

Everybody wants to show you like all the cool stuff.

They want to bring you backstage at the zoo.

You know, like it's always like the coolest shit in the world.

And I think that I've seen things that I never thought I would see.

I've been to war zones.

I've been to Africa.

You know, it's just comedy has done a lot for me.

And I'm never going to give up on it.

It's pretty great.

It can be.

Not psychologically.

But it can be.

It can be.

It can be.

It can be.

It can be.

It can be.

It can be.

It can be.

It can be.

It can be.

It can be.

It can be.

It can be.

It can be.

I would actually like to speak to the idea of someone talking about like how to not sell out.

Because I will say the one thing that I'm going to tutor, I'm a toot mom now.

And say that we have so far successfully navigated and tirelessly selling out.

And I think the reason why we've gotten to do that is because of you.

Because we had a mandate of a bunch of people listening to us that allowed us to make a bunch of very...

A bunch of very good decisions that kept keeps us above certain things, which is really nice.

And these are the lessons I'm going to tell you right now, which is always own your IP.

Never let any...

Never sell it.

Never sell your IP unless they're backing up the money truck.

Right?

But you never sell that IP.

You hold on.

You hold on.

What?

I said you were my IP.

Yeah, I do.

Yeah.

Hold as much IP as possible.

But the...

I think the goal really is to...

You have to have certain fundamental non-negotiables, which is we had to have creative control, no matter what.

At all times.

At all times.

Everything is under our...

Every single choice we've made is our choice.

Yeah.

There are contractual business things that we have been forced to do then because of having to not sell out.

That's the difference.

Why don't we just...

Let's say everything that we say is our choice, but everything we've had to do over the years, we've had to do some contractuality.

I'll have to get a thing.

Well, it's because then I do...

Who's yours?

We love you.

No, no, no.

We love you.

We love you.

We love you.

You're my favorite thing.

Yes.

That's the part of it.

But it's like it's important to you understand that like I think a lot of times people look upon us as a giant...

It's funny because on one hand I think some people view us as a giant corporate entertainment monolith.

And then I think sometimes I look at all of us and I'm like, we are barely holding on by our fucking fingernails.

We are three fucking more honestly.

We're just barely holding this together that are just trying to keep every...

The hardest part is knowing that you're a stone fat idiot and you're looking at a wonderful employee that's trying to have a child.

And you want to take care of that person and that fucking is just like, you're like, oh no.

So when you start those are the things I would say affect some of our decision making in terms of the business choices that we have made.

But creatively that is the only thing that we can...

That it's not the only thing we can control but it is the main thing that we can control.

And that's what we're going to do no matter what.

Well, and we've always...

The philosophy from the beginning is always, always, always been long-term thinking.

And it's never, never give up the short term for the long term.

You know, this has always been a long game from the very, very beginning.

It's always been a long game. I'm a very patient man.

There's so many people who have made millions upon millions upon millions of dollars that I see like comedians on the road just like struggling to get a hundred people in the audience so they can make a couple grand to just pay their fucking rent.

And it's wild.

Yeah.

And so it's like keeping the job is the most important thing.

Yeah, keeping the business.

And the job, keeping the audience and keeping the respect of the audience.

Get the key.

Is it so our jobs are to make sure we don't disappoint.

So we are trying to not disappoint you.

No, as much as humanly fucking possible.

But we also got to do what we love.

And I feel like that way to not disappoint the audience is to do what we love.

If you only listen to the audience, that's when you get the newest Star Wars movies.

Yeah.

You know, and like...

Because this is my fun opportunity to say, I love all of you, but the audience is completely incorrect.

I love you.

And it's not your fault.

You don't know what you want.

Our jobs are to show you what you want.

That is our job.

So sometimes you understand we're doing it because we want to do it.

And that's how it's going to be.

And you don't want it the other way.

We're not going to sit here and do.

We're not going to sit and be like, what if we're heavy part of houses or some fucking horseshock or what you fucking hear.

Everybody's wrong.

I would amend that a little bit.

It's not necessarily us showing them what they want.

It's us showing them what we want and what we think is good and seeing if they agree.

Exactly.

And that's really all we can do.

Because it's like disappointing the audience.

Yeah, I know certain choices.

Yeah, we make them angry.

Yeah, you're definitely going to disappoint the audience.

I would say it's more like the idea is like, I don't want to let anybody down.

That's what I'm always thinking about.

I just don't want to let anybody down.

If you young kid make a reactor, no one could make anything.

Sure.

Every show I've led on the, on the, on the last podcast has been something I've been passionate about.

Always something I love.

And so I feel like if I tried to work on something that I hated, it would be awful and you would be able to tell immediately.

Immediately.

No, it'd be the worst.

You'd sound bored.

You wouldn't have that like the hoodspot.

People feel passion.

They feel authenticity.

It's a sixth sense that not everyone has it, but most people do it.

And I think our audience that absolutely has it.

Yeah.

Here's a little production question.

The United was saying none, but this was interesting.

Are there specific joke hook points?

What do you mean?

Like when Marcus works.

100%.

Like when you're riding, like the goal is to feed, I know you always talk about feed us meat.

But like how do you rectil the joke hit points?

Like hook points.

For me, that's, it's sort of a producer brain that I have working because there are certain things that it's like,

I could see a joke coming from that.

I don't know what the joke is.

I don't know what the bit is.

But I could see it's sort of that idea of hanging out with your friends.

And it's almost like a, I wouldn't call it a jukebox.

But it's, you know, if you're ever like, like, like, I wonder what my friend would say about that.

I wonder what my, you know, I wonder what they would think about that.

And it's just, and, but the thing is about is that you have to know the strengths of the people that you're working with.

You have to know what they're good at.

So if I, you know, see an opportunity for a funny scenario, a funny back and forth that can happen between the two of you or between any of us,

because it's the things we don't know how it's going to happen before it happens.

And it's just setting it up for the possibility of it.

And if it doesn't, if nobody picks it up, that's totally like, I move on.

There have been certain times in like, I said something.

It's like, no one's going to, no one's going to comment on that.

Like, we're just going to move right back.

Oh, it is.

Occasionally you'll warn us too.

Like that always helps me get my head in the right spot.

You know, because sometimes I don't want to get in your way.

I don't want to get in Henry's way.

You know, because like, you know, I learned that in roundtable.

It's like, you sometimes like, you know, there's so many people talking.

Sometimes you, if you got a joke in your head, you got to let it go.

Yeah.

And then, you know, I'll do what I can to try to find a way to like, bring it back.

But not always, you know, it doesn't always work.

So I, you know, you just got to let a lot of shit go, which always breaks your heart.

Yeah, it does.

But, um, but I do like when you're like, hey, I need a, let me do some Lyndon B. Johnson dick jokes.

Yeah.

That helps.

Yeah.

That, that, that, I only ask that when I know it's going to be funny.

Yeah.

Like when I know, like, I've got a good idea and I, like, and I know it's a good idea.

Cause you, you know, you always know when this is like, oh, no, this is, this is going to be great.

And people are going to like that.

And not to contradict what I just said a couple of moments ago, but I also like an assignment.

Yeah.

As much as like using like what I, like what I'm into is like a big thing for a whole episode.

But I also like what someone's like, do something on this.

Mm hmm.

Is that can really bust it open once I have it directive and what see what people want?

And that also, like the, the way that I do it, it also keeps the show, like fun and fresh for me.

As, um, like I'm almost an audience member.

Yeah.

Cause I want to see what y'all are capable of.

I want to see what you come up with.

And I'm excited every week.

I'm like, I wonder what they're going to come up with this.

Uh, so yeah, it keeps me coming back.

Um, and yeah, it's really fun.

Oh, yeah.

But you just, but that's the other thing too.

Is that you have to be with very talented people, very funny people for that to work.

Yeah.

What do you think your job would be if we didn't do this?

I mean, I mean, I'd be in the restaurant business to see only the other thing I'm qualified to do.

I don't have a degree.

I don't even have an associate's degree.

I got a high school degree, but you know, I'm pitching hold into cooking or comedy.

You know, that's the only thing I have any experience in.

So I would be in restaurant management and I would probably be an alcohol.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I mean, I, you know, I always have my backup plans where, um, either history teacher, history professor or, um,

because then it would be great because then I'd have more than a fucking week to learn things.

Yeah.

I could really like know them like I'm supposed to be some sort of fucking expert.

Like I could really dig into it, dig it deep and, you know, spend years with a subject which would be fucking incredible.

Or a funeral director.

That was also another, um, really.

Yeah.

That's a hard job.

Well, it was more, like more, more, more, more, more tuition, like, more to a very assistant.

Um, I think you still be great at more terrarious and I know a lot of cool people that are in the business too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, Mike, Mike Ferrin that, um, those moderation work for us here.

Uh, they, um, I, I helped them get through more terrarious science in school back.

You know, when I first moved to New York and I found it fascinating.

It was great.

It's just the hours are crazy.

You know, you've always, you know, you got to be called in at any time.

But I mean, honestly, if, uh, things didn't work out with us, I probably would be a cog in series XM.

Somewhere.

I always thought that, um, I'd be a good EMT just because when, when, oh, yeah, dude, yeah,

whenever someone like slices their hand open at work or whatever, I was always the guy fixing it and stuff like that.

Immediately.

You know, it's funny.

The back to work, not at least like that.

And I think it comes from her mom being a nurse.

Like she is, like, not to be a, she's just one of those.

It's like, but when I got hurt, she like snaps an action.

Yeah.

You need a really job.

What about you?

Obviously, um, back at borders.

Oh, no, it's close.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

You know, like I will say, yeah, I'm not a podcaster, but I still feel like I literally don't know what my other functions would be.

You have to be an entertainer.

I don't know what my other functions would be as a human being.

I was a terrible employee.

I was a bad student.

Uh, I was very good at all the stuff, right?

I passed IB because I was good.

I can talk my way pretty much out of anything.

What's IB?

That's the, it's a big, I got into a very power.

It was a very like fancy, uh, educational program that I was in in high school.

Oh, okay.

So the international baccalaureate.

Oh.

So like I did like, I was like, obviously very good at improv because I just made shit up to my teachers.

And they passed me and then I was like, but I had one of those like it was hard.

Like I don't know what I would do because I had so many real teachers that said to me,

you're not going to use this.

Like, you know, they, they would literally tell me you're not going to be doing math or science.

And it's like now I understand like that's semi insulting, but also they were right.

Because they're like, you have no, and you're like not here.

You know what I'm like, huh?

You know, like, because I wasn't there.

Yeah, it did.

Like when I would go back home and tell people like, yeah, you know, yeah, I moved to New York or L.A.

And they got like, that makes sense.

Yeah, we always figured you'd end up somewhere like that.

So, oh, thanks for telling me I never belonged.

Yeah, yeah.

We always thought you were a little quiet.

That's what it was going for.

I wrote one time in high school because I was such a bad high school student as well.

But I like, you know, I did all the pepper alleys.

I hosted all the stuff.

I was in drama.

Yeah, you were like me.

I was politically important.

Yeah, exactly.

I was in the school.

Yeah.

You know, I was in one bunch of awards.

I was all, oh, yeah, yeah.

Whenever the school needed to make a speech in front of a bunch of other schools, I was the guy that called.

See, I didn't know I'd ever read.

Dude, it's so funny, dude.

I was the worst student.

I was like the face of the class.

I spoke it like all the graduation ceremonies.

I was one.

I was at number 664 out of 666 students in my class.

I was never one time my English teacher who knew I was smart.

And but saw how little I respect for school.

She told my mom to come to class and see how I showed up to class.

And that day I showed up worse than ever.

I showed up no books, no pencils, no shoes.

That's fucking amazing.

Oh my god, Eddie.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Just so frustrating to see you fucking just the primate.

I just I bullshit and manipulated my way through all of high school.

And then it ended up being valedictorian.

But just 12 people.

You know, I was just 12 of us.

Yeah, and Julie was right behind me.

But yeah, definitely talked my way into that one.

And then it just went on.

Yeah, went on from there because I also was fired from so many jobs.

Worst, worst fucking employee.

Very bad employee.

And I was like, I, at this point, maybe I'd be just, you know, one of those guys that just works the record store and plays in a band quite a bit.

Just sort of, you know, count out the years.

I mean, not really accomplishing much.

Just like it's just going for it.

Where was that guy?

The guy that we met the future you, the old you.

We actually got the old in Grand Rapids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, captain Bizarro.

The guy that ran captain Bizarro's who's just like, man, you guys are fucking just so busy.

Yeah, I was just like, it's because you are so not busy, you might be dead.

You might physically be dead.

Everything you sell in the stores, decades old.

That's how little business you had.

You was about to close the store for an hour to go get a chicken par.

I love that.

I get it.

I get it, man.

We did it.

But those are the people to keep our country fucking running.

I love those people.

I love them so much.

Man, another our ears, a easier question.

Best food city we've performed in.

Worst food city we've performed in.

Worst Charlotte.

Yeah.

Best, I guess Dallas was pretty bad food wise also.

You know, well, no, I went to that sold food restaurant.

That was pretty fucking great.

You know what blew my mind food wise was when we did Rochester radio social.

Yes, radio social was radio social.

Really put it out there for extremely good food.

They gave us what was in duck legs.

They gave us so much food.

We couldn't even fucking deal with it.

That place was fucking great.

Oh, you know, it was kind of the best meal of the whole tour.

Marcus misted, unfortunately, was a Steiner Ranch.

Oh, that was a religious experience.

That was, I mean, well, we also like my buddies, the GM there,

shout out Jason Bailey, but, but he like they were open and bottles of wine that like,

I don't even know.

Like stuff that my palate shouldn't been allowed to eat it.

You know, we were like ill the next day because I never eat so much fat.

Yeah, it was unbelievable.

And they were like describing and they have like, they, they joke because that was like,

it's one of the most evil restaurants we could have gone to too.

Because it's like Greg Abbott's favorite restaurant.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're surrounded by the worst of the worst.

Pure evil, but wow, they eat good.

Yeah, we had our own patio.

Yeah, it's pretty fucking great, dude.

Calamans in Oklahoma City.

That was awesome.

Yeah, because it tastes like steak like my,

Oki Papa used to make and I never thought I'd taste steak like that again after you died.

Also, remember that place?

Where do we go to New York?

The prime rib place that we went to.

Down in the basement.

Yeah, my fucking God.

What was that place called?

That place was fucking awesome.

Can't remember.

Also, you remember that meal that we at me and Carolina had in Denver.

That place that had all of the old meat, the old style meat.

Old style meat.

Yeah, it's all a bunch of weird meats and really fucking good.

I love that kind of shit.

Palm Desert real bad.

Real bad food there.

Well, that is because of the, we already talked to the desert.

They're even desert.

Contacting the desert.

That is by far the worst food I've had in any performance venue that I have ever been.

Palm Bolt has really bad food.

Palm Bolt was specific.

But you don't expect them to have food.

The thing, one place that we ate wasn't bad.

That one place that we went to eat when we were in Palm Beach.

Oh, you mean over at the resort?

Where we met the chef who went to.

Yeah, Tommy Bahama.

The Tommy Bahama.

The Tommy Bahama.

It was fine.

The chef is a listener.

I don't know if going to restaurants that are known for their shirts.

Yeah, you can't go to a shirt based restaurant.

And I love shirts.

I love shirts.

Did you get trust them?

You're right.

The Charlotte is consistently every time we've gone to Charlotte is like, this is the worst meal

I've had all year.

Yeah, I had a pretty good sandwich.

Literally.

So I can't really say it.

I do believe that it was a pretty good sandwich.

Did you remember that sandwich in Urbana?

Man, that was fucking good.

That was special.

We stopped at a place that made its own pork keta.

Randomly.

And that's just Ed Sandwich.

That's a fat man.

I can find the sandwich in any time.

True.

What does the neat look for this place?

And I will also admit every time we go to London, the meat pies that I have there on the

happiest boy in the world.

I London had great food.

I don't know what everyone's talking about for all my life.

It's changed.

It's my favorite because it's got my favorite things in the world.

Meat pies and Indian food.

And that's London.

It is four Charles, Primeraib.

Was the name of the place we went to in New York.

Four Charles, yeah.

Four, four Charles.

Literally one of the best pieces of meat I've ever had.

It's so funny because they like the show.

They're fans of the show and they're like, usually like sometimes they're like, oh, we'll take

care of you coming to like, we'll let you have a reservation.

We'll thank you.

Thank you.

And they gave us a dessert at the end.

Someone actually asked you.

Oh, and one more thing.

The best Indian food meal I've had on the road was in Bristol.

I had chicken, vindaloo there.

It was the hottest thing I've ever eaten in my life.

I was down for two days.

I remember that.

Yeah, I remember that.

It was, fuck, it was incredible.

I did, but I did not regret it.

It was one of those times when the heat was absolutely worth the pain that I went through

over the next two days.

One of the single weirdest things I've ever eaten was in Manchester.

Right.

Accidentally, I was looking up all these things.

I was looking up kind of like, oh, what's the best in career?

What's the best place to go?

So I was like, oh, there's this new fusion place.

It's Indian Italian.

And I got it was Indian chicken parmesan.

And it was American cheese on a fried piece of chicken with the Korma sauce over it.

And it tasted like cartoon throw up, but not bad.

You know what I mean?

He didn't.

He's bad.

He just was the weirdest single combination of flavors I've ever had.

When UK gets into the fusion world, that's when they need to kind of roll back some of

the efforts because I went to a couple other fusion places in the UK.

And that's not really, I think in the UK, when I found my favorite kinds of foods in

the whole area or the stuff is right down the pipe.

And you're like, we're a pie shop.

We do pies.

Yep.

We're a steakhouse.

We do steaks.

That also my father always taught me is like, if you go to a place and it's Jimmy's

steaks, don't get the shrimp.

Do not be a difficult person.

The reason why they call the other things they barely sell those other items.

Someone actually asked you specifically, why British food Marcus?

It's in my DNA.

Yeah.

I think it really is because I didn't actually didn't know because yeah, I said it many

times.

Yeah, I did the 23 and me and it's 86% British.

Yeah, you have Bobby face.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, it's I'm like British through and through.

And I actually didn't know that.

I just went to England and every when we went England for the first time, it was the

first time I'd ever left America.

It was it was a two twenty sixteen, October twenty sixteen, I believe it was in the middle

of Brexit right before the election or Trump.

But we were there and everything that I ate was the most delicious thing I've ever had.

I just and I just loved it.

There was something about it.

I had an iron brew for the first time.

I was like, this is the most delicious soda I've ever had.

I had to meet pies like why are not all meats baked in pies?

I had fish and chips is like, why don't we do this constantly?

Why is this not everywhere all the time?

Why why did this great culinary tradition not carry through?

Can you kick them out of our fucking country for goddamn reason?

Someone else asked here, what would your last meals be?

Last meal?

Yeah.

You guys had to choose what your last meal was.

All you can eat for a crawfish boil.

Yeah.

Honestly, I probably have a big ol' chonco wagyu.

Is this for when I'm being executed?

Sure.

If I'm being executed, I want a big ol' pile of wagyu so I fucking have so much runny ass

diarrhea that they have to scrape it off once I'm done caked.

I'm fucking being electrified to death.

That's a tough one because I would it's between two things.

I would either go with a real nice lamb vindaloo or maybe a lamb, Rogan Josh.

You love lamb.

I love lamb.

Or a steak and alpai.

That's a big steak and alpai.

I think the steak and alpai because the Rogan Josh might mess with my tummy a little bit.

I want to be comfortable when I die.

I want to feel nice and full and a big, nice steak and alpai and iron broo and some crispy

chips.

I like that.

I have prong cocktail chips, I'd say.

Yes.

I just want all the fucking crawfish and shrimp I can eat.

You're a giant.

What are we going to go to New Orleans?

I hope we've not done New Orleans since I've been a part of the show.

We'll go there because New Orleans is a special place that I don't want to sell you with

work.

I do really kind of feel like and also I have found with a you know, transparency when we

don't come to a place because we don't sell a lot of tickets there.

So normally the reason why we didn't come to Vegas, we kind of cracked Vegas with side

stories, which we're going to try again.

Yeah, we've got to play to the locals.

New Orleans, we always kind of struggled with sell tickets because why in the living fuck

would you see a live podcast in New Orleans?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Go anywhere else.

Go see jazz.

Go to them.

Be in the city.

We know the streets.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The only place in New Orleans is more entertaining than I'll ever be in my life.

Yeah.

Because I didn't get New Orleans until I went without doing work.

Yes.

When we went for your birthday because every time I like I had this kind of ideas like

I don't really like New Orleans that much.

And the reason why I didn't like is because every time I was going to hotel room, I was

in this city of fun and joy and debauchery and I had to fucking work the entire time.

And it's horrible to be in a place that it's horrible to be in New York.

Or in New Orleans and have to work the entire time.

I feel the same way about Miami.

I really want.

Well, Miami is a great town for comedy and it's just never will be.

Nobody likes doing comedy.

Everyone's taking the street.

Why would you fucking go inside?

It is notorious for having the worst comedy audiences in the entire fucking country.

Unfortunately, I will have to say right now like we did Miami once and it is never going

to happen again.

No, we never.

We do need it.

We'll do Florida.

We're going to do Florida.

No, Florida.

But but Miami that was remember that was the show where I was chugging suit affet on

our chugging day quill on stage.

Yeah, and I also remember that was the show too.

That was like the tour where every show was solely sold out.

But Miami.

Yeah, Miami and Vegas.

Yeah, and Miami Vegas and Atlantic City.

Oh, yeah, those were.

I hope I never go to Atlantic City again.

We won't.

No, we won't.

No, we did a Caesar's and it was half empty.

So it's like those places.

I'm like Jersey.

But yeah, but I don't want to do Atlantic City.

So I'm sorry.

Mine too, Jersey too.

So will my try it.

I would love that.

Man, we need to do more Jersey.

Jersey is one of the most densely populated states in America.

I don't know why we don't go there.

Oh, because we go to New York.

Man, fuck that.

I have one question just because I want to manifest this so badly.

If we could get a pinball machine for the studio, which franchise would it be based on?

We get the Lord, we get the Lord of the Rings pinball machine, the one that was put out

a few years ago, the one that where you can actually go through every single level,

I've actually beaten it.

It's the only pinball machine I've ever beaten.

And I actually was talking in Carolina about this not two weeks ago.

I know.

Don't get Natalie started to.

She wants a pinball machine.

It's like, our house cannot become a fucking fud rockers.

Yeah.

We couldn't hold a studio or hold in his room up here.

He doesn't need any more distractions.

Yeah, he'll use it.

It'll be in the noise.

Yeah.

I would like, there is a, I think I've seen this once, maybe many years ago, this

probably like one or two of them that exists, but an adventurous afford fair lane pinball

machine.

That's a wonderful.

I've seen it when I was a kid and I've, oh, it's been, that's my white whale.

That's amazing.

All right.

What are your day to day work days like?

I work Sunday to Thursday because it is, yeah, because we record on Thursday.

I used to work Monday to Friday, but I was always useless on Friday after the crunch

that it takes to get the show every day out every week.

So yeah, it ends on Thursday.

Yeah.

Sunday, and yeah, I work half the time on node, or it's like a little less than half on

node-ogs and then the rest on last podcast.

It's just doing research, research, and then Wednesday is writing the script.

The first draft of the script, Thursday morning, I wake up, I write the second draft of

the script immediately, do the third draft, just like a read through at the end to fix

any sort of like chromatical things or any sort of stuff that just sounds awkward.

And then we go straight in and record.

That's every single week.

Yeah.

Monday's just a lot of business for me.

Monday's a due correspondence.

I try to get stuff done by the house.

We've been recording a lot of extra shows recently.

So a lot of that'll go on Monday.

Tuesday's side story stream.

We prep for side stories, record, do all the kind of stuff we kind of need to do.

Either shoot promos, do all kind of stuff during the day on Tuesday.

Then we do the stream.

Then Wednesdays is become, you know, we've been doing a lot of movie stories.

My main, that used to be my main big old, get everything ready for last podcast day, which

I normally still do, but I try to sprinkle it throughout the week.

And then Thursday clear out to do last podcast.

And then Friday I go to therapy.

And then everything else that falls into it right there.

Yeah.

I look at life right now is like, there's always something to do.

Yes.

That's never a moment when I'm like truly, truly relaxed.

I mean, I'm looking forward to our vacation.

That's coming up.

But the, you know, it's always something to do.

And especially now that I've been doing my own stand up, you know, there's lots of like,

you know, that's a lot harder to sell tickets to when it's not the big show.

Obviously.

And so I got to do a lot of promotion.

I got to do social media, which I fucking hate.

Yes.

And then, then a lot of it is, you know, the road, a lot of it's fucking sitting in airports.

Yeah.

And then I try to have a life.

And I don't, I'm not the same as you guys.

You guys work all night.

Sometimes you go home like you're always studying and shit like that.

I have to turn off.

Oh, yeah.

I turn off.

I turn off too.

Yeah.

I think I need more than both of you.

I don't know why, but like, because I feel like my hobbies are more evil than yours.

That's what it is.

You actually, this is your hobby also.

Yes.

I am already in sconce in a lot of the topics already.

Yeah.

And usually I will like turn off at night.

It's just there are certain times like when a subject get, when I fall in love with the

subject for a brief period of time.

That's when it'll be, you know, I'm.

All day all night like I'm reading and watching and absorbing and because it's like I want,

there's something my brain switches on and says you have to understand this.

Like you have to try as hard as you can to understand everything you can about this.

And that, and that's fun and, and relaxing for me.

But most of the time I do, I switch off at around like six.

Yeah.

When I feed the dogs.

Yeah.

I, it traveling is the hardest, but it's also my favorite.

And so it's a weird catch 22.

I love being other places.

I hate the process of traveling.

Yes.

So it's just been a lot of that lately.

And I, I just, you know, music soothes this all.

Yeah.

Um, my next question, where will be, where will the world be in 20 years?

I mean, either gone or thriving.

Yeah.

That's a big 50, 50.

Yeah.

Actually, I'm going to, I'll split the difference.

The king.

The king?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I had no idea.

I don't look good.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I have no idea.

But it doesn't seem like we're turning things around.

Man, I just watched total recall and Robo Cup in one day.

And I'm not, I don't have a positive view on life at all.

Yeah.

All that.

That's way more realistic than anything else.

I really feel like the way humans work is there has been, technically there has been

way worse periods of time than now.

We are in a long time.

I used to say the 60s were worse, but we're right in it.

We are in the least violent period of humanity ever.

That's true.

So we are in a, there is a way forward.

So that's how I, I think because of that fact, there's a way forward.

I think because a lot of what we're dealing with is esoteric, mixed with things that actually

need, we need help on.

And if we did have one pro social Trump like figure that wanted to go in and become

like a new FDR style person, which I think could very well happen considering the rise

of the democratic socialist party and how much that's kind of gaining some traction and

the idea that if there was one giant disruptor person, that's really all American, unfortunate.

That's how America kind of works in a way for us.

We can kind of get back on the right track.

If we have one guy that, or I'm going to some Sarm saying man, we have one person that

can come in an almost dictatorial style fashion and set everything back, right, and fix it

and go and put all the EPA stuff back in, all this kind of stuff.

And then I just think that humankind is almost cursed with an adaptability.

And I think that we will be surprised how much we will live and thrive through.

And that it actually takes quite a bit to destroy us.

I know, but I'm looking at it, man, I'm watching everyone get dumber.

I'm watching everyone on my friends get to everybody's everybody's, you are correct.

We are as a society at a low stock because I do believe everybody is dumber and anger

than they've ever been.

Used to have to remember shit, but I also think that we're going to see there is going

to be pen, there are always pendulum swings.

Yeah.

So I think we're already seeing the younger generation, the younger generation is ready

to crucify Sam Altman, like literally like the the alphas, the youngest generations

understand what's going on.

Zumer's are going to have to hit that wall.

You're all going to hit the same wall that we all hit, right?

You all, everybody has a big old fucking gigantic awakening when you hit four to years old.

I'm sorry.

Zumer's unfortunately have a really hard road ahead of him.

You're about, you're screaming towards a lot of problems, but I do think that it's, again,

it's social.

I think the big things are going to come that are going to destroy a lot of stuff or weather.

Yeah.

No, I mean, I think the weather is the thing that is going to really fuck some shit up.

Yeah.

Yeah, that to me is what makes me not so optimistic about the next like 20, 50 years because

it were way past the point of doing anything like we passed the point like years ago.

So we're way past the point of doing anything about it.

It's just something I have to not think about the, because if you start thinking about

it's the existential terror of all of it, because it's things that we are in the least

violent, like on a macro on a micro level.

Like yeah, personally, we're not killing each other anymore.

We're not shooting each other.

You know, it's not as violent as it was, but the problems that we have ahead of us are

existential and the more AI centers take our water, take our land and, and, and they're

going to cause us all to dive dehydration and stupidity and stupidity.

I also think you'd be surprised.

I think we're going to be surprised at we're just not going to die.

Right?

These things are all going to happen.

Oh, yeah.

And humans are still going to be alive.

You're going to live the last 20 years of your life in a fucking hospital bed.

But that's not necessarily true.

I do, it's not even, I actually view it, it's not really optimism.

I think it's a part of the human, it's how we work society.

I think that we're going to survive in anything.

Things like how zoomers are going to hit a wall or society is going to, it hits walls.

So we're going to, there will be a point when the environment, we're going to have to

lose a city.

And then everyone's going to be like, oh, we need to change everything.

Yeah, we'll lose Miami.

I think that is what's going to happen.

Probably not.

We mentioned earlier, honestly, we'll lose those New Orleans first.

But we're going to lose a city.

That is what's going to happen.

And that's going to everyone's going to be like, oh, wow, this is actually real.

This is in fake.

And I think that the more as a terror things become real, we will then be, we'll be interesting

to see how we then respond.

Because I think then there will be big changes.

And then yeah, sure, a lot of the damage will have been done.

But you'll be surprised how we can continue to live.

And then it is very possible.

Then if we almost in an accelerationist way, in my mind, if this is what we're doing,

let's fucking get to that fucking burnout point already then.

If you, let's see what you do then.

Let's see, they're in control right now.

The bad guys are completely in charge.

And we are seeing how they run things.

So if you like it, you can go vote for more of it if you want.

Or you can look and realize that we are drowning.

We're not drowning.

We're suffocating.

The world will be there long after human beings.

So the earth is growing nowhere.

There is a, it is like no matter how much we fucked it up, we'll die off in a million

years ago by and it'll fucking heal.

And everything will be fine.

But I think I had an existential crisis the other day just thinking about all the garbage

I've created personally.

Yeah, think about that.

And just like I've made enough garbage that would fill up like 10 of these buildings.

At least I think that one minimum.

I think that once a week it really fucks with me.

Now that I'm 40 and I just keep taking these giant bags out every week and I'm just like,

I've made a lot of this.

You know, and like, and I know what I try to keep it conservative.

But I know what I've made is insane.

So the amount of trash that's on this world is terrifying to me.

Which is why we have to build a giant nuclear reactor on moon where we can burn all the trash.

Thank you.

What I actually don't think is a bad idea.

What I hope is that we are going towards a sort of Star Trek storyline because you know,

in the Star Trek storyline, you know, it's, this is around the time in the Star Trek

history that shit just completely falls apart.

That starts falling apart.

I think like World War III happens in 2026 in the Star Trek universe.

Like and we're past the bell rights and all that because this is around the time that

American society specifically starts just completely falling apart.

There's a World War, there's a nuclear war and then humanity sort of rises from the ashes

again when you know warp is created and so and so forth.

But that's but I also notice like I look at Star Trek because you know Star Trek, the

technology is so simple, you know, it's like these pads and it's just words.

It's just pads and words and you know, there's not a lot of surveillance is it?

I'm watching it now and I'm thinking like we are starting to see how harmful having a

fucking entertainment box in our pocket everywhere we go.

It's like dopamine box, how harmful it is, how horrible it is and I could see a future

where we have to say like we can't have this.

Like we can't have we can't have these things anymore because it's just humanity can't,

we will entertain ourselves to death at every point.

If you're going to be smart, you don't no longer need to have the phone anymore.

And I feel like that's a part of what that is going to happen.

Yeah.

I do believe we're going to head into a form of highly technological,

ludite world.

So very much.

There's going to be like a mixture of the two where people themselves will not be

necessarily engaging with technology 24, seven, but technology will be around them that

will be available that they can use that has all of these capabilities.

Like why would you need a phone if technically you can send an email from the refrigerator?

Yeah.

You know what I was just thinking?

You know what it is where we're at right now.

For that old joke, if I could suck my own dick, I'd never leave the house.

Yeah.

That's what humanity's doing right now.

Right now we're all sucking our own dick constantly.

And that's why nothing feels good and everything's kind of like vaguely unsatisfying.

Yeah.

We're in a, we're in the novelty zone.

And I think with the novelty zone is going to, it brings about a lot of stuff.

So I, I, again, it's not optimism.

I feel like we're just like chained to our fate of survival.

Yeah.

We're going to, that's the, the issue is that we're not going to die.

The issue is that we're going to live.

And then we have to keep going.

And so that's the, that's going to be.

And then it's going to, we have to take it from there.

I guess we could, I mean, we're pretty close here.

Do, do one more.

Two more.

So when it's just how flat is Henry's ass really, I actually have some meat there now,

but I have to stop it because I was doing squats.

We had some really, really awesome guests on the show the past couple of years.

Who's like your dream guests on the podcast?

Dead or alive?

Matt, you know, my dream guest used to be Robert England.

And now we hit it.

So now I got to think of a new one.

Give me a second.

Um, you guys go first.

Elrond Hubbard.

Always dead.

Dead or alive.

Dead or alive?

Elrond Hubbard is the only person in all of last podcast, all of the people that we've

covered that I still honestly think would be the funnest guy.

Like I think that Elrond, if you were like unlike all the other ones, I think Elrond

or Crowley within a bore, I think Anton Lave was the fucking kind of a schmuck.

Well, these other kind of things, I think Elrond would have been hilarious.

Mm hmm.

Uh, Manson.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I'd love to talk to him.

Dude, Matt, like interviewing Manson, it's like writing a bull.

Like it would be like the interview equivalent of writing a bull.

Like, I understand.

I understand that.

Yeah.

Sometimes like a conscious little Manson pops through.

Yeah.

In those interviews.

Like if you could find like the angle and find the way for him to try it like to, like

if you make him feel safe and make him feel like he can be like vulnerable with you, it's

that, that's interviewing Manson, he adds writing the bull of interviews.

And if you could get it, if you could get him to get into like specifics and keep him

from going off into philosophy and keep him from going off into anything that's like

way out out there where he's just talking like I'm just a man who's being about, you

know, my, my, my, my, my, my, my martyr, you know, like if you get him to talk specifics,

then you have something great because he is an entertainer.

And I just love to, I would have loved to have looked into Manson's eyes.

Maybe Oppenheimer.

Weird.

Oppenheimer.

Yeah.

Because of his regrets and stuff like that.

And it's just fucking, who knows what that man really knew?

Like, like the wealth of knowledge that was just inside of his fucking head.

Not Damirino.

I, I've talked to Damirino.

Oh, wow.

I don't want to really, guys, I, I'm not trying to trap me.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Any, when did you talk to Damirino when I was a child?

Oh, let's talk to Damirino.

He's been many years.

Did he sign your Isotowners?

Yeah, he signed a piece of loose leaf paper I had.

Wow.

I had to give me to Marino.

You're my favorite.

I need to go to the bank.

Go home.

We'll sign my homework.

I had that same experience when I was a 14 with Rob Zombie.

Yeah.

I was visiting my aunt here in Los Angeles.

And we were at Universal Studios and he was there planning that year's Halloween

Horror Nights.

And we passed by him and I just said, like, I think that was Rob at the time, why

it's on me was my favorite day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think that was Rob Zombie.

And my aunt is like, go fucking chase him down.

And so I ran back and chased.

And I was like, hey, I didn't Mr. Zombie.

Mr. Zombie.

That was just a great thing to call somebody.

It really was.

Yeah.

And he was getting into a limo.

And I was like, can I have your autograph?

And he's like, yeah.

And as like, I don't have any paper.

And he goes, it's parking attendant.

Go to the parking attendant.

And so like I sat and waited for me at his limo while I ran to the parking attendant.

And it's like, sir, can I have a piece of paper and a pen?

And he gave it to me.

And I ran back and he sounded like Rob Zombie.

You go, kid.

That's all that sweet.

He was extraordinarily sweet to a 14 year old fan that would have been in 97 or something.

You know, I didn't want to talk to, but it wouldn't be good for the show.

Just like for my own personal, I'd love to have like sit down and have a nice long dinner with Stephen Van Sant.

That's my boy.

Yeah.

That would be fun.

That's my boy.

I fucking love him.

I think that would be, nothing would make me happy.

Oh, if it had nothing to do with the show.

I think the person I would want to just sit and have a conversation with would be, I'm trying to like,

first things in my mind is a somebody like William Friedkin.

Oh, man.

William Friedkin, be so much fun.

I'm in the middle of the William Fried, or I just finished the William Friedkin chapter in Easy Writers and Raging Bulls.

Yeah.

God, what a dick.

Easy on it.

He's funny.

No, he's very funny, but that holy shit.

Fascinating man.

Fascinating man.

Now they're following Paul Verhoeven.

Paul Verhoeven.

Paul Verhoeven is a completely insane.

I love how fucking insane he is.

I love him so much.

Um, and I, I, I, I'm trying to think, is there anything else here?

What's your favorite snack?

Favorite snack.

Um,

Deli meat.

Just like sliced turkey.

Just a hand.

I got a crack.

Work on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, cherries.

Oh, wow.

I just said, uh, I'll just sit and eat like cherry season is wonderful for me.

And you know, it's only half the year, but I'll just sit and eat just cherries after cherries after cherries.

Yeah, I spit the pits out.

I, I actually get a high ball glass, and I put the, the stems in the peg.

Yeah, no, that's good for you.

That's why cherries are great.

Oh, also peelin' each shrimp.

I mean, if I could eat peelin' for the shrimp all day, man.

I wouldn't stop, dude.

I'm the pink.

Whichever fucking blowman goes, now.

My favorite snack is hard boiled eggs.

I'm not even joking.

I know it's true.

I eat, we'll talk about it.

You're gonna see it on this week's side stories, moot.

Yeah, I eat a lot of hard boiled eggs.

Oh, yeah.

Well, this has been nice, guys.

What is it with you and Carolina?

There's these things that the two of you share.

I love it.

You're both hard boiled eggs.

This morning she had four hard boiled eggs for breakfast.

That's what I eat for breakfast.

It's full.

Yeah.

Eggs.

Where's my eggs?

Eggs.

Eggs.

I was just, because Jackie would have been so good in that part.

Yeah.

And play flamingos.

Jackie really was like, she didn't really appreciate it when we were all watching it together.

And I was explaining to Jeff being like, this is who Jackie's supposed to really be.

Yeah.

You were wrong.

She's supposed to be Edith Massey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you think she's supposed to be Edith Massey or specifically the egg leg?

The egg leg.

Yeah.

He's ruining that first.

Yeah.

So, Hellsite, and then this has been wonderful and we love your curiosity.

Hellgain, thank you so much.

Hell.

For listening and for being cool.

Yeah.

Hell, little Stephen.

I love you buddy.

Love you little Stevie.

I think the new teeth look great.

The old teeth were fine with the new ones.

Wow.

Of course the lean.

I would love to eat with your mouth.

I would love to use his teeth as plates.

And I want to say thanks to little Steve for giving Lini Kay a DJ job.

Because I love Lini Kay's show on little Stephen's underground garage.

I don't know if he hires anybody there anymore.

I don't know.

I love Lini Kay's.

Come on up.

We have the electric prude in 1968.

Honestly, far too much to dream last night.

Let's go.

You know, at least that's a good song.

I hate when underground garage quote unquote plays nothing but rolling stones in the beetles.

And it's like, it's not underground.

That's why you got to listen to Lini Kay's show.

It's the night time show.

Yeah, he actually picks the songs probably.

Yeah, Lini Kay, oh man, I used to always see him with the record fairs and record stores in New York.

But I never got the, I never had the, the hoots, but it go up and say hi.

Yeah, well, you know, you don't want to meet musicians most of the time.

I saw a little Stephen once and I was actually listening to little Steve.

It's underground garage while I saw him walking his dog and I didn't say hi and it haunts me to this day.

It should.

Yeah, we'll have to find him.

Yeah, we'll see what I could do.

Bye, little Stevie.

See you later.

You cool cats.

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