She Trusted His Promise... Then He Changed Everything S4 Ep37

0:00Look out for all the things we've done. Get it all with love. Build it on the bottom of all I want is you. You're my favorite view. But that's nothing more. Girl, you made my heart beat. And we are back. Welcome back, BumbleBitches. Season four, episode 37, I think of the To Be Better podcast. We still have to figure out we're going to start calling the Friday emails because it's just going to be emails. We have a lot going on right now. So just so that you guys are aware what we're currently doing is we are changing our entire format. Moving forward, the public will only be getting email content. Fridays, Mondays and Fridays will only be emails moving forward. Patreon on the other hand is getting a fuck ton of other content that you guys don't want to hear about anymore. You're thinking stuck to your straw. Oh, no. Well, give me that.

1:01I drink right out that motherfucker. I'll lick your armpits. Why don't give a fuck? God, you make me feel so good about being me. Sorry. That was. I'm not I'm not sorry. We're ashamed for that matter. My husband likes me. Patreon's getting a whole lot of shit that you guys aren't getting anymore. All of our parenting stuff, BPD stuff, mental health stuff, courting stuff, random shit that we feel like recording. We've done some you've done cooking videos in the past. We've done some reaction videos. We've watched movies. There's a whole lot of shit that we're doing for Patreon exclusively. They get live streams almost every single day. We are really transitioning the podcast into new things and what that transitioning is kind of a new thing that I want to announce. I want to start doing simple question episodes where somebody can write in with a paragraph or less asking about something that's going on. And I need a little bit of information. You can't just be like, should I quit my job? That's not going to help me help you.

2:01My woman yells at me. How do I get her a stop? Right. Right. If you send stupid shit like that, it's going to get deleted. It will never make it past the email screen or we're going to think that you're dumb. You are because you don't understand the way communication and conversations work. So take the extra second and give us a little blurb about what's going on and then ask the question. You can do the subject. Just be questioned for Chris and send it to two, the number two, be better, c o at gmail.com. We are going to either use that for what was funny about that. What? So you said, I can't believe I'd say this out loud. You said that. If you do that, we're going to think you're dumb. And I was like, wow, what an asshole. My mind just said, I'm free. And I like you had like no hair, but like there was wind blowing. And you were like my Fabio, you're an asshole and I like it. Six more months, the beard will blow in the wind. Yes. You got to think this is less than three months.

3:03Oh my God. I was not excited about this before, but I'm excited about it now. I can't wait for your beard to cover your nipples. Yep. You're doing some some very dirty things. Do that now. You wear the fucking dress in house. So back to the episode. You guys just missed a whole lot of vulgarity. I don't remember what we were talking about. Oh, the email to the number two, be better c o at gmail.com. Questions for Chris, keep it to a paragraph or less. Two if you have to. And then they will get screened, they'll get put into a folder. And when I have free time at three o'clock in the morning or when she takes the kids to the bounce house or she's outside gardening for two hours. And I've got nothing going on. I can come back here, record 20, 30 minutes an hour, two hours if I want to. And then we can either add it to episodes to lengthen the content that we're already making or I can drop standalone shit, depending on how I feel like doing. It will be to be better stuff. It will not be on side channels. It'll just be main content. And it's something that I'm looking forward to doing. Now a minute ago, you said I was an asshole because that was an asshole thing to say.

4:06I'm back. Wasn't ready. All right. There's a I've had this has been a rough year for me. Yeah. Like I'm not like I'm not been depressed. This has not been a depressive year for me. This has not been a like an overly difficult year for me. But this has been a year of transition. Who am I? A lot of a lot of things have come up and a lot of things have been worked through. And a lot of traumas have been healed and a lot of a lot of evolution has happened. And the only way that I can think about this is the last eight to nine months of my life has been that metamorphosis where that old me had to become a goo and solidify so that the new me can come out of this chrysalis. Right. I am, but the who I was originally is still very much a thing. I just needed to find my footing again. I am angry. Yeah. Instead of trying to pretend that I'm not an angry person, I'm finding it. I need to find a new way or place to direct that energy.

5:11That's just part of my personality. Sometimes it's anger, sometimes it's passion, sometimes it's frustration. Sometimes I just don't want to deal with people's dumbass bullshit. And I view it that way and real shit like I know that that's not a healthy way to view every situation. Some people genuinely need compassion. The problem is is I don't see a victim. I see somebody that's made a bunch of fucking decisions and now they're reaping the benefits of what they sowed. And I don't feel sorry for you for that. And I'm not going to be empathetic and hold your fucking hand and tell you that everything's going to be okay because it's fucking not going to be okay unless you change your goddamn life. So like I had a whole lot of epiphanies this morning like this has been a very, today's been a day of awakening for me. So I love that. You're so hot in this moment. We want to evolve into grow and to become more than what we were. And sometimes that looks like becoming a new version of yourself. Sometimes it's about understanding yourself more clearly and continuing the progress on

6:14the road that you're on. You may have to backtrack sometimes, right? Sometimes it's going to be a apology that need to be made. Sometimes you missed your fucking turn. You just got to figure that shit out and go. Yep. I'm not saying that I'm going to be season one, Chris. I'm not saying that that's not going to be the case either. So I have also gone through a period of transition this year. And I think that the dream interpretation that I actually did lie for our Patreon, shout out to the the hundred patrons who stuck through that with me and actually listened to my dream interpretation. That dream did a lot for me. That dream was the, I guess you could say the period at the end of the transition. I got to the end of the book and it finally all clicked for me and I understand what's happening. I've also experienced a lot of anger this year. Why do you think that is because I do too? Well this year, I know that we're in a new year. I can't remember what this is the year of the, it's not the year of the horse. What year is it?

7:14I actually think it is the year of the horse. Look at me just fucking no one shit and second guessing myself. Fire horse. 2026 is the year of the fire horse. Look at that. I need a, I need a quick second guess in myself. This year brought a bunch of new shit, right? New energies. I believe that we are getting closer to picking our polarities, right? I think that there is going to be a separation in the mindset of humanity going on. And I believe that the trials and tribulations, we could say the things that are increasing our anger and frustration are really testing us on who we want to be and who we're going to choose to be. I believe that this is also, we're snakes between a rock and a hard place. We're shedding our skin and I believe that that anger is also from, like we can't get that one fucking piece off. And now we can't just get that one piece off. It's irritating and it's causing redness on our skin and all of the other traumatic things that come from rebirth. We also had a loss this year. Had a lot of losses this year.

8:17Not just that one specific one, but we've had a lot of, so death is not a bad thing. Right? Like in your terrible readings, the death card is not necessarily a bad thing. That loss is a big deal, but that loss created a whole lot of other opportunities and a whole lot of perspectives that I didn't have before. And I'm realizing that I'm grieving relationships. Like there's been a lot of loss. Like it's not just death, the fire horse thing before it. I forget that I want to read this. This only happens every 60 years. It symbolizes intense momentum, bold action and catalytic change. Yeah. It is a period that favors decisiveness, independence and taking risks rather than overplanning. You also said that there's a whole lot of, we're choosing our polarity. I was, this is one of the things that I've been hung up on because I know that I have to like, if I'm going to do fourth density, I have to to move towards one or the other. And I do want to be in a more positive polarity being and I want to love and be compassionate, but my love and my compassion doesn't look like gondis.

9:18It never will because it's not who I am as a person. I'm not going to coddle people just because they're fucking weak and need coddled. Like the world in the universe doesn't do that. I don't think that's love. I think you're doing somebody a really big disservice by helicopter parenting and giving participation trophies and never letting somebody struggle and go through hardships. We get stronger and we evolve because we, we get hurt and we fail. What do you, how are you going to know if you're ever really truly capable of it? Anything. If you've never truly failed in life, you want to live your entire life feeling safe. What the fuck does that even mean? Safe from what? I have to find a better word because I'm not angry. I have anger. It's a difference. Somebody said gone. He was peaceful. Sure, but he also did some questionable things. No one is perfect. Why does everyone say that when gone to get sprout up? Say, say he say we know he was a womanizer. Yeah. Right. Serial killer.

10:19Motherfucker was a serial killer and we had no idea. We find out about it a hundred years from now. Does that change the impact that he had on the world by doing nonviolent protests to literally change the course of human history on an entire continent? Everybody's done some shit that they ain't proud of. Right. You're negative things. Don't erase the positive things that you do. Right. But why do we get so hung up on pointing out people's flaws? Let him without sin cast that first stone. Reward the positive. We don't need to get hung up on the negative of things. He's not currently doing that shit. If they knew he was doing that shit then and didn't do anything about it, that's a problem. It's real easy to look back on some shit and to fucking say, well, they did that and they did this. It's no different than an officer involved shooting. It's real fucking easy for somebody in the safety of their living room to say what he should have done in that moment. Life threatening moment.

11:19Right. When he had half of a fraction of a second to make a decision that could cost him his life, yeah. We're another really good example of this is Michael Jackson. I believe Michael Jackson touched those fucking kids. Yeah. Can't change my mind. There are, I believe that there is a very large bias because they have known him since he was five. He grew up in front of the world. I believe there was massive bias during that time. And now that we are decades past that, didn't have the love for Michael Jackson, the older generation does. I believe that I can see things with less than emotional lens. Probably. Dude had a really good voice. Right. I can say that I believe that he did those things. I'll also acknowledging that he fucking changed the history of music. I can also acknowledge that he had a fucked up childhood. The things that his father did to not just him, but his siblings, you know, every, there's a duality in everything in life. That person in the chat said, I said that no one's perfect. It doesn't negate what was stated beforehand.

12:21And this isn't a fuck you. This is, this is just a challenge of the mindset. Like there's not a reason to point out somebody's shortcomings. I just don't see the reason to do that. If somebody is currently doing some foul shit, that needs to be addressed because it could be stopped with the person. Right. That's just talking. Yes. Yes. Sometimes bringing things to light is what could save somebody's life and get that shit to stop. But God, he's been dead and gone for a long fucking time. Like those things that he did happen. So Martin Luther King Jr. was a womanizer too. Yeah. Are we going to point that out by talking about the Jim Crow era and all the shit that he did? Like, I don't give a fuck about that. I don't like that. That was a timeframe. Like that was history. That was the way people were treated back then. Is it wrong? Absolutely. But it doesn't negate the fact that there was change made. I think we need to talk about both of them simultaneously. If we only talk about the good and erase the bad, then we are altering history. Like we are changing the narrative. We are leaving things out. Yeah. I don't know.

13:21We live in a, we want the drama. We want the tea. We want to feel good about ourselves because other people's shortcomings. I see that perspective. I'm not trying to live up to somebody's negative. That's not my, that's not my goal post. My goal post is the positive. I'm trying to evolve and to be better not to compare myself to somebody else's ugly. There's enough of that. I got enough demons in me for a lifetime. Yeah. I don't need to compare myself to somebody else's sin. Like this thing is good. No, I agree with that. 100%. Yeah. I agree with that. My perspective is separate from that conversation. Is that if we only talk about the good of the person, we're not talking about the person as a whole. And at that point, I feel like it's a fabrication. You are omitting things, right? And if we're looking at the duality of life with the breathing and the contracting of everything, if we don't talk about the bad things that they did while also simultaneously being good, then I think we put them on a pedestal and makes it unachievable. Okay. So let me ask you this. Do you think when we have conversations about what Gandhi did or what Martin Luther King

14:22did when it comes to the civil rights movement or even what we talk about, Genghis Khan, taking over all of Europe? Are we having conversations about what they accomplished or are we having conversations about the people? Well, it depends on the conversation. If we're talking about, I have a dream speech. We're not going to talk about the fact that he may have been a womanizer. We're talking about the speech, right? That's the focus of the conversation. But if we're talking about the person as a whole, like a bibliography, biography, bibliography, bibliography, what the fuck? If we're talking about like biography context, I am expecting the good, the bad, the ugly, the joyful moments, all of that. I want a complete person. How often do we have those conversations, though? We're having it right now. Right now. How often do we have these conversations? Because we talk about the action, not the people. The actions are what changed the world. The character of the person only matters when it's being scrutinized. I talk about, I don't know, like recent, you and I haven't had conversations like this,

15:27but Janay and I have had conversations about a person and their actions almost daily because we're growing through Greek mythology right now. And like we're talking about the stories, but we're also talking about like fucking adissious. But those are this mythology. The fucking Chad in the bad context. Right. Yeah, it's a mythology, but still we're breaking down like there are lessons taught that a shitty person who did bad deeds can change and become a good servant of humanity. But you're now talking about the lessons. That's what I'm getting at. Maybe it's just me. I don't, I'm not sitting around here talking about what other people did or like what they're doing with their life. If they're doing good things, I want to talk about the things that they're doing that's pushing change or evolution of humanity or whatever the case may be. I feel like if we're sitting around, like real shit. We did that bunny and jelly roll episode where we were talking about their divorce and I felt like a busy body. Yeah. I felt like a gossiping little bitch the entire time that we were doing that episode.

16:29Then why did we do it? Because we were chasing numbers. That's the honest, that's the honest answer. I wanted to do that because for four years, people compared us to them. Yeah. And now there's a whole lot of ugly coming about there about their relationship and like there's a whole lot of stupidity that was going around it and like there's a part of me. This is truth. There's a part of me that got real ego-tistical because we survived past them that our shit is healthy. You've never been passed around for money to support us. There's a whole lot of, and real shit, that's something that I need to work on because that's a character flaw. I shouldn't be comparing me to somebody else's shortcomings. This is exactly what I was just talking about. I feel like a busy body when we do shit like that. I don't like gossip shit. I guess I view it differently because I don't feel like I'm comparing myself to somebody when I'm talking about their achievements and their failures. Yeah. And I'm getting a ruptured just now. That was the end of what I was saying. I see your perspective. I understand what you're saying.

17:29We're having two different conversations. No, I know. I'm very aware that we're having two different conversations. And it's just one of those things that like we're arguing two different points or making two different points. So there's no point in like, I guess continuing this forward because we're not having the same conversation. Yeah. Anything else you want to talk about? No, I'm ready to give these emails. Guys, there might be an opportunity coming up in the near future where I pay somebody to watch content. There's a lot of things that is going on with the podcasts and I feel like we need more perspectives. At one point, we had me clipping, AJ clipping, two or three other people watching content and making clip notes. And then we were going through and finding the best ones from five different perspectives. And right now, we only have one perspective finding things. And like, I'm very unhappy with the trajectory of the social media numbers. Before we get into emails, I want to talk about my dreamtinctures again. As you guys know, because I haven't shut up about it.

18:31I am hyperfixating on dreams right now. I believe that there is a deeper conversation to be had with the you that only comes alive at night and the conversations that can be had through the interpretations of symbolism and colors and conversations and all these kinds of things. And I have decided to create dreamtinctures. I am sending out to my testers today, the first two, the level one, level two, Moon Whisper and the Vale to get there. Perspective of it. I have already tested the Moon Whisperer and the Vale. I have done them last night in the night before. I talked about Moon Whisperer on another episode somewhere. That might be only a Patreon content. But I wanted to share this here. This can be cut and saved for Patreon as well. I don't care. But I took the Vale last night, which is the level two of the dreamtincture. So it's a little bit more intense, a little bit more vivid, a little bit more dream recall. And I'm so excited about this. I sent this to my private dream we've reached out this morning.

19:32And they were also excited about it, which fed into my excitement. I had two separate dreams last night. And in the first dream, I was on a bus. We were doing like a group vacation thing like Costa Rica and Thailand. My husband was not sitting next to me. I don't know if he was somewhere buying fruit or if he was using the restroom, but I was trying to listen to something on my phone. And somebody on the bus saw what I was trying to do. And they're like, here you can use my headphones. And I fucking looked at the headphones and I was like, thank you. You are wonderful. Use the headphones. Listen to the video that was the end of that dream. In the second dream, I was starting to get goosebumps. My husband and I were in a hotel room. This was a completely different dream. My husband and I were by ourselves, somewhere doing something together. I think it felt like Vegas maybe. And my husband was helping me unpack my things and he picked up a pair of headphones. He asked me, I wrote it down on my dream journal, something along the lines of where did you get these from or who's are these? And I turned around and I looked and they were the fucking headphones from my other dream.

20:38I saw a phone in my dream. I did. And I clocked it in my dream. I turned around and I looked at my husband and I was like, I borrowed those headphones from somebody else in a different dream. I don't know if I transferred them. Like that was something that I was able to bring with me from my other dream or if you reached into the pocket of my ether and pulled the headphones out and went, what? Very excited to deep dive this and interpret. I've never had anything like that happen in my dreams before where there was a transfer of an object and you were able to see the object and I was able to clock that that was from a different dream that those don't belong to me. Right. Oh, the only thing I've ever had happen like that is I had a dream once that I had a winning lottery ticket and I knew I was sleeping. But I believed that if I was holding it in my hand when I woke up, it would be there in real life. Oh, man. Yeah. And like I was death clutching that shit, trying to wake myself up while holding it and

21:39I woke up my hands were in fear. I was so disappointed. Yeah. It's crazy the way that your dreams can feel real sometimes. Right. So we said, I hope I'm lucky enough to get a tincture because I'm so pissed. I can't remember my dreams. The tinctures will be available on the website for sale and limited drops. We just, they need to be tested. We need to make sure that it's just more than one person testing to see what's what before we start sending things out. So. And I have a plethora of women right now. Carrie got to, she got the Moon Whisper in the veil. She has had no dream recall. She said for the past couple of months, I told her to, if I were her, if I haven't dreamed in a while, dreamt in a while, I would take the Moon Whisperer to start with because it's the least intense. But my other ladies, there's one with a gluten intolerance, different dietary things, couple of different digestive systems. So I have me and four other women taking the dream tinctures.

22:40Now I'm going to get report back on. I haven't had any nausea. I have woken up in the morning with great moods the past two days. Because you're getting real REM sleep. Yeah. Yeah, we sent out a Bree, Jazzy and Amber Lee got sample sent out. Joko will get sample sent out to when I get his molo beads in the mail. But I don't have anything else to talk about. So we can get into this whenever you're ready. So this one is titled advice. Is this a Patreon email? This is not. This is a regular viewer email. Good evening. I have been conflicted lately with a few things and I'm having an issue entirely figuring it out myself. I've watched your podcast for a while now and wanted to seek your advice or opinions. My boyfriend, 25 and I, 28 have been together for two years. I can't. You cougar. I like it's a joke that I want to make every single time and I was going to bypass it.

23:41But it felt like my mouth would not allow me to move until I made the joke. Hot Pockets. Hot pockets. So guys that autism thing comes from the hot pocket sound. I was watching a thing last night that says that we're talking about the certain collider and the Mandela effect. And they said that everybody born before 2009 remembers all the things differently than people born after 2009. You have to pay on your time frame because they say that the switch happened in 2009. So like I remember all the sprites bottles being green instead of clear. They're clear now, but they were green before. I remember thinking that that drink was green until I put it in a clear cup. Right. Like don't play with me. The Kit Kat dashed curious George's tail. Like there's a whole lot of the Bernstein bears. Like there's a whole lot of like my childhood that was definitive for me and seeing all of this shit. And then you know what, I'm not doing this to myself today. I'm not doing this to myself today.

24:41I chick filet is the one that's really fucking me up because it's never had a K in it. Nope. And I remember it not having a K because I went to Google it a couple of years ago and I added the K and Google went you dumb fuck. Yeah. You thought it had, oh my God, you thought chick filet had a K. Wow, let me school you real quick. Yeah. I will never forget that self-imposed embarrassment. Can't convince me it always had a K. Yeah. I've seen people holding items where it did not. There are people with like holding two cups. One has the K and one doesn't like. I have totally accepted that I am not in control of anything and I universe hop when other people deem. There are more powerful beings like scientists with a CERN. Yeah. A lot of people think that that CERN is using the scientists are using it to time travel. Want to be surprised? Yeah. I believe in the multiverse theory and like parallel universe is happening at the same time.

25:42Like, you know, when you think about the midnight library, every decision that we make could split our life. Yeah. I also think that when you have moments where like you guys almost have it, you have a near death experience where something could have killed you and like after the incident, like say you're driving and you have to slam on your brakes that panic as you're slamming on your brakes in the moment that you don't hit whatever's in front of you. You're instantly calm and it's not a big deal. That instant calm is the version of you that just died taking over your body. I don't think it's taking over your body. I think that it's reconvening. Yeah. Like, I agree. I believe that every massive life decision, right? Having a child getting married, avoiding a car accident, those kinds of things, it splits, kind of like Voldemort. Yeah. And there's little pieces of us that keep going on in different realities. You know, and then that one, that one dies that or like that deja vu moment. I think that's a reconvening too. Yeah. I never thought that was a thing until I read something that said that there's only 400 and 517,000 souls and the 8 billion people that's here.

26:47It's because we keep dividing our souls to continue to live this existence. Yeah. Parallel universes, whatever. Yeah. Crazy. You know, theoretical bullshit, but it's fun to think about, but you really never know. You know, if God is able to put a part of himself into everything that he creates, and we are a, he's a macro creator and we're a micro creator, right? Why can't we do the same thing? Right. It's like that episode of Rick and Morty. I had never watched Rick and Morty. When I was super depressed and like smoking chain, like chain smoking, you mean cannabis right? Yeah. Yeah. Like I was not, when I didn't have the children, I was just nonstop blitzed. That was my comfort show. Yeah. So like I haven't watched any of the new seasons because now that I've healed, it's very disturbing to me. But there's an episode where Rick successfully creates a miniverse that self-sustaining sufficient that have their own scientists and then they go down there and he's like,

27:50they think that I'm God. And then they go down there and there's a scientist there doing the exact same thing, creating a miniverse that has little dinosaurs and shit and he's like, I'm so close to it. And that that scientist is like, I'm going to create a civilization and then convince him that I'm God. So like it's it's just an infinity continuation of after that massive sidetrack. Continuing. Yep. Every friend 25 and I 28 have been together for two years. Before we made anything official, we both sat down and had the talk of when we would be ready to move in with each other, get ready to be when we would be ready to be married if things were doubt, etc. Do you think that's manifesting or do you think that's foolishness? You're going to set up a timeline with somebody that you don't even have an official commitment to yet. That's a really good point. And both of those are valid. You're either manifesting marriage and children and all of these things within the next three years or you're setting a very unrealistic expectation with somebody that you don't

28:55fucking know yet. What do you know about somebody that you don't live with? That's true. Have you seen a meltdown because they're having a texture issue or because the yogurt's not in the right cup? I'm not saying that everybody's autistic, but I'm saying that I've watched some normal people have meltdowns about some really weird shit. Yeah. What does your conflict look like? What does your conflict resolution look like? You want to talk about having babies with somebody and you ain't even had a fight yet? Do you even think about it that way? Before we made anything official, we both sat down and had the talk of when we would be ready to move in with each other, when we would be ready to get married if things were doubt, etc. I don't think you can plan the move in with each other. How old are you? 25 and 28. 25 and 28. All right. So, if I'm halfway to 30, you're close to 30. I can see having a timeline of like within the next five years I want to be married with children. And if they're like, yeah, I agree with that. Then we just take the relationship from there, right?

29:57Like we have the same end goal next five years. Like we're both serious about this. We're both looking for marriage. I'm not putting a timeline on the next three months I want to be moved in together. I'm going to be more focused on do I enjoy this person? I also have a different timeline than most people when it comes to making things official. I would think that the first four or five dates is the courting, but that also depends on how far apart the dates are. I'm a busy person. I can squeeze you in when I can squeeze you in if I really enjoy you, right? Like, you, for example, I made a lot of time for you in the beginning. So we were seeing each other when I didn't have the children three, four times a week. Right. Yeah, I can't put a timeline on the move and date. That is a based on feeling and compatibility thing. I moved in with you because you said you didn't want me to leave anymore. Yeah, yeah, I hated when you home. He did it when you went home. I can't say it's foolish and I can't say that it's being a proper because it depends

31:00on the context. Yeah. There are people out there who are so desperate for somebody else to be their stability that they fast track things and don't pay wearing rose-clithered glasses. All the red flags look like flags. Yeah. Somebody on the chat said they're just trying to see if their timelines match and not really make a timeline. They're just trying to see if marriage and babies are on the same page. It's a different conversation between time and asking if you want to get married and if you want to have kids. What does your retirement look like? Those are all super healthy questions. Trying to establish a timeline of when you're going to be married, when you're going to have your first kid, when you're going to move in together before you are in a committed relationship with somebody is that's like run. Yeah, that would be a lot for me. Yeah. So like if we're sorry. That's why I asked if it was manifesting because you could view that as manifesting or if you think it's just foolishness. Yeah. If I was sitting down with somebody and we haven't like where we are discussing.

32:02Nope. This is too much of a distraction for me. I feel like this is a teachable moment. I feel like somewhere out there in the world, there's a woman who would nag you about this over this. You know you're going to get kidney stones. I can't believe you're fucking drinking that. Yes. I know the opposite of that is my fucking kidneys. That's what I just said. I know. Yeah. I may be less inclined to rub your back while it's happening because you didn't choose this. I'll sit in the toilet and sit there with you on the toilet while I'm being scrolling. If I was like my kidney hurts, can you rub my back? You'd be like, yes, baby, you would. You're right. I want to seem tough and you're choosing this, but I will, baby, you win the kidney stone possibly happens. I don't think the kidney stone is going to happen. I've been drinking a lot of water. It's not like I have a lot of these. I think the one time that I got the kidney stone, it went because I went from drinking a gallon and a half a water a day and eating very, very clean keto to a hurricane happening and eating nothing but fast food and drinking five energy drinks a day with no fucking

33:05water for two weeks. So I absolutely did that to myself, but I haven't had one sense. What I was saying, I didn't lose it. Hell yeah. Say we're sitting down, we're watching the Hobbit, we ordered some pizza hut and we're having the conversation of, I really enjoy your company, I miss you when you leave. I want to be in a committed relationship, right? And the retort or the rebuttal to that is, I am open to that, but first we need to figure out when we're moving in together and when we're getting married, like that, that would be a lot for me. Like we're barely discussing becoming a committed relationship. Maybe after like, all right, can't put a timeline on that. That's another thing where once we're committed, there is a different level of, now we're public. Now people can see us. How are you going to conduct yourself? Now that we're in the eye of it, right? Things are getting a little bit more serious.

34:06You might be spending the weekends over now and you're leaving clothes in the, clothes in the one drawer of the nightstands. Do you remember that? I do. I love you. I love you too. I think that there's, I think there's ways to have these conversations, right? Yeah. And there's healthy ways to do it. If you're wanting to commit to somebody and you're trying to establish whether or not the commitment is worth having and you go, well, you know, I do want to be in a relationship. But if I'm with somebody, I want to know that in two to three years that there's going to be an engagement and a marriage, assuming that everything is good. I don't want to get into this relationship knowing that I'm just going to be something that is a hole when you need to fill a hole. I don't want to be in a relationship with somebody that views this as a way to take up space or fill time. I am dating with intent. My goal is to be a husband or a wife. I want to have a family. And if that's not what you want and you don't think that's reasonable within three or

35:08five years of meeting somebody, then tell me that because this is the expectation that I have for my life. So again, that even that is manifesting when you think about it. But the conversation in the way the conversation is had matters. Yeah, I would be more comfortable with that, right? We're sitting down eating pizza and you hit me with, I miss you when you leave. I want to be in a committed relationship. I want to spend more time with you, whatever the case may be. And then you say with this, right, we're having the conversation and becoming more serious, I'm dating with the intent of being married within the next five years. Right. Do you want to? I don't know that now versus a year and a half into the relationship. And then you propose to me unexpectedly and we've never had the conversation of marriage before, right? I think that conversation is different than when are we going to move in? Right. That's why I said that. Yeah, I agree with that. Okay. Continuing.

36:08Well, we both agreed that we would move in with each other after the two year mark. I was new to the area after a near death accident and recovering from what, from that while also undergoing chemotherapy for ovarian cancer. He is an apprentice electrician and in trade school and just finished his first year of his four year program. Well times go by. Things are great. But after a while, I start to notice that every time I would try to talk about plans after a year into our relationship that he would shut down or redirect the conversation with, we'll talk about it when it gets closer to that point. At this point in time, I had been living with roommates and taking care of myself. You say time goes by but you didn't say how much time you said that you would agree to move in with each other after the two year mark. If you're trying to talk about moving in with each other, it's only been 14 months and him saying we'll talk about that when it comes. He's sticking to the agreement. We said two years. Yeah.

37:08But 14 months, you know, you've made it more than 50% of the way there at that point. When you think about it. This is also the problem that I have with this. We moved in together relatively quick, just to be honest, like it's not like it was an overnight thing, but it wasn't in a two year span. There needs to be flexibility there. If your goal is to get married and you want to have a family and kids and you're trying to plan your life out, there needs to be wiggle room. What happens if there's an emergency in that that person has to move away for six months and come back and now your two, your plan has pushed to two years, six months. What happens if things are going really, really well and you want to speed the timeline up? If you feel like things are, why would you not want to have that conversation anyways? The idea, the excitement of the things to come is why people are successful. People don't do shit that they don't want to do with enthusiasm. When you want to do something and it's a feel good, it's a dopamine life is great.

38:13We're working for this thing. We're achieving goals that that reward system is firing, right? So why wouldn't you want to have a faster timeline or even have those conversations to what if and daydream together? Yeah. Nope. I agree with that. I would have a problem with somebody shooting down my conversations. We'll talk about it as it gets sooner is not the same thing as, you know, what we said two years, but yeah, let's talk about it. Maybe he doesn't actually want this and he's putting it off because he doesn't want to have the conversations or maybe he doesn't want to get your hopes up because he's going to back out one day. There's a whole lot of like my brain of why can't we have this conversation is already going. Right. I said what I said because I agree this is also the problem with the timeline. If you give somebody a timeline and then you suddenly feel different, right? And you change your mind and you want to have the conversation about moving that timeline out. You can't expect this person to change their mind, right? You would want them to be excited about it. You would want them to be enthusiastic and be open to changing that timeline.

39:17There are a lot of motherfuckers out there that once it's said, it's set in stone. And they aren't willing to change their minds on it. We've come to an agreement. I'm focused on other things right now. It could be too much of an inconvenience to have that conversation right now. Other things on the forefront of their mind and that puts, where is the priority of the relationship at? So a lot that goes into that. Continuing. Yeah. His parents have allowed him to live with him. His parents have allowed them to live with him, allowed him to live with them so that he can save money for a house. I think that's what you meant to say. And he works as a soft, but he doesn't pay rent. Does have a car payment, doesn't buy his own groceries and shares a phone bill and car insurance with his family. Is that a problem for you? Sounds like it. Why? If he's actually saving his money and the only thing he has to pay for is his car, his cell phone, his insurance, and he's working as an electrician, even as an apprentice year

40:19one where he's getting paid minimum wage, there's still an opportunity to save there. Yeah. Now when he actually becomes a tradesman and is working full time, there's a lot of money that could be saved there. Before we get any further into this email, this is a priority thing. Yeah. Right. So a lot of conversation being had in the manosphere right now about not selling yourself out to a woman, making sure that you build your brand, your empire. Most of you have never even owned a business let alone talking about building an empire. But you want to, you, these people are saying things like you need to save your money. You know, don't get married. It's not worth it. You're going to lose half your shit. Blah blah blah blah. People that are chronically online, chronically being force fed this shit, they start to believe it. Data proves that men who are married make more money. They live longer. They have better health across the board and every metric, a man performs better in life

41:21when he has a good woman. Problem is, is a lot of men are having a hard time finding a good woman. This dude has got a head on his shoulders at 25 years old. He's fixing to become an electrician. He's doing the apprenticeship program. He's becoming a tradesman. He's not out fucking, it doesn't sound like he's out drinking and horn. He doesn't have his own house. He's not wasting money on shit. At least that's not what she said so far. And if he's staying there to be able to save money to buy a house, he is setting himself up for financial success. Now at 28 years old, you're 28, he's 25. This might be a problem for you because you might have other things that you want. And this relationship fails and the chances of it failing is very fucking high because every relationship you've had up until this one has failed. He's going to be further along in his life. He's going to be financially stable. He's going to have financial literacy. He will probably own his own house. He will be a high paid blue collar worker because electricians make good money and then he's going to find somebody that's a little bit more patient, a little bit more understanding.

42:24And the next relationship is going to be a whole lot better for him because he's not having to deal with any of this shit. This comes down to understanding your priorities and like where you're at at 25 years old. You guys are so fucking young still. And like even at 45, I know I'm older than you all by like double when you think about it close to double at least for him. But like 60 year old, you're young. Right. Right to an 80 year old. I'm at half my lifespan. Like there's still a whole lot of life shit that I need to figure out. I wish I had the knowledge that I have now in my 20s. We would be so much better off, right? Like continuing. Yep. The two year time span came around and I brought up to him that I was getting ready to move into my own apartment because I'm 27 and tired of living with my roommates. I had taken over someone else's lease and had four months left of that lease. We had the discussion, hang on, I want to pause. I can feel the frustration that you had towards him by the way that you said that.

43:28I brought up to him that I was getting ready to move into my own apartment because I'm 27 and tired of living with roommates. But she, what are you going to say? She's trying to get him to come though. Right. Which means you're technically not living on your own. Oh, that's true. I can feel the frustration. I can feel like there's maybe even a possible resentment because he wasn't willing to have the conversations before the two year mark. That sentence says a lot to me. Yep. This is a hard position. Yeah. If you, if you remove the emotional aspect from this in logic, brain, this entire situation, you are three years older than he is, which is not a lot. It's really not a lot, but in your 20s, boy, you think it is that three years different. You are trying to, you're in a different position than he is. You're a roommate to somebody right now living with other people sharing spaces where he's at home getting to do all the at home shit. Doesn't have to cook. Doesn't have to worry about food. May not even have to do his own laundry. That's a possibility. Maybe it's not, but it is a possibility.

44:28There's a whole lot of things that he's got going on at home right now. And from the outside looking in, I can see how you would be jealous at that. You're out here, fucking spinning all of your money on rent, trying to survive. And he's at home fucking eating off of mom and dad doing the things, saving money. Like there's a resentment that's going to be there for some people. But you have a different path in life than he does. He's got a squishy, easy thing going right now. Like why would you want to take that from somebody? If this is going to get him to be an entrepreneur one day or allows him to make six figures because he took a little bit of time before moving out and fucking his life up, I'm just saying if our kids wanted to stay here until they had financial steps, stability, not a charge rent stick that shit in a savings account. There's a whole lot of things that we can do that's going to help them set up for success. But I'd be damned if they're going to stay here and blow all their fucking money on stupid shit and not save. Like there's going to be stipulations to that shit. I don't know, man, I remember being in my 20s and seeing my friends that had parents that were like still supporting them.

45:30And I'm driving around in a 1980 thunderbird that's pooped brown that used a cord at oil every time I started the car. Like if I drove to work cord oil, if I drove to the gas station, cord oil, like I was spinning more on oil than I was on gas at that point. It's insane. So it was one of those things that like I had this beater ass car and then all of my friends who are still living at home with their parents are driving around in brand new cars, air conditioning, fucking new paint, great gas mileage. I'm driving around in a fucking car that's 20 years old that leaks oil eight cylinder. It's got a 302 in it. Like, I'm fucking struggling over here and they're living the life. And of course I'm fucking resentful and that whole it must be nice mentality. It is nice and grown up me looking back at that man. They should have stayed where they were at. Hopefully it gave them a leg up in life because I was over there struggling. Like why would I want other people to struggle just because I am like someone in the chat suggestion you called men living at home not taking care of parents as bitches and

46:33pussy's I'm confused. There is a difference between a man who is mooching off of his parents and a man who is, it's a charity from the parents who allow their children to stay at home to save money to better their future, the long term life of their child. And this man she said works as a soft is saving money, paying very minimal bills. There's a difference between a hustler taking advantage of a situation that is gifted to them and somebody who is taking advantage of their parents because they want to be lazy in their life. I can't believe you had to even answer that just now. They took a very small part of a conversation yesterday and applied it to something that doesn't apply here. Yesterday we were talking about a 35 year old man who had zero responsibilities did not work did not pay bills completely mooched off their parents and was doing nothing to improve their status of life and was in the dating pool. There is a very different conversation from somebody that is trying to set their future

47:34up for success and taking every opportunity, exploiting that opportunity and then reaching success. The difference between somebody who makes it in life and somebody who doesn't is how far you're willing to go to get to that level of success. I would live in my fucking car if I had to. I would go I would get rid of all of this shit and do anything that I had to do if I had to start over to get back to where I am right now. And if that meant living on somebody's couch. If it meant renting a studio and going back to tattooing and living in the back of the tattoo shop for six months, I'm doing whatever the fuck I have to do to get to where I need to go. I'm not going to take a handout. I'm not going to be a charity. I'm not going to take government assistance. There's a whole lot of things that makes a male a man living off the charity of others is not one of those things. Continuing. Yep. We had discussed and both agreed that before the lease was out, we would look for an apartment together and move in after that lease was up.

48:36Well, a week after I moved into my apartment, we have the conversation of looking at apartments. To which point he tells me, I am not ready to move out of my parents' house and move in with you. Oh, God, I hope you ask why instead of just getting angry. Right. There's a reason. Whether that be he's recognized that he doesn't like your temperament or he doesn't want to move out of his parents' house. He likes his parents more. He enjoys the comfortability provided there. There's a reason that he's changed his mind on it. And there was also a reason that he didn't want to have the conversation before and out too. Like my husband said, you would want your person to be excited before the two-year mark and be like, you're right, we're having a great time. I miss you. All of these kinds of things. Fuck the two-year mark. Let's move in together. Right. And the passions of love and the thralls of being given affection. I can't think of the words. There was a reason he was avoiding them. There was a reason he wasn't wanting to put you in the relationship as a priority, moving

49:38you guys up in his life at that time. And now there's reasons. So like you said, I hope that she asked why instead of just getting angry because that why, if that why is, I am 30,000 short of a down payment on a house. And if I move in with you and I have to spend $1,200 a month for my half of the rent on top of my half of groceries, electric, water, gas, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, that $30,000 that I need to save just now got pushed back from three years to 10 years. And it may not happen. And I'm not trying to rent for the rest of my life. Right. Now, if that's the conversation, it's a very different why than because I don't see this relationship going anywhere. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Very good perspective to add on. You guys, we've told you guys over and over again that you have to define what success looks like. Success to me looks like being financially stable. If you have to look at your bank account to get gas, if you have to look at your bank account to get groceries, if you have to look at your bank account to go to the movies, right?

50:43You're not financially stable. If you are wondering, if you have enough money to do the things you want to do, you're not. If you don't have a savings, you're not. If you don't have mutual funds and Roth IRAs and any type of retirement, something, you're not. So this comes down to financial stability. Success to me looks like being financially stable. Success to me looks like my kids being able to live a really good fucking life because of what I'm able to provide for them. Success to me looks like a successful marriage. It looks like you cleaning up after me because of the thing that we cut out earlier. Successful marriage looks like senior face at least four times a week, whether it's in passing in the kitchen or in the bedroom. There's a whole lot of things that for me define what success looks like. It's good, healthy relationships with people that I love. So knowing what I define success as and being financially stable is at the top of that

51:45list because if the money is good, everything else is easy, right? I then have to prioritize my life based off of the structure of what these things look like. If we were, I know without a shadow of a doubt that if we were broke, we would still have a really dope relationship because our relationship is really good. We wouldn't be able to travel. We wouldn't be able to do the weird shit that we do on a whim, but we would still be able to eat macaroni and cheese, play video games and fuck like we're 20. Be able to do a whole lot of dope shit. We would find other ways to make life exciting. We would do free dates. Yeah. You know what I would do? I would create themed date nights where I would cook a cuisine from a different country. Yeah. And we could like watch a documentary or something and living with all the lights off and shit. You know? I'm going to continue doing the same thing that I've been doing, except for I'm going to do it in in free manners instead of expensive ones. Yeah. So instead of making you come in the national forest some in other state, I'm just going

52:46to do it in this one. We'll go to the beach. And when there's nobody on the beach, we're going to fool around. There's going to be a whole lot of inappropriate things to let you know that you are the goddess that I see you as every fucking day. There's a, and real shit like I know that I just mentioned a whole lot of sexy time and that's super important to both of us. But there's a whole lot of other things in our life that matters just as much. The money is a tool that allows us to live and do the things that we want to do, but it's not an necessity for our relationship. It's a freedom. It's a freedom, right? It's a tool. When you look at money as a tool as a resource and you know that that resource is going to ebb and flow, it's not going to always be in abundance. Sometimes you're going to have to put a whole lot out in order to get some back. That's just life. When you treat money that way, it's a, you get different returns with it. I don't know. I don't even remember why that got brought up. I got a sidetracked thinking about fucking in the woods. I don't remember either. I can't remember who said it. Somebody in the chat said, I would be upset about the timing. Where is it?

53:47Oh, it was Janay. I'll agree the why matters. I would have been upset at the timing. I would lose respect for someone who waited until the last minute to provide that information. I 100% agree with that. Why? I would be absolutely livid. And real shit, that would probably be the end of the relationship for me. Why? Because you have now proven to me that you're not capable of hard conversations and I'm not going to be able to, I feel like I'd be walking on eggshells for the rest of my life, guessing everything. That's not absolutely not like you, you are not capable of hard conversations and now you have derailed my life a little bit because of it. Also I shouldn't be relying on somebody else for my life to move forward. Yeah, that would be plus it's also the lead up. This guy was avoiding conversations beforehand. Yeah. My issue in that, because I do agree with Jenny as well and everything that you said, but my take on that is that I can't trust you. Yes. It gave me lip service in the beginning and told me what I wanted to hear so that we could spend time together so that you could have whatever needs you needed fulfilled while

54:47I've wasted the last two years of my life. This is, this is why it's really important to, you know, to establish those goals like we were talking about earlier. There's a difference between trying to establish the, what you're trying to do in life and trying to have hard, hard like time limits before you commit to somebody. I view this entire situation as this chick is from her perspective, she's wasted two years of her life. I agree. From his perspective, he's 25 years old with no real responsibilities. And though this impacts her life greatly other than the hard conversation, it doesn't impact his at all. At all. Because if she moves on, he's just going to go find somebody else and continue to live that way that he's living because he's got it really good right now. Learned the hard way that I do not, and I learned it young, young and the hard way that I do not rely on other people to make sure that my basic needs like shelter food, those things are met. If I cannot pay my rent on my own, I am not going to make decisions of moving into places based on other people's word that they are going to move in as well.

55:48If I don't have the money to pay the rent, I'm not taking the place. Right. Right. Like I need to ensure that I can got, I need to ensure that I got me, right? And got me by proxy as well as my children at the end of the day, bottom line. I want to add on to this conversation that it wouldn't have gotten to this point for me. I wouldn't have been two years. I'm moving in and then he drops a bomb of, I don't want to do this. I think it would have been two or three avoided conversations of trying to talk about the future and where we're going for me to say, what is happening right now? Why are you avoiding this conversation? Like this is a necessity for me in order to be in a relationship moving forward. And if we can't have this conversation right now, like there's a very strong possibility that we're going to go our separate ways trying to find a nice way to say that. I wonder how much of this is that she needs his income in order to pay for the apartment. And I wonder how much of this is he's aware of that, right? Because that adds a whole other level of, of what are we doing right now? Like if we're together because you know that I'm making decent money and I'm about to be

56:50making a lot more, and now we're going to be fucking signing a lease together and you need my income to be able to get that apartment. You're not with me because you love me. You're with me because you want the money to be able to live. It's a different conversation. So like now where does this go? These conversations again, we said this at the very beginning of the episode, these conversations have to happen often. Yes, yes. All of the conversations about your life, your finances, your retirement, your dreams, your goals, your aspirations, all of that shit needs to be a reoccurring theme in your relationship because those things are going to change. Every single year we have ideas and goals and plans of what we're going to do. And by six months into the year, our end of the year goals have either been met or have shifted so much that it's not relevant anymore. Right? So like, yeah. I also understand that that finances are fucked up for a lot of people and that there are a lot of people out there that are skating by with a minimum wage, not wanting to work weekends and not wanting to work a second job and not willing to do side hustles and not

57:52willing to work more than 40 hours or 32 hours because that's all they need to be a full time employee. And they're accepting the life that they're in. That's a choice. You could work two jobs or three jobs. There's 168 hours in a week. You could work 80 of that shit. You're not going to have any free time. And if you did that for a little while, you could set yourself up to open a business. You could be doing other things with your life. I don't want to work weekends. I don't want to get up at six in the morning. It's my birthday. Shut the fuck up. You goddamn cry, baby. That whole week, summer vacations and weekends off shit ended when you were in school. I want the kids when they start school to school year round. It will be. Yeah. Yep. This sleep in past eight o'clocking and a thing either. I remember being. Yeah. No, this is their last summer. I'm giving them their last summer. And then they are going to transition into little adults. Yep. He's going to get to the point where he's going to be able to start working out. And when he's able to start going to the gym when I get up in the morning, I don't care if it's three o'clock in the morning.

58:53He's getting out of bed. He's going to the gym with me. And he's going to love me or hate me for doing it, but he's going to fucking do it. I don't care if you nap in the middle of the day. I really don't. Right. But you're going to do the thing and you're going to you're going to get them reps in, especially when that testosterone starts hitting the moment he starts getting acne or hair on his body. It's go time. Yeah. Yep. He can gripe and complain and all those kinds of things. Is that to you? Yeah. He can do that to me. Be like that sucks on. Yeah. Everybody in a morrow get two days off a week. That complaining make it harder or easier. Right. It didn't do either. Then what was the point of that? I'm here for you to vent. I can be the void that you scream into, but I'm not going to try and I believe that is going to be very good for him long term to be doing that. Yeah. Right. Little miss is going to get up with me in the mornings. You're going to start smudging the house with me. We're going to meditate and do yoga together. Yeah. I believe that we are going to be setting our children up for one long term routines of

59:55finding their calm and peace throughout their day. And I believe that specifically working out is going to be a part of how our son discover who discovers who he is as a man. And what he's capable of. Right. Wait to have been there for me since I was a kid. And in real shit, my entire adult life, the only time I've not worked out is after injuries. And every time I've not worked out, it's fucked with me. Somebody in the chat said my birthday was Friday. I worked overtime the whole day. My birthday is a secret. Unless you're like super close to me or you have access to documentation, you don't know my birthday. I have that shit turned off on everything. I don't want you to congratulate me on my birthday. My parents fucked. I didn't do nothing. I came shooting out of the vagina like a water cannon. Yeah. I didn't do that. Why are we celebrating me? That is one of the most egotistical things ever. You should buy your parents gifts on your birthday and tell them, thank you for fucking. You ain't special. We're not. We are blessed to be able to have this life. All of us. You don't need a special day to celebrate your existence.

1:00:57You should do that every day because you could die today. Yeah. My birthday has always been uncomfortable for me. Yeah. Yeah. Real shit. So I genuinely enjoy that people want to appreciate me on my birthday, right? I understand that that's a thing for society and people and that is a way that they express love. Like I remembered your birthday. I'm thinking of you, all of those kinds of things. I have accepted that as a human thing and I appreciate the love that people are pouring into me in that. What I hate about my birthday is the people who I only talk to on my birthday and the only thing I get is a happy birthday text. Yeah. Because Facebook said it's your birthday. Right. Like that makes me so fucking uncomfortable. I don't want the random birthday text. I don't want the obligation to respond to the 85 people on Facebook who have told me happy birthday. Like it's a weird societal pressure. Yeah. The text message on a Sunday afternoon, Hey, Bubba, I was thinking about you.

1:02:00I love you. We're more to me than a birthday text message ever will. Yep. More than any text message ever will. Hey, how's your mental health going today? Yeah. It's from Billy every day, every day. And when I don't get one, I message him at night. Yeah. Like, bro, where's my message? Sometimes I get to it before him, but I also know that he tattoos for a living and he sleeps in the morning. So like when I'm up at three or four o'clock in the morning, he's either just going to bed or sound asleep and I'm not trying to text. But I do all of my early morning shit. Yeah. It works out really well because Levi gets up early. So I don't feel weird texting him early in the morning. So I also feel like this is going to be the end of the side tangent with the earth. They think I have also felt right. This is a me standard. This is a me thing. Don't fucking take this personally. Take it personal. If it hits a nerve, ask yourself why you're triggered. I have always felt like me celebrating my birthday as a super narcissistic and vain thing to do because it's not about me. This is my mother gave birth on this day.

1:03:00Like I you're right. I did nothing. Yeah. People who take like birthday weeks or like celebrate the whole month and make it everybody else's problem. Rose, but it's my birthday. All right. Back to the email. I am not ready to move out of my parents house and move in with you. Yep. That would also be the end of the relationship for me because we very clearly have very different ideas of what our lives are going to look like. We are incompatible. I'm not saying you're wrong for that. I'm just saying it's not for me. Continuing, I'm a new grad CNA and barely make $18 an hour and work full time. So just based on that sentence, I feel like you're going to start blaming him for your financial situation. Right. And so even if you were relying on him, moving into an apartment because of his financial contribution to be able to survive, this goes back to that conversation at the end of the day. I need to make sure that I got me.

1:04:01And if I can't cover all of the rent by myself, I'm cool with living off of ramen for a bit. I can work my way up through a company. I can always make, right? There's ways to hustle and make money to increase your income. I'm cool with eating the same three meals. Real shit. I can eat one big meal a day and snack on mango for the rest of it and be good. I'll restrict the shit out of myself if I have to to make sure that I have shelter. We don't need three meals. Three square meals a day. That's a marketing ploy from, I don't know what the version of big pharma is for big grocery, but it's supermarkets that did that. Right. It's all for financial gain in their pockets. We don't need three square meals a day. You actually don't need to eat every day. You're actually, your body is going to do a whole lot more for you health wise if you fast for a day or two at a time. Yeah. So with all of that said, right? One, does it suck that you are now in this predicament? I didn't read ahead. I don't know what you're about to say. This is just me assuming based on that one sentence that this is what it's going to delve into.

1:05:01One, does it suck that he did this? Yes, it sucks that he backed out. It sucks that you were relying on him. Two, you got yourself into the situation. I said this the other day, I'm skeptical of everything that everyone says. My husband, I trust everyone. I trust my husband the most out of everyone. I no longer, I'm skeptical, skeptical of the things that my husband tells me. Live every day with my husband. I know the character of my husband. I am a little less inclined to be trustworthy of a friend that I've had for a year and a half, right? I'm still learning the layout, the land of you. 40% of the shit you could be telling me is bullshit and I haven't learned that yet, right? With this guy dodging conversations before the two year mark of moving in together, all of those are red flag indicators to me that I can't trust you with this next step. I have to prepare myself to live on my own. I need to be looking at things in my price range because he has already shown me that he is not trustworthy and the sound foundation moving forward.

1:06:07Shouldn't you be doing that anyways? Yes. Getting an apartment based off of another person's ability to help you pay is you setting yourself up for failure. If you get a $3,000 a month apartment because you're banking on a roommate or a lover to come and help you pay for things and you guys split or the roommate thing ends, how are you going to pay that rent? This is basic survival skills, guys. You don't fucking go above your means. If you can only afford $1,800 a month on rent, you should be looking for like 12 to 1,300 just to be safe. Renters insurance could be a thing. You know what I mean? That extra $500 a month could go into savings. Continuing? Yep. The only reason I moved into this apartment was because he specifically told me that I would only have to hold out and struggle on the bus for those four months until we got a place together. Wait, wait. I'm now I'm confused. I thought he told her before they signed the lease. Did she sign a lease based off of this and then he backed out?

1:07:07Did I miss that? Let's see. I'm going to back up. We've had a lot of conversation. We both, we had the discussion and both agreed that before the lease was up that we would look for an apartment together and move in after where she took over a four-month lease after the four month lease is up, they were going to move into a place together. Okay. A week after I move into my apartment for the four months, we have the conversation of looking at apartments to which point he tells me I'm not ready to move out of my parents house and move in with you. Well, she'd only signed a four-month lease at that point anyways. So she was only, she was planning on this being a four-month ordeal. Right. But she left the roommate situation. So she has the four month place and then nothing lined up. Gotcha. So the four months is going to be up and hopefully she's able to find a place that she can afford on her own, right? This is the kind of situation that I fucked up and got myself into. Learn the hard way. Do not rely on somebody else to make sure that my basic necessities are met. Continuing? Yeah. Nope.

1:08:08Okay. This is the difference between somebody who's had to struggle and fight for everything in their life versus people having people in their lives who have, they have been, they've been able to depend on. You have enough people in your life fail to show up when you need to show up. You learn to do a whole lot of things on your own. There's never a scenario where I'm doing anything other than like business shit with contracts where I'm relying on another person to do something. If you were not working and the podcast wasn't a thing and I was tattooing full-time and was only doing the tattoo thing and we were going to find a place, I wouldn't factor you into the decision at all. Other than, and this is going to sound fucked up, don't take it this way and expense. You have to eat. Kids have to be fed, whatever, whatever, whatever. So I have to factor in all of that into our finances to figure out how much we have to do all of the other things. There's not a what if she goes back to work.

1:09:08That's not a conversation we're having. This is not a, well, if she could work part time and make an extra $600 a month as a side hustle, we're not having that conversation. I don't depend on the what if of other people. Well, what if we rent out the man cave? What if we rent the RV? What if we rent the van? What if we do all of these? What if what if what if what if what if? What if none of that shit pans out the way you thought it was going to pan out and now you're fucked because you overextended because you've gotten so accustomed to having somebody in your life to be like, oh, you're struggling. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. You're not playing your life based around things that don't fucking exist. This is a really fucked up situation to be in. You're not in expense to be clear. I need to say that a second time, you're not in expense in that situation. The only factor that's coming in is to make sure that you have the life that you have been accustomed to as we're moving through this transitionary phase. That's a lot of pressure.

1:10:11That's the plight of a good man. That's my responsibility to lead my family, to protect making sure that you are all safe and have your needs met and to provide and all of the things that I have continued to provide, making sure that provision is taken care of. I feel the need to reassure you right now that if our comfort of life decreased in any manner, I don't want you to kill yourself to try to get that back to that point. I can live very comfortably, very little. We have a life of abundance right now. We do. We don't understand that that's the life of abundance, but I also know that it's all just stuff. The relationship remains intact and we are good. The rest of this is irrelevant. We've started over so many times. We did it after the hurricane. We lost hundreds of thousands of dollars after Hurricane Ian. We took more of a loss after Hurricane Ian than most people will see in a lifetime. I understand that and we're way ahead compared to where we were then. We have come so much further than that.

1:11:12I'm not worried about the things. I'm not worried about my credit. I'll plug and blow my credit up. Just stop paying shit. Yeah. Don't give a fuck. File bankruptcy. I don't care about any of that. There are things that matter to me though, making sure that you're able to homeschool, making sure that you don't have to go back to work. I don't want you working. If you had to go back to the tattoo shop part time, like that was a want for you and this wasn't a thing, I would be willing to have that conversation, but even that would be hard for me. I wouldn't tell you no. I would be at the shop when you're at the shop because I don't want you to be there without me. There's just no such thing as black and white. All of these are gray areas and every one of these hypotheticals are just that and I don't ever see that being a thing. I don't see us falling backwards. We may have months where the podcast regress is a little bit and then we bounce back. We have seen more of a down than an up a lot over the last year and a half. Even that, it has an impact in our life. We're finding other ways to generate revenue and to build and grow. I'm not worried about starting over again.

1:12:13It's not a concern for me. Good. Continuing. Yeah. I am left with $175 a month after all bills after moving into this apartment for gas and groceries, which realistically all goes to gas. This leaves me with no money to have a work life balance and I was okay with busting ass for those four months until we got a place together and I could get some relief. We had an argument and he then told me that he wouldn't be ready to move in together after two years or once he was out of school, which is another three years. Yeah, he doesn't want to be with you. Yeah, I think the argument was the yeah. I wonder how many arguments you guys have had. That feels like this is the last straw. I don't want to do this. It's so crazy the way our brains work sometimes because sometimes we're really on the same page and sometimes we're not at all. You're like, I wonder how many arguments there's been and my brain went right to, he's manipulated you the entire time to get what he wants out of this. Yeah. You guys have been together for almost two years.

1:13:14He's had no real commitment that has had to be had there. There's no real relationship here other than you guys probably hanging out going on dates and fucking. Like this is little, this is like teenage love affair type shit to me. This isn't what relationships are built off of. And she built her life off of his word, which means she's either really gullible or he's a really good liar. Yeah. But like I don't think that this is a thing of arguments over and over again. I think that he has a very cushy life and he doesn't want to give that up. And he just said that even after two or three years when he's got his license and he's working full time, he's still not ready to move in with her like that says everything that I need to know about the relationship. This is a gap filler. He's waiting for something better to come along. Yeah, no, I agree. Yeah. She also said that she's working full time and only has $175 a week and this affects her work life balance. You need to give another job. No, she has $175 a month after bills. Still need to find another job. This is what I was talking about earlier with the whole 40 hour week thing. Work 80 hours a week. Go get another job.

1:14:14Do overtime. Find a side hustle. Do something to make more money. Crying about this shit's not going to change your life. So what you're going to do about it? You're wanting to cry. You're going to fucking take steps. You guys need to learn to budget your money, man. Learn to live below your means. Does it? Okay. My mind went to maybe I really am just out of touch with reality and and shit's not the same anymore. Everyone, whether it was a male or female that I knew when I was a kid wanted to get the fuck out of their parents house. Same. Right? And they were good to save their money, but then once they met somebody and they were good to go, like it didn't matter if they were buying or renting, like we can figure this shit out. They wanted to get out and be with the person that brought them happiness. My mind went to if it was the right person they would and I feel like if there weren't as many arguments, right? Or if there wasn't tension or whatever the case may be, she said things were going good. Right. But I've heard people say things are going good and then I find out you're fucking arguing

1:15:15four times a week over stupid shit. Like that, y'all, that's not good. Right. There is a there's a strong possibility that over their times of interacting, he recognized that she was just going to be a placeholder versus somebody that he wanted to move out and have a life with. I agree. There is also the possibility that he just used her the whole time for a fuck while he was saving his bag at his parents house. I'm going to say something else. It's probably not going to be very popular. And this is, this is maybe this is me not healed. Maybe this is my lack of trust in faith in people because I think that people are inherently scumbags. This is a situation where he's 25 years old living with his parents. She's 28 years old living with roommates. They're not living together. We have no idea how much time they actually have together. And if they're only seeing each other once or twice a week, what's he doing the rest of his downtime? How many times have you sent text messages and not heard back right away? Right? Like, I don't know, man. Oh, yeah, you can just be out here playing the long con.

1:16:16Yeah. While talking to other women waiting for the right thing to come along, there's a whole lot of people that are about Mr. right now and not Mr. Right. Yeah. I'm going to fill this gap until the thing comes that truly brings me joy. And if there's no real emotional connection there, it's really easy for people to do foul shit because they don't have the emotional connection. Right. I don't know. God, yeah, it could have been a real possibility the whole time. He was like, oh, dope. She wants two years. That's two years of me fucking around and not having to make up excuses, not move in. And then you know, wild. What's the thing about? Right. Back to the email. Had I known that he wasn't ready, I would not have moved into this apartment and I tripled check with him before signing the lease that I would only be doing things on my own for four months to which he said yes, multiple times. Hold on. So if she signed a four month lease or was he going to just move in with her after that four months, because I don't know anybody is doing a four month lease, unless you're renting something that's like already furnished, she took over somebody else's lease, but it's

1:17:16still for only four months. So it's going to end either way. So her being overextended right now, she's still going to have to get her own place. Now there's a whole new reality that she probably spent the money moving. She probably shot her load on her savings to get into this house, which means she probably doesn't have anything. And she was 100% rely on his income to get another place. And I'm willing to bet that that created another problem because to move into somewhere, you figure, if you're looking at a $2,000 a month rent, your $6,000 just to move in before electric deposit, gas, water, whatever, whatever, whatever. Like now you're $7, $8, $9 grand to move in somewhere. Like when you think about full expenses, plus all the things that you have to buy, like this kid might not have that kind of money, or maybe he doesn't want to spend it because that's going to come out of his buy a house fund. Like, I don't know, man. Continuing. Yep. We have now hit the five month mark and I had to resign my lease for another year. It's better than being homeless.

1:18:16Didn't cost your first lesson security again either. Right. But she's going to have to get another job. Yeah. Like real shit. This is a bad situation, but it could be so much worse. It really could be so much worse. I would be looking for a second job or getting a better paying job. I would be right. Am I willing to struggle a little bit longer and gain an additional skill that can earn me more income? Do I want to work two jobs, get an additional income to be able to save money to get to my own place or like get a lease expensive place? Then develop a skill that can earn me more money. Like there's a lot of different ways to handle this. This sucks. Someone in the chat said this emailer isn't getting what she expected out of this email. I don't think that a lot of y'all get what you expect out of these emails. Yeah. We have conversations about life shit and like sometimes it's not even remotely relevant to what's going on in your life. There's been a couple of times in the chat where people are like, I don't think that's what they're saying.

1:19:17I don't think that's what they're saying. We're aware of that. We hype at the ethical things because we don't know what's going on in their life and we try to cover things from multiple perspectives. The reality is is that most of you don't have quality parents or mentors in your life and nobody's going to be fucking honest with you. They're going to give you this sure coded answer to help the medicine go down. They're going to side skirt things. They're going to beat around the bush and you're not going to get any type of real honesty because they don't want to hurt your feelings. I can't speak for my wife, but I don't give a shit if I hurt your feelings. Some of y'all need to have your feelings hurt. That's how you fucking reevaluate your life. This is a, we want you to grow and evolve and we want to help other people too. There's other people that are in situations this emailer is in or is starting to be in the situation and they're going to hear this email and it's going to save them two years a heartache and a fucked up financial situation because they're going to know what. No, you keep talking. No, fuck that. Would you read? She's still with this guy and she's mad that he's not helping her pay bills.

1:20:22She went on to say that he will blow like insane money, like $500 a month in fast food and he spent $1,000 on a broken drone that he doesn't use or like he'll spend $200 to take her out on a date. She's still fucking with this man. That just, that just fucking blew my mind. That just blew my mind. This man, right? He didn't, I'm going to say this. He did. He put you in this fucked up predicament. You are struggling in your life. He is still technically your boyfriend and he was like, good luck struggling. I'll take you out to a $200 meal. I'll feed you tonight. But good luck with your less than $200 a month. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. This is the manosphere conversation. Food probably spends a whole lot of time on the internet and sees giving her money or helping her with her bills is a problem. I need to call the fucking cops. Like I am not okay right now. I am shocked. I cannot believe this. I get why? Why can't you believe it?

1:21:24Because you are suffering. Oh my God. Like I am really short circoning right now. You want this man to be your husband? This is the one that you're picking. He lied to you. He has skirted conversations about y'all's future. He has completely derailed your life. You're living on less than $200 a month after bills. You have no work life balance. This is the man who put you in this position and he is not helping you in this position at all. Oh my God. You're just pussy to this guy. That's what that sounds like to me. Okay, I'm going to challenge your thoughts. He didn't put her in the situation she did. No, I know. I agree with that. Yes. She made a decision based on his word. Yeah. That he was been proven over and over again to not be with integrity. Right. This is a self-imposed like you stuck the wheel inside of your own tire.

1:22:27But are you fucked up for trusting somebody? You're right. He did. Time and time again. Show. You overlooked all of the red flags in this. He didn't put her in this position. I'm using phrasing to try and help people understand. I'm frustrated. I agree with you. Babe, I'm not trying to change your mind. I just, the different perspective in this is that she did this to herself and people, yes, he lied. And yes, he's not a man of integrity and he's not a man of his word. But that is a proven track record over years of this at this point. This is sticking your hand on the stove knowing that it's hot. Right. You're right. The other part of this, hang on. What's up? I'm gonna tell Mommy something. Yeah, we gonna tell her. I'm gonna, is this shirt okay? That's not a tell. That's an ask. Yeah. She feels so fashionable in that shirt. Yeah. Yeah. And she asked me for some glitter on her eyelids today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:23:27Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing that he's not a man of his word that he doesn't live with integrity. She's gonna get mad about how he's spending his money, your, his girlfriend. You're not his wife. You're not his fiancee and y'all ain't living together. So him buying a thousand dollar drone is none of your fucking business. Yeah. Him taking you on a two hundred dollar date is something you should be grateful for. Miss I only have one hundred and seventy five dollars a month. His responsibility is not short, not to make sure that you have a car or insurance or food. an adult that's your responsibility until this goes past the girlfriend stage. About to say this is also the plight of the girlfriend. Right. Anything that a man or a woman does for their boyfriend girlfriend or friend is called charity. We do that because we want to. We are not obligated. The moment we become obligated to support you, the relationship is shifted. Now I agree with everything that you said. I also think it's important to recognize that she did make all of these decisions. Yes.

1:24:28I don't want to hear anything about my money. Right? When we were first dating, you never asked me for shit. Nope. And like we had big conversations about that because there was such a divide in our financial situation and had you started asking me to pay your rent or to take care of you financially or do all of these things, it would have been a big fucking problem for me because they're the manosphere. All of that shit that you see on TikTok and the Red Pill movement, all of that stuff is very prevalent for men. It takes one video to be engaged with for more than 35 seconds for that to be your feed for the next three hours, especially if you've got nothing to do, right? Oh, that makes sense. Oh, that makes sense. Oh, that makes sense. Now it's not just on TikTok. It's on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and you're indated with that shit. And now this becomes your echo chamber, right? Yeah. Now that my IQ is going back up, my emotions are subsiding from the shock of that. I was saying that he put her in this position or whatever I said to that I'm using victim

1:25:33mentality language to help them understand how idiotic it is. This is stupid. This is stupid. If you believe that this man is the reason for all of your suffering and hardships right now, you're a fucking idiot for continuing to be with this man and complain about it. What the fuck? There we go. My IQ is still low because that was a bunch of stupid words I just used. Someone in the chat said, how much more uncomfortable does she need to endure to make a change? I'm going to ask you the same question. All of you, every single one of you in the chat right now, how much more do you need to endure to make a change? If you are willing to live the rest of your life exactly as it is right now with zero change, you have the perfect existence. If you are not willing to live exactly as you are right now, you don't have the perfect existence. So what is it going to take for you to change your fucking life? Are you going to have the hard conversations? Are you going to go do the things that you don't want to do?

1:26:34Are you going to get the second job? Are you going to do all the things that sounds exhausting mentally when you even fucking think about it? Or are you going to accept that this is what your current existence is? I have to pee. This is frustrating for me. I had so much fun in my dreams last night and I have so much fun in my waking life figuring out the dreams I want to make the next. So I have decided, I don't know if I announced this to you guys yet. I have never heard my teeth are floating. I have a new phrase now. Really? Maybe it's just a southern thing. That's crazy. I have decided so I have the moon whisperer. I created a little thing. I sent it to my private dream weavers. I'm going to read off what I sent them. So the moon whisperer is the level beginner. First time herb users, dream herb users, people who rarely remember their dreams, people who want a gentle introduction, right? We're just dipping our toes into the pool. The intentions for the moon whisperer, the lowest level is dream recall, restful sleep,

1:27:36full symbolism, nothing too crazy. And then building trust with the dream world, I understand that the dream world can be a little bit intense and scary for people. The veil, which is the one that I used last night, which caused the, I'm going to say cause. I think it helped enhance my dreams, right? It's the first time I've experienced a cross, an object crossing between my dreams, which was really cool. So the veil is an intermediate level for it's so it's people who have an established dream practice. You are a dream journalist. You are already doing some light interpretation of your dreams. And those who want some richer symbolism, a little bit more intense. And then the third one I created is called the liminal. So that one is between the veil and star walker, which has the Klee in it. That's the super intense one. And the liminal is going to be the advanced without the Klee. So we'll have less health medication confliction. The Klee is very intense, right? So it has, what was it, liver and kidney?

1:28:38And high doses can be problematic. Klee, yeah. Yeah, liver and kidneys. So that the Klee is going to be like once every two weeks, take once and like once at night every two weeks. But the liminal will be, you can take that once, one to three times a week so that for more intense dreams without the Klee in it. And I'm very excited about that one. I'm excited for an in between that doesn't have the psychoactive-esque effects. Yeah. That Klee is very dangerous if you guys are on meds. Like that's one of those things that you absolutely have to do your fucking research before taking. Yes, yes. Are you going to the bathroom? I am going to go. Okay. I'm going to, guys, I know I said what I said a second ago and I know that I was pretty aggressive with that shit to the commenter. I don't even remember who it was. It left the comment. I have a very good life, right? I've had a lot of rocking this a lot of ugly, but I live a life of abundance and I am fucking ecstatic about the current condition of my life. But I am not satisfied or content with the current conditions of my life.

1:29:42This is not what I want. This is a stepping stone to get me to where I want to go. You guys have heard me say on the podcast that most people never make a pass a six figure income because they get to the point where they're making $100,000 or more a year and they stop trying to evolve because they get comfortable. It's really fucking nice, but my dreams have it been met yet. Not even fucking close to where I imagine my life being and I'm closer, like I'm closer to my dreams being met than where they were when I started. But like enough isn't a thing. There's no such thing as enough money or enough vacation time or enough quality time with my family or enough sexy time. Enough is a myth. It's a crutch. It's something that will fucking cripple you if you accept that you have enough and that maybe that speaks to greed. Maybe one of my seven deadly sins is that I want more than what I have and I don't think

1:30:43there's anything wrong with that. My aspirations to continue to fucking reach for things that were told would never be within my grasp. I have held those things played with them, discarded them and continue to fucking go because somebody told me I couldn't have something that I fucking wanted. Like you are responsible for your existence. Make no mistake. Nobody's coming to save you. Your time here is yours. You are a representation of the divine creator and you have that spark in you to create the existence you want to have. Some of you are too afraid to fucking try to have it and it's insane to me. So when I see comments come through the way that it does, I'm going to challenge that shit. I told you at the beginning of this, I'm back. This fucking hippie woo woo trying to be more peaceful and happy. Like I am going to be happy and I still want to have peace, but I'm not going to bite my fucking tongue because it's going to make somebody feel better. This is all there is to that shit. Matt said, see, I'm not comfortable. Just don't know what my next step should be. That's because you haven't had enough time to really think about what you want.

1:31:47What you want is more important than the next step. And there's not a reason for you to say, I don't know what my next step is anymore. Everything that you want to do has been done. Unless you're like on some crazy elite level genius Elon Musk type shit where you're trying to create a wormhole to go back in time to watch yourself, fuck your ex or whatever it is that you're trying to do that has never been done before. Like that situation, everything else has been done. There is a blueprint. Somebody else has already achieved all the things that you want to achieve. You just need to do the research to figure out what you need to do to get to where you're trying to go. Sometimes the road map is not as important as the destination. You and I are going to attempt to go to the same place in two very different routes. And we're going to have different desires on that route. Used to be when I traveled, I was driving straight through. I don't give a shit if you've got to go to the bathroom. We're not stopping again until we're out of gas. Like we're going. And I don't care if I have to drive for 30 fucking hours to get there.

1:32:49It's not the case anymore. Now it's been three hours. I want to stand up. We'll walk around and go to the dog park. Let's go to the gas station. I don't need snacks, but I don't want to sit in the car anymore. Right? Like our, what do they call it? Motis operandi changes as things go. So and she's back back again. I should be in the dog. Yes she is. I know that there are things that you should not do to children because their nervous system is not developed yet, but it's so hard not to do them. To what? To not do them. To not do them. To what? To fuck with them. Like I just said, I know there's things that you should not do to children because their nervous system is not developed yet. And it's so hard not to do them. Like the moment she turned on the water, I could have went, oh my god, what are you doing? Like trying to be funny, but like that would have actually done something to the nervous system because the brain's not developed enough, but that shit's funny to me. And I have to remind myself every time I go to do some shit like that, not to do it. I've actually stopped scaring little man a lot because of that.

1:33:51I don't want him to be a jumpy person. All right, let's get back to the scene so we can do. Okay. Do you want to read the whole thing? Not really. All right. So I'm just going to hit highlights now. Okay. And the two years we've been together are taking care of myself and almost never asked for help moving into the department and having to be here longer than expected has made money really tight for me. That's a lie. She's asked for help every step along the way. Yeah. Are you going to move in? When are you going to move in? When are you going to do this? When are you going to do that? Yeah. That's not a factual statement. Anytime I ask for help, he gives me crap for not having the money myself when I work 12 to 16 hour days and still don't make enough money to cover all my bills, bills being rent, car payment, insurance, phone, bell and medications that my insurance is not cover. He refused to help me pay a bill or tell me he can only help me with 50 or 100 bucks and then go below over $500 a month on fast food or junk food and stupid things like a broken drone that he spent $1,000 on. Yep. You're not entitled to his income.

1:34:52He will take him out. He won't help me with a bill but will take us out on dinner dates and blow $200 on a meal. I have told him time and time again that I would rather have help with a bill than be wine and dine when a meal when it that $200 meal only lasts for two hours whereas $200 would help keep a roof over my head or groceries in my fridge. She said that she's burnt out mentally drained, finding herself holding resentment towards them. She claims that he knew the position that she would be in. He told her that she would only be there for four months and that would be the two of them against the world. Now it feels just like her and anytime she complains about how hard it is, he tells her that I should be better at saving money like him or that I should budget better. He's not wrong. He lied to you and you made decisions based off of a man's word that had been proven unreliable. You can't be mad at him for this. I mean, you can. You absolutely can be mad because he's been continuing to lie to you this entire time, but you should be mad at yourself because you continue to believe the shit. Yeah. Uh, she goes on to say again, that after all of her bills, she only has $175 a month.

1:35:59She has no family support, not super social. She has very few friends. She says I'm at the age of protecting my peace instead of having a big group of friends. Girl, then why are you still with him? Yep. What? You're not protecting your own peace. This as my wife would say, your nervous system knows that you're not going to take care of yourself. Yeah. Yeah, listen. Ooh, you do listen sexy when I listen. That was sexy. Yeah. You're lucky we're live. Yeah. Yeah, because I had gotten, I'm not going to just. Okay. You going? She goes on to say I have no one to turn to in my life. Turn to if my life falls apart. I.e. If I get cancer again, I've had it three times or need a surgery. I've had to put two off in the past four months because I cannot afford to take the time off. Nordicie offered to help me cover bills while I recover. How is any of this his responsibility? She says that he will watch her struggle and panic and try to figure things out on her own, no offer to help unless it's sending her job applications to find a second job. Yeah.

1:37:00This is boyfriend behavior. This man's not your husband. I know that this sucks. You want. This is also shitty behavior of somebody. If this man truly wanted to be with you long term and just couldn't move in because he's trying to save money to buy you guys a house, he could still help you with your bills. That's husband material. This is shitty boyfriend behavior. And this is what you signed up for. Like continue to sign up for every single time he's lied and fallen short of the things he said he was going to do. And you continued forward with this relationship. You are co-signing his line and his shitty behavior. Guys, men specifically, the only thing in this life that you truly fucking have is your word. And when your word doesn't have weight, you have nothing. It doesn't matter if you're a billionaire. It doesn't matter if you're surrounded by a whole bunch of fucking people that want something from you. Your word is fucking everything. So when you are constantly lying, manipulating, doing all the things that you're doing, you're

1:38:03going to end up being a 50 or 60 year old bachelor that might be able to smash some younger women every once in a while, but you're going to fucking die alone. What happens when you get pancreatic cancer? And that little young thing that you've been banging for the last three months goes, I don't want this old man to die in my bed. Then what? Right? Your integrity goes a long fucking way, man. What? I'm going to pray that for some people. Yeah. Yeah, they've led such shitty lives that that's going to be their karma. You put out into the universe what you're going to receive. And that's going to be some of some other people's karma. Yep. I know that I'm a diolone, meaning that I have to experience that by myself. I can hold your hand. I'm sure fucking can and your energy can be there. And like I could take a giant dose of psychedelics and go out like fucking Alfred Hoffmandid, which I will be a thing depending on where I die. I want that lubricant into the next life because I think that's exactly what that'll be.

1:39:06Like an easement. Yeah. But I have to experience that on my own. What I don't want is my last moments alive to be full of regret wondering how come nobody loved me. Right? Yeah. Wondering where my kids are. What were we talking about before the psychedelic thing? The word, a man's word being all that he has. You have your word in your name and most of us don't have a name that fucking means anything. And when you get married, that's what you're given. You get my last name assuming that you're the type of woman who's willing to take it. That's a whole last different conversation in my word that I'm going to do the things that I'm making a covenant with you that I'm going to be able to do for as long as I'm capable of doing them. If my word doesn't mean, could you imagine if she married this dude, how would you ever, ever believe that your vows are sincere? Everything that he said he was going to do up until this point, he has reneged. Yep.

1:40:07And he's greedy with his money. Yeah. This is one of those things where he's not obligated to help you. He's a boyfriend. Right? This is barely a step above a friend. You guys get to bumbogglies and you might tell him a little bit of a deeper secret than everybody else. That's what being in a relationship with somebody is outside of friendship. There is no obligation to help you pay your bills and all those kinds of things. This man, if you decide to stay with him for whatever reason I can't fathom, he is showing you exactly who he's going to be as a husband. It's going to be a separation. You are going to struggle, right? Not just with hardships. You're going to struggle emotionally. He's not going to be there for you. Instead of helping you, he's sending you job applications. I would think you'd hate me. You are kicking me while I'm down right now. Over the job application thing? Yeah. Right. It's fucked up that he's doing it, but there is a level of, that's how people are. He does not view you as his responsibility. Doesn't view you as his future either.

1:41:08Yeah. And that's a very big tell. If you and I were in the courting phase still and your car broke and you were like, I don't know what I'm going to do. And I was unable to get another car or pay to have your car fixed or whatever the case may be. And I was just like, well, that sucks for you. That's a very good indicator that this is not a very serious situation. Yeah. Says everything about how you view me. Yeah. Says a whole lot about whether or not I'm in love, right? If you're like, I have to walk the work for the next two weeks. I'm not okay with that because I love you. Right. So I'm random person. It's like, man, I just walked 45 minutes in the Florida sun at two o'clock in the afternoon. That's a, bro, sweaty. Yeah. How's that swamp ass treating you? Right. Gotta be honest, don't give a fuck. Tracks and jokes about it. Doesn't affect my life at all. You having to walk to work at seven o'clock in the morning and seven degree weather. Two blocks is a fucking concern for me. Then feet need to stay nice. They're going to touch me later. Right. Right? There's a whole lot of like, yeah, I just, you guys read.

1:42:09Read the room. Learn to read between the lines of things. So I, that's it. I feel like we've given a lot. I do too. We're also over two hours before cuts. So my takeaway from this email is this man is gross. This man is not a man. This man is you. Right. Why would you say he's not a man? Because if you are in a committed relationship with something and you guys are building a future together, you don't do shit like, yeah, I'm a move in with you. Yeah, I got you. Yeah, it's us against the world. And then once she signs a fucking lease, be like, nah, yeah, I've, I've not been serious this whole fucking time. That is some child asked middle school shit. I agree. I just wanted an explanation on top of everything else. The avoiding conversations, the right, you can spend your money. However, the fuck you want to spend your money, but it does speak a lot to how you are willing to use your, your finances as a tool to help somebody that you claim to love. Right. And then when you put her in the situation, she made a series of choices based on information

1:43:10that he was providing. Yeah. Right. But this man has fucked up. He has provided something for her that's derailed her life. And she is now struggling because he lied to her. That is, and he doesn't care. He's, I would also write if you were going to spend the $200 on me, I would rather you spend the $200 on my bills. That also speaks to, he's not spending the $200 on you. He's getting something out of going out and spending the money and eating the dinner and showing off that he can do this for assuming a chick that he believes is hot. This does sound like manosphere shit. Well, there's a difference between taking a woman on a date and buying her dinner and paying her bills. One is a date, the other's chicken. Like there's a big difference there. Ultimately she continued to trust someone that proved untrustworthy. Yes. Um, as always, guys, remember you were the author of your own life. Please grab the pen and make better decisions. And we will see you on the next one. Bye guys.